Lesbian, Gay and Bisexual people

FAQs 

Myths 

... and the Facts 

 Contents
Preface 1
Introduction 2

1 Who are the lesbian, gay and bisexual people in Britain today? 8
2 What particular issues do lesbian, gay and bisexual people face in Britain today? 12
3 What are the keys laws protecting LGB people’s rights? 18
4 Lesbian, gay and bisexual people in families and relationships 20
5 Contacts and further information 23
Preface
This booklet is one in a series of
guides to equalities issues produced
by Bristol City Council. It is part of
our commitment to promoting
inclusion through tackling myths and
prejudice. Previous booklets provide
information on asylum seekers and
refugees, Gypsies and travellers and
Muslims. All resources are also
available online at
www.bristol.gov.uk/equality.
Research from the British social attitudes
survey over the last 20 years has
demonstrated how the general
population’s attitude towards lesbian, gay
and bisexual (LGB) people is becoming
more positive. Although crime statistics,
records of legal cases and individuals’
personal experiences continue to provide
evidence of significant discrimination
against lesbian, gay and bisexual people,
there is a growing acceptance of diversity
in modern society.
The research shows how prejudice and
discrimination against lesbian, gay and
bisexual people is directly linked to
stereotypes, myths and ignorance about
the reality of LGB people’s lives and
experiences. This booklet addresses
frequently asked questions (FAQs) and
provides the facts behind some common
myths and misconceptions. This booklet
focuses on sexual orientation and does
not set out to address transgender myths;
we plan to cover these in the future.
1
“As a council we are committed to
equality for everyone within the City of
Bristol. We want lesbian, gay and bisexual
people to see and feel the impact of that
commitment in their daily lives. This
mythbusting booklet helps put our
equalities policies and action plans into
context and provides useful information
for Bristol residents, policy developers and
service providers alike. It does not aim to
provide all of the solutions in itself but is
part of our wider equalities strategy that
will ensure Bristol’s status as an inclusive,
fair and forward-looking city.”
Helen Holland – Leader of the Council
2 Introduction
 What do we mean by the
terms lesbian, gay and
bisexual (LGB)?
Lesbian, gay and bisexual describe
different sexual orientations. We all
have a sexual orientation. It is a
combination of romantic, emotional
and physical attractions towards
others. Lesbians and gay men
experience such attractions to
members of their own sex, whilst
bisexual people are attracted to
members of both sexes. People who
are attracted to the opposite sex are
described as heterosexual.
The word homosexual was commonly
used as the opposite to heterosexual. In
Britain this has come to be seen as a
derogatory term linked to outdated
medical diagnoses and long repealed
crimes. Whilst many women identify as
lesbians, the word gay is used by both
men and women to describe their
sexual orientation.
Sometimes the initials “LGB” or the single
word “gay” are used by service providers,
government policy makers and the media
as shorthand to refer collectively to people
who are lesbian, gay or bisexual. If taking
this approach, it is important to
remember that attitudes, experiences and
the degree of shared identity amongst any
of these groups of people vary widely. No
one would suggest that heterosexual
people are all alike. Similarly, sharing a
minority sexual orientation does not
mean you necessarily share anything else
about your life.
My ths:
“Being lesbian, gay
or bisexual is just a
lifestyle choice”
 Is being lesbian, gay or
bisexual a lifestyle choice?
Government estimates in the UK indicate
that between 5% and 7% of the
population identify as lesbian, gay or
bisexual, although more specific sexual
health surveys show that around 10% of
men and women have had same sex
relationships. These figures are based on a
range of different surveys, research and
analysis. However, accurately measuring
sexual orientation within the overall
population is problematic.
When faced with high levels of
discrimination, prejudice or cultural
pressure LGB people may be scared to give
information about themselves. Some
people don’t identify with the terms
lesbian, gay or bisexual and their
behaviour might be different from the
way they describe themselves. All of these
reasons can cause low survey responses
and result in less accurate information.
However, even with existing data, in
numerical terms, LGB people make up a
sizeable minority group.

Many questions have been asked over the
years about what makes someone lesbian,
gay or bisexual. Is it about the way they
were brought up? Their experience in
relationships? Their genes? Or a
combination of all (or none) of these? The
reality is that we don’t know what causes
anyone’s sexual orientation.
There are many motivations for this
debate but seldom do people ask the
same questions about what makes
someone heterosexual.
Many lesbian, gay and bisexual people say
that they knew from an early age that
they felt different. This early awareness
may have shaped their sense of personal
and social identity even before they linked
it to sexual orientation. Many LGB people
will subsequently suppress these feelings
to some extent, because of social pressure
or discrimination. This pressure to
conform may mean that people live a
public heterosexual life even though they
know they are lesbian, gay or bisexual.
As an example, one in ten men and one
in four women who formed a same sex
civil partnership in the UK in 2006 had
previously been in a heterosexual
marriage.
Suggesting that people choose to be
lesbian, gay or bisexual is like suggesting
that people choose to be heterosexual or
left-handed. Given the discriminatory
legislation and prejudice that has existed
over the years, the only real choice is
whether people feel safe to live their life
being open to themselves and others.
 Is this about sexual
orientation or social identity?
Most individuals in the UK will know
people who are lesbian, gay or
bisexual but may well be unaware of
it because they do not make it public.
As an argument against LGB equality,
it’s often asserted that “people
should keep their sex life private”,
but the reality is that sexual
orientation is not just about sex.
Being lesbian, gay or bisexual will shape
who you spend your life with, how you see
yourself and, if you are “out”, may
influence how other people see you. It is
not about what you do but who you are.
To hide or disguise this can be damaging
to a person’s self-esteem and distance
3
them from colleagues, family or friends.
Talking openly about your same sex
partner is not flaunting your sexuality any
more than a heterosexual person who
might refer naturally to their wife,
husband or partner of the opposite sex.
While some people might like to simply
dismiss same sex attraction as
“unnatural”, there are in fact widely
observed and researched examples of
same sex behaviour and gender fluidity
throughout the world of nature. Human
beings have formed same sex
relationships throughout history and
across all ethnic and cultural groups
around the world. What changes is how
societies react to this.
Lesbian, gay and bisexual people come
from all walks of life, all ethnicities, all
economic levels, all religions and all
political perspectives. They may be
disabled, can be young or old and may be
married or parents. They are as diverse in
their lives and lifestyles as heterosexual
4
people. As men and women become more
individually expressive in their clothes,
hairstyles, mannerisms and friendships,
you just can’t make any assumptions
about anyone’s sexual orientation. Some
LGB people may fit common stereotypes –
many more will not. The only way that you
can know someone’s sexual orientation is
if they tell you.
 Is being lesbian, gay or
bisexual just a modern trend?
Same sex relationships between men
and women are well documented
throughout Greek and Roman times.
On every continent in the world, from
early civilisations right through the
Middle Ages, same sex relationships
are evidenced through literature, art,
legal documents and historical
records. Sometimes these were
within the norms of those societies,
sometimes they were marginalised.
New prejudices and changes in attitudes
about relationships generally appeared
from the 18th century onwards partly
linked to issues of inheritance and partly
to perceptions of morality. As a result, new
laws were invented to make same sex My ths:
relationships illegal in some countries
where they had previously been accepted.
There were attempts to rewrite history
“LGB people always
and this led to significant destruction of want to flaunt their
early representations of same sex sexuality rather than
relationships. Archaeologists in Peru
destroyed much pre-Columbian art
keep it private like
depicting same-sex images as “insults to heterosexuals”
national honour”. In India in the 1920s,
erotic carvings of gay men and lesbians in
Hindu temples dating from the 11th “Homosexuality is
century were destroyed under
government orders to encourage both
‘unnatural’ ”
Indians and non-Indians to believe that
such behaviours were due only to foreign
influence. (Conner, Randolph P and others, “It’s easy to spot
Encyclopaedia of Queer Myth, London: someone who’s
Cassell, 1997.)
lesbian, gay or
During the late 19th and 20th centuries, bisexual”
many countries created or enforced
discriminatory laws against lesbian, gay
and bisexual people. There were attempts
to identify a medical basis for same sex “Being lesbian, gay
orientation so that it could be dismissed as or bisexual is a
an illness. In some countries homosexuality modern invention”
became classified as a mental disorder.

