INTERPERSONAL

ATTRACTION &
RELATIONSHIPS
PSY112
What is interpersonal attraction?
 The desire to a_______ another individual
 Need for Affiliation

Basic motive to seek and m______ interpersonal

relationships

 Two factors that shape affiliation:

 Social comparison
 Social exchange
Social Comparison

 Social comparison theory (Festinger 1954)-

we evaluate our thoughts and a_____ by
comparing them with those of others

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Social Comparison
 Festinger (1954): when we are in s state of u_________, we
seek out those who are similar/going through similar situations

 Seek them out to:

 Communicate
 Compare perceptions
 Make decisions
 Achieve cognitive & emotional clarity
Social Exchange Theory (Berscheid & Lopes, 1997)
We seek out and maintain
relationships where the
r_______ exceed the costs
 Hedonist

 Attracted to those who

reward us
Social Exchange Theory (Berscheid & Lopes, 1997)
 Homans (1958)
 Each party places value on goods they exchange

e.g., Doing laundry vs washing the car

 People keep track of these exchanges
 Terminate relationship when costs exceed r_______
Social Exchange Theory (Berscheid & Lopes, 1997)
 Thibaut & Kelley (1959)
 Compare rewards & costs in current relationship with available
alternatives
 No alternatives/none appreciably more rewarding  S____ in
relationship
Factors Influencing Attraction
 Situational factors
 Proximity
 Familiarity
 Characteristics of others
 Physical attractiveness
 Similarity
 Complementarity
 Reciprocal liking
 Self-disclosure
Proximity

P_______ distance between individuals

 Being close in proximity to others increases likelihood
of relationships forming
 Proximity
 James Bossard (1932) researched marriage
licenses in Philadelphia

 1/3 of all marriage licenses issued in

Philadelphia for couples who lived within 3
blocks of each other.
 “Cupid may have wings,
but apparently they are not
 50% of all such licenses were issued to adapted for long flights”
couples who lived within twenty blocks of (Bossard, 1932, pp. 222)
each other.
Familiarity

Frequency of actual contact with

individuals
 M _ _ _ exposure effect
 Repeated exposure can increase favorable
evaluations if exposure is positive
 Direct contact not necessary
 Advertising (e.g., Campbell & Keller, 2003)
 Celebrities
 Online interactions This Photo by Unknown Author is licensed under CC BY-NC-ND
 Physical Attractiveness
 Physical attractiveness stereotype
 Physically attractive individuals possess socially
desirable traits and lead happier lives compared
to those less attractive
 “What is beautiful is g_____” effect (Dion,
Berscheid, & Hatfield, 1972)
 Sociable, successful, warm, mentally healthy, happy
intelligent
 Self fulfilling prophecy
Physical Attractiveness
 Teachers judge attractive students as more intelligent than unattractive
students (Clifford & Walster, 1973)
 Adults and nurses in pediatric wards punish unattractive children more
harshly than attractive children (Dion, 1974)
 Texas judges set lower bails and smaller fines for attractive suspects
(Downs & Lyons, 1991)

 Attractive people make more money (Hamermesh & Biddle, 1994) and get better
job ratings from bosses (Hosoda et al., 2003)
 Attractive infants & children evaluated more positively, where negative
behaviors more likely to be dismissed as atypical (Casey & Ritter, 1996; Dion, 1972)
Similarity

B_____ of a feather flock together?

Tend to seek out others who are similar in:
 Demographic factors
 Attitudes
 Physical attractiveness
Demographic factors
 Friendship development among high school students
 A__
 Sex
 Race
 Year in school
 Romantic relationships
Attitudes
 Greater the proportion
of similar attitudes, the
greater the attraction
to one another (Brynne et
al.,1965)

 Most important
(similarity)
determinant of
attraction (Gaunt, 2006;
Montoya & Horton, 2004)
Physical attractiveness
 We are attracted to those who m______ us in physical
attractiveness
 Estimate same social exchange value

 Less rejection

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Matching Hypothesis
 People are attracted to people who are similar to them in
particular characteristics

 Long-term relationships/marriages are most likely to form

with:
 Those who share our similar attributes
 Those who are similar to us in physical attractiveness
Social comparison
 When others share our views, it makes us feel better
 Validation of self-beliefs

 Negative feelings caused by those who d______ with us

Evolution
 Similarity cues used to detect those who are genetically
similar to us
 Increases chances for genes to pass on to the next g_________
 Similar others mimic familiarity
 Complementarity

