ENGLISH 1112E: TECHNICAL REPORT WRITING

GEFEN BAR-ON SANTOR

CARMELA COCCIMIGLIO

KJA ISAACSON
NEWTON ON HOW HE DISCOVERED TRUTH

“I keep the subject constantly before

me and wait till the first dawnings
open slowly, by little and little, into a
full and clear light.”

A reminder to choose a topic for your

report
TODAY’S WRITING PROBLEMS

1. Ambiguity

2. Vagueness

3. Wordiness
TODAY’S DOCUMENTS
 Emails

 Letters

Some brief tips on how to write them

WORKSHOP GROUPS
 Group A (last names begin A-D): with
Carmela Coccimiglio in Simard 428 (60
Université)

 Group B (last names begin E-M): with Kja

Isaacson in Morisset 219

 Group C (last names begin N-Z): stays in the

classroom with Gefen Bar-On Santor
AMBIGUITY
 From Latin word meaning undecided (B&M
60) [B&M is Beer and McMurrey’s textbook].

 An ambiguous word has different possible

meanings.
REMEMBER
 The pronouns “it” and “they” are often a
source of ambiguity.

 When you write “it” or “they,” make sure it is

clear what the pronoun refers to.
AMBIGUOUS: IDENTIFY THE PROBLEM

The microprocessor interfaced directly with the

7055 RAM chip. It runs at 5MHz.

(B&M 61)
AMBIGUOUS: WHAT DOES “IT” REFER TO?

The microprocessor interfaced directly with the

7055 RAM chip. It runs at 5MHz.

(B&M 61)
AMBIGUITY RESOLVED
 The microprocessor interfaced directly with
the 7055 RAM chip. The 7055 runs at 5 MHz.

Generally, word repetition should be avoided,

unless repetition is necessary to avoid ambiguity.
WHAT IS UNCLEAR?

Before accepting materials from the new

subcontractors, we should make sure they
meet our requirements.
WHAT IS UNCLEAR?

Before accepting materials from the new

subcontractors, we should make sure they
meet our requirements.
AMBIGUITY RESOLVED

Before we accept them, we should make sure the

materials from the new subcontractors meet
our requirements.
AMBIGUOUS MODIFIERS

After testing at the high temperatures, the

company accepted the new chip (B&M 61).

What is confusing?
DANGLING MODIFIERS

After testing at the high temperatures, the

company accepted the new chip (B&M 61).

The blue text seems to modify the red, as if the

company was put to the test.

In fact, the chip was put to the test.

AMBIGUITY REMOVED

The company accepted the new chip after it

tested out at the specified high temperatures.
Being such a good writer, I would appreciate your feedback.

I would appreciate your feedback because you are such a

good writer.

Next: sometimes ambiguity is a good thing . . .

IN LITERATURE . . .

Ambiguity can be rich and rewarding.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gSoUf8hFxP0
WHO IS THE FATHER?

QUEEN
  Hamlet, thou hast thy father much offended.

HAMLET
 Mother, you have my father much offended.
BUT IN TECHNICAL WRITING . . .

“Your sentences must convey a single meaning

with no room for interpretation or
misunderstanding. If your readers . . . enjoy
different connotation and levels of meaning,
they can read poetry” (B&M 60).
VAGUENESS

What is the difference between vagueness and

ambiguity?
Ambiguity: more than one meaning is possible
(each meaning is clear, but not clear which one
applies).

Vagueness: the meaning is unclear, not precise

enough.
WHAT’S THE PROBLEM?

The Robotics group is several weeks behind

schedule.
VAGUENESS IS UNPROFESSIONAL

The Robotics group is several weeks behind

schedule.

The Robotics group is seven weeks behind

schedule.
USE PRECISE FIGURES

Vague: The CF533 runs faster than the RG562

but is much more expensive.

Precise and professional: The CF553 runs 84%

faster than the RG562 but costs $2840 more than
the CF553.
VAGUENESS: A CHALLENGE IN MEDICINE

Vague: The patient has high fever.

Precise: The patient has a 40-degree fever.

Patient: I feel chest pain.

What is your challenge as a physician?

QUALITY OF THE PAIN?

What exactly are you feeling? Is the pain sharp,

numb, throbbing?

The McGill pain index: a scale of rating pain, by

asking patients to choose words that describe
their pain.
AN ETHICAL DILEMMA

How vague or precise should doctors be with

dying patients when discussing their condition?
ELISABETH MACDONALD’S DIFFICULT CONVERSATIONS IN
MEDICINE

 Some believe that dying is a part of life and

patients deserve precise information.

 Others believe that precision about dying is

unnecessary cruelty.
YOUR REPORTS

Make sure that your topic is not vaguely defined.

My topic is: HIV

Suggest a more precise topic

FIND A SPECIFIC FOCUS
Origin of HIV

HIV Treatments

Combating HIV in Africa/Russia

The Early years of HIV in the USA

AIDS denial
VAGUENESS IN SUMMER JOB APPLICATIONS

I have many years of experience in several fields.

I can adapt my skills to a variety of situations.

Instead: describe your skills in relation to

specific experiences.
STOPPING BY WOODS ON A SNOWY EVENING

Enjoy the vagueness . . .

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dHHYZupZd
K8&feature=related
STOPPING BY WOODS ON A SNOWY EVENING

Whose woods these are I think I know.

