WRITING LOGICAL AND

EFFECTIVE SENTENCES
WIRYONO
Logical and effective sentences
• A sentence: a word or a group of words that expresses a
complete idea by giving a statement/order, or asking a
question, or exclaiming.
• A sentence consist of at least one subject and one verb. The
subject can be hidden, but the verb must be visible and
present in the sentence. 
• A logical sentence is one that does not contain illogical
statements.
• An effective sentence is one that conveys the point we
want to make clearly and persuasively to our readers.
 Follow the rules of grammar;
How to
write Make logical statements;
logical and
effective Write clearly and concisely;
sentences?
Vary the sentence types, lengths and styles.
Avoid comma splices.
• Incorrect (IC): Many women want to look beautiful,
they spend a lot of money to buy beauty products.
• Correct (C): Many women want to look beautiful.
They spend a lot of money to buy beauty products.
• C: Many women want to look beautiful; they spend
a lot of money to buy beauty products.
• C: Many women want to look beautiful, so they
spend a lot money to buy beauty products.
• C: Because they want to look beautiful, many
women spend a lot of money to buy beauty
products.
• C: Many women spend a lot of money to buy beauty
products, for they want to look beautiful.
• C: Wanting to look beautiful, many women spend
they money to buy beauty products.

Correct or incorrect?
• Many women want to look beautiful, therefore,
they spend a lot of money to buy beauty products.
• IC: Many women want to look beautiful, therefore,
they spend a lot of money to buy beauty products.

• C: Many women want to look beautiful; therefore,

they spend a lot of money to buy beauty products.

• C: Many women want to look beautiful. Therefore,

they spend a lot of money to buy beauty products.
• IC: There are many big cities in Indonesia, Jakarta is the
biggest one.
• C: There are many big cities in Indonesia. Jakarta is the
biggest one.
• C: There are many big cities in Indonesia; Jakarta is the
biggest one.
• C: There are many big cities in Indonesia, with Jakarta being
the biggest one.
• C: There are many big cities in Indonesia, the biggest one
being Jakarta.
 Rule: a comma cannot separate two independent
clauses, except for short and parallel sentences and
for independent clauses considered as items on a list.

• I came, I saw, I conquered.

• The men were in the kitchen preparing lunch, the
women in the living room watching TV, and the
children were outside playing.
Avoid dangling modifiers.
• IC: After examining the results of statistical
analyses, it can be concluded that many
factors influenced agriculture production.

C: After examining the results of statistical

analyses, we concluded that many factors
influenced agriculture production.
• IC: As responsible citizens, our duty is to make
positive contributions to the advancement of
our country.

• C: As responsible citizens, we have to make

positive contributions to the advancement of our
country.
Avoid illogical inferences.
• Illogical: Based on Table 1, most villagers are
farmers.
Fact: Most villagers are farmers even if there is no Table
1. Logical: Based on Table 1, we know that most
villagers are farmers.
• Logical : Table 1 shows that most villagers are
farmers.
Avoid inaccurate conclusion.
• Incorrect: Fertilization had an impact on increasing
the plant growth rate.
• Correct:
• A. Fertilization had an impact on the plant growth
rate.
• B. Fertilization increased the plant growth rate.
• Incorrect: Fertilization influenced the growth rate of
plants differently. (Except if there is interaction
between factors.)

We did not compare the influence of fertilization but

the growth rate.

• A. The growth rate of fertilized plants was

significantly different from that of control. (Result)
• B. Fertilization significantly influenced the plant
growth rate. (Inference)
• Incorrect: Fertilization increased plant growth rate
greater compared to control.

We did not compare the increase of growth rate, but

the growth rate.
• Correct:
• A. The fertilized plants had a higher growth rate
than the control. (result)
• B. Fertilization increased the plant growth rate.
(inference)
Avoid illogical comparisons.
• Men and women share many common feelings, but unlike
men who often show their feelings, the feelings of women
are not explicitly shown.
• Men and women share many common feelings, but unlike
men who often show their feelings, women often hide their
feelings.
• Indonesia has more local languages than the local
languages of the Philippines.
• Indonesia has more local languages than the Philippines.
Place modifiers close to the word they
modify.
• The election, due to a big flood that destroyed houses and
caused many casualties, was delayed. (The election was
delayed due to …)
• The students only copied a short paragraph of a text book.
(The did not modify it.)
• The students copied only a short paragraph from a
textbook. (They did not copy the long paragraphs.)
• The students copied a short paragraph only from a
textbook. (They did not copy from other sources.)
• Only the students copied a short paragraph from a
textbook. (The teachers did not .)
Avoid sentence fragments.
• The male respondents had low education level and,
consequently, had low knowledge of conservation
issues. While, female respondents had intermediate
education level, so they had higher knowledge of
conservation issues than the male respondents.

• The male respondents had low education level,

while the female respondents had intermediate
education level, so the female respondents had
better knowledge of conservation issues than the
male respondents.
Maintain parallelism among
sentence elements.
• Unparalleled (U): Unfortunately, the measurement
of tree biomass in urban forests using a destructive
method requires expensive cost and long-time
consuming.

