UNDERSTANDING

CONFLICTS
 WHAT IS CONFLICT?

• Conflict is the dynamics when two or more people,

organizations, or nations perceive one another as a threat
to their needs or interests.
• Conflict is a perceived incompatibility of actions or
goals between people or nations and happens when there
is an imbalance between concern for oneself and those
of others.
 THE NATURE OF CONFLICT

• Conflicts inflicts so much pain and negative

emotions on those involved. Reasoning is often
clouded and miscommunication occurs especially
at the height of an emotional argument when
words are exchanged to inflict harm on the other.
• Oftentimes, conflict follows a cycle of retaliation.
Conflict is started by what is known as a
“triggering event”, which happens when an act of
one party is perceived as a threat by the other
party. The triggering event produces a threatening
feeling on the other party and this is often
followed by a strong negative emotion like anger
or contempt.
 CONFLICT STAGES

• Conflict can happen anywhere whenever there are

people. According to the United Nations Economic
and Social Commission for Asia and the Pacific
(ESCAP) publication on Conflict Negotiation
Skills for Youth (2003), there are four stages of
conflict that do not necessarily happen exclusively
at any single time, but may happen simultaneously.
 1. INTRAPERSONAL

• With oneself, like when one is indecisive about

things
 2. INTERPERSONAL

• Among two or more individuals, like having a

misunderstanding between friends, family
members, or lovers
 3. INTRAGROUP

• Within the same interest group, like a student

organization
 4. INTERGROUP

• Between two or more groups, like fraternities

 RESPONSES TO CONFLICT

• Faced with a conflict situation, human beings

often choose between two types of responses,
flight or fight.
• There are several types of behavior involved:
avoidance, ignoring, or denial.
• Facing conflict involves several types of behavior. One
is to directly confront the other person and engage in a
peaceful dialogue. However, when emotions are running
high, violent behavior usually occurs, such as the use of
foul language, physical harm, verbal threats, ostracizing
the other party in public, spreading rumors to destroy
the other person’s reputation, filing a lawsuit against the
other party, and in the case of labor groups, picketing or
going on strike.
• In the book, Mediation for Managers: Resolving
Conflict and Rebuilding Relationships at Work by John
Crawley and Katherine Graham (2002; 2007), the
authors identified four strategies that people can use
when in conflict in the workplace.
 1. FIGHT

• Force the other party to accept a stand that is against that

party’s interest
 2. SUBMIT

• Yield to the demands of the other party and agree

to end the conflict
 3. FLEE

• Leave the situation where the conflict is occurring

or change the topic
 4. FREEZE

• Do nothing and just wait for the other party’s next

move or allow the pressure to build up
 WHAT CREATES CONFLICT?
• Conflict may arise due to the following (Myers, 2013):
1. Competing for scarce or limited resources such as
time, jobs, food, natural resources, and even love and
affection within family or personal relationships
2. Disagreement over the interpretation of facts or
information
3. Perceiving unjust treatment caused by another person
or entity
4. Perceiving threats to one’s own needs and
interests
5. Miscommunication between parties
6. Misjudging another person’s or group’s belief
systems born out of prejudice or bias
7. Exhibiting behaviors that are destructive to
another person’s well-being or reputation
 CAUSES OF CONFLICT

• According to Christopher W. Moore in his book,

The Mediation Process: Practical Strategies for
Resolving Conflict (1996), there are five causes of
conflict: relationship, data, interest, structural, and
values.
Causes of Causes of Values Causes of Structural Causes of Interest Causes of Data
Relationship Conflicts Conflicts Conflicts Conflicts
Conflicts

1. 1. Different 1. Unequal 1. Perceived or 1. Lack of

Miscommunicati ways of life, authority actual information
on ideology, and 2. Unequal competition 2. Misinformatio
2. Strong worldview, control or over interests n
emotions among others resources 2. Procedural 3. Differing
3. Stereotyping 2. Different 3. Time interests views on
4. Repetitive criteria for constraints 3. Psychological data’s
negative evaluating interests relevance
behavior ideas 4. Different
interpretations
of data
COST OF CONFLICT
POSITIVE EFFECTS OF
CONFLICT
• Relationships often grow deeper and more satisfying
because it:
allows for issues to surface;
raises the awareness of both parties’ needs;
allows emotions to be expressed;
understands and accepts the uniqueness and
differences of other people;
strengthens the resolve of the parties to pursue
common goals; and
encourages dialogue and empowerment.
 CONFLICT MANAGMENT STYLES

• according to Thomas and Kilmann (2008), there

are two dimensions to this conflict-handling
behavior: assertiveness or the extent to which a
person will try to satisfy his or her own needs or
interests, and cooperativeness or the extent to
which a person will attempt to satisfy the other
person’s needs or interests.
 FIVE MODES IN DEALING
CONFLICT

1.competing
2.accommodating
3.compromising
4.avoiding
5.collaborating
 1. COMPETING

• is assertive and uncooperative. An

individual’s interests are above all else; power
and authority are often used to win against
others.
 2. ACCOMMODATING

• is unassertive and cooperative. An individual is

willing to neglect his or her interests or needs for
the sake of the other person, yielding one’s
position and allowing the other to pursue his or her
position at the other’s expense.
 3. COMPROMISING

• is moderately assertive and moderately

cooperative. An individual is neither here or there;
prefers to split whatever is at stake in half to partly
satisfy both parties just to get over the problem.
 4. AVOIDING

• is unassertive and uncooperative. The individual

prefers to stay out of the situation either by
postponing a decision, taking a wait-and-see
position, or withdrawing completely until
conditions are better.
 5. COLLABORATING

• is assertive and cooperative. The individual seeks

a mutually satisfying solution by understanding
the needs and interests of the other person, and
expanding the resources rather than competing
over them; seeks a win-win solution.
 NEGOTIATING THROUGH A
PERSONAL CONFLICT SITUATION

understand the nature of the conflict.

acknowledge your feelings and emotions.
examine your relationship with this person.
clarify your intentions.
if you wish to keep the relationship, have a talk with the
person involved stating that you value your relationship
and would like to express your feelings about what was
done or not done to you, then ask for an explanation as
to the other person’s actions.
once the dialogue is accomplished to your and the other
person’s mutual satisfaction, then grant a reconciliatory
act like shaking hands or embracing each other.