Communication Skills Module

COMMUNICATION SKILLS
MODULE
Prof. Dr. Hamid Rafiq Khattak
hamid_khattak@hotmail.com
Sara Yaqoob
saroo_14@yahoo.com
Rabia Basri
rabia_basri2003@yahoo.com
Acknowledgements
I am sincerely indebted to Learning Innovation Division -ational !cademy o" #igher
$d%cation& #igher $d%cation 'ommission Islamabad "or the o((ort%nity o" )riting this mod%le
on 'omm%nication *kills. I am indebted to my colleag%es at !+',-*& -s. *arah .a/oob and
-s. 0abia 1asri "or their immense assistance in develo(ing the content o" this mod%le.
I am held in a((reciation and ackno)ledgment to -r. #ashim !bbasi and -s. !yesha
*iddi/%e "or their com(rehensive and relevant "eedback that has hel(ed %s in im(roving %(on
the content o" this mod%le.
I e2(ress my s(ecial gratit%de to all those (artici(ating "ac%lty members o" the (ilot
(ro3ect "or this mod%le& )hose lively interactions and res(onses have given %s insight into the
im(act that this mod%le sho%ld make.
I believe that room "or "%rther im(rovement in this mod%le shall al)ays be there given
the "act that comm%nication is as diverse and intricate as h%mans are. -ay I there"ore solicit
yo%r "eedback at hamid_khattak@hotmail.com or hamid@mantecharc.com. I thank yo% in
advance "or yo%r hel( in im(roving this mod%le "or the sake o" all.

Abstract
'omm%nication is a t)o )ay interactive (rocess and its im(ortance can be "o%nd in o%r
(ro"essional as )ell as in o%r daily (ersonal lives. 4e have intentionally taken a holistic
a((roach in this mod%le. It "oc%ses on the (erson yo% are& o" )hich yo%r role as a teacher is a
"acet. 4itho%t taking the )hole (ersona into consideration& it may not be (ossible to achieve
the ob3ective o" im(roving one5s comm%nication skills 3%st as a teacher. 6his comm%nication
mod%le is "oc%sed on the e""ective %se and handling o" comm%nication sit%ations& that teachers
"ind themselves in both (ro"essional and (ersonal environments. 6his mod%le "oc%ses on
comm%nication (rocesses and key elements. It s(eci"ically e2(lores the linkages bet)een
(erce(tion& (ersonality& and comm%nication incl%ding non-verbal comm%nication. 6he (rime
(%r(ose is to ed%cate learners to e""ectively %se and inter(ret verbal and nonverbal
comm%nication and %nderstand )hat comm%nication styles and skills can be ado(ted "or
di""erent (ersons so as to ens%re e""ective comm%nication.
Table of Content
!. Introd%ction ............................................................................................................................................. 1
1. !ims ......................................................................................................................................................... 3
'. -od%le ,b3ectives ................................................................................................................................... 7
6his mod%le shall (rovide am(le o((ort%nities "or sel" e2(loration and sel" learning to essentially make
yo% 8conscio%s9 abo%t yo%rsel" and more s(eci"ically o" yo%r comm%nication style& etc. 6he "oc%s is
in)ard rather than o%t)ard. *o )hile yo% vent%re into %sing this mod%le "or others& ho(e"%lly& it )o%ld
be e/%ally %sable by yo% as )ell as %se"%l. It shall "acilitate e2(loring yo%r o)n (ersonality ty(es and
relevant comm%nication styles so that yo% can ada(t them s%ccess"%lly to yo%r o)n comm%nication
sit%ation (ersonally as )ell as (ro"essionally both in academic and non-academic settings. ....................7
*ession I: Introd%ction to 'omm%nication *kills.........................................................................................;
1. *ession Learning ,%tcomes ..................................................................................................................... ;
2. <ey 'once(ts and 'ontent ....................................................................................................................... ;
3. 6eaching !((roaches ............................................................................................................................. 1=
4. Learning !ctivities ................................................................................................................................. 20
7. *%mmary and 6ransition ....................................................................................................................... 21
;. !ssessment ............................................................................................................................................ 21
*ession II: 'omm%nication 1arriers..........................................................................................................23
1. *ession Learning ,%tcomes ................................................................................................................... 23
2. <ey 'once(ts and 'ontent ..................................................................................................................... 23
3. 6eaching !((roaches ............................................................................................................................. 70
4. Learning !ctivities .................................................................................................................................. 72
7. *%mmary and 6ransition ........................................................................................................................ 73
;. !ssessment ............................................................................................................................................ 74
*ession III: 'omm%nication > *el"............................................................................................................77
1. *ession Learning ,%tcomes .................................................................................................................. 77
2. <ey 'once(ts and 'ontent ..................................................................................................................... 77
3. 6eaching !((roaches ............................................................................................................................. ?2
4. Learning !ctivities ................................................................................................................................. ?3
7. *%mmary and 6ransition ....................................................................................................................... ?7
;. !ssessment ............................................................................................................................................ ?;
*ession I@: 0ole o" Di""erent *elves in 'omm%nication ............................................................................??
1. *ession Learning ,%tcomes .................................................................................................................. ??
2. <ey 'once(ts and 'ontent ..................................................................................................................... ??
3. 6eaching !((roaches ............................................................................................................................. =0
4. Learning !ctivities ................................................................................................................................. =2
7. *%mmary and 6ransition ....................................................................................................................... =3
;. !ssessment ............................................................................................................................................ =4
*ession @: 'omm%nication and +ersonality -+art I...................................................................................=7
1. *ession Learning ,%tcomes ................................................................................................................... =7
2. <ey 'once(ts and 'ontent ..................................................................................................................... =7
3. 6eaching 6echni/%es ........................................................................................................................... 10;
4. Learning !ctivities .............................................................................................................................. 10?
7. *%mmary and 6ransition ...................................................................................................................... 10A
;. !ssessment ........................................................................................................................................ 10A
*ession @I: 'omm%nication and +ersonality ..........................................................................................110
1. Learning ,%tcomes .............................................................................................................................. 110
2. <ey 'once(ts and 'ontent ................................................................................................................... 110
1. 6he *hado) *ide .................................................................................................................113
3. 6eaching !((roaches ........................................................................................................................... 120
4. Learning !ctivities ................................................................................................................................ 121
7. *%mmary and 6ransition ..................................................................................................................... 122
;. !ssessment ......................................................................................................................................... 123
*ession @II: 'omm%nication and 1ody Lang%age B +art1.......................................................................124
1. Learning ,%tcomes .............................................................................................................................. 124
3. 6eaching !((roaches ........................................................................................................................... 13?
4. Learning !ctivities ................................................................................................................................ 13A
7. *%mmary and 6ransition ...................................................................................................................... 13=
;. !ssessment ......................................................................................................................................... 13=
*ession @III: 'omm%nication and 1ody Lang%age-+art 2........................................................................141
1. Learning ,%tcomes .............................................................................................................................. 141
3. 6eaching !((roaches .......................................................................................................................... 170
4. Learning !ctivities ................................................................................................................................ 171
7. *%mmary and 6ransition ..................................................................................................................... 171
;. !ssessment ......................................................................................................................................... 172
D. -aterial .............................................................................................................................................. 174
D1. *ession 1-!ctivity 2 ........................................................................................................................... 174
D2. *ession 1-!ctivity 3 ........................................................................................................................... 177
D3. *ession 2-!ctivity ; ............................................................................................................................ 17;
D4. *ession 4-!ctivity 3 ............................................................................................................................ 17?
D7. *ection 4-!ctivity ; ............................................................................................................................ 17A
D;. +ersonal 0e(ort o" 'omm%nication !((rehension ........................................................................... 1;0
D?. 'omm%nication *tyle -eas%re ......................................................................................................... 1;2
DA. !rg%mentativeness *cale .................................................................................................................. 1;;
D=. @erbal !ggressiveness *cale .............................................................................................................. 1;A
D10. Iss%es in 'omm%nication- Cro%( !ctivity: 6he Im(ortance o" *el"-'once(t .................................. 1?0
D11. 'omm%nication 'hallenge-!ctivity: Increasing .o%r *el"-!)areness ............................................. 1?2
$. 0e"erences and 1ibliogra(hy ............................................................................................................... 1?3
D. !((endi2 .............................................................................................................................................. 1A1
Communication is a two-way
process of reaching mutual
understanding, in which
participants not only exchange
(encode-decode) information but
also create and share meaning.
Communication is a key element
involved in teaching process. The
basic aim of this module is to
share the !", vi#$ nowledge,
!kills and "bilities necessary for
effective Communication so that
teachers can use them in a class
setting and environment.
A. Introduction
Dear %sers o" this -od%le& greetingsE
Dollo)ing the s(irit o" Ft)o-)ay5 comm%nication )e
have tried to make this )ritten te2t comm%nicate )ith yo%
so that it may in t%rn enable yo% to comm%nicate )ith yo%r
res(ective a%dience. Irres(ective o" yo%r areas o" e2(ertise&
yo% all kno) that e""ective comm%nication is all abo%t
conveying yo%r messages to other (eo(le clearly and
%nambig%o%sly. It5s also abo%t receiving in"ormation "rom
others )ith as little distortion as (ossible.
'omm%nication is a matter o" e""ectiveness& )hich is
de(endent on the interloc%tors5 comm%nication
com(etency. In other )ords its e""ectiveness is de(endent
on one5s com(etency in comm%nication. 'omm%nication
involves intents and e""orts "rom both the sender o" the message and the receiver. ItGs a (rocess
that can be "ra%ght )ith error s%ch as )ith messages m%ddled Hi.e.& mi2ed %( by the sender& or
misinter(reted by the reci(ientI. -iscomm%nication is avoidable. #o)ever& i" this isnGt
detected& it can ca%se tremendo%s con"%sion& )aste e""orts and miss o((ort%nities.
In "act& comm%nication is s%ccess"%l only )hen both the sender and the receiver reach a
common %nderstanding regarding the same in"ormation as a res%lt o" the comm%nication
(rocess.
1y s%ccess"%lly getting yo%r message across& yo% convey yo%r tho%ghts and ideas
1
e""ectively. 4hen not s%ccess"%l& the tho%ghts and ideas that yo% act%ally send do not
necessarily re"lect )hat yo% think& ca%sing a comm%nication breakdo)n and creating
roadblocks Hi.e.& barriers that stand in the )ay o" yo%r goals B both (ersonally and
(ro"essionallyI.
.o% )o%ld also agree that many ed%cators Hi.e.& teachersI& )hile having (ro"o%nd
kno)ledge regarding their res(ective area o" interests and co%rseJs they teach& "ail to
comm%nicate clearly )ith their st%dents and th%s "ail to achieve the desired res%lts. Civen the
"act that a teacher is essentially eval%ated "ormally or in"ormally on the basis o" his or her
st%dent5s s%ccess& it is inevitable to )ork on comm%nication skills to achieve (ersonal
"%l"illment and (ro"essional e2cellence.
In s(ite o" the increasing im(ortance (laced on comm%nication skills and s%bse/%ent
a)areness& many teachers contin%e to str%ggle )ith comm%nicating their ideas e""ectively. 6his
mod%le is an attem(t to address many o" the core iss%es related to comm%nication skills and
enhance the comm%nication skills o" teachers.
2
B. Aims
6he overall aim o" the mod%le on comm%nication skills is to (rovide an o((ort%nity "or
teachers to learn comm%nication techni/%es and (ractice them in real settings. In many
ed%cational instit%tions& comm%nication is more oriented to)ards semantics and there"ore
"oc%sing on the ling%istic as(ect alone )ith concentration on the teaching o" "o%r lang%age
skills -- namely Listening& *(eaking& 0eading and 4riting skills. 6he (resent mod%le is neither
abo%t ling%istics nor abo%t the lang%age skillsK rather& it aims to allo) the (artici(ants to have a
com(rehensive %nderstanding o" comm%nication (rocesses to relate them to their o)n s(eci"ic
sit%ations and (ersonality ty(es. !s mentioned earlier& this mod%le is based on a conce(t that
envisages that comm%nication can be learned and takes into acco%nt certain conce(ts that are
related to h%man behavior and (sychology. Its dominant (remise is that given the basic
lang%age skills& comm%nication essentially de(ends on )ho yo% are besides ho) yo% say& )hat
yo% say to )hom& )hen and )here.
6he s%ccess o" comm%nication to a large e2tent is de(endent on senders and receivers5
(erce(tions o" their o)n selves and one another thro%gh )hich they inter(ret the message
accordingly. It is there"ore signi"icant "or yo% to kno) )ho yo% are. *o do yo% kno) )ho yo%
areL 6his may evoke di""erent res(onsesK "or some o" yo%& many ans)ers can (o( %(K )hile "or
others& there co%ld be absol%te blankness. I" the ans)er is in a""irmative& it5s very "ineK b%t i" the
ans)er is that 8no& I don5t kno)9& then it5s time "or yo% to carry o%t some intros(ection. It can
be a very enthralling e2(erienceE 6here is no right and )rong ans)er and no %ltimate ans)ers
as )ell& "or as )e e2(erience li"e )e change even i" not )holly& b%t s%rely )e are in"l%enced
(artially. *o in a contin%al 3o%rney& the search carries on. 4hat do yo% sayL ! tho%ght-
3
(rovoking /%estion is aimed at becoming 8conscio%s9 or a)are o" the need to constantly
e2(lore many "acets that )e have. -ore s(eci"ically& every comm%nication sit%ation is
di""erent& in )hich )e ass%me di""erent roles that in t%rn a""ects o%r comm%nication.
! +ict%re is )orth a 6ho%sand 4ordsE Do yo% agreeL 'an yo% describe the e2(ressions o" this
childL
Of all the things you wear ;Your expression is the most
important.
Who you are gets expressed so loudly
that no one hears what you say
6his (ict%re )as sent to me by my 6eaching !ssistant at #amdard Mniversity& -s. *aima *abri.
I "ind this (ict%re very e2(ressive as it almost embodies the InsideB,%t a((roach to 'omm%nication
Hi.e.& yo%r internal state normally gets mani"ested.I D%rther e2tension o" this tho%ght is that F)ho5
yo% are in)ardly gets its mani"estation thro%gh o%t)ard e2(ression even i" yo% don5t %tter a single
)ordE 4hile this may so%nd generic& it is tr%e to a large e2tent. 6he (roblem is that )e generally do
not learn to become conscio%s o" o%r o)n e2(ressions or o" others.
4
C. Module Obecti!es
6his mod%le shall (rovide am(le o((ort%nities "or sel" e2(loration and sel" learning to
essentially make yo% 8conscio%s9 abo%t yo%rsel" and more s(eci"ically o" yo%r comm%nication
style& etc. 6he "oc%s is in)ard rather than o%t)ard. *o )hile yo% vent%re into %sing this mod%le
"or others& ho(e"%lly& it )o%ld be e/%ally %sable by yo% as )ell as %se"%l. It shall "acilitate
e2(loring yo%r o)n (ersonality ty(es and relevant comm%nication styles so that yo% can ada(t
them s%ccess"%lly to yo%r o)n comm%nication sit%ation (ersonally as )ell as (ro"essionally
both in academic and non-academic settings.

7
What is Communication?
I It is the Process of Understanding and
Sharing Meaning
I Understanding - perceiving, interpreting,
and comprehending and meaning of the
verbal and non verbal behaviour of
others.
I Sharing - an interaction between people
to exchange meaning
I Meaning - shared understanding of the
message
Session I" Introduction to Communication Skills
#$ Session Learning Outcomes
+artici(ants shall be able to %nderstand the at%re o" 'omm%nication "or $""ective
#andling o" 'omm%nication *it%ations.
%$ Ke& Conce'ts and Content
2.1. Key Concept 1 !hat is Comm"nication#
8Mnderstanding9 is the essence o" comm%nication. 6his only ha((ens )hen there is an
intention o" %nderstanding and being
%nderstood by those involved in a
comm%nication sit%ation. Interaction )ith the
(%r(ose o" sharing involves the e2change o"
the signs and symbols Hi.e.& )ordsI In a given
comm%nicative conte2t& the absence o" them
also still comm%nicates the absence o" the
Fingredients5 o" comm%nicationK the intention&
the skills& or the (resence o" barriers.
'omm%nication takes (lace )hen )e are s%((osedly at the same level o" %nderstanding
and com(rehension as other interloc%tors. 'omm%nication is there"ore not )hat is said
)hether verbally or non-verbally& b%t )hat is %nderstood. 4e have disc%ssed earlier that
%nderstanding is in"l%enced by (erce(tions and (erce(tions evolved over a (eriod o" time and
;
color o%r %nderstanding. 4e all have (ersonal (erce(tions& and there"ore %nderstanding )o%ld
need a conscio%s and deliberate e""ort by %s and cannot be le"t to chance& e2(ecting it to
ha((en by itsel".
!sk yo%rsel" ho) conscio%sly yo% listen to others )hen they are s(eakingK or "or that
matter& ho) conscio%s yo% are& )hen s(eaking& abo%t ho) many a((ear to be %nderstanding.
Interestingly& comm%nication& )hich is generally relegated to as basics )hen considered as an
ordinary h%man "ac%lty is not that basic a"ter all. It is there"ore that comm%nication can be
learnt and needs to be learnt.
2.2. Key Concept 2 $%ements and Process of Comm"nication
'omm%nication is a (rocess and as s%ch contains many elements to enable it to ha((en.
6hey are also s%sce(tible o" de"ect. #ere are the elements o" the comm%nication (rocess Hsee
(ict%reI:
?
Stimulus
Elements of Communication-Expanded Process
Decoding
Understanding
Encoding
Encoding
Understanding
Decoding
Message
2.2. Stimulus
6his is the originating (oint. It is the %rge that necessitates comm%nication "or the
(%r(ose o" satis"ying that %rge. 6he stronger the stim%l%s or the %rge the greater is the need to
comm%nicate. 6he greater the need to comm%nicate& the more the need is "or e""ectiveness. In
other )ords comm%nication is a matter o" e""ectiveness. $""ectiveness is a meas%re o"
o%tcome. $""ective comm%nication there"ore res%lts in the "orm o" desired o%tcome.
2.2.2 Encoding!message
6he %rge to satis"y a need necessitates e2(ression. 4itho%t getting into the age old
debate o" )hether "irst is the )ord or the tho%ght& the e2(ression has to take a com(rehensible
"orm so as to enable the receiver to decode or inter(ret it. 6his is done by %sing the di""erent
conventions. 6he e2(ression can be thro%gh signs and symbols. *ymbols here denote the verbal
modeK or the %se o" )ords )hereas the signs are non-verbal. 1oth symbols and signs together
make the lang%age )e %se to comm%nicate. Lang%age& both verbal and non-verbal& is th%s
em(loyed to encode the message that is intended to be comm%nicated. It is im(erative that
the encoding be done in a lang%age that conveys or "or that matter comm%nicates. In other
)ords encoding means that the intended idea& tho%ght& desire& (%r(ose etc. gets embedded in
ling%istic code viN.K a )ord& a sign or both and they make the message. 'omm%nication is a
(rocess that generally takes (lace se/%entially b%t once initiated it creates its o)n logic o"
se/%ence and does not essentially "ollo) a linear (redictable (ath. In other )ords the
(rocesses involved in comm%nication are actively engaged sim%ltaneo%sly in creating
moment%m meaning& and %ltimate o%tcome. 6he %ltimate o%tcome and the desired o%tcome
and the ga( bet)een them )o%ld generally give an acco%nt o" ho) s%ccess"%l the (rocess has
been. $ncoding is generally done by the sender o" the message. *ender is there"ore the
A
encoder o" the message.
2.2." C#annel
'hannel is the means thro%gh )hich the encoded message travels or gets transmitted.
6he channel is the medi%m s%ch as e-mail& "ace to "ace or (hone conversation& letter&
(resentation. 6he sending and "eed back channels may not be necessarily the same. 6he ty(e o"
comm%nication viN. "ormal and in"ormal comm%nication is an im(ortant as(ect in choosing the
most a((ro(riate channel "or comm%nicating e""ectively.
2.2.$ Decoding
Decoding o" a message is as integral to comm%nication as encoding it. Decoding is the
(rocess o" giving meaning to the encoded message. It can also be re"erred to as e2tracting the
embedded meaning or inter(reting )hat )as encoded by the sender. 6he ability o" the receiver
in decoding the message correctly is decisive in %nderstanding the message in its holistic sense.
2.2.% &ecei'er
! message is directed to a receiver being the event%al reci(ient o" the message.
