BILLYBUNTERS BARRINGOUT

By FRANKRICHARDS

Illustratedby R.J.MACDONALD

CHARLESSKILTONLTD LONDON

 BADLUCKFORBOB "Youwillgoon,Bunter!" "Oh!"gaspedBillyBunter.ItwasjustlikeQuelch! TheyweredoingCaesarinthirdschool,intheRemoveformroom.HarryWhartonwason"con", andWharton'sconstruewassogoodthatMr.Quelch'scrustycountenancehadmeltedintoasmile ofapprobation. HisattentionwasfixedonWharton:andBillyBunterhadnaturallysupposedthathewassafe fromthegimleteyeforaminuteortwo. Bunterhadbeenwaitingforasafemoment,totransferastickychunkoftoffeefromasticky pockettoastickymouth. Hehadtobecautious.Itwasriskytochewtoffeeinclass.BillyBunterwasnotthefellowtorun risksifhecouldhelpit. Butonthisoccasion,Bunterreallyhadnochoiceinthematter.HehadfoundthattoffeeinVernon Smith'sstudyonlyjustbeforethebellrangforthirdschool,sotherehadbeennotimetodevourit beforehehadtorollintotheformroomwiththeRemove.Tokeepitinhispockettillafterclass wasscarcelypossibleforBunter.TheinnerBunteryearnedforthetoffeethatwasgrowing warmerandstickiereverymomentinhistrousers'pocket. SoBillyBunterkepthiseyes,andhisspectacles,gluedonQuelch,waitingforhisformmaster's attentiontobeconcentratedelsewhere. NowitseemedtobeconcentratedonHarryWharton:andBuntermadetheventure. Afatstickyhandgropedinastickypocket,andcameoutwithastickychunk,whichinanother momentwouldhavebeenparkedinacapaciousmouth.Butatthatmomentthegimleteyeshot roundtoBunter,andQuelchrappedtohimto"goon". ItwasQuelchallover.Somebeaksfounditeasierworktoconcentrateonaptpupils,andforget thebackwardones.TherewerefellowsintheFourthFormwhohadbrowsedcomfortablyonthe backbenchesinMr.Capper'sformroomforwholeterms,theirexistencehardlynotedbyCapper. ButQuelchwasnotlikethat.Quelchwasawhaleonduty.AllthemorebecauseWhartonwasa

CHAPTERI

nerverestincomparisonwithBunter,QuelchcuthimshortandwhirledroundontheOwlofthe Remove. BillyBunterwasnotanaptpupilfarfromit.Hisrootedobjectiontolearninganythingwasonly equalledbyhisremarkablegiftforforgettinganythingthathehadtolearn.Atthemoment,Bunter wasevenlessinterestedthanusualintheGallicWar.HavingreachedtheperiodofCaesar's invasionofBritain,someofthejuniorsfoundaspotofinterestinit.Itwasatnogreatdistance fromthesiteofGreyfriarsSchoolthatCaesarhadlandedwithhislegions.ButBillyBuntercouldn't havecaredless.Bunterwasdeeplyinterestedintoffee. Butthegimleteyewasuponhim:andhesatwiththestickychunkclutchedinafathand,not daringtopushitbackintohistrousers'pocket,stilllesstoliftittohismouth,underthatgimlet eye.IfQuelchspottedthattoffee,itmeanttroubleforBunter. "Didyouhearme,Bunter?" "Oh!Yes,sir!" "Goonatonce." "Yes,sir!IIthinkII'velostmyplace,"stammeredBunter,togainamoment. ThatwasnotveryusefulwithQuelch.Quelchexpectedmembersofhisformtofollowthelesson withattention. "Bunter!Ifyouhavebeensoinattentive!" "Oh,no,sir!Imean,yes,sir!ImeanIhaven'tlostmyplace"stutteredBunter. "Goonfrom'frigoribus',"whisperedBobCherry,tohelpthefatjuniorout.Bobwasalwaysgood natured.ButitwasnotalwayssafetoindulgegoodnatureundertheeyeofHenrySamuelQuelch. "DidyouspeaktoBunter,Cherry?" "Oh!Yes,sir." "Takefiftylines!Bunter,goonimmediately.Ifyouhavelostyourplace,itcanbedueonlytoidle inattention,and." "Oh,no,sir!II'vegotitallright!"gaspedBunter. "Thengoonatonce!"rappedMr.Quelch. Tostandupandconstrue,withthatchunkoftoffeeinhisfathand,wastoinviteinstantdetection. BillyBunterhadtogetridofthatchunkoftoffee,pricelessasitwas.Bunterwasnotabright fellow,butperilsharpensthewits.Herose,contrivedtostumbleashedidso,andrestedafat handforasecondonBobCherry'sknee.Thenextsecond,hewasperpendicularleavingthe chunkonBob'sknee,stickingtohistrousers. "Insulanaturatriquetra"mumbledBunter,goingonfrom"frigoribus". "Construe!"snappedMr.Quelch. BillyBunterproceededtoconstrue.Hewassafefromdiscoverynowthetoffee,evenif discovered,wasnolongerinhispossession.HehopedthatBobwouldnotsuccumbtothe temptationofeatingit! Really,therewasnodangerofthat.AstickychunkthathadgathereddustandfluffinBunter's trousers'pocketwasnotlikelytotemptanyotherfellowintheRemove. BobCherrystareddownatthatstickylumponhisknee,anddrewadeepbreath.Bobwasnot, perhaps,quitesocarefulwithhisclothes,assomefellowsintheform,likeWharton,orNugent,or LordMauleverer.Butnofellowcouldbeexpectedtolikestickytoffeeadheringtohistrousers.Bob wouldgladlyhavekickedBunteratthatmoment,hadsuchaproceedingbeenfeasibleunder Quelch'seye. Hetookthechunkbetweenfingerandthumb,intendingtodropitonthefloor,withareckless disregardofitspricelessnesstoBillyBunter. "Cherry!" WellhadQuelch'seyesbeencompared,bytheRemovefellows,togimlets! Bobjumped. "Yes,sir!"hestammered."Whatisthat,Cherry?" "That,sir!Oh,nnnothing,sir." "Youhavesomethinginyourhand,Cherry,whichyouhavejusttakenfromunderyourdesk.Stand upatonceandshowmewhatitis." "IIhaven'ttakenanythingfromundermydesk,sir."

"Haveyouanythinginyourhandornot?" "Oh!II." "Standup,andopenyourhand!"rappedMr.Quelch."Therewasnohelpforit.Withacrimson face,Bobrosetohisfeet,andalleyesintheRemoveturnedonhim.Hisfriends,Whartonand Nugent,JohnnyBullandHurreeJamsetRamSingh,stared,wonderingwhatthematterwas. Skinner,whohadseenitall,winkedatSnoop,whogrinned.BillyBunterblinkeddolorouslyatBob throughhisbigspectacles.Thatchunkoftoffee,onlytooclearly,wasagonernow.Bunterhad savedhimself:buthehadnotsavedthetoffee.ThefatOwlwassodeeplyconcernedaboutthe toffee,thathehadnotimetobeconcernedabouttheunfortunateBob. "Uponmyword!"ejaculatedMr.Quelch,asBobCherry,hisfaceburning,revealedthestickychunk inhishand."Isisisthattoffee!Toffee!Uponmyword!Cherry,howdareyoubringsuch comestiblesintotheformroom!Pah!" "II,"mumbledBob. "Oh,myhat!"murmuredVernonSmith,"Cherryguzzlingstickersinclass,likethatfatoctopus Bunter!" "Cherry!Standoutbeforetheform!" BobgaveBillyBunteronelook.Bunterdidnotevenseeit.Hiseyesandhisspectacleswere fastenedonthetoffeenowabouttodisappearforever!Bobtrampedoutbeforetheform:his face,alwaysratherruddyunderhismopofflaxenhair,lookinglikeapeonyashefacedhis frowningformmaster. "Dropthatintothewastepaperbasketatonce,"rappedMr.Quelch,withagestureofdistaste towardstheoffendingchunk. Bobdroppeditintothewastepaperbasket. "Cherry!Iamsurprisedatthis!Ishouldnotbesosurprisedinthecaseofagreedy,stupidboylike Bunter.InyourcaseIamsurprisedshockedImaysaydisgusted!Yourfingersare smearedstickypah!Leavetheformroomatonceandwashyourhandsandtakecarethatthey arequitecleanwhenyoureturn." Bobgasped.IthadhappenedtoBillyBunter,morethanonce,tobesentoutoftheformroomto washhisgrubbyfatpaws.BobCherryhadneverdreamedthatitwouldeverhappentohim.Now ithad! "Youwillstayintheformroomafterclass,andwriteoutthewholelesson,"addedMr.Quelch. "Now,goandIrepeat,Ishallexpecttoseeyourhandsquitecleanwhenyoureturn." TheformroomdoorclosedonBob'sburningears. BillyBunterresumedhisinterrupted"con",handingoutevenworsehowlersthanusual,which wasnotsurprisingforBunterwasnaturallyworriedabouthistoffee.Mr.Quelchrewardedhim withahundredlines,andcalledPeterTodd,whowasgoingstrongwhenBobCherrycamebackto theformroomhisfingerswerenolongersticky,buthisfacewasstillcrimson.HegaveBuntera glareashedroppedintohisplace. Mr.Quelch'sattentionwasfixedonToddy,andthefatOwlventuredtowhisper. "Yousillyass!Whatdidyoulethimseethetoffeefor?" "Youfatvillain!"hissedBob."Oh,really,Cherry." "Afterclass,I'mgoingtokickyouallroundGreyfriars,andbackagain,"breathedBob. "Beast!" MostofthefellowsweresorryforoldBobwhentheyfiledoutoftheformroom,andlefthim solitarythere,withtheLatinlessontowriteout.ButBillyBunter,however,couldnothelp thinkingthatitwasallforthebesthedidnotwanttobekickedallroundGreyfriarsandback again.OtherfellowsgaveBobCherrysympatheticglancesastheywentBillyBunter'sparting glancelingeredonthewastepaperbasket,wherethetoffeereposedgonefromhisgazelikea beautifuldream!
CHAPTERII

SHIRTY!

"SEENBunter?" BobCherrysnapped,ratherthanasked,thatquestion.ItwasquiteunusualforBobtosnap.He waseasilythebesttemperedfellowintheLowerFourthFormatGreyfriars.Generallyhisface wassunny,hisvoicecheery.Hisfriendslookedathiminsurprise,ashecametrampingoutofthe Housewithaknittedbrow. HarryWhartonandFrankNugent,JohnnyBullandHurreeJamsetRamSingh,werewaitingfor him.Whartonhadanoldfooterunderhisarm,whichthejuniorsweregoingtopuntaboutbefore dinner.TheydidnotexpectBobtolookhisbonniest,afterhisexperienceinthirdschool,andafter sittingintheformroomwritingoutCaesar.ButneitherdidtheyexpecthimtolooklikeSmithin oneofhis"tantrums". "Bunter?"repeatedHarryWharton."Yeshe'sinthequadsomewhere.Youdon'twantBunter." "Ijollywelldo!"growledBob. "FirsttimeI'veeverheardofanybodywantingBunter,"remarkedFrankNugent."Nevermind Buntercomeandhelpuspuntthisballaboutthere'stimebeforetiffin." "IwanttoseeBunterfirst,"gruntedBob."I'mgoingtokickhimallovertheschool.I'llpunt Bunter,nottheball." "ButwhythepuntfulnessoftheesteemedandridiculousBunter?"askedHurreeJamsetRam Singh. Snort,fromBob. "Didn'tyouseeQuelchyjumponmeinclass?Wereyousittinginformwithyoureyesshut?" "Hem!"murmuredHarryWharton.BobCherry,foronce,wasshirtyonlytooclearlyhewas shirty.Itwasunusualbutthereitwas. "Idon'tseethatyouwanttobootBunterforthat,"saidJohnnyBull,staringatBob'sflushedface. "Youcan'ttakeitoutofBunterbecausethebeakdroppedonyouforsmugglingstickersintothe formroom." "Yousillyass!"hootedBob. "Lookhere!" "Isupposeyoucouldn'ttalksenseifyoutried,"snortedBob."Notthatyou'veevertried,sofarasI know." "Oh,packitup,"saidJohnny."Iknowit'sprettyrottentobesentoutoftheformroomtowash, butwhatthedickensdoyouexpect,ifyou'reasstickyasBunter?Nogoodslangingyourpals becauseyougotwhatyouaskedfor." "DoyouthinkItookthattoffeeintotheformroom?"shriekedBob. "OfcourseIdo,asyouhaditinyourhandwhenQuelchspottedyou.Whatdoyoumean?" "ItwasBunter's,"howledBob. "Wasit?"saidJohnnyBull."Well,ifitwasBunter's,whycouldn'tyouleaveitalone?IfBunter offeredmetoffeeinclass,Ishouldleaveitalone." "Youditheringchump,hedidn'tofferittome"ravedBob."Hewasgoingtowolfit,whenQuelch puthimoncon,andhejammeditonmykneetokeepQuelchfromspottingit,youyammeringass, andIwasgoingtochuckitaway,youblitheringfathead,andthat'showIgotmyfingerssticky,you benightedcuckoo,andthatassQuelch." "Easydoesit,oldman!"saidHarryWharton,hastily."Quelchisinthequad,andifheheardyou payinghimcomplimentslikethat." "BlowQuelch!"snortedBob. "Theblowfulnessofanesteemedbeakisnotthepropercaper,myworthyBob,"murmured HurreeJamsetRamSingh."Comeandpunttheball." "Bothertheball!" "andletthefrownofterrificinfuriationbeobliteratedbythesmileofrestoredequanimity," urgedthenabobofBhanipur. "I'mgoingtokickBunter!ThinkI'mgoingtobesentoutoftheformroomtowash,asifIwerea stickyanimallikeBunter?Why,I'llboothimallovertheshop!II'llbursthim!Whereishe?" "Makeanoiselikeajamtart,andhe'llcomerunning!"suggestedNugent. "Fathead!"roaredBob.Evidentlyhewasnotinthemoodforlittlejokes.Hestared,orrather glared,round,insearchofthefattestfigureatGreyfriarsSchool.

Aflashofbigspectaclesinthesunshinecaughthiseye. Aplumpfigurewasrollingtowardsthegroupofjuniors.BillyBunterwasblinkingabouthim cautiouslythroughthosebigspectacles,hislittleroundeyesverywatchfulforBobCherry.Hedid notwanttoencounterBobtillthatincensedyouthhadhadplentyoftimetocooldown.Unluckily, hislimitedvisionmadeallfellows,atalittledistance,muchofamuchnesstoBunter,andherolled directlytowardsBobwhilewatchingoutforhimsowarily. "Hallo,hallo,hallo!Thereheis!"ejaculatedBob."Holdon,oldchap!" "Brrrr!" BobrushedtomeetBunter.TheOwloftheRemoveblinkedathimashecame,andsqueaked: "Isay,Bolsover,doyouknowwhetherCherry'soutyet?Oh,crikey!"addedBunter,inanalarmed howl,asherecognisedBob."Oh,crumbs!Isay,youkeepoff!Oh,scissors!" BillyBunterrevolvedonhisaxis,andflew.AfterhimrushedBob. Bunter'slittlefatlegshadslightchanceagainstBob'slongonesinafootrace.Buthemadefrantic efforts,andthoselittlefatlegsfairlytwinkledwithspeed.Dozensoffellowsstaredroundatthe chase.Bunterchargedacrossthequad,crimsonwithexertion,puffingandblowing,hisbig spectaclesslippingdownhislittlefatnose:hardlyseeingorcaringwhitherhewent,withthat heavytreadthunderingclosebehindhim.Therewasashoutoflaughter. "Goit,Bunter!" "Putiton,porpoise." "He'sjustbehindyou,Bunter!" "Ha,ha,ha!" "Oh,myhat!"ejaculatedHarryWharton."There'sQuelch!" Fromalittledistance,Mr.Quelchstaredatthescene,withafrowningdisapprovingbrow. Greyfriarsfellowswerenotsupposedtorushaboutthequadlikeyoungcolts.Boyswillbeboys, andQuelch,whohadoncebeenaboyhimself,inthedear,deaddaysbeyondrecall,admittedit. Buttherewasalimit.Frowning,Mr.Quelchchangedthedirectionofhismajesticwalk,and advancedtointervene. BillyBunterdidnotevenseehim.Buntersawnothingashechargedon.Hehadnoideathat Quelchwasintheoffingatall,tillhecrashedintohim.Thenitwastoolate. "Oh!"gaspedMr.Quelch,ashestaggeredfromtheshock.Bunter,spluttering,rolledoverathis feet.TheRemovemastermadeafranticefforttokeephisbalanceandfailed.Hesatdown. "Oh,scissors!"gaspedBobCherry.Hestoppedjustintimetosavehimselffromcrashingintothe twoonthegroundonesprawling,theothersitting. "Uponmyword!"gurgledMr.Quelch. "Ow!Keephimoff!"roaredBillyBunter,asherolled."Isay,youfellows,keephimoff!Isay yarooooh!" Mr.Quelchpickedhimselfup.Hismortarboardwasaslant,withaslightlyintoxicatedlook.His facewasthunderous.TheglareofthefabledbasiliskhadnothingonthatwhichtheRemove masterfixedonBobCherry.Hedidnotevenlookatthesprawling,splutteringOwl.Bobhadthe wholebenefitofthatbasiliskglare. "Cherry!"gaspedMr.Quelch.Hewasalmostwinded. "Oh!Sorry,sir!"stammeredBob."II." "Howdareyou,Cherry!ThisaccidentisnotBunter'sfaultitisyoursentirelyyours!Howdare youchasethatstupidboyinsuchaaaruffianlymanner!Gotomystudyandwaitformethere." "II." "Notaword!"thunderedMr.Quelch."Go!"BobCherry,withdeepfeelings,wentintotheHouse. BillyBunter,realisingthatitwashisformmasterintowhomhehadcannoned,satup,andblinked athiminterror. "IIsay,ititwasn'tme,"splutteredBunter."IIdidn'tIIneverIIIwasn'toh, crumbs!" Mr.Quelchdidnotheedhim.Hesethismortarboardstraight,andmovedawaytowardsthe Houseslowly,andbreathingalittlestertorouslyashewent.AchargewithBunter'sweight behinditwouldhavetoldonaheftyfootballer.Ithadtoldseverelyuponamiddleagedform master.Mr.Quelchwasinapainfullydeflatedstate.Anditwasonlytooclearthathistemperhada

razorlikeedgeonit.NobodyenviedBobCherrywhatwasgoingtohappenwhenQuelcharrived inhisstudy. "Well,that'stornit!"remarkedFrankNugent,whenQuelchatlengthdisappearedintotheHouse. "Thetornfulnessisterrific!"saidHurreeJamsetRamSingh,dismally. "PooroldBob!"saidHarry.Bunteraskedforit,but." "Fellowshouldn'tlosehistemper!"saidJohnnyBull,judicially."Ifafellowloseshistemperand chargesaboutlikeamadelephant." "Isayyoufellows,"Bunterwasperpendicularoncemore,stillgaspingforbreath."Isay,think Cherry'sgoingtogetsix?" "Notmuchdoubtaboutthat,"snappedHarryWharton."Quelchlookedasifhewouldliketomake itsixty." "He,he,he!Servehimjollywellrightrushingafterafellowlikeamadbull!"gaspedBunter."I neverdidanything!FirsthegoesandletsQuelchseemytoffee,andit'sagonerthenhemakes outthatitwasmyfault!IjollywellhopethatQuelchwillgivehimadozen." "Youfat,footling,foozlingfrump." "Oh,really,Wharton." "Bob'sforit,"saidHarry."Onlyonethingwecandolet'skickBunter." "Goodegg!" "Beast!"gaspedBunter.Andhedepartedinhaste,withoutwaitingtobekicked. Afewminuteslater,fellowsnearMr.Quelch'sstudywindowheardasoundfromwithinthe rhythmicsoundofacaneontrousers.Thereweresixswipes,andeachonesoundedlikearifle shot.WhenBobCherryemergedfromtheHouse,hisruddyfacewasalittlepale,andhestill looked"shirty"moresothanever. GOODADVICENOTWANTED "ROT" "But,oldchap!" "Rot!" HerbertVernonSmithstoppedatthedoorofNo.1Study,intheRemove.Hesmiled,asarcastic smile,asheheardBobCherry'svoicefromwithin,inemphatictones.Itsoundedlikeanargument goingoninthatcelebratedstudy. "Therotfulnessisnotterrific,myesteemedBob,"camethesofttonesofHurreeJamsetRamSingh. "Isaidrot,andImeanrot!"gruntedBob. TheBounderlookedin. "Troubleinthehappyfamilycircle?"heinquired.TheFamousFivewereallthere.Itwasahalf holidaythatafternoon,andahalfholidaywasgenerallyahappyoccasion.Itdidnotseemso happyasusualnow.BobCherrywasstillfeelingtheeffectsofthatsevere"six"inQuelch'sstudy, andhisruddyfacewasclouded. HarryWhartonlookedroundatSmithy,andfrowned."Nothingofthekind,"hesaid,sharply. "Oh,we'renotrowing,Smithy,"gruntedBob."We'renotsokeenonrowsasyouare.Onlythese sillyassestalkingrotasusual." "Passon,friend,andall'swell!"saidJohnnyBull.ButtheBounderdidnotpasson.Hecameinto thestudy,andstoodleaningonthedoorpost,hishandsinhistrousers'pockets,surveyingthe chumsoftheRemove.ThathewasinterruptingadiscussiondidnotworrytheBounder.Hewas notwonttoconsiderothersverymuch. "I'vebeenlookingforyou,Cherry,"hesaid. "Well,hereIam,"saidBob."Whatdoyouwant?"HegavetheBounderratheragrimlook."If you'regoingtobefunnyaboutafellowbeingsentoutoftheformroomtowash,you'dbetter chuckitbeforeyoubegin.I'vepunchedSkinner'sheadalreadyforbeingfunnyaboutthat."
CHAPTERIII

"Notintheleast,"saidtheBounder,amicably."IhearthatyouhadsixfromQuelch,andanimpot overandabove." Bobgaveanangrygrowl. "Yes!Quelchwouldhavelikedtomakeitadozen. Hecouldn'tverywelldothat,sohechuckedinanimpotasamakeweight.I'vegottowriteoutthe wholeconjugationofamo,activeandpassiveblowit!AndQuelchsaysI'mtotakeittohimat three,whichmeansstickinginmystudyandmuckingupthehalf."Bob'sblueeyesglinted."I'mfed upwithQuelch!" "Amo,amas,amatadlibitum,andadinfinitum!"saidVernonSmith."Lookslikeajollyhalffor you,oldbean." "Doesit?"growledBob."Well,I'mgoingoutallthesame,andQuelchcanwhistleforhisimpot, see?" "Oh!"saidSmithy.HeunderstoodnowwhatwasthecauseoftheargumentinNo.1Study.Bob wasinamutinousmood,andhisfriendshadbeenreasoningwithhim.Itwastheirgoodadvice thatBobhadbeencalling"rot". "Lookhere,Bob,"saidHarryWharton. "Youcantalktillyou'reblackintheface,ifyoulike,"saidBob,"butI'mnotstickinginmystudyon agloriousafternoonlikethis,becausethatfatassBuntersmuggledstickersintotheformroom, andQuelchgotthewrongpigbytheear.We'vefixedittogoovertoHighcliffeonthebikes,and we'regoing." "MyesteemedBob!" "Canit,Inky." "Youcan'tdoit,Bob,"urgedFrankNugent."It'stoughbutitcan'tbehelped.Ifyoudon'ttakethat impottoQuelch,hewillcomeuptoyourstudyforit." "Lethim!Ishan'tbethere." "Hewillbewild,"saidJohnnyBull. "Hecanbeaswildashelikes.ItellyouI'mnotstickinginmystudywe'reridingoverto Highcliffe." Bob'sfacewassetandstubborn.Hisfriendswereanxiousandworried.Mr.Quelchwasnota mastertobedisregardedwithimpunity.Bobwasinnomoodtothinkofconsequences,buthis friendsthoughtofthemforhim. "Iwouldn'tcut,oldscout,"saidVernonSmith,shakinghisheadrathertothesurpriseoftheCo. TheyhadgivenBobgoodadvicethemselves,buttheydidnotexpectthesamefromtheBounder, whowasarebelbynature,andupagainstallauthorityonprinciple. Bobgavehisnewadviseraglare.GoodadvicefromthescapegraceofGreyfriarswasunexpected, andhehadnomoreuseforitfromtheBounderthanfromhispals. "Oh,youwouldn't,wouldn'tyou?"hegrunted."Areyougoingtotalkrotlikethesechaps?Ilike thatfromyouafellowwho'salwayskickingoverthetracesandhuntingtrouble." "Therearewaysofdoingthesethings,"saidtheBounder,withagrin."Ifyoucutwithouthanding inthatimpot,you'rejusthandingyourselfovertoQuelchboundhandandfoot.That'snotsense. YoucangetbackonQuelch,andI'llhelpyouthat'swhyIwaslookingforyou.Butyoucan'tdefy abeakthey'vegotyouifyoudo.There'ssuchathingascaution." "WhowantstogetbackonQuelch?"snortedBob."Ishouldfancyyoudo,aftergettingsix,anda realstinkerofanimpot." "Rot!"growledBob. "I'vegotajollygoodideaformakingtheoldbeansitup." "Takeitawayandboilit." "Lookhere." "Oh,canit!"snappedBob."I'mgoingovertoHighcliffe,butI'mnotgoingtoplayanyrottentricks onQuelch.That'sinyourlinenotinmine." "Funky?"sneeredtheBounder. Bob'seyesgleamed. "MindifIchuckSmithyoutofyourstudy,Wharton?"hesaid. "Notatall,"answeredHarry,laughing."Goahead."

TheBoundergavetheCo.ablacklook,stampedoutofthestudyandslammedthedoorafterhim, withaslamthatrangthelengthoftheRemovepassage.EvidentlySmithyhadexpectedBob,inthe circumstances,tobereadytojoinupinaschemeofretaliationonhis"beak".ButBobCherryhad nomoreuseforschemesofvengeancethanforgoodadvice.Hewasangryandmutinous,anda littleunreasonable,buttherewasnotaspotofvengefulnessinhisnature.Smithy,whohadmeant well,accordingtohislights,departedinhighdudgeon,leavingthestudyechoingwiththeslamof thedoor. "Sillyass!"growledBob."FatlotofgoodputtingadrawingpininQuelch'sarmchair,orguminhis inkpot!Brrrr!Lookhere,youmen,it'stimewepushedthebikesout,ifwe'regoing." "We'renotgoing,"saidHarryWharton,quietly."CourtenayandtheCaterpillarwillbejustas pleasedifwerunacrossonSaturday." "We'regoingthisafternoon." "We'renot,"saidthecaptainoftheRemove. "You'dbesorryyou'dplayedthegoat,oldchap,bythetimewegottoHighcliffe.Cutofftoyour studyandgetthatimpotdone." "Rats!" "AndthenchangeandcomedowntoLittleSide. We'llfixupapickupfortheafternoon,androundupallthefellowswhohaven'tgoneoutofgates. Aspotofsoccerwilldoyougood,oldchapafteryou'vedonethatimpot." "I'mgoingovertoHighcliffe,"saidBob,stubbornly."Rot,oldchap!"saidFrankNugent. "Rotornot,I'mgoing." "MyesteemedBob!"murmuredHurreeJamsetRamSingh. "I'vesaidI'mgoing." "Lookhere,"hootedJohnnyBull,"we'renotgoing,see?IfyougoovertoHighcliffe,you'lljollywell goonyourown." "Suityourself!"saidBob,gruffly.AndhewalkedoutofNo.1Study,shuttingthedoorafterhim withalmostasmuchemphasisastheBounderleavingtheothermembersoftheCo.looking ratherblank. NOBIKEFORBUNTER "GOINGout,Peter?" "Sortof!"assertedPeterTodd."I'mnottakingthisbikeoffthestandjustforexercise,oldfatbean." "Imean,ifyou'regoingoutonthatbike,youwon'tbeabletolendittomefortheafternoon,"said Bunter."Exactly!"agreedPeter."NottomentionthatIshouldscalpyou,slaughteryou,andboil youinoil,ifIfoundyouonmyjigger." "Oh,really,Toddy!I'vegottohaveabike,"saidBunter,peevishly."I'vegottogetovertoCliff Housethisafternoon,toseemysisterBessie." "Ha,ha,ha!"roaredPeter. "BlessedifIseeanythingtocackleat!NothingfunnyinmygoingovertoCliffHousetoseeBessie, isthere?"snortedBunter. "BobCherrystilllookingforyou?"askedPeter. "I'mnotgoingovertoCliffHousebecauseofthat,Peter.IfyouthinkI'vebeendodgingBobCherry eversincethirdschool,you'remistaken.Catchmedodginghim!I'dknockhimdownassoonas lookathim!"saidBunter,disdainfully."FatlotIcareforhim!" PeterToddchuckled.Eversincethirdschoolthatmorning,BillyBunterhadbeenleadingrathera huntedlife.Hehadhadonenarrowescapeofestablishingcontactwiththebiggestfootinthe GreyfriarsRemovesincewhen,aglimpseofBobCherryintheoffinghadbeensufficienttosend thefatOwlscuttlingforcoverlikeafatrabbit.Bob,bythattime,hadprobablyforgottenhis intentionofbootingBunterforhissins,buttheguiltyfleewhennomanpursueth. "'Tain'tthatatall,"wentonBunter."IcouldknockCherryspinningjustaseasilyasIcouldyou, Toddy."
CHAPTERIV

"Justabout!"agreedPeter. "StillIdon'twanttorowwiththechap,saidBunter."HewillgetoverthatsixfromQuelchifI steerclearofhimforabit.ButIcan'tbelookingovermyshouldereveryminutetoseeifhe's comingnotthatI'mdodginghim,youknow." "Ha,ha,ha!" "Ohcackle!"saidBunter."I'mgoingovertoCliffHousebecauseIhaven'tseenBessiethistermyet. IhopethebeastwillhavegotoverhistemperbythetimeIcomeinImean,Idon'tcaretwo strawswhetherhegetsoverhistemperornot.LiketocometoCliffHousewithme,Peter?I'lltake youwithpleasure,ifyoullgivemealiftbehindonyourbike,andthesamebackagain. "Thisisabikenotatentonlorry,"answeredPeter. "Beast!" "Whynotrideyourownjigger?"askedPeter. "HowcanIwhenthere'stwopuncturesandthemudguard'stwisted,andthechainbroken?I've askedyoutomenditadozentimesatleastandlookatit!snappedBunter."Ishallhaveto borrowabike.Mauly'swon'tdo." "Mauly'sabouttheonlymanintheRemovewhowouldn'tkickyouforborrowinghisjigger," remarkedPeter. "Itwon'tgo,"gruntedBunter."ThefrontwheeljamssomehowsinceIhaditoutonSaturday.I supposeI'dbettertakeCherry's.It'sarottenhighmachinelongleggedbeast!Holdonaminute, Peter,andputthesaddledownforme,willyou,aslowasitwillgo. "Youfrabjous,frumptiouschump,"saidPeter. "You'dbetterletCherry'sjiggeralone.Heisntexactlypleasedwithyou,already." "FatlotIcare!Butyousee,"explainedBunter,"hewon'tbewantingthejiggerthisafternoon.That gangweregoingovertoHighcliffe,butCherrywon'tbeabletogo,ashe'sgottostickinanddoa paperforQuelch.Servehimjollywellright,toochasingafellowlikeamadbull.Hewon'tknow I'vehaditnotthatIcarewhetherhedoesornot." "Hemightguess,ifyoubringitbackwiththefrontwheeljammedsomehow,oracoupleof puncturesandthechainbroken,"suggestedPeter."Takemytipandleaveitalone,oldfatfrump." "Iwantyoutoputthesaddledownforme,Peter.Iwishyouwouldn'tjawsomuchyou're wastingmytime." "Nottomentionmyown!"grinnedPeter."Goodbye,oldtulip."Peterwheeledhismachineoutof thebikeshed. "Holdon,"yelledBunter."Youhaven'tloweredthatsaddleforme,Peter.Isay,ain'tyougoingto putthatsaddledownforme?" "You'veguessedit!"saidPeter,overhisshoulder,andhedisappearedwithhisjigger. "Beast!"roaredBunter. ThefatOwlblinkedatBobCherry'sbicyclewithanexasperatedblink.Helifteditfromthestand, andblinkedatitagain.Butnoamountofblinkingcouldalterthatfactthatthatbike,asitstood, wastoohighforBillyBunter'slittlefatlegs:itwasobviousthat,hoistedintothesaddle,hisfeet wouldnotreachthepedals.Thesaddlehadtobeputdowntothelowestpossibleextentto accommodateBunter. TherewasnospecialreasonwhyBunter,ifhewantedasaddlelowered,shouldnothandlethejob himself.Butitimpliedexertion,andBunterdislikedexertion.Itwassomuchmoreagreeableto watchsomeotherfellowdoit.ButPeterhavingdeclined,withtheselfishnesstowhichBunterwas sadlyaccustomed,thereseemednohelpforit,andhegruntedandopenedthetoolbag.Then therewasatrampoffeetastwoRemovefellowscameinattheopendoorway. BunterblinkedroundatSquiffandTomBrown.Hisfatfacebrightened. Isay,youfellows,"hesqueaked. "WhatareyoudoingwithCherry'sbike?"askedSquiff. "Oh,he'slentittome,"explainedBunter."Isay,Field,willyoushovethesaddledownforme?I haven'tgothoppolelegslikethatassCherry." "ThatassCherry?"repeatedtheAustralianjunior."Well,ifhe'slentyouhisbike,he'sanassall right.Buthashe?"

"Haven'tIjustsaidso?"hootedBunter. "Oh,quite!"grinnedSquiff."ButI'dratherhearBobsayso,beforeImessaboutwithhisbike. Leaveitalone,youfatAnanias." "Beast!Isay,Browney,willyouputthesaddledownforme?You'renotalazyslackerlikeField, oldchap." "Whycan'tyouputitdownforyourself?" "Oh!III'vecutmyfinger!Itit'sbleedinglikeanythingawfulpain." "Toobad,"saidTomBrown."LetsseeitIlltieitupforyou." "IImean,itisn'texactlybleedingitit'saninternalpaininside,youknow.Itwon'ttakeyou aminutetoputthesaddledownforme." "Itwon't!"agreedTomBrown,laughing."Comeon,Squiff." "Isay,youfellows,"howledBunter. ButSquiffandTomBrownwheeledouttheirmachines,andweregone.BillyBunterbreathedhard anddeep.Hehadalmostmadeuphisfatmindtoundertakethenecessarylabourhimself,when therewasagainatrampoffeet,andthreeFifthformmencameinCoker,Potter,andGreene. Bunterblinkedatthemnotahopefulblink.FifthFormmenwerefarfromlikelytobehelpfultoa fagintheLowerFourth.Still,itcostnothingtopreferarequest. "Isay,Coker,I'vecutmyfingerImeanI'vesprainedmywrist!Isay,willyouputthissaddle lowerforme,oldfellow?" CokeroftheFifthgazedathim. "Didyoucallmeoldfellow?"heasked.Cokerseemedtodoubtwhetherhehadheardaright."Old fellow"fromaLowerFourthjuniorwasthelimit,intheopinionofCokeroftheFifth. "Yes,oldchap!Yousee,I'vehurtmythumb,andIcan'tyarooooh!"roaredBunter."Leggo!Ow! Wow!Leggo,youbeast." BobCherry'sbikeclangedontheconcrete,andBillyBuntersatbesideit,withabumpandaroar. Havinglandedhimthere,HoraceCokergavehimaglareofineffablescornanddisdain,andtook nofurthernoticeofhim.Cokerwasfrowning,andPotterandGreenegrinning,asthethreeFifth Formmenwheeledtheirmachinesout. "Ooooogh!"gurgledBunter."Beast!OwOooh."ItwasborneinuponBillyBunter'sfatmind,thatif thatsaddlewasgoingtobeshifted,hisownfathandshadtodotheshifting.Soheproppedupthe bikeandsortedoutthetools,splutteringforbreathashedidso.Really,itwasnotatremendous taskwhenBuntercametodoit,andinafewminutes,thesaddlewasdowntothelowestnotch. Bunterwearilysecuredit,andwasputtingthespannerbackinthetoolbagwhenSkinnerand Snoopcamein. "Hallo,thatlookslikeCherry'sbike,"remarkedSkinner. "He'slentittome,"saidBunter,hastily. "Doesheknow?"askedSkinner,andSnoopchuckled. "Yah!"wasBillyBunter'selegantreplytothatquestion,andhestartedforthedoorwaywiththe bike. "Ha,ha,ha!"roaredSkinner."IfCherry'slentyouhisbike,Iwonderwhathe'scomingdowntothe bikeshedfor." Bunterjumped. "Oh,crikey!Isisishecominghere?"hegasped."Lookhere,hecan'tbegoingouthe'sgota papertodoforQuelch!Ifhe'safterme." "He'scoming,anyhow!"chuckledSnoop."Hewasjustbehindus." "Oh,lor'!" Bunterrushedthebikedoorward. AsBobCherryhadtostayinandwriteaLatinpaperforQuelch,Bunterhadnaturallynotexpected himtoturnupanywherenearthebikeshed.ButevidentlytoBunterhewasafterthefatOwl! Ifhewascoming,itbehovedBillyBuntertogetoffthescenewiththeborrowedbike,inthe shortestpossiblespaceoftime.Inhothaste,hecareeredthroughthedoorwaywiththebike. Crash! SnoophadsaidthatBobwasjustbehind,onhiswaytothebikeshed.Beingonlyjustbehind,It wasnaturalthatheshouldarrivelessthanaminuteafterSkinnerandSnoop.Hearrivedintimeto

meetthefrontwheelofthebike,asBunterrusheditout. "Oh!"roaredBob,asthebikecrashedonhim."Oh,crikey!"gaspedBunter. "Ha,ha,ha!"yelledSkinnerandSnoop.Theyseemedamused. "Whywhatwhohow,"splutteredBob,ashestaggeredandstumbledover."Whatareyou runningthatbikeintomefor,youmadporpoise?Why,itsmybikewhatareyoudoingwithmy bike?Bygum,Ill."BobCherryscrambledup,redwithwrath. BillyBuntermadeaboundtoescape.Itwasarapidboundbutitwasnotquiterapidenough. BobCherryshotafterhim,andhisfootshotout. "Whoop!"roaredBunter,asitlanded. "Youfatvillain!" "Yaroooh!" BillyBunteraccelerated,hittingtheopenspacesonhishighestgear.Bobglaredafterhim. "Comebackandhaveanother,youfattick!"heroared. Bunterwasnotlikelytoacceptthatinvitation.Hevanishedintospace,andBob,breathinghard wentbacktopickuphisbike.Hefoundthathehadasaddleshiftingjobonhandbeforehecould rideit,andratherregrettedthathehadletBunteroffwithonlyonekick.Still,ithadbeenafairly heftyone,andperhapsithadbeenenough.That,atleast,wasBunter'simpression. THEWORMTURNS "Ow!Oooogh!Ow!" "Bunter'ssignaturetune!"remarkedFrankNugent.Fourjuniorschuckled.Thosebreathless soundsofwoeindicatedthatWilliamGeorgeBunterwasintheoffing. Havingdecidedtofollowtheirerringcomradeandreasonwithhim,HarryWhartonandCohad comeoutoftheHouse,tolookforBob.Hewastobeseeninthequad,sotheyheadedforthebike shed,whenwhatNugentdescribedasBunter'ssignaturetuneimpingedupontheirears.Afat figurecamerollingroundthecorneroftheHouseprecededbyaseriesofbreathless,woeful squeaks.BillyBunterwriggledasherolled,asifhehadapainsomewhere.Nodoubthehad! "Oh!Ow!Ooogh!Isayyoufellowsow!"BillyBunterblinkeddolorouslyatfourgrinningfaces."I sayooh!Thatbeastoh!" "Which?"askedJohnnyBull."Loderbeenlickingyou?" "Ow!No!ThatbeastCherry!"gaspedBunter"He'skickedme." "Wasthekickfulnessterrific?"askedHurreeJamsetRamSingh,sympathetically. "Beast!Ow!He'sjollywellkickedme!"roaredBunter."Cameaftermehe'sbeenhuntingmeever sincethirdschool,asyoufellowsknowandIthoughthewasinhisstudydoinghispaperfor Quelch,andhewasn't,andwow!"Bunterwriggledandwriggled."Huntingforme,insteadof doinghispaperforQuelch!Ow!I'mjollygladIranhisbikeintohimwow!" "You'vebeenbaggingBob'sjigger?"askedHarry."Well,hewon'twantit,ashecan'tgooutow!I say,youfellows,ifBobCherryfancieshecankickachap,he'sjollywellmistaken,ashewilljolly wellfindoutsee?I'llshowhim!I'lljollywellshowhim!Wow!" "Comeon,youmen,"saidHarryWharton.Itwasclear,fromBunter'sremarks,thatBobwasatthe bikeshed,sotherewasnotimetobelostifhewasyettobereasonedwith. Thefourjuniorshurriedontheirway.BillyBunterblinkedafterthem,astheywent,withanangry snort. Evidently,thechumsoftheRemoveattachednoimportancewhatevertothecircumstancethat Bunterhadbeenkicked.ToBunterhimselfitwasamatterofthefirstimportance.Oftenandoften hadWilliamGeorgeBunterbeenkicked,forhissins,buthehadnevergrowntolikeit. "Beasts!"hissedBunter."I'lljollywellshowthatbeastCherry,anyhow!Wow!" ThefatOwlrolledintotheHouse,anduptotheRemovepassage.Hewasnotheadingforhisown studyhepassedNo.7,androlledontoNo.13. ThatstudybelongedtoBobCherry,HurreeSingh,MarkLinley,andWunLung,theChinesejunior. BobandHurreeSingh,heknew,werenotthere,anditwasnotprobablethattheotherfellows
CHAPTERV

wereinthestudyonasunnyhalfholiday,afineautumnafternoonthattemptedeveryfellowout ofdoors.Tomakesure,Buntertappedonthedoor.Therewasnoreplyfromwithin,andhe openedthedoor,andblinkedintotheroomthroughhisbigspectacles. Itwas,asheexpected,vacant. Withagruntofsatisfaction,thefatOwlrolledin,andshutthedoorafterhim. Therewasavengefulgleaminthelittleroundeyesbehindthebigroundspectacles.Bunterwas onthetrailofvengeance. BillyBunterwasnot,asarule,avengefulfellow.Hehadhisfaultsindeed,theirnamewaslegion. Butrememberinggrudgeswasnotusuallyoneofthem.Bunterasaruleforgotoffencesalmostas easilyasheforgothislessons,andthelittlesumsheowedupanddowntheRemove.Buthewas feelingverysorenow,andthewormwillturn.Bunterhadbeenkickedhard.Hewouldhave likedtopunchBobCherry'sheadbuthowwasafellowtopunchaheadhecouldn'treach?But therewereotherwaysandmeans. "WontIjollywellshowhim!"breathedBunter.. Bobhadtocomeuptohisstudy,beforelong,towritethatpaperforQuelch.ThatBob,ina mutinousmood,intendedtogooutofgateswithoutwritingthatpaperfirst,Bunterwasnot aware.HeexpectedBob,asamatterofcoursetocomeuptothestudytoworkhiswearyway throughtheconjugationof"amo",activeandpassive.Asurprisenotapleasantonewasto greettheunsuspiciousBobwhenhearrivedthere.BunterwasgoingtoenjoythatsurpriseBob, mostdecidedly,wasnot. ThefatOwlopenedthedoorofthestudycupboard. BunterknewhiswayaboutNo.13,ashedidaboutalltheotherstudiesintheRemove.Fewstudy cupboardshadsecretsfromBillyBunter. Fromthecupboardhetookalargeflattin,whichwasusedfortoffeemakinginthestudyonthe happyoccasionswhenmaterialsforthesamewereavailable. Placingthetinonthetable,hepouredtheinkpotintoit. Thenfromthecupboardhetook,insuccession,abottleofgum,abottleofpickles,atinofliquid shoepolish,andabottleoflemonade,andstreamedtheircontentsintotheflattin.Headdeda shovelfulofcindersandashesfromthegrate,andstirredupthehorridmixturewiththeshovel, grinningashedidso. Buthewasnotsatisfiedyet. Hesteppedtothedoor,openeditafewinches,andblinkedcautiouslyintothepassage.Nobody wasinsight.Bobwasnotcomingyet.NotforamomentdiditoccurtoBunterthathewasnot comingatall. Assuredthathehadtime,thefatjuniorpickeduptheshovelagain,andproceededtorakedown sootfromthestudychimney. Thereseemedtobeplentyofsootinthechimney,judgingbythecloudthatdescendedintothe fireplace.Blacksfloatedalloverthestudy,settlingonbooksandpapers,chairsandcarpet.That didnotworryBunter.Itwasnothisstudy. "He,he,he!"gurgledBunter,asheshovelledsootintothefiattinonthetable,andstirreditup. Allwasreadynow. Bunterplacedthedoorajar.Standingonachair,heliftedthelargeflattin,andlodgeditsecurely, onesiderestingonthetopofthedoor,theotheronthelinteloverthedoorway. Itwasquitesafethere,tillthedoorwaspushedopenfromwithout.Thenthetin,lackingvisible meansofsupport,wouldfall,obeyingthewellknownLawofGravitationsoablydemonstratedby SirIsaacNewton.Itwouldcomedowncosh!ontheheadoftheunluckypersonpushingopen thedoor!BobCherry,probably,wouldlikeamixtureofsoot,ashes,cinders,gum,ink,pickles, shoepolish,plusthetin,nomorethanBillyBunterlikedabootonhistighttrousers.Thiswastit fortataRolandforanOliver. "He,he,he!"chuckledBunter. Havingarrangedhisboobytraptohissatisfaction,thefatOwlsteppeddown,chuckling.Allwas readynow. Withtheboobytrapinposition,itwasimpossibleforBuntertoleavethestudy.Buthedidnot wanttoleaveit.Bunterhadthoughtallthisouthehaditcutanddried.

