Working

with Military
Families
Through
Deployment
z
and Beyond
Julie Anne Laser

Paul M. Stephens
Stages of Deployment
z

 Pre-Deployment

 Deployment

 Post-Deployment
z

Pre-Deployment
 Family Issues
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 The family is trying to cope with the contradiction between denial with the loved one leaving and anticipation of loss of the loved one from the family system.

 Feelings of fear, anger, resentment and hurt may be present and directed towards one another.

 Tempers may flare, feelings may get easily hurt, and individuals may be very defensive.

 Service Member

 Often training

 Bonding with unit members ( distancing themselves from family members).

 Making themselves battle ready ( includes emotionally separating from family to focus on war/ assignment)

 Children

-may act out in tantrums and poor behavior

-Research shows that the most stressful time for the child is pre- deployment

Younger children may not grasp full amount of time the parent will be gone, but can sense the family change which leads to negative reactions.

May take out anger non remaining parent at home

Youth may openly or covertly have anxiety and stress about their parents departure.
Couple Issues
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 Partners complain that service members are emotionally distant.

 Arguments occur due to high stress levels. Older couples these

arguments may be better tolerated compared to newer couples.

 Old unresolved arguments may resurface

 Sexual relationships

 Either extremely intimate or ambivalent during pre- deployment.

 Fears of infidelity while apart increase stress and feelings of

suspicion.

 Marriage

- Some service members rush to get married during this stage .

 Therapy During
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Pre-Deployment

 Great stigma for service members who seek mental health services.

 Unwritten Rule- discussion of feelings and emotions = weakness

 Attitudes changing on clinical services for military members. There is an increase on use of clinical services prior ,during and post
deployment.

 Military Websites and Veteran affairs websites now both advocate seeking counseling and share information about coping with
emotional issues

Here are some of the available resources:

 www.militaryonesource.com

 www.battlemind.org

 www.realwarriors.net

 www.va.gov
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Exploring Roles

 Role playing where each partner assumes the role of the other may
help increase empathy and understanding of each other’s
responsibilities while separated.

 Therapy sessions that discuss each partner’s expectations of one

another during deployment needs to be communicated.

 Open communication prior to deployment allows anticipation of each

other's behavior, emotions, and needs.
 Exploring Unresolved Conflicts
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 Therapy during this stage can improve functioning for the service member a war.

 This may be a salient point if the service member is less inclined then the partner to be
involved in therapy.

 “Tie- up loose ends”

 Helping the couple turn towards each other for support, rather than pulling away from
each other should be stressed in counseling during pre- deployment.

 Fear of infidelity needs to be addressed in therapy

- Addressing this fear, allows them to discuss it and their expectations of fidelity to each
other.
 Interventions Benefiting the Children
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 Activities that help express their emotions: feeling face cards, naming
cards and giving examples of when the emotion has occurred is helpful.

 Parenting practices that stress routine and provide opportunities for

family play should be advised.

 Important for the parents to not bring the older child into the “co-
parenting role”
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Deployment
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Early Deployment
Feelings of loss, abandonment, pain and disorganization are present.

Ambiguous loss

 Service member is physically absent, psychologically present.

 Attribute to undermine coping

 Blocks decision making of family members.

 Partner at home

 - may experience troubled sleeping / anxiety

 Increase vulnerability of depression / mental issues

 Affects on children
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Therapy For Partner

 Partner may be expressing stress, loneliness, anxiety or depression.

 Symptoms may be aggravated by increased work and responsibility, decreased sleep and economic stability.

 Functioning is improved with interventions that are strength- based that helps the partner learn how to reduce stress
and reframe problems.

 Techniques that have been found helpful:

-muscle relaxation

-Deep breathing techniques

-meditation

Cognitive behavior techniques that help partner come to realize where he/she is making thinking errors are also effective.
Children and Deployment
z children currently are living in a family where one or both parents are deployed.
Estimated that half- million

Young children can experience:

-crying
-refusing to eat
-bathroom accidents
-refusing to sleep alone
School age children may experience:
-whining
-complaining
-aggressive behavior
Teens can experience:
-irritability
-rebellion
-isolation from family or friends
-use of drugs/ alcohol
-become promiscuous
 Mid Deployment
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 Family begins to be more self- sufficient. Confidence is built in new roles.