'omm%nication is a matter o" com(rehending the sent message in its tr%e essence and th%s
re/%ires a certain level o" <no)ledge& *kills and !bilities B<*! on the (art o" the receiver to
correctly inter(ret the message. 6he <*! o" the receiver is there"ore (aramo%nt in the
s%ccess"%l com(rehension o" the message.
=
2.2.( Barriers
1arriers to comm%nication are the "actors that contrib%te to)ards the total or (artial
loss or "ail%re o" the comm%nication. In sim(le terms they can be re"erred to as those "eat%res
that act as b%l)ark to the desired o%tcome o" any comm%nication (rocess. 6hey are many and
very m%ltidimensional in nat%re. 4e )o%ld disc%ss some common barriers later )ith the
intention o" making yo% conscio%s o" them and th%s "acilitate their elimination d%ring the
comm%nication (rocess.
2.&. Key Concept & Comm"nication Process
6his (rocess )orks as "ollo)s: 6he messenger has an %rgeBa need that re/%ires being
satis"ied. In order to make that ha((en& it has to be in a "orm and "ormat that conveys the
intent in the best (ossible manner. 6his is done thro%gh creating a message that is meant to be
sent. 6his message is enca(s%lated in the ling%istic conventions s%ch as symbols i.e.& )ords
besides signs that can be re"erred to as non-verbal lang%age. 6he messenger encodes the
message in verbal andJor non-verbal lang%age that is considered to best comm%nicate the
message according to the intent. 6he message )ill go thro%gh a channel& a means o"
comm%nication s%ch as e-mail& "ace to "ace or (hone conversation& letter& (resentation etc. 6he
receiver )ill then decode the message %sing conventions& c%lt%ral or conte2t%al backgro%nd&
and lang%age skills. 6he message that is received or inter(reted might or might not be the same
as the sent one and may not necessarily meet the intent o" the messenger.
10
If all m possessions were
ta!en from me with one
exception, I would hope to
!eep m power of
communication --- for b it I
would regain all the rest. "
--#aniel $ebster, %merican &ournalist
Communication
2.'. Key Concept ' !hy St"dy Comm"nication
6his statement by Daniel 4ebster highlights the
centrality o" comm%nication to s%ccess. I co%ldn5t
agree more. #o) abo%t yo%L 4ell I "ind the /%ote
e/%ally tr%e "or teachers& isn5t itL It is an e2cellent
)arm %( activity. I have s%ccess"%lly generated a lot o"
interesting res(onses by asking the (artici(ants i" they
can relate to this /%ote. *ome )o%ld be able to relate
others )on5t and that is 3%st "ine. -any teachers may
not see comm%nication (laying a signi"icant role in teaching their s(eci"ic s%b3ects. 6here might
be a general (erce(tion that (%re sciences do not need as m%ch comm%nication as co%rses
gro%(ed %nder h%manities& social sciences& and behavioral sciences need. Irres(ective o"
di""erent vie)s& it is integral that as m%ch disc%ssion as (ossible may be generated& allo)ing
everyone to (artici(ate. 6his normally gets the (artici(ants hooked "rom the very o%tset.
$2(loit this /%ote according to yo%r creativity and the ty(e o" the (artici(ants. H6his can be
(ossibly a((lied once yo% )o%ld have carried o%t a brie" s%rvey o" the (artici(antsJa%dience
be"ore yo% enter the session room in terms o" their academic backgro%nd& co%rses that they
are teaching& and& i" (ossible& social backgro%ndI. 4hy *ocial 1ackgro%ndL 1eca%se it allo)s %s
to determine )hat role o%r social backgro%nds (lay in "orming o%r (erce(tions. +lease
remember that )e& h%mans& are (retty diverse s(ecie and )hat )orks )ith one gro%( may not
)ork at all )ith the other. 6hat5s the bea%ty and the challenge o" comm%nication. 6here"ore&
al)ays be (re(ared to receive diverse res(onses and avoid being 3%dgmental or stereoty(ing.
11
Why Study Communication?
'ecause(..
I It can improve the wa ou see ourself
through self confidence
2.$.. Communication for impro'ing self-confidence
6he (ict%re is /%ite sel"-e2(lanatory& isn5t itL 6his
basically re"ers to o%r (erce(tions o" %s. ,k& then let
me ask yo% this /%estion 8Is this creat%re a cat or a
lionL 8,bvio%sly it is a cat9 or 8no& it act%ally is a lion
beca%se it sees itsel" as one9 are some o" the
res(onses that it )o%ld evoke.
4e all (erceive o%rselves di""erentlyK don5t )eL !nd more so in relation to ho) others
see %sL *o )hat is yo%r res(onseL 6his is a very interesting debate& b%t e""ectively brings o%t
the im(ortance o" sel"-(erce(tion and its im(act on o%r behavior. It establishes the linkage o"
(erce(tion )ith that o" comm%nication and event%ally the %se o" lang%age. Let me %se the
)ord conscio%sness again here as the moment )e become conscio%s o" o%r (erce(tion )e are
in "act em(o)ered to change that (erce(tion o" o%rs i" )e so desire. 6here is nothing more
signi"icant in one5s con"idence b%ilding that one5s conscio%sness abo%t onesel" as it gives one
sel"-control and s%bse/%ently sel"-direction. 6he (ict%re above is also meant to make yo%
conscio%s o" yo%r (erce(tion. 6he role o" the 8mirror9 is %ndeniably the most signi"icant. 6his
mirror can be yo%r (erce(tion o" yo%rsel" or others5 (erce(tion o" yo%. 8-irrorO mirror tell me
)ho is the "airest o" all9L I am s%re yo% )o%ld remember this "rom the childhood tales o" 86he
*lee(ing +rincess9. I" yo% have read the story then yo% )o%ld kno)& )hat ha((ened )hen the
mirror s(oke the tr%th and made the )icked )itch conscio%s that she )as not the "airest o" allK
b%t the (rincess. *he co%ld not acce(t the 8reality9 and thro%gh her magic tried to kill the
(rincess.
6he (oint that I am trying to make is that )e ass%me certain roles in o%r lives )itho%t
12
I It can increase what ou !now about
relationships.
being conscio%s o" them. #o)ever& once conscio%s& ho) )ell )e ad3%st to those realities
dictates o%r behavior and the roles )e ass%me. I" )e do not become conscio%s& )e end %(
(laying those roles thro%gho%t o%r lives )itho%t ever getting the o((ort%nity to change it. It is
im(ortant that )e kno) )hat role )e are (laying. 'onscio%sness em(o)ers %s to 8choose9 the
role )e )ant "or o%rselves. I" the cat sees itsel" as a lion HsymbolicallyI then it )o%ld act as one
and so on and so "orth. 6hose )ho see it as a cat )o%ld have (roblems acce(ting the cat5s
8role9 and 8behavior9 as that o" a lion. 6he (oint is that i" t)o (ers(ectives do not match there
)o%ld be mismatch o" (erce(tions and res%ltantly there )o%ld be miscomm%nication.
4e need to kno) o%r o)n (erce(tion o" o%rselves to comm%nicate o%rselves more
directly to others. 0ightly (erceiving hel(s in bridging any ga(s bet)een ho) others (erceive %s
and ho) )e (erceive o%rselves. 4e m%st remember that (erce(t%al distortions are (otent
barriers to sending& receiving and inter(reting messages and event%ally leading to
miscomm%nication or comm%nication breakdo)n. 'an yo% remember any instance )here yo%r
(erce(tions have ever led yo% to misinter(ret others or vice versaL I am s%re most o" %s )o%ld
remember one or t)o s%ch instances i" not more.
2.$.2. Communication for )no*ing about relations#ips
6he role o" comm%nication in relationshi(s can
hardly be over stressed. It is an established "act that
o%r /%ality o" relationshi( is directly de(endent on
o%r /%ality o" comm%nication. ,%r e""ective
comm%nication can enhance o%r %nderstanding o"
(eo(le and (eo(le5s %nderstanding o" o%rselves& )hich in ret%rn allo)s o%r relations to "lo%rish
and (ros(er. I have a /%estion "or yo%K9 Do yo% love yo%r mother more or yo%r "atherL9 6he
13
res(onses )o%ld varyK tho%gh my e2(erience has been that -oms tend to )in this one
(artic%larly. 6he reasons co%ld be di""erent b%t 8e2(ression o" love and care9 are the reasons
mostly acco%nted "or -oms being voted as the "avorites. Link this 8e2(ression o" love and
care9 )ith comm%nication. #o) )ell yo% have 8comm%nicated9 yo%r a((reciation and love "or
yo%r (arentsL -ore im(ortantly let me ask yo% ho) do yo% or ho) )o%ld yo% 8comm%nicate9
yo%r love to yo%r (arents or yo%r loved onesL 6his /%estion is meant to make yo% conscio%s
and make yo% re"lect on yo%r (ersonal comm%nication styles that yo% 8%nkno)ingly9 might be
%sing to comm%nicate and receive di""erent res(onses "rom )hat yo% )ere e2(ecting.
'onscio%sness hel(s to alter yo%r comm%nication style according to di""erent comm%nication
sit%ations.
4hen yo% comm%nicate )ith yo%r relations& it )o%ld increase )hat yo% kno) o" yo%r
relationshi( )ith them. In my disc%ssions& this /%estion has al)ays generated a lot o" interest
and varied res(onses. #onestly ans)er the above /%estion on ho) )ell yo% have
comm%nicated yo%r a((reciation and love "or yo%r (arents H"or the sim(le reason that o%r
(arents love %sI and yo% )o%ld kno) 8)hy it5s im(ortant to comm%nicate9 and "or that yo%
need to kno) abo%t comm%nication. !s teachers )e consider o%rselves 8s(irit%al (arents9. !s
s(irit%al (arents ho) )ell have )e been able to comm%nicate o%r care to o%r st%dentsK and
ho)L #o) can )e better comm%nicate )ith them is the "oc%s. 6he better the comm%nication&
the better )o%ld be their %nderstanding o" yo% and res%ltantly o" yo%r s%b3ect. 6ry itE .o% )ill
be amaNed by the res%lts.
14
2.$.". Communication for freedom of speec# + professional success
I" )e "ail to comm%nicate& )e "ail to tell others o%r e2istence and o%r being. It doesn5t
really matter then )hether )e have the "reedom o" s(eech or not. 6hose o" %s )ho are good
comm%nicators are recogniNed and are generally
a((reciated "or their ability in an %nbiased
environment. In a biased environment& it is needed
even more to avoid barriers and miscomm%nications
that can be "atal "or o%r (ro"essional lives and careers
in (artic%lar. It is no) kno)n "or a "act that to( slots
in any organiNation re/%ire e""ective comm%nication
skills. 4hile technical skills or kno)ledge abo%t o%r
o)n area or s%b3ect takes %s "or)ard to a certain e2tentK e""ective comm%nicators carry the day
and o" co%rse the dream 3ob or the coveted (romotion that everybody )as eyeing "or.
,rganiNations need leaders to steer them and the role o" comm%nication skills in
leadershi( has been ackno)ledged %niversally. 6he most revered leaders in the h%man history
are the ones )ith high level com(etency in comm%nication. 4e all have certain leadershi( roles
in o%r o)n domains. 6eachers5 role as leaders& )ho develo( nations& is the most celebrated
one& %niversally. P%st imagine a teacher )ho "ails to comm%nicate )hat sJhe act%ally )anted to
in any setting& b%t (artic%larly in a classroom. It s%rely )o%ld be a great o((ort%nity lostK to say
the least.
17
I It can help ou exercise our freedom of
speech
I It can help ou succeed professionall
Career
2.$.$. Communication for important life s)ills
In o%r daily interactions& )e are con"ronted )ith iss%es
and matters that re/%ire %s to ass%me certain roles and
(er"orm certain tasks. 4e& as teachers& sometimes have to
ass%me certain roles as "acilitators )ho are involved in
team b%ilding "or certain academic and non-academic
activities. egotiation and con"lict resol%tion are some o"
the li"e skills that )e all need to steer s%ccess"%lly in o%r
(ersonal and (ro"essional lives. I am amaNed also by o%r
inability at times to make decisions. ,ne may restrict this as(ect to the teaching (ro"ession
alone or may enlarge its canvas to li"e.
,%r need to comm%nicate is also generated by others5 need o" in(%t "rom %s& )e
essentially being social beings. 6he better& one is at comm%nication& the greater are the
chances o" s%ccess in (er"orming the ass%med roles that o%r careers in (artic%lar and li"e
generally (resents %s )ith.
Civen the h%man diversity and (erce(t%al di""erences there )o%ld al)ays be con"licting
(ers(ectives& vie)s& ideas and sit%ations. Look at this Fyin5 and Fyang5 given belo) and tell me
)hether the bo%ndaries o" )hite and black 3oin them or se(arate themL
It5s a (ers(ective bet)een limits and limitations. 6he res(onses& I am s%re are as diverse
as )e all are. *o then )hich is the correct oneL at%rally& the one that yo% believe in is correct
1;
It can teach ou importantlife s!ills such
as)onflict *esolution, #ecision Ma!ing,
+eam'uilding
Do they 3oin here or se(arateL
Do they 3oin here or se(arateL
"or yo%. 4hat abo%t the other5s (ers(ectiveL Let me ask yo% another /%estionK is the sha(e o"
one let5s say 8.in9 s%stainable )itho%t the sha(e o" 8.ang9L I" yo% see& it is the sha(e o" one
that gives the sha(e to the other and yet they re(resent each other5s o((osite both in sha(e&
color and characteristics. ,ne com(lements the other. ,ne cannot e2ist )itho%t the otherK they
are o((osites b%t essential "or co-e2istence. It is abo%t %nity in diversity or "or that matter
diversity in %nity. 4e as h%mans have one thing in common and that is that )e all are di""erent.
,%r co-e2istence has been (ossible thro%gh o%r ability to comm%nicate and )e s%rely and
essentially comm%nicate "or con"lict resol%tion.
In case )e see that one e2ists at the e2(ense or cost o" the other or rather sim(listically
(%t it in terms o" 8right9 and 8)rong9& then )hat )e have is only con"lict. 6his (ers(ective limits
o%r %nderstanding o" h%mans and their comm%nication by relating or rather "i2ing them in the
"rame o" stereoty(es that )e have develo(edK )hereas& h%mans and their comm%nication
come in all shadesK don5t theyL I" yes& then there comm%nication is as m%lti"aceted as they are.
#%mans are (retty diverse and there"ore )e sho%ld be smart eno%gh not to restrict o%rselves
to only t)o (ers(ectives i.e.& right or )rong H!bsol%te tr%th not being %nder disc%ssion hereI.
6aking a ne%tral (osition is )hat many o" %s "ind di""ic%lt d%e to o%r o)n (erce(t%al in"l%ences
and i" )e consider them as the only 8right9 then that becomes a barrier and limits o%r
%nderstanding o" others5 (ers(ectives. -any o" %s there"ore "ind it di""ic%lt to relate to others5
(oints o" vie). Mnderstanding others5 (oint o" vie) does not necessarily mean yo% agree also.
#o)ever i" yo% agree to disagree and still res(ect the others (oint o" vie)& many con"licts can
be handled by "inding common areas o" agreement.
Decision making is an integral (art o" comm%nication. #o) one comm%nicates and )hat
one )ants to comm%nicate is essentially a matter o" decision making. $very comm%nication
1?
sit%ation is essentially a decision making sit%ation. 6here are three stylistic res(onses to a
comm%nication sit%ation according to o%r (ersonality styles-- !ggressive& !ssertive and
*%bmissive. 1y observing )hat decisions )e make in o%r comm%nication res(onses tell %s a lot
abo%t o%r (ersonality styles and th%s can (otentially make %s conscio%s abo%t o%r e2isting and
o%r desired comm%nication style.
6o elaborate the above (oint& let there be three "riends !kmal& Pamal& and *itara in a
disc%ssion sit%ation& disc%ssing a to(ic that is sensitive. !kmal& being aggressive& )o%ld in all
(robability decide to dominate the comm%nication by e2erting his (oint o" vie) even at the
cost o" his "riends5 (leas%re. Pamal& being the s%bmissive one& )o%ld (robably (re"er silence as
the best o(tion to avoid any mis%nderstanding and con"lict altho%gh he may have a (oint o"
vie)K )hereas *itara& the assertive one& )o%ld more likely assert her (oint o" vie) )hile
res(ecting others (oint o" vie)K "oc%sing on not losing her "riends by desiring to score a (oint or
)in an arg%ment )hile at the same time maintaining her com(os%re and holding on to her
(oint o" vie) and yet being o(en to acce(t a di""erent (oint o" vie) i" convinced.
6he above comm%nication sit%ation is an e/%ally a((licable case in team making or
breaking. 8!ssertive9 comm%nication is as essential to team b%ilding as eyes are to sight.
'omm%nication by its very de"inition is a conscio%s e""ort thro%gh F%nderstanding5 and Fsharing5
meaning. Mnderstanding and sharing is the essence o" team b%ilding. 4itho%t comm%nication&
there cannot be %nderstanding and sharing and res%ltantly no team b%ilding.
1A
3.
Teac(ing A''roac(es
6he "ollo)ing teaching techni/%es )o%ld be ado(ted in this session to enable the learners to
better %nderstand the above key areas o" comm%nication& be "amiliar )ith the comm%nication
(rocess& and to identi"y the critical (arts involved in it.
6he session )o%ld "ollo) the "ollo)ing teaching techni/%es:
+o)er +oint slides (resentation
lect%ring
gro%( disc%ssion
)ork sheet activities and
%se o" reading material
'ase st%dies
+anel disc%ssions
'lass disc%ssions
+ersonal contracts
Debates
Q%estion and ans)er session
Demonstrations "ollo)ed by 0e(orts o" gro%( disc%ssions
+artici(ants (artici(ation
0ole (laying
1=
*(ecial re(orts
+artici(ants -(rod%ced material
Cro%( or individ%al (ro3ects
In-class assignments
*ym(osi%m
Intervie)s
,bservations
,%t-o"-class assignments 4orksho(s
@is%al aid disc%ssion and s%mmariNation
)$ Learning Acti!ities
'.1. (cti)ity 1
*tart )ith a )arm %( by sel" introd%ction and sharing t)o (ersonal strengths and
)eaknesses and then ask the (artici(ants to introd%ce themselves in the same manner.
'.2. (cti)ity 2
Mse an icebreaker to identi"y ho) many o" the (artici(ants think they are good
comm%nicators.
'.&. (cti)ity &
Distrib%te the )ork sheet on sel" a)areness to all the (artici(ants "or individ%al learning
activity.
'.'. (cti)ity '
Introd%ce the basic conce(t o" 'omm%nication by %sing the +o)er+oint slides.
20
'.*. (cti)ity *
+resent thro%gh lect%ring and generating gro%( disc%ssion on to(ics mentioned earlier.
'.+. (cti)ity +
!"ter covering the content and the e2ercises (resent the sel" assessment sheet to the
(artici(ants.
'.,. (cti)ity ,
Invite the (artici(ants to share as to ho) their a)areness to the session has a""ected
their learning o" comm%nication.
*$ Summar& and Transition
'omm%nication is a (rocess o" %nderstanding& sharing& and e2changing meanings )ith
each other. It5s a social need to comm%nicate. #o)ever& an academic gathering has more
signi"icance "or comm%nication& )here e2change o" kno)ledge and in"ormation is being held. In
a comm%nication (rocess there is a sender and a receiver )ho s%bse/%ently transmits
messageJs over a medi%m and a common %nderstanding is develo(ed.
6his session )ill be "ollo)ed by the second session covering the most common barriers
to comm%nication so as to enable the (artici(ants in identi"ying and handling them.
+$ Assessment
6rainees )o%ld be assessed d%ring the gro%( disc%ssion thro%gh giving their o)n
acco%nt o" their s(eci"ic sit%ations besides the "lo) o" ideas and %nderstanding
d%ring gro%( disc%ssion.
21
!ctivities cond%cted d%ring the session )o%ld also hel( assess the trainees.
!t the end& the trainees5 "eedback )ill also serve the (%r(ose o" learning
assessment.
22
Session II" Communication ,arriers
!"ter the com(letion o" this session the (artici(ants )o%ld be able to:
Identi"y barriers to e""ective comm%nication "o%nd in o%r daily li"e that are e/%ally
mani"est in an academic setting )hether it is "ac%lty-administrator& "ac%lty-"ac%lty or
"ac%lty-st%dent comm%nication.
$nlist the barriers kee(ing the basic (remise o" inside-o%t comm%nication.