Inacornerofthestudy,oppositethedoor,stoodaChinesescreenthatbelongedtolittleWun Lung.Thatscreenshowedmanysignsofwearandtear,inevitableinajuniorstudy,andthere wereseveralrentsinit.BillyBuntermovedthescreen,packedhimselfintothecorner,anddrew thescreeninplaceagain.Ithidhimcompletelyfromview.Butwhilecompletelyhiddenhimself, Bunterhadfullviewofthestudy,byapplyinghiseyestooneoftherentsinthescreen.. Fromthatcoignofvantage,BunterwasgoingtowatchthecrashwhenBobCherrypushedopen hisstudydoor.HewasgoingtoseetheflattinpancomedowncoshonBob'sdevotedhead, smotheringhimfromheadtofootwithahorriblemixtureofsoot,ashes,cinders,pickles,andthe rest.Hewasgoingtoenjoythesight!BobwasnotbutBunterwas!Afterwards,itwouldbeeasy enoughtoescapeforBob,inthatghastlystate,wouldbechieflyinwantofawash;andtheastute fatOwlhadonlytoremainconcealedinhishideouttillthecoastwasclear Itwasamasterlyandabsolutelywatertightschemeatallevents,BillyBunterhadnodoubtthat itwas. WithagrinningfaceBunterwaited. HedidnotexpectBobtobelonghehadtohandinhisimpotbeforehecouldgoout;andinfact wasleavingitratherlatealready.EverymomentnowBillyBunterexpectedtohearaheavytread cominguptheRemovepassage. Butitdidnotcome. Bunterhadnotexpectedalongwait.Butitseemedthathewasbookedforone.Minutefollowed minute,andthefatOwlgrewmoreandmoreimpatient.Tiredofstandinghesatdowninthe corner,andrestedhisfatshouldersintheangleofthewall.Stilltherewasnosoundofaheavy treadcomingalongtoNo.13Study.Whythebeastwashangingitoutlikethis,Buntercouldnot guess.Itwasveryannoying,toBunter.Still,sittingmacorner,restingfatshouldersandafathead againstawall,wasnotreallyhardwork,andBuntersatitout. Hewasrewardedatlast.TherewasasoundoffootstepsintheRemovepassage,andtheystopped atthestudydoor. Bunter,onhisfeetagain,peeredthroughaslitinthescreen,grinningfromonefateartotheother, almostbreathlesswithjoyfulanticipation.Therewasasharptaponthedoor,anditwaspushed open,andthen!COSH! WHATBUNTERSAW! MR.QUELCHglancedupfromapileofFormpapersonhistable,totheclockinhisstudyand frowned. Fromafarcamethechimeofthree,fromtheoldGreyfriarsclocktower.ThatcausedtheRemove mastertoglanceupattheclockonhismantelpiece. Itwasthreeo'clock. ItwastimeexactlytimeforRobertCherry,oftheRemove,tohandinhisimposition:the completeconjugationoftheverb"amo"activeandpassive.Threeo'clockwastheappointedtime: andthreehadchimedfromtheclocktower,threewasindicatedbytheclockonMr.Quelch's mantelpieceandsothereshouldhavebeen,atthatmoment,atapatQuelch'sdoor. Buttherewasnotap! HenrySamuelQuelchfrowned,andcompressedhislips. AfterthisCombinedOperationheturnedtotheFormpapers. Thejuniorwas,perhaps,entitledtoafewminutes'grace. Mr.Quelchwasnotinthebestoftempersthatafternoon.Hehadhadasevereandpainfulshockin themorning.HehadbeenchargedoverheadlongbyBillyBunter,bumpedandwinded.ARemove juniornodoubtwouldhaveforgottenitbythistimebuttheRemovemasterhadnot.Between fifteenandfiftytherewasagreatgulffixed.AchesandpainslingeredinMr.Quelch'sbones, detractingconsiderablyfromhiscomfort.Everytwingeremindedhimoftheincident,andofBob Cherrythecauseofit.True,itwasBunterwhohadchargedhimoverbutBunterhaddonethat inflightfromBobtheblamewasonthepursuer,notthepursued.Mr.Quelchwasdeeply
CHAPTERVI

annoyedwiththatmemberofhisform"Six"andanimpotseemedtohimalightpunishmentfor theoffender. Butannoyedashewas,Mr.Quelchwasajustman.AristideshimselfhadnothingonQuelchonthat line. RobertCherryshouldhavedeliveredthatimpotinhisformmaster'sstudypromptlyatthree. Quelchhimselfwasthesoulofpunctuality,andhadlittlepatiencewithprocrastinationinothers. Nevertheless,hecouldmakeallowancesforhumannature.IfRobertCherrywasreallylatewith thatimpot,thevialsofwrathwerereadytopour.Butafewminutescouldbeexcusedina schoolboyespeciallyaratherthoughtlessschoolboylikeBobthatwasonlyjust.SoMr.Quelch startedonanotherFormpaper,havingnodoubtthatbeforehewasthroughit,hewouldhearthe expectedtaponhisdoor. IthappenedtobeMarkLinley'spaper,andMr.Quelchsfrowningbrowrelaxedasheexaminedit. MarkwasthebestscholarintheRemove,andhisLatinpapersalwayshadapleasingeffectonMr. Quelch. Hewaslookingquitegenialbythetimehewasthrough. HadBobenteredthestudyatthatmoment,withhisimpot,hewouldhavefoundQuelchquite amiable,inspiteoftwinges:andanylittleerrorsduetohastewouldprobablyhavebeen overlooked.Unluckily,Bobdidnotarrive. Mr.Quelchglancedattheclockagain.Thegenialexpressionfadedfromhisface.RobertCherry wasfiveminuteslate. Quelch'slipscompressedinatightline.Hisjawlookedlikeavice,andheresumedcorrecting papers.Fiveminutes'gracewasthelimit.UnlessRobertCherry,whenhecame,couldgiveavery goodexplanationofthedelay,hewasbookedforanotherspotoftroublewithhisformmaster. Buthedidnotcome! PapersrustledunderMr.Quelchsfingers,astheminutespassed.Thequarterchimedfromthe clocktower. ThenMr.Quelchrosetohisfeet.Hisfacewasset. Thiswasnotmereprocrastination.Itwasnotmerethoughtlessness.Itwasdisregardofauthority. Itwaspracticallydefiance.Mr.Quelchwasthemantodealwiththatkindofthingwithadrastic hand. TheRemovemasterlefthisstudy,thoughtfullyplacingacaneunderhisarmashedidso.Onhis waytothestaircase,hepassedWingateandGwynne,oftheSixthForm;andafterhehadpassed, thetwoprefectsglancedatoneanotherwithafaintgrin.TheexpressionofQuelchsspeaking countenance,andthecaneunderhisarm,indicatedthatsomelucklessfellowintheRemovewas "forit". Mr.Quelchmountedthestairs.. Nobodywasabout,ashecrossedthestudylanding,tothecoupleofstepsthatledupfromittothe Removelanding.HecrossedtheRemovelanding,andrustledintothepassage.Withagrimbrow, hewalkedorratherstalkeduptheRemovepassagetoNo.13Study. Hewasangry:and,liketheprophetofold,hefeltthathedidwelltobeangry.Nevertheless,he wasstillpreparedtotemperjusticewithmercy,ifhefoundRobertCherryinhisstudyslogging hardatthatimpot.Butifhedidnotfindhimsooccupied! HearrivedatNo.13Study,tappedsharplyonthedoorwhichstoodajar,pusheditopen,and entered.Andthen! Whathappenednext,Mr.Quelchhardlyknew.Somethingdescendeduponhimhedidnotknow what.ForahorridmomentitseemedasIftheceilingswerecollapsingonhishead.Something, whateveritwas,bangedonhismortarboard,knockingitsideways.Somethingsomethingwet, andsticky,andsmelly,andclammystreamedalloverhim.Itsoakedhisscantyhair,itoozedinto hisears,ittrickleddownhisneck.Frombeneaththatstickyclammymixturethatclothedhimlike agarment,Mr.Quelchsplutteredafranticsplutter. Whatwasit?Whathadhappened?Hewaschoked,blinded,drenched,smothered,asphyxiated.He staggeredtoandfro,helplessly,spluttering,gasping,gurgling.Hiscanedroppedtothefloor.His mortarboardfollowed.Heswayed,andstaggered,andreeled.

"Urrrrggggh!Ooooch!Wurrrggh!Oh!Wooooch!"Intheoppositecornerofthestudy,peering throughbigspectaclesandaslitmthescreen,BillyBunterstoodturnedtostone. Hedidnotmakeasound.Hecouldn'tleave,ifhehadwantedtoandmostassuredlyhedidnot wantto. WhatBuntersawpetrifiedthefatjunior.ThestonystareofthefabledMedusacouldnothave petrifiedhimmoreutterlyandthoroughly. ItwasQuelch! HehadexpectedBobCherry.HehadnotdreamedofexpectingQuelch.Butitwastheunexpected thathadhappened. ItwasQuelchandQuelchhadwalkedintotheboobytrapsocarefullypreparedforBobCherry! ItwasQuelch,hisformmaster,uponwhosemajesticnutthatboobytraphaddescended.Itwas QuelchHenrySamuelQuelchwhowasstaggering,spluttering,gurgling,swampedand smotheredbyahorriblemixtureofsoot,andashes,andink,andgum,andpickles,andshoe polish.Itwastooawfulforbelief,butthereitwasitwasQuelch!BillyBunterhadbeenprepared toviewthescenewithajoyfulgrinningface,butwhatBuntersawdidnotmakehimfeellike grinningfarfromit.Hisfatjawdroppedhiseyesalmostpoppedthroughhisspectaclesand hestoodpetrifiedwithhorror. "Wurrrrggh!Gurrggh!"Quelchwasmakingstrange,inarticulatesounds."Ooooogh!Woooogh! Mmmmmmmm!" TheRemovemasterclawedatthestickystuffonhisface.Herubbedhissootyeyes,andstaredand glaredroundhim. Itdawnedonhimwhathadhappened.Itwassootthatsmotheredandscentedhim.Therewere otheringredients,equallyunpleasantbutsootpredominated.Asherealisedwhathad happenedthathehadwalkedintoaboobytraptoweringrageboiledupwithinMr.Quelch. "Urrrggh!Cherry!"hegasped. Hegaveasortofinkyglareroundthestudy.BobCherrywasnottherebutafterwhathad happened,Mr.Quelchhardlyexpectedtoseehimthere.Hewasnotlikelytolingeronthescene afterwhathehaddone!Quelchhadnodoubtwhohaddoneit.ThatafatterrifiedOwlwashidden behindthescreeninthecornerofthestudywasnotlikelytooccurtohim.Cherryhaddonethis howcouldhedoubtit?Thatwaswhyhehadnotbroughthisimpositiontohisformmaster's studyknowingthatifhedidnot,hisformmasterwouldcomeuptoinquirethereasonwhy andhehadpreparedthisghastlytrickforhimwhenhecame.Mr.Quelchbreathedfuryand sootashethoughtofit. "Ooooh!Theyoungrascal!Woooogh!"Quelchcoughed,andgasped,andgurgled.Hepickedupthe cane,andwhirledroundinthedoorway.InacoolermomentMr.Quelchwouldhaverealisedthat, importantandurgentasitwastogetwithinacane'slengthoftheyoungrascalwhohaddonethis, hewasinnostateformakingapublicappearance,andthathisbestguesswastoheadforthe nearestbathroom,andhotwaterandsoap.ButMr.Quelchwasnotcool.Generallyrathericy,he resembledratheravolcanoinfulleruption.Likethealpineclimberinthepoem,hisbrowwasset, hiseyebeneathflashedlikeafalchionfromitssheath,ashewhirledoutofNo.13Studyintothe passage,scatteringacloudofsoot. Sootdroppedfromhim,inflakes,ashecareereddownthepassage.Heleftatrailofsootand tricklinginkandpicklesbehindhim.Andwhenhewasgoneafrightenedfatfacepeeredfrom behindthescreeninNo.13Study,andBillyBuntermoanedfeebly. "Oh,crikey!"
CHAPTERVII

BLACKMAN! "WHO?" "What?" WingateandGwynneejaculatedtogether,astheystaredblanklyatastrange,weirdfigureonthe staircase.Whoitwas,whatitwas,thetwoSixthFormmendidnotknow,forthemoment:they

couldonlystareinwonder.Mr.Quelchwashardlyrecognisablejustthen.Notoneofhiscolleagues ontheGreyfriarsstaffwouldhaveknownhim.Hewasblackenedwithsoot:likePhoebusApollo, hewasmadelikeuntothenight! "Wingate!"Mr.Quelchsvoicewashoarse,partlyfromexcitement,partlybecausesomeofthesoot hadgotintohismouth."Urrrggh!Wingate!HaveyouseenCherryurrrggh!ofmyForm?" "IsisisthatMr.Quelch?"stutteredthecaptainofGreyfriars. "Eh?What?Yes,ofcourseitisI,"snappedMr.Quelch."Whatdoyoumean,Wingate?"Itdidnot occurtoMr.Quelch,forthemoment,thathewasunrecognisable. "III"babbledWingate."IIhassomethinghappened,sir?" Itwasratherasuperfluousquestion.Onlytooclearlysomethinghadhappened.Onlyafew minutesago,Mr.Quelchhadpassedthetwoprefects,lookinggrim,buthisusualneatandspotless self.Andnow!Obviouslysomethinghadhappened! "Isisisthatsoot?"gaspedGwynne.Itwasanotherquitesuperfluousquestion:theblackcloud thatfloatedroundQuelchashemovedwasplainlysoot. "Oh,gum!What'sthat?" "Who'sthatbargee?" "Who'sthatnigger?" Fiveorsixfellowscameupfromvariousdirections.Temple,Dabney,andFry,oftheFourth HobsonandHoskinsoftheShellTubboftheThirdSammyBunteroftheSecondall convergeduponthespot,staringatMr.Quelch,andejaculatinginchorus.Notoneofthem recognisedhim.Hewasastrangeanduncannyobjecttotheireyes,excitingstartledinterest. "Whoisitwhatisit?"exclaimedCecilReginaldTemple."Oh,gum!Whatthejollyolddooce!" "It'sanigger!"squeakedSammyBunter. "It'sachimneysweep!"exclaimedTubb."What'sachimneysweepdoinghere?He'sspillingsoot allovertheshop." "Shutup,youyoungasses!"rappedoutWingate,hastily,whileMr.Quelchgavethejuniorsasooty anddeadlyglare."It'sMr.Quelchthere'sbeenanaccident" "Quelch!"gaspedTemple."Oh,gad!" "Oh,crumbs!" "Ha,ha,ha!" "Arethoseboyslaughing?"Mr.Quelchalmostroared."Atwhatarethoseboyslaughing?"Evenat thatmoment,Mr.Quelchwasincapableofsaying"Whatarethoseboyslaughingat?""Uponmy word!II." "Now,then,clearoff,you!"exclaimedGwynne,hustlingthejuniorsaway.Theycrowdedback, staringatMr.Quelch,andstilllaughingtheycouldnothelpit.AGreyfriarsformmaster disguisedinsootseemedtoomuchforthem. ToMr.Quelchhimself,therewasnothingofacomicnatureinthisshockingepisode.Likethegood oldqueen,hewas"notamused".Butthebeholdersseemedverymuchamusedindeed.Grinning faceslookedatMr.Quelchfromalldirections,andtherewasarippleofmerriment.

"Wingate!IaskedyouwhetheryouhadseenCherryofmyForm!"hootedtheRemovemaster. "IIdon'tthinkI'veseenhimsincedinner,sir!Isishewanted?" "Hehasdonethis!"pantedMr.Quelch. "Oh,myhat.IIImean,whatwhathashappened,sir?" "Thatisafoolishquestion,Wingate!"Mr.Quelch'smannersweregenerallyirreproachable:alittle icy,perhaps,butalwayspolite.Butunderthepresentstresstheydeteriorated."Cannotyousee whathashappened?CannotyouseethatIamsmotheredinsoot?" "Yes,sir!IIseethat,sir!But." "Areceptacle,containingsoot,andandotherthingsfellonmyheadwhenIopenedadoor!" splutteredMr.Quelch."Cannotyouunderstandthat,Wingate?" "Oh!Ah!Yes,sir!"gaspedWingate."Aaaboobytrap,doyoumean,sir?" "Ithinkitiscalledbysomesuchname,"snappedMr.Quelch."Iwascaughtinitsmotheredwith sootasyouseegrooogh!Iaminashockingstate." "Yes,sir,IInoticedthat." "FindCherryatonce!Heistheperpetratorofthisoutrage!Findhimatonce,andsendhimtomy studyWingate." "Yes,sir!Certainly." "Ishalltakehimtohisheadmasterimmediately.Hewillcertainlybeexpelledforthisoutrage. Losenotime,Wingate." "Greatpip!Who'sthatbeenupachimney?"CokeroftheFiftharrivedonthescene.Moreandmore fellowswerearriving,drawntothespotbythebuzzofvoicesandthetrillsoflaughter.Cokerof theFifthstaredatthesootyformmaster,withwideopeneyes."Whothedickensisthatsillyass spillingsootallovertheplace,Wingate?" "Coker!"roaredMr.Quelch."Howdareyou?" "Ha,ha,ha!"cameayellfromtwoorthreedozenfellows. Therewasaheavytread,andMr.Prout,themasteroftheFifth,camealongfromCommonRoom. HiseyespoppedatMr.Quelch. "Whowhowhatisthat?"exclaimedMr.Prout,blankly."Wingate!Whoisthatblackman?What ishedoinghere?" "It'snotablackman,sir!"stutteredWingate."It'sMr.Quelch." "What?What?Whatdoyoumean,Wingate?Iamreferringtothatblackmanthatnegro." "Ha,ha,ha!" "It'ssoot,sir!"gaspedWingate."Itit'snotablackman,sir,it'sMr.Quelch,andandand soot!" "Soot!"repeatedMr.Prout.Hesniffedthescentofsoot."Blessmysoul!Yes,Iperceivenowthatit issoot.IsisisthatQuelch?CanitbepossiblethatthatisQuelch?" "CannotyouseewhoIam,Mr.Prout?"shriekedtheRemovemaster. "ThatisQuelch'svoice,"saidProut."Uponmyword!Youarequiteunrecognisable,Quelch!Inthe nameofgoodness,whyhaveyoudonethis?" "What?"howledMr.Quelch. "Iaskedyou,Quelch,whyyouhavedonethis?Inthenameofallthatisabsurd,why?"gaspedMr. Prout."AmanofyouryearsaformmasteramemberofDr.Locke'sstaffplayingsofantastic atrickastomakeyourselfupasablackmanareyououtofyoursenses,Quelch?" "Idiot!" "Eh?What?Whatdidyousay,Quelch?" "Ha,ha,ha!" Quelch'smannersweredeterioratingfurther.Neverinallhiscareerasaschoolmasterhadhe usedsuchanexpressionbefore.Neverhadhedreamedoftellinghisportlycolleague,Prout,what hereallythoughtofhim!Now,inthestressandexcitementofthemoment,ithadpoppedout. ButProut'sabsurdmisapprehensionwasreallytoomuchforMr.Quelch.Itputthelidon,soto speak. "Cannotyousee,"almostroaredQuelch,"thatIhavebeenthevictimofanoutragea disrespectfuladastardlyoutrage." "Really,Quelch!"

"CannotyouseethatIhavebeensmotheredwithsoot,byamiserabletrickawretchedtrickor areyoublind?" "Uponmyword,QuelchII,"Proutspluttered. "Pah!"Mr.QuelchturnedanangrybackonProut. "Wingate!FindCherry,ofmyForm,atonceimmediatelywithoutamoment'sdelayandsend himtomystudy." "Oh!Yes,sir." Mr.Quelchwhiskedawaytohisstudy.Arippleoflaughterfollowedhimashewent.Prout,very muchoffended,staredafterhimindignantly.Everyoneelsewasinthethroesofmirth.Eventhe prefectsweregrinning,assoonasMr.Quelch'sbackwasturned. Thatrippleofmerrimentbehindhimadded,ifpossible,totheRemovemaster'swrath.Hisears burnedundertheirsootycovering.Quelchcouldseenooccasionformerrimentinallthis.The Greyfriarsfellowsevidentlycould! Quelch'sstudydoorclosedwithabang. HewasgoingtowaitinthatstudyimpatientlytillWingatemarchedthedelinquentin.Thenhe wasgoingtomarchthatdelinquentstraighttohisheadmaster,fordirejudgment.Hewasgoingto demandthatdelinquent'simmediateexpulsionfromtheschool. That,indeed,didnotseemaheavypunishment,inMr.Quelch'spresentmood.Hecouldalmost haveenvisagedsomethinglingering,withboilingoilinit!Anyhow,theiniquitousyoungrascalwas goingtobetaken,withoutamoment'sunnecessarydelay,tohisheadmaster,totakethe consequencesofwhathehaddone. Butinsidethestudy,Mr.QuelchgaveasuddenJump,orratherabound,atthesightofablackface lookingathimfromthelookingglass. Hestaredatthatblackface,hardlyabletobelievethatitwashisown. "Goodnessgracious!"gaspedMr.Quelch. Hegazedathisreflectioninhorror.HehadnotrealisedthathewasasblackasanativeofCentral Africa,andquiteastartlingapparition. "Oh!"breathedMr.Quelch. Itwasborneinuponhismindthathewasinnostateforinterviewingaheadmaster.Urgentasit wastodeliverthedelinquenttoimmediatesternjustice,Quelchrealisedthatitwasstillmore urgenttomakehimselfalittlemorepresentable,beforeheenteredthemajesticpresenceofDr. Locke. Breathinghard,hewhiskedoutofthestudyagain,andheadedinhasteforthenearestbathroom. Thereinacloudofsteam,withsoapandhotwater,rubbingandscrubbing,andscrubbingand rubbing,Mr.Quelchwasbusyforquitealongtimeduringwhichhiswrathdidnotdiminish. Ratheritseemed,likewine,toimprovewithkeeping! SAFEASHOUSES "OH,crikey!"breathedBillyBunter. Bunter'sfatfacewasquitepale. HeputhisfatheadoutfrombehindthescreeninthecornerofNo.13Study,andlistened. Quelchwasgone.HishurriedfootstepshaddiedawaydowntheRemovepassage.Thecoastwas clear,anditwassafeforthefatOwltoemergefromhishideout. Heemerged,tremblingineveryfatlimb. "Oh,crumbs!"breathedBunter."Ifhefindsoutthatitwasmeoh,crikey!"Heshudderedatthe thought. TherewasonlyoneideainBunter'sfatmindnowtogetawaybeforeanyonecameuptothe study,andtokeephispartinthistransactiondarkverydarkindeed.Hehardlydared contemplatetheconsequencesifhewerefoundout.True,hehadintendedthatboobytrapfor BobCherry,andhadneverdreamedthatabeakwouldputhisheadinit.Notforworlds,notfor thewholeuniverse,wouldBillyBunterknowinglyhavecaughthisformmasterinaboobytrap.
CHAPTERVIII

Buthehaddoneit!Thatwastheawfulandterrifyingfact!Whateverhehadorhadn'tintended,he hadcaughtMr.Quelchinaboobytrap,andsmotheredandsoakedanddrenchedhimwitha horriblemixtureofsootandashesandinkandgumandpickles.ItmeantaHead'sflogging,at least,ifhewerediscovereditmightverylikelymeanthe"sack"itmightmeanboth.Obviously Bunter'scuewastokeepthisdarktokeepitadeadsecretthathehadbeeninNo.13,orupin thestudiesatallthatafternoonlikeBrerFoxto"lielowandsaynuffin'."BillyBunterwasnot verybright,buthewasbrightenoughtorealisethat. Hetiptoedacrossthestudytothedoor,carefullyavoidingtheswampofmixtureonthefloor,and peeredcautiouslyintothepassage. Itwasvacant.Hecouldhearsoundsfromadistancedownstairs.ButQuelchwasgoneallwas clear. Thefatjuniorrolledoutintothepassage.Therehepaused. Hewantedtogetawayasquicklyaspossibletoputthegreatestpossibledistance,inthe shortestpossibletime,betweenhimselfandthesceneofthatawfuldisaster.Nobodywastoknow thathehadcomeuptotheStudiesatall.Butitwascertainthateyeswouldfalluponhimifhe wentdownthestaircaseandthegamewouldbeup. "Ohlor'!"mumbledBunter. Hisfatbraindidnotoftenworkquickly.Butitworkedquicklynow.Heturnedandscuttledupthe passage,tothelittlestairattheupperendwhichledtotheRemoveboxroom.Healmostwhizzed upthatstair,androlledpantingintotheboxroomsafeoutofsightnowifanyonecameuptothe Removestudies,aswassuretohappenbeforelong. "Oh,crikey!"moanedBunter.. Hepausedaminuteortwotopumpinbreath.Thenherolledacrosstotheboxroomwindow,and openedit.Descentfromthatwindow,atthebackoftheHouse,waseasyformostRemovefellows, bywayoftheleadsoutside,andamassiveoldrainpipe.ItwasnoteasyforBunter:still,hehad doneitbefore,andhecoulddoitagain.Hestoodatthewindow,surveyingthekitchengardens andtheschoolallotmentswithanxiouseyesthroughhisbigspectacles. Farinthedistance,heglimpsedMr.Mimble,thegardener,atworkwithahoe.Nooneelsewasin sight:andMr.Mimble'sback,luckily,wasturnedtowardshim.Bunterclamberedthroughthe window,anddroppedontheleads.Gruntingandgasping,heswunghimselfdowntherainpipein thecorner,andlandedonthesolidearthatlast,breathlessandgrubby,butsafe. HewasoutoftheHousenow.Allhehadtodowastowalkroundtheschoolbuildings,andmingle inthecrowdinthequad,unsuspected.ThefatOwlgaspedwithreliefasherolledaway. Nobodywouldknow!Nobodycouldpossiblyknow.Howcouldanyoneknow?Therewasno evidencetoconnectBunterwithwhathadhappenedinNo.13Studynottheremotestclueto connecthim.Certainly,withoutaclue,noonewaslikelytothinkofBillyBunterasthemanwho hadboobytrappedhisbeak.TheBoundermightbequestionedhewasthefellowforsuchdeeds, iftherewassuchafellowintheRemoveatall.ButnobodywouldevendreamofBunter.Hehad onlytokeephismouthshut,andhewassafeashouses.Keepinghismouthshutwasnoteasywork forBillyBunter,butinthesedirecircumstanceshewascapableofit.Theaffairwouldmakea sensationofcoursetherewouldbeaninquiry,investigation,noendofarowinfact:butitwould remainamysteryaninsolublemystery.Thatcertaintycomforted.theOwloftheRemove,andhe wasfeelingmorelikehisoldsatisfiedself,asherolledintothequad. TherehepassedCokerandCo.oftheFifth.Theyweregrinning,asiftheyhadlatelywitnessed somethingveryamusing. "FancyoldQuelch!"chuckledCoker."Blackastheaceofspadesha,ha,ha!Jevverseeabeaklike thatbefore,youmen?" "Never!"grinnedPotter."Hardlyever!"chuckledGreene. TheydidnotevenglanceatBunterasherolledby:certainlyneverdreamingthatthefellowwho hadmadeQuelchblackastheaceofspadeswaspassingthem. AgroupoffagsoftheThirdandSecondweregrinningnearthedooroftheHouse.SammyBunter squeakedathismajorashesawhimcoming. "Isay,Billy!Heard?" "Heardwhat?"askedBunter.

"He,he,he!"SammyhadasqueakycachinnationverylikeBilly's."Isay,yourbeakoldQuelch! He,he,he." Bunterbreathedhard. "AnythinghappenedtoQuelch?"heasked,ascasuallyashecould. "Whatho!"chortledTubboftheThird."Youshouldhaveseenhimyou'vemissedsomething, Bunter." "Bestthingthisterm,"saidPagetoftheThird. "Somebody'sswampedtheoldbeanwithsoot." "Oh!"gaspedBunter. HerolledonintotheHouse,andwentintotheRag.Inthatapartmenthefoundagoodmany fellows,laughingandchuckling.BillyBunterblinkedatthemratheranxiously.Butnobodyglanced athim.TheywerediscussingthesootingofQuelch,butevidentlywithouttheremotestideaof connectingWilliamGeorgeBunterwiththeepisode.ThefatOwlfeltmoreandmorecomforted. "Say,youguys,wasitasightforsoreeyes?"chortledFisherT.Fish."I'llsayitwas,andthensome." "Ha,ha,ha!" "PooroldQuelch!"saidTempleoftheFourth. "Washewild?" "Ha,ha,ha!" "Blackbutnotcomely!"chuckledWibley. "Ha,ha,ha!" "Whatanerve,though!"saidStott."Quelchwasboundtoknowwhodidit." Bunter'sfatheartmissedabeatasheheardthat! "Fairlyaskingforit,andnomistake,"remarkedMorgan."Hecouldn'texpectQuelchnotto tumble." Buntertrembled. "Wingate'slookingforhimnow,"saidWibley."Maymarchhiminanyminute.Musthavebeenan ass." Bunterfeltlikefainting! "IIIsay,youfellows,"hestuttered."IsisisWingatelookingforforanybody?Who'she lookingfor?" "BobCherry,ofcourse,"answeredWibley. Bunterjumped. "BobCherry!"herepeated."What'shelookingforBobCherryfor?" "Quelchwantshim,ofcourse." "BbbbutwhatdoesQuelchwanthimfor?" "Haven'tyouheard!TheawfulassgotQuelchinaboobytrapswampedhimwithsootandall sortsofstuff.Quelchwasapicture.QuelchisgoingtotakehimtotheHead." "Hehehe'sgoingtotakeBobCherrytothetheHead?"stutteredBunter. "Yes,assoonasWingatewalkshimin." "Oh,crikey!" BillyBunteralmostcollapsedintoanarmchair.Hewas,ashehadastutelycalculated,safesafer thanever,infact,nowthatQuelchappearedtohavepouncedonthewrongman.WhyQuelch supposedthatitwasBobCherry,Bunterdidnotknowbutevidently,Quelchdid!Andhewas goingtotakeBobtotheHead!BillyBunterwassafesaferthaneverbutitwasnotahappyOwl whosatinthearmchair,blinkingdismallythroughhisbigspectaclesatthecrowdofjuniors,as theycontinuedtodiscussthesootingofQuelch,regardlessofhim. STARTLINGNEWS! "WHARTON!" HarryWhartonglancedround,alittleimpatiently.ItwasWingateoftheSixthwhocalled,andthe voiceofthecaptainofGreyfriarswasnottobepassedunheededunwelcomeasanyinterruption
CHAPTERIX

waswhilefootballwasgoingon.Butthewhistlehadjustgone,withtheballintouch:Wingatehad consideratelywaitedforapauseinthegamebeforehecalledtothecaptainoftheRemove. Itwasonlyapickupgame,sevenaside.ManyfellowshadgoneoutofgatesbeforeWharton startedtopickupsides.ButtheRemovewereaccustomedtoplaysoccerwiththeaccentonthe "play";andthey"urgedtheflyingball"withtheiraccustomedkeennessandvigour.Fourmembers ofthefamousCo.wereinoneoftheSides:wheretheothermemberwas,theydidnotknow. Theirdisgruntledchumhavinginspiteofgoodadviceandsweetreasonablenessgoneoffon hisbike,theCo.hadbeenleftratherataloss.Theyhadarrivedatthebikeshed,onlyintimetosee Bobdisappearoutofthegateonhismachine,andhehadnoteventurnedhisheadwhenthey called. Perhapshehadexpectedthemtofollowon.Buttheyhadagreedunanimouslyto"chuck"theride toHighcliffeforthatday:moreover,itseemedquiteprobablethatBob,whenhefoundthatthey didnotfollow,wouldthinkbetterofitand"chuck"italso.Theyhopedthatgoodsensewould prevail,andthathewouldcomeinbeforeitwastoolate,realisingthatevenwritingoutthewhole conjugationofaLatinverb,activeandpassive,wasbetterthantroublewithQuelch.Sothecaptain oftheRemoveproceededtopickupsidesforagame,andBobforthepresentwaslefttohisown devices. Itwasquiteagoodgame,andthechumsoftheRemoveforgotothermattersonceithadstarted. OnesidenumberedWharton,Nugent,JohnnyBull,HurreeSingh,OgilvyandRussell,with Hazeldeneingoal;theother,VernonSmith,Redwing,Bolsovermajor,MickyDesmond,Smith minor,Kipps,withElliottingoal. ThesecondhalfwasnearitsendwhenWingatecamestridingdowntoLittleSide,withafrownon hisbrow.Wingate,asrequestedbyMr.Quelch,hadbeenlookingforCherryoftheRemove,buthe hadnotfoundhim,sofar,andhewasnotfeelingpleased.Histimethoughhehadnotcaredto mentionthatcircumstancetoMr.Quelchwasofvalue,andhedidnotwanttoexpenditrooting overtheschoolforanelusiveLowerboy. "Whatthedickensdoeshewant?"mutteredWharton,ashelookedroundatWingate'scalling voice. "Bettergoandsee,"suggestedNugent. Whartongaveagrunt,andwalkedacrosstowhereWingatewasstanding.Thecaptainofajunior formwassmallbeer,incomparisonwiththecaptainoftheschool:andtheRemovegamehadto wait. "Youcalledme,Wingate?"saidHarry. "Yes!Where'sCherry?" "BobCherry?"repeatedHarry. "Yes:he'swanted.Whereishe?Isupposeyouknowyou'realwaysinagangtogether,"grunted Wingate."Icanseehe'snothereplaying.Whereishe?" "Oh!"saidHarry.HerealisedthatthismeanttroubleforBob."IsitQuelchwhowantshim?" "Yes!I'vebeenlookingallovertheplaceforhim,"saidWingate."Quelchwantshimbadly." "Isupposethatmeansthathehasn'tdonehisimpot." "Idon'tknowwhetherhehadanimpotornot.IknowQuelchwantshim,totaketotheHead!I've wastedenoughtimealreadywhereishe?" "QuelchisgoingtotakehimtotheHead!"exclaimedHarry,indismay. "Sohesaid!Whereishe?" "Hewentoutofgates,agoodtimeago,"answeredHarry."Beforewestartedthisgame.II thoughtverylikelyhe'dcomein,andgotonwiththatrottenimpot.IIsupposehehasn't!But lookhere,Wingate,Quelchwouldn'ttakehimtotheHeadjustfornotwritinghisLatinpaperon time." "ItellyouIdon'tknowanythingaboutaLatinpaper.Cherryiswantedforswampinghisbeakwith soot." "Soot!"repeatedHarry,blankly.Therewereexclamationsamongthefootballers,mostofwhom caughtwhatWingatesaid.

"Theyoungassseemstohavelandedhisbeakinaboobytrap,"saidWingate."Idon'tknowthe particulars,orjustwhereithappened,butQuelchlookedhorrid.AreyousureCherry'soutof gates?" "Iknowhewent,"saidHarry.Ifhecamein,Ihaven'tseenhim." Wingateglancedoverthefootballers. "AnyofyouseenCherry?"hecalledout. Therewasageneralshakingofheads.Nobodyonthesoccerfieldhadanyinformationtogive. "Notsincewestartedthisgame,Wingate,"saidNugent,"andthatwasnearlyanhourandahalf ago." Wingategaveagruntofannoyance.. "Theyoungass!"hesaid."Isupposehe'skeepingclearafterwhathe'sdone.Itwon'tdohimany good." TheGreyfriarscaptainstalkedaway,leavingthefootballersinabuzz.Afewminutesagotheyhad beenkeenonthegame,thinkingofnothingbutsoccer.ButWingatesstartlinganddismaying newshadputpaidtothepickup. "We'llchuckthis,Smithy,"saidHarryWharton,abruptly. "O.K.We'vemissedsomething!"saidtheBounder,withagrin."I'dliketohaveseenQuelchwith hisNewLook!" "It'srot,"saidHarry,withadeepbreath."AboobytrapandsootBobwouldn'tbesuchanass." "Bob'soutofgates,"saidJohnnyBull."Hecouldn'thave."ThenJohnnybrokeoff,indismay. "Oh!CouldhehavefixeditforQuelchbeforehewentout?HejollywellknewthatQuelchwouldgo uptothestudiesforhim,ifhedidn'ttakeinhispaper.Ifithappenedinhisstudy." "It'snotlikeBob,"saidTomRedwing."There'ssomemistake." TheBoundergaveascoffinglaugh. "QuelchseemstothinkthatitwasCherry,ashesentWingatehuntingforhim,"hesaid."Bygum! That'sthechapwhosaidthathedidn'twanttogetbackonQuelch,andsnappedafellow'shead offandallthewhilehehaditfixedfortheoldbean." "Idon'tbelieveit,"snappedWharton. "Quelchdoes!"sneeredtheBounder. Whartonmadenoanswertothat.TheRemovefootballershurriedacrosstothechangingroom, anxioustojointhecrowdintheHouse,andhearthelatestnews.Fourfaceswereveryclouded. TheCo.hadexpectedBobtolandintotroublewithQuelch,ifthatwretchedimpotwasnothanded in.Butwhathadhappenedwasutterlyunexpectedanddismaying. "It'srot,"mutteredWharton,ashekickedoffhisboots."Bobwouldn'tdoit.It'ssomerotten mistake." "Ifithappenedinhisstudy!"saidJohnnyBull,dubiously. "Idon'tsupposeitdid." "Weshallsoonfindoutthatmuch,"saidFrankNugent."Butevenifitdid,Idon'tseethatthatputs itonBob.Thereareotherfellowsinthatstudy.Inkywaswithus,but." IfLinley'soveratLanthamthisafternoon,"saidHarry."Ishouldhavecalledonhimforthepick up,ifhe'dbeeningates.AndWunLungIcan'tseethatlittleChineselayingboobytrapsfora beak.ButBobwouldn't." "HewasjollyshirtywithQuelch!"saidJohnnyBull."Iknowhewasbuthewouldn't,allthe same.Andwedon'tknowthatithappenedinhisstudyatall.Ifitdidn't,Idon'tsee." "Youfellowsheard?"WilliamWibley,oftheRemove,putagrinningfaceintothechangingroom. "HeardaboutQuelch?SmotheredwithsootandstickystuffblackasaniggerIcantellyou, Solomoninallhisgloryhadn'tathingonQuelch,"Wibleychuckled."Youshouldhaveseenhim." "Wheredidithappen,Wib?"calledoutHarryWharton. "InBobCherry'sstudy." "Oh!" "That'sthat,then!"gruntedJohnnyBull. "Sureofthat,Wibley?"askedNugent. Wibleychortled.

"Whatdoyouthink?I'vebeenuptoseelotsoffellowshave.There'sajollyoldoceanofsoot,and ink,andallsortsofstuff,inthedoorway,whereQuelchgotit.Bobwasn'tmeanwiththestuffhe letQuelchhavelots." "HowdoyouknowitwasBob?"snappedWharton. "Eh!Quelchsaidso." "Well,howdoesQuelchknow?" "Haven'taskedhim,"answeredWibley,withagrin."ButIsupposeheknows,ashesaidso. PerhapsheremembersthathegaveBobsixthismorning.HesgoingtotakeBobtotheHead,soI supposeheknows." TheCo.leftthechangingroominglumsilence. TROUBLEAHEAD! "HALLO,hallo,hallo!" BobCherry'svoicehaditsoldcheeryring. Hejumpedoffhismachine,atthegatenearthebikeshed,andnoddedtothefourjuniorswho werestandingthere.Theywatchedhiminsilenceashewheeledhisbicyclein.Therewereno signsof"shirtiness"nowaboutBob'sruggedgoodtemperedface.Evidentlythecloudshadrolled by,sofarasBobwasconcerned;andjudgingbyhislooks,hedidnotknowhowtheyhadbeen gatheringatGreyfriarsduringhisabsence. "Soyou'vecomeback,"saidJohnnyBull. "Lookslikeit,doesn'tit?"Bobstoppedandlookedatthefourglumfaces,andcolouredalittle. "Lookhere,youfellows,noneedtolookatafellowlikeafamilyofgargoylesorgriffins.IknowI've beenratheranassandyouneedn'trubitin,see?" "DidyougotoHighcliffe?" "No,Ididn't,"gruntedBob."Iwasgoing,butasyoufellowsdidntcome,howwasItoexplain why?Ijustwentforaride.Andandthinkingitover,IthoughtItwasallabitfatheaded,and cameback.AndhereIamandI'mgladyoualllooksojollypleasedtoseeme,"saidBob, sarcastically. Hewheeledhisbikeintotheshed,leavingtheCo.exchangingglances.Theycouldguesseasily enoughhowIthadbeenthatarideinthefreshairhadbanishedbadtemperandresentment, andrestoredBob'saccustomedcheeryequanimity.Hehadcomebackhisoldsunnyselflittle guessingwhatwasawaitinghimattheschool. Thatseemedclearenoughtohisfriends,andevidencethatBobwasnotresponsibleforwhathad happenedinNo.13Study. Bobcametrampingoutafterputtinguphismachine. Heglancedfromfacetoface,puzzledandalittlerestive."Quelchbeeninquiringforme?"he asked. "Yes,"saidHarry. "Hewould,Isuppose!Idaresayhewentuptomystudyforme,asIdidn'tturnupwiththeimpot." "Hedid," "Well,Isupposetherewillbeaspotofbother,"saidBob."Icanstandit!Noneedtolooklikeaset ofmoultingowls,thatIcansee.Fellowshavecutanimpotbeforenowandnobonesbroken.I'm goingtotellQuelchI'msorryIdidn'ttakeinmyimpotontime.That'sgoodenough,Isuppose.He willdoubleit,Iexpectwell,IcanwriteouttworottenconjugationsinsteadofoneIdaresayit servesmeright." "Youdon'tknowwhat'shappened?"askedJohnnyBull. "Hasanything?" "Yes." "Well,notbeingagiddymagician,Idon'tknowwhatmayhavehappenedherewhileIwasmiles awayonabike.Whatisit?Bunterburstatlast?" "It'sQuelch,"saidHarry.
CHAPTERX

"Ishespeciallyratty?Idon'tseewhyheshouldbe,"gruntedBob."Halfthefellowsarelatewith impots,ifyoucometothat.IfI'dstayedouttillroll,hemightgethishairoffbutI'vecomeinin plentyoftimetohandinthatputridimpotbeforeroll.I'mgoingintospeaktoQuelch,andthenup tothestudytoslogatit.IfQuelchfeelslikegivingmeanothersix,hecangetonwithit,andbe blowedtohim.""Itisn'tthat,Bob," "Quelchwentuptoyourstudyafterthatimpot,Isupposeandputhisheadintoaboobytrap." "Oh,myhat!" "Wewereinapickup,anddidn'tseehimbutfromallaccounts,hewassmotheredfromheadto footwithsoot,andink,andgum,andallsortsofstuff." "Phew!"BobCherrychuckled."PooroldQuelch!Musthavebeenasurpriseforhim!Bygum,I shan'tfindhiminagoodtemperafterthat!Whodidit?" "Didn'tyou?"askedJohnnyBull. Bobstaredathim. "Didn'tI?"herepeated."Mad?HowcouldIcatchQuelchinaboobytrapwhenIwasridinground Redclyffeonabike?"Bob'sfaceflushed."AnddoyouthinkIwould,either?Thatkindofthing mightbealarkamongthefellows,butit'sadirtytrickonanoldjohnnylikeQuelch!Lookhere." "Quelchthinksyoudid." "Whatrot!" "Well,hedoes,"saidNugent,"andyourbeingoutmakesnodifferencetherottenthingwasgot readyforQuelchwhenhecameup,andifyoudidit,youdiditbeforeyouwentout.Youhadthe placetoyourselfInkywaswithus,andMarkLinleyoveratLantham,andwe'vefoundoutthat WunLungwenttoCourtfieldforthepicturesafterdinner.Butifyousayyoudidn't." "Well,IdosayIdidn't!"snappedBob. "That'sthat,then,"saidHarry."Youdidn't!Butwhothedickensdid?" "Thewhofulnessisterrific." "Idon'tseewhyQuelchshouldputitdowntome,"saidBob."Plentyoffellowsmorelikelyit's moreinSmithy'sline,orSkinner's." "ItmusthavebeenafellowwhoknewthatQuelchwouldcomeuptoyourstudy,"saidHarry quietly."Youknewhewouldifyoudidn'ttakethatdashedimpottohimatthree.Iremember Nugentmentionedit,inourstudy." "Um!Isupposethat'swhatQuelchisgoingon,"saidBob."Well,Ineverdidit,andneverdreamed ofitandtheycan'tmakeoutthatIdidwhenIdidn't.IIsupposethere'saprettyrowon?" "Therowfulnessisterrific,"saidHurreeJamsetRamSingh,dismally."TheesteemedQuelchis preposterouslyinfuriated." "Well,Isupposeitwouldmakehimabitshirty,"saidBob."Blow!IwishI'ddonethatputrid impotIvebeenratherafool.Still,Quelchwaspilingitontoothicksixonthebags,anda stinkerlikethatoverandabove.ButbutIwish."Hebrokeoff."I'dbettergoinI'vegotto facethemusic,andit'snogoodhangingitout." TheFamousFivewalkedawaytotheHouse,withtroubledfaces.BobCherry'schumstookhis wordonthesubject,asamatterofcourseifBobsaidthathehadnotdoneithehadnotdoneit. ButtheycouldhardlyhopethatMr.Quelchwouldtakethesameview.Hehaddeclaredhis intentionoftakingBobtotheheadmaster,whichmeantthatthebeliefwasfixedinhismindthat BobCherrywastheculprit. TheBoundermettheminthequad,andgaveBobasarcasticgrin. "Soyou'veturneduptotakeyourgruel?"hesaid."Isupposethesefellowshavetoldyouthat Quelchknows." "They'vetoldmethatQuelchthinksheknows,Ifthat'swhatyoumean,"growledBob."I'dnever heardanythingaboutaboobytrapinmystudytilltheytoldmefiveminutesago." VernonSmithwhistled. "Isthatwhatyou'regoingtotellQuelch?"heasked. "Ofcourseitis,asithappenstobetrue." "Hem!" "Don'tyoubelieveme,Smithy?"askedBob,hiseyesbeginningtogleam. TheBounderlaughed.