 New routines and support systems are established.

Therapy

 Important to help them celebrate their resilience and growth.

Support Groups

 If living on or near a military base the partner may participate in a Family Readiness Group or as a Reservist family at the National
Guard Armories.

Family Readiness offers social support and networking.

Negative aspect : “Rumors”

Notorious for rumor mongering. Some instances rumors travel al the way to war zone where they can negatively affect the service
member.

When working with the family it is important to help them connect to organizations and groups that offer support.
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Late Deployment

 Family begins to feel:

Excitement, apprehension, and high expectations for the future.

Partner may have feelings of concern that they will need to relinquish their new found
independence once service member returns.

Therapy

 Set realistic expectations for reunification.

 Members can be asked to list areas where they have grown/ changed.

 Practitioners can help family anticipate that time is needed for the family system to
readjust.
 Service Member Away
 Those who have difficulties with separation from family may externalize their behaviors into anger and misbehavior.
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 During lengthy deployments members may be granted a week or two of leave. Some may return and reunite with the family for a short period. Others may not in
fear of reverting back to pre- deployment feelings of anger, hurt, and resentment.

 Those choosing not to go home can be interpreted negatively by the family.

 Prior to returning home:

Apprehension, excitement, high expectations, and worry.

Communication
- Keeping connected through deployment maintains stronger relationships.

Even though phone calls are short, they can boost morale for the family and the service member.

-Emails can filter out strong emotions and issues. Best choice for families where there are unresolved conflicts.

-Skype and other visual communication tools are offered at larger bases.

Therapy

-The partner may feel the need to speak of their inability to communicate in the ways they wish too.

-They may miss being able to talk to their partner about behavioral issues of their children, problematic issues at home, and health issues/ loneliness.

-Helping them find a support system helps them with the stresses of daily life and normalizes the experiences they are facing.
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Post- Deployment

 Family needs to begin to communicate and reconnect.

Service Member

 Service member may want to reassert their role in the family, however the family has learned to cope without their
daily input and may not be a smooth transition back to the old family organization.

 Some returning service members report feeling like a stranger in their own home which can be both harmful and
frustrating.

 Service Member may return with underlying physical or mental issues that will need to be addressed.
- Estimated that more than 300,000 service members suffer from Post Traumatic Stress Disorder.

- Estimated that 320,000 service members suffer from Traumatic Brain Disorder from the wars in Iraq and
Afghanistan.

 Prior to returning home, service members must go through physical and mental exams, but not all issues may be
visible at the time.

 Some members feel that if they share how they are feeling during discharge, it may delay their reunion with their
family or undermine their military career in the future.
Reunification with Children and Spouse
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 Children

 May not remember parent

 School age : May remain loyal to parent who

was at home.

 -May take months for reestablished bonds

 Spouse

-Honeymoon stage: ends after 1st argument.

-Connect physically but not fully emotionally for

some time.
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Therapy Directly Post- Deployment

 Discussion between family members about needs and

expectations. Service member remembers how the family
functioned before they left and cannot readily see the growth in
the family. The family is aware of the changes experienced over
the period of deployment. Also remember their service member
as he/she was prior to deployment.
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Creating Opportunities for Appreciation
and Caring

 Service member may have experienced horrible events during

deployment .

 Partner should try and understand the service member needs

time to heal. May not fully understand or appreciate what the
service member went through

 In therapy, helping the family understand why the service

member needs time alone/ with their unit to heal
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Post Traumatic Stress

 Post- Traumatic stress includes symptoms of emotional numbing, over startle

reflex, hyper- arouse, lack of impulse control and emotional explosiveness.

 Occurs more frequently in those who have been closest to combat, have
been injured or with someone injured.

 Therapy

Cognitive Behavioral Therapy – most effective method

- Battlemind Training

Family Focused Therapy- uses family as allies and supports returning service
member.
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Domestic Violence

 Returning services members with higher

levels of war related trauma and post-
traumatic stress have been found to have
decreased levels of family functioning and
increased in domestic violence compared
to those who haven’t experienced trauma
and post- traumatic stress.

