Relationships in late adulthood

SAI BRUHATHI
21PHD020
Late Adulthood

Age 65 is considered a milestone and the begging of

late adulthood. Erik Erikson suggests that at this time
it is important to find meaning and satisfaction in life
rather than to become better and disillusioned, that is
to resolve the conflict of integrity vs despair.

Reaching this age generally brings about retirement

from work, eligibility for social security and Medicare
benefits, income tax advantages etc.
 Period of decline

• Period of decline comes partly

from physical and psychological
factors.
• The psychological cause of
decline has something to do with
unfavourable attitudes towards
oneself, other people, work, and
life.
• The physical cause of decline is
a change in the body cells due
to the effects of the aging
process
Relationships
during Late
adulthood period
 Grandparenting typically begins in midlife rather than late adulthood, but
because people live longer, they can anticipate being grandparents for
longer periods.

According to the role enhancement theory, being a grandparent can bring out
A. Grandparenting an older adult purpose of life and a sense of meaning.

Life satisfaction is one of the most important indicators of adaptation in

all stages of life. One of the social factors contributing to life satisfaction in
older adulthood is having a relationship with your grandchildren

The needs of generativity can also bring older adults a sense of satisfaction
when they become grandparents. Woodward (1981) suggested that a “vital
connection” exist between grandparent and grand children.

Many grandparents preferred a grandparent-grand children relationship in

which their role was simple to enjoy rather than feeling responsible as
coparents with their adult children.
Cherlin and Furstenberg (1986) describe
three styles of grandparents:

Remote Companionate Involved

b. Relationship Tensions are often introduced into adult
with adult children child/aging parent relationships as both parties
attempt to manage an older parent’s encroaching
change in status.
It may come as no surprise that the two generations
tend to view the situation from entirely different
angles. While the adult children may be attempting
to calculate just how close to calamity their parents
really are, their parents may be attempting to
calculate just how well they can keep their children
from controlling them and “taking over”.
Older adults generally do not want to live with
their grown children. Instead, they want to live in
their own homes and remain independent for as
long as possible.
b. Relationship Elderly people identify their adult children,
with adult children when they have them, as the primary helpers
in their lives. When these people have both
an adult son and an adult daughter, elderly
people most often name the son as the
primary helper (Stoller & others, 1992).
Older Adult and their adult children are often
in touch. About 80% of older adults have
living children, many of whom are middle-
aged. Adult daughters are more likely to be
involved in the lives of aging parents. Adult
children often coordinate and monitor
services for aging disabled parents.
Younger generations Adult children of older parents may sense that
something is going to be required of them when their
perspective parents’ lack of functional ability reaches a certain
tipping point. This can certainly be an anxiety-
inducing prospect. Adult children, often at the peak of
their careers and still raising children, are harried,
stressed, and unequipped to handle a great deal more.
Perhaps owing to a strong desire to avoid a poorly-timed
emergency, adult children may begin to ask slightly
intrusive questions about assets, bill-paying, medication
use, personal habits, and performance behind the wheel
that they have never asked before.
The intentions of adult children are usually good.
They care about their parents and want to minimize
any harm that could befall them because of poor
Their parents, however, see it functional ability. They want to prevent disaster.
differently.
Older adult Aging parents may not register any change in their own
status, but take full measure of the change in their
perspective children. After years of enjoying a lovely kinship with
their adult children, they suddenly feel scrutinized.

Older parents may feel their children view them as

incompetent. They may begin to feel nervous about
visits..

For the most part, the senior generation wants to feel

cared for but not controlled. They appreciate the
concern their children show as an indicator of love.
But they don’t want to give up tasks they are fully able
to perform or give up a home they occupy with great
contentment.
Resolve conflicts, HOW?
tensions  The ideal approach to resolving tensions in the relationship is to
engage in honest conversation about the parents’ advancing age
and what, if anything, is to be done about it.
 Try to elicit from them how they view forms of assistance, and
what they mean to them.
 Assure them that having help does not mean a person is dying,
incompetent, or a failure.
 As aging parents, it’s just as important for us to recognize that
our children want to help us avoid very negative and painful
circumstances.
 It will serve all concerned to start talking about issues of aging
before they become real problems. Try to build that candor
early, and be realistic and honest about expectations and
attitudes.
 Acknowledge that degrees of dependence and independence
fluctuate throughout the stages of life – we’ve all been
depended upon, and we have all depended on others.
c. Marriage
• Marital satisfaction is at its peak.
• Greater fairness in household tasks.
• Fewer stressful responsibilities.
• Greater emotional understanding and regulation.
• Men tend to report being satisfied with a marriage
more than women.
• Women are more likely to complain about caring for
a spouse who is ill or accommodating a retired
husband and planning activities.
• Older couples continue to engage in sexual activity,
but with less focus on intercourse and more on
cuddling, and caressing (Carroll,2007).
 d. Divorce
Separation and divorce at any age are
difficult at best, but when the divorce
takes place in the case of people over 50,
the repercussions of going through a so-
called “gray divorce” are exceptionally
hard-hitting.
 Getting a divorce is almost always painful and stressful, no
Grey Divorce matter how old or young you are. But if your marriage falls apart
later in life, you may face some financial and emotional setbacks
that are more difficult to recover from than when you were
younger.
Over the past couple decades, India has seen divorce become more and more
common among young, urban couples. Now, even elderly couples are doing
what was once considered unthinkable: saying goodbye to their spouses after
decades of marriage and moving on.
“People are no longer willing to stay in relationships that have
collapsed,” said Mumbai-based lawyer Amit Karkhanis. He said his
law practice has seen a steady increase in divorce cases, which now
includes elderly couples.

