Seeing-Eye Miniature Horses By Steve Sarro & Ben Emery

Copyright 2012 Steve Sarro & Ben Emery

stevesarro@gmail.com

INT. OFFICE - MORNING TIM, SCOTT & DAVE are meeting in Tims office, Tim seated at his desk and Scott & Dave seated in chairs opposite from him. The office door is upstage, with a window out on the hallway next to it. The door is closed on a leash, the end of which is tied in a knot around the door handle. This leash is being violently tugged from outside the door and there is an audible commotion outside, animal noises, occasional banging against the wall. Tim and Scott are looking over paperwork and pay little attention to the noises, Scott looks worriedly at the door. He is disheveled, his shirt untucked and torn, his hair is a mess with bits of hay sticking out of it. SCOTT So, the warehouse did another physical count and were still showing a 30 piece discrepancy. TIM Dave, if you can review your departments orders for last quarter, this is a top priority today. DAVE Yeah... uh, sure, Ill have that done as soon as, uh... SFX [Horse neighing] More violent banging against the door. Dave loses his train of thought. TIM Everything okay, Dave? DAVE Yeah, fine, fine... just... dealing with a little... situation this morning. More violent tugging. SFX [Horse neighing, angry snort.] SCOTT A situation?

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2.

DAVE Yeah, I mean nothing serious. TIM Youre talking about... the horses? DAVE Yeah, the horses. SCOTT Horses? DAVE Horses, yeah. TIM So... how are things going with the horses? DAVE Theyre good! Theyre really good! Theyre amazing creatures, very clever. TIM Ah-hah. We see through the upstage window an employee walking buy looking at papers, suddenly they scream, papers go flying, as they struggle with something beneath our window view and eventually disappear below it. SCOTT Wait, sorry... horses? What are you guys talking about? TIM Bens seeing-eye horses. SCOTT Ben has... seeying-eye horses? Here, in the office? TIM Yeah, you didnt see them? SCOTT (thinking) I dont think so--wait, are you talking about those dogs that have been running around the office this morning?

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SFX [Horse neighing.] DAVE Yeah, well, actually those are horses. SCOTT Ohhhhhh, horses! TIM Those are Bens seeing-eye horses. SCOTT Seeing-eye... horses. Huh! But, theyre very small though! DAVE Theyre miniature horses. SCOTT See, I thought they were dogs! SFX [Horse neighing] DAVE Im not sure if you read the office email I sent about it last week... SCOTT About the break room refrigerator being cleaned? I got that, I dont remember anything about horses... DAVE No, it was a different email. I mean it basically just said that based on doctors advice, Ben is going to start having seeing-eye miniature horses with him in the office. SCOTT Ah. Seeing-eye... horses. But, isnt it usually "seeing-eye dogs"? or something like that? DAVE Yeah, Ben is allergic to dogs.

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TIM I think were getting a little sidetracked here. SCOTT Sorry. TIM So, once we resolve these discrepancies, we should be able to... SCOTT Uh, sorry--sorry, just... why horses, though? TIM Wow, youre kind of obsessed with this arent you? SCOTT Im not "obsessed", Im just... I mean, its kind of weird, right? TIM Scott! DAVE (Overlapping Tim) Its not "weird", Scott. Miniature horses are very smart, theyre clean, theyre very well-behaved-TIM Well, trained ones, right? DAVE Right, the trained ones... they can be trained to be house-broken. Thats... what were working on. SCOTT Wow, they sound pretty neat! You know, the kids have been wanting a dog, but Sharon and I arent sure theyre ready for that kind of responsibility... TIM (laughing) You know whos going to be walking that dog!

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SCOTT Exactly! Tim points at Scott, Scott raises his hand. SCOTT Bingo! But, maybe a miniature horse would be a good way for them to see what having a pet is really like. Do they sell them down at the pet store? DAVE Well, I dont think so, Scott. Im sure youd have to go to a miniature horse farm, or something like that, where they give the animals a good upbringing, socialize them, give them their vitamins and their shots, make sure theyre free of disease and fit to live with humans. TIM Did Ben get his from a place like that? DAVE Oh, no. I think he found these guys on Craigslist. Yeah, theyre a bit of a handful! I was able to corral one of them in the mail room, and then I finally caught up with this little guy on my way here. Fierce banging on the door. SFX [Loud neighing, snorting.] TIM And barely a scratch on you, well done. SCOTT See, I didnt even realize he was blind... TIM Who?

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SCOTT Ben, you said theyre his "seeing-eye horses", right? I thought he already had seeing eyes. DAVE Yeah, well, perhaps not for long. Its something to do with the shape of his corneal nerves, or something, the doctor says he has a 13% chance of developing glaucoma by the time hes 70! TIM My god! SCOTT Oh, the poor guy! (starts to cry) DAVE I know. Hes being super brave about it. (pointedly) We could ALL learn a thing or two from him, in my humble opinion. Scott looks ashamed at this. Through the window, we see a cane being brandished frantically in the air, then Ben with his eyes squeezed shut as he walks forward. He stands still in front of the window and continues to flail his cane in the air, hitting it against the wall and the door. BEN (Shouting) Sprinkles!!! White Fang!!! Sprinkles!!! Oh--is that you, Sprinkles? SFX [horse happily neighing] DAVE Thats Ben now! Ben, were in here! BEN (Shouting) What! Dave? Is that you, Dave! Ben tries to walk into the wall, banging his head on the window. TIM Oh my god!

