TszChingChan

31CunardStreet
BostonMA,02120
5thMarch,2014
Dr.CeciliaMusselman
ENGW3314
441HolmesHall
BostonMA,02115
DearDr.Musselman,
Iwouldliketothankthereviewersfortheirinsightfulcommentsonmypaper.Theiropinionsare
veryimportantbecausetheyguidedmeinrevisingmypaper.Moreover,thosecommentsallowedmeto
seethingsinadifferentperspectiveandcreateabetterversionofmywork.
JordanSurkinsreviewonthefirstdraftrecommendedmetoavoidsummarizingthemovieto
makemypapermoreeffective.WhileIthinkbyprovidingmoreinformationaboutthefilm,itwillhelpto
addknowledgetomyreadersregardingit.Also,Jordansuggestedmetoreorganizemypapertomake
itmoreconcise.Iagreewiththatbecausethiswillmakemypapereasiertoreadandmorestructural.
Moreover,IhaverewrittensomeoftheawkwardphrasesthatJordanhaspointedoutinmyreview.
ThiagoSchuchZilberknopsreviewrecommendedmetorewritemyintroductoryparagraph,
whichIdidbecauseIagreethatitwassomehowconfusingandshort.Ihopethatmycontextmemo
wouldhelpreaderstounderstandwhatIamtryingtogetthemtothinkabout.Moreover,Ihave
followedtheadvicefromThiagoinrewritingsomeoftheoddsentencesinorderforreaderstohavea
clearerimageofthemovieandmyopinions.
Dr.CeciliaMusselmanhasremindedmesomeoftheissuesandmistakesthatImadewhile
writingareviewpaper.Iagreethatinsteadofusingfirstpersonnarration,areviewpapershouldbe
writteninthirdpersonnarration.Also,bygivingsuitableadvice,sheaidedmeinstrengtheningmy
contentandmakingthepapermoreinteresting.Furthermore,shehashelpedmeinrephrasingsomeof
thesentencestoleavemoretimeformoreideasandshowedmeexamplesofquotingwithanother
method.Iagreethatthereduceofuseofadverbswillmakemyreviewmorecleanandconcise.
Inthisrevisedversion,Itriedtorewritethewholepaperbyusingthirdpersonnarration.
Moreover,Ihavereducedtheuseofadverbstopresentaclearerpictureofmyreview.Inadditionto
that,Ihavealsorephrasedsomeofthesentencestomakethemmoreconcreteandeasierforreadersto
readorunderstand.
Inthefirstpageofthepaper,amoredetailedsummaryofthemoviehasbeenaddedinthe
contenttomakethereviewmoreinteresting.IagreewithJordanSurkinandDr.Musselmanthatdraft
ofmyreviewisabitunorganized,therefore,Itriedtogrouptherelatedparagraphs(withsimilar
content)together.Ihavealsochangedtheformatandopeningofthepaperandcorrectanygrammatical

mistakes.Attheend,Ihopethatreaderswillenjoyreadingtherevisedversionofmyreviewand
continuegaininginsightsforit.
Sincerely,
TszChingChan