"Keepyourwoolon,"hesaid."Ifthat'swhatyou'regoingtotellQuelch,Ihopeyou'llgetbywithit. Bestofluck!" "It'strue!"roaredBob. "Theysaythattruthisstrangerthanfiction,"smiledSmithy."Butifyoudidn'tsootQuelch,who did?Gotananswertothatone?" "HowshouldIknow?"snappedBob."You,aslikelynot." "I!"ejaculatedSmithy,withajump. "It'smoreinyourlinethanminearottentricklikethatonabeak.Ihadnothingtodowithit,at anyrate." "Notinmylinetogetnailedforit,asyou'vedone,"sneeredtheBounder."I'dhavehelpedyou togetbackonQuelchIofferedtowithoutgettin'hauleduptotheHead.Ifyou'dlistenedto me." "Well,Iwouldn'tandIwon'tnow,"saidBobgruffly."Goandeatcoke,Smithy."Bobtrampedon, followedbyhischums,leavingHerbertVernonSmithknittinghisbrows. Butamomentlater,Smithycutafterthem,andcaughtBobbythearm.TheBounderhadhisgood impulses,andhewasreallyconcernedaboutBob. "Holdonaminute,Cherry." "Oh,rats!Leavegomyarm,"snappedBob. "DolistentoachapI'mspeakingasafriend,"saidVernonSmith.Hismannerwasunusually earnest."Forgoodness'sake,don'tgoandlandyourselfinawfultroublebyspinningayarnthat Bunterwouldhavetoomuchsensetospin.Can'tyouseeit'sasclearasdaylight?" "What?"roaredBob. "Lookatit!"urgedSmithy."Havealittlesense,oldchap!Where'sthesenseindenyingwhat'sas plainasthesunatnoonday?" Bobjerkedhisarmaway,andfacedroundontheBounder,clenchinghisfists,withablazeinhis eyes.ButtheearnestexpressiononSmithy'sfacedisarmedhim.ItwasnotliketheBounderto concernhimselfmuchaboutotherfellows,andasarulehehadlittlesympathyforlameducks:but hislookshowednowthathewasreallyanxiousforBob. "Yousillyass,"saidBob,withadeepbreath."Isupposeyoucan'tunderstandthatsomefellows wouldn'ttellliestoabeaklikeyoudo,butItellyouIneverknew." "Nevermindthat,"saidVernonSmith."Justlisten.IfyouspinthatyarntoQuelch,youcan'texpect himtobelieveithowcouldhe?Lookatit,oldchap.Seehowitlooks!Youhadtogotoyourstudy towriteanimpot.YouknewthatQuelchwasshirty,andthathe'dcomeuptoyourstudyifyou didn'thandintherottenthingontime.Youdeliberatelywentoutofgates,andQuelchcameup andputhisheadintoaboobytrapatyourstudydoor,gotallreadyforhimwhenhecame.Whatis Quelch,oranybodyelse,tobelieve?" BobCherrystoodsilent.Hisfriendsexchangeduncomfortableglances.ThewaySmithyputit,it lookedashesaidasclearasthesunatnoonday.AndthatevidentlywashowQuelchlookedat ithowcouldhedootherwise?TheCo.believedBobbuttheycouldnothelprealisingthatit wasbecausehewastheirpalthattheytookhiswordagainstallprobability. "Yousee,oldfellow,itwon'tdo,"saidVernonSmith."I'mnotpreachin'atyouIknowthata fellowupagainstitcan'tbetooparticular.Butitwon'twashthat'sthepoint.Youmustthinkof somethin'better." "Somethingbetterthanthetruth?"askedBob. "Nevermindthat!Somethin'betterthantellin'Quelchyouneverdidit,whenheknowsyoudid.I canhelpyouthere." "YoucaninventalotofliesformetotellQuelch,doyoumean?" TheBounderbreathedhard. "You'renotaneasyfellowtohelp,"hesaid."ButI'dhatetoseeyousacked,allthesame." "I'dratherbesackedthantelllies,ifitcomestothat." "Oh,cutthatout,"snappedSmithy."Myadvicetoyouistotellthetruthasit'stheonlythingthat candoyouanygood.Stuffingabeakisallverywell,ifamancangetbywithit.Butyoucan't!Can't youseethatyoucan't?Lookhere,Cherry,havealittlesense.Quelchisasmadasahatterover gettingsooted,andyoucan'twonderatit.Hewillbemadderifyoutellhimastringofliesthathe

couldn'tbegintobelieve.Thatwillbethelaststraw,andyou'llbeproperlydished.Can'tyousee that?" "Who'sgoingtotellhimastringoflies?"bawledBob. "Youare,ifyoudenywhateverybodyknowsistrue.Forgoodness'sake,thinkfirst.There'sone chancejustonechanceofpullingthrough,"urgedSmithy."GotoQuelch,ownuptowhatyoudid, tellhimyou'resorry,tellhimyouknowyouactedlikeafool,beghispardonandyoumaygetoff withaflogging.Quelchisn'treallyahardman,ifyoutacklehimtherightway.Hedoesn'twanta maninhisFormsacked,ifthere'sawayout.Givehimachance,can'tyou?" BobgavetheBounderalonglook.Then,withoutanotherword,heturnedhisbackonhim,and walkedontotheHouse,hisfriendsfollowing.TheBounderstaredafterthem,andthenshrugged hisshouldersandwalkedaway. Wingatewasatthedoor,andhecalledtoBobasthejuniorscameup. "Cherry!Wherehaveyoubeenallthistime,youyoungsweep?Yourformmasterwantsyouinhis study." "Iknow,"answeredBob. "Well,cutinatonce." BobwentintotheHouse.HisfriendsaccompaniedhimtothecornerofMasters'Studies,andwith glumfaceswatchedhimgoupthecorridorandtapatMr.Quelch'sdoor.Hewentintothestudy, andtheCo.waited,inaworriedmood. Theyhadnotlongtowait.Hardlymorethanaminutelater,thestudydooropenedagain,andMr. QuelchcameoutwithBob.TherewasnosignofsootaboutMr.Quelchnow!Hewashisusual spotlessselfoncemore.Hisfacewascalmbutsetinahard,grimexpressionthatbodedillfor thehaplessjuniorwhofollowedhim. Mr.Quelchdidnotevenglanceatthewaitingjuniors,butBobgavethemaruefulglanceashe passed.Thentheywentontotheheadmaster'sstudy,andthedoorofthatdreadedapartment closedafterthem.TheCo.lookedatoneanotherinsilence,anddriftedawaytotheRag,towait thereforBob,wonderingdismallywhatwasgoingtohappentotheirchumbeforetheysawhim again.
CHAPTERXI

SACKED!

"ISAY,youfellows." HarryWhartonandCo.didnotheedthesqueakofBillyBunter.Hadtheytakennoteofhim,they mighthaveobservedthatthefatOwlwaslookingunusuallyworriedandtroubled.BillyBunter wassprawlinginanarmchairintheRag,withacloudonhispodgybrow,andadismalblink behindhisbigspectacles.Hewaslisteningtothetalkofacrowdoffellows,withouttakingpartin itwhichwasveryunusualforBunter.GenerallyBunterhadplentytosay,oftentoomuch.Now hewassilenttilltheCo.camein,whenhecalledtothem.ButthechumsoftheRemovehad neithertimenorinclinationforBillyBunter,andtheypassedhimbyliketheidlewindwhichthey regardednot. TherewasabuzzofvoicesintheRagandonlyonetopic.Therewas,indeed,onlyonetopicat GreyfriarsSchoolbythattimethesootingoftheRemoveMaster.FromthebeaksinCommon Room,downtothesmallestandinkiestfaginthepassages,thewholeschooldiscussedit. Itwasanunprecedentedhappeningitwas,asMr.ProutdeclaredinCommonRoom, unparalleled.Itwas,asWingateremarkedtotheothergreatmenoftheSixthinthePrefects' Room,thelimit.Itwas,asHoraceCokertoldtheFifthFormmeninthegamesstudy,abitthick evenforacheekyRemovefag.Itwas,asHobsonsaidintheShell,altogethertoorich.Itwas,as CecilReginaldTempleconfidedtoDabneyandFryoftheFourth,theoutsideedgeinfactthe veryrim!Thattheperpetratorofsuchanactwouldbe"sacked"wentwithoutsaying.Evenif QuelchwasdisposedtogoeasywhichwashighlyimprobabletheHeadwasboundtocome

downlikeatonofbricks.ThemanwhohadsootedQuelchwasbookedforthelongjump.Andthe manwasknownitwasBobCherry. BillyBunter,ashelistened,wasonlytoothankfulthatthenamewasnotknowntobeWilliam GeorgeBunter!Buthewasdeeplyworried. FewfellowswouldhavesuspectedBunterofindulgingintheluxuryofaconscience.Buteven Bunterhadaconscienceofsorts! AlltheworriedfatOwlwantedwastokeephisownpartintheaffairadeepdeadsecret.Hedid notwanttheblametofallonanotherfellow.IthadsofallenandBunter'sfatconscience,suchas itwas,wastroubled. Certainlyitdidnotoccurtohimtoownup,andtaketheunpleasantmedicinehimself.Thatidea didnotevenenterhismindatall.Morethanever,nowthatheknewitwasamatterofexpulsion, itwasnecessaryforhimtokeephissecretthatwashowBunterlookedatit.AlltheKing's horsesandalltheKing'smencouldnothavedraggedaconfessionfromhim.Butitwasawfulfor pooroldBobBunterfeltthat,andhewasdeeplydismayedanduneasy.Hewouldhavedone anythingexcepttheonlythingthatwouldhavebeenofanyusetohelpBoboutofthisscrape. QuiteunawareoftheworryonthefatOwl'smind,andinfactnotevenrememberinghisexistence atall,thecrowdintheRagdiscussedthatexcitinghappening.Quelchinhissootystatehadevoked merrimentbutnowthatitwasknownthatamanwastobe"bunked",allthefellowsrealised thatitwasserious.Moreandmorefellows,cominginfromexcursionsoutofgates,heardthe news,andjoinedinthebuzzoftalk.AllornearlyalltheRemovewereintheRag,whentheCo. camein.HarryWhartonandCo.couldnothelpnotingthatnotafellowexpressedanydoubtthat Bobhad"doneit".Thatwastakenforgrantedasindeedtheythemselveswouldhavetakenitfor granted,butforBob'sdenial.Smithywasnottheonlyonewhothoughtitas"plainasnoonday". Certainly,therewasplentyofsympathywithBob,butnobodydoubtedthathehadaskedforwhat hewasgoingtoget. MarkLinleycameovertotheCo.withacloudedface.TheLancashirejuniorwasveryfriendlywith Bob,inNo.13Study,andthenewshadbeenashocktohimwhenhecameinfromLantham. "Youfellowsknow,ofcourse!"hesaid. "Yes,"saidHarry. "KnowwhereBobisnow?" "QuelchhasjusttakenhimtotheHead!" "PooroldBob!Whatonearthcanhavemadehimdoit?"saidMark."Iknowhewaswildwith Quelchbutbutitwasn'tlikehimtodosuchathing.IfI'dknownwhathehadinmind,I wouldn'thavegoneoutthisafternoonbuthowcouldafellowthink." "Bobsaysheneverdidit,"saidHarry. "Oh!He'ssaidso?" "Yes." "Thenwhoonearthdid?"exclaimedMark,blankly."WhowouldwanttosootQuelchandwho couldhaveknownhewouldbecominguptoourstudyBobknew,becausehewentoutinstead oftakinginhisimpotbutwhoelse?" "YoubelieveBob?" "Yes,ofcourse.Ifhesayshedidn'tdoit,hedidn't!IknowoldBobwellenoughtobelievethat. Butwell,itbeatsme." "Hallo,"calledoutSkinner,"what'sthat?IsCherrymakingoutthathedidn'tsootQuelch?" "Yes!"growledJohnnyBull. "Myhat!He'sgotanervetotakethatline!Why,Quelchknowshedid,justasifhesawhimfixingit up!"exclaimedSkinner,inastonishment. "Whatonearth'sthegoodofspinningthatyam?"askedSnoop,staring."DoeshethinkQuelchisan idiot?" "IsBobgoingtotelltheHeadthat?"askedPeterTodd. "Yes!It'strue." "Um!"saidPeter. "Let'shopetheHeadwillthinkit'strue,"saidSkinner,withagrin. "Thetruefulnessisterrific,myesteemedanddisgustingSkinner,"saidHurreeJamsetRamSingh.

Skinnerlaughed. "Mindshuttin'up,Skinner"cameadrawlfromadeeparmchair,inwhichLordMaulevererwas reposinghisaristocraticlimbs."Yourathergetonafellowsnerves,ifyoudon'tmindmy mentioningit." Skinnerstaredroundathim. "Doyoubelievethat,Mauly,youass?" "Yaas." "WhosootedQuelch,ifCherrydidn't?"askedHazeldene. "Askmeanother,"saidLordMauleverer."Itsuptotheprefectstofindthatout.Bobdidn't." "Howdoyouknowhedidn't,fathead?"demandedBolsovermajor. "Haven'tyoujustheardWhartonsaythatBobsayshedidn't?Isn'tthatgoodenoughforyou?" "ThinkitwillbegoodenoughfortheHead?"askedSkinner."Isupposeyoudon'tknowwhatasilly assyouare,Mauly.Afellowwillsayanything,whenhe'supforthesack,ofcourse.Iwonderhow manyfellowsherewillbelieveCherry'syarn." "Well,Ido,forone,"saidSquiff. "AndI,foranother,"saidTomBrown. "Samehere,"saidOgilvyandRussell,together. "Isay,youfellows,sodoI,"squeakedBillyBunter."It'sjollyrottenforQuelchtomakeoutthat Bobdidit,whenhejollywelldidn't." "Knowwhodid?"sneeredSkinner. "Eh!No!HowshouldIknow?IIdon'tknowanythingaboutit,ofcourse,"saidBunter,ingreat haste."Iwasntupinthestudiesthisafternoon.Butbutit'sjollyrottentopickonoldBoblike that!" HarryWhartonandCo.glancedatthefatOwlcuriously.BillyBunter'scontributiontothe discussionsurprisedthem:Bunterreallywasnotthefellowtheywouldhaveexpectedtobackup amanwhowasdown. Bunterblinkedatthem.. "Isay,youfellows,isBobwiththeBeaknow?" "Yes,"saidHarry. "IIsay,thinkhe'llbebunked?" "Goodnessknows." "Oh,lor'!"saidBunter,dismally."Isay,it'srotten." "Therottenfulnessisterrific,myesteemedBunter,"saidHurreeJamsetRamSingh. "Quelchoughttotakeafellow'sword,"mumbledBunter."Butthat'sQuelchallover!He'srefused totakemyword,beforenow.Youfellowsknowhehas." "Fathead!" "Oh,really,Bull!Butlookhere,youchaps,theycantsackBobforitwhenheneverdidit." "Yousee,theyhappentoknowhedid,"saidSkinner. "Beast!" LordMauleverersatup. "OneofyoufellowsmightkickSkinner,"hesaid"Idontwanttohavetogetoutofthisarmchair," Skinnermovedawayratherhurriedly. Therewasastepinthedoorway,andallthefellowslookedround.ButitwasnotBob.The BoundercameinwithTomRedwing. "CherrygoneuptotheHead,Wharton?"heasked "Yes." "Ishestickingtowhathesaidinthequad?" "Isupposeso." "Morefoolhe!"saidVernonSmith,withashrug."What'sthegoodofit?BlessedifIcanmakethe chapout." "WhateverBobtellstheHeadwillbetrue,Smithy,"saidTomRedwing,quietly. TheBounderlaughed. "Lookhere,Smithy!"beganJohnnyBull,inadeepgrowl.

TheBounderglancedoverthecrowdintheRag,fromfacetoface,andturnedbacktotheCo.,with asneeringgrin. "We'reallhere,"hesaid,"everymanintheRemove,exceptingCherry.ItwasaRemovemanwho sootedQuelch.Well,ifitwasn'tCherry,theman'shere.Pickhimout." "Oh!"saidHarryWharton,slowly. "Somemanheredidit,andisleavingitonBobCherryprettysortofaworm,what?"sneeredthe Bounder."Well,who'stheworm?" TheRemovefellowslookedatoneanother,ratherblankly.Therewasalongsilence.Itwasbroken byasqueakfromBillyBunter. "Isay,youfellows!Here'sBob." Alleyessweptroundtothedooragain.BobCherrycameintotheRag.Hecameinquietly,his ruddyfacealittlepale. "Bob,oldman." "What'shappened?" "What'stheverdict." "MyesteemedBob." "Forgoodness'sake,oldchap,what?" BobCherrydrewadeep,deepbreath.Hisvoicewasquietandsteadyasheanswered. "I'msacked." CHAPTERXII BUNTERISWORRIED "TODDY,oldchap!" "Parkit!"saidPeter,briefly. "Oh,really,Toddy." "Giveusarest,fathead." PeterToddwasgenerallymoreorlesspatientwithhisfatstudymateinNo.7.Buthewasworried andbotherednow,andhadnouseforconversationfromBillyBunter. Itwas"prep"intheRemovestudiesorshouldhavebeen.ButfewfellowsintheFormwere givingmuchattentiontoprepthatevening.AmanintheRemovehadbeen"sacked":BobCherry, undersentenceofexpulsion,wasspendinghislasteveningatGreyfriars.Itwasathrillof excitementtoall,andamatterofdeepconcerntomany.InNo.7,asinmoststudies,therewere seriousfaces.PeterToddlookedworried,TomDuttonsolemn,butBillyBunter,strangetorelate, wasthemostlugubrious.Buntersatinthestudyarmchair,noteventhinkingofprep,blinking dismallythroughhisbigspectacles.ThesackingofBobCherrywasashocktoalltheRemove, especiallytohischums:butBillyBunterwasquiteunexpectedlytakingittoheart.Itreallywasnot Bunter'susualwaytoconcernhimselfundulyaboutthemisfortunesordisastersofotherfellows: asarulehecouldbearsuchthingswithremarkableequanimity.ButforoncethefatOwlwas thinkingofafellowwhosenamewasnotWilliamGeorgeBunter.Still,Toddycouldn'tbeexpected toguessthatone.Itwassuchanovelty. "Butlookhere,Toddy!"mumbledBunter. TomDuttonwasatwork,inadesultoryway.Peterhadstarted,butendedbyshyinghisbooksinto acorner,andnowhewasmovingaboutthestudyrestlessly.Hestopped,togiveBillyBuntera glare." "Forgoodness'sake,ringoff,fatty,"hesaid."LookhereI'mworriedaboutoldBob.Youwouldnt understandthat,butIam,see?Sodryup." "I'mworriedtoo,Peter." "YesIcanseeyouworryingaboutanythingbutacakeorajamtart,"saidPeter,sarcastically. "Youfatvillain,it'sallmoreyourfaultthananybodysyoulandedBobinarowwithQuelchin thefirstplaceandthatswhyhediditifhedid." "Hehehedidn't,Peter."

"Oh!Youthinkhedidn't?"askedPeter,rathermoreamicably."Well,hesayshedidn't,andhispals believehim.Notthatthatmattersalotit'swhatQuelchandtheHeadbelievethatmatters.It looksasclearasdaylight,andI'mblessedifIcanguesswhodiditifBobdidn't.IfBobdidn'tdoit, heseemstohavedonehisbesttomakeitlookasifhedid.Whatdoyouthink,Dutton?" "Eh!"Thedeafjuniorlookedup.'Nottillsupper,Peter." "Nottillsupper!"repeatedPeter,blankly. "No.Idon'twanttodrinkanythingoverprep.Stillifyou'regoingtomakecocoa,Illhavesome." "Ididn'tsaydrinkIsaidthink!"howledPeter. "WhatdoyouthinkaboutCherry?" "That'srot,"answeredDutton."Quelchwouldn'tletushavesherry.Youdon'tmeantosayyouve gotsherryinthestudy?" "DoyouthinkBobCherrysootedQuelch?"roaredPeter. "Oh!No!Hesayshedidn't,andthatsgoodenoughforme,"answeredTomDutton,shakinghis head."Andyouneedn'tshout." "Well,ifit'sgoodenoughforyou,Isupposeitsgoodenoughforme,"saidPeter."Butifitwasn't Bob,whothedickenswasthefellow?" "NoneedtobellowIcanhearyouallright." "Brrrrr!"gruntedPeter.Andheresumedhisperambulationofthestudy."Ifitwasn'tBob,and wecouldspotthefellow,we'djollywellmakehimownup.Yououghttoknow,Bunter,youfat ass." "Eh!HowcouldIknow?"gaspedBunterinalarm. "Don'tyouknoweverything?"yappedPeter."Aren'tyoualwaysnosingintothings,pokingyourfat bokointoeverythingthatgoeson?Isthereakeyholeintheschoolyouhaven'thadaneyeoran earat?" "Beast!" "Whycouldn'tyouhavebeennosingaboutthestudiesthisafternoonasperusual?"growled Peter."Thenyoumighthavespottedwhodiditifitwasn'tBob.Yournosingmighthavecomein usefulforonce.Brrrrr!" BillyBunterwassilent.Theconversationwastakinganalarmingturnforhim.Hewasanxious aboutBobindeedhisplumpconsciencewastroublinghimquiteseverely.Buthewasstillmore anxiousabouthismoreimportantself. "It'stough,"saidPeter,afteranotherperambulationofNo.7Study."Still,whatelsecouldtheHead do?Youcan'tsootabeakandnothingsaid.ButifBobdidn'tdoitpooroldBob!" "IIsay,Peter,can'twedoanything?"mumbledBunter."IIthinksomethingoughttobedone, Peter." "Well,what?"askedPeter. "IIdon'tknow!Butbutitain'tfair,andanditcan'tgoon,canit?" "LiketodropintotheHead'sstudy,andadvisetheoldbeantothinkagain?" "Eh!Oh!No." Petergrunted,andsatdown,atlast,todoalittlework.AfteralltherewasQuelchinthemorning! ButBillyBunterwasnotthinkingofdoinganywork.Hesatdismallyinthearmchairforatime, butheavedhimselfupatlast,androlledtothedoor. "Goingoutinprep?"gruntedPeter. "Blowprep." Bunterrolledout. HerolledalongtoNo.13Study,pushedopenthedoor,andblinkedin.ThreeRemovefellowswere thereHurreeJamsetRamSingh,MarkLinley,andlittleWunLung.Theyseemedtobethinkingof anythingbutprep.HurreeSingh'sduskyfacewasdeeplyclouded,MarkLinleywastroubled,and thelittleChinee,curledupinanarmchair,lookedthepictureofwoe. "Isay,youfellows,where'sBob?"askedBunter. "IntheHead'shouse,"answeredMark. "Oh!Ain'tweseeinghimagain?" "Ihopethey'llletussaygoodbye,atleast.Idon'tknow."

"Hehehe'sreallygoing?"gaspedBunter. "Ofcourse.He'ssacked," "Oh,lor'!" "Thegofulnessisthedeadlycert,myesteemedfatheadedBunter,"saidHurreeJamsetRam Singh,"andthemissfulnesswillbeworsethanthemilefulness." "Butbuttheycan'tboothim,whenheneverdidit,"mumbledBunter. Marksethislips. "Heneverdidit,"hesaid."Ifweonlyknewthefellowwhodidandwho'skeepingitdarkallthis while" BillyBunterrolledawaywithoutwaitingforMarktofinish.HisnextvisitwastoNo.1Study, whereheblinkedinatHarryWhartonandFrankNugent.Neitherofthemwasatprep,orthinking ofprep. Whartoncastanimpatientglanceatthefatfacelookinginatthedoor. "Cutoff,Bunter,"hesnapped. "Oh,reallyWharton." "Rollaway,"exclaimedFrankNugent."Don'tbothernow." "Oh,really,Nugent." Bunterdidnotrollaway.Herolledintothestudy,andshutthedoorafterhim.HarryWharton reachedforacushionbutdroppeditagain,ashereadthewoebegoneexpressiononthefat visage.Bob'shardfatewasaheavyblowtohischums,butwhyitshouldcomeasablowtoBunter wasratherapuzzle.Butevidentlyitdid. "Youyoufellowsaresurethathe'sgottogo?"askedBunter.ItseemedasiftheworriedfatOwl couldnotbelieveit,evenyet. "Yes,yes." "Whenishegoing?" "Earlytraininthemorning.He'sintheHead'shousefortonight.You'dbettergobacktoyour study." "Cccan'twedoanything?"mumbledtheunhappyOwl. "Whatcanwedo?" "IIsay,youfellows,weweoughttodosomething.Ififtheyweren'tinsuchabeastlyhurry, Quelchmightgetoverhistemper,andand." "Don'tbeanass,"growledthecaptainoftheRemove."Quelchwon'tgetoverhistemper,asyou callit,unlesstheyfindtherightman.They'drathersacktherightmanbuttheythinkthey'vegot him.Itlookslikeit,ofcourse." "Wewecan'tletitgoon,Itellyou.Bob'sratherabeast,Iknow." "What?" "Imean,kickingachap,andallthat,"saidBunter,"but." "Youfatass,getout." "Butit'stoothick,"saidBunter."IIjollywellknowBobneverdidit." "Mostofusknowthat.ButtheHeaddoesn't,"saidFrankNugent,"andQuelchdoesn't." "Hispalsoughttostandbyhim,"saidBunter. "Youfatchump,whatcanwedo?"snappedWharton."Supposesupposewehidehim somewhere?"suggestedBunter. "Hidehim!"repeatedHarry,blankly. "Yes,andiftheycan'tfindhim,theycan'thoofhimout,see?"saidBunter,eagerly. "Youhowlingass!" "Oh,really,Wharton!Youneedn'tcallafellownamesbecausehe'stryingtohelppooroldBobout ofascrape,"saidBunter,warmly."IcanjollywelltellyouthatI'mstickingtohim,ifyoufellows ain't." "Why,youyou!"gaspedWharton. "I'mbackinghimup,"saidBunter,firmly."Hekickedmetodayjollyhard,too!Idon'tcare!I'm standingbyhim,see?Kindestfriendandnoblestfoethat'sme." "Youbenightedchump!"

"Wecanjollywellhidehimsomewhere,"urgedBunter,"andkeepitdark,youknow,andthatwill giveQuelchtimetogetoverhistemper.ThenhemayletBoboffwithawhopping.Bobcanstanda whopping. "Ass!" "Imean,solongasheain'tsacked,it'sallright.Wecouldhidehiminthestudies," "Fathead!" "OrintheRag!Whataboutthechimney?" "Upthechimney!"stutteredWharton. "Yes!They'dneverfindhimthere!" "Youblitheringowl,getoutandgiveusarest." "Beast!" Bunterrolledoutagain.ThereseemednoencouragementinNo.IStudyforhisbrilliantideaof hidingBobCherryupachimney! Heblinkedround,inthepassage,waryofprefects,andjumpedashesawLoderoftheSixth staringathimfromthelanding. "Whatareyoudoingoutinprep,Bunter?"rappedLoder. "Oh!IIain'toutofmystudy,LoderIImeanImjustgoingbackIIjustwenttoborrowa LatindickoffWhartonII."TheOwloftheRemovebrokeoff,asLodermadeamotion towardshim,andboltedintoNo.7Studylikeafatrabbitintoaburrow.
CHAPTERXIII

BACKUP!

"WHARTON!" "Yes,sir." Itwasafterbreakfastinthemorning.Theautumnmorningwasbrightandsunny,butits brightnesswasnotreflectedinthefacesofagoodmanyfellowsatGreyfriarsSchool.ToHarry WhartonandCo.itseemedalmostimpossiblethattheyweretolosetheir,chumthatsunny morningthatthegatesofGreyfriarsweretoclosebehindBobCherry,forthelasttime.Yetitwas truealltheschoolknewthatwhentheRemovewentintotheirformroom,Bobwouldberolling offtoCourtfieldstation,totakethetrainhome,withaSixthFormprefectinchargetoseehim safelyoff. Whartonfeltamomentarygleamofhope,asMr.Quelchstoppedtospeaktohim.Butitfadedout asheglancedathisformmaster'sface.Mr.Quelchsmannerwasbynomeansunkindly,buthis facewasgrim,andtherewasnotavestigeofhopetobereadinit.Quelchwasnotahardman,and nodoubthehadsomerealisationofwhatBob'sfriendswerefeelinglike,buttowardsthehapless culprittherewasnorelenting. "Cherryleavesinhalfanhour,Wharton,"saidtheRemoveMaster."Ifyoudesiretospeaktohim beforeheleaves." "oh!Yes,sir." "Theheadmasterhasgivenhimleavetosaygoodbyetohisfriendshere.Heisnowinthejunior dayroom,ifyoudesiretospeaktohim." "Thankyou,sir,"saidHarry,inalowvoice. Itwassomething,ifnotmuch,toseeoldBobbeforehewent.ThecaptainoftheRemovecalledto hisfriends,andtheyhurriedtotheRag,wheretheexpelledjuniorwaswaiting. BobCherrywasstandingbythewindowthere,staringoutintothequad,andthecrowdoffellows whomhewasseeingforthelasttime.Hisfacewasdeeplyclouded,butitwascalm.Whathad happenedhadfallenonhimlikeaboltoutoftheblue,butBobcould"takeit". "Bob,oldman!" Bobturnedfromthewindow,astheCo.ranin.Hetriedtosummonupasmile."Hallo,hallo,hallo!" "Bob,oldchap!"mutteredHarry. "MyesteemedandridiculousBob!"mumbledHurreeJamsetRamSingh. "It'stoorotten,oldfellow,"saidNugent,withaquiverinhisvoice."Oh,it'stoorotten."

"It'sarottenshame,"growledJohnnyBull. "It'stough,"saidBob.Hisvoicewaslow,butsteady."Itwillhitthepaterhard.Isupposehe'sgot theHead'sletterbythistime.Can'tbehelped." "Quelchseemsashardasarock,"saidHarry. "I'mnotblamingQuelch,"saidBob,quietly."Whatwashetothink?Iwasanassasyoufellows toldme,Ioughttohavegoneuptomystudyandwrittenthatputridimpot.IfIhad,allthis couldn'thavehappened." "ButyouneversootedQuelch." "No!Goodnessknowswhodid.Ican'tmakethatout.Butyousee,itlooksallofapiece,tothe beaks.Chapmarchesoutagainstorders,knowingjollywellthathisbeakwillcomeupandlookfor himandthebeakputshisheadintoaboobytrapinthatchap'sstudyandthere'snoreason whyanyoneelseshouldhavedoneit,sofarasanybodyknows.Can'tblameQuelch,ortheHead thethingcouldn'tbeclearer,thewaytheylookatit.Itwasmyownfaultinthefirstplaceand I'vegottostandfortherest."Bobpaused,andsmiledfaintly."Yousee,I'vebeenthinkingitover, andI'mnotblaminganybody.Butit'stough!" "Thetoughfulnessisterrific,"groanedHurreeJamsetRamSingh. "Jollygladtoseeyoufellows,anyhow,beforeIclearoff,"saidBob."I'vegotleave,tillthebellrings forclass."Hewinced."You'llbegoingintothejollyoldformroom,andI."Hebrokeoff. "Isay,youfellows." "Oh,buzzoff,Bunter." "Shan't!Isay,Bob,oldfellow." "Hallo,hallo,hallo,oldfatman,"saidBob,withatouchofhisoldcheerymanner."Soyouhadan eggforbrekker?" "Eh!Howdoyouknow?"askedBunter,insurprise.Bobchuckled. "Elementary,mydearWatson,asSherlockHolmesusedtosay.Lotsofclues!" "Oh,really,Cherry!" Therewasatramplingoffeet,andPeterToddcamein,withSquiff,andTomBrown,andVernon Smith,andRedwing,andLordMauleverer.Acrowdfollowedthemin. "Hallo,hallo,hallo!Quiteaparty!"ejaculatedBob."Isay,youfellows,don'tyoupushachap!" squeakedBunter."Stopshovingme,Smithyyou'retreadingonmytoes,Penfoldgerrout, Wibleylookhere,Hazel." ThejuniorscrowdedroundBob,andBuntersqueakedunheeded.Everyfellowwantedalastword withhim.EverymanintheRemovehadturnedupevenSkinner,andSnoop,andStott,cameto saygoodbye.EvenFisherT.Fishcametosaythatiswassuretoughonaguy.LordMauleverer,for once,seemedtohavelosthisaristocraticpoise,andhisnoblefacewasaslongasafiddle.Bolsover majorclappedBobonthebacklittleWunLunghungontohisarmKippsdughimintheribs everyfellowtalkedatonce. Boblookedoverthecrowdandhecouldnothelpalumpcomingintohisthroat.Thewhole formeverymanintheRemovecrowdedroundhimfellowshehadliked,andfellowshe hadn'tlikedfellowshehadchummedwithandfellowswhoseheadshehadpunched.Allhis friendshadcometosaygoodbye,andhisfriendswerethewholeformeverymansorrythathe wasgoing. "Hardluck,oldman." "It'sjollyrotten." "Weshallmissyou,oldchap." "Isay,youfellows." "Shutup,Bunter!" "Beast!" "Weshallseeyouinthehols,oldboy." "Isay,youfellows,"yelledBunter,"willyoulistentoachap?Thebellwillbegoinginaminute. Lookhere,Bobain'tgoing." HarryWhartonandCo.staredatthefatOwl.Buntersplutteredwithexcitement. "Itellyouheain'tgoing!Wecanjollywellkeephimhere." "Yousillyass."

Clang!clang!clang! "Hallo,hallo,hallo,there'sthejollyoldbell,"saidBob."YoufellowswillhavetogoWingatewill becomingforme." Itwasthebellforclass,andtimewasup.Itwasafatefulsound,toBobandhisfriends.Butnot, apparently,toBillyBunter!HegrabbedBobbythearm. "Isay,oldchap!Holdon!Don'tgo!"gaspedBunter."We'lljollywellhideyouItoldthesefellows lastnight,buttheywouldn'tlistensupposeyouhideupthechimney,oldchap." "Oh,myhat!"ejaculatedBob. "Dryup,Bunter,youfatass." "Youshutup,Toddy!Youain'tgoing,Bobyouyouneverdidit,andyouain'tgoingtobe sacked!Itellyou." "Wingate'scoming!"calledoutSkinner. "Blow,Wingate!"howledBunter."Lookhere,youfellows,ain'tyoustandingbyapal?Theycan't hoofhimout,ifweallsticktohim!" HarryWhartonandCo.stared.WhyBunterwastakingitlikethis,theycouldnotguess.Buthis excitedwordsfoundanechointheirownhearts. "Bygum!"saidJohnnyBull,withadeepbreath."Wecould!" "Shutthatdoor,"gaspedBunter."KeepWingateout." "Youass,"saidPeterTodd."Quelchwillcomeforhimthen." "KeepQuelchout." "Whaaat?" "Barthemout!"gaspedBunter."Barthemallout!KeepBobhere!Isay,youfellows,sticktoBob andkeephimhere." "Myonlyhat!"ejaculatedBobCherry,staringblanklyattheOwloftheRemove."What'sthematter withBunter?Hasthateggforbrekkergonetoyourhead,oldfatman?" "Oh,really,Cherry!" HarryWhartongavehiscomradesalook.Thesamethoughtwasinalltheirminds.BillyBunter hadputittherebutthereitwas!Theydidnotspeaktherewasnottimeforwords.Eachread thethoughtinthefacesoftheothers.AndasWingate'streadwasheardinthepassage,Harry Whartoncutacrosstothedoor. Slam! "Harry,oldman!"exclaimedBob. ThecaptainoftheRemovedidnotheedhim.Heturnedthekeyinthelock,justasWingate reachedthedoorfromoutsideandturnedthehandleandpushed.Thedoorhandlerattled. "Here,openthisdoor!"camethevoiceofthecaptainofGreyfriars. "HaveyoucomeforBobCherry?"calledoutHarryWharton. "Yes." "We'renotlettinghimgo." "What?"roaredWingate. "Bob'sstayinghere." "Youyoungass!Openthisdooratonce." "Bob'snotgoing." "Willyouopenthisdoor?" "No!"saidHarryWharton. "IshallhavetocallQuelch." "Callhim,ifyoulike." Therewasapause,andthenWingatewashearddeparting.HarryWhartonturnedfromthelocked door,andlookedoverthecrowdofbreathlessfaces.Allwereexcited,afewuneasy,somealarmed. Itwasrebellion,andithadcomeswiftlyandsuddenly,takingthecrowdintheRagbysurprise. BobCherrystoodasifdumbfounded. TherewasachuckleofgleefromtheBounder.Smithy,atleast,rejoicedintheprospectofarow. "We'reallinthis!"saidHarry. "Youbet"chuckledVernonSmith.

"Wejollywellare!"saidJohnnyBull,emphatically. "Thejolliwellfulnessisterrific." "But!"stutteredBob. "O.K.,oldman,"saidFrankNugent."We'reallstandingbyyou." "But." "Ajollyoldbarringout,"saidVernonSmith,hiseyesgleaming."Bygum!Who'drathergointo formanddoconwithQuelch?" "But!"saidBobagain."Butbutyoucan't!You'llgetintoafearfulrow!Ican'tletyoudoit." HarryWhartonlaughed. "Youcan'tstopus!"hesaid."You'renotgoingBobwe'rekeepingyouhere.ThatfatassBunter hastalkedsenseforonceinhislife." "Oh,really,Wharton." "Lookhere,that'sallverywell,"exclaimedSkinner,"butIdon'twanttogetbunked,forone.I'm gettingoutofthis." "Shutup,Skinner!"bawledJohnnyBull. "Itellyou." "KickSkinner,somebody." "Yaroooop!"roaredSkinner,assomebodyobliged. "Ha,ha,ha!" "We'reallinthistogether,"saidtheBounder."Theycan'tsackawholeform.Shouldertoshoulder, anddownwiththebeaks." "Hear,hear!" "HerecomesQuelch!"murmuredNugent,asawellknowntreadwasheardinthepassage.The doorhandleturned.Thedoorremainedfast. Knock! SuddensilencefellintheRag. REBELLION! Mr.Quelch'sknucklesrappedsharplyontheoldoakpanels. Outsidethedoor,theRemovemasterstood,quiteanextraordinaryexpressiononhisface. Wingate'sreportthattheRemovewerelockedintheRag,thattheyhadtheexpelledjuniorthere andwouldn'tlethimgo,hadstartledandamazedQuelch.Ithadalsorousedhisdeepire.Henry SamuelQuelchhadnouseforrebellioninhisform. Bythattime,thebellhadceasedtoring.TheRemoveshouldhavebeengoingintotheirform room:theexpelledjuniorshouldhavebeenonhiswaytotherailwaystation.Insteadofwhich,he wasstillattheschool,andtheboysofQuelch'sformapparentlyfanciedthattheycouldkeephim there!Thefabledbasilisk'slookhadnothingonQuelch's,asherustledawaytothejuniorday roomtodealwiththisextraordinaryoutbreak,withpromptnessanddespatch. Knock! "Kindlyopenthisdoor!"Mr.Quelch'stoneswerequietdangerouslyquiet. Therewasnoreplyfromwithin. Thejuniorslookedatoneanother,insilence.Theywereaccustomedtoobeythatcommanding voice.IntheGreyfriarsRemove,HenrySamuelQuelchspokeasonehavingauthority,saying"Do this",andhedoethit!ForoncetheRemovemaster'svoicepass edunheeded. "Areyouthere,Wharton?"cameMr.Quelch'svoiceagain. "Yes,sir." "Openthisdooratonce,Wharton." "Sorry,sir!Wecan't." "Whatdoyoumean,Wharton?" "Wecan'tletCherrygo,sir." "Nofear!"breathedNugent.
CHAPTERXIV

"Thenofearfulnessisterrific." "Wharton!"Mr.Quelch'svoicewasstillquietbutithadasharpedgeonit."Youareawarethat Cherryhasbeenexpelledbyhisheadmaster.Aprefectisreadytotakehimtothestation.Hemust leaveatonce." "Cherryneverdidwhatyouthink,sir." "Thatmatterhasbeensettled,Wharton,andcannotbereopened.Areyouventuringtoquestiona decisionofyourheadmaster?"rumbledMr.Quelch. "We'renotlettingCherrygo,sir!" "Notinyourlifetime,oldbean,"calledouttheBounder,andtherewasabreathlessandrather uneasylaughfromsomeofthejuniors. "Shutup,Smithy,youass,"mutteredRedwing. "Uponmyword!VernonSmith,IknowyourvoiceIshallcaneyouseverelyforyourinsolence," exclaimedMr.Quelch."Cherry!Youarethere,Cherry?" "I'mhere,sir,"answeredBob. "Comeoutatonce,Cherry!Youmustbewellawarethatyoucannotremainhere,sinceyouhave beenexpelled.Icommandyoutocomeout." "Itwasn'tIthatsootedyou,sir." "Thatwilldo,Cherry!Willyouleavethatroomthisinstant?" "No,sir,Iwon't!"retortedBob."Myfriendsarestandingbyme,andI'mstickingon.I'mnotgoing tobesackedfornothing,ifIcanhelpit." "Hear,hear!"chuckledtheBounder."We'reallstandingbyyou,Cherry,oldscout.EvenBunter's burstingwithpluck.Aren'tyou,oldfatporpoise?" "Oh,crikey!"mumbledBunter.ItwasBunter,amazingtorelate,whohadstartedtheballof rebellionrolling.Ifitcametoabarringout,itwasBunter'sbarringout.Nevertheless,therapping voiceofhisformmasterstruckterrortoBillyBunter'sfatsoul. "We'reallstandingbyBob,sir!"calledoutSquiff. "NobodyherebelievesthatitwasBob." "IsthatFieldspeaking?" "Yes,sir!"answeredthejuniorfromNewSouthWales. "Ishallcaneyou,Field." "Thankyou,sir,"saidSquiff,politely. "Unlessthisdoorisopenedimmediately,everyboyherewillbecaned,andgivendetentionforsix halfholidays!"exclaimedMr.Quelch. "Lookhere,"mutteredSkinner."It'snotgoodenoughOw!Keepyourhoofsawayfromme,Bull, youhooligan." "Youtalktoomuch,Skinner,oldman,"saidJohnnyBull."Bettershutup." "Lookhere!"hissedSkinner. "Theshutupfulnessisthepropercaper,myesteemedfunkySkinner,"saidHurreeJamsetRam Singh."Speechfulnessissilvery,butsilenceisthecrackedpitcherthatsavesabirdinhandfrom goingtothewell,astheEnglishproverbremarks." "It'srot,"mutteredSkinner."Wecan'tstandupagainstthebeaks." "We'regoingtotry,atanyrate,"saidHarryWharton,"andanyfellowwhodoesn'tbackupthe formwillbejollywellbooted." Knock!knock!Quelch'sknucklesrappedontheoakagain.Heseemedtobegettingimpatient. "Forthelasttime,willyouopenthisdoor?"camehisvoice,inrisingtones. "Wecan'tletBobCherrygo,sir!"answeredthecaptainoftheRemove. "Ifyoucontinuethisrebelliousconduct,Wharton,youalsomaybeexpelledfromGreyfriars!" rappedMr.Quelch. "I'llriskthat,"saidHarryquietly."Wedon'tintenddisrespecttoyou,sir." "Don'twe?"chuckledtheBounder. "Shutup,Smithy." "butwe'restandingbyBobCherry,"wentonWharton."Wedon'tbelievethathedidwhatthe Headhassackedhimfor." "Weknowhedidn't,sir,"saidLordMauleverer."He'ssaidso."

"Silence!"roaredMr.Quelch. "Pleaselisten,sir,"saidHarry."Itwassomeoneelse,andweallknowit,anditwillcomeoutin time." "Oh,crikey!"breathedBillyBunter. "Weallhopeso,atanyrate,sir.We'rekeepingBobheretillitcomesout." "Iwillhearnomoreofthisimpertinence,Wharton.Unlessthisdoorisopenedimmediately,itwill beforced.Willyouopenitatonce?" "No,sir!" ThejuniorsheardMr.Quelchrustleaway.Theycouldguesshismoodashewent.Mostfacesinthe RagwereseriousonlytheBounderwasgrinning.SkinnerandSnoopwerealarmed,andFisher T.Fishveryuneasy.Butalmostalltheformwerebackinguptheformcaptain.TheFamousFive weretheaccustomedleadersoftheRemove,andwheretheyled,otherswerereadytofollow. "That'soneforQuelch'snob,"chuckledtheBounder."I'llbethe'sgoneforGosling,tobringhis toolsandgetthedooropen.Hewon'tdoitinahurry." "Lookhere!"mutteredSkinner. "I'llsayyouguyshavebittenoffmore'nyoucanchew,"remarkedFisherT.Fish."Yousurewantto guessagain." "It'stoojollyrisky,"mumbledSnoop. "Lookhere,youmen,"saidBobCherry."Ifyouchoosetostandbyme,I'mstickingitout.Butany manwhofunksithadbetterclear.Skinnerhasarighttogetoutwhilethegoing'sgood,ifhe chooses." "Rot!"snappedtheBounder."Sticktogether." "It'safreecountry,"saidBob."Anyfellowwhodoesn'twanttoseeitthroughcandropfromthe window,beforethetroublestarts.Oncewe'vebarredoutthebeaks,weshallallbeinittogether. Now'sthetime." SkinnerlookedatSnoopandStott.Stottgaveagrunt."I'mstandingbytheform,"hesaid."Dashit all,Skinner,evenBunter'sstandinguptoit!Let'sallsticktogether." "Buckup,Skinner,"squeakedBillyBunter."Beaman,youknow!Likeme!" "Ha,ha,ha!" "Well,theycan'tbunkthelotofus,ifwesticktogether,"saidSkinner:andSnoopnodded."What aboutit,Fishy?" FisherT.Fishrubbedhislongthinnosethoughtfully. "Stayingorgoing?"askedHarryWharton."There'sthewindow,ifyouwanttodropout.Notimeto waste." "Iguess." "Makeupyourmind,youass.Quelchwillbebackinaminuteortwo." "Iguess." "Thisisn'taguessingcompetition,"remarkedBobCherry. "IguessI'mseeingitthrough,"saidFisherT.Fish,makinguphismind."I'mtellingyouguysthat you'reabunchofboneheads,butIguessI'mtakingpotluckwithyou.Isuredon'twantQuelchall tomyselfI'lltellaman,hewillbehornmad,andaguywouldn'thaveagoodtimewithhimon hisown." "Anychapwanttogetoutbeforetherowbegins?"askedHarryWharton,lookingroundoverthe crowdoffaces.Butallheadswereshakeninreply.Nobodywantedtogetout. "Isay,youfellows,heretheycome!"squeakedBunter. Therewasasoundoffootstepsinthepassageoutside. Mr.Que1chwasreturning,nodoubtwithassistancetodealwiththedoor.Therewasasharp knockonanupperpanel. "Wharton!" "Yes,sir!" "Willyouopenthisdoor?" "No,sir!" "Gosling!" "Yessir!"

