My father thought it bloody queer

Simon Armitage

Background
This is another poem taken from Armitages collection, Book of Matches It is an exploration, from another angle, of the relationship between parents and children, during the turbulent period moving from adolescence to young adulthood. The concept behind Book of Matches is based on a party game, where participants have to talk about their life in the space of time it takes for a match to burn down. It is a game which starts with facts and then goes on to feelings. The poem is very different from Mother, any distance greater in that it focuses on the conflict of the generation gap.

Content
At the age of twenty nine, the poet recalls how his father reacted when he came home with his ear pierced. The ear piercing was an expression of individuality, similar to the poets hairstyle: he refers to his mop of hair in line 3. The piercing was not a home-done job: the poet took the cowardly option of going to a jewellers, to have a professional using a jewellers gun make the hole, after which his friend had put the sleeper in. The wound had become infected. Now that he is twenty-nine and the ear piercing is many years behind him, the poet is not surprised to hear his own voice repeating his fathers words: If I were you, / Id take it out and leave it out next year. (Lines 14-15)

 The ear piercing is a symbol of the tensions which exist between parents and children: the son is asserting his independence and his rights, whilst the father makes no bones about his disapproval; the stage in life is that when peergroup pressure dominates over parental pressure and traditional values. It is not open rebellion, however, as the earring, when first the poet saw his father after having it done, was half hidden by a mop of hair. The act itself is a gesture of independence, but it is somewhat half hearted.

 The poets courage is limited, and there is an underlying sense of insecurity: he has had his ear pierced, but he fell short of the rebellious method of the time, not brave enough to follow the Sex Pistols and other icons of the period: he didnt have the nerve to numb/the lobe with ice, then drive a needle through the skin,/then wear a safety pin. There is more than a touch of irony that, despite having opted for a safer and less painful method, his wound became infected.

 The attitude of the father is one of scorn: he is sneering at his son for following the trend: the poet may have thought that the act of having his piercing reflected his independence, but the father turns that round on him (how easily youre led), suggesting that the ring should have been through his nose. His fathers sarcasm is not lost on the poet. Without saying so, the father is intimating that his son is dominated by others in just the same way that a bull, dominated by a farmer, is led by the nose; this has become synonymous with those incapable of independent thought and unable to show any resistance to influences which are stronger than them.

 The words bloody queer are no doubt those uttered by the father, and there is a sub speak that he is aligning ear piercing with girls: it is a female thing and perhaps in that he is questioning his sons sexuality, suggesting that he is effeminate potentially a very sensitive subject at that stage in the poets life.

 The poet was not really a rebel: he has made a gesture of independence in having his ear pierced, but he certainly does not feel triumphant, let alone at ease, with his decision. Looking back at his youth, the poet is not saying that the piercing was an issue of principle, but he does not remove the earring: despite his misgivings, he cannot admit the mistake in putting it in, nor lose face: had he done so, then his fathers disdain might well have been even greater.

 At the end of the poem, the poets adult maturity has led to the removal of the earring. The phase of rebellion is long gone and the italicised words at the very end, although originally his fathers, no doubt now reflect the poets own view. The poet has now espoused the values of his parents.

Language
The structure of the poem consists of three stanzas. The first two are flashbacks or reminiscences, where the poet recalls the facts of the situation and the feelings experienced by his father and by himself. The final stanza brings the reader up to the present day and the poets description of what this key event in his youthful past now means to him. He now has it in perspective, and there is no doubt a wry smile as he recalls the incident: any contention has gone.

 The poem is written in a conversational style, with easily accessible language. It is written in free verse, with lines of greatly varying length, many pauses and frequent use of enjambement: these features perhaps reflect that nonconformity of youth, individualism over compliance with accepted norms or rules, independence over caution and common sense.

 Despite the use of simple vocabulary, the poets choice of words is effective. He uses some words which have double meaning: for instance, nerve (line 6) means both courage and a physical nerve, painful when the gun pierced the ear; similarly, wept (line 11) means pus draining from a wound but also the poets inner crying over what he has done. In line 13, the poet uses similes to describe his decision to remove the earring; these suggest the inevitability of the poets decision by recalling the fact that his original decision was not reversible: the reference to the tear reflects the pain he felt; the accumulation of tears constitutes water which, once released, cannot be put back; hence, the decision to remove the earring, once the poet had taken it, comes as a welcome relief.

 There is much use of internal rhyme in the poem (queer ear; head led instead; skin pin - in; slept wept; hear tear ear year). Perhaps this repetition of sound reflects the fact that the speaker keeps coming back to the pain and negative side of having his ear pierced, whilst the father keeps repeating his disgust and condemnation.

Comparisons
Independence (Cf Armitage, Mother, any distance , Kid and Hitcher) Rebellion cf Duffy Education for Leisure Parent-child relationships cf Duffy Before you were Mine, Jonson On my First Sonne, Yeats Song of the Old Mother.