读后续写

母亲节的惊喜
Teaching CONTENTS
续写技巧
01
文本解读
02
解题指导
03
实战演练
04
第一部分
续写技巧
 三个原则

原文一致原则 内容要前后衔接 , 上下连贯 ，语言表达风格一致

(problems→solutions) 过程跌宕起伏，其中人物会遇
曲折性原则 到困难或问题，但最终都会解决

正能量原则 故事内容充满正能量，弘扬社会主义核心价值观
 四个步骤
1. 读懂大意，理清脉络
找寻基本要素： 5W(who /when / where/ what/why)
利用曲线图获取细节信息（人物性格，情节情感，文章主题，语言风格）
2. 细读首句，构思框架
结合所给两段首句定出续写框架
结合正能量和原文呼应
3. 增加细节，提笔写作
依据情节发展和常识，在确定框架内可按“所见，所想，所说，所为，所感”构
思大致框架
4. 修改润色，妙笔生花
场景描写，动作描写，心理描写，有效对话
第二部分
文本解读
 A MOTHER’S DAY SURPRISE The twins were filled with
excitement as they thought of the surprise they were planning for Mother’s Day. How pleased and proud
Mother would be when they brought her breakfast in bed. They planned to make French toast and
chicken porridge. They had watched their mother in the kitchen. There was nothing to it. Jenna and Jeff
knew exactly what to do. The big day came at last. The alarm rang at 6 a.m. The pair went down the
stairs quietly to the kitchen. They decided to boil the porridge first. They put some rice into a pot of
water and left it to boil while they made the French toast. Jeff broke two eggs into a plate and added in
some milk. Jenna found the bread and put two slices into the egg mixture. Next, Jeff turned on the
second stove burner to heat up the frying pan. Everything was going smoothly until Jeff started frying
the bread. The pan was too hot and the bread turned black within seconds. Jenna threw the burnt piece
into the sink and put in the other slice of bread. This time, she turned down the fire so it cooked nicely.
Then Jeff noticed steam shooting out of the pot and the lid starting to shake. The next minute, the
porridge boiled over and put out the fire. Jenna panicked. Thankfully, Jeff stayed calm and turned off the
gas quickly. But the stove was a mess now. Jenna told Jeff to clean it up so they could continue to cook
the rest of the porridge. But Jeff’s hand touched the hot burner and he gave a cry of pain. Jenna made
him put his hand in cold water. Then she caught the smell of burning. Oh dear! The piece of bread in the
pan had turned black as well.
Main elements: 5 W

When Mother’s Day, at 6 a.m

Where kitchen

Who The twins(Jenna, Jeff), their mother

What Making breakfast for their mother but the kitchen was in a mess

A series of accidents(the bread turned black, porriage boiled

Why
over, Jeff’s hand got hurt...)

How to deal with it?

the clues and details → plots and characteristics
The twins were________ as they thought of the
surprise they were planning for Mother’s Day. How_________ Mother would be
They planned to make _____________.They had when they brought her breakfast in
watched their mother in the kitchen. There was
bed.
nothing to it. Jenna and Jeff knew___________.
The pairintelligent,
______________ to the kitchen. They had watched their mother in
Everything was going smoothly until the kitchen.
childish,
Jeff________.
calm,
Jenna _____________ and put in the other slice of
bread. This time, she_________ so it cooked
positive, Tender/gentle
nicely.
Then Jefflove their
noticed steammother
_____ and the lid starting
proud for children
to shake. The porridge boiled over and _________.
Jenna panicked.
Jeff ___________ and turned off the gas quickly.
Jenna __________ so they could continue to cook
the rest of the porridge. But Jeff’s hand touched the
hot burner and he _______. Jenna made him put
his hand in cold water.
she caught _______. The piece of bread in the pan
 The stove was a mess
Jeff’s hand touched the hot burner
The bread turned black again
Conflict
Disappointed
Solution?
panic
throw into the sink, turned down give up the surprise?
the fire and turned off the gas Who will help them?
calm,
Everything went smoothly indomitable
until the bread turned black
A little discourged Finish the breakfast ?
planned to prepare a The mother’s feeling?
surprise for their mother
Excited,confident