Demonstrate the %nderstanding o" the )ays these barriers can b%l)ark e""ective
comm%nication.
6his session is oriented in a manner that )hile it )o%ld address the di""erent barriers to
comm%nicationK it )o%ld sim%ltaneo%sly strive to highlight as(ects integral to comm%nicating
e""ectively. 6his shall be done by identi"ying the di""erent )ays and means to overcome the
barriers. 6he ty(es o" barriers are very varied and need di""erent interventions. #o)ever&
greater signi"icance has been a)arded to the barriers related to (syche. 6his has been done
)ith the vie) that comm%nication is a mani"estation o" h%man behavior. 6o %nderstand
comm%nication and the comm%nication barriers h%man behavior has to be %nderstood.
2.1. Key Concept 1 Physio%o-ica% Barriers
+hysiological barriers may res%lt "rom individ%alsG (ersonal discom"ort& ca%sed& "or
23
e2am(le& by ill health& (oor eye sight& or hearing di""ic%lties. 6hese may also a""ect one5s
(ersonality in many di""erent and mostly negative )ays. It is im(erative to enable one5s
tho%ght (rocess to acce(t the realities and yet stay (ositive to c%rb the negativity that a""ect
one5s (erce(tion o" one5s o)n sel" in relation to others. 6his can best be handled by )orking
on develo(ing a (ositive (erce(tion as certain (hysiological "eat%res contrib%ting to barriers
may not be c%rable. I kno) a colleag%e )ho had stammering. I remember intervie)ing a
st%dent "or admission to o%r -1! (rogramme. I realiNed that he )as stammering and d%e to
that he )as having great di""ic%lty in ans)ering /%estions and given the additional stress o"
the intervie) I realiNed he )as even more conscio%s o" his inability and that in t%rn made him
s)eat. I (%t him at com"ort by telling him that he co%ld rela2 and take his time in giving the
ans)er and that his intervie) )o%ld be over 3%st by res(onding to one last /%estion. 6he
/%estion )as 8!re yo% determined eno%gh to co(e )ith the re/%irements o" the -1!
+rogramme that incl%de giving class (resentations9. I had tailored the /%estion to evoke a
res(onse that I )as so )illing to listen. I cannot "orget )atching his eyes glo) and )hile he
took his time in saying yes& the 8.$*9 )as so em(hatic that I kne) his (erce(tion o" his o)n
sel" is the motivational "orce rather than a barrier. I )as convinced that he )o%ld s%rely
com(lete the (rogramme. ot only did he com(lete his -1! )ith "lying colors& he also came
)ith his ne)ly-)ed )i"e to see me and 3%st say& 86hanksE9 I h%gged him and told his )i"e that
)hat a l%cky lady she )as to have him as her h%sband. -oral o" the story is that a )hile
(hysiological barrier stays a barrier it need not essentially become a so%rce o" (erce(t%al
barrier to comm%nication and s%ccess.
24
2.2. Key Concept 2 Physica% Barriers
+hysical barriers incl%de:
-arked o%t territories& em(ires& and "ie"doms into )hich strangers are not allo)ed
at the macro level
6he above is more mani"est at micro level in the sha(e o" closed o""ice doors& barrier
screens& se(arate areas "or (eo(le o" di""erent stat%s
Large )orking areas or )orking in one %nit that is (hysically se(arate "rom others.
0esearch sho)s that one o" the most im(ortant "actors in b%ilding cohesive teams is
(ro2imity. !s long as (eo(le still have a (ersonal s(ace that they can call their o)n& nearness to
others aids comm%nication beca%se it hel(s %s get to kno) one another. +ro2imity in di""erent
c%lt%res is di""erent and there"ore needs to be taken in the right conte2t. It has been observed
that (eo(le coming "rom r%ral backgro%nds )ith more (hysical s(ace available may not "eel
com"ortable in closed /%arters as they tend to have larger (ersonal s(aces as com(ared to
(eo(le living in %rban conditions. 6his as(ect alone can become a signi"icant (sychological
barrier i" they s%bconscio%sly "eel 8threatened9 by inadvertent 8invasion9 o" their (ersonal
s(ace in case an %rbanite a((roaches them in close (ro2imity considering it as a normal
(ersonal s(ace. 6here are n%mero%s acco%nts o" s%ch barriers that in certain cases s(ro%t o%t
o" c%lt%ral norms.
27
2.&. Key Concept & C"%t"ra% Barriers
4hen )e 3oin a gro%( and )ish to remain in it& sooner or later )e need to ado(t the
behavior (atterns o" the gro%(. 6hese are the behaviors that the gro%( acce(ts as signs o"
belonging.
6he gro%( re)ards s%ch behavior thro%gh acts o" recognition& a((roval& and incl%sion. In
gro%(s )hich are ha((y to acce(t yo% and )here yo% are ha((y to con"orm& there is a
m%t%ality o" interests and a high level o" )in-)in contact.
4here& ho)ever& there are barriers to yo%r membershi( o" a gro%(& a high level o"
game-(laying re(laces good comm%nication. It is interesting to note that )e can ada(t to
di""erent c%lt%re once )e come to acce(t it and a((reciate that c%lt%res are di""erent so that
)e can be recogniNed "rom others and that no s(eci"ic connotations need to be attached to one
c%lt%re or the other.
In a very interesting real e(isode o" ho) c%lt%ral barriers can be overcome& I shall
narrate the event o" an international con"erence that )as held in Islamabad back in 1==;. -any
(artici(ants "rom di""erent co%ntries re(resenting di""erent c%lt%res )ere (artici(ating. I having
kno)n the F)estern5 c%lt%re )as )ell a)are o" the co%rtesy o" shaking hands )ith ladies
besides gentlemen. #o)ever& the (ractice o" shaking hands )ith %nac/%ainted ladies is not
very common in o%r c%lt%re. In one s%ch comm%nication instance )here hand shaking )as
involved as a non-verbal mode o" comm%nication& I in order to sho) my %nderstanding o" the
)estern c%lt%re e2tended my hand "or a hand shake to -rs. <enny a"ter having shaken hands
)ith -r. <enny. 6he co%(le had come all the )ay "rom M*!. I )as totally s%r(rised and o"
co%rse "elt embarrassed to the core once I "o%nd that -rs. <enny avoided e2tending her hand
2;
and in "act )as restraining her hand at her back. I immediately e2tended my a(ologies sensing
that she )as "eeling embarrassed. I )as ho)ever rather am%sed to hear her saying 8sorry9 as
)ell. 6o o%r m%t%al relie" it trans(ired rather /%ickly that identical to )hat I )as doing& she )as
sho)ing her %nderstanding and res(ect "or o%r c%lt%re having learnt the 8dos9 and the 8don5ts9
o" o%r c%lt%re be"ore traveling to +akistan. It doesn5t end here "olks. In the s%bse/%ent days )e
had more interesting things to e2(erience. -r. <enny& I co%ld make o%t )as (retty am%sed and
yet con"%sed by many o" o%r +akistani and !rab "riends& h%gging each other. Looking at his
con"%sed looks I event%ally hel(ed him deci(her that it )as a normal c%lt%ral )ay o" greeting
one another and it comm%nicated 8brotherhood9. @ery interestingly in the s%bse/%ent days I
)atched him h%gging many o" the ne) "riends that he had made. #aving become "rank he
shared his being initially shocked at the c%lt%ral Fcomm%nication5 and thanked me in hel(ing
him %nderstand be"ore it co%ld have become a very strong barrier to comm%nication. !t dinner
on their last night at Islamabad )e e2changed gi"ts and be"ore (arting he h%gged me and -rs.
<enny shook hands )ith me la%ghingly. I s%rely have very "ond memories o" them.
2.'. Key Concept ' .an-"a-e Barriers
Lang%age that describes )hat )e )ant to say in o%r terms may (resent barriers to
others )ho are not "amiliar )ith o%r e2(ressions& b%NN-)ords& and 3argon. 4hen )e co%ch o%r
comm%nication in s%ch lang%age& it is a )ay o" e2cl%ding others. In a global setting the greatest
com(liment )e can (ay another (erson is to talk in their lang%age. Living lang%ages derive "rom
other lang%ages and s%ccess"%lly absorb and indigeniNe the borro)ed )ords and (hrases into
its %sage. ! dialect "or e2am(le )o%ld identi"y a (erson geogra(hically and identically certain
slang )o%ld reveal the c%lt%ral or gro%( orientation o" the (ersons s(eaking it. 6he same are
then barriers& i" s(oken in sit%ations and )ith (eo(le& )ho may not be able to relate to them.
2?
In a global conte2t& I can narrate yo% another instance o" some ne)ly ac/%ainted visitors
)ho had come "rom M*! and )anted to visit a "riend5s home here in Islamabad& +akistan. 4e
s(ent /%ite some time searching "or the residence and once )e )ere there& I co%ld hardly
restraint mysel" saying 8bingo9 lo%dly. I co%ld see that certainly the visitors became very e2cited
listening to this e2(ression coming "rom a non-native s(eaker o" $nglish lang%age. *ome ho) I
sensed )e crossed a lot many barriers 3%st by the %se o" one e2(ression. It )as very obvio%s
that )e )ere comm%nicating at a higher level o" %nderstanding on o%r 3o%rney backK )e )ere
talking very "rankly abo%t ho) the global )orld has necessitated kno)ing& %nderstanding&
acce(ting and res(ecting one another.
2.*. Key Concept * /ender Barriers
6here are distinct di""erences bet)een the s(eech (atterns in a man and those in a
)oman. Clobal st%dies s%ggest that a )oman s(eaks bet)een 22&000 and 27&000 )ords a day
)hereas a man s(eaks bet)een ?&000 and 10&000. In childhood& girls s(eak earlier than boys
and at the age o" three& have a vocab%lary t)ice that o" boys.
6he reason "or this lies in the )iring o" a manGs and )omanGs brains. 4hen a man talks&
his s(eech is located in the le"t side o" the brain b%t in no s(eci"ic area. 4hen a )oman talks&
the s(eech is located in both hemis(heres and in t)o s(eci"ic locations.
*cienti"ically s(eaking& a man talks in a linear& logical and com(artmentaliNed )ay& )hich
are the "eat%res o" le"t-brain thinkingK )hereas a )oman talks more "reely& mi2ing logic and
emotion& "eat%res o" both sides o" the brain. It also e2(lains )hy )omen talk "or m%ch longer
than men each day. It also e2(lains that )hy mothers can %nderstand and relate better to kids
H)ith a(ologies to "athersI. #ere I am re"erring to their ability o" %nderstanding and catering to
the emotional needs o" a child d%ring hisJher early years o" gro)th. It (robably also sheds light
2A
on )hy the -ontessori teachers ha((en to be generally )omen.
I am s%re yo% m%st have read or heard abo%t %&en are from &ars, 'omen are from
(enus) by Dr. Pohn Cray )herein he has "oc%sed on the yin yang that I have mentioned initially.
Msing an analogy he mentions that once %(on a time -artians and @en%sians met& "ell in love&
and had ha((y relationshi(s together beca%se they res(ected and acce(ted their di""erences.
6hen they came to earth and amnesia set in: they "orgot they )ere "rom di""erent (lanets.
Msing this meta(hor to ill%strate the commonly occ%rring con"licts bet)een men and
)omen& Cray e2(lains ho) these di""erences can become barriers and (rohibit m%t%ally
"%l"illing comm%nication and relationshi(s. 1ased on years o" s%ccess"%l co%nseling o" co%(les&
he gives advice on ho) to co%nteract these di""erences in comm%nication styles& emotional
needs and modes o" behavior to (romote a greater %nderstanding bet)een individ%al (artners.
Cray sho)s ho) men and )omen react di""erently in conversation and ho) their relationshi(s
are a""ected by male intimacy cycles HRget closeR& Rback o""RI& and "emale sel"-esteem
"l%ct%ations HRIGm okayR& RIGm not okayRI. #e enco%rages readers to acce(t the other genderGs
(artic%lar )ays o" e2(ressing themselves and hel(s men and )omen learn ho) to "%l"ill each
otherGs emotional needs thro%gh s%ccess"%l comm%nication.
6his disc%ssion is intended to generate on ho) to acce(t and res(ect the di""erences as
that o" 8 .in and .ang9 so as to red%ce con"lict& by s%ccess"%lly learning on ho) to inter(ret a
(artnerGs comm%nication and "or that matter behavior and methods "or (reventing emotional
Rtrash "rom the (astR that become (erce(t%al barriers "rom invading ne) relationshi(s.
2.+. Key Concept + 0nterpersona% Barriers
6here are si2 levels at )hich (eo(le can relate to one another. 6he "irst "ive res%lt in
2=
distance:
1. ,it#dra*al is an absence o" inter(ersonal contact. It is both re"%sals to be in
to%ch and time alone.
2. &ituals are meaningless& re(etitive ro%tines devoid o" real contact.
3. Pastimes "ill %( time )ith others in social b%t s%(er"icial activities.
4. ,or)ing acti'ities are those tasks )hich "ollo) the r%les and (roced%res o"
contact b%t do not essentially mean comm%nication
7. -ames are s%btle& mani(%lative interactions )hich are abo%t )inning and losing.
;. Closeness is the aim o" inter(ersonal contact )here there is a high level o"
honesty and acce(tance o" yo%rsel" and others.
2.,. Key Concept , Psycho%o-ica% Barriers to Comm"nication
#ere t)o ty(es o" (sychological barriers )o%ld be disc%ssed as they are the most
common ones viN.& +erce(t%al barriers and e2(eriential barriers. It is very interesting to note
that ho) o%r e2(eriences taint or color o%r (erce(tions. +erce(t%al barriers can signi"icantly
alter o%r %nderstanding and th%s a""ect o%r comm%nication. 6hey are dee( rooted and )ork in
con3%nction )ith o%r e2(eriences. $2(eriential barriers on the other hand become barriers by
virt%e o" not having e2(erienced them and res%ltantly the inter(retation and com(rehension is
altered.
2... /e0 concept 12 Experiential barriers
6he di""ic%lty in %nderstanding matters not (ersonally e2(erienced. 6he "ollo)ing is a
gra(hic (resentation o" ho) e2(eriences "orm o%r (erce(tion and schemata that in t%rn a""ects
o%r comm%nication.
30
Perception
Communication Involves
Others
Individual
Script
Experiences
Experiences
Family
E
x
p
e
r
i
e
n
c
e
s
Community
Schemata
Institutions
!s children )e interact )ith di""erent entities. ,%r e2(erience o" these entities mo%lds
o%r vie) o" the )orld. 6hese e2(eriences and in most cases the im(act stay )ith %s in the
sha(e o" scri(t all o%r lives %ntil o" co%rse )e conscio%sly re-)rite o%r scri(ts. 4hen children
e2(erience tra%ma at the hands o" tr%sted ad%lts Hes(ecially "amily membersI their emotional
link )ith the ad%lt )orld is severed& creating an emotional 8sto( on time9. 6hey are le"t )ith
three com(anions: g%ilt& "ear and "eelings o" in"eriority. 6hese three com(anions can stay on
thro%gho%t their ad%lt li"e governing (art or all o" their Fdecision making5 H+enny +arkes&
0esc%ing the inner childI.
In order to remove the veil& the gri( o" the conditioned and learnt behavior& )hich
covers these com(anions )e need to access the 'hild (art o" them )here these "eelings
originated and are still tra((ed. !ccessing the 'hild (art )ill enable them to reconnect that
broken the link )ith the ad%lt )orld. 6his reconnection can assist the (erson to re(air the
31
damage done d%ring childhood and conse/%ently begin to e2(erience a better /%ality o" li"e.
6he reconnection is bet)een the (erson5s 'hild (art and the !d%lt (art.
Let me narrate yo% another interesting e(isode o" t)in brothers. I )as )orking as a
cons%ltant "or an a%tomotive com(any and in the d%e co%rse o" time (artic%larly interacted
)ith t)o brothers )orking in the same com(any. ,ne day one o" them )as traveling )ith me
and thro%gh his body lang%age I co%ld make o%t that he )as not himsel" that day. I str%ck a
conversation )ith him 3%st to cheer him %(. D%ring o%r conversation& I asked him at one (oint
that he didn5t seem to be in high s(irits. #e agreed saying 8O yo% kno) I am over b%rdened
)ith a lot o" "amily matters having to single handedly resolve them9 I asked him that he co%ld
ask his brother to assist him as both o" them )ere living together. 6o this he res(onded by
saying 8yo% kno) all my "amily members have e2(ectations "rom me beca%se I am the elder
brother9 I s%r(risingly asked 8$lderL9 /%ali"ying it )ith 8 aren5t yo% t)insL9 he said 8.es )e are
b%t I am the elder oneO by "ive min%tes9. It took me a )hile to assimilate that& as my
(erce(t%al reality )o%ld inter(ret elder as some one )ho )o%ld at least be a year or so senior
to his sibling. In this real li"e e2am(le& %nderstandably& the 3script4 given to him by his (arents
)as that o" an elder brother. 6he same m%st have been rein"orced by other "amily members as
)ell as other entities.
!s an elder brother he )as e2(ected to behave in a certain manner. 6his )as his scri(t
and he )as trying to live %( to that scri(t. #is childhood e2(eriences "ormed his schema.
F*chema5 or F*chemata5 in +sychology is a (attern im(osed on com(le2 reality or e2(erience to
assist in e2(laining it& mediate (erce(tion& or g%ide res(onse H4iki(ediaI. It is the res(onse
behavior that evokes o%t o" a (erson5s vie) o" the )orld. !s mentioned earlier it %s%ally
develo(s in childhood and is drastically a""ected by tra%matic events. ,ne co%ld be raised )ith
32
kindness and generosity and their RschemataR )o%ld be that (eo(le are generally kind to each
other.
6his em(hatically reveals ho) com(le2 comm%nication co%ld be as e2(eriential barriers
have (ro"o%nd im(act and are not easily detectable being dee( rooted. 6he disc%ssion on ho)
this scri(t can be re-)ritten has been dealt )ith %nder the emotional barriers.
2...2 /e0 concept 52 Perceptual barriers
6he (roblem )ith comm%nicating )ith others is that )e all see the )orld di""erently. In
other )ords )e see )orld di""erently. I" )e didnGt& )e )o%ld have no need to comm%nicate:
something like e2trasensory (erce(tion )o%ld take its (lace. 6he selectivityJe2(os%re "ilters
that are develo(ed on the basis o" e2(erience or lack o" it (lay their (art. ! bad e2(erience
)o%ld (erce(t%ally block o%t %n(leasant things. 6his co%ld be in the sha(e o" avoiding it and i"
that is not (ossible by altering the behaviors i.e.& res(onse ty(es in di""erent )ays. *imilarly&
retention "ilters o%t things that "eel good& and gives the tendency to "orget those things that are
(ain"%l.
33
ATTITUDE
E!"#IO$%
COMM$&IC"'IO&
'!E I&SI(E )O$' P"%"(I*M OF
COMM$&IC"'IO&
PE%CEP'IO&
+"&*$"*E
O(, +"&*$"*E -./
#E%"+ +"&*$"*E 0./
C
O
N
S
C
I
O
U
S
N
E
S
S
I mentioned at the very beginning that this comm%nication mod%le is based on the
8Inside-,%t9 +aradigm o" 'omm%nication. !s o((osed to the method o" teaching
comm%nication in vog%e that "oc%ses more on the 8,%tside - In9K this model is based on
dra)ing o%t rather than st%""ing in. In other terms )e may teach as to )hat is 8a((ro(riate9 Ha
matter o" 3%dgment that may vary c%lt%rally also& not being an absol%te tr%thI to comm%nicate
in a sit%ation& b%t )hat i" that is not )hat )e )ant to comm%nicate. It also "oc%ses on ho) )e
comm%nicate as it is very interesting to see that many a times )e are saying the right things b%t
in a )rong manner. 6his obvio%sly becomes a barrier and in hind sight )e are le"t )ondering
that )hat )e )ere saying )as right then ho) come it did not generate the ty(e o" res(onse
that )e )ere e2(ecting. It is sim(ly beca%se )e comm%nicated a right thing )rongly.
34
6he inside-o%t (aradigm envisages that o%r (erce(tions are (rimarily designed by o%r
(ast e2(eriences and in t%rn "orm%late o%r attit%des to)ards li"e in general. 6he general
attit%de gets re"lected in o%r behaviors. 4e there"ore essentially behave the )ay )e are and
comm%nication is a mani"estation o" o%r behavior.
