One reason we need to study our bibles constantly is that its easy to work hard at developing some spiritual

virtues and never think about others. We end up pursuing the spiritual qualities that our flesh or our culture value, and God may not have the say he should. One of the characteristics that God wants to be prominent in our characters is gentleness. Gentleness is not celebrated in our culture: gentleness doesn't get make money, gentleness doesn't win wars, gentleness doesn't win football games, gentleness doesn't make hit records; ungentleness gets things done. Even the church hasn't lifted up gentleness; its an unobvious virtue that is all-powerful in the spiritual world. But the scriptures often discuss God's gentleness and the gentleness we should have as we imitate God. When people live in close proximity day after day as in a family, there's going to be friction, and this can make us irritated and impatient with each other. Because we're secure in the relationships, we're not as careful with our family members as we should be. Parents, and particularly fathers, can get away with ungentleness and rudeness that they could never get away with in any other relationship, and this can set the example for the household. Because of this, God's standard of gentleness needs to be fixed in our minds, not our own standards, not our parents', not Dr. Phil's, and not anything we learned from TV. Here are some scriptures that make clear God's gentleness, the high value God places on gentleness, and what that gentleness should look like:

God's Gentleness 1 Kings 19:1-18, particularly 11-13 Matthew 11:29 Luke 1:67-79 John 10:11-15 Revelation 7:15-17

The Importance of Gentleness Philippians 4:5

Proverbs 12:18 Proverbs 15:1 Proverbs 25:15 Ephesians 4:2-3 Galatians 5:22-23 Colossians 3:12-13 1 Timothy 6:11

Gentleness In Practice 1 Corinthians 13:4-5 James 1:19-20 Proverbs 10:19 Proverbs 16:24 Philippians 2:3-11

Practicals: 1) Develop a deep conviction by going over the above scriptures that gentleness is an important, godly characteristic that we should be working to attain. It doesn't take a backseat in the scriptures, it shouldn't take a backseat in our efforts to emulate God. 2) Tell your family you're going to repent of ungentleness, describing specific habits you will change. Give them an opportunity to tell you when they've felt afraid of you or felt the need to be defensive, then be "quick to listen and slow to speak" (James 1:19). 3) Practice basic manners within the family. People who are constantly interacting need "please" and "thank you" more than strangers. Don't tell your kids your irritation is their fault, they are not "making" you mad. 4) The time to repent of ungentleness is not during your quiet time: its when you're

irritated and in a hurry. When you start to feel that way, silently ask God to change you and then think of a calm, gentle, non-accusing, patient