Case study
On 6 May 1933 the Hirschfeld Institute
for Sexual Science in Berlin (the largest
archive and record of sex and
relationships behaviour in the world)
was ransacked. Over 12,000 books and
thousands of original manuscripts and
artefacts were removed and burned in a
huge bonfire in front of the University
of Berlin. The film of this public book-
burning became emblematic as a
symbol of Nazi censorship and the
destruction of culture.
Few people realise that it was
specifically targeted at the destruction
of records of contemporary and
historical gay identity.
In a modern parallel, 6,000 books of
homoerotic poetry by the 8th century
Persian-Arab poet Abu Nuwas were
publicly burnt by the Egyptian Ministry
of Culture in January 2001.
(Middle East Report, 219 Summer 2001)
This resulted in “treatments” such as
electric shock therapy being administered
against the will of the individual – such
approaches are defined as torture today. In
Britain, being lesbian, gay or bisexual
suddenly meant you could no longer work
in public office. It opened people up to
blackmail, persecution and social exclusion
which had not previously existed.
As British society changed rapidly after
the two world wars, attitudes and
legislation concerning lesbian, gay and
bisexual people drifted backwards and
became more discriminatory. In direct
response to the negative impact on
people’s lives, the 1960s saw a gay civil
rights movement emerge to challenge
such inequality. Lesbian, gay and bisexual
people joined forces socially and politically
with others opposed to oppression and
discrimination. The Wolfenden report of
1957 found that there was no justification
for criminalising consenting private sexual
behaviour between adults. This was a key
step in repealing oppressive laws that
dated from 1861. Since the 1970s (with
the notable exception of Section 28),
successive governments have gradually
5
dismantled discriminatory legislation.
Increasing focus from government and
wider civil society is now on addressing
the longer term social and attitudinal
effects of years of exclusion and prejudice.
A full historical timeline is available online
at www.lgbthistorymonth.org.uk
 Homophobia and
heterosexism
Homophobia is defined as an
irrational hatred, intolerance or fear
of lesbian, gay and bisexual people
Homophobia doesn’t just affect LGB
people. Friends and families can equally
be targets, as can heterosexual people
who are thought to be gay. It can range
from verbal taunting and bullying to some
of the worst excesses of violence and
discriminatory behaviour such as London’s
Admiral Duncan pub bombing in 1999
which killed three and wounded 70.
Homophobia can exist in an individual or
an organisation. Many of our public
institutions have historically run services
and developed policies that excluded or
6
Case study
In 1988 a controversial clause was
inserted in a UK wide Local
Government Act. This became known
as Section 28. It dismissed lesbian and
gay family relationships as “pretend”
and made it difficult for teachers and
councils to positively address issues
relating to sexual orientation.
From its introduction to its 2003 repeal,
the law was never used but it
perpetuated negative myths and caused
fear amongst teachers, councils and
youth workers. Its existence prevented
legitimate issues such as bullying, hate
crime and homophobia being addressed
and meant many young people went
without support or information at key
times in their lives. The damaging
impact of this is still felt by individuals
and institutions today.
failed to take account of lesbian, gay and
bisexual people. Where LGB people were My ths:
recognised, their sexual orientation and
identity was often treated as inferior or
morally wrong. The legal system, the “It’s not homophobic
armed forces, health and education have to dislike people for
all historically worked in ways that
being gay”
discriminated against LGB people. This is
described as institutionalised
homophobia and mirrors the institutional “It’s only a joke, it’s
racism that was defined in the not hurting anybody,
MacPherson Report into the racially
motivated killing of Stephen Lawrence.
gays shouldn’t be so
sensitive”
Heterosexism describes a (sometimes
unintentional) bias shown by a
society where cultural institutions status offer married, cohabiting or single
and individuals are conditioned to as the only choices – not recognising civil
partnerships which for same sex couples
expect everyone to live and
are equivalent to marriage.
behave as heterosexuals.
An even more widespread incidence is the
Disadvantage suffered by those “outside
way that the word “gay” is now commonly
the norm” or majority group is often
used by children as young as five to
blamed on the minority themselves.
describe anyone who steps out of line or
When this is invisibly embedded in
anything that’s negative. People
language, traditions, communications and
challenging this as homophobic are often
institutions, it can exclude and deny the
told that they’re too sensitive or it’s not
lives of LGB people. An example of this is
meant seriously. Nonetheless the impact
when official questionnaires on marital
on young LGB people or children of LGB

