Shani Campbell 1 WILTBY Essay English 1102-001

Whats It Like To Be Shani In my short twenty years of life, I can honestly say that I have lived a pretty good life. There is not much that I can complain about because I have been very blessed throughout my short period of life. Ive always had food to eat, clothes to wear, a place to stay, and plenty of family and friends that love me and keep my grounded. Also, I have had the opportunity to experience some of the country and I have many achievements that I am very proud of. But allin-all I am a young woman who has lived the city life (although many northerners swear that I am country) with goals and the ambition to be successful in the long run. I am the down-to-earth, daydreaming, clumsy, and silly young woman that I have always been since birth. Not only am I these things, I am a very driven individual, a survivor, a daughter, granddaughter, sister, aunt, and a fiance. As one can see, I am a woman of many things and I am very proud to carry these titles. Now, I have never given anyone the impression of living the perfect life. There has been sometimes where I, little ol me, have had to be the backbone for my family. And even with the weight of my family on my shoulders I always made sure that I was successful in school. And due to my drive to be successful and wanting to prove to my family that I would always be okay, even in the midst of adversities, I always had excellent grades and test scores. With me adopting this mindset at such a young age, I graduated high school ranking number forty-six out of a whopping four hundred students in my class, along with that, I graduated with a 3.8 GPA and was inducted into the National Honors Society. At the end of the day, I really only wanted to make my grandmother proud, especially since I am her oldest granddaughter. That was not the only reason why I wanted to make my grandmother proud, she also raised me since I was born and she has also molded me into the young woman I

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am today and I wanted her to see that all of her effort and hard work had not went to waste. Now, dont get me wrong, my mother raised me also. But my grandmother was diagnosed with diabetes not long after I was born, and therefore she was no longer able to work because of all the medication she had to take throughout the day. So my mother had my grandmother move in with us and she took on two jobs to take care of my grandmother and me. Granted, I would only see my mother for a few hours out of the day. She would do my hair and give me a bath at night before she left for work and she would pick me up from school in the afternoon then leave for her second job. So my grandmother did everything in between, she would fix me lunch when I came home as well as dinner. She would try to help me with my homework (although the answers were wrong), she would let me read to her when I had to read and sign all my forms for me. So, you can tell that she is a big chunk of my life and I was going to become the successful woman that she has always hoped that I would become one day. I am from the land of red dirt, Freshly baked pound cakes, And picked greens. I am from good hearted kinfolk to the moonshine makers, (it tasted awful and made my chest burn with fire.) I am from hush your mouth, and respect your elders. Yes maam, No sir. I am caramel and eyeglasses With a hint of sarcasm. I am the little curly headed, pig-tailed Girl who stares at the sky to daydream.

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On the back of the bus, eight years ago, I had an experience. I did not know it was a bad thing until one day, a few years later, when my aunt and I were talking and we came across the topic of sexual assault. She looked at me and said with a stern face, If anyone touches you inappropriately you need to tell me, your mom, grandmother, or the nearest adult. Then my mind flashed back to that hot summer day on the bus, my screams for help, their laughs, and no one there to save me. It had hit me and I realized that I had been sexually assaulted on that day. But I kept my dark secret to myself, pushed it in the back of my mind and continued on with my daily life. I never told anyone about my dark secret until I was in the ninth grade. My mother was upset and disappointed that I would keep such a thing from her. And by the time I told anyone, it was too late to try and have the guy arrested and I had forgotten his face as well as his name. But it felt wonderful to get that dark secret out in the light and have someone to talk to about the situation. Although the situation itself was a horrible thing to experience as a twelve year old, I am very proud of how I learned and grew from it. I learned that it was not my fault and that I should never feel like it was, it is never anyones choice to be sexually assaulted. I have also learned that by sharing my story I can help someone else by letting them know that it is okay to talk about it and that they are not to blame for what happened to them as well as letting them know that they are not alone. I now feel that by sharing my story with the world, I can help inform a woman or a man and also open societys eyes up about the severity of sexual assault. This experience has not and will never define who I am. But it has made me a better person and I am even more proud to say that I overcame such an experience and I am a strong woman because of it. Now, I am engaged I met my fianc five years ago when I was in ninth grade. The day I noticed Gary, he was in AFJROTC uniform. I kind of picked on him, jokingly, because I thought

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that JROTC was kind of nerdy. However, from that day on, Gary and I became really close. We would always partner up when our teacher called for the class to find partners. We were stuck together like glue. And as I got to know him more, I started to see that had a really sweet and bright personality. But if you were to stand next to him in line one would have thought that he was a tough guy, because that was the type of aura that he gave off. Some days I would ask him for a dollar and then he would look at me and ask, What for? and I would tell him why I wanted a dollar, then he would smile at me and give me a dollar. Eventually, we started calling one another, husband and wife (Which is quite ironic, now that I look back on it). Sadly, that following year he transferred to another school. But one day on Facebook, I got a friend request from Gary Clemons, and we rekindled our friendship. Since then we havent parted from one another. I would have never thought that I would be sitting here today saying that I am engaged to my best friend. My fianc has been my best friend since the tenth grade and we have been inseparable ever since. I can honestly say that God has truly blessed me because it still feels somewhat unreal and it is unbelievable that I am engaged. But it is definitely a wonderful feeling to have love in my life. There are a lot of people in my life, especially family, that say that I am too young to settle down and to be half way down the aisle already. But I could not disagree more, Gary knows me like the back of his hand and we have been a team since we started dating. And I definitely have very good judgment, because I know that I would not marry someone that I know I would not be happy with for the rest of my life on this Earth. I know that marriage is a heavy subject, but when you are with the right person, it is a wonderful thing. However, I am definitely not rushing down the aisle, I want to give myself time to grow more as a person and establish my career. But knowing that I have found the person that I am going to spend the rest of my life with is amazing, because some people get married and divorced

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multiple times before they find someone who they are truly happy with. I have a whole new outlook on life because now I do not just think about me when I am presented with a situation, I also think about Gary and how it will affect the both of us. It is no longer about just my happiness, its about his happiness too and how we can be happy together as a couple. You definitely go from me to we when you become one. And although commitment may seem bad to others, having my other half really does make me happy. I have never been any happier than I am right now in my life and I appreciate my fianc for being my piece of sunshine in the midst of dark heavy clouds. I recently transferred here to UNC-Charlotte from UNC-Greensboro, and let me tell you, it is like one big high school reunion here. At first, I did not want to transfer just because of that reason, because who wants to go to college in the hometown? But I am glad that I decided to make a change in my life (however, moving back home? Yeah, that wasnt so great.) I am glad that I can start fresh and experience a different academic and social environment that is different from my old schools environment. There is so much school spirit here that UNC-Greensboro just did not have and I am glad to see and be a part of that. I am not as involved as I want to be here, but I am planning on changing that and being more social that I was before. I am definitely excited to be here (again, living at home. Not so much.) and I am glad to have such a wonderful school family now. Now, these events may not sum up my life in a nutshell but they are some of the most important parts of my life that have made me into the person I am today. I feel like if these events had never occurred in my life I would have come out a different person and I definitely would not know how to appreciate the good things if I had never experienced bad times and hardship. But I do know that God has blessed me and my life is wonderful and I have so many

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more great things ahead of me and so many things out there in the world that I have not experienced yet. I can tell that my life will be great and these short twenty years are only a preview of whats to come in the future.