HOW DO YOU LOVE DIFFICULT PEOPLE?

TRUE LOVE VS. COUNTERFEIT LOVE

UNCONDITIONAL BASED ON FEELINGS
COMMITMENT
TOWARDS IMPERFECT PEOPLE PERFECT PEOPLE (FANTASY)

SEEKS THE HIGHEST GOOD SELF-CENTERED

REQUIRES SACRIFICE PERSONAL PLEASURE

HONORS GOD HONORS SELF

 HOW DIFFICULT ARE YOU?
• DIFFERENT IDEAS/OPINIONS : IRRITATED WITH MINOR THINGS
• OVER-SENSITIVE; REACT QUICKLY
• MOODY
• NEGATIVE MINDED
• CRITICAL / JUDGMENTAL
• EASILY ANGERED / SHORT TEMPERED
• ENEMIES
WHEN LOVE IS
DIFFICULT
Love like CHRIST
 E.G.R.
EXTRA GRACE REQUIRED
 KEY VERSES:
• Luke 6:27-28
• 27 “But I say to you who hear, love your enemies, do good
to those who hate you,
• 28 bless those who curse you, pray for those who mistreat
you.
 KEY VERSES:
• Luke 6: 31-34
• 31 “Treat others the same way you want them to treat you.
• 32 If you love those who love you, what credit is that to you? For
even sinners love those who love them.
• 33 If you do good to those who do good to you, what credit is that to
you? For even sinners do the same.
• 34 And if you lend to those from whom you expect to receive, what
credit is that to you? Even sinners lend to sinners in order to receive
back the same amount.
 KEY VERSES

• Luke 6:35
• But love your enemies and do good, and lend,
expecting nothing in return; and your reward will be
great, and you will be sons of the Most High; for He
Himself is kind to the ungrateful and evil people.
 TO LOVE
DIFFICULT
PEOPLE
LEARN TO LOVE
LIKE CHRIST
 LOVE LIKE C.H.R.I.S.T.
• C hoice
•H
•R
•I
•S
•T
 LUKE 6:27-28

• 27 “But I say to you who hear, love your enemies, do good to those
who hate you,
• 28 bless those who curse you, pray for those who mistreat you.
TRUE LOVE IS A CHOICE, IT IS NOT BASED
ON FEELINGS.
 WHAT IS HYPOCRISY?
• the pretense or affectation of having virtues,
principles, or beliefs that one does not actually have
(Merriam-Webster dictionary)
• Knowing something that is right and not doing it
because you are following your feelings.
 NOT EVERY
EFFORT AT LOVING
DIFFICULT PEOPLE
WILL HAVE A
POSITIVE ENDING…
WE DON’T LOVE
PEOPLE IN HOPES
OF A HAPPY
ENDING. WE LOVE
THEM BECAUSE
IT’S THE RIGHT
THING TO DO.-
DOUG MCINTOSH
 TRUE LOVE IS NEVER GOVERNED BY
FEELINGS.

- THE HEART IS THE MOST DECEITFUL OF

ALL THINGS AND BEYOND CURE. WHO CAN
UNDERSTAND IT? (JEREMIAH 17:9)
 LOVE LIKE C.H.R.I.S.T.
• C hoice
• H abit
•R
•I
•S
•T
 WHAT ARE YOUR HABITS?

• Requires ACTION.
• Examine your habits.
• Our habits will become our lifestyle.
 LUKE 6:27-28

• 27 “But I say to you who hear, love your

enemies, do good to those who hate you,
• 28 bless those who curse you, pray for
those who mistreat you.
HAVE YOU DEVELOPED HABITS IN LOVING
PEOPLE?
 THE POWER OF PRACTICE TO BECOME A
HABIT

• 1 Corinthians 9: 26-27
• 26 Therefore I run in such a way as not to run aimlessly; I box in
such a way, as to avoid hitting air;
• 27 but I strictly discipline my body and make it my slave, so that
after I have preached others, I myself will not be disqualified.
DO YOU WANT TO BE A LOVING
CHRISTIAN?

YOU PRACTICE.
•HURT PEOPLE , HURT PEOPLE.
•EMPTY PEOPLE, EMPTY
PEOPLE.
PRACTICE A HABIT OF LOVING IMPERFECT
PEOPLE.

PRACTICE A HABIT OF FORGIVING PEOPLE.

 LOVE LIKE C.H.R.I.S.T.
• C hoice
• H abit
• R each out
•I
•S
•T
•“Treat others the same way you
want them to treat you.”
•-Jesus Christ (Luke 6:31)
 • “Treat others the same way you want them to treat you.”
• -Jesus Christ (Luke 6:31)

“What you do not want done to yourself, do not do to others”

-Confucius
 WHAT IS THE DIFFERENCE?
“What you do not want done to yourself, do not do to others”
-Confucius

PASSIVE; SELFISH ACT; YOUR BENEFITS FIRST ; FOCUSES ON

THE NEGATIVE….
“TREAT OTHERS THE SAME WAY YOU WANT THEM TO TREAT YOU.”
-JESUS CHRIST (LUKE 6:31)

• Matthew 7:12
• So in everything, do to others what you would have them do to you…