"Kindlyforcethelockofthisdoor,withoutdelay." "Itwon'tbeeasy,sir,"cameGosling'scrustytones."Itmustbedone,Gosling,andatonce." "WotIsaysisthis'ere,sir." "Losenotime,Gosling,"rappedMr.Que1ch. "WotIsaysisthis'ere,sirthattheredoorisadoor,andthattherelockisalock.Theymade doors,whenthattheredoorwasmade.And." "Youarewastingtime,Gosling." Grunt,fromGosling.Hewasheardtosetdownabagoftools.Then,withanothergrunt,he commencedoperations.Bang!bang!bang!clang!bang!Itwastrue,asGoslingdeclaredthatthe doorwasadoor,andthelockwasalock,madewhenpeoplereallymadedoorsandlocks,long beforethetimeofthemodernbuilder.ItwasnoeasytaskthatMr.Quelchhadsettheancient Greyfriarsporter.ButGoslingputhisbeefintoit,asithadtobedone.Bang!bang!bang!Then therewasasuddenyell. "Yooohoohoooooooop!Ow!Oooooh!" "Gosling!What?" "Ow!I've'ammeredmythumb!"cameananguishedwailfromGosling."Ow!Oooogh!I've 'ammeredit'ammeredit'ard!Wooooooh!" "Pleasebemorecareful,Gosling." "Ooooooooooh!" "Anddonotwastetime." "WotIsaysisthis'ere,sir,I've'ammeredmyblinkingthumb." "Kindlyrefrainfromusingsuchexpressions,Gosling!Andlosenomoretime,"rappedMr.Quelch, impatiently. Goslingwasheardtosnort.Thenheresumedoperations. Bang!bang!bang!Clang! THEFIRSTROUND! BANG!bang! ThedinwasheardalloverGreyfriars. Inalltheformroomsexceptingonefellowsstarted,andlookedround,andlookedatone anotherunaware,tillthebangingbegan,thatanythingunusualwasgoingonatGreyfriars.Now alltheschoolknewthatsomethingveryunusualwasgoingon. IntheSixthFormroom,theHeadstarted,andlistened,inamazement.TheSixthFormmenlooked atoneanother:onlyWingateguessingwhatwastoward.IntheFifthFormroom,Mr.Proutgave hisformawelcomerestfromLivy,andwenttotheformroomdoor,andstaredout.IntheShell, Mr.Hackeralsowenttothedoortostareoutinastonishment,andtheShellfellowswhisperedand wondered.IntheFourth,Mr.CapperleftTemple,DabneyandCo.totheirowndevices,whilehe faredforthtodiscoverwhatonearthwashappening.IntheThirdandtheSecondMr.Wigginsand Mr.Twiggcouldhardlyrepressthebuzzofexcitementamongthefags.Itwasanhistoricmorning atGreyfriarsSchool. Bang!bang!bang! Mr.Quelch'slipswerecompressedinatightline,ashewatchedGoslingatwork,almostdeafened bythebangingandclangingofhammerandchisel.Quelchwasonlytoowellawareofthe excitementthatwouldbecaused,throughouttheschool,bythisunprecedentedcommotion, breakingintothescholasticcalmofmorninglessons.ItwasgallandwormwoodtoQuelch.There wasnothingelsetobedoneiftherebelliousRemovitesrefusedtoopenthatdoor,ithadtobe forced,anditcouldnotbeforcedwithoutaterrificdin.Buteverybangoftheheavyhammerwasa blowtoQuelch,ashevisualisedtheexcitement,thewondering,thewhispering,ineveryform room:andstillworse,thecommentsoftheothermasters,later,whentheymetinCommon Roomthesarcasticremarks,theshruggingofshoulders.Mr.Quelch'sfeelingsweredeepand
CHAPTERXV

atthatmomenthewouldwillinglyhavegiveneverymemberofhisformnotmerelysix,butsixty, ifnotsixhundred,welllaidon. Bang!bang!bang! WhileGoslingbangedandclanged,thegarrisonoftheRagwerenotidle.Mr.Quelchcouldhear excitedvoicesfromwithin,andtherumblingandrollingoffurniturehastilyremoved. "Stickthetableagainstthedoor!" "Getthosearmchairsoverhere." "Buckup!" "Getoutofthatarmchair,Bunter,youfatass." "Beast!" "Shovethattablealong." TherewasalongheavytableintheRag,noteasilymoved.Adozenjuniorshadseizedit,andwere trundlingittothedoor.Therewasaloudcrashasitarrivedthere. Bang!bang!bang!Gruntingforbreath,Goslingbangedon.Therewasaloudcrackfromthelock. Goslingseffortsweretellingatlast. "Hallo,hallo,hallo!It'sgoing!" "Lookout!" "Braceupagainstthattable." "Theywon'tgetin!" "Isay,shoveBunteragainstthedoor!Nothingwouldshiftitthen." "Haha,ha!" Bang!bang!crack!crack!Themassiveoldlockwasyielding.Bang!crack!Goslinglabouredon,Mr. Quelchwatchinghimwithknittedbrows.Hehadsupposed,atfirst,thatoncethelockwasforced, thedoorwouldopenbutheknewnowthattherebelRemoviteswerebarricadingitfromwithin. Andthevoicesandlaughterinthedayroomshowedthatspiritswererisingthere:that,having. oncepassedtheRubicon,asitwere,therebelswerebeginningtoenjoythis,asatremendous "rag".Quelch'sfeelings,alreadydeep,grewdeeper!AndasMr.Capper,themasteroftheFourth, cameup,QuelchmethimwithalooksuchasMedusamighthavegivenhim.Quelchdidnotwant otherbeaksonthesceneinthesedisturbinganddistressingcircumstances. "MydearQuelch!"Mr.Capperalmoststuttered."Whatwhatwhatisgoingonhere,mydear Quelch!Thenoisecanbeheardallovertheschool.IsisGoslingbreakingdownthatdoor,oror what?" "Goslingisforcingthatdoor,Mr.Capper!Iregretthatyouhavebeendisturbed,"saidMr.Quelch, withalmostferociouspoliteness. "Butwhywhy?"gaspedMr.Capper. "Somejuniorshavelockedthedoor,Mr.Capper.Thatisall.Probablyyourattentionisrequiredin yourformroom,"suggestedMr.Quelch. "Really,Quelch." "Really,Capper." "Itisnoteasytocarryonclassinsuchadin,saidMr.Capper,warmly."Ifitisreallynecessaryto breakinthatdoor,Quelch,cannotitbepostponedtillafterclass?" "Itcannot,Mr.Capper."Bang!bang!bang! "Whatisallthis?"ItwasProut'sboom.TheFifthFormmasterwasalsocomingtoinvestigate. "Whatisallthis?QuelchCapperwhat.Gosling!Ceasethatnoiseatonce!Whatareyou doing?Stop!" "Goslingisactingundermyinstructions,Mr.Prout,"saidtheRemovemaster."Losenotime, Gosling." "Ifailtounderstandyou,Quelch,"boomedProut.Thisdinisdisturbinganddistractingthewhole school.Thewholeschool,sir,isbeingdisturbedanddistracted."Proutoftenrepeatedhisremarks, apparentlyundertheimpressionthattheywereworthhearingasecondtime. "Thewholeschool,sir."

 "Isanythingthematterhere?"ItwasMr.Hacker'sthin,acidvoice."ProutCapperQuelch whatisthisriotousdisturbance?" "That'stheAcidDrop!"cameavoicefromwithintheRag."Quelchisgettingallthebeaksround." "Ha,ha,ha!" "VernonSmith!"gaspedMr.Quelch."Ishallpunishyouseverely." "Firstcatchyourhare!"cameachucklefromtheBounder.Smithy,evidently,waswarmingtohis work!"ArethoseRemoveboysinthatroom?"exclaimedMr.Hacker."Arenotyourboysinyour formroom,Mr.Quelch?" Quelchbreathedveryhard. "Theyarenot,atthemoment,Mr.Hacker!Ishallconductthemthere,assoonasthisdooris opened." "Guessagain!"calledouttheBounder.Mr.Quelchseemedtochoke. "Ifailtounderstandthis,"boomedProut."Quelch,Iquitefailtounderstandthis.Irepeat,Ifailto understand." "Iamnotresponsible,sir,foryourlackofunderstanding,"retortedMr.Quelch,nowinagoaded state. "What?What?Uponmyword!"gaspedProut. "Arewetounderstand,Mr.Quelch,thattheseboysofyourformareinastateofrebellion,andthat theyhavelockedyouout?"askedMr.Hacker. "Youaretounderstandwhatyouplease,Mr.HackerbutIdesireyounottointerveneinmatters pertainingtomyform." Hacker,Prout,andCapperexchangedglances.Hackershruggedhisbonyshoulders,turned,and walkedbacktohisformroom.ProutandCapperlingeredamomentortwo,andthenfollowed him.Theirvoicesfloatedbackastheywent. "Extraordinary!" "Amazing,sir!Unprecedented!Unparalleled!" "Gosling,youarewastingtime.Proceed,Gosling!"saidMr.Quelch,inachokingvoice. Bang!bang!clang! TwoastonishedfacesappearedattheendofthepassageMr.Wiggins'sandMr.Twigg's.They alsohadtoinquire.ButafteraglanceatMr.Quelch'spalesetfaceandglintingeyes,themastersof theThirdandSecondretiredwithoutaskingquestions.Quelchwasbeginningtolookdangerous! Bang!bang!crack!creak!bang! "Isisanythingwrong,sir?"Trotter,thepage,arrived,fromtheregionsbelow.Hestaredat Goslingwitheyeslikesaucers."Ifyouplease,sir." "Goaway,Trotter!"snappedMr.Quelch. "Butcookaskedme,sir." "Goawayatonce!"thunderedMr.Quelch. "Oh!Yessir!"gaspedTrotter,andhevanished. Bang!bang!crack!Thelockwentatlast,andthedoormoved.

 "Pushthedooropen,Gosling,"exclaimedMr.Quelch,ingreatrelief.Goslingshoved,andthedoor openedafewinches,andthenjammedagainstthetacklewithin. "They'rea'oldingofit,sir,"gaspedGosling."Pushharder!"rappedMr.Quelch. "Oh,myeye!"gaspedGosling:andheputinallhisbeef.Thedooryieldedanotherinch. Quelchwatchedhimanxiously:thenhelenthisaid,pushinghardatthedoor.Hedreadedevery momenttoseehisChiefarriveonthescene.TheSixthFormroomwasatagooddistance,but therewasnodoubtthatthedinatthedooroftheRagcarriedthatdistance.Verymuchindeeddid Mr.Quelchdesiretohavehisformundercontrolagain,beforeDr.Lockewasapprisedofthis unheardofstateofaffairs.ProutandCapperandHackerwerebadenoughbuttheHeadwould bethelaststraw. Quelchwasbonyandangular,buthewasstrong.Heexertedallhisstrengthonthedoor,andagain ityieldedaninchorso.Gosling,pantingandperspiring,didhisbest.Therewasabuzzofvoices within. "Braceup,youmen." "Jamthetableonit." "Stickyourfeetagainstit." "Shove!Shove,youfatheads!" "Shoveterrifically,myesteemedchums." "Getitshut!Shoveaway." Theyieldingdoorceasedtoyield.Itmovedbackunderthepressurefromwithin.Goslingjammed hisfootintotheopening,tokeepitfromclosing. "Theycan'tshutit,sir,"gaspedGosling."Igotmyfootinit,sir." "Verygood,Gosling!Pushharder." "Takeyourhoofaway,Gosling,youolddonkey!"shoutedtheBounder."Here,giveafellowroom." "Keepyourfootthere,Gosling!"pantedMr,Quelch. "Yaroooh!"roaredGosling. Hejerkedhisfootback,asifdooranddoorposthadsuddenlybecomeredhot.ToMr.Quelch's astonishmentheprancedononeleg,claspingtheother,andentirelyceasingtopushatthedoor. "Gosling!"shriekedMr.Quelch. "Yooohooop!"roaredGosling,stillprancing. "Whoooop!Somebody'sstuckapininmyblinkinglegwoooohooohohh!" "Ha,ha,ha!" "Pushonthisdooratonce,Gosling,"shriekedMr.Quelch,unabletoresistthepressurefrom within. "Gosling!Thisinstant." "Yooohooohooh!WotIsaysisthis'ere,Igotapinstuckinmeleg!"bawledGosling."Igotapain! Ooooh!Igotanorfulpain!Ooooh!" Thedoorbangedshut.Quelch,panting,ceasedhisefforts.HegaveGoslingalookthatmighthave witheredtheancientporter.ButGoslingdidnotevenseeit.Hiswholeattentionwasconcentrated onthecalfintowhichtheBounderhadjabbedapin.HeedlessofwitheringlooksGoslingtottered away,apparentlywashinghishandsoffurtherproceedings. Mr.Quelchstoodforsomemoments,recoveringhisbreath.Thenherappedonthedoor." Wharton!" "Yes,sir!" "Unlessthisriotceasesatonce,theSixthFormprefectswillbecalledtodealwithyou.Forthelast time!" "Packitup,oldboy!"calledtheBounder. "Goodnessgracious!"gaspedMr.Quelch. Herustledaway.Therewasnohelpforit:thisunprecedentedoutbreakonthepartofhisForm hadtobereportedtotheheadmaster,andtheaidoftheprefectscalledintoquellit.Itwasa bitterpillforMr.Quelchtoswallow,buthehadtogetitdown,andhedepartedfortheSixthForm, leavingtherebelsoftheRemovewinnersofthefirstround.

 ATTACKINFORCE! "ISAY,youfellows!"squeakedBillyBunter. "Hallo,hallo,hallo!Enjoyinglife,oldfatbean?"roaredBobCherry.Bobseemedinverycheery spirits. HewasstillatGreyfriarsonasomewhatprecarioustenure,nodoubt,butthere,atallevents,he was:andarowintheRagwasinfinitelypreferabletothejourneyhomeinthemorningtrain. "Isay,we'rekeepingthemout,ain'twe?"saidBunter. "Weareweis!"agreedBob. "You'vedoneafatlottohelpsofar,youfatsnail!"saidVernonSmith. "Oh,really,Smithy." "Bunter'sdonehisbit,"saidBob,withachuckle."Wasn'titBunter'sidea?BlessedifIthoughtI shouldbestillherenow." "You'reheretostay,"saidHarryWharton. "Um!Yes!Let'shopeso,oldscout." "Thestayfulnesswillbeterrific,myesteemedBob. Weareallstickingtoyougluefully." "Shouldertoshoulder,anddownwiththebeaks,"saidtheBounder."It'snoendofarag,anyhow." "Notexactlyarag,Smithy,"saidthecaptainoftheRemove."We'regoingtokeepBobhere,that's fixed.Quelchhimselfwillbegladwedid,ifitcomesoutwhosootedhiminBob'sstudy.Hedoesn't wanttoturfoutthewrongman,ifheknew." "Hem!"theBoundergrinned. BobCherrygavehimagrimlook.Smithy,evidently,stillbelievedthatitwastherightmanwho hadbeen"turfed". "Ifyoucan'ttakemywordaboutthat,Smithy,whatthethumpareyoubackingmeupfor?" demandedBob,hotly."You'dbetterchuckit,andgetout!" "I'llwatchit,"saidVernonSmith."Mydearman,Iwouldn'tmissaraglikethisforworlds.Of courseitwasyousootedQuelch." "ItellyouIdidnot!"roaredBob. "O.K.Haveityourownway,"saidtheBounder,carelessly."Itdoesn'tmatterapin,solongaswe givethebeaksandpre'sagoodrunfortheirmoney." "Itmattersalot,Smithy,"saidTomRedwing,quietly."ThefellowwhosmotheredQuelchwithsoot oughttobesacked.Andhewillbesacked,iftheyfindhimonlyitisn'tBob." "Anditwillcomeout,"saidFrankNugent. "IIIsay,youfellows,IIdon'tthinkitwillcomeoutwhosootedQuelch,"gaspedBillyBunter. "You'reafatass,"saidJohnnyBull."Thingsalwayscomeoutinthelongrun.Thefellowwillbe nailedsoonerorlater.IfwecankeepBobheretillthathappens,it'sallright." "Isit?"gaspedBunter.Heseemedtodoubtit! "Ofcourseitis,youass!Oncetheygettherightman,they'llletuponBob.Thefellowmighthave thedecencytoownup,too." "Mmmmmighthe?"stutteredBunter. "Can'tbankonthat,"saidMarkLinley."Whoeverhewas,he'skeptitprettydarksofar.Butitmay comeout." "Anyhow,we'restickingtoBob,andkeepinghimhere,"saidPeterTodd.Hegavehisdeafchuma thumpontheback."Aren'tweDutton,oldchap?" "Whatrot!"saidDutton. "Eh!What?" "Rot!"saidDutton."WhatshouldIbedoingwithmuttoninmycap?Whatdoyoumean,Toddy?" "Ha,ha,ha!" "Isay,youfellows,myideawasthatifwekeptBobhere,itwouldgiveQuelchtimetogetoverhis temper.Whatdoyoufellowsthink?"

CHAPTERXVI

"Ha,ha,ha!"yelledtheRemovites.IfBillyBunterfanciedthatQuelch,inthepresent circumstances,waslikelyto"getoverhistemper",BillyBunterhadthatideaentirelytohimself. "Dddon'tyouthinkso,youchaps?"askedBunter,anxiously. "Notquite!"saidHarryWharton,laughing."Hedidn'tsoundlikeit,atanyrate." "Quelchwillbefeelinglikebitingsomebody,justnow,"grinnedtheBounder."Iratherthinkthat he'dliketosackalltheRemoveinabunch." "Oh,lor'!"saidBunter. "Jollygladnottobeinclasswithhimthismorning!"chuckledSquiff. "Thegladfulnessispreposterous." "Yes,there'sthat!"saidBillyBunter,brightening."Isay,youfellows,wegetoutofclass,youknow. Andthere'smathswithLascellesinthirdschool,too." ItwasquiteahappyreflectiontoBillyBunter.Bunterwasnotreallyofthestuffofwhichheroes aremade,anda"row"withthebeaksfilledhimwithdeeptrepidation.Hewasveryfarfrom sharingtheBounder'senjoymentofashindy.ButgettingoutoflessonswasathingthatBunter couldappreciateno"con"withQuelch,nomathswithLascellesthatreallymadelifeworth living!Therewasalottobesaidforabarringout,ifitenabledafatlazyOwltositinanarmchair intheRag,insteadofonaformintheRemoveroomunderagimleteye! "Quelchhasgoneforthepre'snow,"saidSquiff."Well,wecanbarthepre'soutallright.They won'tgetthatdooropeninahurry." "Nofear!"saidBob. Therewasaloudcrack,asBobdetachedalegfromachairitwasnotimetostandonceremony. Withhispocketknife,hewhittleditintoawedge,andjammeditunderthethickoakdoor.After which,itlookedasifnothingshortofabatteringramwouldpushthatdooropen.Certainlythe SixthFormprefectswerenotlikelytobeabletodoit. Therewasasoundoffootstepsandvoicesoutside.Theenemyhadarrived. "Hallo,hallo,hallo!Heretheycome!"calledoutBob. Mr.Quelch'svoicewasheard. "Pleaseforcethedooropen,Wingate!Thelocknolongerholds.Ithinkthereisfurniturepiled inside,but." "We'llsoondealwiththat,sir!"cameWingate'svoice."Lineuphere,youmenallofyouputyour shoulderstoit." Therewasatramplingoffeet,ashalfadozenstalwartSixthFormmenputtheirshoulderstothe doorandshoved.Thebarricadewithin,evenwithacrowdofjuniorsaddingtheirweight,might nothaveresistedthatmightyshove.Butthewedgejammedunderthedoordidit.Sixheftyseniors exertedalltheirstrength,butthedoordidnotbudgeafractionofaninch. "It'sjammedsomehow,"gaspedLoder. "Seemstobestuckfast,"saidWalker. "Pushharder!"rappedMr.Quelch. Therewasanothermightyheaveatthedoor.Butitremainedfast,andtheprefectswereheard gaspingandpanting. "It'snogood,sir,"saidGwynne."They'vegotitfixedsomehow." "Nonsense!" "Kindlygetthatdooropenatonce." "DoesQuelchsoundasifhe'sgettingoverhistemper,youmen?"askedtheBounder. "Ha,ha,ha!" ItwasonlytooclearthatQuelch'swrath,farfromfadingout,wasintensifying.Probablyhehad hadaveryunenjoyablefewminuteswiththeheadmaster.Thejuniorscouldimaginetherisingof Dr.Locke'seyebrows,atthenewsthatQuelch'sformwasoutofhand,andthatherequiredtheaid oftheprefectstoreestablishcontrol.Quelch'stemper,obviously,wasbadandlikelytoget worseandworsesolongastherebellionlasted. "It'snogood,sir."Wingate'svoicewasabreathlessgasp."Wecan'tshiftitaninch.IIfancyit's wedgedorsomething." "Whatabrain!"saidBobCherry."He'sguessedit." "Youcheekyyoungsweep!"roaredWingate.

"Youcheekyoldsweep!"retortedBob. "Bygum!III'll!" "Ifyoucannotgetthedooropen,youmustenterbythewindow,"snappedMr.Quelch."Proceedto dosoatoncewearewastingtime." TheSixthFormmenlookedatMr.Quelch,andlookedatoneanother.Thentheytrampedoutof theHouse,tocomeroundtothewindowoftheRag.Mr.Quelchfollowedthem,breathinghard throughhisnose. "Allhandsrepelboarders!"chuckledBobCherry.TherewasarushoftheRemovitestothebigbay windowoftheRag,whichlookedoutonthequadrangle.Thewindowwasagoodheightfromthe ground,buteasyenoughforaseniormantoclamberintoifhewasnotstopped.Therewasa broadstonesilloutsidetogivelodgment.Theglasswasnotlikelytostopanattack. Fromthewindow,therebelswatchedtheprefects,ratherbreathlessly.Theyintendedtokeep themoutthatwassettled.TheFamousFiveweregrimlydetermined,eveniftheyhadnobacking intheform.ButalltheRemoviteswerereadytofollowtheirleaders.Nevertheless,therewasa breathlessthrill,inthebareideaofatusslewiththemightymenoftheSixth. "DoesQuelchlookshirty?"askedtheBounder,astheRemovemastercameinsightwithWingate andCompany. "Sortof!"chuckledBob. "Thesortfulnessisterrific!"grinnedHurreeJamsetRamSingh."Ourvenerablebeakis preposterouslyinfuriated." Mr.Quelch,ifnotexactly"infuriated",certainlyhadanexpressionofconcentratedangeronhis expressiveface.Therewasthunderonhisbrow,asheglancedattheseaoffacespackingthebay window.WingateandCo.arrivedunderthebroadstonesill,andlookedup.HarryWharton openedthemiddlecasement,asWingateputhishandsonthesilltoswinghimselfthereon. "Keepback,Wingate,"hesaid."Ifyougetonthatsill,weshalltipyouoff." "Youyoungass!"answeredWingate. "Wemeanit,"saidNugent. "Themeanfulnessis!" "Terrific!"chuckledBob."Terrificandpreposterous!Takeatip,Wingate,andsteerclear!Wedon't wanttohurtyou,oldbeanwelikeyoutoomuch." "LetLodercomefirst!"saidtheBounder."We'dallliketohaveacutatLoder." TheGreyfriarscaptainpaidnoheedtothat.Withaswing,helandedonthewidesill,onhisknees. Amomentmore,andhewouldhaveleapedthroughtheopenwindowintotheRag.Butinthat moment,sixorsevenheftypuncheslandedonhimfromwithin,andherolledbackwardsoffthe sill. Bump! "Oh!" Therewasaloudbump,andalouderroar,astheGreyfriarscaptainlandedonthehard, unsympatheticearthunderthewindow.Hesprawledthere,spluttering. "Mandown!"shoutedBob. "Ha,ha,ha!" "Comeon!"yelledtheBounder.Hebrandishedachairleg."Likeyournutcracked,Loder?Putit thisway!" TheSixthFormmenstaredatthepackedwindow,andatWingatesprawlingandspluttering beneathit.Theyhadnot,perhaps,sofarconsidereditaverydifficulttasktodealwithamobof excitedjuniors.Butitdawnedonthemnowthatthetaskaheadofthemwasnoeasyone.The garrisonoftheRagcouldkeepthemout,iftheystooduptoit.Andtheylookedlikedoingso. GeorgeWingatepickedhimselfup,pantingforbreath,andrubbingplacesthathadsustained damage. "Followme,youfellows!"hebreathed.

 HOLDINGTHEFORT "BACKup!" "Lookout!" "Standuptothem!" TherewasaroarofexcitementintheRag.Wingatewashalfinthewindow.GwynneandSykes wereclamberingoneithersideofhimLoderandWalkerandCarnepushingonbehind.Mr. Quelch,fromthequad,lookedonlikeamanpetrified.Quelchcouldhardlybelievehisgimleteyes. Neverhadtheysurveyedsuchasceneasthis. "Uponmyword!"gaspedQuelch. ButnobodyheededQuelch.Theprefectshadtheirhandsfull:so,literally,hadthedefendersofthe Rag.SixorsevenpairsofhandsgraspedWingate,asheplungedforward,andshovedhimback. Gwynne,pushinginbesidehim,yelledfranticallyashereceivedtheendoftheBounder'scudgel, jamminginhiswaistcoat.Sykes,dodgingawildrecklessslash,rolledoffthesillanddisappeared. "Letgo,youyoungvillains!"pantedWingate,strugglingdesperately. "Getout,oldbean!" "You'renotwantedhere." "Shovehimout." Wingatewasbigandstrong,morethanamatchforanythreeoftheRemove.Butnumberstold.All theFamousFivehadagraspofhim,andPeterToddandSquiffandTomBrownlentvigorous hands.InspiteofallhiseffortsthecaptainofGreyfriarswentrolling,andjoinedSykesunderthe window. Thenextmoment,awhizzingcushionfromwithincaughtGwynneunderthechin,andhewent down,landingonWingateandSykesbelow.Therewereloudandfrantichowlsfromthosetwo unfortunateseniorsashelanded.PatrickGwynnewasnotalightweight,andhelandedhardand heavy. "Goit!"roaredtheBounder,hiseyesablaze.Smithywasenjoyinglife."Give'emjip!" Threeoftheassailantswere,forthemoment,horsdecombat.ButLoderandWalkerandCarne werecrowdingin,andhittingout.Mr.QuelchwouldhardlyhaveapprovedofbigSixthFormmen punchingjuniors:butreally,LoderandCo.hadlittlechoiceinthematter,iftheywerenottobe bundledoffthesillinaheap.Theyhitoutrecklessly,andtherewereloudyellsasheftypunches landed,andforamomenttheenemylookedlikegettingin.Lodersprawledhalfin,headand shouldersinsidetheRag,landingoutonallsideswithclenchedfists.ButPeterToddandSquiff capturedhisarms,andheldontothem,andHurreeJamsetRamSinghgraspedhiscollarwith duskyfingerslikeavice.Loderwasanunpopularprefect,muchtoomuchgiventoatooliberal useoftheashplant,andthejuniorswerenotdisposedtostandonceremonywithhim.Heldbythe enemy,Loderstruggledandpantedandwriggledandkicked.Buthecouldnotgetloosethe Removiteshadhim,andtheyheldontohim. Crack!Smithy'scudgelcaughtWalkeroftheSixthasheplungedafterLoder.Walker'sroarcould beheardineveryformroomatGreyfriars.Hebackedfromanothercrack,andslidoffthesill. "Lookout,Smithy,youass!"gaspedWharton. "Don'tbrainthem." "Rats!"retortedtheBounder.AndheaimedacutatCarne.CarneoftheSixthsawitcoming,and jumpedback,landinginthequadonhisfeet. OnlyLoderremainedandheremainedbecausehecouldnotgo.Loderwasinthehandsofthe Amalekites. Outsideinthequad,fiveprefectsweregaspingandpanting,inadamagedandbreathlessstate. Loder,sprawlinghalfthroughthewindow,kickedandstruggledandyelled. "Letgo!Letgo,youyoungdemons!I'llgo!"splutteredLoder. "Youwereinahurrytocomeinjustnow,"grinnedtheBounder."Holdontohim,youmen,whileI gettheinkpot." "Ha,ha,ha!"

CHAPTERXVII

"Boys!"shriekedMr.Quelch.Withutteramazement,theRemovemasterhadseenWingateand Co.,thechosenmenoftheSixth,hurledbackfromtheattackonthewindow."Boys!Howdareyou! Ceasethisatonce!Cease!" "Gohome,Henry!"shoutedtheBounder. "What?What?" "Ha,ha,ha!" "VernonSmith!Howdareyou?IIIIwill."WordsandbreathseemedtofailMr.Quelch. "Putasockinit,Henry." "Ha,ha,ha!" "Willyouleggo?"roaredLoder.Hestruggledfranticallyinthewindow.Buthestruggledinvain.A dozenfellowshadholdofhimnow.PeterandTomBrownhadhisarmsHurreeSinghhis collarNugentandJohnnyBullhadaneareach,Squiffhadhisnosebetweenfingerandthumb Bolsovermajor'shandwastwinedinhishair.Manyotherhandsgrasped,andtherewashardly enoughofGeraldLodertogoround.LoderwasunwillingtowaitwhileSmithygottheinkpotbut hehadtowait."Leggo!ItellyouI'llgoyooooooch!" AnupendedinkpotstreamedinkoverLoder'shead. Ashetwistedhisheadwildlytododgeit,ajetofinkwentintohisopenmouth.Therewasasound ofwildsplutteringandgurgling. "Urrrrggh!Ooooogh!Ooooch!Oooer!Oh!" "Ha,ha,ha!" "Chuckhimout!"exclaimedHarryWharton,laughingbreathlessly. "Outyougo,Loder!" Loder,streamingink,hiscollartornout,hishairawildinkymoppitchedheadlongfromthe window. "Comebackandhavesomemore,Loder!"roaredBobCherry. "Urrrrrrggh!" "Nobodyseemstowantanymore,"chuckledtheBounder."We'vebeatenthepre's,mybeloved 'earers!DoesQuelchlookpleased?" "Ha,ha,ha!" Mr.Quelchdidnotlookpleased.Theexpressiononhisspeakingcountenancewasveryexpressive: butitdidnotexpresspleasure.Theglarehegavethegrinningfacesatthewindowwaslikethatof agorgon.ThenhelookedattheSixthFormmenwhohadbeencalledintohisaid.Untidy, breathless,dishevelled,sadlydamagedanddilapidated,theystood,rubbingbumpsandbruises Loder,hisfacestreamingwithink,lookingagooddeallikeazebra.Quelch,ashesurveyedthem, didnotneedtellingthattheyweredisinclinedtotrytheirluckagainatthewindow.Theywere beaten,andtheywereawareofthefact. "Wingate!"gaspedMr.Quelch."Thisthiscannotcontinue!Theprefectshavebeencalledinto restoreorder!Kindlyproceedtodoso." Wingatebreathedhard.Helookedathiscomrades. Loder,withasavagesnort,walkedaway.Quelchstaredafterhim. "Loder!Whereareyougoing,Loder?" GeraldLoderdidnottakethetroubletoanswer.Hejustwent.Loderhadhadenoughperhapsa littletoomuch!WalkerandCameexchangedglances,andwalkedawayafterLoder.Theyseemed tohavehadenoughalso.GwynneandSykes,apparentlythinkingthistoogoodanexamplenotto befollowed,followedit.Mr.QuelchwasleftwithonlyWingatetokeephimcompany. "Wecan'tgetinatthatwindow,sir,"saidtheGreyfriarscaptain. "Butbut." "Itcan'tbedone,sir,unlessthoseyoungrascalschoose." "Nonsense!"snappedMr.Quelch. WingategavetheRemovemasteranexpressivelook,andwalkedawayaftertheotherprefects. Mr.Quelchwasleftstandingalone,witharatherblankexpressiononhisface.Hestaredafterthe departingprefects,andhestaredatthecrammedwindowoftheRag.Therewasashoutfrom within. "Gohome,Henry!"

Mr.Quelch,withburningears,walkedawayinhisturn.Smithychuckledandslammedthewindow shut. "Ourwin!"hesaid. "Hurray!" TherebelsofGreyfriarshadwonthesecondround. NOSURRENDER! "ISAY,youfellows." "Lendahand,Bunter!" "Oh,really,Cherry." "Allhandstothemill,youfatslacker!" Grunt,fromBunter. EveryfellowintheRagwasbusyexceptingBunter.Bunterwasseated,orrathersprawled,inan armchair,andseemeddisinclinedtostir.Hedidnotfeel,likeDiogenesofold,thathewasboundto rollhistubwheneveryoneelsewasbusy.Bunterpreferredtosititout. Buttherewasashadeofdeepthoughtfulnessonhisfatbrow.ThinkingwasnotBillyBunter'slong suit.Buthewasthinkingnow.Aconsiderationwhichseemedtohaveescapedthegeneral attentionhadoccurredtoBunter.Bunterwas,infact,themantothinkofit.Itwasfood! Nobodyelseseemedtobethinkingaboutit.Everybodywasbusyaboutotherthingsless importantthings,inBunter'sopinion.ThegarrisonoftheRagwerestrengtheningtheirdefences. Preciselywhatmovetoexpectnextfromthe"enemy"theydidnotknow.Butnofellowexpected thattheywouldbeleftinpeaceablepossessionoftheirstronghold.Therewasmoretroubleto come,andtheFamousFivesettheexampleofgettingreadyforit,andalltheotherfellows followedsuit. TheywerenotgoingtogiveupBobCherrytobe"sacked".Thatwassettled.Theyweregoingto baroutthebeakstillthatpointwasconceded.Thatwassettledtoo.Theywereonastrong position,intheRagandtheyweremakingitstronger.BobCherryhadsortedhistoolboxoutof alocker,andhadahammerinonehand,afistfulofnailsintheother. "Weshallhavetodoaspotofdamage,"heremarked. "Thatcan'tbehelped." "Themorethemerrier!"grinnedtheBounder. "Isay,youfellows!"squeakedBunteragain. "Shutup,Bunter!" "Isay,it'simportant,"urgedBunter."I'vebeenthinking,youchaps." "Greatpip!Whathaveyoubeendoingthatwith?"exclaimedPeterTodd,inastonishment. "Oh,really,Toddy." "We'llhavethedooroffthatcupboard,"saidBob. "Itwillmaketoppingbarstonailacrossthewindow." "Oh,myhat!" "Goodegg!"chortledSmithy. "Isay,youfellows!"yelledBunter. "Youstilltalking,Bunter?Tiphimoutofthatchair,somebody." "IsaystoppitIookhereoh,crikey!" Bump! "Yarooooh!" BillyBuntersatonthefloor,andsplutteredforbreathforaspaceforgetfulevenoftheurgent andimportantquestionoffood. "Nowwe'llhavethatdoordown,andhookouttheshelves,"saidBob."Goit!Can'tstandon ceremonywhenthere'sawaron!"
CHAPTERXVIII

Itwastheonlytimberavailable,andithadtogo.Itwentamidaterrificbangingandclanging, wrenchingandrending.Bobhadsaidthattheywouldhavetodoaspotofdamageanditlooked likebeingratheralargespot.Butintheexcitingcircumstancesthatcouldnotbehelped. IthadjusthappenedthattherebelsoftheRemovehadselectedthejuniordayroomtostagethe barringout.Butitwasasgoodaspotforthepurposeascouldhavebeenfoundwithinthewallsof Greyfriars. Attheendofthelongroom,oppositethebaywindowthatlookedonthequadrangle,wasthe washinglobby,wheretherewerewashbasins,andrunningwater.Ithadawindowoverlookinga brickedpassagebetweenthetwobuildings,andadoorontheRag.Thatdoorwashookedoffits hinges,carriedtothewindow,andnailedoveritBobCherrydrivinginhislongestnailswith mightyswipesofthehammer.Therewereseveralothersmallerwindows,eachofwhichwas nailedsecurelytoitsframe.Thatmadethelobbysafefromattack. Thensplitshelvesandsectionsofthecupboarddoorwerenailedandscrewedacrossthebig windowlookingonthequad.BobCherry'shammerbeatanunceasingtattoo,whileJohnnyBull labouredwithascrewdriver. Otherfellowswhittledmorewedges,tojamunderthedooroftheRag,bangingthemintoplace. IneveryformroomatGreyfriars,everyfellowheardthedin,andknewthatsomethingextremely unusualwasgoingon.ProutandHacker,CapperandWigginsandTwigg,foundithardtokeepthe excitementincheck,whileMonsieurCharpentier,whohadaFrenchsetinhand,gaveitupin despair,andmerelywrunghishands.Goslingstaredacrossthequad,rubbedathumbinwhich therewasalingeringtwinge,shookhisancienthead,andaskedMr.Mimble,thegardener,whathe thoughtGreyfriarswasacomingto,withthese'eregoingson.Mr.Mimblecouldonlyshakehis headinturn. Heedlessoftheoutsideworld,therebelsoftheRemovecarriedon,tillsuddenlyPenfold,looking fromthewindow,calledout: "TheHead!" TheuproarintheRagceasedallatonce."TheHead'scoming!"breathedSkinner. "Hisjollyoldnibshimself!"exclaimedtheBounder."TheesteemedandridiculousHead!" murmuredHurreeJamsetRamSingh. Thejuniorscrowdedtothewindow.Betweenthewoodenslatsnailedacross,therewasplentyof spacetolookout.ThemajesticfigureofDr.LockehadissuedfromtheHouse,andwas approachingslowandstatelyanddignified.Mr.Quelch,apparentlyatalosshowtodealwithhis rebelliousform,hadcalledinthatmajesticaid.Itwaswhattherebelsmighthaveexpectedbutit gavemanyofthemanuneasythrill,astheywatchedtheheadmasterapproach.Facesweregrave now.InallthecrowdintheRag,onlytheBounderlookedunconcerned. Theoutbreakhadhappenedsuddenly,withoutmuchthought,ifany.Therebelshadcarriedonina whirlofexcitement.Butthesightoftheheadmasterhadasoberingeffect,especiallyonBunter andSkinnerandSnoop. "Oh,crikey!"gaspedBillyBunter."IIIsay,youfellows,theHeadwillbewaxy!" "Gohon!"saidSmithy,sarcastically. "Thewaxfulnesswillprobablybeterrific,"remarkedHurreeJamsetSingh."Butthecarryon fulnessisthesinequanon." "We'restickingit,"saidSquiff. "Leavehimtome,"saidVernonSmith."Idon'tmindtellingtheOldManwherehegetsoff." "Chuckit,Smithy,"exclaimedHarryWharton."NobodyhereisgoingtocheektheHead." "Whynot?"yawnedtheBounder. "Shutup,Smithy!" "Yaas,packitup,oldbean,"saidLordMauleverer."RottenbadformtocheektheHead!We'renot givin'in,butthere'ssuchathingasgoodform." "We'renotgivingin,that'sacert,"saidthecaptainoftheRemove."Butlet'shearwhattheOldMan hastosay,andmindnocheek!" Tap! Dr.Lockehadarrived.Hestoodatthewindowsilloffwhichtheprefectshadrolledanhourago, headandshouldersvisibletothecrowdintheRag.Hisusuallykindandbenigncountenancewas

setandsternsternerthanthejuniorshadeverseenitbefore,ashisslimforefingertappedon theglass.HarryWhartonquietlyopenedacasement,andfacedhisheadmaster. Dr.Lockelookedathim,athiscomradesgroupedroundhimandthecrowdofjuniorsbehind.For amomentortwotherewasdeepsilence.ThentheHeadspoke,inacold,cuttingvoicequiteunlike hisaccustomedkindlytones. "Whatdoesthisriotmean?" "Hem!It'snotexactlyariot,sir,"saidthecaptainoftheRemove,veryrespectfully."It'sabarring out!" "What?What?" "Yousee,sir." "IunderstandfromMr.Quelch,"saidDr.Locke,"thatthisformisinastateofinsubordination.It appearsthatyouhavedisregardedanddefiedtheauthorityofyourformmaster,andretained hereaboywhohasbeenexpelledfromGreyfriars.Thatboywillleavetheschoolimmediately,in chargeofaprefect,andtherestoftheformwillreturnatoncetotheirduty.Everyboywhohas takenpartinthisoutbreakwillbeseverelycanedbyhisformmaster.Arealltheformhere, Wharton?" "Yes,sir,everymanintheRemove." "Verygood!Leavethedayroomatonce,andproceedtoyourformroom.Cherry!" "Here,sir!"saidBob. "Youwillgotomystudy,andwaittheretillyouaresenttothestation." Bobmadenoanswer. "Thatisall!"saidtheHead. "Isit?"murmuredtheBounder."Notquite,Ithink." Dr.Lockebestowedasternstareonthecrowdatthewindow,andmadeamoveasiftodepart. Evidentlyhehadnodoubtthathiscommandswouldbeobeyed.TheBounderglancedroundwith agrin. "AnybodyherekeentoletQuelchbeginwiththecane?"heasked."Lookhere,Wharton,areyou goingtotelltheoldscouttoguessagain,orshallIdothetalking?" "Shutup,Smithy." "Goit,Wharton!" "Willyoulistentome,sir?"askedthecaptainoftheRemove,withhismostrespectfulmanner. "Iwilllistenifyouhaveanythingtosay,"answeredtheHead,icily."Butbebrief." "We'restandingbyBobCherry,sir." "Thatwilldo,Wharton,"interruptedtheHead,frowning. "WealltakehiswordthathehadnothingtodowithwhathappenedtoMr.Quelchyesterday,sir," saidFrankNugent. "We'renotlettinghimbesacked,"saidJohnnyBull."Nodisrespecttoyou,sir,"saidPeterTodd. "Butwe'renotlettinghimgo." "Therespectfulnesstoyourvenerableandridiculousselfisterrific,esteemedheadmaster,"said HurreeJamsetRamSingh,earnestly."Butthesackfulnessofourabsurdchumisnottheproper caper." "We'regoingtokeephimhere,sir,andholdon,tillit'ssettledthathe'sallowedtostay!"saidthe captainoftheRemove. "Blessmysoul!"saidtheHead,blankly. "Iassureyou,sir,onmyword,IhadnothingtodowithsootingMr.Quelch,"saidBob."Itoldyouin yourstudyyesterday,sir,andItellyouagainnow." "Youneednotspeak,Cherry." "But,sir." "YouarenolongeraGreyfriarsboy,Cherry!Besilent." Bob'sblueeyesglinted. "Verywell,sir,"heanswered."ButI'mnotgoing.I'mstickinghere,andmyfriendsarestickingto me." "Wejollywellwon'tlethimgo,"growledJohnnyBull,"andwe'rejollywellstickingtohimlike glue."

Dr.LockegazedintothecrowdedRag,hisfacehardening.Itwasdawninguponhismindthathis commandswerenotgoingtobeobeyedsopromptlyashehadsupposed. "Listentome,allofyou,"hesaid,verydistinctly."Thisriotmustceaseatonce.Everyparticipant willbecanedseverely.Ifitcontinues,theringleaderswillbeexpelledfromtheschool,andwill leavewithCherry." "Oh,crikey!"cameagaspfrombehindthecrowdofRemovites. "We'renotgivingin,sir!"saidHarryquietly."We'restickingtoourpal,sir!"saidNugent. "Thestickfulnesswillbepreposterous." "Andthat'sthat!"saidtheBounder. Dr.Lockecompressedhislipshard.Heturnedawaywithoutanotherword.TheGreyfriarsrebels watchedthestatelyfiguredepart. "That'sthat!"repeatedHerbertVernonSmith.Heputhishandtothewindow."Anymanhere wanttohopout,andsampleQuelch'scane?" Nobody,evidently,wantedtohopoutandsampleQuelch'scane.TheBounderlaughed,andshut thewindow.BobCherrylookedroundoverthecrowdoffaces."Lookhere,youmen,"hesaid. "We'reupagainsttheHeadnow,andgoodnessknowshowitmayend.Ifyou'dratherIwent." "Shutup,youass!" "Forgetit!" "Putasockinit!" "Fathead!" Boblaughed. "O.K."hesaid."We'restickingitout.ShovethoseboardsthiswayI'vestillgotsomenailsleft." ThedinofpreparationwasresumedintheRag.Mr.Quelch,listeningfromafar,frownedhis grimmestfrown. Thosesoundstoldhimthattheheadmaster'sinterventionhadfailed.TherebellionintheRemove wasgoingon.Theexpelledjuniorwasstillattheschoolhiscomradesstilldeterminedtokeep himthere.ItcouldnotlastlongQuelchwassurethatitcouldnotlastlong.Butexactlyhowhe wasgoingtodealwithit,theRemovemasterdidnotatthemomentknow.
CHAPTERXIX

INEDIBLEDATES! "WHATaboutelevenses?" BillyBunterpropoundedthatquerywithathoughtfulandworriedfatbrow.Bunter'spowerful brainhadbeenconcentratedonthatimportantsubjectforquitealongtime,whiletheother fellowshammered,andbanged,andclattered,attheworkoffortification.Butthehammering,and banging,andclattering,wereovernow.BobCherry,withafinalbang,haddriveninhislastnail. TheOwloftheRemovewasabletogetahearing,atlast. "Elevenses?"repeatedHarryWharton. "It'sjustonbreak,"saidBunter."Thefellowswillbecomingoutsoon.They'llclearoutthetuck shopasusual.Wecan'tcutacrosstothetuckshop,canwe?" "Hardly,"saidHarry,laughing, "Well,then,whataboutelevenses?"askedBunter,anxiously. "Nothingaboutelevensesortwelveses,oreventhirteenses,"chuckledBobCherry."Tightenyour belt,oldfatman." "Afellowhastohaveasnackinbreak,"saidBunter. "Thesnackfulnesswillnotbeterrificonthisridiculousoccasion,myesteemedfatBunter." "Wecan'tstickherewithoutgrub!"exclaimedBunter,inalarm."I'mhungrynow." "Notreally?"askedBob. "Yes,really,"assertedBunter. "Oyez!oyez!oyez!"roaredBob."Takenotice,allcitizensandloyalsubjectsBunterishungry!" "Ha,ha,ha!"

"BlessedifIseeanythingtocackleat,"howledBunter.Lookhere,Imightbeabletostickitouttill dinner.Whataboutdinner,though?" "Nodinnerses,andteases,"saidBob,shakinghishead.Notevensupperses." "Ha,ha,ha!" "Talksense!yappedBunter."We'vegottoeathaven'twe?I'mbackingyouup,oldchapitwas myIdeainthefirstplacetokeepyouhere,wasn'tit,whetherthebeakslikeditornot!Didn'tIsay thefirstword?" "Youdid!"agreedBob."Muchobliged,oldfatporpoise.BlessedifIshouldhaveexpectedyouto careaboiledbeanonewayortheother,butyoudid!BrightestIdeayoueverhad,Bunty." "Butwe'vegottoeat,"arguedBunter."Wecan'texpectthemtosendourdinnerinheretous,can we?" "Oh,myhat!Notquite." "Well,whatarewegoingtodo?" "Without!"saidFrankNugent. "Withoutdinner?"saidBunter,blankly."Mad?" "Ha,ha,ha!" "Isay,youfellows,dobeserious,"urgedBunter."Isay,gotaspotoftoffeeaboutyouBob?" "Sorryno!"chuckledBob. "Youhadaboxofchocsyesterday,Smithy.Stillgotsome?" "Lots!"answeredtheBounder."Oh,good!"gaspedBunter. "They'reinmystudy,"addedSmithy. "Yousillyass!"howledBunter.ChocolatesinaRemovestudywerenotofmuchusetoafellow lockedandbarredintheRag. "PooroldBunter!"saidPeterTodd."Likesomebutterscotch,fatty?" "Oh!Yes!Rather." "ThenI'mawfullysorrythatIhaven'tgotany." "Beast!"roaredBunter."Isay,youfellows,Isupposeyouneverthoughtaboutgrubwhenyou startedthis?" "Notaword,"confessed.HarryWharton."Wehadn'tmuchtimeforthinkingaboutanything,old fatman.Why,evenyoudidn'tthinkaboutgrub." "Firsttimeinyourlifethatyoudidn't,fatty,butyoudidn't!"chuckledBob."Nowit'stoojollylate." BillyBunterblinkeddolorouslyatgrinningfacesthroughhisbigspectacles.Itwastruethat BunterevenBunter!hadn'tbeenthinkingabout"grub"inthoseexcitingmomentswhenthe troublebegan.EvenBunter'sthoughtswerenotreallyconcentratedonfoodjustafterbreakfast! Buthewasthinkingaboutitnow.Theapproachof"break",whenBunterwasaccustomedtopack intohiscapaciousinsidealltheediblethingsonwhichhecouldlayhisfathands,remindedhim painfullyoftheinnerBunter.Andnotonlyweretherenotgoingtobeany"elevenses",but apparentlynodinnerandnotea!Itwasanawfulprospect! "Oh,lor'!"moanedBunter."Isay,youfellows,thisisjustrot!Wecan'tkeepthisgameupwithout grub." "We'vegottostickit,oldbarrel." "Wecan't!"howledBunter."Ican't,anyhow.IIsay,youfellows,nnnowIcometothinkofit,it's prettyrottentobackupagainsttheHead!Afellow'sboundtorespecthisheadmaster.Suppose wechuckit?" "Youcanchuckit,ifyoulike,"saidHarryWharton,laughing."We'llopenthewindowandrollyou out,ifyouwanttoquit.Quelchwillbegladtogetholdofoneofus,tomakeanexampleof." "Oh,crikey!" "Quelchisinthequadnow,"saidVernonSmith."Helooksasifhewouldliketobitesomebody. Let'smakehimapresentofBunter." "Beast!"moanedBunter. "It'sthesackforBunter,iftheygethim!"chuckledtheBounder."TheOldMansaidhewouldsack theringleaders.ItwasBunterstartedthisgoing.Bunter'sthemantheywant." "Oh,crumbs!"