parents is to reinforce feelings of
worthlessness or inferiority. For the
majority group it subtly introduces or re-
enforces prejudice and power over others.
While homophobia causes the most
obvious direct harm to LGB people,
heterosexism can also cause subtle and
long-lasting damage to self-image and
self-esteem. Victims of a one-off
homophobic attack might rationalise that
this is an isolated incident carried out by a
rogue individual. But LGB people growing
up and living in overtly heterosexist
environments can internalise negative
stereotypes and develop varying degrees
of low self-esteem and self-hatred. This is
described as “internalised homophobia”
and can be particularly damaging as
people are often not aware of it.
Despite the fact that homophobia and
heterosexism still exist in Britain today,
major advances in equalities legislation
and policy have brought about significant
improvements in recent years. Public
education, more inclusive public services
and improved action from the UK police
on homophobic hate crime have also
contributed to a less hostile environment.
Many private organisations also work
extensively to combat homophobia in
economic, cultural or social arenas from
football to religion.
There is growing recognition that any
prejudice or discrimination (be it
homophobia, racism, sexism, disablism or
others) is bad not only for the group that
is targeted but for the whole community.
My ths:
“You can’t change
the way people
think. You just have
to put up with it”
“Most prejudices are
based on good
reason”
7
 How does prejudice towards
lesbian, gay and bisexual
people come about?
Many people feel threatened by what they
don’t understand and when lesbian, gay
and bisexual identities have been hidden
and are unfamiliar, it can be easier to
believe the worst myths and stereotypes.
Research for the Cabinet Office Equalities
Review in 2006 found that prejudice is
directly linked to how close people
perceive they are to a group – so someone
with an LGB friend is statistically far less
likely to hold LGB prejudices than
someone who believes they’ve never met
an LGB person. Prejudice is also more
likely when a group is labelled with a
negative stereotype that arouses
unpleasant emotions such as fear or
disgust. It is for this reason that people
who are homophobic will often focus on
extreme stereotypes around alleged
sexual or predatory behaviour in an
attempt to “justify” their negative beliefs.
8 1 Who are the lesbian, gay and bisexual people in Britain today?
 Ordinary people living
ordinary lives
Lesbian, gay and bisexual people in Britain
today are largely the same as any other
random sub-section of society such as
people who wear glasses, or those who
live in flats. The available demographic
data suggests that they broadly reflect the
overall population in terms of age range,
male/female split, ethnicity, social class
and employment/education patterns
amongst other identifying characteristics.
However unlike wearing glasses,
someone’s sexual orientation cannot be
observed from the outside. Whether we
are aware of it or not, we will all know LGB
people. They are our colleagues,
neighbours, teachers, friends, family,
healthcare workers, builders or any
number of other people in our daily lives.
 Why does sexual orientation
need to be made public?
Collecting national and local data on the
lesbian, gay and bisexual population is
important for a number of reasons:
 It helps inform public policy and ensure “Society has handed me a mask to wear...
services and approaches meet everywhere I go, at all times and before
everyone’s needs all sections of society, I pretend.”
 It enables discriminatory practices to be Edward Sagarin, American academic and
identified and corrected writer describing invisibility and
 It demonstrates that LGB people are
alienation as a gay man in 1951
present in all social and community
groups
 It helps disprove myths about LGB
people being vastly different from My ths:
others in society
Some people feel that there is no need to “Only white,
make your sexual orientation public as middle-class people
your sex life is private. The reality is that are gay”
people are automatically assumed to be
heterosexual unless information is given
otherwise. Such assumptions shape how “Sexual orientation
you are treated – not least by the public should be private –
services for which everyone expects a fair
return on their taxes. Personal
local councils are just
assumptions that people hold about you being intrusive asking
also shape how you relate to your friends, such questions”
family and others around you. Keeping
lesbian, gay and bisexual people invisible
makes it easier to deny their existence “Local councils waste
within wider society and harder to money on LGB projects”
address discrimination and prejudice.