4e also kno) that comm%nication is de(endent on the modes o" lang%age i.e.& verbal
and non-verbal. ,%r e""ectiveness )ith the %se o" lang%age there"ore is not by any means o"
lesser im(ortance. #o)ever& i" )e concentrate on teaching lang%ages and here I am re"erring
to "oreign lang%ages in (artic%lar& )e may be handica((ed in terms o" its a((ro(riate %se both
in terms o" )hat needs to be comm%nicated and ho) it needs to be comm%nicated. Let me
share a very interesting 8case st%dy9 here. In an $nglish Lang%age 6eaching H$L6I co%rse namely
H6$ILI 6eaching $nglish as an International Lang%ageK back in year 1==7& I )as a (artici(ant. I
remember vividly that one o" o%r reso%rce (ersons -s. +atricia 1%rner d%ring her introd%ctory
session started co%ghing and almost lost her voice. *he "rantically tried to regain her voice and
her "ast diminishing con"idence& b%t all in vain. I had throat loNenges )ith me that I %sed to
carry )ith me as I needed them o"" and on mysel" to soothe my throat )hile teaching. I co%ld
relate to )hat she )as going thro%gh. I co%ld make o%t that she )as distressed and
8rel%ctantly9 a((roached her asking 8I" she )o%ld mind taking the loNenges9 I remember her
eyes almost goggled o%t at my /%estion. In her hoarse voice she said 8Do I mindK I am dying "or
itE9 *he declared me her hero "or resc%ing her& b%t )e had a good la%gh also at my rather naSve
)ay o" asking. ,nce I analyNed the conversation& I realiNed that it )as the c%lt%ral in"l%ence that
had sho)n in my asking. '%lt%rally& in o%r (art o" the )orld st%dents )o%ld o""er something
very reverently to their teachers and that reverence is sho)n by h%mbly asking i" the 8hel(9
)o%ld be acce(ted even tho%gh sJhe may be des(erate "or it and i" the teacher is gracio%s
37
eno%gh to acce(t then the st%dent considers it a matter o" honor.
4itho%t getting into the domain o" the in"l%enceJinter"erence o%r native or "irst
lang%age i.e.& L-1 may have on other lang%ages that )e have learned over a (eriod o" time& I am
strong (ro(onent o" internaliNing the "oreign lang%age. *im(ly (%t the grammar Btranslation
method )hich is the (redominant method o" teaching $nglish lang%age in o%r academic
instit%tions may be the easiest to %seK b%t not essentially the most e""ective. InternaliNing
there"ore )o%ld mean to have eno%gh mastery o" the lang%age that )e can think and i"
(ossible "eel in that lang%age. 4ell& I (resent this (remise to yo% as "ood "or tho%ght.
I" )e are made to learn to o%t)ardly behave and "or that matter comm%nicate
di""erently "rom )hat )e are intrinsically then (robably )e )o%ld not be comm%nicating. I am
not re"erring here to the iss%e o" a((ro(riateness. -ore (recisely (%t& i" )e contin%e to do that
i.e.& behave in a (artic%lar manner or say things that )e do not believe in and th%s do not
mean& other may "ind %s mani(%lative. 4e )o%ld be "r%strated at some (oint and time and in
the long r%n may be risking inner con"lict.
#o) o%r (erce(tions color o%r %nderstanding and res(onse to a sit%ation or (erson has
been bro%ght "orth thro%gh the "ollo)ing vis%al ill%sions:
Look at the di""erent (ict%res that "ollo) belo) and tell )hat do yo% seeL

3; Your perception and the way you see and
respond i.e., behave
In the above (ict%re do yo% see a goblet only or do yo% see conto%rs o" t)o "acesL
'an yo% see a lady hereL Imagine this lady entered the b%s yo% )ere traveling in. 4o%ld
yo% o""er her yo%r seat and )hy or )hy notL I" yes )o%ld it be beca%se she is /%ite old or
sim(ly beca%se she is yo%ng and looking gorgeo%s. I" not& )o%ld it be beca%se yo% think as an
old lady she )o%ld "eel (atroniNed and (robably react or beca%se the yo%ng lady )o%ld think
that yo% are being a little too co%rteo%sL #o) many o" yo% can see both ladies viN. the old and
the yo%ng one sim%ltaneo%sly in this Fone5 (ict%re.
3?
This is probably the
most famous
illusion of all time!
lmost everyone
has seen it! What do
you see at your first
!lance of this
illusion! "o you see
an old lady, or do
you see a youn!
woman?
They are both there!!
Is it the )ord liar only
or is there more to itL

'an yo% s(ot a
"ace hereL 1esides& sa2o(hone not being a m%sical instr%ment commonly (layed in di""erent
co%ntriesK do yo% think one )o%ld still be able to deci(her the sa2o(hone in the above (ict%reL
1y the )ay have yo% s(otted it yo%rsel"L
6hese ill%sions have been %sed to bring "orth the )ay o%r minds inter(ret )hat they
see. +erce(tion is reality "or all o" %s and changing one5s reality is very di""ic%lt. 6his a((lies to
o%r comm%nication Hi.e.& the )ay )e (erceive a (erson a""ects o%r )ay o" comm%nication )ith
3A
#s this man playin! a
sa$, or is there
somethin! more
here?
t first !lance,
what do you see%%
Could it be the
word &liar& or is it
somethin! more.
# would definitely
!ive this one a
second loo'!
that (erson and vice versaI. 6his diversity is )hat makes %s h%man and yet i" not conscio%s o"
o%r di""erent (erce(tions )e may generaliNe it and e2tend it to all in a s(eci"ic category on the
basis o" religion& nationality& caste and creed& tribe etc. this may t%rn o%t to be one o" the
biggest barriers to comm%nication. 6ry to "ill o%t the "ollo)ing and see ho) it may a""ect i" any
one belonging to the "ollo)ing ha((ened to be yo%r ne) colleag%e:
!ll !mericans are_________________________
!ll +akistanis are _________________________
!ll Indians are ___________________________
!ll -%slims are __________________________
!ll 1%ddhists are _________________________
!ll #ind%s are ___________________________
!ll 'hristians are _________________________
!ll men are _____________________________
!ll )omen are ___________________________
!lternatively& imagine a class )here all the above mentioned )ere (resent. Do yo% think
the ans)ers to the blanks )o%ld be the sameL I" these ans)ers )ere to be shared )ith all do
yo% think all )o%ld agree to )hatever )o%ld have been )ritten abo%t themL I am (ositive yo%
have %nderstood the (oint.
2..." /e0 concept 62 Emotional barriers
,ne o" the other chie" (sychological barriers to o(en and "ree comm%nication is the
emotional barrier. It is com(rised mainly o" "ear& mistr%st& and s%s(icion. !s mentioned earlier
3=
the roots o" o%r emotional mistr%st o" others lie in o%r childhood and in"ancy )hen )e )ere
ta%ght to be care"%l )hat )e said to others.
R-ind yo%r +Gs and QGsRK RDonGt s(eak %ntil yo%Gre s(oken toRK R'hildren sho%ld be seen
and not heardR. !s a res%lt& many (eo(le hold back "rom comm%nicating their tho%ghts and
"eelings to others beca%se they "eel v%lnerable. 4hile some ca%tion may be )ise in certain
relationshi(s& e2cessive "ear o" )hat others might think o" %s can st%nt o%r develo(ment into
e""ective comm%nicators and o%r ability to "orm meaning"%l relationshi(s. $motions in"l%ence
both o%r s(eech and o%r listening. In many cases emotions may sto( %s "rom saying many
things and in other instance may make %s say things that )e never )anted to say. 6he "act that
)e are emotional beings necessitates that ideally )e sho%ld be emotionally intelligent as
(ro(o%nded by Daniel Coleman in his book 8$motional Intelligence9. $motional intelligence is
abo%t kee(ing the balance right bet)een emotions and intelligence i.e.& being symbolically
re(resented by heart and mind res(ectively. Imbalance bet)een these )o%ld ca%se a barrier.
#o) to achieve that balance is the most intrig%ing /%estion. Civen belo) is an attem(t to
e2(lore an e""ective method o" achieving that coveted balance thro%gh %sing $astern
literat%re5s )isdom and !rabic lang%age base.
8Q%lb9 is an !rabic )ord "or heart and derived "rom its root 8/alaba9& )hich means a
meeting (oint or )here amalgamation takes (lace. 6his meeting decides o%r behavior. ,%r
decision )o%ld vary according to o%r dis(osition. ,%r decision gets its mani"estation in o%r
behavior. ,%r behavior may be balanced or imbalanced. *%bse/%ently& o%r comm%nication may
or may not be balanced. FQ%lb5 gets in"l%enced by o%tside interventions that "orm o%r
e2(eriences as mentioned earlier. 6hese interventions are e2(erienced thro%gh o%r senses and
get registered. ,%r intellect deci(hers these e2(eriences. In other )ords it tries to rationaliNe
40
the e2(eriences so that )e can %nderstand those e2(eriences and i" (ossible relate to them.
!s a st%dent o" literat%re& I have "o%nd that heart has been %sed as a symbol
e2tensively. $ven in o%r daily conversations )e have come across e2(ressions s%ch as 8)ith a
heavy heart9& 8my heart lea(s "orth9& 8my heart throbs in (ain9& 8my heart says9. #eart has also
been at the centre o" (oetry in di""erent literat%res and has been associated )ith emotions.
,ne )onders& )hy heartL 6here has to be a reason "or this. 4hile heart has been the symbolic
re(resentation o" emotionK brains5 "%nctioning as mind has been re(resentative o" intelligence.
I remember as a yo%ng st%dent I al)ays gave a logical e2(lanation to my (arents to convince
them that I )anted to go to a "riend o" mine "or 83oint st%dy9 as he )as good in st%diesK
)hereas in "act I 3%st )anted to be in his com(any beca%se that F"elt5 good. 4e did st%dy
together b%t that )as not the motivation. -y FQ%lb9 )as in"l%enced more by my emotion and
conse/%ently my decision )as based on my emotional need b%t I rationaliNed it to make it
acce(table& it being a )orld that is (redominantly in"l%enced by rationality and intelligence.
$arlier& IQ )as the criterion "or s%ccess& b%t ne) st%dies have stressed that $Q is e/%ally
im(ortant i" not more. *cienti"ic research has also %sed emotional balance as one o" the
criterion to ascertain a (erson5s (sychological normality. -y o)n dee( st%dy o" schiNo(hrenic
(atients has revealed that they "ail to be sociable and %nable to relate to the rest o" the )orld
beca%se they are (rimarily %nable to e2(erience reality and th%s manage their behavior
accordingly. 6heir comm%nication is irrelevant and dis3ointed. ,ne )o%ld "ind their
comm%nication incoherent and incohesive. 6heir emotional state is res%ltantly %nstable and
%n(redictable (rimarily d%e to their hall%cinations and virt%al e2(eriences. *%r(risingly& some
o" them sho) signs o" high intelligence. #ave yo% ever observed the lack o" e2(ressions or
e2(ressions that yo% "ail to inter(ret on the "ace o" a (erson& )ho is mentally illL In non-verbal
lang%age there are "acial e2(ressions that reveal emotions& b%t I )onder i" there are "acial
41
e2(ressions "or intelligence. *ome do mention 8intelligent eyes9 re"erring to bright eyes& b%t
then ho) many o" %s have bright eyes and )hat abo%t the rest o" %s not having themL Cood
"ood "or tho%ghtE
Let me address the main /%estion& 8#o) to maintain the balanceL9 8Q%lb9 or heart in
!rabic s(eech im(orts both the seat o" intelligent "ac%lties and %nderstanding as )ell as the seat
o" a""ection and emotions. In di""erent s(irit%al literat%re there is also the re"erence abo%t
(eo(le )ho may have their (hysical eyes and ears& b%t their hearts are 8blind9 and 8dea"9.
8Q%lb9 is then a decision making "ac%lty )here emotions and intellect or "or that matter logic
meet. Derived "rom its !rabic origin and %sage this term has been )idely re"erred to in
s(irit%ality and meta(hysics. #o)ever& its inter(retation on the basis o" (%re sciences may be
di""ic%lt as it e2(eriential in nat%re. $instein co%ld not see )ith eyes the enormity o" the %niverse
or its dimension& b%t he vis%aliNed in his mind5s eye the mathematical (ict%re o" the %niverse as
does +ro"essor #a)kings. 1ased on their holistic %nderstanding o" the matter they have come %(
)ith e2(lanation that allo)s %s to inter(ret the (arts thereo".

I generally ask a /%estion that I shall ask yo%. #o) does a FC%lab Paman5 tasteL o)
those )ho do not kno)& FC%lab Paman5 is a s)eet dessert and tastes best )hen served hot in
syr%(. Interestingly& I )itnessed an almost identical sit%ation d%ring the )orksho( arranged by
#$' "or the develo(ment o" the +'$+6 mod%les. D%ring the l%nch break )hile selecting a dessert
Dr. Pohn Dirk2 got attracted by 8C%lab Paman9 and asked one o" the mod%le leaders there 8#o)
does it tasteL9 and o" co%rse the ans)er )as 8.o% have to eat it to kno) that9. I am s%re yo%
)o%ld remember the commonly /%oted 8the taste o" the (%dding is in its eating9. I am con"ident
that Pohn remembers the name still and ho(e"%lly the taste also. 6aste is an e2(erience and only
those )ho have eaten FC%lab Paman5 )o%ld kno) ho) it act%ally tastes. o e2(lanation can
describe the e2(erience. o) %sing this very sim(le analogy& I am going to attem(t a rather
42
(hiloso(hically s(irit%al i" not meta(hysical e2(lanation o" ho) one co%ld balance the emotions
and intellect.
Intellect believesK the heart kno)s. I/bal& the great (hiloso(her and (oet "amo%sly
kno)n as the (oet o" the $ast re"ers to it as 8Dil e 1eena9 B the envisioning heart or better still
an enlightened heart. $nlightened heart is the one that has a com(lete (ict%re o" things
kno)ing the di""erent (ers(ectives and there"ore is not lo(sided. 0es%ltantly& it is balanced. In
here is the invitation to %nderstand and th%s behave at a raised level o" conscio%sness and
a)areness by s)itching o%r modes o" cognition to a ne) dimension thro%gh a heart that sees.
I/bal5s 8Dil-e-1ina9Bthe seeing heart is then a gate)ay to *%(er- 'onscio%sness i.e.&
conscio%sness o" the *%(reme 1eing. ,%r a)areness o" the *%(er-'onscio%sness is then )hat
a""ects o%r behavio%r. 6his conscio%sness on o%r (art is re"erred to as R6a/)aR in !rabic. *o the
R-%ta//iR is the one )ho is in a state o" R6a/)aR i.e.& state o" conscio%sness. 6he one )ho is
conscio%s is sel"-a)are. ,ne can only be sel" a)are in the (resent. *el" Ba)areness brings yo%
to the reality o" (resence. +resent allo)s yo% re(entance "or (ast and ho(e "or "%t%re. *o& all
that )e have is the (resent. +ast B a reality then is gone and has t%rned into an ill%sionK "%t%re
is already ill%sion as it5s not kno)n. It may e2ist b%t )e do not kno) )hether )e )o%ld e2ist
also. I" )e e2ist thenK it )o%ld be o%r (resent then. I" )e do not it does not e2ist "or %s
,ne& )ho is sel" a)are& kno)s onesel" and according to I/bal& kno)s Cod. ,%r
conscio%sness o" Cod BR6a/)aR is con"irmed thro%gh kno)ing #is instr%ctions or scri(t%re. 6he
kno)ledge o" the instr%ctions in the scri(t%re allo)s %s to select a scri(t "or o%rselves. 6he
GDosG and the GDon5tsG are de"ined by the 'reator& )ho has created the la)s o" nat%re also. ,%r
s%bmission to #is GDosG and GDon5tsG alters o%r behavior and brings %s in harmony and (eace
)ith the nat%re& the )orld and its (eo(le and most signi"icantly )ith o%rselves. 6his ne) scri(t
43
allo)s %s to behave a((ro(riately. 6he a((ro(riateness is decided not by o%r )orldly scri(t o"
childhood& b%t by the scri(t that )e chose "or o%rselves as conscio%s beings. ,%r (re-
determined scri(ts o" )orldly e2(eriences get checked by this s%(er-scri(t. In case o"
consonance it gets acted %(on and in case o" dissonance it gets re3ected. It is this stage that
allo)s %s to re-)rite o%r scri(t as (er the in3%nctions. 6hese are the (erennial val%es that are
common to all& b%t (racticed by "e). Dor those )ho e2(erience it and (ractice it& the %ltimate
o%tcome is a balanced (ersonality )ith a balanced behavior and obvio%sly balanced
comm%nication. I" yo% )ant to kno) )hether it )orks or not& I invite yo% to e2(erience it.
Stri!ing the *ight 'alance
I Intelligence,-ogic .I/
I 0motions .0/
QULB
Intellect Emotions
SC%IP' )$%E
.o% can start re-)riting yo%r scri(t by observing sim(le val%es in yo% interactions )ith
others. 6he intellect and val%es (racticed as (rinci(les in synergy )o%ld bring (eace.6he same
)o%ld get its mani"estation in yo%r behavior and s%bse/%ently comm%nication:
44
#alues1The Greatest
Wisdom is Kindness!
Use Values as
Principles !
The" #ill
Sho$ in %our
Beha&ior '
Communication
Intellect1 Be Worldly
Wise
Intellect( Be rewarded
Values( Love is its own
reward
Intellect( We make a living by what we get
Values( We make a life by what we give

Intellect( We must have friends
for the times of need
Values( To have a friend you
must be a friend
47
Intellect( To )e popular people must )elie&e in "ou
Intellect( To )e popular people must )elie&e in "ou
Values( People *on +t al$a"s )elie&e $hat "ou
sa")ut the" $ill al$a"s )elie&e $hat "ou *o!

Intellect( You must strive for
happiness
Values( Simplicity is the
path to true happiness
Intellect( I must have all that I desire
Values( It s e! who knows what you
deserve

4;
2...$ /e0 concept 2 7idden agendas
#idden !gendas serve t)o "%nctions:
2...$.2 Individ%al5s strategy "or (oor sel"-esteem. 6his is mostly in cases )here the
(ersonality is a s%bmissive one. In s%ch cases the comm%nication can t%rn sly and mani(%lative
as one does no have the co%rage to comm%nicate o(enly. 6his is (artic%larly the case as one is
al)ays a((rehensive o" others di""ering (oint o" vie) and is "ear"%l o" annoying the other
(erson& not being con"ident o" handling a comm%nication sit%ation i" there )as one re/%iring
assertive handling. 6his generally is not malignant in nat%re and more o" a sel" de"ense
mechanism.
2...$.22 +romote %lterior motives and needs. ,ne may be"ool one at one time and b%t
not all at all times. I" a (erson is kno)n to (romote one5s %lterior motives and needs either by
being aggressive or by being covertly s%bmissiveK sooner or later it )o%ld become a ma3or
comm%nication barrier. It generally creates a )in-lose sit%ation and does not )ork in
establishing tr%st& )hich is a basic (remise "or e""ective and (%r(ose"%l comm%nication.
2...% /e0 Concept 22 Stereot0pes
*tereoty(es are mental images and e2(ectations. *tereoty(es (rovide a shortc%t to
"orm an o(inion o" someone. 4e tend to get o(inionated sooner or later and it becomes
di""ic%lt to change o(inions. ,(inions give %s a base to relate to others. #%mans are very
diverse by nat%re )hereas stereoty(ing them in categories )ith s(eci"ic characteristics is very
common and there"ore it also becomes one o" the most common barriers to comm%nication.
4?
2...( /e0 concept "2 Ego defense mec#anism8self-preser'ation
Let %s start by identi"ying )hat is ego. In *igm%nd Dre%dGs to(ogra(hical model o"
(ersonality& the ego is the as(ect o" (ersonality that deals )ith reality. 4hile doing this& the ego
also has to co(e )ith the con"licting demands o" the id and the s%(erego. 6he id seeks to "%l"ill
all )ants& needs& and im(%lses )hile the s%(erego tries to get the ego to act in an idealistic and
moral manner.
4hat ha((ens )hen the ego cannot deal )ith the demands o" o%r desires& the
constraints o" reality& and o%r o)n moral standardsL !ccording to Dre%d& anxiet0 is an
%n(leasant inner state that (eo(le seek to avoid. !n2iety acts as a signal to the ego that things
are not going right.
Dre%d identi"ied three ty(es o" an2iety:
1. 9eurotic anxiet0 is the %nconscio%s )orry that )e )ill lose control o" the idGs %rges&
res%lting in (%nishment "or ina((ro(riate behavior.