"Betterstickitout,oldfatbean,"saidPeterTodd."Ifyouquit,Quelchwillwearouthisthickest caneonyou,andtheHeadwillsackwhat'sleft." "Ha,ha,ha!" "IIwouldn'tletyoufellowsdown,ofcourse,"gaspedBunter."III'mstickingtoyou!II'm notaquitter,youknow.III'mjollywellgoingtoseethisthrough." "You'dbetter,"grinnedSmithy. "Butwhataboutgrub?"moanedBunter."Wecan'tstickherewithoutgrub.Yousee,itain't possible." "True,OKing!"agreedBobCherry."Weshallhavetoscoutforgrub,whenwegetachance.Nottill dark,though." "Nofear,"saidVernonSmith."Theycan'tgetatushere,butthey'dcollaranyfellowgettingout, fastenough.Afterdarkafellowmighthaveachance." BillyBuntergroaned. "Cheerup,oldfatman,"saidBob."We'llscroungesomething,somehow,lateron." Groan! "Untilthen,youcanliveonyourfat,likeapolarbear,"suggestedPeterTodd."You'vegotlots." Groan! TheprospectofscroungingsomethingsomehowlaterondidnotseemtocomfortBillyBunter verymuch.Neitherdidheseemtothinkitfeasibletosubsistonhisownfatlikeapolarbear.He justgroaned. "PooroldBunter,"saidBob."Ifhefeelslikethatnow,whatwillhefeellikebyteatime?" Groan! "Ifanybody'sgotastickoftoffee,orachunkofchocolate,oragiddybullseye,coughitup,"said Bob."Wedon'twantBuntertoperishonourhands." "Ha,ha,ha!" "Whataboutsomedates?"askedtheBounder."Icangethimsomedatesifhe'dlikethem." BillyBuntersatupandtooknotice.Hisfatfacebrightenedlikethesuncomingthroughagloomy cloud."Fine!"hegasped."You'reagoodchap,Smithy." "Nonebetter,"agreedSmithy. "Handthemover,oldchap!IIsay,youdon'tmeanthatthey'reupinyourstudy?"addedBunter, withadismayedmisgiving. "NotatallhereintheRag,"answeredtheBounder."Ifyouthinkyou'dlikethem,Bunter." "Yes,rather!Isay,I'mjollyfondofdates.They'regoodprog.Why,Arabsliveondates.Ofcourse, theyain'treallyfood,butthey'resomethingtogoonwith.Wherearethey,Smithy?" "I'llgetthem,ifyoureallythinkyou'dlikethem." "Yes,yes,yes!"gaspedBunter. "O.K.,"saidSmithy,andhewentacrosstheRag,andgropedinthecupboardfromwhichthedoor andshelveshadbeenremoved. Bunterwatchedhimwithbreathlesseagerness.Someoftheotherfellowswatchedhim,too, curiously.DatesseemedtothemaveryunlikelyformofprovendertobefoundintheRag.Afellow mighthavehadachunkoftoffeeoraslabofchocolate,butdatesseemedimprobable.The Bounderappearedtobeinearnest,however.Hegropedinthecupboard,andcamebackwitha crumplednewspaperinhishand.ItwasanoldcopyoftheFriardaleGazette,whichhadbeenused tolayoutoveroneofthedislodgedshelves. Bunterblinkedatit. "Hereyouare,oldfatman,"saidVernonSmith,cheerily."They'reinthispaper.Havethelotifyou wantthem." "Good,"gaspedBunter. Hetookthecrumplednewspaperineagerfathands,anduncrumpledit,inthehappyexpectation ofbeholdingsticky,succulentdateswithin.Nothing,however,methiseyes,orhisspectacles,but thelocalnewsofhappeningsinFriardaleandWoodend.Heblinkedatthepaper.Thenheglaredat VernonSmith. "Where'sthedates?"hebawled. "Can'tyouseethem?"askedSmithy.

 "Eh!Thereain'tanyhere!"howledBunter. "Wharreryoumean?" "Well,myhat!Youwantsomenewspecs,"saidtheBounder."Meantosaythatyoucan'tseethe dates?" "OfcourseIcan't,whenthereain'tany!"shriekedBunter. "Well,that'sthelimit,evenforthatowl!"saidtheBounder."Hecan'tseethosedates,youfellows, whenthey'refairlystaringhiminthefaceoneinthetopcornerofeverypage." "Ha,ha,ha!"yelledthejuniors. "Inthetuttuttopkikkikcornerofeverypippippage!"stutteredBunter."Whyyou beastwhat'sthegoodofthosedates?Ithoughtyoumeantdates,youbeast,notdates!" "Ha,ha,ha!" BillyBunterglaredattheplayfulBounder,withaglarethatmighthavecrackedhisspectacles.It wastruethattherewasadateatthetopcornerofeverypageoftheFriardaleGazette,butitwas notthesortofdatethatBillyBunterwanted.Buntercouldeatalmostanything,butevenBunter couldnoteatthosedates! "Beast!"roaredBunter. "Ha,ha,ha!" TheexasperatedOwlcrumpledthenewspaperinafathand,andhurleditatSmithy'sgrinning face.ItmissedtheBounderbyaboutafoot,andcaughtLordMaulevererunderanobleear. "Oh,gad!"ejaculatedhislordship."Whatthedooce!" "Haha,ha!" "Wellsomefellowsareneversatisfied,"saidSmithy."Buntersayshe'shungry,andIgivehima wholelotofdates,andthat'showhethanksachap." "Ha,ha,ha!" "Beast!"hissedBunter. Therewasaclangofabell,atramplingoffeet,andashoutinthequad.TheGreyfriarsfellows werecomingoutinmorningbreak.Thetuckshopacrossthequadwouldbeopennowcrowded withfellowsofallformsexceptingtheRemove.BillyBunter,innormalcircumstanceswould havebeentheforemost.Andnow!Bunter'couldonlygroan.Ofallutterlyrottenideas,a barringoutseemedtoBunter,justthen,theveryrottenest!
CHAPTERXX

TOUGH!

COKERoftheFifthstared. "BobCherry!"heejaculated. HoraceCokerseemedastonished.Hestoodinthequad,staringatthewindowoftheRag,from whichagoodmanyoftheRemoviteswerelooking.Otherfellows,aswellasCoker,weregathered round,staring.EverymanatGreyfriarsknewthatsomethingextraordinaryhadbeengoingonin theschoolduringmorningclass,butuntiltheycameoutinbreaktheydidnotknowwhatitwas. ButthenewsspreadlikewildfirethattheLowerFourthwereintheRag,andhadbarredoutthe beaks.AndGreyfriarsfellowsswarmedroundthebigbaywindow,latticednowwithnailed woodenslats.ThesightofBobCherry'sruddyface,grinningcheerfullyfromthewindow,wasa surprise.MostofthefellowshadsupposedthathewasfarfromGreyfriarsbythattime. "Youstillhere!"exclaimedCoker."Sortof!"assentedBob. "Butyou'resacked!"Cokerwaspuzzled."Didn'tIhearthatyouweresackedforsootingyourbeak, andWingatewastakingyoutothestation?IunderstoodthattheHeadhadsackedyou." "Youdid!"ejaculatedBob."That'sjollyqueer." "Isn'titso?"demandedCoker. "Oh,yes!It'sso,"admittedBob."Butit'squeeryourunderstandingit.Iwouldn'texpectyouto understandanything." "Ha,ha,ha!"

"Idon'twantanycheek!"roaredCoker."Lookhere,whatareyoudoingherewhenyou'resacked?" "Talkingtoaprizeass!" "Why,youcheekylittletick!"gaspedCoker."I'djollywellsmackyourheadifIcouldgetatyou. Whatareyougrinningat,Greene?Whatareyousniggeringat,Potter?Isthereanythingtosnigger atinafagcheekingaseniorman?" "Butweren'tyougoingthismorning,Cherry?"askedHobsonoftheShell. "Iwas,"agreedBob. "HastheHeadchangedhismind,then?" "No:I'vechangedmine." "Oh,gum!"saidHobson,blankly. "You'rereallystickingonatGreyfriarsafteryou'rebunked?"exclaimedTempleoftheFourth. "Stickinglikejollyoldglue." "Well,you'vegotanerve!"saidCecilReginaldTemple,withawhistle. "Oh,rather,"saidDabney. "Andyou'rebarringoutyourbeak?"askedFry."Isay,you'llhavetheHeaddownonyou." "Ancienthistory,oldbean!We'vehadhim." "Cheekyyoungsweeps!"saidCoker."Lookhere,Wharton!Areyouallinthisbackingupa cheekyyoungtickwhosootedhisbeak?" "Bobdidn'tsootourbeak,"explainedthecaptainoftheRemove."We'rebackinghimupbecause hedidn't." "Rot!"saidCoker."Why,theHeadsackedhimforit!Andajollygoodthingtoo.Afagwhosootshis beakoughttobeturfedout.Quelchmustbeasillyasstoletyoucarryonlikethis." "Shutup,oldman,"whisperedPotteroftheFifth,hurriedly.Atallandangularformwascoming towardsthespotwithlongstrides.Mr.QuelchhadsightedthecrowdunderthewindowoftheRag fromadistance,andwashasteningtothescene.ButHoraceCokerhadhisbacktotheapproaching Removemaster,anddidnotseehim.Neitherwashethefellowtoshutup. "Rot!"saidCoker."Fagsbarringouttheirbeak,bygum!ItellyouQuelchmustbeasillyasstolet themcarryonablitheringassanabsolutefathead!" "COKER!" "Oh!"gaspedCoker.Hespunround,atavoicethatsoundedlikethefilingofasaw,andstaredat HenrySamuelQuelch."Oh!" "Coker!Iheardwhatyousaid!"thunderedMr.Quelch. "Oh!"stutteredCoker."II." "Ishallreportyourwordstoyourformmaster,Coker!IfyouwereinmyformIshouldcaneyou!I shallreportyoutoMr.Prout!Go!Leavethisspotatonce."Thegimleteyesglintedroundatthe crowdofGreyfriarsfellows."Go,allofyou!Youarenotallowedtoholdanycommunicationwith theserebelliousboys.Disperseimmediately!" "Keepyourwoolon,Henry!"cameavoicefromtheRag. "Ha,ha,ha!" Thecrowddispersed,mostofthemlaughing.Mr.Quelchturnedanembitteredeyeonthegrinning facesatthewindow. "Wharton!"herappedout. "Yes,sir,"saidHarry. "Ifthisrebellioncontinues,"saidMr.Quelch,withaquiverofangerinhisvoice,"measureswillbe takentoputanendtoit,youcanhavenodoubtofthat.Inthemeantime,ithasperhapsoccurred toyouthatnofoodwillreachyousolongasyouremainlockedinthedayroom." "Wedidn'tthinkaboutthatatfirst,sir.Butwe'vethoughtofitsince,"answeredthecaptainofthe Remove."Itmakesnodifference!We'vegottostandbyamaninourformwho'sbeensackedfor nothing." "Fornothing?"repeatedMr.Quelch."Foranactofthemostoutrageousdisrespectandreckless ruffianism!Thatiswhatyoucallnothing,Wharton?" "Oh,no,sir!Butitwasn'tBob." "Nonsense!"

"Wewouldn'tstandbythefellowwhodidit,sir!Everymanherewouldbedownonhim,"said Harry,earnestly."Itwasarottenthingtodo,andBobCherrywouldbeasmuchdownonitas anybodyelse" "That'strue,sir,"saidBob. "Idesiretohearnothingfromyou,Cherry!YouarenolongeraGreyfriarsboy,andshouldnotnow beintheschoolatall.Iamspeakingtoyou,Wharton,andtotheothers.Ifyourrebelliousconduct isduetoamistakensenseofloyalty,Iwouldgladlydealwithyouaslenientlyaspossible.Letthis rebellionendatonce,andIwilldoallinmypowertomitigateyourpunishment." "Thanksfornothing!"murmuredtheBounder."Shutup,Smithy." "Wecan'tletBobgo,sir,"saidHarry. "Areyousofoolish,Wharton,astosupposethatyoucankeepanexpelledboyhere,againstthe authorityofyourformmasterandheadmaster?"exclaimedMr.Quelch. "Wehopeso,sir,untilitcomesoutwhodidwhatBobwassackedfor.Thenitwillbewashedout, ofcourse.Nobodywillstandbythefellowwhodidit,andthat'sthemantheHeadreallywantsto turfoutIImean,expel.Wedon'tcarehowsoonhe'ssacked." "IIsay,youfellows!" "Shutup,Bunter." "Andwethink,sir,"wentonHarry,"thatyou'llbegladyourself,sir,thatBobneverwent,whenthe rightmanisfound." "It'sboundtocomeout,"saidJohnnyBull."Thingsalwayscomeoutinthelongrun.It'suptoyou tofindhimout,sir." "Whaaat?" "Theupfulnesstoyouresteemedselfisterrific,honouredsahib,"saidHurreeJamsetRamSingh, withanodofhisduskyhead."Youhavethewrongfulpigbyhisridiculousear,sir." "Idon'tthinkitwasaRemovemanatall,"saidFrankNugent."Ican'tthinkofasinglefellowinthe formthatcouldhavedoneit.Anyway,itwasn'tBob." Mr.Quelch'slipssethard. "Ihavetriedtoreasonwithyoutoendthisfolly,"hesaid."Mattersmustnowtaketheircourse. Everyboyherewillbeseverelypunished,andtheringleaderswillbeexpelled.Thatisall." AndMr.Quelch,withagrimbrow,stalkedaway. "Henry'sfeelingthis,"remarkedtheBounder,withagrin."Allthebeakswillbecacklingitoverin theCommonRoom.Andtheoldbeancan'tdoathing.We'reallright." "Rightasrain!"saidSquiff. Therightfulnessisterrific." "Isay,youfellows,that'sallverywell,butwhataboutgrub?"squeakedBillyBunter."ItellyouI'm hungry." "Likesomemoredates?"askedVernonSmith. "Beast!" BillyBunterwasdeeplyconcernedabout"grub".Butasthemorningworeon,otherfellowsaswell asBuntergrewmorethanalittleconcernedaboutit.Schoolboyshavehealthyappetites,and beyondafewoddspotsoftoffeeorchocolate,therewasnothingtoeatintheRag. Breakover,otherformswentbacktotheformroom.Thirdschoolended,andtheycameout again.Thedinnerbellrang,andGreyfriarsgatheredforprovenderwiththeexceptionofthe Remove.FortherebelsintheRagtherewasnoprovender.Afterdinner,fellowswereseenata distance,ingroups,staringtowardsthewindowoftheRag,butnonecameneartwoorthree prefectswerekeepingawatchfuleyeopen,topreventcommunicationwiththerebels.Therewas nochanceoffriendsinotherformssmugglingsustenancetotheRemove.Thentheschoolbell rangagain,andoncemorethequadwasdeserted. FacesintheRaggrewserious.Someofthemgrewlong.Butnobodysuggestedsurrender. TheFamousFiveweredeterminedtoholdoutatallcosts.SquiffandTomBrown,Smithyand Redwing,OgilvyandMarkLinley,PeterToddandLordMauleverer,wereequallydetermined.If someoftheotherswerefeelingdubious,theresolutespiritoftheleaderskeptupthegeneral morale.Andnobody,certainly,wantedtobethefirsttosampleQuelch'scane! "It'sgoingtobetough!"TomBrownremarked.

"Youdon'twanttogivein,Browney?"askedBob. TheNewZealandjuniorshookhishead. "Nofear!Iftheythinktheycanstarveusout,they'vegottothinkagain.Butit'sgoingtobetough, allthesame." "I'masemptyasadrum!"sighedPeterTodd."Thedrumfulnessofmyridiculousinsideisalso terrific,"murmuredHurreeJamsetRamSingh. "ThefellowwhosootedQuelchoughttoownup!"growledJohnnyBull."Thatwouldclearupthe wholething.Icouldeatahorse." "Isay,youfellows."BillyBunterhalfrosefromanarmchair,andblinkeddolorouslyattheFamous Five."IIsay,whatdoyouthinkthey'ddotothechapififheownedup?" "Sackhimlikeashot,ofcourse,"answeredHarry. "Oh!" "Andservehimjollywellright!"saidBob. "Oh!" BillyBuntercollapsedintothearmchairagain. "Whataboutragfootball,youmen?"askedBobCherry."Betterthanstandingroundthinkinghow jollyhungryweare,what?" AndBobsortedanoldsoccerballoutofalocker. Itwassomething,atleast,totakethethoughtsofthebeleagueredRemoveoffthedinnertheyhad missed,andtheteatheyweregoingtomiss.Theyplayed"rag"football,withplentyofenergyand plentyofnoise,andmoreorlessforgotthedrumlikestateoftheinnerman. ButBillyBunterdidnotjoinup.ThefatOwlsatinthearmchair,blinkingdismallyatthegame throughhisbigspectacles,andwonderingwhethereventhe"sack"wasworsethanthedolorous pangsoftheinnerBunter. INTHENIGHT! "QUELCHisstillup!" "Blesshim!" "Botherhim!" Thehourwaslate! FiveorsixfellowspeeredfromthewindowoftheRag,wherethestarsglimmereddownonthe quadfromfleecyclouds. Thelastdoorhadclosed,thelastlightbutoneextinguished.ThegreatpileofGreyfriarsSchool wasburiedinsilenceandslumber.ItwasmidnightandallbuttheRemovehadlongbeen asleepallmasters,exceptingtheRemovemaster.Butlookingoutintothedimquad,therebels couldseeoneglimmeringwindow,atadistanceandtheyknewthatitwasthewindowof Quelch'sstudy.ItwaslongpasttheRemovemaster'susualbedtimebutevidently,hehadnot gonetobed. ThelighthadbeenturnedoffintheRag.Itwasjudicioustogivethe"enemy"theimpression,if possible,thattherebelshadgonetosleepliketherestoftheschool.Someofthemhadsittingin thechairs,orlyingwithheadspillowedonarms.Fromthegloomcametheintermittentsnoreof BillyBunter,tellingthatthefatOwlhadforgottenhiswoesinslumber.ButtheFamousFive,and halfadozenotherfellows,werestillwideawakewaitingandwatchingforachancetocarryout theirplanofforagingforprovender. Thatwasnowthemosturgentitemontheprogramme. Moreandmore,ashourfollowedhour,therebelsrealisedthetruthoftheoldmaxim,that"an armymarchesonitsstomach".EventheFamousFive,resoluteastheywere,hadtoadmitthatthe barringoutcouldhardlycarryonwithoutprovender.Theonlychancewasaforayundercoverof nightwhenQuelch,theyhoped,wouldbesleepingsoundlyatasafedistance,theprefectsallin bedintheSixthFormquartersandboundinslumberschain.Now,atmidnight,theywereready tomaketheventure.ButstillthatlightglimmeredfromQuelch'sstudywindowintothedimquad.
CHAPTERXXI

"Hecan'tbegoingtositupallnight,surely!"mutteredFrankNugent. "Bothertheman!"gruntedJohnnyBull."He'sasregularasclockworkasaruleofftobedatthe tickofeleven.Nowit'stwelve." "IIwonderwhetherhesuspects!"murmuredHarryWharton. TheBoundergaveascoffinglaugh. "Ofcoursehedoes,"hesnapped."He'sonwatch!Quelchknowsaswellaswedothatwecan't carryononemptytummies.Heknowsourgamejustasifwe'dtoldhim." "Um!"saidBob. "Nogoodwatchingforthatlighttogoout,"growledSmithy."Quelchhasgotusinthehollowofhis hand,ifwecan'tgetgrub.Thinkhe'llgiveusachanceifhecanhelpit?" Thejuniorslookedatoneanotherinthedimglimmerofstarlightatthewindow.Theycouldnot helpfeelingthatSmithywasright.CertainlythatsteadygleamatQuelch'swindowlookedlikeit. ButifQuelchwassittinguponwatch,theprospectsofaraidonthelarderdidnotseemvery bright. "We'vegottochanceit,"saidVernonSmith. "IfQuelchspotsus!"saidRedwing,dubiously. "Hewillspotus!Thinkhe'ssittingupwithhiseyesclosedandhisearsplugged?He'sjustwaiting forustodowhathejollywellknowswe'regoingtodo,andhewillspotusallright." "Thatratherwashesitout,"saidNugent. "Rot!Adozenofuswillgo,"saidVernonSmith."Quelchwillbuttinyoucantakethatasacert. Well,weupendhim." "Eh?" "What?" "UpendQuelch?" "Whynot?We'vedoneenoughalreadytobebunked,ifwedon'tmakethemcometoterms.We upendhim,andtiehimupwiththetailofhisowngown." "Oh,myhat!" "Who'sgame?"askedSmithy. "Drawitmild,oldman,"murmuredBob."There'salimit." "Thegamefulnessisterrific,myesteemedSmithy!ButtheupendfulnessoftheestimableQuelch isnotthepropercaper." Smithylookedroundatthedimfaces,withasarcasticsneeronhisown.TheBounderwas preparedforanydesperatemeasures.Buttheotherfellowswerebynomeansreadyforsuchan enterpriseas"upending"Quelchandtyinghimupinthetailofhisowngown.Therewas,asBob said,alimit. HarryWhartonlookedfromthewindowagain.Thedistantlightwasstillglimmeringfromthe studyintothequad. "IIsupposeQuelchcouldn'thavegonetobed,andforgottentoturnhislightoff?"suggested Nugent. Snort,fromtheBounder. "DoesQuelcheverforgetanything?" "Um!No." "Hark!"whisperedSquiff.Therewasasoundofafootstepinthesilenceofthenight,andthe juniorsallspunroundtowardsthedooroftheRag.Thatfootstepwascomingupthepassage. Theylistened,tensely.Thefootstepspausedatthedoor:therewasamoment'ssilence,andthen theywereheardtorecedeagain.Theydiedaway. "Quelch!"whisperedBob. "Doingsentrygo,"gruntedtheBounder."Thinkhe'sgonetobedandlefthislightonnow, Nugent?" "No,fathead!ThatwasQuelch,ofcourse." "Keepinganeyeonus,"saidBob."Quelchisadownybird." "ThedowninessoftheridiculousQuelchispreposterous!"remarkedHurreeJamsetRamSingh. "Wecouldhaverushedhim,whilehewassniffingatthedoor,"growledVernonSmith. "Oh,chuckit,Smithy."

"Well,whatarewegoingtodo,then?" "Wait!"saidHarry. Therebelswaited.TheirhopewasthatQuelchwouldgettiredofhisvigilandgotobed.There couldbenodoubtthatamanaccustomedtoearlyandregularhourswouldgetfrightfullysleepy inthemiddleofthenight,andhemightconcludethattherebelswereasleepatsuchanhour, tooevenifhesuspected,hecouldnotbecertainoftheirplans.Theolderthenightgrew,the moreattractivebedwouldseemtothetiredandsleepyformmaster.Withthathope,theywaited, tillthestrokeofoneboomeddullythroughthenightfromtheclocktower.Butaglancefromthe windowshowedthatthelightinQuelch'sstudywasstillburningsteadily. "He'smakinganightofit,Isuppose,"mumbledPeterTodd."Isupposehejollywellknowsour game,asSmithysays." "He'ssittingthisoneout,that'sacert,"saidBob. "SittingupwithjollyoldEuripidesorblitheringoldSophoclestokeephimcompany!"growled VernonSmith."Lookhere,we'vegottochanceit,andsitonQuelchandkeephimquietifhebutts in." "Packthatup,Smithy." TheBoundergrowledangrily,buthewasinaminorityofone.Nobodyelsewasdisposedtolay disrespectfulhandsonthemajesticpersonofQuelch.Therewasthesoundofayawninthegloom, followedbyavoice. "Lookhere,youchaps.I'vegotanidea." "Hallo,hallo,hallo!Ithoughtyouwereasleep,Mauly." "Notatall,dearboy.I'vebeenthinkin'." "Hasitgivenyouapain?"askedtheBounder,sarcastically. "Shutup,Smithy!What'sthejollyoldidea,Mauly?"askedHarryWharton.TheBoundergavea sniff,evidentlyhavingbutlittlefaithinanyideasthatmightgerminateinthearistocraticintellect ofLordMauleverer.Buttheotherfellowsgaveattention. "DearoldQuelchissittin'upinhisstudy,"murmuredhislordship."Whataboutafellowwhippin' along,grabbbin'hiskey,jammin'itinoutside,andlockin'himin?" "Oh!" "Ofcourse,hewillhammerandthumptobeletout.Butthatwilltaketime,witheverybodyasleep inbed.What?" "Bygum!"saidBobCherry."Mauly,oldman,you'reagiddygenius.Gentlemen,chaps,andfellows, Mauly'ssolvedthejollyoldproblem." "It'sachance,anyhow,"saidSquiff."TentooneQuelchwillhavehisnoseinabook.Ifafellow's quick!" HarryWhartondrewadeepbreath. "It'sthebigidea,"hesaid."Thanks,Mauly,oldman!I'llgo.We'llgiveQuelchanotherhalfanhour andifhedoesn'tgotobed." "Hewon't!"gruntedSmithy. "ThenI'lltryiton." Thejuniorswaitedagain.Theminutespassedslowly,withoutasoundfromthesilenthouse.The halfhourchimedatlast.ThelightwasstillglimmeringfromQuelch'swindow:hehadnotgoneto bed. "Getthedooropen,"saidHarry. Quietly,orasquietlyaspossible,thewedgesthatjammedthedooroftheRagwerewithdrawn. Bobopenedthedoorafewinches,andpeeredout,andlistened.Allwasdarkandsilent. Theoldbean'snotonsentrygoagain,"hewhispered. "He'sinhisstudyandifyouhaveanyluck." HarryWhartonremovedhisshoes.Silent,inhissocks,hecreptoutoftheRag.Hisfriends remainedatthedoor,watchinghimashedisappearedintodarkness. Thepassagewasasblackasahat.ButthecaptainoftheRemovekneweveryinchoftheway,and helostnotime.InafewminuteshewasstandingatthecornerofMasters'Studies,lookingalong thecorridortowardsthedoorofQuelch'sstudy.Hecaughthisbreathashelooked.Lightfrom

Quelch'sstudystreamedoutintothecorridor.TheRemovemaster'sdoorwasstandingwide openevidentlysothathewouldnotfailtohearanysoundthatmightstirinthesilenthouse. Whartonsethislips.Theopenstudydoormadehistaskmoredoubtfulofsuccess.Tentoone Quelchwouldbesittingfacingthedoorway,andwouldseehimtheinstantheappearedthere.He hadplannedtoopenthedoorsuddenlyandsnatchthekeyfromtheinside.Nowhehadtotakethe chance,butitwasaverydoubtfuloneandhepaused,hisheartbeating. Ashestood,afaintsoundcametohisears,andhestarted.Itwasthesoundofarumblingsnore. Foramoment,hefanciedthatanechoofBillyBunter'ssnorewasinhisears.Buthewastoofar fromtheRagforthat.Thenheunderstood,andsuppressedachuckle. Snore! Itwasafaintanddistantrumble.Butitwasunmistakable.Itproceededfromtheopendoorwayof Quelch'sstudy.Ittolditsowntale!Silently,hecreptupthecorridor,andlookedinattheopen door. SUCCESSFULOPERATION! MR.QUELCHsatinhisarmchairatthefiresideinhisstudy.Ithadbeenturnedsoastofacethe opendoorway,andQuelchsatfacingHarryWhartonasthejuniorlookedin.Hadhiseyesbeen open,nodoubttheywouldhaveopenedwider,attheunexpectedsightofthecaptainofthe Remove.Buttheywerenotopentheywereshut!Athalfpastonea.m.Mr.Quelchhadnolonger beenabletoresisttheblandishmentsofthesleepygod,andMorpheushadhimfast. Hisbooklayopenonhisknee.Hisheadleanedbackonoldsoftleather.Hesleptandatintervals, withafaintrumble,hesnored! Quelch,ofcourse,hadnotintendedtotakeanap.Hehadsatuponthewatch,andhehadfully intendedtoremainalert.TowhileawaythewearyvigilhehadenlistedtheservicesofEuripides. Perhapsthat,addedtothefatigueofalongday,andunaccustomedlatehours,haddoneit.Quelch, unconsciously,hadnodded:andfromnodding,hadsunkintoslumberandtherehesat,facing Wharton,fastasleep.Euripidesrestedunheededonhisknee.Itwasamatterofregretfulconcern toMr.Quelchthat,oftheseventyfiveknownworksofthatgreatGreek,hardlyascorehad survivedforthedelectationoflaterages.Butasinglespotseemedtohavebeenenoughforhimon thepresentoccasion.Anyhow,whetheritwasfatigue,orlatehours,orEuripides,Quelchwasdeep inslumber. "Oh,myhat!"murmuredWharton. Foralongmoment,hestaredacrossthestudyathissleepingformmaster.Quelchdidnotstir.He sleptonandanotherfaintwhirringrumbletestifiedtothesoundnessofhisslumber. Then,ontiptoe,HarryWhartonsteppedintothestudy. Withextremecaution,withoutasound,hedrewthekeyfromtheinnersideofthelock. Quelchwasasleepbuthemightwake.ItwaseasytocarryoutthebrightideaofLord Maulevererandonlyprudenttodoso.IfQuelchwokeup,itwasobviouslybettertohavea lockeddoorbetweenhimandtherebelsoftheRemove. Softly,silently,Whartondrewthedoorshut.Heturnedthehandlecarefully,latchingitwithouta sound.Slowlyandcautiouslyheslippedthekeyintotheoutsideofthelock,andtherewasnotthe faintestsoundasheturnedit,anddrewitoutagain.Thenhetiptoedawaydownthecorridor,a lowrumblingsnorefromthestudyfollowinghimashewent. HegropedhiswaythroughthedarknessbacktotheRag.Abreathlesswhispercameashe approachedthedoorwhereadozenjuniorswaitedanxiouslyinthedark. "Thatyou,oldchap?"whisperedNugent. "Littleme,"answeredHarry,cheerfully. "We'venotheardanything,"mutteredBobCherry. "IthoughtweshouldhearQuelch'sdoorbang,fromhere." "Soweshouldhave,"growledtheBounder."Whartonhasn'tdoneit.Haveyoufunkedit,orwhat?" "MyesteemedidioticSmithy!"murmuredHurreeJamsetRamSingh.
CHAPTERXXII

"Lookhere,I'dbettergo,"snappedtheBounder. "Shutupaminute,Smithy,"gruntedJohnnyBull. "What'shappened,Wharton?" "I'velockedQuelch'sdooronhim." "Oh!"ejaculatedSmithy."Lookhere,meantosayQuelchletyoutakeyourtimeaboutit?" "Exactly."

"Wasn'theinthestudy?"askedtheBounder,puzzled. "Oh,yes,sittingfacingthedoor.Itwaswideopen.Ihadlotsoftimetotakethekeyandclosethe doorwithoutbangingit." "Quelchletyoudoit?"exclaimedVernonSmith. "Yes.Heneversaidaword." "Well,Ican'tunderstandit,then." "Lotsofthingsyoucan'tunderstand,Smithy.Ihaventmentionedyetthathewasfastasleepinhis chair." "Oh!" "Ha,ha,ha!" TherewasachuckleintheRag. "Andnowwe'dbettergetgoing,"continuedthecaptainoftheRemove."Quelchlookedasifhewas setforthenight,butyouneverknow.Thesoonerwegetthegrubhere,thebetter." "Youbet!"chuckledBob."Everyjollyoldminuteispreciousnow.Weshan'tgetanotherchance afterthis:andwe'vegottoraideveryspotofgrubwecanlayourhandson,andstandasiege." "Callallthefellows,"saidHarry."Andnotasound,mind.Wevegotalottodo,andwe'vegottoget throughwithoutgivingthealarm,ifwecan.Itwon'tdotoloseaminute." Notaminutewaslost.FellowswhohadfallenasleepmtheRagwereroused,withtheexceptionof BillyBunter.ThefatOwl,beingregardedasofnoparticularuse,wasleftsnoringinhisarmchair. Therewereyawns,andmumbles,andrubbingofeyes,butthewholecrowdweresoonready. EvenSkinnerandCo.werekeen.Everyfellowwokeuphungry,andtheprospectof"grub"was inspiriting. TheRemovites,allofthemverywideawake,nowcrowdedoutoftheRagintothepassage,ina stateofbreathlessexcitement.Everyfellowhadremovedhisshoes,andwassilentinhissocks. HarryWharton,followedbyatiptoeingcrowd,ledthewaytotheservicedoor,whichgaveaccess tothekitchenregions:thequarterwhereprovisionsweretobefound.Thatitemwasthemost importantontheprogramme.Blanketsandotherthingswerewanted,iftimeallowed,but"grub" wasindispensable. Forthenexthour,anywakefuleyepeeringthroughthegloommighthavehadtheimpressionthat theoldschoolwashauntedbyinnumerablegliding,whisperingghosts.

Dimformsglidedintheshadows.Lowvoicesexchangedhurriedwhispers.Occasionallytherewas aslightsound,assomefellowstumbled,ordroppedsomething.Buttherebelswereverycautious. Alldependedoncaution. Toandfroformsflitted,andarmfulsandbagfulsofassortedsuppliesweredumped,oneafter another,intheRag,whereBillyBuntersnoredinhappyunconsciousnessthatanythingwasgoing on. InaschoollikeGreyfriars,withmorethantwohundredfellowstocaterfor,thesuppliesonhand werenaturallyextensive.Vegetables,grownontheschoolallotments,wereample.Allwasgrist thatcametothemill.Fellowsabouttostandasiegecouldnotstandonceremony.Otherformsat Greyfriarswerelikelytofeelthepinchthenextday.Thatcouldnotbehelped.Otherformscould waittillfreshsupplieswereobtained:theRemovecouldn't.Thiswas,asBobhadsaid,theonly chancetherebelswerelikelytohave,andtheyhadtomaketheverymostofit. Foralonghourtheyworked,flittingtoandfro:andattheendofthattime,almosteveryspotof foodtobefoundwithinthewallsofGreyfriarswaspiledandstackedmtheRag.Therewerewhole sacksofpotatoes,pilesofotherthings,stacksofassortedprovender.Manyofthehungryjuniors sampledthesupplies,astheyworked,inwhichlineBillyBunterwouldhaverenderedyeoman service,hadhebeenawake.ButthefatOwlsnoredon:andifhedreamed,littledreamedthatpots ofjamwerewithinreachofhisfatfingers. Allthewhile,therebelswerealertforanysoundofalarm.Buttherewasnoalarm.Mr.Quelch,in hisstudy,sleptassoundlyasWilliamGeorgeBunterintheRag,andnooneelsewaslikelyto awake.Quelch'sinadvertentnapwassheerluckfortherebels.Hadhebeenlockedawake,inhis study,itwouldcertainlyhavetakenhimsometimetogetreleasedperhapsaquarterofanhour. Thatwouldhavebeenusefulbutnotsousefulashisprolongednap!Theyhadhadawholehour now,andstilltherewasnosoundfromQuelchsstudy. Theworkwasfinishedatlast:theRagprovisionedforasiege,therestofGreyfriarsleftinthestate ofMotherHubbard'scupboard. "O.K.,"saidBobCherry,hisvoicealittlemuffledbyamouthfulofbiscuits."We'vegotenough evenforBunter!" "Theokayfulnessisterrific,"chuckledthenabobofBhanipur. "DearoldQuelch!"murmuredPeterTodd."Let'shopehe'senjoyinghisnap." "Ha,ha,ha!" "Nowforthedorm,"saidHarryWharton."We'reinluckwe'vegottimetobagtheblanketsand things.Adozenfellowswillbeenoughthereststophereandkeepguard." Silentfiguresflittedawaytothestairs.Fellowsinotherforms,fastasleepintheirdormitories, heardnothing.ThedooroftheRemovedormitorywasopenedsoftlyandtheytiptoedin.The Bounderturnedonaflashlamp:andtheygatheredblanketsandpillowsfromthebeds. Therewasstillnosoundofalarm,astheraiderscreptdownthestaircaseagain,heavilyladen. Butastheyreachedthefootofthestaircase,theBounderutteredasuddenexclamation. "Hark!" Fromthedistancecameasoundthroughthesilenceofthenight.Itwasthesoundofathumpona door.Itwasdistant,butplainlyheard,echoingthroughthesilence. "Quelch!"breathedHarryWharton."He'swokeup!" Thump!thump! "Soundsasifhe'swokeup!"chuckledtheBounder."Buthewon'twakeuptheotherbeaksina hurry.DearoldQuelchhasgottowaitabit.Hark!He'sgoingit!"Thump!thump! "Puttinghisbeefintoit,andnomistake,"murmuredPeterTodd."Comeonsomebodywillhear thatbeforelong." "Toolate!"chuckledtheBounder."Thetoolatefulnessisterrific." "Comeonquick!"exclaimedHarry. TheyranfortheRag.Louderandlouder,throughthesilenthouse,cametheechoingsoundof thumpingonadoor,fromthedirectionofMasters'Studies.Onlytooclearly,Mr.Quelchwas awakeandhaddiscoveredthathewaslockedinhisstudy!Thump!thump!thump! Howlongitwouldtakeforthatloudandangrythumpingtorousesleepingears,thejuniorsdid notknow,buttheylostnotime.TheyranfortheRag,andcrowdedin.Thedoorwasslammed,the

lightturnedon,andthewedgespushedunderthebigdooragain,BobCherrybangingthemhome withhishammer.Bang,bang,bang,fromtheRag,answeredthump,thump,thump,fromMasters' Studies:andinthehithertosleepinghousetherewasasoundofstirring.

CHAPTERXXIII

THUMP!thump!thump! "Ow!Oh!Ooooh!" Mr.Quelch,inastateofconsiderableexcitementinhisstudy,wasthumpingonthedoorfor releaseandhethumpednotwiselybuttoowell!Quelchsknucklesweretoughbuthardold oakwastougher.Havingdeliveredaparticularlyenergeticthump,Mr.Quelchsuddenlyceased thumping,andclaspedhisrighthandwithhisleft,spluttering. "Oh!Ah!Oooooh!Whooooh!Oh!" Butthenoisehadbeenheard.IfQuelchsthumpinghadfailedtorouseoutsleepers,thebangingof thehammerintheRagwouldhavedoneso.Lightswereflashingoninthehouse,andtherewere footstepsandvoices.FromadistancetheboomofMr.ProutreachedQuelch. "Whatisit?Doyouknowwhatitis,Wingate?Oryou,Loder?Whatisthisextraordinary,this unprecedented,thisunparalleleddisturbanceinthemiddleofthenight?" Thump!thump!thump!Quelchrestartedaftertheinterval,usinghislefthandthistime,andwith morecircumspection.Therewerefootsteps,andtherustleofavoluminousdressinggown,inthe corridor. "Quelch!Isthatyou,Quelch?Whatisthematter?Isyourstudyonfire.Isitburglars?Blessmy soul!"Thedoorhandlerattled,asProutgraspedit."Quelch!Ityouarethere,openthedoor." "Thedoorislocked!"shriekedMr.Quelch. "Locked!"repeatedMr.Prout."Thenforgoodness'sakeunlockit,Quelch.Whyhaveyoulocked yourselfinyourstudy,Quelch?" "Ihavenotlockedmyselfinmystudy!"ravedtheRemovemaster. "What?What?YousaidthedoorwaslockedandIcertainlycannotopenitwhatdoyoumean, Quelch?" "Ishouldthinkthatthatwasplaintothemostlimitedintelligence,Mr.Prout!Ihavebeenlockedin fromoutside,"roaredMr.Quelch."Willyouhavethekindnesstounlockthedoorinsteadof wastingfurthertime?" "Really,Quelch!" "Willyouunlockthedoor,Mr.Prout?ItellyouIhavebeenlockedin.Imusthavefallenasleepin mychairforamoment,andsomeonemusthavelockedthedoorwhilemyeyeswereclosedwill youunlockItatonce? "Ishouldbeverygladtodoso,Quelch." "Thendosoatonce." "ifthekeywerehere" "What?" "Asthereisnokey,Icannotunlockthedoor,"saidMr.Prout."Icannotunlockadoorwithouta key,Quelch.That,Ithink,shouldbeplaintothemostlimitedintelligence,"addedMr.Prout,in sarcasticparodyofhiscolleague. Mr.Quelch'sjawclosedlikeavice.Evidentlytheunknownwhohadlockedhiminhadtakenthe keyaway.Seldom,ornever,hadMr.Quelchbeensodeeplyandintenselyexasperated.Hewould probablyhavegroundhisteeth,hadtheybeenhisfirstorsecondset.Buthisthirdsetweretoo expensivetobesodealtwith.Heclosedthemveryhardinstead. Hecouldguess,ofcourse,whathadhappened.Hehadsatuptowatch,feelingcertainthatthe rebelsintheRagwouldemergeatsometimeduringthenightinsearchofprovender.Thenall Quelchhadtodowastoweighin,caneinhand,whilethedooroftheRagwasopen.Unluckilyhe hadfallenasleepinhischaironlyforafewmoments,hesupposed.Buttheyoungrascalshad takenfulladvantageofthosefewmoments.Unawarethatanhourandahalfhadelapsedsincehis

TOOLATE!

eyeshadclosedoverEuripides,itseemedtoQuelchthateverymomentwaspreciousandhere hewas,stilllockedinhisstudy! "Wingate!Areyouthere,Wingate?" "Iamhere,sir,"camebackthevoiceofthecaptainofGreyfriars."Ifthere'sanythingIcando, sir." "Gotothejuniordayroomatonce.Ifthedoorisstillopen,takecarethattheboysdonotcloseit." "Oh!Yes,sir." Wingatehurriedaway.Mr.Quelchwasleftinhisstudyratherlikeatigerinacage.Tocomfort him,heheardseveralvoicesinchoruswithProut'sinthecorridoroutside.Othermastershad comedownHacker,Capper,Wiggins,andMonsieurCharpentier.Quelchglaredatthelocked door.Hewantedtobereleasedbuthedidnotwantalargeandincreasingaudience. "Whatisthisdisturbance?" "Whatisthematter?" "Mondieu!Maisqu'estquec'est?C'estaffreuse!Vatisitzen?" "Quelchislockedinhisstudy!"boomedProut. "Someboyofhisform." "Quelch'sboys!"cameHacker'sacidsarcasticvoice."Oh!TheRemove!"saidMr.Capper. "CepauvreQuelch!Laporteestferme,n'estcepas!Hlas!CepauvreQuelch!" "Suchadisturbanceatthishour!" "Really,oneexpectstobeallowedtosleepatnight!" "JecroisIzinkzatitisahouseonfireitisacommotionofzemostgrand." Mr.Quelchalmostfoamed,ashelistened.ThenheheardWingate'svoiceagain. "Pleaseletmepass."ThecaptainofGreyfriarshadreturned,andhadapparentlytopushhisway throughabarrageofbeaks. Quelchrappedonthedoor. "Wingate!Didyoufindthedayroomopen?" "Nosir!Thedoorwasclosedandfastened.Butoneofthejuniorspushedakeyunderthedoorhe saiditwasthekeytoyourstudy." "Oh!Unlockitatonce,Wingate." ItwasarelieftoMr.Quelchtohearthekeyscrapeintothelock.Thedooropened.Quelchalmost shotintothecorridor. ProutandHacker,CapperandMossooandWigginsbackedhastilytogivehimroomtopass. Quelchdidnotwasteawordorlookonthem.Hewhirledpastlikeathunderstorm. "Monpauvreami!"beganMonsieurCharpentier,fullofsympathy.ButQuelchhadnouseforthe Frenchmaster'ssympathy.Hewhirledaway. Thegatheringofbeaksexchangedeloquentandexpressiveglances,anddeparted.Wingate grinnedfaintlyashefollowedtheirexample.Quelch,heedlessofthemall,arrivedatthedoorof theRag,almostbreathless.Butthatdoor,asWingatehadtoldhim,wasclosedandfastened.A resoundingbangofBobCherry'shammerhaddriventhelastwedgesafelyhome. Mr.Quelchrappedonthepanels. "Hallo,hallo,hallo!Isthatyouagain,Wingate?Goandboilyourhead,oldbean." "ItisI,Cherry!"thunderedMr.Quelch. "Oh!Sorry,sir!Idon'twantyoutogoandboilyourhead,ofcourse,sir." "Ha,ha,ha!" "Ihavebeenlockedinmystudy!"Mr.Quelch'svoicetrembledwithwrath."Iamwellawarethatit wassomeboyhere." "He'sguessedit!"cametheBoundersvoice."Somebrain,what?" "Ha,ha,ha!" "Youwillfindthatthisisnotamatterformerriment,gaspedMr.Quelch."NodoubtImayhave closedmyeyes,foramoment,overmybook.ButIamwellawareofwhatwasyourintentionto obtainasupplyoffoodtoenableyoutocarryonthisrebellion.Isnotthatthecase,Wharton?" "Yes,sir."