His house is in the village, though;
He will not see me stopping here
To watch his woods fill up with snow. My little
horse must think it queer
To stop without a farmhouse near
Between the woods and frozen lake
The darkest evening of the year.
He gives his harness bells a shake
To ask if there is some mistake.
The only other sound's the sweep
Of easy wind and downy flake.

The woods are lovely, dark and deep.

But I have promises to keep,
And miles to go before I sleep,
And miles to go before I sleep.
Robert Frost
FROST IN TECHNICAL WRITING
 I think I know how to operate this equipment

 The new road will go for miles and miles . . .

Not so brilliant . . .
WORDINESS
 Cluttering your writing with unnecessary
words.

 Wordiness creates “noise.”

 Avoid “words that call attention to themselves

without contributing to meaning” (B&M 64)
ALWAYS ASK YOURSELF
 Have I used any words that are implied (and
can therefore be deleted)?
IDENTIFY “NOISY” WORDS

The location of the experiment robotics

laboratory is in room 212A.
IDENTIFY “NOISY” WORDS

The location of the experiment robotics

laboratory is in room 212A.

The experiment robotics lab is in 212A.

EFFICIENT WORDING: B&M P. 66, BUCKLEY 379

For example:

A large number of many

In the event of if
The reason why is that because
Due to the fact that because
With regards to about
EDIT DEPECHE MODE

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=V7eR7AqvUk
I

Find the unnecessary word—fine in song lyrics,

but should rarely appear in reports
ENJOY THE SILENCE

Words are very unnecessary; they

can only do harm
WHICH IS STRONGER?

 The experiment was very successful.

 The experiment was successful.

WHO MADE THIS PROMISE?

Since brevity is the soul of wit

And tediousness the limbs and outward
flourishes,
I will be brief
BEWARE OF “IT IS” “THERE IS”

“Often these constructions create excess words”

(Buckley 380).

It is common to find young doctors who suffer

from fatigue.

“It is” is wordy and indirect

Rewrite?
SUBJECT FIRST

Young doctors often suffer from fatigue.

COLOURLESS VERBS

Weak verbs that often create wordiness:

Is/are

Was/were

Has/have/has
(Buckley 380)
HOW TO GET RID OF A WEAK VERB?

The budget proposal before the legislature is to

do with tax cuts (Buckley 380).
RECOMMENDS: STRONGER VERB

The budget proposal before the legislature

recommends tax cuts.
REDUNDANCY
 Using words that say the same thing.
 Examples: B&M, page 67

Collaborate together collaborate

Component part component (or part)
Completely eliminate eliminate
EMAILS: SOME BASIC PRINCIPLES

What are the advantages and disadvantages of

emails?
EMAILS: ADVANTAGES AND DISADVANTAGES

 Fast, efficient, global.

 Might encourage sloppiness.

 Might discourage interpersonal communications.

 Differences in email habits can create resentment.

SUGGESTIONS
 Use email, but if your email communication
does not produce the desired outcome, use
inter-personal communication.

 Professional emails should be carefully edited,

just like any other workplace document.
EMAIL SALUTATIONS

 
 Hey there professor Jolie,
 Hi Professor Jolie,
 Hello Professor Jolie,
 Dear Professor Jolie,
 Professor Jolie,
SIGNATURES
 Sincerely,
 Best regards,
 Thanks,
 Many thanks,
 All the best,
 Cheers,
AN ANGRY EMAIL

Can’t you guys full a simple order correctly?

On October 5 I ordered eight spigots and 6
shut-off valves and you know what you sent
me? 6 spigshots and eight valves!
 
(Blicq and Moretto 50)
MUCH BETTER . . .
I am asking you to correct errors in an order shipped
to me on February 7.
 
My purchase order no. 2128 of February 5 specified
we required the following:
 
 8 spigshots, No. 34116-3B

 
 6 shut-off valves with reverse thread, No. 21360-2A
IMPROVED (CONTINUED)
However, on October 7 I receive the following (see you shop order
No. 39273):
 
 6 spigshots, No. 34116-3B

 
 8 shut-off valves, No. 21300-2A

 
Please ship two additional spigshots to us, and inform us how you
want us to return the two extra shut-off valves.

 Jim Hatley
 LETTERS: PYRAMID WRITING STRUCTURE
http://www.rgilearning.com/pyramid_writing.htm
THE HERO SPEAKS

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=IvTT29cavKo

Reflect on the connection between letter writing

strategies and heroic speech . . .
DO NOT . . .

Start with a word that ends in “ing”

Referring to your letter . . .

Replying to your letter . . .

DO NOT

start with a phrase that end with the preposition

“to”

With reference to . .
In answer to . . .
Due to . . .
DO NOT
start with redundant expressions

I am writing . . .

For your information . . .

This is to inform you . . .

The purpose of this letter is . . .

We have received your letter . . .

Enclosed please find . . .

My name is . . .
AN ENGAGING BEGINNING: CONVEYS INTEREST AND CARE

Dear Ben,
 
I read your report with interest and agree with
all but one of your recommendations.
AVOID WORDS THAT ANTAGONISE

You have failed to include receipts with your

expense report.
 
PROBLEM VERB

You have failed to include receipts with your

expense report.
BETTER

You did not include receipts with your expense

report.
 
OR

Please send receipts as soon as possible to

support your expense report.
MODELS FOR FUTURE REFERENCE
 Use B&M chapter 4 for letter formats and
more tips.

 Buckley, page 81: memo