2. &ealit0 anxiet0 is "ear o" real-)orld events. 6he ca%se o" this an2iety is %s%ally easily
identi"ied. Dor e2am(le& a (erson might "ear receiving a dog bite )hen they are near a
menacing dog. 6he most common )ay o" red%cing this an2iety is to avoid the
threatening ob3ect.
3. :oral anxiet0 involves a "ear o" violating o%r o)n moral (rinci(les.
In order to deal )ith this an2iety& Dre%d believed that de"ense mechanisms hel( shield the
ego "rom the con"licts created by the id& s%(erego& and reality.
$goGs 3ob is to satis"y the idGs im(%lses& not o""end the moralistic character o" the
s%(erego& )hile still taking into consideration the reality o" the sit%ation. 6his is not an easy
4A
3ob. 6hink o" the id as the Gdevil on yo%r sho%lderG and the s%(erego as the Gangel o" yo%r
sho%lder.G 4e donGt )ant either one to get too strong so )e talk to both o" them& hear their
(ers(ective and then make a decision. 6his decision is the ego talking& the one looking "or that
healthy balance.
o) the ego has a di""ic%lt time satis"ying both the id and the s%(erego& b%t it doesnGt
have to do so )itho%t hel(. 6he ego has some tools it can %se in its 3ob as the mediatorK tools
that hel( de"end the ego. 6hese are called Ego Defense :ec#anisms or De"enses. 4hen the
ego has a di""ic%lt time making both the id and the s%(erego ha((y& it )ill em(loy one or more
o" these de"enses:
D$D$*$ D$*'0I+6I, ',--MI'!6I, 1!00I$0 $T!-+L$
Denial arg%ing against an an2iety
(rovoking stim%li by stating it
doesnGt e2ist
denying that yo%r (hysicianGs diagnosis o" a serio%s
illness is correct and seeking a second o(inion
Dis(lacement taking o%t im(%lses on a less
threatening target
slamming a door instead o" hitting a (erson& yelling
at yo%r s(o%se a"ter an arg%ment )ith yo%r boss
intellect%aliNation avoiding %nacce(table
emotions by "oc%sing on the
intellect%al as(ects
"oc%sing on the details o" a "%neral as o((osed to
the sadness and grie"
+ro3ection (lacing %nacce(table im(%lses
in yo%rsel" onto someone else
)hen losing an arg%ment& yo% state R.o%Gre 3%st
*t%(idKR homo(hobia
rationaliNation s%((lying a logical or rational
reason as o((osed to the real
reason
stating that yo% )ere "ired beca%se yo% didnGt
ad%late the boss& )hen the real reason )as yo%r
(oor (er"ormance
4=
reaction "ormation taking the o((osite belie"
beca%se the tr%e belie" ca%ses
an2iety
demonstrating a bias against a (artic%lar race or
c%lt%re and then embracing that race or c%lt%re to
the e2treme
0egression ret%rning to a (revio%s stage
o" develo(ment
sitting in a corner and crying a"ter hearing bad
ne)sK thro)ing a tem(er tantr%m )hen yo% donGt
get yo%r )ay
0e(ression (%lling into the %nconscio%s "orgetting ab%se "rom yo%r childhood d%e to the
tra%ma and an2iety
*%blimation acting o%t %nacce(table
im(%lses in a socially
acce(table )ay
s%blimating yo%r aggressive im(%lses to)ard a
career as a bo2erK becoming a s%rgeon beca%se o"
yo%r desire to c%tK li"ting )eights to release G(ent
%(G energy
*%((ression (%shing into the %nconscio%s trying to "orget something that ca%ses yo% an2iety

!s evident "rom above& ego de"enses are not necessarily %nhealthy ho)ever the inability
to %se them e""ectively can o"ten become serio%s barriers. 6his is tr%e )hen )e sometimes
em(loy the de"enses at the )rong time or over%se them& )hich can be e/%ally (roblematic and
destr%ctive o" relationshi(s.
3.
Teac(ing A''roac(es
lect%ring
70
gro%( disc%ssion
%se o" reading material
'ase st%dies
+anel disc%ssions
'lass disc%ssions
+ersonal contracts
Debates
0ole (laying
*(ecial re(orts
*ym(osi%m
Intervie)s
,bservations
71
'.1. (cti)ity 1
*tart the session )ith (revio%s session revie) so the (artici(ants can recall the conce(ts
learned earlier.
'.2. (cti)ity 2
Mse )arm %( activity by asking the (artici(ants i" they kne) )hat ty(e o" barriers there
co%ld be to comm%nication. 1esides& )hat kind o" hindrances they might have come across
d%ring a comm%nication e2change (rocess. 6his )o%ld serve the mod%le leaderJtrainer to make
the (artici(ants conscio%s abo%t the el%sive role barriers (lay in o%r comm%nication break
do)n.
'.&. (cti)ity &
!sk the (artici(ants to brain storm on the di""erent hindrances identi"ied in activity 2
)ith the (%r(ose o" categoriNing or classi"ying them.
'.'. (cti)ity '
Introd%ce the barriers to comm%nication by %sing the available +o)er +oint slides and
(resent thro%gh lect%ring and generating gro%( disc%ssion on to(ics mentioned earlier.
72
'.*. (cti)ity *
Msing 0ole (lay d%ring the session to comm%nicate on iss%es that evoke (sychological
res(onses and highlighting them and asking others to observe and take notes.
'.+. (cti)ity +
!ssign the (sychological blocks activity to the trainees and ask the (artici(ants to
(resent accordingly.
'.,. (cti)ity ,
Invite the (artici(ants to share as to ho) their a)areness abo%t the di""erent barriers and the
remedies )o%ld enable them to handle the barriers thro%gh intros(ection and incor(orating the ne)
learning.
1arriers to comm%nication "or one reason or the other o"ten get neglected. <no)ing
them is synonymo%s to kno)ing abo%t one5s o)n barriers s(ro%ting o%t o" one5s (ersonality.
6he main (%r(ose o" this session is to make the teachers conscio%s abo%t their o)n barriers to
comm%nication and later to be able to identi"y the barriers that their st%dents may be "acing.
6his )o%ld allo) them greater ease in comm%nicating and more im(ortantly bridging the ga(s
that (ose im(ediments to e""ective teaching and learning. 'omm%nication and related to(ics
do not "orm an integral (art o" all the teacher5s training. -any bene"iciaries o" this mod%le5s
session )o%ld be teachers and "ac%lty members coming "rom di""erent back gro%nds s%ch as
(%re and nat%ral sciences and conse/%ently they are not "amiliar )ith the science o"
comm%nication. 6hey are (rimarily not a)are o" the barriers to their o)n comm%nication in
73
their o)n )ork environment and more so in their academic setting& thereby creating distorted
comm%nication or even )orse& total break do)n o" comm%nication. 6he transmission o"
kno)ledge& that o%r e2am "oc%sed academic system %s%ally re/%ires& do not leave any room "or
inter-(ersonal and intra-(ersonal barriers to comm%nication as disc%ssed above. 6he di""erent
barriers to comm%nication disc%ssed in the session have been identi"ied and selected d%e to
their (otent role and signi"icance in the academic settings.
6he "ollo)ing session Hi.e.& session 3I is based on the many (sychological (rece(ts dealt
)ith here and )o%ld allo) the (artici(ants to develo( their %nderstanding abo%t the di""erent
(ersona involved in comm%nication.
+$ Assessment
+artici(ants )o%ld be assessed d%ring the gro%( disc%ssion.
+artici(ants5 acco%nt o" their o)n comm%nication barriers both (ast and (resent
)o%ld be the benchmark "or assessment.
!ctivities based )ork sheets d%ring the session )o%ld be %tiliNed to assess the
trainees.
!t the end& the (artici(ants5 comments on the di""erent comm%nication barriers
that they )o%ld have identi"ied d%ring the session )o%ld serve the (%r(ose o"
learning assessment.
74
Session III" Communication - Sel.
!"ter the com(letion o" this session the (artici(ants )o%ld be able:
6o %nderstand the c%lt%ral in"l%ence in deciding names and )hat it
comm%nicates.
6o com(rehend the role names (lay in develo(ing the sel"-conce(t
6o e""ectively %tiliNe the kno)ledge abo%t names in im(roving the sel"-image
6o %tiliNe the name Bbased conce(t o" sel" to enhance comm%nication
6raditionally& (eo(le believe that names in"l%ence a childGs (ersonality. 4hy else )o%ld
(arents go to s%ch (ains in "inding the (er"ect name "or their %nborn or ne)ly born childL
2.1. Key Concept 1 1he Psyche of Se%ectin- 2ames
!(art "rom giving a (erson identity& names also
sha(e (ersonalities and a""ect (ersonal gro)th in )ays
both s%btle and strange. 1%t )hile some o" %s
conscio%sly realiNe it& others donGt s(are it any tho%ght.
*igm%nd Dre%d& the "ather o" modern
(sychoanalysis& o"ten began his (sychoanalysis
sessions by asking a (erson abo%t hisJher name. It )as
77
What(s in a name?
I %mericans name their children after
relatives, entertainers, famous people
I Man Spanish 1spea!ing males are
named after &esus 2%S3
I Muslim males are named after
Muhammad 2P'U43
I 5hao #i, a )hinese name commands a
daughter to bring to the famil a ounger
brother, while 6expelling7 more ounger
sisters."
I #oes our name influence what ou
thin! of ourself8
I #oes our name affect how, when, and
with whom ou communicate8....what7s
in a name 89
sim(ly based on this realiNation that the names that (eo(le have in"l%ence them one )ay or the
other. 6he names that (arents o(t "or their children re(resent the (syche o" the (arents and
"amily or society at large. Drom a (sychological (oint o" vie)& I have observed that many
(arents name their babies a"ter a (erson they (artic%larly like. 6his can be a "riend& another
"amily member& themselves Haltho%gh this has "allen o%t o" "ashion in most o" $%ro(e being
reminiscent o" old-"ashioned monarchist (racticesI& b%t more and more o"ten a"ter a celebrity.
6he 'hinese e2am(le given in the beginning is a good (ortrayal o" the 'hinese (arents5
desire "or a male child& (robably ho(ing that he )o%ld look a"ter them in the old age. 'hinese
(olicy and (ractice o" not having more than t)o children seems to have (layed its role in
develo(ing this thinking. 6he name 8Uhao Di9 as indicated above comm%nicates a lot abo%t the
'hinese desire and thinking as in"l%enced by circ%mstances (ec%liar to them. P%st to "%rther
highlight the (ointK imagine an enlightened +akistani believing that da%ghters are a 8 blessing
"rom Cod9 as (er one o" the religio%s sayings )ished the same to hisJher 'hinese co%nter(art.
6he 'hinese may very )ell take it as a very %nkind )ishK )hereas the +akistani might get
s%r(rised by not getting heart"elt thanks "rom the 'hinese "or his best )ishes.
2.2.
Key Concept 2 2ames and their Connotations
!nother (o(%lar trend& es(ecially d%ring the 1=th and early 20th cent%ry& )as to name
children a"ter religio%s characters. 1iblical names Pohn and -ary have been the most common
in 4estern $%ro(e "or at least ?00 years. !n identical (ractice is still e2tremely common in
-%slim co%ntries& )here a very high n%mber o" (arents tend to name their male o""s(ring
-%hammad a"ter the #oly +ro(het H-ay (eace be %(on himI or his com(anions and other
religio%s "ig%res. ! name s%ch as !shi/ #%ssain )as s%((osedly meant to be 8!shi/-e-#%ssain9
H6he lover o" #%ssainI. #ere #%ssain Hblessings o" !llah be %(on himI being one o" the grand
7;
sons o" the #oly +ro(het -%hammad H+1M#I )o%ld change the )hole conte2t to that o"
reverence. Identically& the reason Pohn has become s%ch a )ides(read given name (artic%larly
in all $%ro(e is beca%se Pohn )as the RmainR a(ostle in 'hristianity. !ll 1iblical names have
translations in all $%ro(ean lang%ages& as o((osed to +agan names H'eltic& Cermanic& *lavic&
1as/%e& etc.I.
Cirls5 names are "o%nd in more variety ranging "rom names a"ter some religio%s and
s(irit%al lady or some stream in +aradise to "lo)ers5 names incl%ding some names denoting
com"ort and bea%ty etc. Dlo)er names are also "airly (o(%lar in 'hinese names "or girls. *ara is
a common -%slim name in +akistan "or girls )hereas the name is also %sed by Pe)ish girls )ith
a slightly di""erent accented (ron%nciation. *emantic names are also %sed in 4estern co%ntries.
*ome girls are given "lo)er names He.g. 0oseI. ,ld Cermanic and Creek names are ty(ically
com(o%nded ad3ectives )ith (ositive attrib%tes& 3%st like 'hinese characters.
-any $ast !sians choose baby names based on the signi"icance o" the H'hineseI
characters& and on the l%ck associated )ith the n%mber o" strokes "or all the characters. In
Pa(an& )here characters can be read in 2 or more di""erent )ays HR,nR or R<%nR readingI& it
sometimes ha((en that some (eo(le H%s%ally menI have a name that can be read in t)o
com(letely di""erent )ays.
!nother )ay o" naming a child is 3%st to select a name that so%nds good to hear&
)hatever its meaning or origin. 6his is increasingly common no)adays.
!ccording to a 11' article& some names ha((en to be more s%ccess"%l than others& some so%nd
more attractive& and some con"er more l%ck. 6his may 3%st be a statistical observation. 6he tr%e
(sychology behind names is "ar too (ersonal to be generaliNed in this )ay.
7?
#o)ever& i" one is called Pes%s H(robably a Latin !mericanI& !braham H(robably a orth
!mericanI& or -ohammed& chances are that they )ill "eel closer to the religion associated to
that name than in case i" they did not have a religio%s name. *o some names do have a
(sychological im(act that can be some)hat generaliNed& tho%gh individ%al mindset& c%lt%re and
oneGs environment )ill in"l%ence this in vario%s )ays& sometimes giving it a com(letely di""erent
direction as co%ld have been e2(ected.
6he association o" a "amo%s (erson in history )ith oneGs name Hes(ecially i" it is a not so
common oneI is bo%nd to have a (sychological e""ect on the (erson& even %nconscio%sly. It can
also have an e""ect on ho) other (eo(le see that (erson. eedless to say that a boy called
*ieg"ried )ill evoke the imagination in other (eo(le o" the legendary dragon slayer. 6his is
beca%se it is a very rare name no)adays& and thatGs the only association most (eo(le )ill have
)ith that name. ,n the other hand& 1iblical names are so common that a (erson called David
has little chance o" reminding "irst o" <ing David& as o((osed to say David 1eckham& David
1o)ie& or other modern celebrities.
,%r image o" the attractiveness or s%ccess linked to a name is highly in"l%enced by
"amily and ac/%aintances and celebrities. 'elebrities also incl%de historical ones. It is hard to be
called Lo%isJLe)is )itho%t ever thinking abo%t the kings o" Drance.
6he (sychology o" names is a com(le2 matter b%t the im(ortant thing is "or each o" %s
to %nderstand )hat o%r name means to o%rselves and (eo(le )e meet in the c%lt%re and
society in )hich )e live& and ho) the image re"lected by others in"l%ences o%r o)n image o"
o%rselves.
7A
2.3.
Key Concept & !hat do 2ames Comm"nicate#
6he ed%cational backgro%nd o" the (arents (lays a signi"icant role in the nameJs
selection "or their children. 6here are a n%mber o" (eo(le& )ho 3%st %se their names5 initials to
save themselves "rom the embarrassment that they "eel beca%se o" the l%dicro%s names ke(t
by their (arents. 6hese names have been ke(t either by virt%e o" the (arents lack o" ed%cation
or sim(ly beca%se the names )ere common in their generation5s time. I kno) a n%mber o"
(ersons )ho "eel act%ally st%ck )ith these names "or the rest o" their lives. ,ne s%ch e2am(le is
86aNa <han9& )ho (re"ers to be identi"ied as 6! <han. #is rel%ctance is %nderstandable beca%se
86aNa9& means 8Dresh9 and i" literally translated it means 8Dresh <han9. #e is called )ith his "%ll
name back in his home to)n beca%se s%ch 8r%ral9 names are common there. #o)ever& a"ter
having traveled abroad and lived in 8%rban9 modern cities& he seems to have become rather
conscio%s o" his name and th%s (re"ers %sing the initials 6! <han. De) other e2am(les incl%de
names s%ch as 86or C%l9 meaning F1lack Dlo)er5. 6his name is generally o" men )ith dark
com(le2ion. Its e/%ivalent in +%n3abi lang%age is 8<ala *hah9 meaning the F1lack <ing5. ,ther
e2am(les o" names incl%de 8*(een C%l9 H4hite Dlo)erI& Panat C%l HDlo)er "rom +aradiseI etc.
6hese are "e) o" the names that the ed%cated %rbanites )o%ld rarely %se "or naming their
children. In r%ral areas some o" these may still be common. e) names having originated "rom
other lang%ages s%ch as +ersian& !rabic and 6%rkish are becoming common in the +akistani
c%lt%re. @ery interestingly names that are a bit orthodo2 indicate or re(resent rather lo)er
strata o" least ed%cated segment o" the society. *to((ing short o" generaliNing it& the kinds o"
name that are s(eci"ic to a locality or (o(%lace seems to hold good (ros(ects "or "%rther st%dy
in the realm o" comm%nication and other c%lt%ral st%dies.
!nother common e2am(le is that o" 8<arim Dad9 )hich is +ersian and means HCiven by
7=
1ene"icentI. $ven tho%gh (arents are the ones res(onsible "or the names (eo(le bear
thro%gho%t li"e& there is a great deal o" latit%de available to individ%als in the )ay they choose
to %se their names. !s name a%thority $lsdon '. *mith (oints o%t& o"ten the style o" name )e
choose "or o%rselves can reveal a great deal abo%t o%r (ersonalities and abo%t ho) )e see
o%rselves H*mithI.
*mith identi"ies si2 common and distinctive styles "or names& and he o""ers o(inions
abo%t )hat they s%ggest abo%t the (eo(le )ho %se each style.
;o#n Ba)er
*im(lest and least "ormalK re"lects a Rno "rillsR attit%deK has R(lain "olksR a((eal.
;o#n ,illiam Ba)er
*ays the (erson )ants to be noticedK s%ggests serio%snessK s%ggests having nothing to hideK
enables a (rominent middle name to be dis(layed.
;o#n ,. Ba)er
*ho)s mat%rity and a solid& conservative (ersonalityK middle initial im(lies a "%llness and
com(leteness )itho%t the "lamboyance o" %sing the middle name in "%llK creates a sense o"
mystery& es(ecially in )omenK style %sed by almost hal" o" the men in the Mnited *tates and
many )omenK )orks )ell in )riting b%t is slightly ina((ro(riate )hen %sed in s(eech HR#i& IGm
-atthe) -. +arker.RIK com(%ter "orms tend to demand this style.
;. ,. Ba)er
! "avorite o" the 1ritishK a((ears reserved and stando""ishK creates a sense o" mysteryK o""er no
;0
hints abo%t gender& )hich "r%strates letter-)riters.
;. ,illiam Ba)er
*%ggests high sel"-o(inion and vanity& es(ecially )hen the middle name is %ncommonK
sometimes a ha((y sol%tion "or R3%niorsR.
;. Ba)er
Im(lies a "eeling o" insigni"icanceK creates con"%sion and gender ambig%ity o" P. 4. 1aker& b%t
none o" the mystery.
o)adays& ho)ever& (eo(le look "or (honetically (leasing names and hardly give any tho%ght
abo%t their signi"icance. ames o" *anskrit origin like 8&inna) H"atI& 8!mbika9 Hlittle motherI&
8&ina) H"ishI donGt hold m%ch meaning& )hile 8"nita)& 8*ina)& and %Tina) mean nothing.
'ommon +akistani names like 8*ukhsanah) HshiningI and 8*eshma) Hsilk threadI are act%ally o"
+ersian origin. ,thers are "oreign derivatives like 8+areena) H"rom the 0%ssian 'NarinaI or
8*ubina) Hr%byI.