"Fortunately,youhavehadnotimetocarryoutanysuchintention,asmyeyeswereclosedonly forafewmoments.AndIrepeatthewarningIgaveyoubeforethatnofoodwillreachyoutill youhavesubmittedtoauthority.Understandthatclearly." "Oh,myhat!" "Ha,ha,ha!" Evidently,totheGreyfriarsrebels,Mr.Quelchwasasyetunawarethattheyhadcarriedouta successfulmilitaryoperationwhilsthiseyeswereclosedovertheentrancingpagesofEuripides. "Don'tyouworry,sir,"chuckledtheBounder."We'venotbeenlosingtime.Itisn'tusthatwillhave emptyplatesinthemorning." "We'reallright,sir," "Therightfulnessisterrific!" "Ha,ha,ha!"roaredtheBounder."Comeroundtothewindowinthemorning,sir,andwe'llchuck youabiscuit.It'sallthebrekkeryou'llget," Mr.Quelchgavequiteaconvulsivestart.Itdawneduponhismindthathehad,perhaps,nodded overEuripidesformorethanamomentortwo! "Ddodoyoumeantosay?"hestuttered. "Wejollywellmeantosaythatwe'vesnaffledallthejollyoldgrubthereisinthejollyoldhouse!" chortledtheBounder."PerhapstheHeadwillaskyoutobrekkerinhishouse,sir.Ifnot,come roundforthatbiscuit!' "Ha,ha,ha!" "Whatwhatwhatisthetime,Wharton?" "Fiveminutespastthree,sir." "Oh!" Mr.Quelchturnedawaywithoutanotherword.Hisfeelingsweretoodeepforwords.Asoundof chuckling,mingledwithmunching,followedhimfromtheRag.Therebelswereenjoyingalate supper.Mr.Quelch,realisingthattherewasnopurposetobeservedbykeepingfurtherwatch wenttobedandashewent,hisbrowswerewrinkledinamorefrightful,fearful,franticfrown thanthatoftheLordHighExecutioner. COKERASKSFORIT! CLANG!clang!clang! "Urrrggh!Lemmealone!" "Wakeup,Bunter." "Beast!" Clang!clang! TherisingbellwasringingatGreyfriarsinthesunnymorning.InjuniordormitoriesandSixth Formstudies,Greyfriarsfellowswereturningouttoanewday.IntheRag,theRemovewereup withtheexceptionofBillyBunter.Allthroughthenight,BillyBunterhadsleptsoundly,hissnore intermittentbutunceasing. Nobodyhadtroubledtoawakenhimduringtheexcitementofthenight;andthefatOwlwasnot likelytoawakenonhisownaccount.Howafellowcouldsleepthroughthebuzzingofvoicesthat hadfollowedthenight'soperations,thebangingofBob'shammerwedgingthedoor,wasrathera mystery;butBillyBunterwasagoodsleeperitwasoneofthethingshecoulddoreallywell.Rip vanWinklehadnothingonW.G.Bunterinthatline. Havingsnoredonthroughthebuzzingandtrampling,andbanging,andvariousothernoises, Bunterwasnotlikelytoawakenattheclangoftherisingbell.Inbedinthedormitoryhewas accustomedtopassitbyliketheidlewindwhichheregardednot,tillsomefellowawakenedhim withashove,oraJerk,orbypullingthebedclothesoffandhepasseditbyunregardednow.So BobCherrykindlygavehimacall. Bob'sstentorianvoice,bawlinginhisfatear,causedBunterssleepyeyestoopenalittlenot much.Theyremainedopenlongenoughforhimtoejaculate"Beast",andthenclosedagain.
CHAPTERXXIV

"Rouseout,fatty!"roaredBob,administeringashake. "Beast!Shutup!'Tain'trisingbell." "Can'tyouhearit,fathead?" "Eh!Oh!"Bunterblinked."Well,youidiot,whatdoesrisingbellmatternow?Weain'tinthedorm now,fathead!There'snothingtogetupfor,chump!Leaveafellowalone.Yah!" "Whataboutbrekker?"askedBob. "Beast!"roaredBunter."Youjollywellknowthatthereain'tanybrekker,andI'mjollywellgoing tosleepaslongasIjollywellcan,soyah!" "Ha,ha,ha!"cameayellofmerriment.Bunterhavingslumberedthroughthenight,wasasyet unawarethatprovenderwasnowampleintheRag,andthattherewasgoingtobebreakfast.Had Bunterbeenawareofthatimportantcircumstance,hewouldhavebeenoutofthearmchairwitha bound,sleepyashewas.ButthefatOwlwasignorantofit,anditwasacasewhereignorancewas notbliss. Buntersnored,pillowedafatheadonafatarmagain,curlingupinthearmchair,andwentto sleeponcemore.BobCherrychuckled,andlefthimtoit.IfBunterpreferredtosleep,therewasno reasonwhyheshouldn't.Leavinghimtosnore,Bobrushedoffintothelobbytojoininthescrum foranearlywash. Therisingbellceasedtoclang,andBillyBuntercontinuedtosnore.Everybodyelsewasactiveand merryandbright.TheRemoviteswereingreatspiritsthatmorning. "Owhatabeautifulmorning!"sangBobCherry,ashesplashedcoldwaterrightandleft." Everything'sgoingourway!" "Bygum,I'mreadyforbrekker,"saidBolsovermajor."Icoulddowithtwoorthreeafter yesterday!Wecanjollywellspreadourselvesforonce,withallthegrubintheschoolhere." "Whataboutrations?"askedPeterTodd. "Blowrations!I'mjollywellgoingtohavetwoorthreeeggs,andacoupleofrashers,andawhole potofjam,and." "Thatwon'tdo,"saidHarryWharton,decidedly."We'vegotgrub,butwe'vegottomakeitlast. They'lltakejollygoodcarenottoletushavesuchachanceagain,andgoodnessknowshowlong thisshindymaygoon." "True,OKing!"agreedBobCherry. "Lookhere,"bawledBolsover,indignantly."We'rebarringoutthebeaks,ain'twe,andwecanjolly welldoaswelike,see?" "Notatall,"saidthecaptainoftheRemove."We'renotgoingtoscoffmorethanusualwe're goingtoscoffless,tomakeitlast.We'regoingonstrictrations,andanyfellowwhodoesn't agree." "Well,Idon'tforone!"roaredBolsovermajor."O.K.Collarhim,youfellows,andstickhishead inthatwashbasin!We'llkeepittheretillheagrees." "Hear,hear!" "Baghim!" "Holdon,"exclaimedBolsovermajorhastily,astheFamousFivegatheredroundhim."Handsoff, blowyou.IIdaresayyou'reright,cometothinkofit.Sticktorationsandbeblowed." "Sureyouagree?"askedBob."Wedon'tmindupendingyouandstickingyourheadinthewater,if you'rekeenonit." "Isthekeenfulnessterrific,myesteemedBolsover?" "Oh,goandeatcoke!"yappedBolsovermajor.Afterwhichheheldhispeace,andsomeother thoughtlessfellows,whohadbeendisposedtobackuphissuggestion,heldtheirpeacealso. ThebigcupboardintheRag,nowinuseasatemporarylarder,wasstackedfromtoptobottom, withallsortsofvariedsupplies.Certainlytheylookedample,butthewiserheadsamongthe rebelsrealisedthatrationingwasessential,fortherecouldbenodoubtthateveryprecaution wouldbetakenbythe"enemy"topreventanyrenewalofsupplies.WhenthebigtableintheRag wasspreadforbreakfastitwasasufficientbutfrugalmealandfellowswhoweredissatisfied tookitoutingrumbling. Breakfastproceededtoanaccompanimentofsnoresfromthearmchairinwhichthefattestfigure atGreyfriarsSchoolwascurledupinslumber.GrinningfacesturnedtowardsBillyBunterashe

snored.Bunterwantedhissleepout,andtheylethimhaveit;butwhatBunterwouldsaywhenhe didwakeup,andfoundthatgrubhadbeenavailableforhours,wasquiteinterestingto contemplate. TheclatterofcrocksandthebuzzofvoicesdidnotawakenBunter.Heslumberedon Epimenideshimselfcouldnothavedonebetter. Breakfastover,therebelsclearedthetable,andcrockswerewashedinthelobbyandpacked away.Afterwhich,BobCherrywassortingouthissoccerball,whenhebecameawareofared wrathfulfacestaringinatthewindow. "Hallo,hallo,hallo!There'sjollyoldCoker!"exclaimedBob. Rap!rap!cameCoker'sknucklesonapane,soemphaticallythatitcracked.CokeroftheFifthhada heavyhand. HarryWhartonopenedthecasement.AcrowdofsmilingfaceslookedoutatHoraceCoker.Coker didnotsmile." "Lookhere,youcheekyfags!"roaredCoker."Doyouknowthatthere'snothingforbrekkermthe school?" "We'dguessedthatone!"admittedBob. "Ihearthatyou'vewalkedoffthewholelot,andyou'vegotithere!"roaredCoker."Thinkyoucan makeaFifthFormmangowithouthisbrekker?" "Thethinkfulnessisterrific,myesteemedCoker." "Youcheekylittlescrubbyvillains!Lookhere,youjollywellhandoutsomethingforme,see!" bawledCoker. ApparentlyCokeroftheFifthregardedhisownbreakfastasbeingmoreimportantthananyone else's. "Sorry,"saidBob,politely."Asknextdoor!" "Whatwehave,wehold!"chuckledJohnnyBull. "Holdon,though,"saidtheBounder."Let'shandCokersomething,ashe'saskingforit." "Can'tspareathing,Smithy,"saidPeterToddshakinghishead.' "We'vegotlotsofspuds,"saidSmithy. "Spuds?" "YesletCokerhaveone." "Ha,ha,ha!" Whiz! Cokerhaddemandedthatsomethingshouldbehandedouttohim.Perhapshehadnotexpecteda potato.Butthatwaswhathereceivedandhereceiveditfairlyonhisprominentnose. Bang! "Oh!"roaredCoker,ashereceivedit. "Ha,ha,ha!" "Goodshot!" "LetCokerhaveanotherspud!" "Oh!Ow!Woooogh!"splutteredCoker.Hedidnotwaitforanotherspud.Withhishandclaspedto hissufferingnose,CokeroftheFifthdepartedinhaste.
CHAPTERXXV

GRUB!

"OH,lor'!"moanedBillyBunter. ThefatOwloftheRemovesatupandtooknoticeatlast. Bunterhadhadhissleepout.EvenBunter,goodashewasinthatline,couldnotkeepitupsolong asRipvanWinkle.Hesatupatlast,sethisspectaclesstraightonhisfatlittlenose,andblinked dismallyanddolorouslyroundtheRag,andmoaned. Bunterwasinthelowestofspirits.

EverybodyelseintheRagseemedquitecheerful.Someofthejuniorswerepuntingasoccerball, withplentyofvim.Otherswereplayingdarts,withadartboardslunguponthedoor.Inone corneraneighthandedmillwasgoingon;fourfellowswiththeglovesonallatonce.Agroup stoodbythewindow,lookingoutintothesunnyquadranglewithcheeryfaces.LordMauleverer, elegantlyreclininginanarmchair,lookedasplacidandcontentasusual.FisherT.Fish,inacorner, wascountinghismoney,andseemedtobeenjoyinghimself.WibleywasreadingShakespeare MarkLinleywasreadingGreektheBounderwasscanningapinkpaper,andcalculatingthe chancesofPulledPeterintheWelsher'sPlate.EverybodybutBunter,infact,seemedtoregardlife asacheerfulproposition,andwellworthliving.ToBillyBunteritseemedadrearydesert.Never, inallhisfatcareerhadexistenceonthisplanetseemedtoBillyBuntersoweary,stale,flat,and unprofitable. Bunterwashungry!Hewasawfullyhungry.Hewasfearfullyhungry.Heknewnowwhatitwas liketobeadriftinanopenboatatsea.Itwaslikethis! Hemoaned. "Isay,youfellows." "Hallo,hallo,hallo!Wakingupalready?"askedBobCherry."It'sonlyteno'clock,Bunter." "I'mtoohungrytosleep!"moanedBunter."Isay,youfellows,thiscantgoon.IIIdon'twant youtobesacked,Bob,butbutyoucanseeitwon'tdo,can'ty ou,oldchap?" "Notquite!"saidBob,shakinghishead."Lookstomeasifitwilldoallright." "Ain'tyoufellowshungry?"askedBunter."Notparticularly." "I'mdyingofhunger!"groanedBunter. "Well,lookhere,"saidJohnnyBull."Gotosleepagain,anddiequietly." "Beast!" BillyBunterdraggedhisfatlimbsfromthearmchairHeblinkedroundatgrinningfaces,withlack lustreeyesbehindhisbigspectacles.Howtheotherfellowscouldlooksomerryandbright,inthe circumstances,wasamysterytoBunter.Hisfatfacewasthepictureofwoe. "Isay,youfellows,wecan'tkeepthisup!"hemumbled."Notwithoutgrub,youknow.Itain'tmuch Ieat,asyoufellowsknow." "Oh,crumbs!" "Butafellowmusthavesomething.Isay,couldn'toneofyoufellowscutout,whilethebeaksain't lookingandbagsomethingfromthetuckshop?I'llpayforitifyoulike,"addedBunter, generously."Nothingmeanaboutme,Ihope.I'llstandaquidMaulywilllendmeaquidtillmy postalordercomes,won'tyou,Mauly?" "Ha,ha,ha!" "BlessedifIseeanythingtocackleat!"howledBunter."IkeepontellingyouI'mhungry! Famished!Lookhere,we'vegottochuckthis,see!" "Thechuckfulnessisnotthepropercaper!"grinnedHurreeJamsetRamSingh."Wearestickingit outfully,myesteemedfatBunter." "Wecan't!"yelledBunter."Notwithoutgrub!Youcan'texpectit,BobCherry!Why,youbeasts,you wouldn'tbebarringoutthebeaksatallifIhadn'tsuggestedit.Itwasmyideafromthestart." "Andthebestyoueverhad!"saidHarryWharton,laughing."Keeponwiththegoodwork,old porpoise." "MyideawastohideBobsomewhere,tillQuelchgotoverhistemper,"hootedBunter. "Quelchwon'tgetoverhistempertillhe'sgotthemanwhosootedhim,"saidFrankNugent. "Quelch'stemperisn'tgettingbetter.It'sgettingworse." "Theworsefulnessisterrific." "ItellyouwecouldhideBobupthechimney." "Ha,ha,ha!" "Lookhere,wecan'tkeepthisupwithoutgrub!"roaredBunter. "Ha,ha,ha!" TherewasahowloflaughterupanddowntheRag. Thebigcupboard,stackedwithprovender,wasnotadozenfeetaway,wideopentotheview. Bunter,nowthathewasawake,hadonlytoblinkroundinthatdirection,tolearnthatthe

pressingproblemof"grub"hadbeensolved.ButthefatOwlwasnotblinkinginthatdirection hewasblinkingattheFamousFivewithaninfuriatedblink. "Cackle!"hesnorted."FatlotyoufellowscareifIfadeawaybeforeyoureyes,afterallI'vedonefor you." "Oh,gum!"saidBob."Itwilltakeyousometimetofadeaway,oldfatman.Ifyoulosea hundredweightaday,you'lllastforweeks." "Months,"saidJohnnyBull. "Beasts!"groanedBunter."IIsay,youfellows,ofcourseIdon'twantBobtobehoofedout,but afterall,ititwon'tmatteralot,youknow.Youyouwon'tmisshimasyouwouldme!" "Oh,greatpip!" "WillwillyougoandtellQuelchyou'llgo,Bob?" "Notthismorning,"chuckledBob. "Beast!" BillyBuntercollapsedintothearmchairagain.Theexpressiononhisfatfacemighthavemoveda heartofstone. Bunterhadaconscience,littleasmostofhisacquaintanceswouldhavesuspectedhimofsucha possession.BunterhadsootedQuelch,andBobCherryhadbeensackedforit,andithadbeentoo muchforhisfatconscience.Hehadastonishedthenatives,asitwere,byhischampionshipofthe expelledjunior. Butallwaschangednow. Bunterhadn'tbeenhungrythen!Nowhewas!Hewasawfully,fearfullyhungry!Thatmadea tremendousdifference. Conscience,insuchharrowingcircumstances,hadtotakeabackseat.Itfadedrightout!Itwasnot merelyan"alsoran".Itwassimplynowhere. Indeed,atthepresentmoment,BillyBunterwouldwillinglyhaveseenhalfGreyfriarssacked,in exchangeforonesquaremeal! "Cheerup,oldfatman,"saidPeterTodd."You'regettingoutoflessons,youknow." "Blowlessons,"moanedBunter. "Youdon'thavetoturnoutatrisingbell"grinnedSkinner. "Blowrisingbell!" "Youdon'thavetowash!"saidVernonSmith. EventhatfailedtocomfortBunter.Heonlygaveadismalgroan.Thenheclosedhiseyesbehind hisspectacles.Thejuniorswatchedhimwithgrinningfaces.LikethegentlemaninDickenswho breakfastedlightlyoffacigar,andtookitoutinsleep,theFatOwlhadapparentlydecidedon slumberasaresource. "Myonlyhat!He'sgoingtosleepagain!"ejaculatedBobCherry. "Ha,ha,ha!" "Isay,youfellows,shutupthatrow!Youmightletafellowsleep,whenthere'snothingtoeat," squeakedBunter. "Ha,ha,ha!"yelledtheRemovites. BobCherrywalkedacrosstothestorecupboard.Heselectedalargeplate,andplacedonithalfa coldvealpie,flankedwithcoldpotatoes,asliceofham,andacoupleofhardboiledeggs.Itwas considerablymorethanafellowsrations,butBobfeltthatthiswasaspecialcase.Withthatwell ladenplateinhishands,hecamebacktoBunter. "Wakeup,oldporpoise,"hesaid,cheerily.Bunter'seyesdidnotopen. "Beast!"hemumbled."Gerraway!" "Butlookhere." "Willyouletafellowsleep,youbeast? "But." "Gerraway!"hissedBunter."I'mgoingtosleep,Itellyou.Gerrawayandshutup." "Ha,ha,ha!" "It'sgrub!"roaredBob. "Eh?"

Bunter'seyesopened.HeblinkedattheplateBobwasholdingunderhisfatlittlenose.Hislittle roundeyesalmostpoppedthroughhisbigroundspectaclesatthatplate.Foramoment,Billy Bunterseemedtobeunabletobelieveeitherhiseyesorhisspectacles.Thenhegrabbed. "Oh,crikey!"hegasped. Hewastednomoretimeinwords.Wordsweresuperfluous.Bunter'splumpjawsweremuchtoo busyforspeech.Foragoodtenminutes,thefatOwlputinsolidconcentratedworkonthe foodstuffs. Then,evidently,hefeltbetter.HeblinkedroundatHarryWhartonandCo. "Isay,youfellows!Thisisprime!Isay,wheredidyougetit?" "Weraidedthelarderlastnight,youfatass,whileyouweresnoring,"answeredBob,"andyou couldhavehadIthoursago,ifyouhadn'tbeentoojollylazytoturnoutwhenIcalledyou." "Oh,really,Cherry!Isay,haveyougotlots?" "Thelotfulnessisterrific,"grinnedHurreeJamsetRamSingh. "Ohgood!saidBunter.Hefilledalargemouthagain,andhisvoicecamemuffledthroughvealand ham."Isay,youfellows,keepyourpeckerup.We'renotgivingin,youknow.Blowthebeaks! We'rejollywellstickingthisout!" "Ha,ha,ha!" "Stickitout,"saidBunter."Ifyoufeelfunkyjustkeepaneyeonme!I'llseeyouthrough.Bobain't goingtobesackedwhilehesgotapallikemetostandbyhim!Blowthebeaks!Blowthepre's! BlowtheHead,ifyoucometothat!We'restickingthisout!Isay,thispieisprime!" AndBunter,fullofbeans,finishedthepie.Heleanedbackinthearmchairtorestafterhis exertions.Therewasahappysmileonhisface,mingledwithfragmentsofvealandhamandegg. Lifewasoncemoreworthliving!andBillyBunterwasvaliantlypreparedto"stickitout"at anyratesolongasthe"grub"lasted!
CHAPTERXXVI

HOTWORK!

CRASH! "Oh!" "What!" "Lookout!" Itwasasuddenalarm.FellowsintheRagjumped,andexclaimed,andstaredroundtowardsthe door. ThirdschoolwasgoingonatGreyfriars.AllformsbuttheRemovewereinclass.Perhapssomeof themratherenviedtheLowerFourth,whowereenjoyinga"singsong"intheRag,obliviousof conjugationsanddeclensions,geometryandalgebra,andFrenchIrregularverbs. TherebelsofGreyfriarsundoubtedlyseemedtobeenjoyinglife,atthemoment.Cheeryvoices wereraisedinamerrychorus:whensuddenly,thatterrificcrashcameatthedooroftheRag.The "singsong"ceasedabruptly. "Hallo,hallo,hallo,thejollyoldenemy!"exclaimedBobCherry. Crash! ThedooroftheRagwasofsolidoak,thickandstrong.Butitshookandtrembledundertheshock. Adozenwedgeshammeredinunderithelditfast,anditseemedsecureagainstanythingbuta batteringram.Butthatterrificshockreallysoundedasifabatteringramhadarrivedonthe scene. Crash!crash!crack! Anoakenpanelsplit.Splintersflewintotheroom. Therewasarushtowardsthedoor,andanalarmedsqueakfromBillyBunter. "Isay,youfellows,they'rebustinginthedoor!Oh,crikey!"

Crashagain!Thesplitpanelburst,andtheendofaheavyoakenformappearedinviewfora moment.Itwaswithdrawn,andthroughthegap,theRemoviteshadaglimpseofthepassage without. "Bygum!"breathedtheBounder."Quelchmeansbusinessthistime!" OutsidetheRag,fourprefectsoftheSixthFormcouldbeseenWingate,Gwynne,Loder,and Sykes.Theywereholdingthelong,heavyform,whichtheyhadrushedagainstthedoor.Alittle breathless,theybackedacrossthepassageforanotherrush. Mr.Quelchwasstandingthereagrimexpressiononhisface.Quelch,evidently,hadmadeuphis mindthatthetimehadcomeforheroicmeasures!Sincetheraidonthelarderthepreviousnight, itwasclearthattherebellionwouldnotpeteroutforwantofprovender.Butitcouldnotgoon inMr.Quelch'sopinion,atleast.Ithadtoend.Theexpelledjuniorhadtobedespatchedonhis homewardJourney,andtherestoftheformbroughtbacktoorderanddiscipline. Thepositionwas,infact,growingquiteintolerabletotheRemoveMaster.HisChiefexpectedhim asmasteroftherebelliousform,torestoreorder,andwasundoubtedlyalittlegrimonthesubject. StillmoreunpleasantwerethesmilesandshrugsofothermembersoftheStaff.Quelchhadhardly venturedtoshowhisfaceinCommonRoomforthelastday. Hewasreluctantveryreluctanttocausethisterrificuproar,whichrangandechoedinevery corneroftheschool.Buttherewasnohelpforit,ifthebarringoutintheRagwastoendandit hadtoend!SotherewasQuelch,lookingonwithagrimfrowningbrow,astheSixthFormmen batteredatthedooroftherebels'stronghold.' "Comeon!"rappedWingate. Thefourbigseniorsrushedagain,andagaintheoakenformcrashedonthebrokenupperpanel.It wasaterrificcrash,andthepanelflewinfragmentsintheRag,leavingahugegapinthedoor. Throughthatgreatgapstaredstartledfaces.Apairofgimleteyesfastenedonthem,astheSixth Formmenbackedforanothercharge. "Wharton!"snappedMr.Quelch. HarryWhartonlookedathim. "Wharton!Openthatdoor,beforefurtherdamageisdone!Youcanseethatitwillbedownina fewminutes.Ceasethismutiny,and." ThecaptainoftheRemovesethislips. "Backup,youfellows,"hesaid."We'rekeepingthemout." "Yes,rather." "Theratherfulnessisterrific." "Stickitout!"exclaimedtheBounder."Here,giveafellowroom!Wecangetatthemnow, anyhow."TheBounderhadachunkofcoalineitherhand,andthegleamofbattleinhiseyes. "Goodegg!" "Goit!" "Givethemallyou'vegot!"roaredCherry. Whiz! "Oh,"roaredWingate.Theseniorswereabouttochargeagain,whenalumpofcoallandedunder Wingateschin.Itlandedwithacrash,andtheGreyfriarscaptainletgotheform,andstaggered againstthewall. "Oh,myhat!"gaspedGwynne."Lookoutholysmoke!"headded,inayell,asasecondchunk caughthimundertheear. "Goodshot!" "Ha,ha,ha!" Missilescamewhizzingfastthroughthegapmthedoorchunksofcoal,potatoes,tomatoes anythingthatcametohand. "Playup,youfellows." "Givethemjip!" "Givethemterrificjip!" "Wingate!"Mr.Quelchalmostbawled.Theprefects,insteadofchargingagain,hadletgotheoaken formandwereduckinganddodging."Wingate!Proceed!Breakmthedoor!" "Oh,yes,sir!"stutteredWingate."Comeonyoumen."

 "Lookhere!"splutteredLoder. "Getonwithit,Itellyou." TheSixthFormmengraspedtheoakenformagainandchargedatthedooroftheRag.Butthe rebelswereinactionnow,andthegreatgapinthedoorgavethemplentyofchanceattheenemy. AninkpotcaughtWingateonthechin:ahassockflattenedonGwynne'sfeatures:achunkofcoal crashedintoSykes'ear,andLodergaveayell,andletgotheform,asapotato,fromtheBounder's accuratehand,landedinhiseye. Therewasacrashbutthistimeitwasmadebytheoakenformthuddingtothefloor,asWingate andCo.,quitedizziedandbewilderedbythemissilesrainingonthem,letitdrop. "Blessmysoul!"gaspedMr.Quelch. AwhizzingpotatonarrowlymissedMr.Quelch'sownmajesticnose,andheinvoluntarilybacked awayapaceortwo.Thefourprefectsbackedacrossthewidepassage,leavingtheoakenform whereitlay.ThefirefromtheRagseemedrathertoohotforthem. Mr.Quelch'sfacewasastudy.Apparentlyhehadn'texpectedthis.Really,hemighthavebuthe hadn't. "Wingate!Takeupthatform!Proceedtobreakinthedoor!"gaspedtheRemovemaster"Youare wastingtime.ThisdincanbeheardalloverGreyfriars.Proceedatonce." "Oh!Yes,sir!Comeon,youmen." "It'stoojollythick!"splutteredLoder. "Oh,youcome!Alltogether." "Yes,comeon!"yelledtheBounder,grinningfromthegapinthedoor."Backup,youfellows!Let themhaveit." WingateandCo.graspedtheoakenform,andrushediton,recklessofwhizzingmissiles.It crashedonthedoor,splinteringanotherpanel.TheBounderreachedoutthroughthegapwitha chairleginhishand.TherewasaloudcrackasitlandedonLoder'shead,andafearfulyellfrom GeraldLoder. "Yarooop!" "Ha,ha,ha!" Loderletgotheformagain,andboundedaway.Theotherthreedraggedtheoakenformback, duckinganddodging. "Isay,thisisgettingtoojollythick!"gaspedGwynn."Oh,crumbs!"headded,asatomatosquashed inhisear."Youyoungdemonsooch!" "Oh,getonwithit,"exclaimedWingate.Werenotgoingtobebeatenoffbyamoboffags!Were goingtogrooooogh!"AjetofinkywaterfromPeterTodd'ssqui rtfilledWingate'smouth suddenlyandhesplutteredinquiteafranticmanner. "Uponmyword!"breathedMr.Quelch."Wingate!Proceed." "Comeon,Wingate!"yelledPeter."I'vegotsomemoreink." "Comeon,Gwynne!"howledJohnnyBull."I'vegotanothertomatoready." "Here'saspudforyou,Loder." "Stopthisone,Sykes!" Whiz!whiz!whiz! "Getonwithit!"roaredWingate,redwithwrath. Inquiteadesperateframeofmind:theSixthFormmenchargedatthedooragainwiththe Improvisedbatteringram.Breathlessandpantingandcrimson,theyrushed.Buttheydidnot reachthedoor.Fromthegap,achairlegwhizzedfromtheBounder'srecklesshand,andcrashed onLoder'sknee.Lodergaveawildhowlandstumbledover,draggingtheoakenformdownwith him. "Oh!"splutteredWingate,ashesprawledoverit. "Mandown!"yelledBobCherry. "Ha,ha,ha!" SykesandGwynnejumpedback,followedupbywhizzingmissiles.Wingatestaggeredtohisfeet catchingajetfromPeter'ssquirtinoneear,andapotatofromSquiffintheother,ashedidso,

whattimearipetomatofromBolsovermajorspreaditselfoverhisfeatures.Lodersprawled, yelling,andclaspingananguishedknee. "Oh!Ow!Oh!"yelledLoder."Myknee!Ow!Oh!"Hescrambledup,stillhuggingthatknee. "Haveanother,Loder!"shoutedtheBounder."Hereitcomes!" Loderdidnotwaitforit.Hemadeaboundalongthepassagetogetoutofrange.Andhedidnot comeback. "Wingate!"articulatedMr.Quelch.Hestaredattheshattereddoor,andatthreepantingbattered prefects.Mr.Quelchhadhesitatedbeforeadoptingthesedrasticmeasureswiththerebels:buthe hadhadnodoubtthat,onceadopted,theywouldbesuccessful.Butsuccessdidnotseemtobe smilingonthem!Loderwasgone,andtheremainingthreedidnotseeminahurryto recommence. "Isay,youfellows,"cameanexcitedsqueakfromtheRag."Isay,giveafellowroom!I'vegota packetofpeppertochuckatthem!" Thatdidit! Wingate,Gwynne,andSykes,asifmovedbythesamespring,shotawaydownthepassage.They hadfacedinkpots,squirts,potatoes,tomatoes,chunksofcoalbutapacketofpepperseemed morethantheywanted. "Ha,ha,ha!"cameayellfromtheRag."GoitBunter." "Goit,youfierceoldporpoise!"gaspedBobCherry."Holdonthey'regone!"exclaimedHarry Wharton."LetHenryhaveit!"shoutedtheBounder. "Shutup,Smithy!" "Rot!Handittome,BunterandI'll." Mr.Quelchwalkedawayratherhastily. UPTOCOKER! THISisprettythick!"saidHoraceCoker. CokermadethatremarktoPotterandGreene,intheirstudyintheFifth.Hesatwithafrowning brow,rubbinghisnose,wheretwingeslingered.Coker'snosehadnotquiterecoveredfromthe effectsofthepotatothathadlandedonitearlythatmorning:Ithadalingeringpaininitandlike Marian'sintheballaditwasredandraw. "Eh?"saidPotter,glancinground. "What?"mumbledGreene,throughamouthfulofriperedapple. PotterandGreenewereHoraceCoker'sloyalchums:buttheydidnotalwaysseekhissociety immediatelyafterclass.Cokerratherpridedhimselfonbeingoneofthosestrong,silent charactersandhisconversationwaspracticallyendless.Oftentoooftenitwasinstructive. PotterandGreenefrequentlyfeltthatitwaspossibletohavetoomuchofagoodthing. Onthepresentoccasion,however,theyhadcomeuptothestudywithCokerinveryfriendlyand cheerfulmood.CokerhadhadahamperofapplesandpearsfromhisaffectionateAuntJudy.Coker wasanopenhandedfellowwhathehadwasalwaysatthedisposalofhisfriends.Sotherewas Potter,eatingpears,andGreene,eatingapples:whileCokersatandreflectedonmuchmore seriousthingstowit,thebarringoutintheRemove,whileherubbedhistwingeingnose. "Isay,it'sprettythick!"snappedCoker. "Oh!"saidGreene."Well,itdoeslookabitweird,oldman." UnawarethatCokerwasthinkingabouttheparlousstateofaffairsatGreyfriarsSchool,andseeing himrubbinghisdamagednose,GreenenaturallysupposedthatCoker'sremarkreferredtothe nose. "Abitthick,perhaps,"agreedPotter,fallingintothesameerrorasGreene."Butitwillgetbetter, youknow." "Itdoesn'tlooklikegettinganybetter,"saidCoker,stillpursuinghisowntopic."Lookstomelike gettingworse.It'sadisgracetotheschool." "Oh,no!Notsobadasthat,oldchap,"remonstratedPotter."Itlooksprettybad,Iknow,but."
CHAPTERXXVII

"Abitstartling,perhaps,"saidGreene,"but." "Isayit'sadisgracetoGreyfriars,"saidCoker,inhismostdictatorialmanner."Ifyoufellowscan't seeit." "Oh,wecanseeitallright!"saidPotter,staring. Really,itwasimpossiblenottoseeCoker'snose.Itleapedtotheeye. "Youfellowsdon'tseemtofeelitasIdo,"gruntedCoker. PotterandGreenemadenorejoindertothat.Theyconsideredthattheycouldhardlybeexpected tofeelthedamagetoanosesomuchastheownerthereof. "Ifeelitagooddeal,"saidCoker. "IIsupposeyouwould,oldfellow,"saidPotter."Isupposeit'sabitpainful." "It'smorethanthat,"snappedCoker."Yousee,Ihappentohavethegoodoftheschoolatheart." PotterandGreenewondereddizzilywhatthegoodoftheschoolhadtodowithCoker'snose. "AndIcantellyou,"pursuedCoker,"thatit'stoojollythick,andthatitwon'tdo.Quelchcan'tdo anythingaboutit,that'sprettyplain." "Quelch!"stutteredPotterandGreene.Theyalmostforgottheapplesandpearsintheir bewilderment.AformmasteratGreyfriarshadmanydutiesonhishands,butdoctoringaFifth Formman'sdamagednosecertainlywasnotoneofthem."DidyousayQuelch?" "It'suptohim,"yappedCoker,impatiently. "Isit?"stammeredPotter,blankly. "Ofcourseitis.Theprefectscantdoanything,either.Itlookstomeasifnobodycandoanything aboutitunlessIdo." "Well,afterall,it'syournose,oldchap,"pointedoutGreene. "Mywhat?"ejaculatedCoker. "Nose." "Who'stalkingaboutmynose?"roaredCoker. "Eh!Weren'tyou?" "Yousilly,blithering,footlingfathead,wharreryoumean?I'mtalkingaboutthatrowthatsgoing onintheRag!"bawledCoker. "Oh!"gaspedPotterandGreene.Itdawneduponthemthattherewasamisunderstanding. "I'mnottalkingaboutmynose,youhowlingass.Blowmynose,"snortedCoker." "Dashitall,youcandothatforyourself,Coker,saidGreene. "I'lllendyouahanky,Ifyoulike,saidPotter. "Youyouyou."WordsandbreathseemedtofailHoraceCoker,andheglaredatPotterand Greeneasifhecouldhavebittenthem. PotterwinkedatGreene,withtheeyefurthestfromCoker,andtheyresumedoperationsonthe applesandpears.HowtherowintheRagconcernedCokeroftheFifthinanyway,wasquitea mysterytothem.ButtheywerewillingtoletoldHoracerunonifheliked.Cokerwasstandingthe applesandpears,andtheywerestandingCokerthatwasonlyfair. "Yousilly,blithering,footling,foozling,ditheringdunderheads!"Cokerfoundhisvoiceagain."If youcan'ttalksense,shutup.Itellyouitstoothick,andit'sadisgracetotheschool:andifyou cantseeit,takemywordforit.Quelchcan'tdoanything,andtheprefectscan'tandIthinkit'sup tome,see?" "You'renotaprefect,oldbean,"remarkedPotter. "It'snotmyfaultthattheHeadhasn'tsenseenoughtopickprefectsfromourform,"snapped Coker."Idon'tmeanthatyoufellowswouldbeanygood,ofcourse.ButIshouldmakearather betterprethanWingateorGwynneorSykes,Ifancy." "Whatafertilefancy!"murmuredPotter. "Eh?Whatdidyousay,Potter?" "Isaidcarryon,oldchap." "Well,I'vegotthegoodoftheschoolatheart"saidCoker."I'mnotlettingthisgoon.We'regoingto putastoptoit.IwillshowtheSixththatthey'renotthebigpanjandrumstheyfancytheyare, whenFifthFormmendowhattheyjollywellcan'tdo,see?I'mnotlettingabunchoffagskeepup thiskindofcheek.I'vegotashortwaywithfags,asthey'llfind.I'mhandlingthisaffair,asnobody elsecan."

"MorePowertoyourgiddyelbow,oldman,"saidPotter,selectinganattractiveripepear. "Howareyougoingtodoit?" "Bystrategy,"explainedCoker."Youfellowsaregoingtohelp." "Oh!Arewe?"askedPotterandGreene.Theyseemedtodoubtit. "Yes.I'vegotitallcutanddried.I'vebeenthinkingitoutwhileyoufellowshavebeenscoffing thoseapples.Whatthisneedsisstrategywell,I'vegotaheadforstrategy.There'samoboffags bungedintheRag,withthewindowsboarded,andthedoorwedged.ThoseSixthFormdudstried toburstinthedoortoday,whilewewereinclassyouheardtherowtheymade.Whatluckdid theyhave?Theysmashedabigholeinthedoorandthatletthefagsgetatthem,chuckingthings andtheyweredrivenoff.Pah!"Cokergaveasnortofcontempt. "Well,Ivehadalookatittheresahugegapinthedoor.Bigenoughforafellowtopushthrough see?" "Oh!" "That'sthewayin,"saidCoker. "Oh!" PotterandGreeneexchangedanexpressivelook.IfCokeroftheFifthhadafancyforputtinghis headthroughagapinadoor,intoalion'sden,PotterandGreenedidnotsharethatfancyinthe veryleast. "Lookhere,itain'tourbusiness,"saidPotter. "Thatwilldo,Potter." "Butlookhere!"urgedGreene. "Don'tjaw,Greene." Potter,witharegretfulglanceatthehamper,turnedtothedoor. "Comeon,Greeney,"hesaid."We'vegottoseeoldBlundellinthegamesstudy,youknow." "Oh!Yes!Quite!"saidGreene. "Don'tgo!"roaredCoker."Ifyoufellowswantmetobangyourheadstogether,you'veonlygotto walkoffwhileI'mtalkingtoyou." "We'vegottoseeBlundellaboutthefootball." "Shutupandlistentome.YoufellowswillgoroundtothewindowoftheRag,anddrawofftheir attention,saidCoker."Ipushinthroughthatgapinthedoorwhiletheirbacksareturned,see?" "Oh!"saidPotterandGreene. TheyrealisedthatCokerdidnotrequirethemtofollowhisheroicleadthroughthegapinthedoor intothelionsden.NeitherPotternorGreenedaredtobeaDaniel,tothatextent.ButifCokeron hisownchosetounderstudyDaniel,theyhadnoparticularobjectiontourge. "Gotit?"askedCoker."That'sstrategysee?YoudrawthemofftothewindowIpushinthrough thatgap,andonceI'minside,I'llhavethedooropeninabraceofshakes.Quelchwillsimplyhave towalkin.Andthatwillbethat." PotterandGreenehadstrongdoubtswhetherthatwouldbethat.Buttheydidnotarguewith Coker.ArgumentrolledoffCokerlikewateroffaduck.Horaceproceededtoexpoundhismasterly strategyfurther. "Youtwogouptothewindow.Youmakeanattackonthatsidenotthatyou'llbeabletohandle themofcourse,"saidCoker,withadisdainfulsniff."Idon'texpectthat!You'lljustkeepthembusy whileIdothejob.Chuckthingsatthem,see,andthey'llchuckthingsbackIsupposeyouaint afraidofbeingpeltedwithspudsandinkpotsandthings. "Notexactlyafraid,"saidPotter,thoughtfully."Butasamatterofchoice,I'drathernotbepelted withspuds,andinkpotsandthings,ifyoudon'tmind," "Idomind,"saidCoker. "ButIsay,LoderoftheSixthisstilllimpingfromacoshtheygavehimontheknee,"expostulated Greene. "I'veaskedyounottojaw,Greene,"saidCokertestily."Youfellowsarelikeasheep'sheadall jaw.Shutupaminute.Youpeltthem,andtheypeltyou,andthatwillkeepthewholegangbusyat thewindow,givingmeachancetocarryoutmystrategy.Ifyougetafewhardknocks,nevermind. Don'tmakeafussabouttrifles." "Oh!"

 HoraceCokergavehisnoseafinalrubandrosefromhischair. "Nowyou'vegotitclear,comeon!"hesaid."I'vetoldyouwhattodoandallyou'vegottodois, doit!Comeon,anddon'tjaw." Cokerledthewayfromthestudy.PotterandGreene,havingexchangedaprivatewinkbehind Coker'sburlyback,followed. Theydidnot"jaw"astheywent.Therewasreallynoneed,asCokerdidenoughforthree.Coker wasstillgivingtheminstructions,whentheyarrivedatthedoorwayoftheHouse. "Now,cutout,"saidCoker."CutroundtothewindowoftheRag,andbegin.Anddon'tbefunkyofa fewspudsandinkpots,"addedCoker,sarcastically."You'renotmadeofputty,Isuppose?I'llbe readyatthedoor,bythetimeyougetroundtothewindow.Cuton." PotterandGreeneobedientlycuton,asdirected.Butoutinthequadrangle,outofHoraceCoker's view,theystopped,andlookedatoneanother.Pottersmiled.Greenegrinned. "LikeagamekneelikeLoder's,Greeney?"askedPotter. "Notawholelot,"answeredGreene. "Oramurphyinyoureye,oraninkpotinyourear?" "Idon'tthink!" "I'mnotexactlyyearningforanythingofthatkind,myself,"remarkedPotter."Lovelyafternoonfor awalk!Whataboutit?" "Let's!"chuckledGreene. Itwasaniceautumnafternoon,andPotterandGreenequiteenjoyedtheirwalk.Andwhilethey strolledbyfieldandmeadow,theywonderedidlyhowHoraceCokerwasgettingonwiththe Remove.
CHAPTERXXVIII

STUCK!

HORACECOKERtrodontiptoe. Herealisedthatitwasnecessarytobecautiousashe.approachedthedooroftheRag. ItirkedCoker,asaseniorman,toexercisecautionindealingwithamobofjuniors.Cokerwasa heavyhandedfellow,andhehad,asheoftensaid,ashortwaywithfags.Still,itwasclearthatifa swarmofRemovitesmannedthatgapinthedoorbeforeCokercouldpushin,itwaslikelyto proveacaseof"noadmission".Cautionwasindicated:andCokerwasascautiousasitwasinhis naturetobe,whichwasaboutascautiousasarhinoceros.OntiptoeCokermadeasmuchnoiseas anyordinaryfellowtrampingonfiatfeet.ButcircumstancesfavouredCokerfortherewasadin goingonintheRag,whichquitedrownedanynoisemadebyCoker'sextensivefeet. Therewasnobodyinthepassage.StrictordershadbeenissuedthatnoGreyfriarsfellowwasto enterthatpassage,inordertocutoffcommunicationbetweentherebelsandtherestofthe school.Anyintruderthereinwasliabletobewhoppedbyaprefectifspotted.Cokerwasawareof theedict,butCokerwasgoingtobethemeansofbringingarebelliousformbacktoobedience: whichnodoubtjustifiedaspotofdisobedienceonhisownaccount. Ontiptoe,HoraceCokerdrewnearthedoor,inwhichthegreatgapyawnedwide.Onhisrugged facedawnedagrin.Therewasatramplingoffeet,andabuzzingofvoices,intheRag.Cokerhadno doubtthatPotterandGreene,atthewindow,weredrawingofftheattentionofthedefenders,in accordancewithhisdeepstrategicalplanneverdreamingthathisloyalpalshadgoneforawalk outofgatesandlefthimtodaretobeaDanielonhisown. Inpointoffact,thedinintheRaghadquiteanothercause.Boxingwasgoingon.TheFamousFive hadtheglovesonopposedtoSmithy,Squiff,TomBrown,RobertDonaldOgilvy,andMarkLinley: Otherfellowssurroundedthedoughtychampionsinaring,encouragingthemwithadvice,cheers, andyells.OnlyonefellowintheRagwasinastateofrepose.Thatwasaveryfatfellow,sprawled inanarmchair. Cokerreachedthedoor.

Morecloselyinspected,thegapinthebigoakdoordidnotlookinviting.Itwaslargelarge enoughforevenaburlyfellowlikeCokertopushthrough.Butitsedgeswerefearfullyjagged, likelytobequiteunpleasanttoafellow'sribsashepushedin.Cokerdidnotwhollylikethelookof it. Buthehadnotcometheretoretreat.Hedidnothesitate.Cokerwasnotthemantohesitate.He drewonedeepbreathandplunged. HeadandshoulderswentCokerthroughthegap. Hismanlychestscrapedonjaggedsplinteryedges,painfully.Heplungedonheedlessofpangs. Almostinthetwinklingofaneye,halfCokerwasthrough.. Buttheotherhalfdidnotfollowsoquickly.Itdidnotfollowatall.Ajaggedpointofbrokenwood impaledhiswaistcoat.ItalmostimpaledCoker.Itheldhimlikeahookedfish. "Ooooh!"gaspedCoker,wrigglingfrantically. "Hallo,hallo,hallo!"cameasuddenroarintheRag. "Coker!"yelledSkinner. "ThatFifthFormfathead!"roaredJohnnyBull. "Isay,youfellows." "Baghim!"yelledtheBounder. Theboxingmatchstoppedontheinstant.OnlyhalfofCokertheupperhalfwasvisibleinside theRag.Coker'sburlyformfilledthegapinthedoor,andhislowerhalfwasstilloutside,invisible. ButtherewasplentyofCokertobeseen,andalleyesintheRagturnedonhim. Boxingglovesweretossedaside,andthewholecrowdofRemovitesrushedtothedoor. Cokermadeafranticeffort. Therewasatearing,rendingsound.Buthiswaistcoatstillheld.Hewashooked,andhestayed hooked. Butforthatunforeseenmishap,nodoubtCokerwouldhaveplungedrightintotherebels' stronghold:thoughwhatwouldhavehappenedthenwouldnotperhapshavegoneaccordingto hisstrategicalplans. Asitwas,Cokerwasheld."Collarhim!" "Punchhim!" "Wallophim!" "Cheekyassgivehimbeans!" "Oh!Ow!Oooogh!"splutteredCoker.Hisfacewascrimson,andhegurgledforbreath."Ow!Hands off,youyoungscoundrels!Leggo!Leavegomyears,willyou?Ow!wow!You'repullingoutmy hair!Yarooop!" "Ha,ha,ha!" "Shovehimout!" "Oh,scissors!"gaspedCoker.AllroundhimtheRemovitesswarmed,clutchingathim,pullinghis ears,smackinghishead,grabbinghishair."Ow!Keepoff!I'llspiflicateyougroooh!I'llpulverise youwooogh!Oh,greatpip!Wow!" "Ha,ha,ha!" "Leggo!"shriekedCoker."There'sasplinterstickinginmytummy." "Ha,ha,ha!" "Oh,crikey!Ow!Wow!" Cokerstruggledandwriggledfrantically.Cokerwasnottheman,ifhecouldhelpit,toretreat.But itdawnedonCoker'spowerfulbrainthatthiswasnotgoodenough:andthatevenifhesucceeded inwrigglingintotheRag,inthemidstofthatshoutingswarmofjuniorshislaststatewaslikelyto beworsethanhisfirst.Mattershadnotgoneaccordingtoplanandretreatwasindicated.Coker, inawildlyconfusedandbewilderedstate,hiscollarandtietornout,hishairatangledmop,his ruggedfacelikeafreshlyboiledbeetroot,retreatedwrigglingbackinsteadofforward. Butitbootednot.Thesharppointofjaggedwoodthatimpaledhiswaistcoathadprevented advanceandnowitpreventedretreat.Hewriggledandwrenched,andwrenchedandwriggled, invain.Hecouldnotgetoutanymorethanhecouldgetin.Hewasafixtureinthegapinthedoor.