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DAVE Dont move, Ben, Im coming! Dave runs to the door, it hitting Dave in the as Dave blocks it with its flailing and guide tightly closed. opens it, Ben waves his cane through face. Ben continues to flail the cane his arm, then takes Bens arm to stop him into the room. Ben keeps his eyes

BEN Is that you Dave! Ben places his free hand forcefully on Daves face, Dave takes it and places it on his cheek to help Ben recognize him. Ben grabs Daves nose roughly. DAVE Its me Ben, its Dave! And theres White Fang, Ben, just outside the door! I caught up with him on my way here. Sprinkles is in the mail room, theyre both safe and sound. BEN You stay there, White Fang! DAVE Look at how still hes being, what a good horse! Ben, Im here with-BEN (shouting) Are there other people in here! TIM Hey Ben, its me, Tim! Ben waves his cane over towards the direction of Tims voice, knocking a mug off of his desk. It shatters as it hits the floor. BEN (shouting) Tim! Is that you! Scott waves awkwardly. SCOTT Hey Ben, its me... um... BEN (shouting) Who said that! (CONTINUED)

CONTINUED: Ben starts flailing his cane wildly in the direction of Scotts voice, Scott has to duck in his seat to avoid getting hit. Dave grabs his arm to steady it. SCOTT (whispering to Tim) Can he see me? TIM (whispering) No he cant see you, you idiot! DAVE Its only Scott, Ben, Scotts here as well. BEN Oh, hi Scott... Ben stops suddenly. He takes a large, dramatic inbreath through his nose, smelling the air around him. BEN Is somebody eating... donuts! Are there donuts in here! TIM No, sorry Ben, no donuts... SCOTT (amazed) I had a donut on my way in to work yesterday morning! All gasp. TIM Thats amazing, Ben! BEN Sorry, Im just getting used to this heightened sense of smell. SCOTT (carefully) Is it... because of your glaucoma? TIM Scott, shhh! BEN Its okay, let him talk! Pause, all look to Scott.

8.

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SCOTT Oh, actually that was it, I was done talking. BEN The doctor said its better to talk about it. Of course, it was devastating to learn at 25 years old that I face a 13 PERCENT CHANCE of developing this horrible condition by the age of seventy. Scott and Tim start to cry, taking tissues from a box on Tims desk. BEN So now, I have to carry this cane! He waves it violently in the air, breaking an overhead light. BEN And be lead around by wild beasts! But, in some ways, its been a blessing to me. It has taught me to appreciate the little things that those of you with the precious gift of sight take for granted... the sound of children playing, the touch of a warm breeze on your cheek. (singing with emotion:) BLINDED BY THE LIGHT! Wrapped up like a douche into--oh, hang on... Bens phone beeps, he pulls it out of his pocket and reads a text. He begins typing back. He types for some time. SCOTT (loud whisper) Can he hear us, right now? DAVE (whispering sharply) Yes! Hes blind, he can hear you he just cant SEE you. SCOTT (loud whisper) Whats it called when youre blind in your ears?

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CONTINUED: TIM (whispering) Thats dumb. SCOTT (whispering) Its not dumb, Im just asking a question! TIM (whispering) No, idiot, its called dumb, when youre blind in your ears and you cant hear things! DAVE (whispering) Right, hes blind, not dumb.

10.

Ben finishes typing, puts his phone back in his pocket and shuts his eyes tightly again. BEN K, Ive gotta go. Dave, help me back to the door! DAVE Of course Ben, here we go! Dave takes Bens arm and leads him to the door, Ben waving his cane carefully ahead of him. Ben turns before he exits: BEN Goodbye, T- TH-Ben runs his hand carefully over Tims embossed nameplate on his door, trying to "read" it. BEN TII--TIIIIIMMMM TIM Its Tim, Ben... BEN TIM!! Goodbye Tim!!! SCOTT Bye Ben! Ill see you later!--I MEAN!-Scott covers his mouth, mortified. Tim and Dave gasp and glare at Scott. Ben does not laugh.

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DAVE Im so sorry, Ben... BEN "And Jesus sayeth, why beholdest thou the mote that is in thy brothers eye, but considerest not the BEAM that is in thine own eye?" TIM Amen. Ben exits, dramatically singing "Hello" by Lionel Richie. SCOTT Im so sorry, Ben! Dave looks at Scott in disgust as he starts untying the leash from around the door. DAVE Come on, White Fang! Lets go, White F-AAAAAAHHHHHH!!! Dave is dragged violently downward out the door. We continue to hear his screams. DAVE My face!! Not my face!!! AAAUUGGHHH!!! TIM (to Scott) You really are an asshole, Scott. END.