Beginning Ending
第三部分
解题指导
主题语境为“人与社会”之“家庭关系”，主要描写了双胞胎 Jenna 和
Jeff 想要通过做一份早餐给妈妈在母亲节当天一个惊喜，但由于不太熟
悉烹饪，搞砸了要煮的鸡肉粥和三明治。

1. What is the theme ?

亲情类： 子女对父母的爱
2. What is the
ending ？
双胞胎成功做好早餐，送给母亲一个节日惊喜
 推测情节发展，构思写作框架
—— 结合首句和正能量原则确定两段结尾。
As the twins looked around them in disappointment, their father appeared.
续写第一段增加了新角色——爸爸，第一段主要写双胞胎在失望的情况
_____________________________________________________________________
下，爸爸如何帮助他们完成为妈妈准备的早餐。
• 父亲了解了情况
_____________________________________________________________________
• 父亲让双胞胎打扫厨房（解决了厨房一团糟的问题）
_____________________________________________________________________
• 父亲帮助做早餐 （解决了早餐做失败的问题）
_________________________________________________________

The twins carried the breakfast upstairs and woke their mother up.
第二段的开头是双胞胎端着早餐上楼，然后叫醒妈妈。第二段主要
_____________________________________________________________________
写妈妈看到早餐后的反应和母子之间的互动。
• 双胞胎祝母亲节日快乐
_____________________________________________________________________
• 母亲看到早餐后很惊喜
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• 母亲吃了早餐
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• 母亲赞扬了双胞胎
 语言特征
本语篇主要体现了自然简洁、细腻生动的语言风格。
(1) 连贯性
首先，使用了简洁的叙述性语言叙述事件发生过程，通过使用 first, next, this time, the next minute, then, within
seconds 等表示时间先后顺序的词语，告诉读者事情发生的经过，清晰流畅，让读者有身临其境之感；其次，原
文指称衔接较多，其中代词 they 代替 Jeff and Jenna 出现 9 处；此外，利用副词进行衔接出现 1 次 (thankfully) ，
用连词 but 进行转折衔接出现 2 次。总的来说，整个语篇连贯自然而简洁。

(2) 使用了较多的短句
短句一般是指句子结构简单、词语较少的句子，如主谓宾、主谓或主系表结构，字数少于 10 个词左右。短句能
使文章的语言简洁、明快，节奏感强。本语篇使用了较多的短句。例如第二段开头“ The big day came at last.
The alarm rang at 6 a.m. The pair went down the stairs quietly to the kitchen. They decided to boil theporridge first.” 连
续用了四个短句，简单精炼，极好地描写出了 the twins 迫不及待想为妈妈做早餐的心情。第三段中的“ Jenna
panicked.” 和“ Oh dear!” 两个短句生动地描写出了 the twins 面对做早餐失败的失望心情。

(3) 使用生动细腻的行为动词
本篇使用了大量描写 Jeff 和 Jenna 做 French toast 和 chicken porridge 的行为动词，生动细腻地刻画出他们在做早
餐过程中由一开始的“游刃有余、信心满满”到后面的“手忙脚乱、失望透顶”，给读者留下了强烈的画面感，
增强了文章的生动性。这些动词语块有 put some rice into a pot of water ， break two eggs into a plate ， add in
some milk ， turn on the second stove burner ， throw the burnt piece ， turn down the fire, turn off the gas, touch
thehot burner 等，值得考生在续写中加以借鉴。
第四部分
实战演练
【词汇激活】
行为类
偷溜回被窝： sneaked back to bed / slipped back into the bed room
朝对方偷偷眨眼： winked at each other secretly
轻轻地拍了拍某人： patted sb. gently / with a gentle pat on one’s shoulder/head
在某人专业又耐心的指导下： under the expert and patient guidance/ insruction of sb.
重新振作 ; started all over again
齐声说： said in chorus
低声私语： whispered
睁开某人困倦的双眼： opened one’s drowsy /sleepy eyes
环抱： threw arms around them
紧紧拥抱： hugged / embraced them tightly
情绪类
忍俊不禁： couldn’t help giggling / bursting out laughing

