11 Interpersonal Conflict and Conflict Management

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All Rights Reserved

Chapter 11: Interpersonal
Conflict and Conflict
Management
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CH 11: Interpersonal Conflict and Conflict Management (slide 1)

Preliminaries to
Interpersonal Conflict
Copyright © 2013, 2009, 2006 Pearson Education, Inc. All Rights Reserved
1. Definition of interpersonal conflict
 Occurs when people are interdependent
 Mutually aware of incompatible goals
 See each other as interfering with achieving
goals

Preliminaries to
Interpersonal Conflict (cont.)
2. Myths about interpersonal conflict
 Conflict is best avoided
 Conflict is a sign of a troubled relationship
 Conflict damages a relationship
 Conflict is destructive because it reveals our bad
sides
 In conflict, there has to be a winner and a loser

Preliminaries to
Interpersonal Conflict (cont.)
3. Interpersonal conflict issues
 Intimacy
 Power
 Personal flaws
 Personal distance
 Social
 Distrust

Principles of
Interpersonal Conflict
1. Conflict is inevitable
2. Conflict can have negative and positive
effects
 Negative effects
 Leads to bad feelings
 You close yourself off
 Increases costs

Principles of Interpersonal
Conflict (cont.)
2. Negative and positive effects (cont.)
 Positive effects
 Resolves problems
 Improves relationships
 Demonstrates commitment to relationship
3. Conflict can focus on content and/or
relationship issues
 Relationship conflicts – equity and power
 Relationship conflicts hide as content conflicts

Conflict (cont.)
4. Conflict styles have consequences
 Competing – I win, you lose
 Avoiding – I lose, you lose
 Accommodating – I lose, you win
 Collaborating – I win, you win
 Compromising – I win and lose; you win and
lose

Conflict (cont.)
5. Conflict is influenced by culture
 Topics
 High context cultures fight about violations of group
norms
 Low context cultures fight about violations of personal
norms
 Nature of conflict
 Conflict strategies
 Organizational norms

Conflict Management Stages
1. Set the stage
 Fight in private
 Be sure you both are ready to fight
 Know what you’re fighting about
 Fight about things that can be solved

Conflict Management Stages (cont.)
2. Define the conflict
 Define both content and relationship issues
 Define the problem in specific terms
 Focus on the present; avoid gunnysacking
 Empathize
 Avoid mind reading
3. Examine possible solutions

4. Test the solution
5. Evaluate the solution
 Fact hat
 Feeling hat
 Negative argument hat
 Positive benefit hat
 Creative new idea hat
 Control of thinking hat

6. Accept or reject the solution
7. Wrap it up
 Learn from the process
 Don’t let the conflict overtake your relationship
 Increase cherishing behaviors

Conflict Management Strategies
1. Factors that influence your choice of
strategy
 Goals
 Emotional state
 Cognitive assessment of what’s fair and who
caused the conflict
 Personality and communication competence
 Family history

Conflict Management
Strategies (cont.)
2. Win-lose and win-win strategies
3. Avoidance of conflict and active fight
strategies
 Avoidance
 Physical
 Emotional or cognitive
 Demand withdrawal
 Non-negotiation
 Silencers

Conflict Management
Strategies (cont.)
4. Force and talk strategies
 Force
 Physically force your position on the other
 Emotionally force your position on the other
 Talk strategies
 Act the role of listener
 Express support and empathy
 State thoughts and feelings

Conflict Management
Strategies (cont.)
5. Face-attacking and face-enhancing
strategies: Politeness in conflict
 Face-attacking – criticizing someone or making
demands
 Face-enhancing – support or confirm someone
 Destructive behaviors
 Beltlining
 Blaming

Conflict Management
Strategies (cont.)
6. Verbal aggressiveness and
argumentativeness strategies
 Aggressiveness
 Unproductive
 Trying to win at the other’s expense
 disconfirming
 Argumentativeness
 Should be cultivated
 Argue your point of view

Conflict Management
Strategies (cont.)
6. Argumentativeness strategies (cont.)
 Cultivating argumentativeness
 Be objective
 Avoid attacking the other person
 Reaffirm the other’s competence
 Avoid interrupting
 Stress equality
 Express interest in the other’s viewpoint
 Avoid being overly emotional
 Allow the other to save face

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CH 11: Interpersonal Conflict and Conflict Management (slide 1)

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