English 1 Autobiographical Incident EssayRevision Strategies

Name: ______________________ Date: _______________________ eriod: _____

Revise: v! 1! "o prepare a ne#ly edited version o$ a te%t! &! "o change or modi$y! Directions: You will notice that to revise something is to prepare a new, edited version of it. You have been working on revision by revising your first rough draft, completing the self-evaluation, and working with your partner(s) on closely reading the second draft. Using the list of responses from your partners, write your own strategies for improvement below. 'ou must have at least $our total and they must be in complete sentences! (e as speci$ic as possible! See e ample below. !. $. &. (.
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describe the si#e of the cliff and show the distance " fell in the opening paragraph. add more sensory details about the in%uries " mention on page $. use dialogue to show my mom's reaction to my accident. make the personal significance of this incident clearer in the conclusion of my essay.

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Erin Carlson June 27, 2002 Castlemont High School, Oakland Unified School District (ada ted from the English De artment at Castro !alle" High School, Castro !alle" Unified School District#$

Erin Carlson June 27, 2002 Castlemont High School, Oakland Unified School District (ada ted from the English De artment at Castro !alle" High School, Castro !alle" Unified School District#$