如释重负地点点头： nodded with a relief

大声欢呼： yelled cheerfully

眼里闪烁着兴奋的光芒： with one’s eyes sparkling with great excitement

难掩兴奋： could hardly contain excitement

沉浸于兴奋和感激之中： immersed in / abandoned to happiness and gratitude

感动的泪水划过脸庞： moving tears stream down one’s cheeks

眼眶涌出高兴的泪水： tears of joy welling up in her eyes

感觉幸福好像拥有全世界： feel blissful as if they were in possession of everything

 亮点句式
非谓语：
1. 他轻轻地拍了拍双胞胎的肩膀，安慰道：“不要担心，我会帮助你们解决好。”
_____________________________________________________________________________________
_____________________________________________________________________________________

2. 看见美味的早餐，双胞胎忍不住去想母亲在享用早餐的时候会有多么的惊讶和骄傲。
Seeing the delicious breakfast, the twins couldn’t help imaging how surprised
_____________________________________________________________________________________
and proud their mother would be when enjoying it.
_____________________________________________________________________________________

3. 沐浴在温暖的阳光里，一家人沉浸在温馨的母亲节氛围中。
Bathed in the warm sunshine, they were immersed in a happy Mother’s Day
_____________________________________________________________________________________
atmosphere.
_____________________________________________________________________________________
With 复合结构
1. 一个灾难现场般的厨房映入了他的眼帘，父亲愣在了原地，眉头紧锁。
A disastrous kitchen greeting his eyes, the father was rooted on the
_______________________________________________________________________________
floor, with his eyebrow frowning tightly.
_______________________________________________________________________________
__

听到这些话，
2.Hearig 双胞胎点了点头，眼睛里闪烁着兴奋的光芒。
the words, the twins nodded, with their eyes sparkling with great
excitement.
__________________________________________________________________
__________________________________________________________________

母亲伸出双手环绕住双胞胎并紧紧地抱住了他们，感动的泪水划过脸庞。
3. Mother threw her arms around the twins and hugged them tightly, with
moving tears streaming down her cheeks.
__________________________________________________________________
__________________________________________________________________
 强调句 & 并列谓语
1. 看见双胞胎手上的早餐托盘，母亲瞪大了她的双眼。 下一秒，她摇醒了正在假装打鼾的
父亲。
Her eyes widened at the sight of the breakfast tray, and in the next
_______________________________________________________________________________
second, she shook the father who was pretending to snore.
_______________________________________________________________________________

2. 在父亲专业又耐心的指导下， Jeff 站在锅旁，时不时地搅动着里面的粥。同时， Jenna

小心地用油煎着吐司。
Under the expert and patient guidance of their understanding fether, Jeff stood
_______________________________________________________________________________
by the pot and stirred the porriage from timt to time while Jenne carefully fried
_______________________________________________________________________________
the French toast.
3. 不仅仅是这份早餐，更是孩子们对她的爱让她感觉幸福仿佛拥有全世界。
It_______________________________________________________________________________
was not only the tasty breakfast, but the love of the children for her that made her
blissful as if she was in possession of everything.
_______________________________________________________________________________
 完成本次续写两段内容
As the twins looked around them in disappointment, their father appeared.

_____________________________________________________________________
_____________________________________________________________________
_____________________________________________________________________
_________________________________________________________

The twins carried the breakfast upstairs and woke their mother up.

_____________________________________________________________________
_____________________________________________________________________
_____________________________________________________________________
_________________________________________________________
Thanks for your listening !