Notes in Personal

Development
* Personal Relationship
*Social Relationship
*Conflict Management
 On Personal relationship
1. Three attachment styles as defined by ainsworth, blehar, waters, and wall:
1.1. secure attachment- when the primary caregiver is
most of the time present and available and when
all the emotional needs of an infant are met,
providing a sense of security to the infant.
1.2. Avoidant attachment- when the primary caregiver is cold and detached, and
even unresponsive to a child’s needs. The child senses rejection and this often
leads to premature detachment and self-reliance.

1.3. Anxious ambivalent attachment- when the primary caregiver is not consistent
in terms of presence and in meeting a child’s emotional needs.
2. The three stages of falling in love:
2.1. lust- is driven by the sex hormones, testosterone and estrogen. These
hormones affect both sexes.
2.2. attraction- is described as the love struck phase, which involves neuro
transmitters in the brain. This is the stage when a person loses sleep and appetite
over someone and swoons while daydreaming of this special person.
2.3. attachment- when the couple in love decides to continue with the
relationship; long lasting commitment are exchanged and may lead to raising a
family.
3. Theories and research results related to attraction
and liking:
3.1. transference effect- the person reminds us of
someone in the past who affected our sense of self.
3.2. propinquity effect- proximity as a factor to liking
3.3. similarity- liking someone with similarity to us
3.4. reciprocity- liking people who likes us back
3.5. physical attractiveness- due to physical features
3.6. personality characteristics and traits
4. basic components of love ( based on Sternberg’s
triangular theory of love ):
4.1. intimacy- Close familiarity with someone
4.2. passion- intense state of being that drives one to
pursue an interest or vision or a person
4.3. commitment- an act of deciding to consistently
fulfill an live by agreements made with another
person, entity, or cause.
 On Social relationship
1.Varieties of social influence include the following:
1.1 compliance- when a person seems to agree or follows what is requested or
required of him to do
1.2. identification- when a person is influenced by someone he or she likes or
looks up to
1.3. internalization- when a person is able to own a certain belief or act, and is
willing to make it known
1.4. conformity- involves a change in behavior, belief, or thinking to be like
others to obtain their acceptance
1.5. conversion- when an individual wholeheartedly changes his or her original
thinking and beliefs, actions, and attitudes to align with and accept those of the
other members of a group
1.6.minority- when a bigger number of people are influenced by a much smaller
number of people
1.7. reactance- reverse reaction to some social influence being imposed by a
person or a group on another
1.8. obedience- involves someone in a position of authority
1.9. persuasion- used by one person or a group to influence others to change their
beliefs, action, or attitudes by appealing to reason or emotion.
 On Conflict management
1. conflict is defined as a clash of interest or a serious
disagreement or argument.
2. stages of conflict includes the following:
2.1. intrapersonal-conflict with oneself
2.2. interpersonal- among two or more individuals
2.3. intragroup- within the same interest group
2.4. intergroup- between two or more groups
3. Four strategies to use when in conflict with others:
3.1. fight- force the other party to accept a stand that
is against the party’s interest
3.2. submit- yield to the demands of the other party and
agree to end the conflict.
3.3. flee- leave the situation where the conflict is
occurring or change the topic.
3.4. freeze- do nothing and just wait for the other
party’s next move or allow the pressure to build up.
4. miscommunication, strong emotions, stereotyping and
repetitive negative behavior cause conflict in
relationships.
5. Conflicts arise due to competing scarce resources, disagreements over
interpretation of facts or information, perceiving threats to one’s owned needs and
interest, perceiving unjust treatment caused by another person or entity,
miscommunication between parties, misjudging another person’s or group’s belief
systems born out of prejudice or bias.
6. There are five modes In dealing with conflict:
6.1. competing- assertive and uncooperative in nature
6.2. accommodating- unassertive and cooperative
6.3. compromising- moderately assertive and
moderately cooperative
6.4. avoiding- unassertive and uncooperative
6.5. collaborating- assertive and cooperative
7. Steps in resolving a personal conflict:
7.1. understand the nature of the conflict
7.2. acknowledge your feelings and emotions
7.3. examine your relationship with the person
7.4. clarify your intention
7.5. have a talk with the person involved stating that
you value your relationship and would like to express
you feelings about what was done or not done to you.
7.6. once the dialogue is accomplished to your and the
other person’s mutual satisfaction, grant a
reconciliatory act.
8. Personal relationship, as well as work relationships that are in conflict, can be
resolved through genuine communication and healthy dialogue, trust, respect, and
caring. Relationships often grow deeper and more satisfying because it:
8.1. allows for issues to surface
8.2. raises awareness of needs of both party
8.3. allows emotions to be expressed
8.4. understands & accepts uniqueness & differences
8.5. strengthens the need to pursue common goals
8.6. encourages dialogue and empowerment
ADDITIONAL POINTS TO LIVE BY!

• 1. TAKE NOTE THAT ALL THE ITEMS PRESENTED IN HERE ARE

LINKED TO ONE VERY ESSENTIAL ASPECT OF YOUR HEALTH:
MENTAL HEALTH (INCLUDES EMOTIONAL, PSYCHOLOGICAL,
AND SOCIAL WELL-BEING).
• 2. SIX AREAS TO MENTAL HEALTH AND WELL-BEING ARE:
SUBJECTIVE WELL-BEING (WHO AM I?), PERCEIVED SELF-
EFFICACY ( DO I MATTER?), AUTONOMY ( AM I INDEPENDENT?),
COMPETENCE (CAN I DO IT?), INTERGENERATIONAL
DEPENDENCE ( DO I CONNECT WITH OTHERS?)
• 3. FIVE LIFE TASKS TO LOOK INTO AS FAR AS MENTAL HEALTH PROMOTION IS CONCERNED ARE AS
FOLLOWS: ESSENCE OF SPIRITUALITY, WORK AND LEISURE, FRIENDSHIP, LOVE, AND SELF-
DIRECTION. RELATE TO: FIVE P’s OF LIFE- PLAY, PRAY, PERFORM.
• 4. REMEMBER: HEALTHY SELF-CONCEPT IS AT THE CORE OF MENTAL HEALTH AND WELL-BEING!
• 5. TAKE NOTE! HEALTHY SELF-CONCEPT + HEALTHY MIND AND BODY=GOOD MENTAL HEALTH AND
WELL-BEING.
• 6. WANTING TO IMPROVE YOUR MENTAL HEALTH? HOW COULD YOU? CONNECT, BE ACTIVE, KEEP ON
LEARNING, GIVE TO OTHERS, TAKE NOTICE. ( WHAT AGAIN? CALL 0N! CONNECT, ACTIVENESS,
LOVING LEARNING, OTHERS-CENTERED, NOTICE WHAT!

IT HELPS TO…
“TAKE A MOMENT TO APPRECIATE HOW
AWESOME YOU ARE!”