 “Coming Out”
The decision to disclose your sexual
orientation as a lesbian, gay or
bisexual person is commonly known
as “coming out (of the closet)”. It can
happen at any age and depending on
personal and social circumstances, it
is a significant and usually scary step.
An early stage is often to acknowledge
and accept your own sexual orientation. In
a negative social climate this can take
years for some people. Individuals will
then normally carefully choose who else
they tell and when. Some people are out
at work or with friends but not to their
family or vice versa. Coming out is
however a lifelong process where
decisions (on relevance, safety, impact etc)
have to be taken with most new
situations and acquaintances.
Coming out must always be a personal
choice. Some LGB people never come out
and may spend their whole lives
“closeted”. Although coming out can have
a powerful and positive impact on health
and well-being – it is not the answer for all
LGB people. For some, coming out would
bring more problems than benefits due to
personal circumstances such as already
being married or in a highly homophobic
environment or culture. Most people who
do come out find that with hindsight it
was more positive than they had expected,
even if difficult at times.
As homophobia and discrimination
decrease, more LGB people come out.
In Britain young people are increasingly
coming out earlier. It is therefore even
more important that age-appropriate
support and information is widely
available and that young people are
properly supported through schools,
youth services and online resources.
Long-term benefits identified from
“coming out” include:
• release from the stress of hiding or
pretending
• more honest and authentic
relationships with family and friends
• having access to information and
support
• realising you’re not alone
9
 Multiple identity and
multiple discrimination
In addition to their sexual
orientation, LGB people may also be
from a religious or ethnic minority
group, they may be disabled or have
some other defining characteristic.
Such multiple identities can make
individuals a target of prejudice on
more than one level from different
sources. For example, an African gay
man might experience homophobia
from some parts of the Black
community, racism from some parts
of the LGB community, and racism
and homophobia from the wider
community. This is known as multiple
discrimination.
 Sexual orientation and disability –
A frequent complaint from disabled
people is that they are assumed not to
have any sexuality at all. Where any issue
of sexuality is raised, most disabled
people – like most non-disabled people –
are assumed to be heterosexual. This can
raise problems for disabled LGB people in
residential care or independent living
10
situations. It may cause tensions where a
young person has a close family member
as a primary carer. Access to information,
advice and guidance can be limited and
simply asking the question could force
someone into coming out when they are
not ready. There are also significant
practical barriers for disabled LGB people
wishing to access social activities and
information as well as disability prejudice
amongst LGB people.
 Sexual orientation and ageing –
The term “older” includes several different
generations and issues facing a 50 year
old will clearly differ from those facing an
80 year old. Some older LGB people will
have grown up in times when being gay
was illegal. Their own attitudes and those
of their peer group will have been
influenced by this and older LGB people
may find it particularly difficult to be open
about their identity.
Ageism exists generally within society,
with stereotypes around abilities, looks
and interests. Many LGB social
opportunities reflect this wider trend and
are geared towards young people’s
interests and pubs/clubs. Older people can
feel unwelcome and under-valued on a
fashion-fuelled LGB scene. Social isolation
and loneliness can therefore be major
challenges, as can moving into a
residential care setting.
 Sexual orientation and race –
LGB people from minority ethnic groups
may face double discrimination, at risk of
negative experiences on the basis of both
sexuality and ethnicity. They may feel that
they have to choose between their
sexuality and their cultural identity –
fearing homophobia or exclusion from
community support networks and family if
they “come out”. Some newcomers to
Britain (both LGB and heterosexual) from
countries with oppressive attitudes around
sexual orientation may find that their
fears and/or prejudices do not correspond
to the reality here perhaps causing
tensions and cultural clashes that have to
be addressed. Many minority ethnic LGB
people are quite at ease with their sexual
orientation but then face racism from
other lesbian, gay or bisexual people.
 Sexual orientation and faith –
This is an area that can cause controversy
and provoke strong personal reactions.
LGB people are already part of all major
religious beliefs. Some of them will find
their faith and its institutions welcome
them while others find it raises
challenging personal issues. In contrast,
many other LGB people are not religious
and resent the impact that other people’s
belief systems have on their daily lives
and experiences.
Various passages in a number of the main
religious texts have been used to condemn
homosexuality. Some people take these
literally as the basis of their belief that
same sex relationships are morally wrong
and should be censured. Other religious
leaders and movements argue that such
references merely reflect social customs of
their time. They see these particular texts
as inappropriate to address LGB
relationships and identity in the modern
world. Much social homophobia and
significant personal discrimination has
been justified by such texts.
The changing face of faith means there
are now widely different stances on same
sex relationships (as on many other
issues) within all major religions today.
Against this backdrop, there is a need to
balance the “rights” of different groups.
This means ensuring that personal beliefs
are respected but do not cause harm to
others. It also means making sure that
particular perspectives are not
inappropriately imposed upon public

policy – with the effect of perpetuating
anti-LGB discrimination. Many groups are
working together to develop the
understanding and tolerance that ensure
discrimination is not perpetuated in the
name of religion.
"We would be very happy if we could
help other Christian parents come to
terms with their children’s sexuality
(we have a gay son).
We have been very involved with
fundamentalist churches for forty years
or so. I was an ordained minister and was
a pastor of Pentecostal (AOG) churches
and free evangelical churches for about
twenty years.
To many Christians, the thought of God
accepting practicing homosexuals or
lesbians into the church body is
repulsive, mentally and emotionally ...
[their] objections take Christian parents,
family and friends of LGB people a long
time to work through sometimes.”
Extract from Bristol parents’ testimony on
FFLAG website ( Friends & Families of
Lesbians and Gays)
 Social networks – the
“gay scene”
Everyone wants opportunities for
social contact and to be around
people that they feel comfortable
with and where they can be
themselves. For lesbian, gay and
bisexual people there can be a fear of
prejudice in certain social
environments. Whilst it may be
considered perfectly acceptable for
heterosexuals to show affection in a
pub, or enter as a couple in a quiz
night, the reaction to exactly the
same behaviour from people of the
same sex can be very different.
The fear of having to face hostility in
social environments has been addressed
by creating safe social spaces that have
become generically known as the “gay
scene”. This includes informal social
contexts such as an LGB ramblers group or
football team or the more commercial
environments of LGB bars and clubs found
in larger towns and cities. In smaller
towns or rural areas, LGB people might be
more dispersed or invisible and safe social
opportunities may be limited. This can
11
lead to social isolation and is particularly
challenging for young people as they
develop their sense of identity. Some LGB
people find such “gay-led” approaches
rewarding, others prefer to socialise
openly in more mixed environments.
As social attitudes change and new
legislation ensures lesbian, gay and
bisexual people have equal access to
goods and services (including leisure and
social activities) – social spaces are
becoming more inclusive and welcoming.
There is increasing recognition that whilst
segregated social activities provide
valuable choice and safety, an inclusive
mixed environment better reflects society
in the longer term.
My ths:
“Lesbian and gay people
only ever socialise
together”
“The ‘gay scene’
discriminates against
heterosexual people”
12
2 What particular issues do lesbian, gay
and bisexual people face in Britain today?
 Schools and homophobic
My ths: bullying
Homophobic bullying happens in
“Bullying is just part schools from the earliest years. It has
serious consequences for young
of growing up – it people including absenteeism,
toughens you up” depression, isolation and low self
esteem through to self-harming and
even suicide.
“Young people aren’t It can also be directed at teachers and
other staff with similar effects. Anyone
yet aware of sexual can be targeted irrespective of their actual
sexual orientation and the effects can
orientation so can’t damage their whole life. Homophobic
use it to bully others” bullying undermines a positive school
ethos for the whole school community. It
harms pupils, parents, teachers and other
staff as well as the bullies themselves.
“Everyone gets called
names, it’s normal”
Stonewall’s 2007 research The School
Report, found that:
 65% of lesbian, gay and bisexual pupils
have experienced homophobic bullying.
 Of those, 92% have experienced verbal
homophobic bullying, 41% physical
bullying and 17% death threats.
 Although derogatory terms such as
“dyke”, “poof”, “lezzie”, “queer” are
widely heard in schools, over half of
teachers fail to respond to homophobic
language when they hear it.
 30% of lesbian gay and bisexual pupils
say that adults – teachers or support
staff – are actually responsible for
homophobic incidents in their school.
 Less than a quarter of schools have
told pupils that homophobic bullying
is wrong.

