Extended

Writing
“Today’s society still has a deep rooted belief in traditional medicine
and relies strongly on it.”

Discuss. You should write at least 350 words.

 Brainstorm your main ideas!
Stand : Disagree

P1 – Not really hygenic

P2 – Can cause side effects
P3 – Limited sources to produce authentic traditional
medicine
 State your stand clearly!

Stand : Disagree
I disagree that today’s society still has a deep rooted belief in
traditional medicine and relies strongly on it.

@
In my opinion, today’s society does not have a deep rooted
belief in traditional medicine and therefore does not rely
strongly on it.
 State your thesis statement clearly!

In my opinion, traditional medicine sometimes is

not really hygienic (P1), can cause side effects to
people (P2) as well as facing with the issue of
limited sources to produce authentic traditional
medicine. (P3)
 Brainstorm your main ideas!

Main Idea ?

Topic sentence
Elaboration : What?
Why?
How?
Who?
Example :
 Brainstorm your main ideas!
Stand : Disagree
P1 – Not really hygienic
Topic sentence : Traditional medicine is not really hygienic.
Elaboration : What ? Methods, equipments, herbs used – maybe
harmful
Why? Equipments not sterile , not being processed
properly – can cause more damage to the person
Example : Acupuncture, herbal tonic
 Build your paragraph!
Topic Sentence P1

Society’s should not rely too much on traditional medicine because sometimes it is not really hygienic.
Most of the traditional medicine practitioners do not have any formal knowledge on medicine, therefore their
methods or equipment when attending to their ‘patients’ might not be following the proper procedure, which
will put a risk on these people’s health. (What?) Take acupuncture as an example. (Example) There’s a possibility that
equipment used is not being sterile, thus giving a risk of infection. As a matter of fact, some tools are used
repeatedly for many years. (Why?) Besides the equipment, the herbs being collected (Example) may not be
processed correctly and still contain toxins. What is even worse, the ‘medicine’ is being offered to people
without any validation on the safety or effectiveness of the ingredients. (Why?) Instead of being healed,
traditional medicine which is not hygienically prepared, may eventually cause serious effects or even death
Linking sentence
to us.