Earlier, Couples feared a divorce would bring stigma to their family.

Nowadays, Urban society no longer views divorce as humiliating
and shameful, and people are therefore more willing to let it
happen. Older couples even look at the young living their lives as
they choose and “want to capture that youth,”
Causes of divorce
Poor marital quality is the biggest predictor of
any divorce.
Changing attitudes in urban India along with the
growing independence of women has led to this
increase in divorce among older couples.
Spouses seek refuge from mental, emotional, and
physical abuse.
In a grey divorce, there is often no infidelity and
no major blowout that led to the decision to get
divorced. Instead, the spouses have simply grown
apart over time.
 Self-improvement
Consequences of grey divorce: Divorce can be more difficult for an older
adult for many reasons
 Divorce tends to take a heavy financial toll. For instance, if the
husband has been in charge of handling the finances throughout
the marriage, the wife might experience difficulty after the
divorce
 Grey divorce can still affect adult children, even though they
often have grown and left home. The process of adapting to the
change in family dynamics can be difficult.
 Children may be trapped between their parent's feuds and may
be forced to take sides, which is not very pleasant.
 Divorce can be difficult and emotionally draining, especially
after a long-term marriage.
 If one of the spouses depended on the other throughout the
marriage, it might be difficult for him or her to transition
to independence.
 e. Widowhood
 Widowhood is a catastrophic event at any stage of life for the surviving partner
particularly in old age, with serious repercussions on their physical, economic,
and emotional well-being. This study investigates the association of marital
status and living arrangement with depression among older adults.
 With women outliving men by large margins, the wife is most often the
survivor. Only half of the women over 65 are living with a partner.
 India has the largest recorded number of widows in the world-33 million (10%
of the female population, compared to only 3% of men)
 "widowhood means the loss, reorganization, and acquisition of social roles". A
widow forfeits the role of her partner's nurse, confidant, sex partner, and
housekeeper.“
 Many widows have to take on additional duties, including managing household
finances and janitorial tasks, and some will have to seek employment.
 Children may play an integral part in their mother's adjustment to widowhood
in three ways: by taking over some of the father's responsibilities; by supplanting
the father as the mother’s center of attention; and by being supportive and
maintaining relationships
 Widowhood often places individuals at a greater risk of deteriorating health and
depressive symptoms with passing time post spousal loss for both sexes.
 Across studies, prevalence rates of depressive symptoms are estimated to be high as
15–30 percent within the first year of widowhood.
 Females may suffer from financial issues as most of the women are found to invest
more in family relationships.
 However, the loss of a spouse is not always associated with negative outcomes. For
instance, some studies observed improvement in well-being and lower depressive
symptoms among older widows after spousal bereavement, due to reorientation of
life, and increased time for individual development because of the decreased
burden of caregiving
Fostering adaptation to Widowhood
• Self-mastery of new skills of daily living.
• Interaction with family, and friends for social support.
• Involving in religious activities.
• Engaging in volunteer activities.
• Remarriage
f. Never married older adults
The never-married tend to be very involved
in family and caregiving and do not appear
to be particularly unhappy during late
adulthood, especially if they have a healthy
network of friends. Friendships tend to be an
important influence on life satisfaction during
late adulthood. Unmarried older adults in a
friend-focused network fared better
physically and psychologically than other
unmarried older adults with little friend
contact.
 g. Siblings relationship
 The little research to date on sibling relationships in later adulthood suggests that, in
general, older adults report having positive relationships with their siblings, and
brothers and sisters often maintain contact with each other.
 Bonds with sisters are generally closer than those with brothers.
 Siblings enjoy reminiscing as they enter later adulthood. This allows them to feel
family continuity and harmony, as well as begin to put their lives into perspective as
they naturally do a life review.
 Giving and receiving help from siblings declined in early adulthood, stabilized in
midlife, and increased slightly after age 70 for those with siblings living nearby.
 h. Friendships

Having close friends in later life, as in any other period of life,

consistently corresponds with happiness and satisfaction, and good
mental health. Friends provide support, companionship, and
acceptance, which are crucial to most older adults' sense of self‐esteem.

They provide opportunities to trust, confide, and share

mutually enjoyed activities. Keeps elders more involved in
events outside their social circle. Opens up new opportunities.
Family replaces distinct family.

Women are more likely to have intimate friends

and are more depressed without a best friend.
Men decreased their desire for new and close
friends in older adulthood.
i. Loneliness  Older people are especially vulnerable to loneliness and social
isolation – and it can have a serious effect on health.
 Being alone does not always result in loneliness.
 People can become socially isolated for a variety of reasons,
such as getting older or weaker, no longer being the hub of
their family, leaving the workplace, the deaths of spouses and
friends, or disability or illness.
 Loneliness can lead to depression and a serious decline in
physical health and well-being.
 There's a stigma surrounding loneliness, and older people tend
not to ask for help because they have too much pride.
 For some, it means solitude. Solitude involves gaining self‐
awareness, taking care of the self, being comfortable alone,
and pursuing one’s interests (Brehm et al., 2002).
Ways to connect with others

Invite friends for tea.

Keep in touch by phone.
Learn to love computers.
Get involved in local community
activities
Fill your diary
Get out and about
Join the University of the Third Age
 Conclusion
 Maintaining relationships during late adulthood is important.
Emotionally gratifying relationships and the social and emotional
support they provide buffer older adults against the challenges
inherent in the aging process, such as negative health changes,
changes in cognitive functioning, or possible social losses.
 The kinds of support we require later in life may look different
from how they did in earlier years. It has been well documented
that positive relationships with a spouse, family, or friends are a
significant factor in the overall health and well-being of older
adults.
Thank you