I have do)nloaded these (ortraits "rom Calina *te(anova5s )eb site beca%se o" their
e2(ressions. I )o%ld ask yo% to give names to the (ict%res. 6hese )o%ld be (resented d%ring
the session thro%gh (o)er (oint and disc%ssed. *elect the "irst names "or these ladies "rom the
ones given:

;1
+ic-1 ___________ +ic-2__________ +ic-3 ___________ +ic-4 ___________
a. *heila
b. ancy
c. -argareta
d. *ara
#is name is David or CeorgeL _____________
4hich one is P%lie and )hich one CabrielaL 6he one on the le"t is _______
and the one on the right is ________
'an yo% tell me his nameL _______________
-ichael or !nthony

2.'. Key Concept ' Comm"nication and Se%f3Concept 4(dapted and
;2
e5cerpted from artic%e of H. $d6ard De%"7ain8
6he vie) that names can a""ect the )ay (eo(le behave and ho) they "eel abo%t
themselves has been %nder the st%dy o" scienti"ic researchers. D%ring the last hal"-cent%ry&
tentatively at "irst and later )ith a greater sense o" the im(ortance o" their )ork& (sychologists
and others )ho st%dy h%man behavior have e2(lored the "eeling that names in"l%ence their
bearers& and the researchers have discovered some amaNing (sychological as(ects o" names.
6here are case histories that o""er e2cellent so%rces o" insight into the relationshi(
bet)een names and (ersonality. 4hen s%((lemented by the more ob3ective and scienti"ic
evidence "rom e2(eriments in (sychology& these nat%ralistic observations hel( e2(lain the
im(ortant e""ect names can have on the (sychological develo(ment o" individ%als.
6he most im(ortant as(ect o" (ersonality a""ected by names is sel"-conce(t. *el"-
conce(t develo(s as children develo(& and it is RlearnedR "rom the verbal and non-verbal
messages signi"icant (eo(le in childrenGs lives send them. +arents are the most im(ortant
message-senders& b%t& as children mat%re and become more and more inde(endent& the
messages o" teachers& classmates& and other (eo(le all contrib%te to their develo(ing conce(ts
o" sel". In a sense& sel"-conce(t )orks as a kind o" scri(t "or the )ay (eo(le act. I" a boy has an
image o" himsel" as bad or as not ca(able o" doing )ell in school& his behavior )ill (robably
re"lect that image. #e )ill tend to behave the )ay he thinks a Rbad boyR is s%((osed to behave&
or he )ill "ail to learn& as he sho%ld even tho%gh he might be /%ite intelligent.
! (ersonGs name has an im(act on the (rocess o" b%ilding a sel"-conce(t beca%se the
name hel(s determine the messages other (eo(le send to the child. It has been )ell
established thro%gh research that certain names are generally considered desirable in o%r
;3
c%lt%re and have (ositive "eelings associated )ith them. It is also )ell established that other
names are looked %(on as being %ndesirable and carry negative associations. Dor e2am(le&
'%rt& David& Diane& Pe""& P%dy& and Linda are all considered desirable and (ositive& and !gatha&
$dgar& Drancis& -abel& -arvin& and +hoebe all (rovoke the o((osite reaction. 1eca%se o" this&
(eo(le %nconscio%sly& b%t nevertheless e""ectively& send (ositive and negative messages in
kee(ing )ith (ositive and negative images.
-ost o" the time these messages are very s%btle& b%t sometimes they take the "orm o"
3okes& teasing& and even ridic%le& es(ecially )ithin the childGs (eer gro%(. !t best& the 3oking and
teasing can make children sel"-conscio%s abo%t their names and rel%ctant to have any contact
)ith other children o%t o" "ear o" being ridic%led. I remember my o)n e""orts to hel( my
children co(e )ith the teasing attit%de o" their class "ello)s& )ho )o%ld tease them "or their
last name <hattak& )hich is a very res(ected tribe among the 8+ashtoons9 or +athans. 6he
reason "or the ridic%le )as the )ay their (eers mischievo%sly distorted the (ron%nciation
)here 8<hattak9 got (rono%nced as 8<hattakay9 3%st to tease& it being the +ashto )ord "or
)ater melon. !t )orst& es(ecially )hen insensitive ad%lts think the 3okes and nicknames are
"%nny and act%ally %se them too& it can %ndermine )hat might other)ise be healthy
(ersonalities.
-%r(hyGs (sychiatric case histories (rovide a good e2am(le o" this in action. -%r(hy
)rote o" a yo%ng college man )hose chie" com(laint at the beginning o" (sychoanalysis )as
that his e2cessive %nderarm (ers(iration& and the accom(anying odor& )as res(onsible "or his
inability to make "riends. 6he manGs last name ha((ened to be *tankey& and& in the co%rse o"
analysis& he revealed that in elementary school the other st%dents gave him the nickname
R*tinky.R #is classmates held their noses )hen they )ere aro%nd him& and he reacted by
;4
)ithdra)ing "rom the gro%( and becoming aloo". #e also let it be kno)n d%ring treatment that
his mother belittled the "amily name and that both (arents )ere com(%lsive abo%t odors o"
any kind. !t "irst the yo%ng man denied any (roblem )ith his nameK later& he came to realiNe
that he had %nconscio%sly blamed his "ather "or his social (roblems by making the "ather bear
res(onsibility "or both his name and his %n(leasant odor. $vent%ally& he learned that the real
di""ic%lty lay in his conce(t o" sel". In e""ect& he had come to see himsel" as Rstinky&R and this& in
t%rn& made him act the )ay he tho%ght a stinky (erson )as s%((osed to act H-%r(hyI.
6his e2am(le is dramatic and (o)er"%l eno%gh to stand on its o)n )itho%t the added
s%((ort o" elaborate scienti"ic research. #o)ever& s%((ort "or the relationshi( bet)een names
and sel"-conce(t is available "rom the res%lts o" several scienti"ic e2(eriments. ,ne o" these )as
cond%cted by *. Cary Car)ood o" 6%lane Mniversity HCar)oodI. Car)ood asked a gro%( o"
teachers to rate names as desirable or %ndesirable. #e then gave a battery o" (sychological
tests o" (ersonality and sel"-conce(t to a gro%( o" elementary school st%dents and com(ared
scores o" the gro%( )ith desirable names to the gro%( )ith %ndesirable names. #e "o%nd that
members o" the desirable-name gro%( sho)ed Ra considerably higher level o" ad3%stmentR than
the %ndesirable-name gro%(. D%rthermore& the st%dents )ho had desirable names sho)ed less
con"lict abo%t ho) they "elt abo%t themselves.
Car)oodGs "indings )ere basically the same as those o" ,rlo *tr%nk& Pr.& o" 4est @irginia
4esleyan 'ollege& )ho com(ared (ersonal liking "or oneGs "irst name )ith sel"-conce(t. *tr%nk
concl%ded that Rthere a((ears to be a (ersistent tendency "or individ%als )ho dislike their "irst
name to have less a""irmative attit%des to)ard themselves than do those )ho like their "irst
nameR H*tr%nkI. 6his seems to be a )orld-)ide (henomenon& beca%se D.P.4. *tr%m("er o" +ort
$liNabeth& *o%th !"rica& re(orted research res%lts that Rgenerally s%((orted those o" *tr%nk . . .R
;7
H*tr%m("erI.
In light o" the im(ortant link bet)een names and sel"-conce(t& itGs not s%r(rising that
investigators have "o%nd relationshi(s bet)een names and the tendency to)ard mental illness.
In "o%r se(arate st%dies cond%cted over a t)enty-year (eriod& researchers "o%nd decided
tendencies to)ard (sychosis and ne%rosis among (eo(le )ith %n%s%al and %ncommon "irst
names H#artman& et al.K $llis and 1eechleyK #o%ston and *%mnerK and *avage and 4ellsI.
Interestingly& the tendency seemed stronger among boys and men than among girls and
)omen. ,ne (air o" researchers )ho noticed this tendency attrib%ted it to the "act that o%r
c%lt%re (ermits greater "le2ibility and "reedom in the names o" "emales than o" males H$llis and
1eechleyI. Cirls are given %n%s%al names m%ch more o"ten than boys are. 6here"ore& these
names do not attract as m%ch attention and are less likely to ca%se embarrassment "or the girls
)ho have them. !s a res%lt& these names do less damage to the sel"-conce(ts o" the girls as
they develo( d%ring childhood and adolescence.
$ven tho%gh research data consistently sho) a relationshi( bet)een names and
(ersonality di""ic%lties& biNarre and highly %n%s%al names o" children may be& in themselves& no
more than indicators o" the (sychological states o" (arents. $arlier I made the (oint that
(arents are the most im(ortant message-senders in the develo(ment o" a childGs sel"-conce(t
and (ersonality. It may )ell be that (ec%liar names& )hich are likely to ca%se other children to
(oke "%n& are act%ally %nconscio%s messages "rom the (arents that the children are (ec%liar
and deserving o" ridic%le. I" this is the case& then the name is (robably only the "irst o" many
s%ch messages these children get "rom their (arents d%ring the time their sel"-conce(ts are
develo(ing. 6hen it becomes a /%estion o" )hether the name is the ca%se o" the childGs later
(sychological (roblems or )hether the childGs name is only a sym(tom o" dee(er (roblems
;;
)ithin the "amily.
-yron 1render& )riting "or the 3o%rnal o" the !merican ame *ociety& o""ered several
hy(otheses abo%t the (sychological signi"icance "or the (arents o" the names they choose "or
their children. !ccording to 1render& "amily tradition is an im(ortant "actor in the names many
children receive. *ometimes traditional names e2(ress the ho(e that a rich relative )ill
remember the namesake genero%sly in a )ill. ,ther times& tho%gh& a traditional "amily name
may be an attem(t by the childGs (arents to a((ease their o)n (arents beca%se o" "eelings o"
g%ilt or "ear o" re3ection H1renderI.
!(art "rom any (roblems a child might have )ith a name that is an e2(ression o"
(arental g%ilt or "ear& traditional names can )ork to a (ersonGs disadvantage in other )ays. Dr.
-%r(hy told o" a case "rom his (sychiatric (ractice o" a college st%dent )ho so%ght (sychiatric
hel( beca%se he co%ldnGt concentrate on his school )ork and beca%se he had develo(ed a "acial
tic. 6he yo%ng man had been given his motherGs maiden name as a middle name& and he %sed it
habit%ally in combination )ith his last name. 6he "amily o" the manGs "ather )as
%ndisting%ishedK b%t the mother had descended "rom old and im(ortant e) $ngland stock&
and her last name carried (restige in the area )here the man lived. 4itho%t realiNing it& he had
come to de(end on his middle name& rather than on (ersonal hard )ork& to ass%re his s%ccess
in li"e& and he o"ten became angry and "r%strated )hen his middle name "ailed to )ork its
magic. !s he im(roved d%ring treatment& b%t be"ore he became conscio%s o" the im(ortance o"
his middle name to his (roblem& he sto((ed %sing the middle name as a )ay o" identi"ying
himsel" H-%r(hyI.
,ne o" the most common %ses o" traditional names is to name a son a"ter the "ather and
;?
to %se RPr.R as (art o" the sonGs name. !ltho%gh there are sometimes (ractical (roblems in
di""erentiating bet)een "ather and son& es(ecially i" both ha((en to be (rominent& the real
di""ic%lty lies in the sonGs "eeling o" sharing an identity )ith someone else or o" having to
com(ete )ith his "ather "or recognition as an individ%al. 6his& a((arently& )as the e2(erience o"
the )ell-kno)n !merican novelist& #enry Pames& as Leon $del relates in his biogra(hy o" the
)riter. 6his can very )ell be tr%e abo%t the M* +resident 1%sh 8Pr9.
!ccording to $del& Rthro%gho%t his li"e& #enry vol%bly (rotested against the (arental
"ail%re to let him have a distinctive name and Hby the same tokenI an identity o" his o)n.R Pames
and his "ather )ere both )ell kno)n and occasionally even )rote "or the same iss%e o" The
"tlantic &onthly. !s a yo%ng man& Pames %sed RPr.R as a (rominent (art o" his signat%re&
sometimes even s(elling o%t the )ord rather than %sing the abbreviation. !s his o)n career
(rogressed and his "ame increased& the RPr.R became less and less legible and )as "inally s(elled
)ith a lo)er-case R3R H$delI. In e""ect& he asserted his o)n identity by grad%ally& and (robably
%nconscio%sly& deem(hasiNing the (art o" his name that signi"ied his RlesserR stat%s.
2.*. Key Concept * 9ad 2ames
!ccording to 1render& another naming (attern )hich re"lects the (ersonalities o" the
(arents is the %se o" names that are highly "ashionable and (o(%lar at any given time--or& in
other )ords& "ad names. +arents )ho select "ad names may be giving in to s%btle social
(ress%re to con"orm to )hat they think the general c%lt%re says is acce(table& and this& in t%rn&
may res%lt "rom a lack o" con"idence in their o)n 3%dgment& "ear o" being cons(ic%o%s by going
against the (revailing tide& or sim(ly a lack o" originality.
6he list o" "ad names changes o"ten and it varies /%ite a bit "rom one (art o" the co%ntry
;A
to another. Cirls seem to receive "ad names more o"ten than boys& and the reason goes back to
the earlier (oint that there is greater "le2ibility in the names )e tolerate "or "emales than "or
males. 6his greater toleration may be a kind o" dee(-seated& %nconscio%s se2ism that says& in
e""ect& men need serio%s& traditional names to s%it their serio%s concerns& b%t )omen& )ho
)onGt be engaged in serio%s (%rs%its& donGt. 6he same may be tr%e o" the greater latit%de
)omen are a""orded in )hat is considered acce(table dress& even in (ro"essional sit%ations. In
o%r c%lt%re lately& i" a "emale colleag%e arrives at school )earing slacks& a dress shirt& a necktie&
and a 3acketK traditional menGs clothes& she may even be com(limented. I" a man sho)ed %( in
a ladies5 dress& he may be taken "or (sychiatric treatment. 6h%s& as )ith names& (%blic attit%des
abo%t clothing may )ell be endemic se2ism.
6he (ossibility o" se2ism aside& a "ad name almost al)ays becomes "addish beca%se
some "amo%s (erson has it. *hirley 6em(le )as at the height o" her childhood career in the late
1=30Gs and early 1=40Gs& so )e "ind a m%ch higher n%mber o" *hirleys among 47- to 77-year-old
)omen than any other gro%(. P%dy Carland le"t her mark on )omenGs names a "e) years later&
and Pac/%eline <ennedy ,nassis did the same thing to the names o" girls born in the early
*i2ties H*mithI.
4hatever the "ad name or the reasons "or giving it& tho%gh& there are t)o distinct
(roblems )hich the bearers o" "ad names m%st end%re. Dirst& "ad names tend to lose their
(o(%lar a((eal a"ter only a "e) years and then more or less dro( o%t o" sight as names given to
babies. !s a res%lt& in later years itGs (ossible to RdateR (eo(le on the basis o" )hen their names
)ere in vog%e. 6his may not be a (roblem "or everyone )ith a "ad name& b%t (eo(le )ho )o%ld
like to kee( their age a mystery are at a de"inite disadvantage i" they have a name that had
great (o(%larity "or only a brie" time.
;=
6he second (roblem )ith "ad names occ%rs m%ch earlier in the lives o" (eo(le than the
"irst one does& and it has the (otential "or some "airly serio%s conse/%ences. 6his (roblem
occ%rs at school& and it res%lts "rom the "act that more than one child in a classroom is likely to
have the same "ad name. 6his ha((ens )ith all names that are reasonably common& b%t it
ha((ens m%ch more o"ten )ith names that go thro%gh (eriods o" great (o(%larity.
6he di""ic%lty )ith the m%lti(le occ%rrence o" a name in a classroom is that children )ith
the same "irst name have to be called by something other than 3%st their "irst name in order to
avoid con"%sion. Ms%ally this means %sing both the "irst and last names o" these children&
instead o" sim(ly their "irst names& like everyone else. 6his has the e""ect o" singling these
children o%t "rom all the others and making them di""erent "rom their (eers. 6his is no (roblem
at all "or many children& b%t to a child )ho is trying hard to be acce(ted by a (eer gro%( by not
being di""erentK this can become a so%rce o" embarrassment and "r%stration. 6he analogy in the
ad%lt )orld might be a sit%ation in& say& an a%to re(air sho( )here the )orkers are on a "irst-
name basis b%t )here everyone insists on calling one o" the )orkers -r. Pohnson instead o" his
"irst name. Imagine ho) t)enty-"ive-year-old Pohnson )o%ld "eel )hen a ne) )orker comes to
)ork and is introd%ced to the others in the sho(. RC%ys&R the s%(ervisor might say& Rthis is o%r
ne) man& Pack. Pack& this is -ike& Perry& -r. Pohnson& and Dred.R 6he sit%ation in a classroom
may be the same or )orse "or a si2-year-old: R1oys and girls&R the teacher might say& RI )o%ld
like "or 6immy& 1illy& *hane -iller& and $ddie to come to the reading circle no).R
6he ideas o" 1render on the cl%es names o""er abo%t the (ersonalities o" (arents and
the observations o" *mith on )hat name styles say abo%t the )ays (eo(le see themselves are
theories that )ere develo(ed thro%gh years o" re"lection on (eo(le and names. $ven tho%gh
these theories havenGt been thoro%ghly tested thro%gh research& they tend to ring tr%e to
?0
(ersonal e2(erience& and they give good insight into the im(ortance o" names in everyday li"e.
In his book 0elationshi(s& (sychologist !ndre) Lake )rites: R.o%r (ersonality is
identi"ied by yo%r name. 1%t )hen yo% )ere born& yo% )ere %na)are o" having a name and it
had to be chosen "or yo% by yo%r (arents. 4hen they decide )hat yo% sho%ld be called& )hat
)ere they saying abo%t )hat they ho(ed yo% )o%ld becomeL
2.+. Key Concept + !hat is in a name#
Disabled activist Paved !bidi is a case in (oint. 1orn three years into their marriage& his
(arents )ere over3oyed to have him 3%st )hen their longing "or children )as verging on
des(eration. 1%t there )as a catchVtheir son )as born )ith a condition in )hich a (ortion o"
his s(ine )as (rotr%ding thro%gh the back. 6he doctors gave him only 20 days to live. *t%ng by
this %ltimat%m& his "ather named him 8Paved9& one )ho lives on. 6oday at 34 and )ith a
demanding career as scholar& 3o%rnalist and activist& ,aved says: R*omeho) I had the "eeling
that I m%st live to (rove my "atherGs "aith.R
!ll o" the case histories& research "indings& and theories s%((ort the "eeling that names
hel( sha(e o%r (ersonalities. ames are certainly not the only "orce in o%r lives that ca%ses %s
to develo( in a certain )ay and become the kinds o" (eo(le )e become. #o)ever& )hen )e
look at the evidence& )e canGt hel( )ondering ho) )e )o%ld have t%rned o%t i" o%r names had
been di""erent.
*%ltan *hahin& col%mnist and e) !ger& took n%merological considerations into acco%nt
)hen he ado(ted his name in his earlyG20s. #e says: R-y ado(ted name *hahin re"ers to a
mythical royal "alcon in I/balGs HMrd% (oet and (hiloso(herI (oetry& a meta(hor "or dignity& sel"-
reliance and sel"-res(ect. Later& )hen I st%died n%merology& I discovered that the traditional
?1
)ay o" s(elling *haheen adds %( to the n%mber 2=& )hich is (erha(s the )orst vibration one
can give onesel". *hahin& on the other hand& adds %( to 24& considered one o" the most
a%s(icio%s vibrations. *o %nkno)ingly& I balanced mysel" and christened mysel" correctly.R 6his
(art is 3%st added to in"orm abo%t a ne) dimension o" names and sciences related to it i.e.&
n%merology. 6his mod%le )o%ld not cover that as(ect it being o%t o" its sco(e.
%merology also (lays an im(ortant (art "or (eo(le )ho rename themselves in mid-li"e
or s(ell their names %nconventionally H0ashme& 0%shme& 0ashmee& 0ashmi& 0shmiI. Ms%ally&
(eo(le in the entertainment b%siness rename themselves "or instant identi"ication )ith the
masses. *o& .%s%" <han& the +athan lad "rom +esha)ar& t%rns Dili( <%mar& a nondescri(t orma
Pean 1aker becomes the glamoro%s -arilyn -onroe and !nne 0osenba%m& a 0%ssian Pe)
becomes the individ%alist !yn 0and. <ismet HL%ckI& image& behaviorVall are connected to )hat
yo% are called. *o& )hen con"ronted by a G)hatGs in a nameG donGt des(airVact%ally& thereGs lots
in a nameE
3.