“150,000 gay pupils
suffer abuse”
“Safe to Learn” – the 2007 anti-bullying
guidance from the government’s
Department for Children, Schools and
Families states;
“The government has made tackling
bullying in schools a key priority …no form
of bullying should be tolerated. Bullying
should be taken very seriously; it is not a
normal part of growing up and it can ruin
lives. Teaching about sexual orientation
does not mean teaching about sex or
sexual activity. Instead, it is about
teaching pupils about difference and
diversity. Teaching about sexual
orientation, and bullying, will prevent
homophobic bullying”.
OFSTED states that “schools should make
sure that homophobic attitudes do not
go unchallenged”
Despite such clear and positive guidelines,
locally or nationally organised groups still
campaign to keep sexual orientation
invisible or stigmatised in schools. Such
campaigns use myths and fear to
undermine positive attempts to address
same sex relationships within the
curriculum or to include homophobia
within anti-bullying strategies. These
campaigns provoke sensationalist and
inaccurate headlines that focus solely on
sex and are intended to alarm parents. As
a result, some teachers and schools still
lack the confidence or the will to fulfill
their legal and moral responsibilities to
challenge bullying and promote inclusion.
“Children as young as seven taught gay
history in a campaign that urges
teachers to introduce pupils to sexual
and swear words”
Daily Mail, 4 January 2006
In spite of such opposition, combating
homophobic bullying and promoting
inclusivity is essential for attainment and
the wellbeing of everyone within schools.
Pupils and teachers alike will achieve less
and are less likely to stay in a school
where they are subject to homophobic
bullying. It also helps young people
develop informed values that will enable
them to participate effectively as citizens
in our diverse society. School-based
approaches to achieving this include
developing an inclusive curriculum,
directly tackling homophobia, working
13
with parents, anti-bullying policies,
pastoral support and a positive working
environment.
 Personal identity and
self-esteem
“Over three in five young lesbian, gay
and bisexual people feel that there is
neither an adult at home nor at school
who they can talk to about being gay.”
The School Report, survey of 1,145
young lesbian, gay and bisexual people
by Stonewall (2007)
For young people growing up as lesbian,
gay or bisexual it can be particularly hard
without access to information about sexual
orientation or to people with whom they
can safely discuss their feelings. Such a lack
of support can lead young people to
conceal their sexual orientation for fear of
rejection and they may develop
“internalised homophobia” that could
cause ill-health or risk-taking activities.
Similarly children of lesbian, gay or bisexual
parents may feel they have to hide the fact
that they have two mums or two dads
because they fear other people’s reactions.
14
Fortunately legislative change, increased
LGB visibility and tools such as the
internet now offer more support and
opportunities for social contact. This does
not however take away the
responsibilities from schools, youth
services, advice and counselling agencies
to offer appropriate services for LGB
people of all ages seeking information,
advice and support.
“While many minority groups are the
target for prejudice and discrimination
in our society, few people face this
hostility without the support and
acceptance of their family as do many
LGB young people”Karen Harbeck,
American educationalist
For some LGB people, life can feel like a
constant challenge to be treated fairly and
with respect. A study by Imperial College
London in 2004 suggested a link between
levels of homophobic discrimination and
mental ill-health among LGB people,
causing higher anxiety and depression.
 Unfair and discriminatory
treatment
Of course, being lesbian, gay or bisexual
should not impact upon the way people
are treated when they go about their daily
lives; going to the doctors, booking a
holiday, reporting a crime or looking for a
My ths:
good book in a public library. Yet the
reality is different. Although new “If LGB people didn’t
legislation has brought significant
improvements, public health services have make such a fuss,
provided inappropriate or inferior they wouldn’t be
treatment, couples have been refused
hotel accommodation because they are
treated any
LGB, the police have treated the victims of differently”
some violent crimes as criminals
themselves and libraries have refused to
stock books that have LGB storylines. “being lesbian, gay
“Gay murder inquiries marred by or bisexual simply
homophobia”
Daily Mail, 15 May 2007
isn’t an issue in 21st
century Britain”
At work, the first ever legislation - the
Employment Equality (Sexual Orientation)
Regulations - was introduced in 2003 to
protect people from workplace  Hate crime
discrimination on the basis of sexual
orientation. ACAS (the national Advisory, The Association of Chief Police Officers
Conciliation and Arbitration Service) has (ACPO) defines a hate crime as “any hate
conducted research into employment incident, which constitutes a criminal
cases taken since which shows that they offence, perceived by the victim or any
other person as being motivated by
mainly involve bullying, unfair treatment
and harassment including threats and prejudice or hate”.
physical assaults.