• Paralleled (P): Unfortunately, the measurement of

tree biomass in urban forests using a destructive
method is expensive and time-consuming.
• U: Urban forest provides environmental services for
urban areas, that include biodiversity conservation
and their ability to store carbon.
• P: Urban forest provides environmental services for
urban areas, including biodiversity conservation and
carbon sequestration.

• U: The price of a bird is determined by its attractive

color and whether it can sing beautifully.
• P: The price of a bird is determined by the
attractiveness of its color and its ability to sing
beautifully. (..attractiveness of its color and singing).
Use pronouns correctly.
• Every body must bring their id card.
• Formal: Every body must bring his or her id card.
• The men told the women that they must finish their
work on time.
• Revised:
A. The men told the women to finish their work on
time.
B. The men told the women, “We must finish our
work on time.”
Be clear about the subject of the verb.
• IC: The respondents were recorded their age and
gender.
• C: The age and gender of respondents were
recorded.

• IC: Based on its diameter and height could be

calculated the volume of the tree.
• C: Based on its diameter and height, the volume of
the tree could be calculated.
Write clearly and concisely.

• Wordy: The amazing wealth of fauna in this

conservation forest requires commensurate
management efforts, both in the form of rescue and
management.
• Concise: The rich fauna in this conservation forest
must be protected and managed properly.
• Wordy: The Philippines is a country that is widely
known by people with a high level of biodiversity
with the potential for natural wealth that is very
abundant and widespread throughout the
archipelago and is located in the tropics.

• Concise: The Philippines is a tropical country widely

known to have a high biodiversity as an abundant
natural resource, widespread throughout the
archipelago.
• Wordy: However, water supplies for fish
cultivation are susceptible to poor water
quality because they are vulnerable to
uncontrolled waste and pollutant disposals
from various anthropogenic activities.

• Concise: However, water supplies for fish

cultivation are susceptible to pollution from
uncontrolled waste disposal from various
human activities.
• Wordy: The condition of patient was hungry,
tired and weak.
• Concise: The patient was hungry, tired and
weak.

• Wordy and inaccurate: The existence of urban

forest can reduce air pollution.
• Concise and accurate: The urban forest can
reduce air pollution.
• Wordy: It is essential that every religious group in
Indonesia be protected by the Indonesian
government.
• Concise: Indonesian government must protect every
religious group in Indonesia.

• Wordy: In spite of the fact that Indonesia is rich in

natural resources, many Indonesians cannot afford
to live a decent life.
• Concise: Although Indonesia is rich in natural
resources, many Indonesians are poor.
• Wordy: Swamp forest has decreased, both in
terms of decreasing the quality of the function
of the swamp ecosystem and the quantity in
the form of a decrease in the area of ​the
swamp forest.
• Concise: The area and function of swamp
forest have decreased.
• Concise: The swamp forest area and function
have decreased.
Combine short sentences.
• This species of bird is now rare. The reason for this is
because many people have trapped this bird and sold it
in the markets.
• This species of bird is now rare because many people
have trapped and sold it in the markets.
• The research was carried out in a small village in North
Bengkulu Regency. North Bengkulu Regency is located
in Bengkulu Province.
• The research was carried out in a small village in North
Bengkulu regency, Bengkulu Province.
Use ellipsis (omission of repeated words).
• Most male respondents worked in local government
offices and most female respondents worked in
industry.
• Most male respondents worked in local government
offices and most female respondents, in industry.
• We interviewed 4 key informants, i.e., Mr. Budi who
represented the farmers, Ms. Rina the government
officials, Mr. Bambang the religious leaders , and Ms.
Sinta the traditional healers.
Vary the sentence types and lengths.
• Simple sentence: Javanese is the biggest ethnic group in
Indonesia.
• Compound sentence: Although Javanese is the biggest
ethnic group in Indonesia, the Javanese agree to accept
Indonesian as the national language.
• Complex sentence: Javanese is the biggest ethnic group in
Indonesia, which has more than 300 ethnic groups.
• Compound-complex sentence: Although Javanese is the
biggest ethnic group in Indonesia, which has more than 300
ethnic groups, the Javanese agree to accept Indonesian as
the national language.
Vary the sentence structure.
• Because they are poor and uneducated, they have
little concern for environmental problems.
• Being poor and uneducated, they have little
concern for environmental problems.
• Poor and uneducated, they have little concern for
environmental problems.
• Having little money and education, they have little
concern for environmental problems.
• Due to their poverty and low education level,
they have little concern for environmental
problems.
• They have little concern for environmental
problems, for they are poor and uneducated.
• They have little concern for environmental
problems since they are poor and uneducated.
• They have little concern for environmental
problems because of their poverty and low
education level.
Write sentences using only the structure
and vocabulary you master.

• Don’t speculate using sophisticated structure

and vocabulary you don’t really understand.

• You may check the correctness of your

sentence structure using a grammar
application, or check the prevalence of your
sentence structure and vocabulary using a
web browser.
Use grammar applications carefully.
• Grammar applications help us correct misspellings and small
grammatical errors.
• Sometimes, however, they do not detect grammatical
mistakes.
• They do not recognize scientific names in biology.
• They do not know the scientific truth of the writing.
• Grammar applications are only tools. They give suggestions,
but the final decision should be made by the writer.