Teac(ing A''roac(es
6he "ollo)ing teaching techni/%es )o%ld be ado(ted in this session to enable the
learners to better %nderstand the above key areas o" comm%nication& be "amiliar )ith the
comm%nication (rocess& and to identi"y the critical (arts involved in it. 6he session )o%ld "ollo)
the "ollo)ing teaching techni/%es:
?2
lect%ring
gro%( disc%ssion
+anel disc%ssions
In-classJsession disc%ssion
,bservations
'ase st%dies
In- class !ssignment
+ersonal contracts
Debates
0ole (laying
*(ecial re(orts
*ym(osi%m
Intervie)s
'.1. (cti)ity 1
*tart )ith asking the (artici(ants )ho ke(t their name and )hether they kno) the
?3
reason behind the selection o" their s(eci"ic names.
'.2. (cti)ity 2
!sk the (artici(ants i" they kno) the meanings o" their res(ective names.
'.&. (cti)ity &
!sk the (artici(ants )hether they like their res(ective names or not.
?4
'.'. (cti)ity '
Introd%ce the basic conce(ts given in this session thro%gh the (o)er (oint slides.
HDevelo( ones that s%it yo%r style %sing the scri(t hereI.
'.*. (cti)ity *
'.+. (cti)ity +
!"ter covering the content (resent the )ork sheet )ith (ortraits asking the (artici(ants
to )ork in gro%(s and assign names as they think a((ro(riate. !sk them to com(are their
selections and assign reasons "or identi"ying their selected names )ith the (ortraits.
'.,. (cti)ity ,
Let the (artici(ants in gro%(s agree thro%gh consens%s or thro%gh ma3ority vote abo%t
the names that they )o%ld "inally assign to the (ortraits.
'.:. (cti)ity :
!sk the gro%(s to e2change their )orksheets and see )hether they come to terms to
the di""erent names assigned by a (artic%lar gro%( to the (ortraits. !sk "%rther to e2(lain i" and
ho) their reaction or res(onse to the ne) names is di""erent "rom their earlier ones.
'.;. (cti)ity ;
their %nderstanding o" the role names (lay in develo(ing sel" conce(t and comm%nication.
6he (rocesses that de"ine o%r comm%nication are (ro"o%nd and signi"icant.
?7
'omm%nication is as com(le2 a (rocess as h%mans themselves. ,%r sel"-conce(t is the (rime
basis o" o%r comm%nication. 6he inside-o%t (aradigm o" comm%nication (%r(orts that
%nderstanding the intrinsic in"l%ences& )hich im(act o%r (ersonalities is im(erative "or e""ective
comm%nication. It is only thro%gh %nderstanding the o"ten neglected holistic methods o"
%nderstanding comm%nication that one may be able to in"l%ence one5s o)n comm%nication
and contrib%te to)ards the enhancement o" others5 comm%nication as )ell. 6eachers in
(artic%lar (lay a very signi"icant role in develo(ing the (ersonalities o" their st%dents and one
can only imagine the risks involved i" teachers themselves are not conscio%s o" their o)n sel"
conce(t and ho) it in"l%ences their comm%nication. 6he matter o" making or breaking
st%dents5 (ersonalities is too signi"icant to be le"t to chance.
6he ne2t session "%rther e2(lores the di""erent dimension o" sel" and ho) it in"l%ences
one5s comm%nication. 6he "ollo)ing session is going to thro) light on the di""erent ty(es o"
sel" that together make a com(lete sel" conce(t.
+$ Assessment
+artici(ants5 conce(t%al %nderstanding o" the session )o%ld be assessed d%ring the
gro%( disc%ssion thro%gh giving acco%nt o" their s(eci"ic names and ho) it has
in"l%enced their sel" conce(t.
!ctivities cond%cted d%ring the session )o%ld be %sed to assess the (artici(ants.
+artici(ants5 "eedback on the session thro%gh giving e2am(les o" and its a((lication
in their o)n academic setting )o%ld highlight the a((lied (art o" their learning.
?;
Session I/" 0ole o. Di..erent Sel!es in Communication
!"ter the com(letion o" this session the (artici(ants )o%ld be able to:
Demonstrate their %nderstanding o" the integral link bet)een comm%nication
and the conce(t o" sel".
Inter(ret the )ay di""erent selves "orm a (art o" o%r (ersonalities
$nlist the di""erent behaviors in"l%enced by the di""erent selves.
Develo( a holistic model )here by all the selves integrate "or balanced
comm%nication.
2.1. Key Concept 1 Comm"nication and Se%f
D%ring the last session )e identi"ied that o%r sel"-conce(t has a ma3or role in the )ay
)e comm%nicate. ame is only one o" the mani"estations and generally )e do not seem to
have a role in comm%nication& %nless )e decide to re-name o%rselves. 'omm%nication starts
)ith sel". #o) )e see o%rselves can make a great di""erence in ho) yo% comm%nicate )ith
)hom )e comm%nicate and 'arl 0oger )rote 8$very individ%al e2ists in a contin%ally changing
)orld o" e2(erience o" )hich he or she is the center9. 6he most interesting and intrig%ing (art
is that as o%r e2(eriences o" the changing )orld change %s& )e contrarily believe that )e are
the same as )e kne) o%rselves. *o in other )ords )hat )e kno) abo%t o%rselves may very
)ell be )hat )e kne) abo%t o%rselves or the )ay )e kne) o%rselves in the (ast. 6his is
??
(rimarily beca%se )e are generally not conscio%s abo%t the )ay and the manner in )hich o%r
e2(eriences sha(e %s. *ome o" %s also get st%ck mentally at some stage o" o%r lives. 6o bring
"orth the (oint& I shall narrate a (ersonal e2(erience. I )as ta%ght that all elders& )ho ha((en
to be my "ather5s "riends or colleag%es& )ere to be called 8Mncles9 o%t o" res(ect "or them. I
)o%ld there"ore call them by this )ord. -y conce(t o" %ncle corres(onded )ith the age gro%(
o" my "ather. I "orgot that I )as gro)ing old mysel" and contin%ed calling (eo(le 8Mncle5& )hom
I tho%ght to be elder to me. I "ailed to observe that to)ard the later (art o" my (resent age& I
sa) "e) s%r(rised "aces o" (ersons& )hom I called 8'hacha9& the Mrd% translation "or 8Mncle9. I
realiNed a"ter)ards that )hile they might have been elder to meK the age di""erence )as
(robably not signi"icant eno%gh to )arrant the %se o" the term. #o)ever& my shock came the
day a yo%ng lad act%ally called me 8Mncle9. It )as s%rely an %n(leasant a)akening "or a (erson&
)ho tho%ght he )as still very yo%ng. !ge th%s is a relative thing then& I so concl%deK b%t the "act
is that I am called Mncle on reg%lar basis. 6he good (art is that I can still call some (eo(le %ncleK
my "ather5s age gro%(.
#o)ever& )hat s%r(rised me most )as that I )as ca%ght %na)are o" the transition and
the changes that I had gone thro%gh (hysically& (sychologically& emotionally and s(irit%ally as a
res%lt o" my e2(eriences )ith the ever changing )orld o" e2(erience. I am s%re that many o" %s
)o%ld have e2(erienced meeting o%r old "riends or class "ello)s a"ter a la(se o" many years 3%st
to "ind that sJhe is not the same (erson )e kne). I tr%st i" )e ask them they )o%ld say the
same abo%t %s. *ome o" %s change radically )hile others trans"orm. It all de(ends on the ty(e
and intensity o" e2(eriences. I can sa"ely state that the most drastic or dramatic changes occ%r
d%e to the (ro"o%nd im(act o" strong e2(eriences. 6he events do not change& b%t o%r
e2(eriences o" the event can change )ith the (assage o" time& i" )e learn to look at them
di""erently.
?A
2.2.
Key Concept 2 Comm"nication Be-ins 6ith <Se%f=
Dean 1arnl%nd develo(ed the
idea that 8si2 (ersons9 are involved in
every t)o-(erson comm%nication
sit%ation. 6he holistic %nderstanding
o" the si2 (erson comm%nication
allo)s "or greater conscio%sness
abo%t the di""erent selves involved in
a comm%nication (rocess. 6his
(ers(ective enables one to see the interloc%tors involved in a comm%nication (rocess and
ideally can "acilitate in balanced and e""ective comm%nication.
2.&. Key Concept & Yo"r >ie6 of Yo"rse%f
.o%r vie) o" yo%rsel" is (robably the most signi"icant as(ect o" the 8si2 (ersons9
(ers(ective on comm%nication. 6his as(ect has been covered in earlier sessions on (erce(tion.
,ne5s vie) o" onesel" does not get develo(ed in isolation and there"ore (rovides basis "or
interaction )ith others. It is the total s%m o" one5s e2(eriences )ith the o%ter )orld. ,ne5s
vie) o" onesel" in"l%ences the manner in )hich one relates to the rest o" the )orld. 6his is
mani"est in the "orm o" !ssertive& *%bmissive or !ggressive comm%nication. In other )ords yo%
comm%nicate )hat yo% are.
?=
Communication be!ins with
Self
I #ean 'arnlund also developed the idea
that six persons" are involved in ever
two-person communication situation.
,our view
o2 the other
person 345
!ow the
other person
6elieves you
view him7her
385
'he other
person9s view
o2 himsel2 or
hersel2 3:5
,our view
o2 yoursel2
3;5
!ow you
6elieve the
other person
views you 305
'he other
person9s
view o2 you
3<5
2.4.
Key Concept ' Yo"r >ie6 of the other Person
In relation to one5s vie) o" onesel"& one vie)s the other (erson. 6hese a""ect the roles
that one ass%mes in a t)o (erson comm%nication. 1y role )hat is meant here is not that o" a
s(eaker or a listener. It (rimarily re"ers to one5s (sychological (ositioning in relation to the
other. 6his in t%rn a""ects )hat one comm%nicates and ho). 6he content and style o"
comm%nication is (rimarily decided in the light o" this.
2.7.
Key Concept * Ho6 Yo" Be%ie)e the other Person >ie6s Yo"
.o%r vie) o" ho) the other (erson (erceives yo% makes yo% comm%nicate either in
con"ormity or divergence. I" yo% are in agreement to )hat yo% think the other thinks o" yo%&
yo% )o%ld (robably send signals con"orming )hat yo% think is e2(ected o" yo%. In case yo% do
not con"orm to )hat yo% (erceive others think o" yo%& yo%r message )o%ld be di""erent. 6he
convergence o" )hat yo% (erceive others think o" yo% and their act%al vie) o" yo% )o%ld res%lt
in congr%ent comm%nication. ! di""erence )o%ld create incongr%ent comm%nication and )o%ld
res%lt in barriers.
2.;.
Key Concept + 1he other Person?s >ie6 of Himse%f or Herse%f
Identical to yo%r vie) o" yo%rsel"& the other (erson also has a vie) o" himsel" or hersel".
6he other (erson vie) o" himsel" or hersel" is again in relationshi( to yo%r vie) o" him or her&
)hich is itsel" an o%tcome o" yo%r vie) o" yo%rsel" in relationshi( to his or her vie) o" yo%. 6he
congr%ence o" vie)s )o%ld synergiNe comm%nication and res%lt in convergence )hereas
incongr%ence o" vie)s )o%ld res%lt in divergent res%lts& )hich may b%l)ark the comm%nication
(rocess and the o%tcome.
A0
2.?.
Key Concept , 1he other Person?s >ie6 of Yo"
6he other (erson5s vie) o" yo% gets mani"estation thro%gh his or her comm%nication.
.o% there"ore need to be very alert to the signals and messages send by the other (erson as
that is the only )ays to com(rehend others vie) o" yo%. 6his in t%rn enables yo% to see "or any
dis(arities in the vie)s and res%ltant comm%nication. ,nce this is identi"ied it can allo) yo% to
bridge the ga(s thro%gh yo%r comm%nication.
2.A.
Key Concept : Ho6 the other person Be%ie)es Yo" >ie6 Him@Her
,ther (erson5s (erce(tion o" ho) yo% vie) him or her is de(endent on yo%r
comm%nication i.e.& yo%r vie) o" him or her and his or her inter(retation o" that in the light o"
his or her o)n (erce(tion o" himsel" or hersel". 6his obvio%sly is com(le2 and is not solely
de(endent on ho) and )hat yo% comm%nicate b%t also on ho) it is inter(reted by the other
(erson. It is an amalgamation o" the di""erent vie)s mentioned above.
6he above brings "orth em(hatically the com(le2ity o" comm%nication d%e to the
di""erent selves involved. !ll these selves are interconnected& and interde(endent. !ll vie)s
a""ect one another and the total o%tcome is that o" a consonance or dissonance or at least
divergent i" not totally incom(atible.
2.=.
Key Concept ; Aateria% Se%f and Se%f3$steem
4ith the (assage o" time h%man beings %nderstanding o" them have increased b%t it is a
(rocess that )o%ld contin%e as long as h%man race contin%es. 6his /%est is %n-endingK b%t )ith
the (assage o" time ne) dimensions o" h%man sel" are getting revealed. 'ertain as(ects
disc%ssed %nder this to(ic have been e2cer(ted and ada(ted "rom Pim <itNmiller5s article. #e is
the a%thor o" 80ocket D%el "or the *o%lB1lissercise *el"-#el( -an%al9. 6he article can be "o%nd
at: http-../#ine"rticles.com.0expert1,im2it#miller.
A1
6he material sel" is a total o" all the tangible things yo% o)n. 6hese (rimarily incl%de
yo%r body& home and other (ossessions. Civen the "act that s%""icient )ealth is needed "or
having an ideal material sel"K it may not be the only criterion "or assessing one5s conce(t o" sel"
image or other)ise the (oor ones have no chance o" "%l"illing this as(ect o" their sel" image.
2.5.. Bod0
#%man body is (robably the most val%ed o" the (ossessions "or most o" %s today. 6he
im(ortance that )e have attached to o%r bodies has increasingly made %s conscio%s o" o%r
a((earance and res%ltantly )e have based o%r sel" esteem on it. Mndo%btedly& o%r body is the
only one )e )o%ld ever have and )hether )e like it or not it is going to last as long as )e last.
#o)ever& the most intrig%ing (art o" it is that )ith the (assage o" time and age its a((earance
)o%ld change and so )o%ld o%r conce(t o" sel". *o i" )e )o%ld base o%r sel" conce(t on
something that is (rone to change it is im(ortant to be a)are that o%r sel" conce(t sho%ld not
be totally de(endent on some thing that is contin%ally trans"orming.
I have noticed that many (eo(le have come to hate their bodies beca%se they do not
look like the (er"ect ones sho)n on the "ashion magaNines. -any o" %s do not realiNe that o%r
sel"-esteem has an integral link to o%r o)n body image. #o) m%ch do )e acce(t o%r o)n
bodiesL !re )e good eno%gh to beL !re )e good eno%gh to haveL !re )e good eno%gh to doL
6he ans)ers to the above /%estions de(end entirely on )hether )e are solely basing
o%r sel" esteem on ho) o%r body a((ears. !ltho%gh o%r bodies have something to do )ith ho)
others treat %s& the most im(ortant "actor is ho) )e vie) o%rselves. I" )e hold an image o" o%r
bodies as being messed %( then )e have a negative im(act on o%r bodies as )ell as o%r sel"
esteem. I" )e think )e are o%r bodies& then o%r esteem is based on the )rong sel".
A2
4e b%ild esteem "or o%r bodies by seeing their tr%e (er"ection. 6he "irst ste( in doing
that is acce(ting them the )ay they are. 6hey are okay the )ay they are. I am s%rely not
s%ggesting a lethargic li"e style )itho%t a )ork o%t (lan. I am only saying that )e need to come
to terms )ith o%r body and then )itho%t allo)ing o%r sel" esteem to be negatively in"l%enced
by the image& )e decide to im(rove %(on o%r body thro%gh "ollo)ing a healthy and balanced
li"e style.
2.5.2. Effects of self acceptance on our ps0c#ological #ealt#<
6here is this conce(t that )e have energetic bl%e(rints "or o%r bodies. 6his energetic
bl%e(rint a""ects the condition o" o%r bodies. 6he bl%e(rint comes "irst. 6he act%al body
condition comes some time later.
In the movie 84hat the 1lee(9& there are these microsco(ic (ict%res o" )ater a"ter it
)as e2(osed to (rayer& (ositive tho%ghts& and vario%s negative emotions. 6he microsco(ic
(ict%res o" the )ater e2(osed to negative emotions and tho%ghts a((eared messy. #o)ever&
the (ict%res o" )ater e2(osed to (ositive emotion looked like nat%reGs )orks o" art. 6hey )ere
harmonio%s and bea%ti"%l. 6his analogy (roves that (ositive emotions create (ositive e""ect on
o%r (syche and can th%s enhance o%r abilities& sel" con"idence and res%ltantly comm%nication.
2.1B. Key Concept 1B C"r Possessions
6his generally re"ers to all the )orldly (ossessions that )e have. 6hese cannot be listed
as they vary "rom (erson to (erson and (lace to (lace. 6he only as(ect to )atch "or is the )ay
o%r conce(t o" (ossession a""ect o%r sel" image. It may lead to a total lo) sel" esteem and
image in case )e have very little (ossessions. ,n the other e2treme )e may become arrogant i"
)e have h%ge (ossession in terms o" )ealth and other s%ch arti"acts that embody o%r conce(t
o" )ealth.
A3
,%r (ossessions do not stay the same all along. ,%r sel"-image& i" totally de(endent on
it& )o%ld make %s very s%sce(tible to the changes that are bo%nd to ha((en to these
(ossessions over a (eriod o" time d%ring o%r lives. Mndo%btedly& )e need basic amenities "or a
decent living and that vary "rom society to society rather economy to economy. 4hat might be
the most val%ed commodity "or one may be a least signi"icant one "or the other. 6ake the
e2am(le o" a locality )here (eo(le have access to "iltered drinking )ater at their residences
and all they need to do is t%rn the ta( on to get it. ,n the contrary imagine comm%nities living
in (laces )here (ortable )ater is not available and they have to )alk "or miles to get a (int o"
clean drinking )ater. 4hile both need clean drinking )ater& b%t )ho is going to val%e this
(ossession more than the other is obvio%s.
2.11. Key Concept 11 C"r Home
#ome s)eet homeE 4e all kno) that home is di""erent "rom ho%seK b%t can )e have a
home )itho%t a ho%seL 6he ans)ers )o%ld be di""erent. .o%r ans)ers )o%ld make sense to
yo% and that is )hat matters. #ome has come to stay )ith most o" %s as o%r residing (lace
)here )e live )ith o%r dear ones. 6he conce(t o" home )itho%t that o" a "amily )o%ld
(robably lose its meaning. Damily is relations and relationshi(s give %s o%r sense o" being.
Mnderstandably& this makes home as one o" the most desired and )orthy o" o%r (ossessions.
,ne )o%ld "eel very disconnected )itho%t a home. Let %s imagine o%rselves )itho%t a home by
relating to those )ho are homeless and (robably the an2iety )ritten large on their "aces may
(rovide %s an insight into their image o" sel" and based on that their image o" the )orld at
large.
+eo(le )ith homes have a strong sense o" sel" and their image o" themselves is (ositive
as com(ared to those )ho do not have homes. 0es%ltantly& the sel"-esteem o" both the
A4
categories is di""erent and it a""ects their comm%nication res(ectively.
2.12. Key Concept 12 Socia% Se%f
6he social sel" is that (art o" %s that interacts )ith others. 4e change based on o%r
interaction )ith others. $ach relationshi( )e have )ith another (erson is %ni/%e. ,%r
relationshi(s describe %s. 4e are social beings and o%r social sel" is a very signi"icant as(ect o"
o%r sel" image. 4hether yo% are an ordinary (erson or some very "amo%s celebrity or "or that
matter the +resident o" a co%ntry& yo% need social interactions and social contacts. ,%r social
bond and interconnectedness )ith other (eo(le hel(s %s to stay h%man.
6he most "amo%s o" the social relationshi( is "riendshi(. 6his relationshi( does not need
to be de"ined as it is beyond it. It "its into all relationshi(s and in "act describes o%r "ormal as
)ell as in"ormal relationshi(s. 6here is a "amo%s ma2im %The poorest among you is the one,
who hasn3t got a friend).
2.1&. Key Concept 1& Spirit"a% Se%f
6he s(irit%al sel" consists o" all o%r internal tho%ghts and intros(ections abo%t o%r
val%es and moral standards. It is the essence o" )ho )e think )e are. It is a mi2t%re o" o%r
s(irit%al belie"s and o%r sense o" )ho )e are in relationshi( to other "orces in the %niverse.