"Oh!Ow!"roaredCoker."Willyouleaveoffsmackingmyhead,youyoungdemons?Yarooh!Will youleaveoffpullingmyears.Whooop!" "Ha,ha,ha!" "Haven'tyouhadenough,Coker?"askedHarryWharton,laughing."We'rekeepingthisuptillyou go,youknow." "Getout,youFifthFormfathead!"saidBobCherry. "I'mpullingyourearssolongastheyreinreach. "Ican'tgetout!"yelledCoker."I'mstuck!" "Oh,myhat!" "Ha,ha,ha!" TherewasaroarofmerrimentintheRag.Thejuniorsrealisedthattheirlatestassailantwas tryingtoretreat,butcouldn't.Mercifully,theyceasedtosmackCokersheadandpullhisears. TheycrowdedroundwatchingCokersstruggles,withyellsoflaughter. Cokerstruggledwildly.Outsidethedoor,hislonglegsthrashedtheair.Hestrovetojerkhimself loose,invain.AndeverywriggleandeveryJerkscrapedhimonthejaggededgesofthegapinthe door,andhebegantounderstandwhatitmustfeelliketobeskinned. "Oh!Ow!Oh!Ow!"bellowedCoker."Ha,ha,ha!"yelledtheRemovites. "Oh,crumbs!Oh,scissors!Wow!" "Ha,ha,ha!" Cokerwasstuckandhecouldnotcomeunstuck.Hecouldnotgetin,andhecouldnotgetout.He hadtoremainwherehewas,hisburlyformpluggingthegapinthedoor,fillingitlikeapicturein aframe.LikethefarmerofHythewhosatdownonascythe,hedidnothingbutwriggleand writhe.AndthecrowdintheRag,greatlyentertainedbyHoraceCoker'swildwrigglingsand writhings,rockedwithmerriment.

CHAPTERXXIX

PROUTISNOTPLEASED! "SCANDALOUS!"saidMr.Prout. "Shocking!"agreedMr.Capper. "Quelch'sboys!"saidMr.Hacker,bitterly. Thethreemasterswerestandingnearthecornerofthepassage,fromwhichaterrificuproar echoed.Itwasheardfarandwide,andithaddrawnthethreebeaksfromtheCommonRoom.It hadalsodrawnMr.Quelchfromhisstudy.PerhapsProutandCapperandHackerdidnotseethe Removemasterapproaching,astheymadetheirremarks.Orperhapstheydid!

"Thisdinthisuproarthisthishullaballoo!"continuedProut."Inallmyexperienceasa schoolmaster,IhaveneverOh!Isthatyou,Quelch?Idonotdesire,Quelch,toaddtoyour difficultiesinthepresentunprecedentedstateofaffairsastateofaffairswhichIthinkmayjustly bedescribedasunparalleledbutthisdinthisuproar." Mr.Quelchdidnotspeak,buthegaveProutalook.HackerandCapper,observingthatlook, tactfullyfadedaway.ThestateofaffairswasmostunpleasantforQuelch,andnodoubthis colleaguesfoundalittlerelishin"rubbingitin".ButQuelchwaslookingpositivelydangerousnow. Prout,however,wasmadeofsternerstuff.Hestoodhisground.Quelchappearedtobe understudyingRoderickDhu,ontheoccasionwhendarklightningsflashedfromRoderick'seye. ButProut,likeAjax,defiedthelightning. "IthinkImaysay,unparalleled,Quelch!IthinkImaysay." "Youmaysaywhatyouplease,Mr.Prout!"snappedtheRemovemaster."ButIhavenotimeor inclinationtolisten." "Really,Quelch!." "Pah!" "What?What?Didyousay'pah',Quelch?Uponmyword!"boomedProut,pinkwithindignation. "Quelch!Ifyourboysrefusetolistentoyou,asapparentlytheydo,Ishallspeaktothemmyself, andtrywhattheauthorityofaseniormastermayeffect." "Pah!"repeatedMr.Quelch,moreemphaticallythanbefore.AndhesweptpastMr.Prout,and turnedthecornerintothepassage. Proutrolledafterhim.Quelchhadbrushedhimaside,asitwere,likeanintrusivebluebottle.The masteroftheFifthFormatGreyfriarswasnobluebottletobebrushedaside. "Irepeat,Quelch!"trumpetedProut,asherolledupthepassageafterhisexasperatedcolleague. "IrepeatBlessmysoul!" Proutstared.Quelchwasstaring.WhatwasgoingonintheRagtocausethatoutbreakofuproar, Quelchdidnotknowhehadcometoascertain.Whateverhemighthaveexpected,andwhatever Proutmighthaveexpected,neitherofthemhadhadtheremotestexpectationofseeingtwolong legsstickingoutofthedooroftheRag,thrashingtheair. Theystoppedandstared.Theyhadaviewofanextensivepairoftrousersandtwolargefeet.It wasunexpectedalmostunnerving! "Goodnessgracious!"ejaculatedMr.Quelch. "Blessmysoul!"repeatedProut,blankly."Whowhatwhoisthat?Whatcanitmean?What." "Oh,crikey!"cameagaspingvoicefromtheotherendofCoker."Ooogh!It'sstickinginmyribs wow!" "Ha,ha,ha!"camearoarfromtheRag. "Isthatsomeonetryingtogetin,orsomeonetryingtogetout?"ejaculatedProut,staring. "Oneofyourboystryingtogetoutbackwards,Ithink,Quelch.Thatmustbeit." "Nothingofthekind!"snappedMr.Quelch.Quelch,ifnotProut,observedatoncethatthetrousers weretooextensivefortheLowerFourth."Itisaboyofanotherform." "Ihardlythinkso,Quelch.Theheadmasterhasgivenstrictordersthatnoboyofanotherform shallenterthispassageduringthecontinuanceofthepresentunprecedentedstateofaffairs." "Thoseordershavebeendisregarded!"snappedMr.Quelch."Thatiscertainlynotaboyofmy form." "Inthatcase,Quelch,itappearsthattheexampleofrebellioninyourformisspreadingtoother formsintheschool." "Toyours,nodoubt!"saidMr.Quelch,acidly. "What?"Proutjumped."Didyousaytomyform,Quelch?" "Idid!ThatisaseniorboynodoubtoftheFifthForm!" "Irepudiatethesuggestion."Proutdidnotmerelyboom.Hethundered,inhisindignation."Noboy inmyformwouldjoininthesedisgracefulproceedings.Noboyinmyformwouldcomehere,in defianceoftheHeadmasterscommands,tocommunicatewithjuniorboysinastateof insubordination.Iamthankfultosay,Quelch,thatnosuchdisregardofauthority,nosuch derelictionofduty,ispossibleinmyform!Irepeat."

"Oh,gum!Wow!I'mbeingpunctured!"howledtheoccupantofthegapinthedoor,wrigglinglike aneel."I'vegotsplintersstickinginme.Wow!" "Ha,ha,ha!" "PooroldCoker!" "Coker'sasticker,youfellows." "ThestickfulnessoftheesteemedCokeristerrific." "Ha,ha,ha!" Proutgasped.Quelchsmiled,sourly. "Coker,Ithink,isthenameofaboyinyourform,Mr.Prout,"hesaid,inhismostacidtone. "Obviouslythatisaseniorboy.ItappearsthatitisCoker,ofyourform,Mr.Prout." Mr.Prout'sportlyfacewasapicture. "Asitisaboyofyourform,Prout,whoisthecauseofthisuproar,Iwillleaveyoutodealwiththe matter,"addedMr.Quelch,grimly. "Oh!Ah!III"stammeredMr.Prout. Mr.Quelchwalkedaway.ForthefirsttimesincetheRemoverebellionhadstarted,Quelchlooked almostpleased,considerablycomfortedbytheexpressiononProut'sspeakingcountenance.He wentbacktohisstudy,leavingProuttodealwiththatboyofhisformwhowasthecauseofthe uproar! Proutstartedafterhim,andthenstaredatthetrousersthatpluggedthegapintheoldoakdoorof theRag.Hisplumpface,fromred,grewpurple.Obviouslynow,thehaplessyouthcrammedinthat gapwasaFifthFormboyaboyofProut'sform.HecouldnotberecognisedfromProut'ssideof thedoor,butitwasCokerCokerofProut'sformCokeroftheFifth! Intoweringwrath,Proutrollednearer.Heroared:"Coker!Isthatyou,Coker?" "Oh,crumbs!"splutteredCoker.Hecouldnotlookround:hismanlyformfilledthegap.Buthe knewthevoicethatthunderedbehindhim."Oh!Yes,sir!Oh,scissors!" "Whatareyoudoinghere,Coker?" "III'mstuckinthedoor,sir!" "Ha,ha,ha!"cameanotherroar. "Coker!Comewithme!Comeawayatonce!Ishallpunishyouseverely,Coker,forcomingherein defianceofyourheadmaster'sorders.Come!"boomedProut. "IIIcan't!"gaspedtheunhappyCoker."I'mstuck!" "Ha,ha,ha!" "Iorderyou,Coker,towithdrawimmediatelyfromthatorifice,andfollowmetomystudy! Immediately!"thunderedProut. Cokermadeadesperateeffort.Hewrenched,hewriggled,andhislonglegsflailedtheair.There wasasuddensplutteringgaspfromMr.Prout,asoneofCoker'swhirlingfeetcameintocontact withthewidestsectionofhisformmaster'scircumference.Proutwasstandingalittletoonearfor safety,withCoker'slonglegsinsuchastateofcommotion. Thud! "Ooooooooooh!"sputteredMr.Prout.Hestaggeredback,gurgling. "Oh,crikey!"gaspedCoker.HehadfeltthecontactthoughnotsopainfullyasMr.Prout."Diddid Ikicksomething?Waswasityou,sir?" "Ha,ha,ha!"shriekedtheRemovitesintheRag. "Ooooooooh!"Mr.Proutwasalmostwinded"Woooooh!Coker,youoooogh!Coker,Ishall urrrrggh!Ishallcertainlywurrrggh!Ishallcaneyouforthis,Coker!Ishalltakeyoutomystudy andgurrrrrggh!" "Oh,crumbs!"gaspedCoker. "PooroldCoker!"saidBobCherry,almostweeping. "Sorryyoubuttedin,oldbean?" "Proutsoundswaxy!"chuckledtheBounder. "Thewaxfulnessisterrific." "Coker!"Mr.Prout'sgaspingboomcamefromthepassage."Ifyoudonotimmediatelyemerge fromthatorifice,Coker," "Ican'tgetout!"howledCoker.

"Likemetogetahammer,andknockyououtlikeanail,Coker?"askedBob. "Ha,ha,ha!" "Unlessyouimmediatelyemerge,Coker,Ishallfetchmycane"boomedProut. Cokermadeanothertremendouseffort.Thistime,thehookedwaistcoatparted,witharending sound,andCokerslidoutbackwards,throughthegapinthedoor.. Mr.Proutgazedathim,ashestoodcrimson,panting,dishevelled,torn,rumpledandcrumpled. NeverhadProut'smajesticeyesbeheldamemberofhisformmsuchastatebefore.Hegazed andheglared. "Coker!Followmetomystudy!MuchasIregrettocaneaboyinmyformaseniorboyyou haveleftmenoalternative.Followme!" "Butsir!"splutteredCoker. "Thatwilldo!" "IIcameheretogetthatdooropen,sir!"gaspedCoker."IshouldhavedoneitifififIhadn't gotstuck." "Ha,ha,ha!" "Tryagain,Coker!"yelledBobCherry. "Followme!"boomedProut. HestalkedawayandCoker,breathless,totteredafterhim.AyelloflaughterfromtheRagfollowed themastheywent. CokeroftheFifthhadhadapainfulexperience.Anotherawaitedhiminhisformmaster'sstudy. Mr.Prout,ashesaid,regrettedthenecessityofcaningaboyinhisformaseniorboy.Buthedid notregretitsomuchasCokerdid.CokerwasstillregrettingitlongafterProuthaddismissedthe matterfromhismind. QUELCHSTRUMPCARD! "OH!"ejaculatedBobCherry. "What?" "Thepater!" "Phew!" ItwasSaturdayafternoon.MatterswerestillunchangedatGreyfriars.TheRemoverebellion showednosignofcomingtoanend.TherestofGreyfriarspursuedtheeventenorofitswaybut theLowerFourthwerestill"barringoutthebeaks",andseemedmoredeterminedthaneverto carryon.BillyBunter,infact,wasnottheonlymemberoftheformwhofounditmoreagreeableto loafabouttheRagthantoconstrueLatinwithMr.Quelch,wrestlewithmathematicswithMr. Lascelles,orchaseirregularverbswithMonsieurCharpentier. Onthisparticularafternoon,HarryWhartonandCo.,andotherfellowskeenongames,wouldhave beengladtogetout.TheywerebookedtoplaysoccerwiththeShellthatafternoon. Butfootballmatches,likelessons,hadtogo.TherewasnosoccerfortheRemovesolongasthe barringoutlasted."Rag"footballwasratherapoorsubstitute:buttheymadethebestofit. Anyhow,theywerenotgoingtogiveinnottillBobCherry'ssentenceofexpulsionwaswashed out.Thatseemedasfaroffasever. EvenBillyBunterhadgivenupthehopethatQuelchmight"getoverhistemper".Wheneverthe juniorshadaglimpseoftheirformmaster,hisexpressivecountenanceindicatedthathewasvery, veryfarfromthat.HarryWhartonandCo.hadnotgivenupthehopethattherealculpritmightbe foundout.Buttherehadbeennosuchrevelation.Andirksomeasthestateofaffairsmusthave beentoMr.Quelch,heseemedtohavefoundnomeansofdealingwithit.Therebelswerestill holdingthefort. Buttheywereverywary.Quelch,astheyknewonlytoowell,wasa"downy"bird.Soonerorlater, astheBounderremarked,hewouldproducesomecardfromuphissleeve.
CHAPTERXXX

Andnow,asBobstaredfromthewindowoftheRag,heguessedwhatthatcardwas.AndBob's ruddyfacegrewserious. Atadistance,dozensoffellows,inthequad,werestaringtowardstheRagwindow.Andtheywere staring,too,attwofiguresthatwereapproachingthatwindow.Bob'seyesfixedonthosetwo figuresindismay. Oneofthemwashisformmaster.Theotherwasastockygentlemanwithruddycheeks,grizzled hair,andamilitarystride.Itwas,infact,MajorCherry.Bobwasadutifulson,alwayspleasedto seehisfather:butjustthen,hecouldhavewishedthattheoldmilitarygentlemanhadstayedat homeinDorsetshire. AcrowdoffellowsjoinedBobatthewindow.TheCo.lookedasseriousasBob.Theyrealisedat oncethatthiswasQuelch'strumpcard.Bobhadnotgonehome,asscheduled.Sohisfatherhad calledforhim.QuelchhadsummonedhimfromDorsettoKenttotakehissonaway.Quelch,like Alexanderofold,failingtounraveltheGordianknot,hadcutit. "Oh,scissors!"groanedBob."Thatdoesit!IIsay,thepaterlooksprettyshirty,doesn'the?" "Theshirtfulnesslooksterrific,"agreedHurreeJamsetRamSingh,sadly."Theesteemedmajoris infuriated." "Rotten!"gruntedJohnnyBull. "IIsupposeyoucan'tstickoutagainstyourpater,Bob?"saidFrankNugent. Bobshookhishead. "Rot!"saidtheBounder."Quelchthinksthisisatrumpcardyoucanseethatinhiseye.Tellyour pateryouwon'tgo,Bob,andtrumpQuelch'strump,see?" "Bobcan'tdothat,"saidHarryWharton,quietly."Dontbeanass,Smithy." TheBoundershruggedhisshoulders. "It'srotten,"mutteredBob."Ifthepater'scomeforme,I'vegottogo.Afellowcan'tcheekhis pater.Quelchhasdoneus." MajorCherryarrivedatthewindow.HarryWhartonquietlyopenedthecasement.Theoldmajor glaredinatacrowdofseriousfaces.Therewasnodoubtthathewas"shirty".Hisbrowswere knitted,andhiseyesglinted.NeverbeforehadBobseenhishonouredparentlookingsosternand grim.Themajorseyesfixedonhisflushedface. TheRemovemasterstoodlookingon,withoutspeaking.HehaddonehispartinbringingMajor Cherryonthescene.Therestwasuptothemajor. "So,you'rehere!"rappedthemajor. "Yes,dad,"answeredBobmeekly. "I'veseenyourheadmaster.Heconfirmshislettertome.You'vebeenexpelledforadisrespectful trickonyourformmaster.What?" "Bobneverdidit,sir,"saidHarry. "Mysoncanspeakforhimself!"gruntedMajorCherry."Dr.Locketellsmethatyoudonotadmit youraction,Bob,butthattheevidenceisconclusive." "Idon'tadmitwhatIneverdid,"answeredBob"I'mstickingherebecauseI'vedonenothingtobe sackedfor,andmyfriendsarestandingbymebecausetheytakemywordaboutthat." Mr.Quelchcompressedhislips. "Thereisnodoubtonthesubject!"hebegan.MajorCherrytransferredhisglaretoQuelch. "Youhavealreadytoldmeso,sir,"hebarked."Iamnowheretolistentowhatmysonhastosay." "Youareheretotaketheboyawayfromthisschool,sir." "Thatdepends!"saidMajorCherry,grimly. "What?" "Ihavesaidthatthatdepends.DoInotspeakplainly,Mr.Quelch?Ordoyou,aschoolmaster,failto understandtheEnglishlanguage?" "Really,MajorCherry." "Kindlyallowmetospeak.Youdenytheactionthathasbeenattributedtoyou,Bob?" "Yes,father." "Andyourfriendstakeyourwordonthesubject?"askedthemajor,withaglanceroundatthe facesoftheCo. "Ofcoursewedo,sir,"saidHarryWharton.

"Yes,rather." "Theratherfulnesisterrific,esteemedsahib,"saidHurreeJamsetRamSingh,earnestly."Our respectablechumisincapableofdepartingfromthestraitandnarrowpathofridiculousveracity." TheBounderdidnotspeak.Butadozenothervoiceschimedin.BillyBunter'ssqueakwasheard withtherest. "Allthisisbesidethepoint,MajorCherry,"saidMr.Quelch,icily."Cherryofmyformhasbeen expelled,andyouareheretotakehimaway.Willyoukindlydirecthimtoleavethatapartment immediately?" Themajordidnotheed.Hisbrow,asgrimasever,wasverythoughtful,ashegazedatthecrowdof facesatthewindow. "Youbelieveme,father?"askedBob,hopefully. "CertainlyIdo." "Youarewelcometoyouropinion,sir,"saidMr.Quelch,tartly,"butthedecisionthatCherryshall leavetheschoolrestswithhisheadmasterwhohasdecidedthematter.Willyoukindlyremove himwithoutfurtherwasteoftime?" "No,sir,"barkedMajorCherry."Iwillnotremovehimwithoutfurtherwasteoftime.Iwillnot removehimatall." "Sir!Iinsist." "Youmayinsist,Mr.Quelch,asmuchasyouplease."Icameheretoascertainthefacts.Ihavenow ascertainedthem.Irecommendyou,sir,todothesame." "YouwilltakeCherryawaywithyou." "Ishalldonothingofthekind.Bob!" "Yes,father!"gaspedBob. "Remainwhereyouare!"barkedthemajor. "Oh!Yes!Rather." "Iapplaudyourfriendsforstandingbyyou.Iadvisethemtocontinuetodoso." "MajorCherry!"almostshriekedMr.Quelch. "ThatisallIhavetosay!Carryon,Bob!" "Whatho!"chuckledBob,hiseyesdancing. "Hear,hear!" MajorCherryshookhandswithhissonthroughthewindow,turned,andstrodeawaytohis waitingtaxi.Mr.Quelchstaredblanklyafterhim! "MajorCherry!"healmostroared. Themajordidnoteventurnhishead.Hesteppedintohistaxi,anditbuzzedawaytothegates.Mr. Quelchstaredafteritlikeamaninadream.Hehadplayedhistrumpcardandthiswasthe result! "Ha,ha,ha!"camearoarfromtheRag.ThevaryingexpressionsonQuelchsexpressiveface seemedtoentertaintherebels. Mr.Quelchstaredafterthetaxitillitdisappeared. ThenhestaredatthecrowdoflaughingfacesintheRag. "Nothingdoing,Henry!"chortledtheBounder. "Ha,ha,ha!" "Gohome,Henry!" Mr.Quelchsaidnoword.Hisfeelings,ashedeparted,couldhavebeenexpressedinnoknown language.Histrumpcardhadfailedhim,andtherebels,encouragediftheyneeded encouragementbythemajor'svisit,werecarryingon.Andhowitwasgoingtoend,now,Henry SamuelQuelchhadtoacknowledgethathehadnottheremotestidea. "ISAY,youfellows!" "Hallo,hallo,hallo!Enjoyinglife,Bunter?"
CHAPTERXXXI

WET!

"Yes,rather!"chuckledBunter. ThebellwasringingforthirdschoolonMondaymorning.Greyfriarsfellows,ofallformsbutthe LowerFourth,weregoingtotheformrooms.Manyofthem,astheywent,castglancestowards thebigbaywindowoftheRagandenvycouldbereadinmanyoftheglances.Toagoodmanyof thefellowsitseemedthattherebelliousRemovewerehavingahigholdtime,muchtobe preferredtoswottinginform.True,theywereriskingdirepenalties:butnopenaltiesseemedto haveaccruedsofar. BillyBunterblinkedfromthewindowthroughhisbigspectacles,andgrinnedalmostfromonefat eartotheother.Tobeabletolazeaboutwhileotherfellowswereatworkseemed,toBunter,a consummationdevoutlytobewished.Schoollifehaditsdrawbacks,intheshapeoflessons,and beaksandprefects,andprep,andrisingbell.Inabarringout,allthesespotsofbotherwere eliminated.LifewasworthlivingatGreyfriars,atlast.Withgreatsatisfaction,thefatOwlwatched fellowsgoingin,happilygladthathewasnotoneofthem. "Isay,youfellows,thisisallright!"saidBunter."LookatQuelchoverthere,talkingtoGosling. Looksshirty,doesn'the?He,he,he!Hecan'tdoathing."Bunterchuckled."WhocaresforQuelch? What?" TheFamousFivechuckled.Bunter,evidently,wasfullofbeans:ahappystatelikelytolastsolong asthe"grub"lasted. "Quelchislookingthisway,"saidtheBounder. "WhatisheconfabbingwithGoslingabout,Iwonder.Aretheyuptosomething?" "Whocares?"saidBunter,valiantly."I'dtellQuelchwherehegetsoff,assoonaslookathim. Chuckaspudathim,Bob." "Fathead!"saidBob. "Oh,really,Cherry!Isay,youfellows,we'rekeepingthisup,"saidBunter."Nosurrender,you know!Latinproseandmaths,ifwewereinclassthismorning.WhowantsLatinproseand maths?" "Youfatslacker,"saidHarryWharton."We'rekeepingitupbutnottogetoutofLatinproseand maths.We'vegottokeepituptilltheyfindoutwhosootedQuelch." "Oh!"BillyBunter'sexpansivegrindiminishedperceptibly."Iwouldn'tbotheraboutthat,old chap.Theythey'llneverfindthatout." "We'vegottocarryontilltheydo,ass."ThecaptainoftheRemoveknittedhisbrows."Whothe dickenscouldithavebeen?Therewasnobodyinthestudiesthatafternoon,andanyfellowmight havesneakedupandfixeduptheboobytrapforQuelch." "Anyfellowwhohadadownonhim,andjollywellknewthathewouldbecominguptothestudy afteranimpot!"grinnedtheBounder. BobCherrygavehimaglare. "Oh,chuckit,Smithy,"saidTomRedwing."Weallknowthatitwasn'tBob.Everymanheretakes hiswordaboutthat." TheBoundershruggedhisshoulders.ItwaslikeSmithytobeheartandsoulintherebellion,while hestillbelievedthatBobhaddonetheactforwhichhehadbeenexpelled. ButSmithywasabsolutelyaloneinthatbelief.Manyfellowshaddoubtedatfirstbutallhadbeen convinced.EvenSkinnerandCo.nolongerdoubtedthatamistakehadbeenmade.EvenFisherT. Fish,whowasalmosttoocutetobelieveinanythingatall,believedinBob.TheBounderkeptto hisownopinionallthemore,perhaps,becauseithadanirritatingeffectontheotherfellows. "MusthavebeenasmallerchapthanBob,tosqueezeoutofthestudyafterfixingaboobytrap overthedoor,"saidPeterTodd."Well,whatareyougrinningat,Bunter?Anythingfunnyinthat?" "Oh!No!Ofcourse,thechapwouldn'tstickinthestudyallthetime,wouldhe?"saidBunter, hastily. "NotwithQuelchcomingup,"saidNugent."Buthemighthavefixeditupfromoutside,standing onachair." "OrhemighthavebeenthetallestchapintheRemove,abletoreachupwithoutstandin'on anythin',"suggestedtheBounder,blandly.

"Lookhere,Smithy,"bawledBob."Ifyouwantyoursillyfacepushedthroughthebackofyoursilly head." TherewasashoutfromSquiff,atthewindow."HerecomesQuelch!" Alleyesturnedonthequadagain.Mr.QuelchhadleftGosling,andwascomingtowardsthe window.Thelookonhisfacewasthegrimmestever.Allthejuniorscouldread,inthatlook,that Quelchwasabouttomakeanewmovethoughwhat,theycouldnotguess. "Isay,youfellows,don'tletQuelchscareyou,"squeakedBillyBunter."Hecan'tscareme,Ican jollywelltellyou.Who'soldQuelch?" "Shutup,youfatass!" HarryWhartonopenedthecasement,ashisformmastertapped.Formmasterandformlookedat oneanother.BillyBunter,wonttoquailunderthegimleteye,staredatQuelchthroughhisbig spectacleswithoutturningahair.Quelch,sofarasthefatOwlcouldsee,couldn'tdoathing.So longastheenemycouldn'tdoathing,BillyBunterfearednofoe. "Goodmorning,sir!"venturedBobCherry. "Topofthedelightfulmorning,esteemedsahib!"murmuredHurreeJamsetRamSingh. Mr.Quelchdidnotdeigntoacknowledgethosepolitegreetings.Hisvoicewasasgrimashis countenanceashespoke. "Iamheretogiveyoualastwarning,"herapped."Ifyoudonotallleavethedayroomwithinten minutes,IshallgiveGoslinginstructionstoproceed.Ihavehesitatedtousesuchmeasures:but thereisnoalternative,unlessyousubmittoauthority.Goslingisnowpreparingthefirehosefor use." "Oh!" "Itwillbeturneduponyou,ifyoupersistinthismutiny,"saidMr.Quelch,coldly."Cherry!Goto Dr.Locke'sstudytheresttotheformroom,whereIshalldealwithyou.Youhavetenminutes." Withoutwaitingforareply,theRemovemasterturnedandwalkedaway.Heleftastartledcrowd behindhim.TheBounderwhistled. "Oh,crikey!"breathedBillyBunter. "Sothat'swhattheoldbeanhaduphissleeve,"saidVernonSmith."He'sthoughtthatoneoutover theweekend.We'regoin'togetwet,mybeloved'earers." "IIsay,youfellows." "Bunter'sgoingtogetawash,"remarkedJohnnyBull."Itwilldoyougood,oldfatmanthefirst you'vehadsincethisshowstarted." SkinnerandSnoopexchangedaglanceandstrolledawaytowardsthelobbyattheotherendofthe Rag. "Say,bigboys,Iguessthisiswherewecomeoutatthelittleendofthehorn,"remarkedFisherT. Fish. "Guessagain!"suggestedSquiff. "There'sGoslingwiththehose!"saidNugent.Gosling,atadistance,couldbeseenwiththefire hose,uncoilingitasheapproached.Thejuniorsknewthathose,andthepowerfuljetofwaterthat wouldshoottherefrom.Theyhadseenitusedagoodmanytimesinfiredrill,anddidnotneed tellingwhatitwaslike.GoslingcouldsweeptheRagfromendtoendwithawhizzingstreamof water."Wetoutlook!"saidBobCherry,withagrin.HarryWhartonshutthecasement. "We'restandinguptoit,"hesaid,quietly."Weareweis!"saidTomBrown. "Whatho!"saidtheBounder,emphatically."Quelchwon'tknockusoutwithaspotofHtwoO." "Nofear!" "IIIsay,youfellows."BillyBunterdidnotseemsofullofbeans."IIsay,weweshallget awfullywet.Supposesupposeweccccatchkikkikcold?" "Ifwekikkikcatchkikkikcold,weshallprobablysnissnissneeze,andbibbibblowournnn noses!"saidPeterTodd. "Ha,ha,ha!" "BlessedifIseeanythingtocackleat,"hootedBunter. "Lookhere,Idon'tjollywellwanttogetsoaked." "Nobodywantsit,Iimagine,"saidHarry."Butthat'swhatwe'regoingtoget.We'vegotnocover againstthat."

"SupposeweallstandbehindBunter,"suggestedTomBrown."Bunterwillkeepitoffthelotofus. He'swideenough." BillyBuntergavetheNewZealandjunioraglarethatalmostcrackedhisspectacles. "Yousillyass!"hebawled. "Ha,ha,ha!"yelledthejuniors. "Jollygoodidea,"exclaimedBobCherry,heartily."Youwereburstingwithpluckaminuteago, Bunter.Now'syourchance.Standuptoit,andwe'llallstandbehindyou." "Ha,ha,ha!" "Yah!"snortedBunter. "Rolloffintothelobby,oldfatman,"saidBob,laughing."Youcangetroundacornerthere.But we'vegottostanduptoit,youfellows.Ifwedon'tguardthewindow,we'redone.Lookthere." Hepointedtothequad.FromtheHouse,halfadozenSixthFormprefectsissued,withtheir ashplantsundertheirarms.TheyjoinedMr.Quelchinthequad. "Quelchisdowny,andnomistake,"grinnedtheBounder."Gosling'sgottowashusawayfromthe window,andthenWingateandCo.clamberinandthegame'sup.Quelchisn'tthinkingjustof givingusawash." Itwasallcleartotherebelsnow.ButtheFamousFivedidnotfalter,andmostoftheotherfellows stoodwiththem.BillyBunter,whosevalourseemedtohavecompletelyevaporated,rolledaway tothelobbyattheotherendoftheRag.Thecommunicatingdoorwaywaswideopen,thedoor havingbeenusedinfortification:butitwaspossibletogetoutofrangeofthehosethere,andthe fatOwlpromptlygotoutofrange.FisherT.Fishfollowedhim,andthentwoorthreeotherfellows. ButalmostalltheRemoveremainedwiththeirleaders.Itwascleartoallthatifthewindowwere leftundefended,thegamewasup.Somehowtheyhadtostanduptothisnewandunexpected formofassault. Mr.Quelchwaslookingupattheclocktower.Hehadgiventherebelstenminutestoevacuate theirquarters.Gosling,withacrustygrinonhiscrustyface,trundledthehosenearerandnearer. TheBounderselectedalargepotato,andwatched,waitingfortheancientporterofGreyfriarsto comewithinrange. TheRemovemasterlookedroundtowardstheRag. Timewasup!Perhapshehopedtoseeanemptywindow.Ifso,hewasdisappointed.Thewindow wascrammedwithfaceslookingout.Hisbrowsknitted. HemadeasigntoGosling."Proceed!"herapped. "Yessir." Whiz! Goslingwaswithinrangenow,andtheBounder'saimwasaccurate.Therewasasuddenfiendish yellfromWilliamGosling,asawhizzingpotatocrashedonhisancientnose. "Yooohoooop!" Goslingstaggered,lettinggothehose,andsatdownsuddenly.Hesatclaspinghisnosewithboth hornyhands,roaring. "Ha,ha,ha!"cameayellfromtheRag. "Goodshot!" "Mandown!" "Oh,lor'!"roaredGosling."Oh!Mynose!Oh!Ooogh!" Mr.Quelchutteredanexclamationofangryimpatience. "Getup,Gosling!Getupatonce." "Wow!Mynose!Ibelieveit'sdrovethroughthebackofmy'ead!Wow!" "Proceed!"almostroaredMr.Quelch. Goslingstaggeredup,andgraspedthehoseagain. Anotherpotatocaughthimunderthechin,andanotherinanancientear.Butheturnedonthe water,andapowerfulstreamshotfromthenozzle,directedatthewindowoftheRag. Crash!Itcame. "Lookout!"exclaimedHarryWharton. Thejuniorsjumpedbackfromthewindow,aspanesofglasscrackedandsmashedrightandleft underthetorrent.WatercamewhizzingintotheRag,splashinganddashing,streamingand

pouring,drenchingthejuniors,andsendingthemstaggeringunderitsforce.Thehosewasinfull playandtherewasnodoubt,astheBounderhadremarked,therebelsofGreyfriarsweregoingto getwet! TURNINGTHETABLES! MR.QUELCHlookedon,grimly. Therewerenofacesatthewindownow.ThemostdeterminedfellowsintheRaghadbeendriven backbythetorrentofwater. Gosling,realisingthatnomorewhizzingmissilesweretobefeared,ploddedonwardwiththe hose,playingitonthegapingwindow.Behindhimtheprefectsmarchedtheinfantryfollowing uptheartillery,asitwere.TheyweregrinningbutMr.Quelch'sfacewasveryserious.The measureshehadadoptedweredrasticverydrastic.Butitwasclearthatonlyverydrastic measurescouldendtherebellion,whichhadalreadylastedalmostaweek,andlookedlikelasting indefinitely,unlessverydrasticmeasuresweretaken.Still,Quelchcouldnotfeelveryhappyabout it.Hisconsolationwasthatsuccesswascertain. Hehadnodoubtonthatpoint. NearerandnearerploddedGosling,withthefullforceofthehose,dashingandsplashinginatthe window.NearerandnearermarchedtheSixthFormprefects,behindhim,readytoclamberinat thewindowwhenitwasleftundefended.Mr.Quelchfollowedthem,nothingdoubtingthatit wouldbealloverinafewminutesnow. FromtheRag,gaspsandhowlsandyellscouldbeheard. Exceptforthefewfellowswhohaddodgedintothelobby,everymaninthegarrisonwas drenchedfromheadtofoot.Thestreamofwaterwasincessant,shootinginatonecasementafter another,Goslingplayingitlikeafireman,tosearchouteverycorner.Watercrashedontheceiling, andfelllikerainitdashedonthewallsitfloodedthefloor,andeverynowandthentheforceof thejetcaughtsomefellowandsenthimspinning. Buttherebelswerenotgivingin. Neitherwasthewindowsoundefendedasitlookedfromoutside.BobCherryhaddroppedtothe floor,underthemiddlecasement.Hewassplashedandsoakedfromtoptotoe,butthejetpassed overhimthere,andcouldnotreachhimtillGoslingreachedthewindowandplayeditatclose quarters.AndtheCo.werequicktofollowBob'sexample.TheBounder,andSquiff,andsixor sevenotherfellows,joinedthem,crouchingjustbelowthelevelofthewindow.Otherfellowswere dodgingwildlyabout,orretreatingintothelobbyatthefarendoftheroom.ButHarryWharton andCo.werereadyfortheenemywhentheystartedclamberingin.Therewasatussletocome. "Oh,myhat!"gaspedBobCherry."Anybodyfeeldamp?" "Thedampfulnessisterrific!"gurgledHurreeJamsetRamSingh,"butthesurrenderfulnessisa bootontheotherleg." "Nosurrender!"growledJohnnyBull.Johnnyhadanexpressiononhisfacereminiscentofthe "tykeofhisnativecounty,warrantedtobitealiveordead.Werenotgoingtobebeaten." "Quelchiscomingout!"grinnedtheBounder. "Whatajollyoldstrategist!ButI'vegotachairlegreadyforthefirstheadthatpokesinevenif itsQuelch's." "Bygum,theplaceisswimming!"saidNugent."Hallo!ListentoQuelch!Theyregettingclose." Quelch'svoicewasheardfromthequad,nearathand;"Seethatnooneremainsnearthewindow, Gosling.Youwillturnthewateruponanyboyremainingnearthewindow." "Yessir!" "Youareready,Wingate,assoonasthewayisclear?" "Quiteready,sir." Thevoiceswereclose.Gosling,withthehose,wasjustoutsidethewindow.Gosling'snosewasred, andalittleraw:butthecrustygrinhadreturnedtohiscrustycountenance.
CHAPTERXXXII

Peeringin,hecouldseeadozenfellowsatthefurtherendofthelongroom,inadrenchedand wildlysplutteringstate.Grinning,Goslingplayedthehosefullonthem,anddrovethem, splutteringstillmorewildly,intothelobby. Thenheleanedintoseewhetheranywerenearerathand.Thegrinwidenedonhisfaceashesaw BobCherrycrouchingjustbelow,andtheotherjuniorswithheadsduckedunderthewindow level. "Ho!"ejaculatedGosling."Outerthat,youyoungrips!WotIsaysisthis'ere,you'ookit!" Heswungthenozzleofthehoseinatthewindow,leanedover,andturneditdownwardsonBob. "Oooooch!"splutteredBob,asthefullforceofthetorrentdasheddownonhim."Oh,crumbs! Woooch!" Goslinggaveacrustychuckle,andsweptthenozzletoandfrowithin,alongtherowofducking headsunderthewindow,rakingthemforeandaft,asitwere.Therewasachorusofwild splutters,andGoslingchuckledagain. Buthechuckledtoosoon. Bob,streamingwithwater,madeasuddenswiftspring,andsnatchedatthenozzleofthehose.He graspeditandwrenched. Hegotthefullforceofthejetagain,ashedidso:butheheldon,wrenchingwithallthestrengthof hisarm. "Goodman!"yelledtheBounder.Heleapedup,andhiscudgelcamewithaloudcrackacross Gosling'shornyhand. "Oh!"roaredGosling. Heletgothehoseunderthatswipe.Bobdraggedthenozzlefree,andturnedit,tobearonGosling. Thenextsecond,atorrentofwaterinthecrustyvisagehurledtheGreyfriarsporterbackward. "Gosling!"rappedMr.Quelch,angrily. Foramoment,theRemovemasterdidnotrealisewhathadhappened.Butthenextmomenthe knew,asthetorrentcameburstingfromthewindow. Goslingsatdown,splutteringandsputtering.OverhimsweptthetorrentfromthenozzleinBob Cherryshand,aimedattheprefectsbehindhim.Bob,standingatthewindowwithagrinningwet face,playedthefullforceofthehoseonWingateandCo. "Oh!"gaspedthecaptainofGreyfriars,asthestreamcaughthimintheface,andhetottered. "Goit,"yelledtheBounder. "Oh,goodman,"gaspedHarryWharton."Goit,Bob." BobCherrywasgoingithotandstrong.Forthemoment,theenemy'sartillerywascaptured,and itwasturnedontheenemywithdireeffect.Bobswayedthenozzletoandfro,sendingthe splashingtorrentintofaceafterface,theSixthFormmenstaggeringrightandleftunderit.Ina momenttheywerescattering,jumpingawayinanydirectiontoescapethewhizzingflood.. Wingatemadeaspringtograspatthehosetodragitaway.ButBobwasprompt;andthetorrent, crashinginWingate'sear,bowledhimoversideways,andhesprawledheadlonginfloodingwater. Onhim,ashesprawled,playedthestream.Itwastoomuchforanyfellowtostand,andWingate scrambled,spluttering,away.Theotherprefectswerealreadyscatteringoutofreach. Mr.Quelchstoodasifpetrified.HestaredatBob,nozzleinhand,grinningatthewindow.He staredafterthescatteringprefects. "GiveQuelchawash!"yelledtheBounder. "Shutup,Smithy!" "Givehimsome,Itellyou!Getcracking,youdummy!" Bobchuckled,butshookhishead.HeplayedthehoseontheretreatingSixthFormmen,drenching themfromtoptotoeastheywent. "Wingate!"gaspedMr.Quelch."Gwynne!Sykes!Seizethehose,anddragitaway.Uponmyword! Comeback!Whereareyougoing?Comeback,Isay!" ThedrenchedanddizzySixthFormmendidnotheed. LiketheguestsinMacbeth,theystoodnotupontheorderoftheirgoing,butwentatonce:anddid notstoptilltheywereoutofrangeofthewhizzingwater.Gosling,crawlingdizzilyafterthem,was helpedonfrombehindbyatorrentthatcaughthimintherear.Mr.Quelch,palewithwrath, graspedatthehosewithhisownmajestichand,todragitfromBob'shold.Atthesamemoment

theBounder,givingBobapushthatsenthimstaggering,torethenozzlefromhisgrasp.Thenext instanthehadturneditontheRemovemaster. "Oooooooooogh!"gurgledMr.Quelch,asthefloodcaughthim. "Smithy,youass!" "Chuckit!" "Collarhim!" HarryWhartoncaughtattheBounder.Smithyfendedhimoffwithhisleft,whilewithhisright,he keptthenozzleonitstarget.ThetorrentfairlybowledovertheRemovemaster,andhesat squelchinginaflood. Therewasasputterfromthenozzle,andthewatersuddenlyceasedtostream.Wingate,with morepresenceofmindthantheothers,haddashedawaytoturnoffthewaterattheotherend. Thewatersupplysuddenlyfailed,andtheBounderwasleftwithadrippingnozzleinhishand. Buthehaddoneenoughperhapsalittletoomuch!Mr.Quelchtotteredtohisfeet.Hedidnot evenlookattherebels.Gaspingforbreath,hetotteredaway,anddisappearedintotheHouse. Quelchwasinwantofatowellingandachange,morethananythingelse:and,heedlessof anythingelse,hewentinsearchofthem.WingateandCo.evidentlyfeltthesameneed,and consideredQuelch'sexampleagoodonetofollow:theydisappearedintotheHouseafterthe Removemaster. "Wewin!"gaspedBobCherry. "Thewinfulnessisterrific!Thewetfulnessisalsoconsiderable"murmuredHurreeJamsetRam Singh. "Whocares?"chuckledtheBounder."We'veputpaidtothem!DidyoufellowsthinkQuelchlooked atrifledamp?" "Ha,ha,ha!" Therebelshadwon.Astheystood,drenchedanddripping,andlookedroundtheRag,swimming inwater,theycouldnothelpfeelingthatitwasratherinthenatureofaPyrrhicvictory.Still, Pyrrhicornot,itwasvictory:andthatwasthat!

UNEXPECTED! "OH,crikey!"saidBillyBunter. HeblinkeddolorouslyroundtheRagthroughhisbigspectacles. SeldomhadthefatOwllookedsolugubrious. Onlythatmorning,BillyBunterhadbeenfullofbeans. Hehadrejoicedinexemptionfromlessons,andbeaks,andpre's,andprep,andrisingbell.Hehad beenpreparedtosnortwithscornattheword"surrender".Butintheafternoonachange,asthe poetputsit,hadcomeo'erthespiritofhisdream!ItwasnowadolorousanddismalfatOwl. Otherfellowswerelookingrathergrim.Theywerestilldetermined:buttheywerenotexactly enjoyinglife.Quelch'slatestmovehadfailed,itwastruetherebels,byluckandpluck,had defeatedtheenemy.Buttheblowhadtold,allthesameandtoldseverely. Almosteveryfellowhadbeendrenchedtotheskin. Eventhosewhohaddodgedintothelobbytoescape,hadbeensplashed.Theyhadhadthe satisfactionofdrenchingtheenemyalso.Butthe"enemy"onlyhadtogointotheHouse,towel themselvesdown,andchangetheirclothes.Therewasnochangeofclothesfortherebels.They bankedupafireinthebigfireplaceintheRagtodryouttheirclothes:theyrubbedthemselves dry.Butageneraldampnesslingered.Andtheirstrongholdfairlyswamwithwater. Therewasnothing"soft"abouttheRemove.Theycouldroughit.Nightafternighttheyhad campedoutcheerfullyenoughontheflooroftheRag,intheblanketsannexedfromthedormitory. Butnoweveryblanket,everypillow,andeverythingelse,waswringingwet.Aftertheclotheswere dried,avastarrayofblanketssurroundedthefire,steaming.Butitwasobviousthattheywerenot goingtodryoutinahurry.Andthefloorreekedwithwet.Theceilingandthewallsdripped.Every articleoffurniturewasinasoakingstate.EvenLordMaulevererwasdisinclinedtostretchhislazy

CHAPTERXXXIII

limbsinanyofthearmchairs.EvenBillyBunterpreferredtostand,andleanonthetable.And Bunterwasnottheonlyfellowwhodoubtedwhetherthebarringoutcouldcarryon,inthese dampanddirecircumstances. "Isay,youfellows,thisisawful,youknow!"groanedBunter."Isay,Ishallbecatchingacold." "Awful!"agreedBobCherry,solemnly."What'stobedone,youfellows,ifBuntercatchesacold? Nevermindifanyotherfellowcatchesacoldthatwon'tmatteratall.Willit,Bunter?" "Oh,really,Cherry." "Shutup,youfatfrump!"growledtheBounder. Smithywasnotinthebestoftempers,inthegeneralstateofdiscomfort. "Beast!"moanedBunter. "I'mfeelingprettyrotten,Iknowthat!"gruntedSkinner. "Well,you'reabitofarotter,oldscout!"remarkedSquiff,"sowhynot?" "Ha,ha,ha!" "Nogoodgrousing,"saidHarryWharton."We'vegottostandit.We'vebeatenthemthistime, anyhow." "Whataboutnexttime?"mumbledSnoop. "Sure!"saidFisherT.Fish."I'mtellingyouguysthey'llbepoppingupagain,surestthingyouknow. What'stostopthemfromwashingusoutagain,assoonastheywant?" Noonerepliedtothatquestion.Allthejuniorsknewthatthe"enemy"couldnotbeprevented fromadministeringthe"mixtureasbefore",ifthespiritmovedthemsotodo. "They'vegotthatdoggonedfirehose,"arguedFishy."They'vecutitbecauseyouguysheldonto thenozzle.Iguesstheydon'tneedanozzleonthepeskythingtogiveusanotherbigwash." "Weallknowthat,fathead,"growledJohnnyBull."We'restandinguptoit,allthesame." "Isay,youfellows,thisisworsethanLatinconwithQuelch!"groanedBillyBunter."It'sworse thanFrenchwithFroggy.Why,it'sworsethanmathswithLascelles." "Hadn'toneofyoufellowsbetterkickBunter?"inquiredLordMauleverer. "Oh,really,Mauly." "Goodegg!"saidTomBrown."Turnround,Bunter." "Beast!" "IjollywellwishwecouldspotthatblighterwhosootedQuelch,"sighedPeterTodd."Thatwould letusallout." BobCherryrubbedhisnose,thoughtfully. "It'sprettyplainthatthefellow,whoeveritwas,won'townupofhisownaccord,"hesaid,slowly. "AndIdon'tseehowthebeaksaretospothim,whenthey'renotevenlookingforhim." "Theysortoffancythey'vegottherightman!"grinnedtheBounder. "Oh,shutup,Smithy!"roaredBob."Ifyouweren'tsuchafibberyourself,you'dknowhowtotakea fellow'sword.That'syourtrouble." "Oneforyournob,Smithy,"saidFrankNugent,laughing. TheBoundershruggedhisshoulders. "Butlookhere,youmen,"wentonBob."Thisisgettingprettythick.We'vegotourselvesdry,more orless,buttheycanwashusoutagain,asFishysaid,assoonastheyjollywellchoose.Ifyou fellowswouldratherchuckitup,Icantakewhat'scomingtome." "Punchhishead,somebody!"saidLordMauleverer."You'retalkin'rot,Bob." "Therotfulnessofyouridioticremarksisterrific,myabsurdBob,"remarkedthenabobof Bhanipur."Astilltongueisacrackedpitcherthatgoeslongesttoabirdinthebush." "Don'tbeanass,Bob." Itwasageneralchorus.TheRemovitesweredamp,andtheywerefeelingneithermerrynor bright.Buttheywerenowherenearsurrender. BobCherrylaughed. "O.K.,"hesaid."IthoughtI'dmentionit." "Well,don'tmentionitagain,ass,"saidthecaptainoftheRemove."We'reinthistothefinish.It's uptothebeakstofindoutwhosootedQuelchandunlessanduntiltheydo,wekeeponwetor dry." "Hear,hear!"