• ACTIVE; SELFLESS ACT, TAKING CARE OF OTHERS NEEDS,

FOCUSES ON THE POSITIVE….
• At no other time in the history of Christianity
did love so characterize the entire church as it
did in the first three centuries. And Roman
society took note. Tertullian reported that the
Romans would exclaim, “See how they love one
another!”
• Justin Martyr sketched Christian love this way: “We who
used to value the acquisition of wealth and possessions more
than anything else now bring what we have into a common
fund and share it with anyone who needs it. We used to hate
and destroy one another and refused to associate with people
of another race or country. Now, because of Christ, we live
together with such people and pray for our enemies.”
• Clement, describing the person who has come to
know God, wrote, “He impoverishes himself out of
love, so that he is certain he may never overlook a
brother in need, especially if he knows he can bear
poverty better than his brother. He likewise considers
the pain of another as his own pain. And if he suffers
any hardship because of having given out of his own
poverty, he does not complain.
• When a devastating plague swept across the ancient
world in the third century, Christians were the only
ones who cared for the sick, which they did at the risk
of contracting the plague themselves. Meanwhile,
pagans were throwing infected members of their own
families into the streets even before they died, in
order to protect themselves from the disease.
•As one Christian told the Romans, “We
love one another with a mutual love
because we do not know how to hate.”
If Christians today made such a
statement to the world, would the world
believe it?
• The love of the early Christians wasn’t limited simply to
their fellow believers. Christians also lovingly helped non-
believers: the poor, the orphans, the elderly, the sick, the
shipwrecked, even their persecutors. Jesus had said, “Love
your enemies … and pray for those who spitefully use you
and persecute you” (Matt. 5:44). The early Christians
accepted this statement as a command from their Lord,
rather than as an ideal that couldn’t be actually practiced in
real life.
• It’s no wonder that Christianity spread
rapidly throughout the ancient world, even
though there were few organized
missionary or evangelism programs. The
love they practiced drew the attention of the
world, just as Jesus said it would.
FOR JESUS CHRIST, IT IS NOT ENOUGH TO
SIMPLY AVOID DOING HARM TO YOUR
FELLOW.

YOU NEED TO GO ABOVE AND BEYOND

WHAT IS REQUIRED.
 LUKE 6:32-34
• 32 If you love those who love you, what credit is that to
you? For even sinners love those who love them.
• 33 If you do good to those who do good to you, what credit
is that to you? For even sinners do the same.
• 34 And if you lend to those from whom you expect to
receive, what credit is that to you? Even sinners lend to
sinners in order to receive back the same amount.
ARE YOU REACHING OUT OTHERS?

ANSWER HATRED WITH LOVE.

 LOVE LIKE C.H.R.I.S.T.
• C hoice
• H abit
• R each out
• I nspect Yourself
•S
•T
• Matthew 7:3-4
• 3 why do you look at the speck that is in your
brother’s eye, but do not notice the log that is in your
own eye?
• 4 or how can you say to your brother, ‘Let me take
the speck out of your eye,’ and look, the log is in your
eye?
 ARE YOU DIFFICULT TO LIVE WITH?

• Do you have a short fuse?

• Do people have to tiptoe around you?
• Do you react negatively in an easy manner?
 THE TRUTH IS…

• We are all difficult to live with especially if we do not have the Holy Spirit living inside us.
• Always examine yourself and to always be controlled by the HOLY SPIRIT.
 LOVE LIKE C.H.R.I.S.T.
• C hoice
• H abit
• R each out
• I nspect Yourself
• S urrender
•T
 TO SURRENDER IS NOT PASSIVITY…
• Luke 6:35
• But love your enemies and do good, and lend,
expecting nothing in return; and your reward will be
great, and you will be sons of the Most High; for He
Himself is kind to the ungrateful and evil people.
 YOU CANNOT CHANGE PEOPLE.
ONLY GOD CAN CHANGE PEOPLE.
 LET GO AND LET GOD

• We are responsible for our own actions, words and

reactions.
• Outside your control: how others behave, how others
react…surrender that to God.
 SPEAK THE TRUTH IN LOVE

• EHESIANS 4:15
• 15 BUT SPEAKING THE TRUTH IN LOVE, WE
ARE TO GROW UP IN ALL ASPECTS INTO HIM
WHO IS THE HEAD, THAT IS, CHRIST.
 ARE YOU SPEAKING THE TRUTH IN LOVE?

• SOME PEOPLE FOCUS IN TRUTH WITH NO LOVE.

• SOME FOCUS IN LOVE WITH NO TRUTH.
• LEARN TO DISCUSS THINGS WITH LOVE.
LEARN HOW TO DISAGREE IN AN AGREEABLE WAY.
 EPHESIANS 4:31-32
• 31 All bitterness, wrath, anger, clamor and slander
must be removed from you along with all malice.
• 32 Be kind to one another, compassionate, forgiving
each other, just as God in Christ also has forgiven
you.
 HAVE YOU
THANKED THE
LORD FOR THE
DIFFICULT PEOPLE
IN YOUR LIFE?
 LOVE LIKE C.H.R.I.S.T.

• C hoice
• H abit
• R each out
• I nspect Yourself
• S urrender
• T hrough the Holy Spirit
 ROMANS 5:5,6,8
• 5 and hope does not disappoint, because the love of God has been
poured out within our hearts through the Holy Spirit who was given
to us.
• 6 For while we are still helpless, at the right time Christ died for the
ungodly.
• 8 But God demonstrates His own love toward us, in that while we are
still sinners, Christ died for us.
 WE CANNOT GIVE WHAT WE DON’T
HAVE

• The root sin is not that we don’t love God, but

we don’t love Him enough.
• If we can’t be filled with the love of God, then it
is impossible for us to love God and others.
THE LOVE OF GOD TRANSFORMS
OUR LIFE.
 1 JOHN 4:19-20

• 19 We love because He first loved us.

• 20 If someone says, “I love God, “ and hates his
brother, he is a liar; for the one who does not love his
brother whom he has seen, cannot love God whom he
has not seen.
THE EVIDENCE OF LOVING GOD IS YOU
LOVE DIFFICULT PEOPLE.