In March 2008 a YouGov survey of 1721
lesbian, gay and bisexual people across
Britain found;
 1 in 5 people had experienced a
homophobic hate crime or incident over
the last 5 years with 1 in 8 being a
victim in the last 12 months
 1 in 6 of the incidents over the last three
years were physical assaults
 7 out of 10 victims did not report the
incident to anybody – their reasons
included; fear of being “outed”, lack of
confidence in the police, belief they
would face further discrimination
“Insults and minor attacks are a part of
our day-to-day lives and so often we do
not realise we should report them or
seek help. From an early age, we are
bullied in the playground, attacked for
who we are or beaten for who we date”
Lucy 25, North East (Stonewall survey)
For the majority of victims of homophobic
hate crime, their assailant is an unknown
male under the age of 25. Often these
incidents occur repeatedly and around
their own homes. Being a victim of any
form of crime is distressing. Hate crime is
even more personal because it happens
15
solely as a result of others’ perceptions
about you. The police and criminal justice
system have improved their response to
My ths:
homophobic hate crime though training
and working with LGB groups. However
experience of hate crime will not decrease
“Playing sport
until hatred towards certain groups is makes boys into real
reduced. This is why education and public
awareness measures are so important in
men but girls are
creating positive and inclusive more likely to be
communities.
lesbian”
 Negative stereotyping
While many in the general population
still believe that they have no contact “Lesbians are butch
with lesbian, gay or bisexual people, while gay men are
it’s easy for negative stereotypes to
develop, particularly if they are effeminate”
reinforced through the media. Many
of our cultural points of reference as a
society either ignore LGB people or
present them negatively.
“Bisexuals are just
Common stereotypes portray all lesbians
greedy and want the
as being masculine and gay men as being best of all worlds”
effeminate. At the root of this myth lie
beliefs about gender roles and so-called
masculine or feminine behaviour.
Although the concept of gender today is
16
becoming more fluid, we are still heavily
influenced by our recent past. Historically
for example, jobs have been defined as
“men’s work” or “women’s work”. Certain
skills such as caring, creativity or
communication are still sometimes
wrongly believed to be more feminine
while others such as decision-making or
leadership are seen as masculine. Even
colours have fixed meanings – how many
baby outfits do you find for boys in pink or
girls in blue? This is where issues of
gender (what it means to be a man or a
woman) and sexual orientation (who you
are attracted to) start to overlap. Such
gender stereotypes can cause a
“tomboyish” girl who likes sport to be
labelled a lesbian at school, while even at
nursery age, a boy who prefers dressing-
up to football can face terms of
homophobic abuse such as “poof”.
Whilst bisexual people may be subject to
these same stereotypes by wider society if
they are in a same sex relationship, they
can also be subject to different prejudices
from lesbian and gay people. These
include the false suggestions that
bisexuals simply want the best of all
worlds or alternatively that they are gay
people who are afraid to “come out”.
Of course none of these stereotypes
determine sexual orientation and they can
be applied equally to heterosexual people.
They can change with time and fashion
(David Beckham in a sarong for example)
and are more about how people express
themselves than about their actual or
perceived sexual orientation. Labelling
people with stereotypes or drawing
attention to specific (but irrelevant)
aspects of their appearance simply makes
it easier for individuals and organisations
to subtly reinforce deeper prejudices.
A tabloid with a largely anti-gay editorial
stance featured a woman who had won
an employment tribunal against the
British army for harassment and
victimisation including a prominent
photograph and the headline “Bullied
lesbian soldier arrives at compensation
hearing with 6ft 2in German girlfriend”.
The choice of picture and caption were
deliberate and sensationalist. The
irrelevant references to height and
nationality played on issues of
masculinity and national identity.
September 2008
 Media representation
Such stereotypes occur in every
aspect of life from face to face
encounters to the place where most
people first come across issues of
sexual orientation – the television.
Research by Stonewall in 2005 into
portrayals of LGB people on the BBC
(Tuned Out) found;
 The majority of heterosexual viewers
first encounter lesbian, gay and bisexual
people through television programmes
 LGB lives are five times more likely to be
portrayed in negative terms than
positive ones
 51% of all LGB references were designed
for comic effect and referred mainly to
stereotypes of sexually predatory or
camp and effeminate gay men
 There was a failure to present LGB
people in everyday scenarios such as
stable relationships or family life
Whilst the media has certainly increased
lesbian, gay and bisexual visibility, it has
not always done this in an accurate or
responsible manner. Sensational headlines

and larger-than-life characters may grab
attention but they do not reflect the
reality of most lesbian, gay and bisexual
people’s everyday existence. Media
reactions to and treatment of LGB stories
and characters must be no different to
comparable heterosexual ones.
 “It’s all about sex” –
the over-emphasis of one
dimension
Sexual orientation is distinct from
sexual behaviour. No-one would
seriously suggest that being
heterosexual is only about having sex,
yet it is still common for lesbian, gay
and bisexual people to be labelled as
concerned entirely about sex.
At the same time as this dismissive moral
judgement is made, some sections of the
public and media retain an obsessive but
contradictory fascination with the issue.
Contact between women is portrayed in
an almost pornographic way, while the
same contact between men is presented
as threatening and dangerous.
“Sienna Miller shares steamy lesbian kiss
in new movie”
Daily Mail, 16 December 2007
“Complaints pour in after EastEnders
screens gay kiss before the watershed”
Daily Mail, 9 October 2008
Sex stories are guaranteed to get
attention and sell papers:
“Gay row over Downs plan”
Bristol Evening Post, 7 July 2008
“Scrubland cleared...at an area known as
‘Fairyland’ ”
Bristol Evening Post, 9 December 2008
This obsession with sexual behaviour
reinforces myths that lesbian, gay and
bisexual people are promiscuous and
predatory. It fails to mention that people
who engage, for instance, in public
outdoor sex are both LGB and
heterosexual. It is sometimes linked to
suggestions of exploitative or illegal
sexual activity such as paedophilia that is
no more accepted amongst LGB people
than it is amongst heterosexual people.
17
As a result, some people believe that
children are more at risk around gay men
than around heterosexual men.
Such unsupported and inaccurate
allegations are made with the deliberate
intention of provoking reactions of disgust
or fear and making LGB people out to be
threatening, outside social norms and
criminally motivated.
Such myths also deny the reality of long-
term stable same sex partnerships. Most
obituaries of the composer Sir Michael
Tippett who died recently aged 98
dismissed him as “unmarried”, ignoring
his lifelong openly gay relationship and
making invisible an enduring and
committed partnership.
My ths:
“All gay people are
promiscuous and only
interested in sex”
18 3 What are the keys laws protecting LGB
people’s rights?
In 1967 Parliament passed the law
that “decriminalised homosexuality”
in the UK. In the 40 years since,
hundreds of pieces of discriminatory
legislation have been amended or
repealed and new protections
established. This has led small but
vociferous minorities to argue that
lesbian, gay and bisexual people are
now somehow getting “special” or
“privileged” treatment. However the
vast majority of the population
support treating everyone fairly. A
YouGov poll in The Observer in 2007
found that 90% of UK citizens
supported legislation to outlaw
discrimination on the basis of
sexual orientation.
So what areas of life does some of  In relationships
this legislation affect? In 2001, the age of consent for all young
 In the workplace men and women was equalised at 16. This
rectified years of discrimination and
The Employment Equality (Sexual
respected young people’s rights to make
Orientation) Regulations (2003) protect
informed decisions about their own
everyone from discrimination on the basis
of sexual orientation. The regulations
relationships, rather than criminalising
cover all employment issues including
those who knew they were lesbian, gay
or bisexual.
recruitment, pay, terms and conditions,
policies, harassment and dismissal. Prior The Civil Partnership Act (2004) enabled
to this law it was not illegal for an same-sex couples to register as civil
employer to sack a member of staff for partners and gain the same legal rights
being LGB. and responsibilities as married couples.
 Accessing goods and services This includes financial responsibilities,
pensions, inheritance rights, and next of
All of us buy things and use a variety of
kin status. Commitment in a relationship is
public and private services every day. The
not just about the joint bank account and
Sexual Orientation Regulations (2007)
protect everyone from discrimination on
shared housing – it’s also about making a
public affirmation of your love. Same sex
the basis of their sexual orientation. This
couples have always formed lifelong,
regulation covers all sectors and includes
committed relationships and this law gives
services as diverse as housing, education,
them legal and social recognition.
finance, retail, leisure and healthcare.
People can no longer pick and choose who
they want to do business with on the
basis of prejudices about their sexual
orientation.
 19