"Isay,youfellows." "Shutup,Bunter.Timeforyoutogetonwiththecooking." "Blowthecooking!"yappedBunter. CookingwastheoneformofexertiontowhichBillyBunterhadnoobjection.Acookwasableto helphimselftoaseriesofsubstantialsnackswhilethecookingwasgoingon.Bunter,sofar,had founditquiteattractive. Butheseemedtohavelosthisinterestevenincookingnow.Therewasstillplentyoffoodinthe Rag:butfoodforonce,wasnotfillingBillyBunter'sthoughts,orthewholeextentofhishorizon. Campingonawetfloor,inadampblanket,withtheautumnwindblowinginatbrokenwindows, wasahorridprospect.ItworriedBunter. Really,andtruly,thefatOwldidnotwantBobCherrytobesackedforwhathe,WilliamGeorge Bunter,haddone.Hewasquiteearnestaboutthat.Ontheotherhand,itwasobviousto Bunterthathisowncomfortwasthechiefconsideration. "Isay,myfeetarewet!"saidthefatOwl,pathetically. "Andnobodyelse's?"askedVernonSmith. "Oh,really,Smithy."Bunterwasnotthinkingofanybodyelse'sfeet!"Isay,IIcanfeelpneumonia comingoninmylegs." "Ha,ha,ha!" "Oh,cackle!"howledBunter."You'dliketoseeafellowlaidupwithpneumoniainbothlegs,I daresay." "Well,it'snotthesortofthingyouseeeveryday!"chuckledBob. "We'vegottostandit,oldfatman,"saidPeterTodd. "Evenifyougetpneumoniainyourlegs,andhousemaid'skneeinthebackofyourneck." "Ha,ha,ha!" "Lookhere,supposetheyturnthewateronusagain?"yelledBunter. "Nosupposingaboutit,"saidVernonSmith."Theywillifwedon'tgivein.We'vegotitcoming." "Thenwhatarewegoingtodo?"demandedtheOwl. "That'saneasyone.Wearegoingtogetwet." "Andwetordry,we'restickingitout,tilltheyspotwhosootedQuelch,andsacktherightman," saidWharton. "Oh,lor'!"saidBunter,dismally. Thespotting,andsacking,oftherightmanwasnotaprospecttowhichBillyBuntercouldlook forwardwithmuchhappyanticipation! HedidnotwantBobsacked.Stillmore,hedidnotwanttobesackedhimself.Hewasfedupwith thebarringout,inthepresentdampanddismalcircumstances.Yetifitended,Bobhadtogo unlessBunterownedup.ItwasrottenallroundfromwhicheverangleBillyBunterviewedthe position,itwasjustrotten! Hesatwithagloomy,puckeredfatbrow,whiletheotherfellowstalked.Hecouldn'townupthat meantthesack!Iftherehadonlybeensomewayofowningup,andyetdodgingthe consequences! "Oh!"ejaculatedBunter,suddenly. Hegavequiteajump!Hislittleroundeyesgleamedbehindhisbigroundspectacles.Something hadcomeintohisfatmindsomethingstartlingsomethingthatmadehimcatchhisbreath. "Oh,crikey!"breathedBunter."Ifififitwouldwork!Ifif!" "Hallo,hallo,hallo,whatareyouiffingabout,oldfatman?"askedBobCherry,staringathim. "Oh!Nothing!IIwasn'tthinking." "Icouldhaveguessedthatone!" "Oh,really,Cherry!" "Lookout!HerecomesWingate!"calledoutTomBrown,asthetallheadofthecaptainof Greyfriarsappearedfromthequad. Therewasarushtothewindow.TheRemoviteswerereadytostanduptoattack.Butitwasnot anattack.Wingatewasalone,andhisfacewasveryserious.BobCherrygavehimacheerygrin. "Didyougetwet,Wingate?" "WasQuelchatrifledamp?"askedtheBounder.

"Ha,ha,ha!" "Youyoungasses,"saidWingate,gruffly."Thishasgottoend.Quelchisworriedaboutyousois theHead.You'veallbeendrenched,andthewholeplaceisreekingwithdampyoucan'tcarryon thispottygameanylonger." "We'reallright,oldscout,"saidHarryWharton. "We'recarryingon,anyhow.Bob'snotgoingtobesackedforwhatsomebodyelsedid." "HonestInjun,Iwasn'ttheman,Wingate,"saidBob. Wingategaveagrunt. "Whowasit,then?"hesnapped."ItwasaRemoveman.WhosootedQuelch,ifyoudidn't?Quelch wouldbegladenoughtofindouthismistake,ifhe'smadeone.Youknowthat.Who'stheman?" "Haven'tthefoggiest,"confessedBob. "Well,thisisgoingtoend,"saidtheGreyfriarscaptain."I'mheretowarnyouthatthewaterwillbe turnedonagainandyouwon'tgetholdofthehosenexttimeI'lltakecareofthat.You'llmarch outofthatroom,oryou'llbewashedout." "IIsay,youfellows"squeakedBunter. "Turnitonassoonasyoulike,Wingate,"saidHarryWharton."You'llfindthatwecanstandupto it." "Thestandupfulnesswillbeterrific." "We'reready!"roaredJohnnyBull."Comeonassoonasyoulike." "Isay,youfellows,"yelledBillyBunter."Isaygiveafellowroom!Isay,IwanttospeaktoWingate. Isay,Wingate."TheGreyfriarscaptainstaredatthefat,excitedfaceinthewindow."IIsay,I knowwhoitwas!" "What?"exclaimedWingate. "IIIjollywellknowwhoitwas,"gaspedBunter,"andandI'mjollywellgoingtotheHeadto tellhim!" BUNTERKNOWS! WINGATEstaredatBillyBunter. SodideveryfellowintheRag.Theystaredblankly. BillyBunterdidnot,asarule,fillaveryprominentplaceinhisform.Hisunimportance,really,was unlimited.Fellowsevenforgothisfatexistenceattimes.Andiftheyforgotit,theywerenever interestedinbeingremindedofit.But,foronceatleast,BillyBunterwasrightinthemiddleofthe picture.Hewasthecentreofattractionthecynosureofalleyes. Bunter,asitwere,hadthehouse! HissuddenandunexpectedannouncementthatheknewwhoitwasthathadsootedQuelch,took allbysurprise.NobodyknewwhoitwasandnobodyhaddreamedthatBunterknew. "Youfatvillain!"gaspedBob,staringathimblankly."Oh,really,Cherry." "Ifyouknow,whyhaven'tyouletonbefore?"roaredBob."You'veletthisrowgoonforaweek, nearly,andyouknewallthetime." "YouyouseeII"Bunterstammered. "Ifyoureallyknow,Bunter!"saidHarryWharton,doubtfully. "Haven'tIjustsaidso?"hootedBunter. "That'sevidenceagainst!"remarkedVernonSmith."Oh,really,Smithy." "Well,ifyouknow,howdoyoujollywellknow?"demandedPeterTodd."Meantosaythatyousaw whathappenedthatWednesdayafternoon?" "Oh!Yes!"gaspedBunter. "Youwereupinthestudiesthatafternoon?"askedFrankNugent. "Oh!Yes!" "Andwhyhaveyoubeenkeepingitdarkallthiswhile,ifyouknowwhothefellowwas?"roared JohnnyBull. "III."
CHAPTERXXXIV

"Gammon,"saidtheBounder."IfBunterknew,hewouldhaveburbleditoutlongago.Canhekeep hismouthshut?" "Beast!" "Lookhere,"Wingatebrokein,"ifyoureallyknowanythingaboutit,Bunter." "Oh!Yes!"gaspedBunter."Iknowallaboutit!That'swhyIwasbackingupBobCherry,you knowbecauseIknewheneverdidit." "Oh!"saidHarryWharton."Ifthat'sso,thataccountsButwhydidn'tyoutelluswhoitwas,you benightedbandersnatch?Youcouldn'tgiveamanawaytothebeaks,butyoucouldhavetoldus." "Andwe'djollywellhavemadehimownup!"growledJohnnyBull."We'dhavescraggedhimtill hecougheditup,afterhe'dgotBoblandedforit." "Yes,rather." "Thescragfulnesswouldhavebeenterrific,untiltheesteemedrottercougheditupfully,"said HurreeJamsetRamSingh."Thatwouldhavebeenadeadlycert." "That'swhyIIImean,ILookhere,youfellows,Ijollywellknowwhoitwas,andI'mgoing totelltheHead." "Youcan'tdothat,"saidHarryWharton."Youcan'tgiveamanawaywedon'tsneakinthe Remove.Butyoucantellus,andwe'llputittothefellowtoownup." "Andwe'llputitprettystrong!"growledJohnnyBull. "I'mgoingtotelltheHead,"persistedBunter."Tain'tsneakingI'mnosneak,Ihope!Didyou fellowseverknowmedoarottenthing?Iaskyou!" "Oh,myhat!" "Lookhere,ifyouknowthefellowsname,giveit!"snappedVernonSmith."Noneedtogotothe Headwe'lljollywellseethatthemandoesthatifitisn'tBobCherry." "Tain'tBobCherry." "Thenwhoisit?"demandedtheBounder,angrily."Iain'tgoingtotellyou.Iain'tgoingtotell Wingate.Iain'tgoingtotellQuelch!ImgoingtotelltheHead." "Youburblingowl,"saidSkinner."IfyouwanttotelltheHead,whycouldn'tyoutellhimbefore this?" "BecauseI'veonlyjustthoughtIImean."Bunterstammered."Lookhere,youfellows,Im goingtotheHead,nowI'vethoughtofadodgeIImeanII'mgoingtotheHead!Givemea bunkoutofthiswindow,willyou." "Doyoumeanthatyou'reafraidtogivethefellowsnamehere?"askedHarryWharton."Isthatit?" "Oh!Yes!" "Yousillyass,"saidBob."Doyouthinkwe'dlethimtouchyou?" "Oh!No!But." "Thenhe'shere?"saidNugent."ItwasaRemoveman,wasit?" "Eh!Oh!Yes." "BlessedifIcanguesswhoitwas,"saidHarryWharton,quiteperplexed.Helookedroundoverthe crowdoffaces."Iftheman'shere,hemayaswellownupit'sallcomingoutnow." "Betterforhimtoownup,thantowaitforBuntertogivehimaway,"saidSquiff."Mightgetoff easierifhedid." "Who'stheman?"askedBob.Buttherewasnoreplytothat. "Isay,Wingate!"squeakedBunter. "Well?"gruntedWingate. "Isay,willyoutakemetotheHead,ifIcomeout?NottoQuelch,mindIwanttogototheHead, notQuelch." "I'llcertainlytakeyoutotheHead,Bunter.Hopout." BillyBunterclamberedontothewindow.Therewasaboardnailedacrossthecasement,butroom forthefatOwltosqueezeoutunderit.Hesqueezedout,gaspingandsqueaking.TheRemovites watchedhim.NobodyapprovedofanyfellowgoingtotheHeadtogiveamanawaystill,itwas agreedthatifamaneverdeservedtobegivenaway,itwasthemanwhohadsootedQuelchand leftanotherfellowtotakehis"gruel".Insilence,theywatchedBunterwriggleout,andWingate givehimahandfromthewindowsilltotheground.

"Ooooh!"gaspedBunter,ashelanded.Heblinkedbackatthecrowdoffacesatthewindow."Isay, youfellows." "Comeon!"saidWingate.Hedroppedahandonafatshoulder,andmarchedBunteraway. Acrowdoffellowsinthequadstaredatthemastheywent.FromthewindowoftheRag,the Removestared,tilltheydisappearedintothedoorwayoftheHouse. "Well!"BobCherrydrewadeepbreath."That'sthat!" "Thethatfulnessispreposterous,"agreedHurreeJamsetRamSingh. "DoesBunterreallyknow?"saidPeterTodd,dubiously."Jollyqueerthathe'skepthismouth shutallthiswhile,ifhedoes.NotlikeBunter." "Notlikehimatall,"saidHarry."ButIthinkheknows!He'sgonetotheHead,anyhow.Hewill havetogivethefellow'sname,now." "Butwho?"saidNugent,blankly. "Goodnessknows." "Notyou,Smithy?"askedBobwithagrin. "Don'tbeanass!"growledtheBounder. "Oryou,Skinner?"askedNugent. "Thanksno!" ItwasapuzzletotheRemove,andtherewasabuzzofexciteddiscussion.TheBounderdidnot takepartinithestoodsilent,withadarkfrownonhisface.Smithyhadbeenintheforefrontof theschoolboyrebellionaskeenasanyfellowonthebarringout,becausehewasarebelby nature,andlovedtheexcitementofatremendousrowbuthehadnotdoubtedthatBobCherry hadsootedQuelch.Nowhehadtodoubt,whichwasirritatingtoafellowwhodidnotlike admittingamistake.Theevidencehadbeengoodenoughforthebeaks,andgoodenoughforthe Bounder.AndiftheguiltymanwasnotBob,whowasit?Bunter,itseemed,knewandhowdid Bunterknow?Thensuddenly,inaflash,itcameintohiskeenmind,andheguessedhowBunter knew. "Bunter!"heejaculated. HecameovertoBobCherry,andtappedhimonthearm. "Sorry!"hesaid. "Eh?"Boblookedroundathim."GotitintoyoursillyheadnowthatIwasn'ttheman,Smithy?" "YesnowIknowwhoitwas." "Oh!Youknowwhoitwas?You'retheonlymanherewhodoes,then.Whowasit?"askedBob. "Bunter!" "WHAT!"Therewasageneralhowlofastonishment. "Bunter,"saidtheBounder."That'swhyhe'sgonetotheHead.He'sthoughtupsomedodgefor wrigglingoutofit,Isupposehe'snotthemantoownupandtakehisgruel.ButitwasBunter! That'showheknows." "Oh!"gaspedBob. TheBounderhadnodoubt.Theotherfellowshadbuttheywouldnothavedoubted,iftheycould haveheardwhatwasgoingonintheHead'sstudyinthoseverymoments. BUNTERTRIESITON! TAP! Dr.Lockeglancedup,withafaintexpressionofannoyance.Mr.Quelchfrowned.Thattapatthe doorinterruptedaconsultationintheheadmaster'sstudy. Bothheadmasterandformmasterlookedextremelyserious.Bothofthemweretroubledin mind.Both,ofcourse,wereagreedthattherebellionoftheRemovehadtobeputdown,andthat allmeasures,howeverdrastic,hadtobeused,tothatdesirableandnecessaryend.Nevertheless, theywereconcernedfortheyoungrascals,muchmorethantheyoungrascalswerefor themselves.AsWingatehadsaid,Quelchwasworried,andsowastheHead. "Comein,"saidDr.Locke,alittlelessurbanelythanwashiswont.
CHAPTERXXXV

Wingateopenedthedoor."Bunter,sir!"hesaid. "Bunter?"repeatedtheHead,questioningly.Dr.Lockewas,nodoubt,awarethattherewasaboy intheLowerFourthnamedBunter.Buthedidnotrecallhimatthemoment.Lowerboysdidnot comeverymuchwithintheHead'smajesticorbit. "Bunter!"repeatedMr.Quelch,muchmorealertly. Quelchwasnotlikelytoforgetthatfatornamentofhisform. "Oh,lor'!"cameasqueakfromoutsidethestudy.Thevoiceofhisformmasterstruckdismayto thefatOwl.HehadcometoseetheHeadnotQuelch!IthadnotoccurredtohimthatQuelch mightbewiththeHead.Evidently,Quelchwas! "BunteroftheRemove,sir,"saidWingate."Hesaysthathehassomethingtotellyou,soI thought." "Quiteso,Wingate!Lethimenter,"saidDr.Locke.TheGreyfriarscaptainturnedround. "Getin,Bunter,"hesaid. BillyBunterblinkedathimthroughhisbigspectacles. NowthatheknewthatQuelchwasthere,heseemeddisinclinedtocarryon. "IIsay,Wingate!"hestuttered. "Goinatonce,Bunter." "IIdon'twanttoseeQuelch!II'llwaitabit,andandwow!Leggomycollar,willyou?" Wingatetwirledthefatjuniorintothedoorway,beforeheletgohiscollar.Undertwopairsofgrim eyesinthestudy,therewasnoretreatforBillyBunter.Hehadtomakeuphisfatmindtoit. Wingategavehimapushinhisfatback,tohelphimfurtherin,closedthedoorbehindhim,and departed. "Oh,crikey!"mumbledBunter. TheHeadgavehimaninquiring,notunkindly,gaze. Mr.Quelchfixedgimleteyesonhimthatseemedalmosttopenetratehim. Bunteravoidedmeetingthosegimleteyes.HeblinkedattheHead.Hewouldhavelikedtoforget thatQuelchwasthere. "Thisisoneofyourboys,Mr.Quelch?" "Yes:Bunterofmyform,sir,"saidMr.Quelch.Hiscloudedfaceclearedalittle.Thislookedtohim likethefirstsignofsurrender."Tellyourheadmasterwhyyouarehere,Bunter." "III"stammeredBunter."II'vegotsomethingtotelltheOldMan,sir." "What?" "IIImeantheHead,sir!"gaspedBunter. "Blessmysoul!"saidDr.Locke.Possiblyhewasawarethathewasthe"OldMan"toLowerboysat Greyfriars,buthehadnotexpectedtohearthattermusedinhispresence. "IfyoumeantheHead,youhadbettersaytheHead,Bunter,"saidMr.Quelch,inhisgrimmesttone.

"Oh!Yes,sir!IIdidn'tmeantosaytheOldMan,sirIImeanttosaytheBeakIImeanthe Head." "Cometothepoint,Bunter,"rappedtheHead."Ifyouhavesomethingtosaytome,youmaysay itbutbebrief." "Ititit'saboutthesoot,sir!"articulatedBunter."Thesoot?"repeatedDr.Locke,blankly. "Yes,sir.Thethesoot." "Isthisboywanderinginhismind,Mr.Quelch?"askedtheHead."Ifnot,whatcanhepossibly meanbyspeakingtomeaboutaboutsoot?" "Possiblyheisalludingtotheincidentoflastweek,sir,forwhichCherryofmyformwasexpelled," saidMr.Quelch. "Oh!Yes!Quite!Irecallthattherewassootinvolvedinthatepisode.Youwere,Ithink,covered withwithsoot,bymeansofadisrespectfultrickplayedinCherry'sstudy.Quite!" "IIknowwhodidit,sir!"gaspedBunter.Dr.Lockeraisedhiseyebrows. "Ifailtounderstandyou,Bunter.Theguiltypersonisalreadyknown,andhasbeensentencedto expulsion.Whatdoyoumean?" "Itititwasn'tBob,sir." "Bob?"repeatedtheHead."Whatdoyoumeanbybob,Bunter?" "BibbibBobCherry,sir" "Oh!RobertCherry!Iunderstand."Dr.Lockefrowned."Ifyouhavecomeheretobeimpertinent, Bunter." "Oh,no,sir!ButbutIknowitwasn'tBob,sir,becausebecauseIIknowwhoitwas,sir!" gabbledBunter."Iknewwhoitwasallthetime,sir." Dr.Locke'sfacebecameverygrave.Mr.Quelch'sgrewgrimmer.Headmasterglancedatform master. "Thereisnodoubtonthesubjectinyourmind.Mr.Quelch?" "None,sir." "Norinmine,"saidtheHead."Thefactswereclear,andspokeforthemselves.Yetifthisboyis acquaintedwithsomethingthatdidnotcometoourknowledge." "Ifailtoseehowthatcanbethecase,sir." "Iagree!Nevertheless,wewillhearwhathehastosay.Youassert,Bunter,thattheboyinquestion wasnotCherry,andthatyouknowthenameofsomeotherboywhowasresponsibleforthe incident? "Yes,sir,"gurgledBunter. "Yourealise,Bunter,thatifyoumakesomewildunfoundedstatement,youwillbeseverely punishedforseekingtomisleadyourheadmaster?" "Oh!Yes,sir." "Canyouprovewhatyousay?" "Yes,sir!" "Doyoumeanthatyouactuallywitnessedtheoccurrence?" "Yes,sir!"gaspedBunter."IIsawitallsir!IIIsawthewholething,sir." "AreyousurethattheboyconcernedwasnotCherry?" "Oh,yes,sir!Nnnothinglikehim,sir." "Blessmysoul!"saidDr.Locke.HeglancedagainatMr.Quelch."Thisisveryimportantiftrue veryimportant.Ifthisisthetruth,itwillpreventanactofunintentionalinjusticewhichweshould bothhavedeeplyregretted." "Undoubtedly,sir,"saidMr.Quelch,drily."ButIamboundtomentionthatthisboy,Bunter,isthe mostuntruthfulboyinmyform." "Oh,really,sir." "Somuchso,sir,thatIalmostdoubtwhetherhehassufficientintelligencetodistinguishthe differencebetweentruthanduntruth.Hisword,sir,isworthabsolutelynothing,"saidMr.Quelch. "Hespeaksofproof,"saidDr.Locke."Themostindubitableproofwillcertainlyberequired.You tellme,Bunter,thatyouknew,allthiswhile,thattheguiltypersonwasnotCherry?" "IIknewallalong,sir." "Haveyoutoldanyone?"

"Nnno,sir." "Andwhynot?Icanunderstandthatyouwouldhesitatetogivetheboysnametoamaster.Butin yourownform,therewasnoreasonwhyyoushouldnotdoso.Yetyoutellmethatyouhavekept itasecretallthistime." Yes,sir." "Andwhy?"demandedtheHead. "IIIwasafraid,sir!"stammeredBunter. "Oh!"saidtheHead.AgainheglancedattheRemovemaster.Thegimleteyeswerefixedon Bunter,asiftheywouldreadrightthroughthelayersoffat.Mr.Quelchgaveaslownod.Eventhe mostuntruthfulboyintheRemovecouldbebelievedwhenhestatedthathewasafraid!Quelch knewBunterwellenoughtoknowthatthatwasveryprobable! "Youwereafraid,Bunter?"rappedMr.Quelch. "Yes,sir!"groanedthefatOwl. "Youhavenoreasontobeafraidanylonger,Bunter."Mr.Quelchsstonewasalmostkind.Ifthis wretchedboyhadbeenfrightenedbysomeheftybullyinhisformQuelchwasthemantoseehim through."Yourheadmasterwillseethatyouareprotected." "Mostassuredly,"saidtheHead,withemphasis. Moreover,theboyconcernedwillbeimmediatelyexpelledfromtheschool,ifyourstatementis proved,"addedMr.Quelch. "Oh!"gaspedBunter. "Speakfreely,Bunter,"saidDr.Locke,benignly.Ifanactofinjusticehasbeendone,ifCherryis reallyinnocentinthismatter,bothyourformmasterandIhavenowishbuttolearnthetruth,in orderthatjusticemaybedone.Youhaveactedquiterightlyincomingtome.Youmaygivethe boy'sname,relyingonmyprotection,Bunter." BillyBunterblinkedathim. TheBounderhadtoldthefellowsintheRagthatBuntermusthavethoughtupsome"dodge"for wrigglingoutofit.Inthatsurmise,Smithyhadshownhisusualperspicacity.Bunterhad! Hisfatbrain,workingatunusuallyhighpressure,undertheawfulprospectofunlimitedand unendingdiscomfortifthebarringoutwenton,hadevolvedabrightindeedabrilliant scheme.Bunterwasobtuseindeedhisobtusenesswasquitephenomenal.But,likemayobtuse persons,hehadinhimaveinofcunning.ItwasthisestimablequalityinBunterthathadcometo therescue. Thinkingitout,intheRag,ithadseemedtohimasurewinner.Butinthepresenceofhishead master,andunderQuelch'sgimleteyes,hecouldnotfeelquitesosure.HtblinkeddismallyatDr. LockehedidnotdareeventoblinkatMr.Quelch.Butherealisedthatitwastoolatetobackout. Hehadto"tryiton"andhopeforthebest! "Come,Bunter."TheHead'stonewaskindandencouraging,ashescannedthefrightenedfatface. "IcanseethatyouhavesomethingtotellmethatIshallbegladtohear.Youneedhavenofear whatever.Youmayrelyabsolutelyonmyprotection,andyourformmaster's." "Certainly,"saidMr.Quelch."Speakout,Bunter." "III!"gurgledBunter. "Well?" "III'mafraid,sir.IIdaren't,"gaspedBunter."II'mafraidofwhatwouldhappentome afterwards." "Youfoolishboy,nothingwhatevershallhappentoyou,"saidDr.Locke."Surelyyoucanrelyon yourheadmaster'sassuranceonthatpoint?" "Oh,yes,sir,"mumbledBunter."IfyoutellmethatIshan'tbeworseoffforgivingyouthefellow's name,sir." "Idotellyouso,Bunter.Youhaveyourheadmaster'swordforthat,"saidDr.Locke,encouragingly. "Nowgivemethename,withoutfurtherwasteoftime." "Oh!Yes,sir!"gaspedBunter."Thethename." "Well?" "Itititit's." "Itiswhat?"

"Itit'smine,sir!"
CHAPTERXXXVI

O.K.

BILLYBUNTERgotitoutwithagasp. Afterthatgasp,therewasdeadsilenceintheHeadmastersstudy. Dr.Locke,hardlybelievinghisears,gazedatBunter. Mr.Quelch,withamostextraordinaryexpressiononhisface,gazedathim.Foralongmoment theyseemedunabletospeak:theyjustgazed. "Blessmysoul!"saidtheHead,atlast. "Uponmyword!"breathedMr.Quelch. "Bunter!DoIhearyouaright?Didyousaythatthenameisyourown?" "Yeees,sir!"gaspedBunter. "Itwasyou!"exclaimedDr.Locke. "Oh,crikey!Yes,sir!" "You!"Thegratingofawoodennutmegwasmusical,comparedwithQuelch'sgrindingvoiceat thatmoment."You!Youconfess,Bunter,thatitwasyouwhofixedupthesootoverthedoorwayof Cherry'sstudy,whichfellonmyhead?" "Yes,sir!"groanedBunter. "Andyoukeptsilent,andallowedanotherboytomeetyourjustpunishmenttobeexpelledfor whatyouhaddone." "Oh!No,sir!ItwasmethatstartedthebarringouttokeepBobhere,sirIIwouldn'tlethimbe sackedifIcouldhelpit,sirII." "Ifthatstatementiscorrect,itaddstoyouroffence,Bunter." "Oh,lor'!" "Bunter!"saidtheHead,inadeepvoice."Ifyourconsciencehasdrivenyoutoconfessthetruth, afteralltheharmyouhavedone,andthetroubleyouhavecaused,Iamgladofitbutitcanmake nodifferencetoyourpunishment.Theboywhowasguiltyofwhatamountstoanassaultupona memberofmyStaffmustinevitablybeexpelledfromtheschool.Iamglad,anddeeplyrelieved, thatCherry,whoisinnocent,isexonerated.You,whoareguilty,willgo." "IIsay,sir!" "Undoubtedly!"saidMr.Quelch,grimly. "But!"gaspedBunter. "Youneedsaynomore,Bunter,"saidDrLockewithawaveofthehand."Cherryisexoneratedby you;confession.Ishallpersonallyexpressmyregrettohim.Butyou,Bunter,youwhoplayedthis recklessanddisrespectfultrickonyourformmasteryouwhohavecausedsomuchturmoiland uproarintheschoolyou,Bunter,willbeexpelledinhisplace. YellfromBunter! "IIsay!Oh,crikey!Isay,sir,youpromised." "What?" "Youpromised!"yelledBunter."Iwouldn'thavetoldyouifyouhadn't!YousaidIshouldntbeany worseoffifIgaveyouthename." "Whaaat?" "Youyoudid,sir!Mr.Quelchheardyou.Didn'tyou,sir?Didn'ttheOldManIImeanthe Headdidn'thesayIcouldrelyonhisprotectionsirandandIshouldn'tbeanyworseoff?" "Goodnessgracious!"stutteredDr.Locke."IIcertainlygaveyouthatassurance,Bunter,butit wasinthebeliefthatyouwereafraidofsomeboyinyourform." "Iwasn't,sir!IIIwasafraidofyou,sir!" "Blessmysoul!" "AndandQuelchyIImeanMr.Quelch,sirthatwaswhatIwasafraidof.Andyoupromised, andandofcourseIIIknewIcouldtrustmyHeadmastersword,sirororIshouldnthave toldyou."

Dr.Lockeopenedhislipsandclosedthemagain. Mr.Quelchopenedhis,andhealsoclosedthemagain,contentinghimselfwithgazingatWilliam GeorgeBunterlikeaGorgon. Therewasanothersilenceinthestudy. Headmasterandformmasterexchangedglances. BillyBunterwaited,quaking,hisfatkneesknockingtogether.Hehadtriediton,andhebelieved thatitwouldwork.Butthesuspensewasawful. "Hem!"Dr.Locke,atlast,coughed."Mr.Quelch,whatdoyouthink?" Quelchechoedhiscough."Hem!IIthinkhem." "Igavetheboytheassurancehespeaksof,"saidtheHead."Itwasgivenundera misapprehensionbutitwasgiven." "Ititwas,sir." "Imustkeepmywordtothisboy,Mr.Quelch."TheHeadbreathedhard,andhebreatheddeep. "Thereisnoalternativetothat." Therewasnohelpforit.TheHeadknewit,andMr.Quelchknewit.BillyBunter,themostobtuse fellowatGreyfriarsSchooloranywhereelse,hadbeentoodeepforthemboth!Thewordofa headmaster,ofaDoctorofDivinity,oncegiven,wasfixedandimmutableasthelawsoftheMedes andPersians.Notforanyconsiderationwhatevercoulditbebroken.TheHeadknewitQuelch knewitandBillyBunterknewit.Thatwasthat! BillyBunterknewthathehadwon.Hewouldhavegrinned,ifhehaddaredtogrin. "Bunter!"TheHead'svoicewasdeep."Youwillnotbepunished.Yourconfessionhas,atallevents, enabledmetorectifyanerrortosetrightanactofinjustice,ofwhichyouwerethecause.But why,wretchedboy,didyouplaythatrecklessanddisrespectfultrickonyourformmaster?" "IIdidn't,sir." "What?Youhavejuststatedthatyoudid!" "IImean,IInevermeant." "DidyouplacethesootoverthedoorofCherry'sstudyintheRemove,ordidyounot?" "Oh!Yes,sir!ButImeantImeanInevermeantImean,itwasbecausethebeastkickedme." "What?Howdareyouapplysuchanexpressiontoyourformmaster,Bunter!Howdareyoustate thatMr.Quelchkickedyou?"thunderedtheHead. "IIIdon'tmeanQuelch,sirIImeanBobCherry,sirHekickedme,jollyhard,too." "Isthisboyinhissenses?"exclaimedtheHead."Whatconnectioncantherepossiblybebetween Cherrykickingyou,ifhedidso,andadisrespectfultrickonyourformmaster?Explainyourself." "IIImean." Mr.Quelchgraspedit.HewasalittlequickerontheuptakethanhismajesticChief. "IthinkthefoolishboymeansthatheplacedtheboobytrapoverCherry'sstudydoor,intendingit forCherry,sir,"hesaid. "Oh!Isthatyourmeaning,Bunter?" "Yes,sir!"gurgledthefatOwl."IImeantitforCherry,sir,becausethebeastImeanbecausehe kickedme,overthetoffee,sir." "Thetoffee!"repeatedtheHead,likeamaninadream. "Yes,sir!Mr.QuelchthoughtitwasBob'stoffee,andsenthimouttowashhishandsbecausethey weresticky,andBobwasfearfullyshirtyaboutit,andand." "Canyouunderstandthisboy,Mr.Quelch?" "IIthinkso,sir!IIthinkheisalludingtoanincidentintheformroomonedaylastweeka triflingincidentBunter!"ThegimleteyesboredintothefatOwl."Wasityourtoffee,whichI believedatthetimeCherryhadbroughtintotheformroom?" "Oh!No,sir!IImean,yes,sir,"splutteredBunter."IIstuckitonBob'skneewhenyouputme oncon,andyouthought." "Whydidyounottellmethetruthatthetime!"rappedMr.Quelch. "Eh!"Bunterblinkedathim."Youyoumighthavewhoppedme,sir." "Uponmyword!"saidMr.Quelch.

"Ithinkweneednotpursuethisthissideissue,"saidDr.Locke."Itappears,fromthisstupid boy'sconfusedandramblingstatements,thatwhathedidwasnotintendedforyou,Mr.Quelch, butforanotherboyintheRemove.Thatmakesthemattermuchlessserious." "Verymuchindeed,sir,"saidMr.Quelch."Youdidnotmeanthetheboobytraptofallonme, Bunter?" "Oh,no,sir!"gaspedBunter."IIneverdreamedthatyouwouldpokeyournosein,sir." "What?" "IImean,Ineverknewyou'dcomeuptothestudy,sir.IknewBobhadtocomeup,becauseof hisimpot,andIIfixeditupforhim,becausethebeastImeanbecausehekickedme,overthe toffee,andandhidbehindthescreeninthecornertowatchhimgetit,andandwhenyougot it,sir,IIIoh,lor'!" "Youutterlyobtuseboy,cannotyouunderstandthatIshouldhavetakenamuchlessseriousview ofthematter,ifyouhadconfessed,andexplainedthatitwasanaccident." "Oh!Wwwouldyou,sir?" "CertainlyIshould!Pah!"snappedMr.Quelch"ThenCherryknewnothingaboutthematteratall, Bunter?" "Oh,no,sir.Itwasme." "Youshouldnotsay'itwasme',Bunter,"snappedMr.Quelch.Hecouldnotletthatpass,evenat suchamoment. "IIdidn'tsayitwasyou,sir,"stammeredBunter."IIsaiditwasme,sir." "Imean,youshouldsay'ItwasI'!"almostroaredMr.Quelch. "Butitwasn'tyou,sir,"stutteredBunter,inbewilderment."Itwasme,sir." Dr.Lockepassedhishandoverhismouth,possiblyasmilewasdawningthere. "Ithinkwemaydismissthisboy,Mr.Quelch,"hesaid."Bunter!Youmaygo!" AndBunterwentgladly. ALLSWELLTHATENDSWELL! "CHERRY!" "Oh!Yes,sir!" AsharprapsoundedatthedooroftheRag.Everyeyeturnedinthatdirection.Throughthegapin theupperpanels,theRemovefellowsglimpsedanangularform.HarryWhartonandCo.looked outtheirformmasterlookedin.ThegimleteyepinpointedBobCherry,andMr.Quelchrapped outhisnamelikeabullet.Hewasfrowning,andintheimperativemood:butallthejuniorscould seethattherewasachange. "Cherry!Ihavetoexpresstoyoumyregret,andthatofyourheadmaster,"rappedMr.Quelch. "Oh!" "Ithastranspired,Cherry,thatyouwerenotguiltyoftheactlaidtoyourcharge." "Oh!" "Theculpritisnowknown.Hehasconfessed.Yoursentenceofexpulsionis,therefore,rescinded. YourfatherwillbeimmediatelyinformedthatyouarenottoleaveGreyfriars." "Hurray!"roaredJohnnyBull."Thehurrayfulnessisterrific!" "Bravo!" "Kindlybesilent!"rappedMr.Quelch."Cherry!Iregrettheerrorthatwasmade.Yourheadmaster regretsit.Youmust,however,blameyourself.Yourownrecklessdisobediencewasthecause.Had youobeyedmyinstructionstowriteoutyourimpositionthatafternoon,thefoolishboyBunter couldnothavedonewhathedidinyourstudy,andnothingwouldhaveoccurred." "Oh!Yes,sir!I'msorry!"stammeredBob."IknowIwasratheranass,sirIImean." "Letthisbeawarningtoyou,Cherry!" "Oh!Yes,sir!Certainly."
CHAPTERXXXVII

"However,"addedMr.Quelch,moregraciously,"Ihavenowlearnedthefactsregardingthe incidentofthethetoffee,and,inthecircumstances,youwillbeexcusedtheimposition." "Oh!Thankyou,sir." "Wharton!" "Yes,sir." "InviewofthefactthatCherryisnowexonerated,andthatthelateunseemlydisorderwaswholly onhisaccount,yourheadmasterisdisposedtotakealenientviewofwhathashappenedhere.He hasauthorisedmetotellyouthatallwillbeforgiveniftheRemovereturnimmediatelytotheir duty.Immediately!"addedMr.Quelch,inaverydeepvoice. "Oh!Yes,sir." "Theimmediatefulnesswillbeterrific,honouredsahib!" "We'llbeveryglad,sir,"addedMarkLinley. "Willwe?"murmuredtheBounder. "Ifyoureturnimmediatelytodisciplineandorder,noonewillbepunished,"saidMr.Quelch.His eyeglintedforamomentatVernonSmith.Perhapshewastemptedtomakeoneexception.Ifso, heresistedthattemptation."Noone!"herepeated."Ileavetheresttoyourgoodsense,Wharton." "Thankyou,sir,"saidHarry."We'llcomeoutofthisassoonaswecangetthedooropen,sir.We're allgladit'sover." "Verygood!"saidMr.Quelch. Hedeparted:leavingtheRaginabuzz.FaceswerebrightBobCherry'slikethesunatnoonday. OnlySmithydidnotseemwhollypleased.Itwastheendofthe"row",andSmithythrivedonrows. "Whatjollyluck!"chuckledBob. "Terrificluck,myesteemedandidioticchum,"trilledHurreeJamsetRamSingh."Wearenotto losethelightofyourabsurdcountenance,andthesackfulnessisabootontheotherleg." "AnditwasBunterafterall!"saidNugent."WhatdidthatfatasssootQuelchfor?Andwheredid hegetthenervetoownup?" TheBoundergaveascoffinglaugh. "Itoldyouhehadsomedodgeuphissleeve.Well,itwasfunwhileitlasted,butIsupposeit'sover now." "Andajollygoodthing,too,"saidBob. "Anyhow,webeatthem,"Smithychuckled."AndIshallalwaysremembergivingQuelchawash!" "Quelchmayrememberit,too,"remarkedSkinner. "Rot!"saidHarryWharton."Quelchplaysthegame.It'salloverandthesoonerwe'reoutofthis, thebetter." "Hear,hear!" BobCherry'shammerwasheardoncemore,knockingoutthewedgesatthedoor.Itwasnotlong beforetherebelsofGreyfriarsnolongerrebelswerecrowdingoutoftheRag,theforttheyhad heldsolong.MostofthemwereanxioustoseeBunter,andtolearnwhathadhappenedorwas tohappentothefatuousfatOwlwhohadcausedboththebeginningandtheendofthe Greyfriarsbarringout.ThatBunterhadhadthenervetoownupwasamazingyetbywhat "dodge"hecouldhaveeludedtheconsequences,iftheBounder'ssurmisewascorrect,wasstill morepuzzling.ItwasbutseldomthatBillyBunterwasamuchsoughtafterpersonage:butnow everyonewantedtoseeBunter. "Hullo!"CokeroftheFifthmetthemastheystreameddownthepassage,andgavethemaglare. "Soyou'reout?" "Sortof!"admittedBob. "Nowyou'reallgoingtobewhopped,Isuppose?" "Somethingwrongwithyoursupposer,then!We'renotgoingtobewhopped." "Myhat!"ejaculatedCoker."Meantosaythatafterthewayyou'vebeencarryingon,nothing's goingtohappen." "Oh,yes,something'sgoingtohappen,"saidBob."Butit'sgoingtohappentoyou,Coker!Upend him,youfellows." "Whyyoucheekyyoungsweeps!IIIllWhooop!"CokeroftheFifthroared,ashewasup ended:andtheRemovites,leavingHoraceCokerstrewninthepassage,wentontheircheeryway.

TheylookedintheRemovestudiesforBunter.TheyfoundhiminNo.4Smithy'sstudy.Asound ofvigorousmunchingfromthatstudywasaguide.Insuchmattersaslessons,ordates,Billy Bunterhadaverybadmemory:butinsomemattershehadquiteagoodone:andhehadnot forgottenthatSmithyhadmentionedthattherewerechocolatesinhisstudy.Hewasdiscovered standingatSmithy'sstudytable,withanopenboxbeforehim,hisfatfingersbusyandsticky,and Smithy'schocolatesgoingdownlikeoysters. "Hallo,hallo,hallo!Hereheis!"roaredBobCherry. BillyBuntergaveastartledblinkthroughhisbigspectacles,atthecrowdoffacesinthedoorway. "Oh!Isay,youfellows,don'ttellSmithyI'vebeenherehemightthinkI'dscoffedhischocsyou knowwhatasuspiciousbeastheisOh!IIdidn'tseeyou,Smithy,oldchap.Isay,I'mgoingto payforthisboxofchocsIwasjustgoingdowntoseewhethermypostalorder'scome." "Havetheysackedyou,youfatass?"askedHarryWharton. "Eh!Oh!No." "Not?"exclaimedPeterTodd."Whynot?" "Oh,really,Toddy." "Doeshelookedsacked?"grinnedtheBounder.CertainlyBillyBunterdidnotlook"sacked".He lookedsticky,helookedshiny,helooked,asusual,inwantofawash:buthedidnotlooked "sacked". "Butyou'veowneduptosootingQuelch,"exclaimedFrankNugent."TheysackedBobforitso whynotyou?" "Well,theOldMan'samanofhisword,youknow,"saidBunter. "Whatonearthhasthatgottodowithit?"askedJohnnyBull. "Oh!Nothing!Ididn'tpulltheHead'sleg,youknownothingofthekind,"saidBunter,hastily."I justwenttohimandownedup,inaafrankandmanlyway!ThinkI'dleaveitonanotherchap? Notmystyle,Ihope." "Youleftitonmelongenough,youfatfraud!"saidBob. "Oh!Well,Ihadn'tthoughtofthedodgethen." "Whatdodge?" "Oh!Nothing!Isay,Smithy,I'llfinishthesechocs,ifyoudon'tmind.I'llsettleforthemoutofmy postalorder." "HowdidyouwangleitwiththeHead?"demandedtheBounder. "I'mnotthefellowtowangle,Ihope!TheHeadmayhavethoughtthatIwasafraidofthefellow whodidit,whenhepromisedthatIshouldbeallrightifIgavethefellow'snameIdon'tknow whathemayhavethought,ofcourse.HowcouldI?" "Oh,myhat!Wasthathow?"gaspedSmithy. "Ofcourse,hecouldn'tbreakhiswordaheadmaster,youknow.Iwasn'tsojollysureofQuelch, ashehadthesoot!" "Soyou'vewriggledoutofit,youfatworm?"exclaimedBobCherry. "Oh,really,Cherry!Ilikethat!"hootedBunter,indignantly."HereIgototheHead,owningupina frankandmanlyway,justtogetyououtofascrape,andallyoucandoistocallmenames!Ican jollywelltellyouthatitwasprettygrim,withQuelchy'seyeboringintoafellowallthetime.Still, Quelchsaidthatitwasn'tsoserious,afterheknewthesootwasmeantforyou." "Forme!"yelledBob."Ha,ha,ha!" "Eh!Oh!No!Ineverfixeduptheboobytrapforyou,oldchap.Besides,Ionlydiditbecauseyou kickedme.Youjollywellknowyoudid,andifyouthinkyoucankickafellowwithimpecunity." "Youfatchump,doyoumeanimpunity?" "No,Idon't!Don'tyoutrytoteachme,oldchapyouonlyshowyourignorance.Iwenttothe HeadandownedupthatIdidit.That'smeallover.Ineverpulledhisleg,ofcourse.Still,hehadto standbyitafterapromise.Iwasn'tfunkyaboutit,likesomefellowsIcouldnamewouldhave been.QuelchwastherebutdidIcare?Ineverhungback,andWingatedidn'tpushmein." "Ha,ha,ha!" "BlessedifIseeanythingtocackleat.IwalkedintotheHead'sstudyascoolasacowcumberI meanacoolcumberImeanascowasacoolcumberIImeanwell,youknowwhatImean, andsaid,'Ididit!'Justlikethat!"Buntergobbledchocolates."AndtheHeadsaidgrooooogh!

oooogh!"Achunkofchocolatewentdownrathertooquickly,andBuntergurgled."Woogh!The Headsaidgurrrggh!Wurrggh!"ThefatOwlclearedhisfatneck,andgotgoingagain."TheHead said,'Bunter!Thisismanlyofyou!'Hisverywords.Andyoucanjollywellcackleifyoujollywell like,soyah!" "Ha,ha,ha!" "Gentlemen,chaps,andsportsmen,"saidBobCherry."ItwasBunterallthetime,andheseemsto havepulledtheHead'slegandgotoff.I'mgladheisn'tbunked,buthe'sgoingtobejollywell bumped." "Oh,really,Cherry!" "Collarhim!" "Here,Isay,youfellowsLeggoBeastsyaroooh!"roaredBunter,ashewascollared. Bump! "Oh,crikey!Isay." Bump! "Willyouleggo?" Bump! "Whoooooop!" BillyBuntersatonSmithy'scarpet,androared. THEnextday,theGreyfriarsRemovehadresumedtheaccustomedtenoroftheirway,andthey wereontheirverybestbehaviourintheformroom.Therewasaglintinagimleteyethatwarned themtobecircumspect:andtheywerecircumspectionitself.Everyonewasglad,onthewhole, thatthespotofbotherwasover:thoughthefattestmemberoftheform,nowthatallthe drawbacksofschoollifehadreturned,couldnothelplookingbackwitharegretfuleyetothe happytimewhentherehadbeennolessonsorpreporrisingbell,duringtheexcitingweekof BillyBunter'sBarringOut.