 - unable to control his/ her emotions

 In therapy, issues of anger management

can be discussed. Interventions are used
and the teaching of de-escalating strong
intense feelings is taught.
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Divorce
 Returning service members with depression or
post- traumatic stress are 5 times more likely
to have problems readjusting to family life
than returning service members who do not
experience depression or post traumatic stress.

 Returning service members with post

traumatic stress are twice as likely to become
divorced than those who don’t have post-
traumatic stress.

 These statistics underscore the importance of

therapy for the returning service member and
their partner.
Suicide
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 Government doesn’t track suicide among veterans, anecdotal stories

suggest suicide is a significant concern for returning service members.

 Clinical social workers should assess if the returning service member

has suicidal ideation, suicidal intent and a suicide plan.

 Service member’s family should be educated about the particular signs

associated with suicidal behavior.
 Henry 25 and Maria 24, married for 6 years.
Case Study
 Highschool sweethearts
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 Henry just returned from second deployment which was 16 months.

 Have 2 children: Benji 5, and Laura 2.

Maria
 Struggled this deployment as a single parent and maintaining the home.

 Stressed, lonely, exhausted.

Henry
 During deployment was involved in accident. Many friends were hurt, one severely.

 Hasn’t shared feelings of anger and hatred with Maria.

 Normally cheerful, returned distant.

 Laura has no memory of him , wants Maria only. Benji constantly ask to play ball like Henry promised in phone calls, but Henry would

rather go out with his buddies from the unit.

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Case Discussion/ Therapy

Individual

-Henry’s experience of war related trauma should be evaluated to

determine if individual therapy for PTS or depression is needed apart
from couples and family therapy.

 Change of personality should be considered in evaluation

 Recommended that a clinical social worker that specializes in post-

traumatic stress be sought for the evaluation.
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Couple’s Therapy
 Couple can benefit from Maria becoming aware of the situation Henry faced, so she can understand the time
needed for him to heal.
Maria
Maria can understand Henry better and have more compassion.
Education can be given to Maria to assist her in supporting Henry through his healing.
Henry
Needs to understand Marias experience the last 16 months .

Both
Helping them both understand why they got married should be stressed.
Both need to learn how to communicate their appreciation of eachothe3r where the other can hear it.
 Need to articulate:

-Why they stay in their marriage

-What gives them strength in their relationship
-What needs to change ( what they they each want more of and less of).
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Family Therapy
 Needs to focus on strengthen
communication between all
members.

Organize a schedule :

 Family Time

 Couple Time

 Personal Time

Family needs time to get to know each

other again.

 Henry needs to make time to

reconnect with each member and
under the importance.

 Maria needs to all Henry the time

and flexibility for Henry to heal.
Peer Review Journal Article
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Authors: Ryan Holliday, Lauren M. Borges,

Kelly A. Stearns-Yoder, Adam S. Hoffberg1,
LisaA.Brenner and LindseyL.Monteith

A systematic review of research gathered

information on the rates of suicide and
posttraumatic stress disorders among military
a personal and veterans.

The gathered results suggest a link between

PTSD disorder and SI, SA, and suicide. These
results highlight the importance of PTSD
assessments when working with veterans and
those who have experienced trauma while also
screening for suicide ideation and suicide
attempt.
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Resources
 

 Holliday, R., Borges, L. M., Stearns-Yoder, K. A., Hoffberg, A. S., Brenner, L.

A., & Monteith, L. L. (2020). Posttraumatic Stress Disorder, Suicidal Ideation,
and Suicidal Self-Directed Violence Among U.S. Military Personnel and
Veterans: A Systematic Review of the Literature From 2010 to 2018. Frontiers
in Psychology, 11, 1–1998. https://doi.org/10.3389/fpsyg.2020.01998

 Laser, J. A., & Stephens, P. M. (2010). Working with Military Families Through
Deployment and Beyond. Clinical Social Work Journal, 39(1), 28–38.
https://doi.org/10.1007/s10615-010-0310-5