 In the family place. It will particularly address areas

relating to sexual orientation, age and
Many lesbian, gay and bisexual people
religion/belief that have been not covered
have children and a non-biological co-
in previous legislation. It is likely to
parent can gain recognition of their status
introduce positive duties on public bodies
in relation to the child through the courts.
to promote equality in relation to sexual
Single lesbian, gay and bisexual people
orientation similar to existing duties on
have always been allowed to apply to
race, gender and disability.
adopt. The Adoption and Children Act
2002 now allows same-sex couples to These legal advances are far from “special
apply for adoption jointly. No-one in the treatment”. They begin to rectify long-
UK has the right to adopt; they only have standing injustices and ensure all people
the right to apply for assessment are treated fairly and equally.
according to a consistent set of criteria.

 In public life
Under existing gender, race and disability
legislation, the public sector has
responsibilities to be proactive in
promoting equality and tackling
discrimination. The Government has been
looking at how to harmonise equalities
laws to ensure the same standards of
protection apply to everyone in Britain.
My ths:
The Single Equality Bill was announced in
the Queen’s speech in December 2008 to “LGB people are
be brought to Parliament within 12
months. This bill strengthens and
always looking for
streamlines discrimination legislation to ‘special treatment’ ”
make Britain a fairer and more equal
20 4 Lesbian, gay and bisexual people in
families and relationships
Families in Britain today come in all
My ths: shapes and sizes, reflecting social
changes that have been occurring
over the last 50 years. These include
changing patterns of marriage,
cohabitation and divorce, greater
“Gay people geographical mobility, more single
undermine family person households, and differing
birth and death rates. Although
values” family structures may change, most
people still share similar values.
They want security for themselves,
“Lesbian, gay and their children and elderly relatives.
bisexual people They want to feel part of a social
group and they expect certain levels
don’t form lasting of behaviour and respect within
relationships” their community.
Some people use the term “family values”
to reflect a more traditional viewpoint
and a certain moral perspective. Their
suggestion is that lesbian, gay and
bisexual people have undermined this. In
reality, it is questionable whether there
ever was an age of “perfect families”.
There is little doubt that recent trends
have more to do with broader social
attitudes than the impact of LGB people.
The reality is that most LGB people are
born to heterosexual parents and have
always been part of families. Changes in
laws and attitudes have simply allowed
LGB people to be more open about their
own family relationships.
Despite little social or legal support,
lesbian, gay and bisexual people have
always formed long-lasting relationships –
although often hidden and
unacknowledged.
The historian John Boswell conducted
research into ceremonies of same sex
union that existed in the eastern
Christian church from the sixth through
the sixteenth century. He found formal
structures to celebrate emotional bonds
between men and no specific negativity
relating to homosexuality.
Christianity, Social Tolerance and
Homosexuality (1980)
The Marriage of Likeness: Same-Sex
Unions in Pre-Modern Europe 1994

It has been a tactic of opponents of LGB
equality to simultaneously dismiss the
reality of long-term relationships whilst
also campaigning to keep them from legal
recognition. As a result couples who
shared their whole lives together could
not be recognised as next of kin or even as
joint owners/tenants of their family
home. Civil partnerships were introduced
in 2004 to end this discrimination and for
the first time in Britain, couples could
choose to commit to the same rights and
responsibilities as are available through
marriage. In 2007–2008, Bristol Registry
office registered 629 Register Office
marriages and 81 civil partnerships – so of
every eight partnerships registered last
year, seven were heterosexual marriages
and one was a same sex union.
But expectations of same sex unions
shouldn’t be any higher than equivalent
heterosexual ones. Unfortunately just as
some marriages end in divorce so some
civil partnerships will also break down.
Equally like heterosexual people, not all
lesbian, gay and bisexual people will want
to make a legal commitment and may
simply chose to live together – this
21
doesn’t imply less commitment just
different choices. Similarly LGB people
may live in a single person household or
My ths:
not be in a relationship at all.
“Lesbian, gay and
Because there are no national statistics
on sexual orientation, there are no
bisexual people
overall figures detailing the number of can’t have children”
lesbian, gay or bisexual parents in
Britain. However from analysing other
data, a conservative estimate is that
around 1 in 6 lesbian, gay or bisexual “Children of
adults are parents or co-parents. lesbian, gay and
Although many of these children were
born when their parents were in a bisexual people do
heterosexual relationship, the last 20 less well
years has seen a sharp rise in the
numbers of LGB people (in particular
developmentally”
lesbian and bisexual women) planning
and forming families through birth,
adoption or fostering. differences between children of LGB
parents and children of heterosexual
All reputable studies show that children of
parents in four critical areas:
lesbian, gay and bisexual parents do as
well as those of heterosexual parents. • their intelligence
• their psychological adjustment
The largest and most rigorous study
by the American Psychiatric • their social adjustment
Association found no developmental • their popularity with friends
22
Lesbian, gay and bisexual parents do all
the same things as other parents to care
for and nurture their children. They cook
dinners, change nappies, help with
homework, read bedtime stories and
worry when teenagers are back late.
Children also find positive male and
female role models, with most LGB
parents making sure that their children
have consistent, positive contact with
teachers, grandparents, aunts and uncles,
friends and neighbours.
Final word
“Hatred and prejudice are such
destructive forces. They destroy human
beings, communities and whole societies
— and they destroy the hater, too, from
the inside. Reading words of
homophobia shows we all have within
us a seed, a potential that can grow into
prejudice, hatred and destruction. But
prejudice is a bleak wasteland.
Sometimes for all the reasons described
earlier, LGB parents and their children will
face discrimination and prejudice. This
cannot be used to argue against LGB
parenting. Just as minority ethnic parents
help their children cope with racism, LGB
parents support and guide their children
in handling homophobia. Unsurprisingly,
all of this can cause additional stress on
top of the ordinary challenges of family
life. Indeed, some LGB parents feel society
demands higher standards, somehow
expecting them to prove themselves as
“better” parents.
A parent who brings up a child to be a
racist damages that child, damages the
community in which they live, damages
our hopes for a better world. A parent
who teaches a child that there is only
one sexual orientation and that
anything else is evil denies our humanity
and their own too.
Desmond Tutu – writing in The Times, July 2004
(Archbishop of Cape Town 1986–1996, anti-apartheid activist, Nobel peace prize holder)
Finally, it is important to realise that a
parent’s sexual orientation does not
dictate his or her children’s. Most lesbian,
gay and bisexual people have parents who
identify as heterosexual.
At the heart of any family, it is the love,
support, guidance and commitment that
a parent gives to their child that defines
the quality of the relationship and the
child’s well-being.
We cannot answer hate with hate. We
can only answer it with love,
understanding and a belief in and
commitment to justice. This is how we
will build a world of human
understanding, compassion and
equality: a true rainbow world”
5 Contacts and further information 23