 “Opposites attract”?
 Traits in potential partners

that complement (add to

what is missing in) their own
traits
Complementarity
 Perceived dissimilarity preferred when people are looking for
“f_______”/low commitment (Amodio & Showers, 2005)

 Long term relationships – might be dissimilar on certain

respects, but share fundamental similarities (Chen & Kenrick, 2002;
Singh & Ho, 2000)
 Complementarity
(Sprecher et al, 1994)

 Men prefer:
 Younger women
 Youth signify beauty

 Women prefer:
 O_____ men
 Maturity signify higher social
status
 Looks-for-status exchange
Complementarity
Evolutionary Perspective (Buss & Schmidt, 1993)
Factors that increases chances of genes being passed on to the
next generation
Men Women
 Highly selective due to biological
 Seek young and & physically limitations
attractive women  Prefer men who possess (potential)

 Younger women signifies economic resources

 Willing to commit those resources to her
health & reproductive f_____ offspring
 Attracted to older & financially secure men
Reciprocal Liking
 If we know someone like us, we tend to like them
back (and vice versa)(Dittes & Kelley, 1956)
 When targets believed perceivers liked them, they had better attitude
towards them and disagreed less
 S_____-fulfilling prophecy:
 If we think others like us, we act in ways that increase their liking towards
us
 Self-Disclosure
Willingness to share information
about oneself & one’s feelings to
another person (e.g. Collins & Miller, 1994;
Cvetkovich & Lofstedt, 1999)
 Increases liking
 Builds t_____ & rapport
 More likely to reveal more to
trusted others
Intimate relationships
Types of Love – Sternberg’s Triangular Theory of
Love
Liking
(Intimacy)

R________ Love Consummat Companionate Love

(Intimacy + Passion) (Intimacy + Commitment)
e Love
(Intimacy +
Passion +
Commitment)
Infatuation Empty Love
(Passion) Fatuous Love (Commitment)
(Passion + Commitment)
Passionate Love

Characterized by intense emotional & physical feelings for another

person
 Feeling of being “in love”

 Infatuation
 Physiological changes:
 Rapid heartbeat, shortness of breath
 Heightened physiological arousal
 Engages dopamine-pathways
 Increases in o________
 Passionate Love
 Involves sexual attraction but accompanied by strong emotional
arousal
 Desire to be physically close
 Intense need to be loved just as much
 Elation when reciprocated; jealousy, desperation when not returned
 Recurring fear that relationship will e _ _
 Passionate Love

Dutton and Aron (1974)

Companionate Love
 “The affection we feel for those with whom our
lives are deeply entwined” (Hatfield, 1988, p. 205)

 Affection felt for those with whom we share

friendship, attraction, interests, respect, and concern
 Companionate Love

 Deep & secure feelings not accompanied by frenzied,

passionate, physical feelings
 Common in relationships that were once passionate (e.g.,
long-lasting marriages)
 May still be sexually involved without experiencing same
intensity
 Lasting relationships depend more on these stable, secure
feelings than the intense, fiery feelings experienced in
early stages
Characteristics of Healthy Relationships

 Equity
 Ratio of costs & rewards similar for both partners (Adams, 1965)
 Unbalanced relationships lead to dissatisfaction/unhappiness
Characteristics of Healthy Relationships
 P_______ illusions
 Those who see virtues in their partner that their partners
cannot see in themselves tend to be happier (Murray & Holmes, 1999)

 Tend to attribute partner’s positive behaviors to dispositional

causes, and negative behaviors to situational causes
 Self-fulfilling prophecy

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 Characteristics of Healthy Relationships
 Communication
 Happy couples a_______ more constructively & recognize validity of other’s
perspective/feelings (Koren et al., 1980)

 Couples fight, but are able to reconcile

differences & find balance between conflict
and affection (Gottmann, 1998)

 Couples who show empathic accuracy when

determining their partner’s thoughts/feelings
are more satisfied
Characteristics of Healthy Relationships

 Social support
 Partner support related to
 Decrease in stress
 Increase in physical health & happiness
 Increase in satisfaction & commitment
(Coyne et al., 2001; Dehle et al., 2001; Feeney, 2004)
 Characteristics of Healthy Relationships
 Forgiveness
 A conscious, deliberate decision to release feelings of resentment or
vengeance toward a person or group who has harmed you, regardless of
whether they actually deserve your forgiveness
 Forgiveness can keep troubled relationships going (McCullough et al., 1997)

 Commitment
 The wish or intention to stay in a relationship
 Higher commitment predicts relationship satisfaction & trust (Kurdek, 2000;
Wieselquist et al., 1999)
 Trust predicts relationship s________