One Hell of a Headache, and Worse Heartache By Bobi D

I always lived by the creed It's my life, I can do what I want. Sounds like fun, but that desire for fun led to bad choice after bad choice. I could write an entire franchise of books off the screw-u s I made in the name of a lau!h whilst sufferin! from what I like to call "ebellious #een Syndrome. Sadly, you can only lau!h at dan!er so much before it tries for some ay-back. It was $ctober %&th, %'(%, at my best-friend)s house in the countryside. It was a cold, dry afternoon, and I had on my father's leather *acket. It was a football arty for the +reen Bay ,ackers, layin! the -acksonville -a!uars. .ell, football was a relative term, considerin! we never watched the !ame. /o, we were more interested in some 0#1 ridin! and !un shootin!. .hich one caused roblems2 Ironically enou!h, it was the 0#1. .ho said 3ife doesn)t have a sense of humor2 See, I never drove an 0#1 before that day, and didn't think it could be all that hard. I can almost remember !ettin! offered my friend's helmet, but I must have said no. 4aybe it was athetic ride on my art, maybe I wanted him wearin! the helmet instead of me, or maybe I wasn't really offered it and *ust can't remember5 I really can't say with any definite certainty. 0ll I know is I !ot on that 0#1, and I am still ayin! for it now, almost a year later. I would love to !ive you the details of how the accident ha ened, but I really can't. I have no memory. I can va!uely remember swervin!, tryin! to re!ain control, fli in!, and *um in! off to revent the 0#1 from landin! on me, seein! as it was one of the bi!!er ones, ca able of fittin! two or three eo le. I don't know if that's the truth or what my mind formulated to e6 lain what I should have never let ha en. I do know the 0#1 wasn)t dama!ed or even scra ed u at all, which is *ust7 so not fair. I had fallen behind my two friends. $ne of them, whose name I withdraw for rivacy sake, !ot a feelin! somethin! was wron! and turned around. 8e found me, crawlin! out of the ditch on the side of the road, attem tin! to stand only to fall down. 9ou were bleedin! retty badly out of your nose, stumblin! around, and you ke t askin! where you were and what day it was, he later told me. Saidfriend called :((. Do!e ;ounty Sherriff)s de artment came with the aramedics. #o this day, I)m a little shocked the sheriffs let me !o without a hitch. I was drivin! an 0#1 on the road without a driver)s license, and they didn)t so much as make a com laint. I !uess they decided a near-death e6 erience was unishment enou!h2 I)ll never know. .hat I do know is the aramedics decided ;olumbus ;ommunity 8os ital wasn)t e<ui ed enou!h to deal with my in*uries. So, they honed u =.. I was med-fli!hted to =. ;hildren's 8os ital. >unny, how I've always wanted to ride in a helico ter, but the one time I !ot the leasure, I lose all memory. 0s is the case with ossible s inal in*uries, they cut off my clothes in the helico ter, resultin! in the loss of my father's very nice, very e6 ensive leather *acket, which I still miss. I was dia!nosed with four or five skull fractures, si6 or seven contusions, severe dama!e to my left ear-drum-ham ered hearin! and a constant rin!in! that threatens to destroy my sanity every moment to this day-and dama!e to my to -left teeth. I was allowed absolutely no hysical e6ertion or heart-racin! activity for several months for fear of ru turin! a blood vessel in my brain. ?ven now, my chances for strokes at an older a!e are e6traordinarily elevated.

0ll these hysical in*uries sound terrible, but considerin! I should not be alive at this time, I can't really com lain much. Besides, all the in*uries weren't the worst of it. >eelin! like I had +od@illa and the Incredible 8ulk com etin! to see who was most destructive in my head wasn)t the worst of it. I <uit eatin! in the hos ital and lost unbelievable amounts of wei!ht, and that's not the worst of it. #he terrible insomnia that followed resultin! in no slee , which is not an e6a!!eration, I had literally @ero slee some ni!hts, wasn't the worst art. #he vast harmacy of ain- ills, slee in! medication, and recu eratin! vitamins I'm still havin! to !obble down aren't the worst of it. #he countless doctor a ointments aren't the worst of it. #he worst was the first thin! I remember in the hos ital. 4y mother standin! over me, tears in her eyes, sayin!, Bobby, you're in the hos ital5 you had an accident on an 0#1. #he worst was my baby sister cryin!, worried if I'd be $A. #he worst was my friend's non-sto a olo!ies because he blamed himself. #he worst was how relieved everyone was when I was back at school. #he worst was the self-loathin! !uilt. I can ut myself throu!h all the ain, hell, and !rief in the world and be over it the ne6t day. I can walk throu!h hell and smile at the same time, I never cared. #his time, thou!h, my stu idity hurt the eo le I cared about. #his time, eo le were !ivin! me sym athy when the only thin! I did was be stu id. I was in emer!ency care for two days, and resided in the hos ital for about a week after5 I think they sent me home a bit early because they were worried about the not-eatin! fact. I was on bed-rest for about a month before !oin! back to school for half the day until I was ready for full days. #he doctors first said it was a miracle I lived, then that I wasn't in a coma, then that I didn't need to have holes drilled into my head to relieve the ressure, #8?/ that I recovered and was ready for school two months early Bhard to believe I)m still *ust 0!nostic, eh2C. 0ll the ain in my head, thou!h, doesn't com are to how much I hated myself for bein! so selfishly stu id. 0ll the ain in my head didn)t com are to the ache I felt in my heart. ,eo le always say It's my life, I can do what I want. I learned the hard-way that is a total lie. 3ife is an ocean, and every action we make affects others, whether it be ri les or waves that reach them. ?very erson you allow into your life and allow to care about you deserves somethin! in return. 9ou $.? it to them to not take the stu id risks that have no reward. I can never take back what I did or for!ive myself, even if others do. I can't !et behind the wheel of a car now without flashbacks of the hos ital. Don't make the same mistake I did. /e6t time you !o to !et on that 0#1 or bike without a helmet, hit that !as- edal to the floor on the hi!hway, crack that seventh beer, smoke that ci!arette, o that ill, or do any other stu id risk for a rush or a little fun, icture the face of your mother, father, sister, brother, wife, husband, !irlfriend, cat, do!, boyfriend, andDor *ust lain friend before you think you are only hurtin! yourself if somethin! !oes wron! because, believe me when I say that eventually, somethin! does. 0nyone who says otherwise or wants to claim I)m bein! dramatic is either so athetically or so i!norantly selfish that they don)t deserve anybody to care about them until they !row u enou!h to reali@e that. >or those who say $h, well it)s not like it would ever ha en to me7 I won)t even waste words with you. I)ll *ust ho e you !row u before your friends have to visit you in that hos ital. It's your life, and you owe it to the people who care about you to live it, and live it for them..

Friday, October 11th, 2013