The following pages provide links for  Contact list  Educational

Action Challenging
third party organisations offering a homophobia (EACH)
range of support and information to Local groups and support in and Based in Bristol. Actionline for young
the public in Bristol and beyond. around Bristol. people affected by homophobic
Bristol City Council does not endorse bullying, and to report homophobic
and is not liable or responsible for  Bristol
Lesbian, Gay and incidents and hate crime
these sites or the information, Bisexual Forum Tel: 0808 1000 143.
Tel: 0117 352 5633 Also training agency for employers
merchandise or services contained or
www.bristol-lgb-forum.org.uk and organisations
offered by these sites. Tel: 0117 946 7607
 Freedom Youth
Further listings are provided online in www.eachaction.org.uk
Social and support group for
the equality and diversity section of 14–21 year olds.  Pridewest
Bristol City Council’s website. Tel: 0117 377 3677 Online gay community for Bristol,
www.freedomyouth.co.uk Somerset and Wiltshire
www.bristol.gov.uk wwww.pridewest.co.uk
 Bristol Families and Friends (FFLAG)
support group based in Bristol run  Lesbian
and Gay Christian
by/for families and friends of lesbians, Movement, Bristol
gay men and bisexual women and men. Tel: 0117 982 1512
Tel: 01454 85 2418 alan.wilkins0@tinyworld.co.uk
www.fflag.org.uk
 Bristol
Lesbian and Gay
Switchboard For further information about local groups
Telephone information, support and and contacts please contact the Equalities
referrals open 8–10pm, Monday to team at Bristol City Council.
Thursday. 0117 922 2658/2329
Tel: 0117 922 1328 equalities.team@bristol.gov.uk
www.bristolblags.org.uk
24

 Further information Parents and families Sexual orientation and religion

 Families  Lesbian
National resources covering topics and Friends of Lesbians and gay Christian
addressed in this booklet and Gays (FFLAG) movement for an inclusive church
Young people, schools and See previous entry for information. Tel: 020 7739 1249
homophobic bullying www.lgcm.org.uk
 Imaan
Social and support group for lesbian,  Quest
 Connexions
gay, bisexual and transgender Muslims Group for lesbian and gay Catholics.
Information and advice for and their friends and families. Helpline: 0808 808 0234
young people. Tel: 07849 170 793 www.questgaycatholic.org.uk
Tel: 0808 0013 219 www.imaan.org.uk
www.connexions-direct.com  Al-Fatiha
 Schools Out  Pink Parents UK branch of an international
Working towards equality in education. Offers a range of support services and organisation for lesbian, gay, bisexual
www.schools-out.org.uk social activities for all LGBT families. and transgender Muslims.
www.pinkparents.org.uk www.al-fatiha.org
 Educational
Action Challenging
homophobia (EACH) Legal and policy issues  Imaan
See previous entry for information. Social and support group for lesbian,
 www.teachernet.gov.uk  Stonewall gay, bisexual and transgender Muslims
National organisation campaigning for and their friends and families – see
 Childline
equality and justice for lesbians, gay above for information.
National freephone service
men and bisexuals.
supporting young people.  Jewish gay and lesbian group
www.childline.org.uk www.stonewall.org.uk
Tel: 07504 924 742
 Equality
Tel: 0800 11 11 and Human Rights www.jglg.org.uk
Commission
Tel: 0845 604 6610
Text phone 0845 604 6620
www.equalityhumanrights.com
 25

 Gayand lesbian Vaishnava Sexual orientation and ethnicity Rural issues

association for LGB Hindus
www.galva108.org  Support
and information for  Sticks and stones
gay Somalians Anti homophobic bullying website for
 Groupfor lesbian, gay, bisexual and
www.somaligaycommunity.org rural areas in UK
transgender Sikhs
www.ruralmedia.co.uk/sticks/index.htm
www.sarbat.net  Black gay men’s advisory group
Black gay and bisexual men of African  Intercom Trust
Sexual orientation and disability and African Caribbean parentage Helpline: 0845 6020 818
working to challenge homophobia www.intercomtrust.org.uk
 Regard and racism.
National organisation providing www.bgmag.org.uk  Equality South West
support, social contact, information and Tel: 01823 250 833
referrals for disabled lesbians, gay men, www.equalitysouthwest.org.uk
bisexuals and transgender people.
www.regard.org.uk

Sexual orientation and age

 Age Concern
Provide support and information
resources for older LGB people.
www.ageconcern.org.uk
  If you would like this information in a different
format, for example braille, audiotape, large print or
computer disk, or community languages,
please contact 0117 922 2329 or
equalities.team@bristol.gov.uk

www.bristol.gov.uk

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