4hile& )ondering ho) to act%ally encom(ass s%ch a vast to(ic on )hich books have been
)ritten thro%gh ages& I came across certain e2cer(ts "rom 8#IC#$0 *$LD9 by $d)ard 1ach titled
84eal Thyself- "n /xplanation of the *eal Cause and Cure of 5isease). I )as (artic%larly amaNed
at the "act that )hile )ritten back in 1=31 it lends s%((ort to )hat I intend disc%ssing here in
the year 2010. 6he (oint that I am trying to make is that at h%man 8*(irit%al9 level )e
transcend time and s(ace and (artic%larly the biases beca%se o" the egocentric myo(ia that
mars %s today. I tr%st that )e h%mans have so m%ch in common that i" )e decide to integrate
A7
o%rselves thro%gh the higher selves it )o%ld o(en %( vistas "or comm%nication and %nity )e
generally long "or all o%r lives.
1ach e2(lains that 8Disease is in essence the res%lt o" con"lict bet)een *o%l and -ind&
and )ill never be eradicated e2ce(t by s(irit%al and mental e""ort9. #%mans have a *o%l )hich
is his real sel"Oo" )hich the body& altho%gh the earthly tem(le o" that *o%l& is b%t the min%test
re"lection. ,%r *o%ls& )hich are really )e& are immortal& and the bodies o" )hich )e are
conscio%s are tem(orary& merely as horses )e ride to go a 3o%rney& or instr%ments )e %se to do
a (iece o" )ork. ... so long as o%r *o%ls and (ersonalities are in harmony& all is 3oy and (eace&
ha((iness and health. It is )hen o%r (ersonalities are led astray "rom the (ath laid do)n by the
*o%l either by o%r )orldly desires or by the (ers%asion o" others that a con"lict arises. 6his
con"lict is the root ca%se o" disease and %nha((iness. (6ach, p 7, 8, 9:)
#ave yo% ever )ondered that in o%r childhood and early li"e )e are m%ch nearer to o%r
*o%l than )e are in later yearsL 6he reason "or this is that at that age and stage )e are not
conscio%s o" o%r material sel"& social sel" and the s(irit%al sel". #o)ever& )e are g%ided by the
essence o" )hich )e are made o" i.e.& 8the s(irit9. Mnto%ched by the materialism and
circ%mstances o" o%r age& and the (ersonalities )ith )hom )e associate& )e listen to the voice
o" o%r #igher *el".
6ra%matic e2(eriences o" the childhood& "la)ed %(bringing& and negative environmental
"actors Henergy blocksI etc. s%((ress the messages "rom the #igher *el". 0es%ltantly& as a gro)n
%( the ideals created thro%gh the tho%ght (rocessing get tinged )ith the materialistic and one
e2(eriences "ear& )ithdra)al or indecision and %ncertainty )hile (%rs%ing the higher and tr%e
(%r(ose o" one5s li"e. 6his is "%rther e2as(erated by the lack o" kno)ledge abo%t the (rinci(les
that shall g%ide one to)ards achieving that (%r(ose. 6he (otential th%s cannot be bro%ght to
A;
realiNation.
6he #igher *el" o" any individ%al "ollo)s very direct instr%ctions. 6hese instr%ctions are
given in scri(t%res& ho)ever& "or those )ho do not have or believe in scri(t%res there are these
%niversally acce(ted (erennial val%es that serve as g%idelines. 6hat means that it )ill never
co%nsel to do something )hich demonstrates disres(ect "or any h%man& incl%ding onesel". It
)ill advise to take actions and make decisions )hich are based on the virt%es o" gentleness&
"irmness& co%rage& constancy& )isdom& 3oy"%lness& and (%r(ose"%lness. 4here (ossible and
(ositive& it )ill enco%rage becoming sel"-s%""icient& inde(endent& res(onsive& ho(e"%l& loving&
reverent& em(athic& and sel"-assertive. 6h%s& it is the lack o" a)areness o" )hat s%ch g%idance
co%ld mean that generally holds (eo(le in "ear and %ncertainty.
2.1'. Key Concept 1' Ho6 to Seek /"idance from the Hi-her Se%f
,neGs R+ersonalityR& is o"ten con"%sed )ith oneGs (ersonal goals& attit%des& and
conscio%s intentions. 6his is only (artly correct. !lso incl%ded are all o" yo%r habits& "ears&
needs& desires& com(%lsions& obsessions& (redis(ositions& reactions& and ass%m(tions )hich
have been constr%cted by o%r 0e(tilian str%ct%re in the Mnconscio%s that is also re"erred to ID.
6hose )hich are destr%ctive and s(irit%ally negative have o"ten been constr%cted in this
RsecretR area o" the brain in res(onse to tra%matic e2(eriences.
,ne can be in"l%enced by the call o" the higher sel" and change oneGs intentions
ho)ever& it takes (ractice and ne) skills to change old (atterns. ,ne sho%ld e2(ect one5s $go
and Mnconscio%s i.e.& ID to be roadblocks to one5s (rogress. ,ne can be most e""ective in
removing these roadblocks by becoming conscio%s o" the bene"its that are there "or all the
com(onents o" the (ersonality thro%gh the #igher *el". ,ne needs to be (atient and consistent
in one5s determination to "oc%s on and "ollo) the g%idance o" the #igher *el". 6he (resent
A?
societal and economic (aradigm (redominantly (%r(orts $go and Mnconscio%s as the decision-
making (o)ers. 6hey are al)ays the easiest to contact "or g%idance as generally decisions
made %nder their in"l%ence get readily acce(ted by the e2ternal s%((ort systemsK social&
economic and (olitical %nder the (resent (aradigm. 6he short sightedness d%e to the need "or
immediate grati"ication o" ID or ens%ring amoral means to 8(ersonal9 advantages )o%ld only
be sel"-detrimental and sel" de"eating as )e all live in a system that is only s%stainable thro%gh
s%staining others interest in the system. It is one holistic system that )e all are (art o" and only
thro%gh the intervention o" the higher sel" the balance o" the system can be ass%red ens%ring
s%rvival and s%stainability o" all.
2.1*. Key Concept 1* B"i%din- a 1eam.
!s long as )e isolate and s(lit o%r Li"e *ystem into (arts according to "%nctionality )e
enco%rage each (art to lobby "or (o)er "or its s(ecialty. 6he res%lt )o%ld be con"licting
res(onses and behavior in di""erent sit%ations and )e )o%ld be (erceived as imbalanced and
%n(redictable being %nder di""erent in"l%ences at di""erent times. 6ogether& as a )hole (erson&
)e )o%ld have a balanced behavior. 6his em(hasis on balance has to be kno)n to $go and ID
to make ad3%stments. 6hey may not like it& b%t they cannot deny the s%(eriority o" the #igher
*el" in %nderstanding the RbiggerR (ict%re and determining )hich longer-term activities and
involvements )ill bring even greater achievements. It is the constant con"idence and reminder
o" ecstatic re)ards (romised by the *%(er $go or the #igher *el" that )o%ld enable the Id
im(%lses and the $go5s reality to s%bordinate to the #igher *el". ot every member in the
identity team likes or )ants change& b%t at least they )ill no) give it a try beca%se there is no
re3ection b%t acce(tance o" their e2istence in m%t%al harmony and together that balance can
be achieved thro%gh incl%siveness.
AA
,neGs R+ersonalityR& )ithin the conce(t%al basis %sed by (ro"essional astrologers&
indicates the volitional& behavioral& and attit%dinal (atterns )hich a (erson is born )ith. 6hat is&
they are the individ%alGs strengths and )eaknesses& or (redis(ositions& relative to
comm%nication (atterns& interests& style o" interaction& contin%ing concerns& and& areas o" skill-
b%ilding ease and di""ic%lty. 6o the e2tent that o%r RoriginalR (ersonality "eat%res enco%rage or
disco%rage s(irit%al develo(ment& so also )ill be the ease or di""ic%lty )e may e2(erience in
contacting& hearing& and "ollo)ing the advice o" the #igher *el".
2.1+. Key Concept 1+ Be Prepared
It is necessary to "ind o%t )hat these "actors are "or %s and to acce(t them as o%r areas
o" strength and )eakness. 4e need to sho) res(ect in ackno)ledging them& b%ilding sel"-
disci(line to manage o%r strengths& and& b%ilding ne) skills and a)areness to im(rove o%r
e""ectiveness over )eaknesses. ,%r strengths have a )ay o" distorting the ego )ith (ride&
)hich sh%ts o%t the #igher *el". ,%r )eaknesses distort the ego )ith des(air& "r%stration&
anger& "ear& 3ealo%sy& and )orryK all o" )hich make o(enness and sel"-assertion to the g%idance
o" the #igher *el" distant.
<no)ing R)hyR hel(s %s to be (re(ared and being (re(ared red%ces the (otential "or
shock and (rovides %s )ith the con"idence )e m%st have i" )e are tr%ly going to (%t the advice
o" o%r #igher *el" ahead o" any h%man-centered a%thority. It is tr%e that )hen (eo(le assert
their inde(endence based %(on either the dominance o" their Mnconscio%s or their $go& social
con"%sion& stri"e& ab%se& and violence are the o"ten o%tcomes. 6hese are irres(onsible acts o"
insanity& rage& accident& disease& or re(etitive "ail%re HMnconscio%sI& or& irres(onsible acts o"
illegality& disres(ect& sel"ishness& intolerance& or aggression H$goI. 6his is not )here yo% are
heading. Do yo% kno) )here yo% are headingL
A=
4e have the o((ort%nity to s%ggest and model a di""erent reality to others. I" )e do
not& ho) )ill they kno) that s%ch is also an o(tion "or themL It takes co%rage to be a (ioneer. It
takes sacri"ice to e2(ress the love that acts on the belie" and )ith the certainty that a better&
ha((ier& more 3%st )orld can be e2(erienced. 6his is o%r challenge and o%r re)ard. ,%r #igher
*el" can g%ide %s to im(roving o%r li"e beyond e2(ectations. 4hen that ha((ens& )e )ill also
im(rove the li"e o" those aro%nd %s. -ean)hile& )e m%st concentrate on releasing o%r blocks
and strengthening o%r s(irit%al identity.
3.
Teac(ing A''roac(es
6he "ollo)ing teaching techni/%es )o%ld be ado(ted in this session to enable the
learners to better %nderstand the above key areas o" comm%nication& be "amiliar )ith the
comm%nication (rocess& and to identi"y the critical (arts involved in it. 6he session )o%ld
"ollo) the "ollo)ing teaching techni/%es:
lect%ring
gro%( disc%ssion
+anel disc%ssions
,bservations
=0
'ase st%dies
+ersonal contracts
Debates
0ole (laying
*(ecial re(orts
*ym(osi%m
*ession Intervie)s
=1
'.1. (cti)ity 1
*tart by asking the (artici(ants in ho) many (arts )o%ld they divide their (ersonality.
Dollo) it by asking i" they think they are the same they )ere ten to "i"teen years ago and ho)
they think they have changed.
'.2. (cti)ity 2
-ake the (artici(ants share )hether they consider themselves emotional beings or
logical beings and )hy they think the )ay they think.
'.&. (cti)ity &
!sk the (artici(ants )hat as(ect o" their sel" seems to in"l%ence their (erce(tion or
image o" them and )hat (artic%lar sel" o" theirs manages their behavior and comm%nication
the most and )hy.
'.'. (cti)ity '
Introd%ce the conce(ts given in this session thro%gh the (o)er (oint slides and
inters(erse them )ith relevant /%estions generating disc%ssion and "eed back.
'.*. (cti)ity *
=2
'.+. (cti)ity +
Let the (artici(ants in gro%(s agree thro%gh consens%s i" (ossible or thro%gh ma3ority
vote abo%t the sel" that that they )o%ld "inally allo) to have a signi"icant role in their behavior
and comm%nication.
'.,. (cti)ity :
Let the gro%(s re(resent the three di""erent selves disc%ssed and come %( )ith their
assertions 3%sti"ying their role as dominant in one5s behavior. !sk the gro%(s to e2change their
)orksheets and see )hether they come to terms to the im(ortance di""erent selves have been
assigned and )hether a consens%s can be reached on allo)ing higher sel" to e2ert its in"l%ence
on the other (arts o" the (ersonality.
'.:. (cti)ity ;
their %nderstanding o" the di""erent selves that (lay their role in o%r comm%nication as a
mani"estation o" behavior.
6he inside o%t a((roach or model o" comm%nication can only be %nderstood and %sed
to leverage o%r %nderstanding o" ho) )e comm%nicate thro%gh an insight to the di""erent
(arts o" o%r (ersonality. ,%r %nderstanding o" the develo(ment and in"l%ence o" the di""erent
(arts o" o%r (ersonality allo) %s to assign the most signi"icant role to the higher sel". 6hese in
t%rn allo)s %s to (rocess the comm%nication (atterns and align them according to the dictates
o" the higher sel". 6he reasons "or doing this is that harmony both intrinsically and e2trinsically
can be achieved by %sing the g%idelines and directs "rom the s(irit%al sel" as it transcends time
=3
and s(ace. 6he global )orld and its contin%ally shrinking ga(s necessitate that h%mans m%st
interact at a higher level. 6he e2ternal system5s s%stainability is only (ossible thro%gh the inner
systems harmony. 6he h%mans (syche being the same it is im(erative that commonality o"
(%r(ose be decided by higher goals and not isolated sel" centered interests. ,%r
comm%nication can transcend these barriers once )e manage o%r internal con"licts that are
getting their mani"estation o%t)ardly.
+$ Assessment
+artici(ants5 conce(t%al %nderstanding o" the session )o%ld be assessed d%ring
the gro%( disc%ssion thro%gh giving acco%nt o" their s(eci"ic selves and ho) it has
in"l%enced them.
!ctivities cond%cted d%ring the session )o%ld be %sed to assess the (artici(ants.
+artici(ants5 "eedback on the session thro%gh giving e2am(les o" and its
a((lication in their sit%ations )o%ld highlight the a((lied (art o" their learning.
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Session /" Communication and 1ersonalit& 21art I
!"ter com(leting this session s%ccess"%lly the (artici(ants shall be able to:
1. !((ly the (ersonality conce(t to their %nderstanding o" the
(ersonsJcolleag%esJst%dents that they interact )ith.
2. $2(lain the role o" (ersonality in comm%nication in an academic conte2t.
3. Identi"y and categoriNe the vario%s (ersonality ty(es "o%nd and (re"erably relate it
to an academic setting viN. st%dent-teacherK teacher-teacherK teacher-#,DJ
DeanJ*enior (ro"essional interaction and comm%nication sit%ation.
4. Describe the relationshi( bet)een the (ersonality traits and the comm%nication
traits.
7. 'om(are their o)n comm%nication traitsJstyles )ith that o" other (artici(ants.
;. !((ly their ne)ly learned kno)ledge by assessing their needs.
?. +rioritiNe and rate the re/%isite (ersonality traits essential "or e""ective
comm%nication.
A. Mse the ne) com(etencies in their )on comm%nication sit%ations.
2.
Ke& Conce'ts and Content
6he "ollo)ing conce(ts and content shall be disc%ssed and covered d%ring this session. 6he
=7
content o" this session is research based and there"ore many re"erences )o%ld be seen in the te2t.
=;
2.1. Key Concept 1 0ntrod"ction to Persona%ity 1raits
! trait is the basic intrinsic characteristic o" a (erson that combined )ith other traits
de"ines a (erson. It is carried by (eo(le "or most (art o" their li"e s(an. In the light o" traits& an
individ%al tends to behave in the same H(redictableI )ay in di""erent sit%ations. 6hese are
generally (ersonality traits and de"ined as an individ%al5s (sychological make%(& com(rising
attit%des& val%es& belie"s& e2(eriences& and behaviors.
2.2. Key Concept 2 !hat is Persona%ity#
+ersonality can be de"ined as s%m total o" )ays in )hich an individ%al reacts and
interacts )ith others. H0obbins& 2004I. D%rther he also disc%sses that a (ersonality is sha(ed
and "ashioned by three basic "actors s%ch as heredity& environment and sit%ation. Let %s (%t
this conce(t %(on a st%dent as an individ%al. $very individ%al gets a re"lection or shade o"
hisJher ancestors in terms o" a((earance
Hskin color& height& "acial "eat%res etcI& )ay o"
talking& thinking etc. #o)ever& the
environment in )hich the st%dent is gro)ing is
di""erent to that o" the (arents and so are
hisJher (ersonal e2(eriences that de"ine hisJher behavior.
#o)ever environment also incl%des c%lt%re in )hich one develo(s one5s li"estyle&
norms& and attit%des. 4hile taking acco%nt o" comm%nication sit%ation it can be seen that
(atterns develo(ed d%e to heredity and environment remain generally consistent over a time
(eriod. 6he environment being a variable may evoke behavioral res(onses not e2(erienced
earlier. Dor instance a st%dent having a good height& con"ident and )ell mannered may e2%de
an a%ra o" (ositivism or s%ccess %ntil sJhe a((ears di""erently )hile in a debating session or
=?
)hen hisJher vie) (oint is not heard. 6here"ore a teacher m%st have an %nderstanding o"
(ersonality and (ersonality traits to overcome the (roblems a st%dent might "ace in a diverse
class o" st%dents coming "rom all )alks o" li"e having di""erent heredity& environment
Hin"l%enced by c%lt%reI and sit%ation.
2.&. Key Concept & Persona%ity 1raits
In this section& )e )ill "oc%s on three (ersonality traits:
1. -achiavellianism
2. *el"-monitoring
3. *el"-esteem
2.". :ac#ia'ellianism
-achiavellianism& a conce(t based on the 1;th-cent%ry )ritings o" iccolW -achiavelli
)ho o""ered advice on ho) to in"l%ence (eo(le and e2ert (o)er over others& re"ers to an
individ%al5s ability to mani(%late a sit%ation in order to in"l%ence and control it "or his o)n
(%r(oses HDavies& 1==4I. +eo(le high in -achiavellianism Hhigh -achsI not only mani(%late and
(ers%ade other (eo(le more than (eo(le lo) in -achiavellianism Hlo) -achsIK they o"ten
de"eat others5 (ers%asions H'hristie > Ceis& 1=?0I. +eo(le high in this (ersonality trait )ill go to
great lengths to reach s%ccess. Cenerally& high -achs vie) interactions as social com(etitions.
6hese individ%als o"ten are ideologically ne%tral& involve little emotion in their inter(ersonal
relationshi(s& and )ill shi"t commitment )hen doing so (romotes (ersonal gain H-%drack >
-ason& 1==7I.
=A
2.".2 Self-:onitoring
*el"-monitoring is the e2tent to )hich a (erson (ays attention to the social
re/%irements o" a sit%ation and& striving "or a((ro(riateness and e""ectiveness& ada(ts hisJ her
verbal and nonverbal behaviors H*nyder& 1=A?I. !ltho%gh most (eo(le modi"y their
comm%nication at one time or another de(ending on the conte2t& some (eo(le modi"y their
behaviors m%ch more reg%larly. #igh sel"-monitors& "or e2am(le& (ay close attention to others5
reactions to them and control ho) they (resent themselves in social interactions. Lo) sel"-
monitors& on the other hand& are less concerned )ith ho) others react to them and ty(ically
e2(ress )hat they think and "eel regardless o" the comm%nicative sit%ation H<ent > -oss&
1==0I. 'omm%nication scholar Pohn Daly H2002I o""ered t)o general "indings abo%t the
research cond%cted on sel"-monitoring. Dirst& high sel"-monitors are more conversationally
sensitive and "le2ible in their behaviors than lo) sel"-monitors. !da(ting their behavior allo)s
high sel"-monitors& considered hel("%l by their (eers HDlynn& 0eagans& !manat%llah& > !mes&
200;I& to be more inter(ersonally e""ective. *econd& lo) sel"-monitors behave more
consistently and maintain more tr%sting "riendshi(s than high sel"-monitors. Lo) sel"-monitors
comm%nicate more honestly& o"ten not )orrying abo%t the im(ression they make on other
(eo(le.
2."." Self-Esteem
*el"-esteem describes a (erson5s overall sel"-)orth. +eo(le )ith high sel"-esteem "eel
good abo%t themselves )hereas (eo(le )ith lo) sel"-esteem do not. *el"-esteem cannot be
given or a((ointed to someone. !ltho%gh )e can commend o%r "riends and their
accom(lishments& individ%als m%st recogniNe their level o" sel"-esteem. !t the same time& an
individ%al5s (erce(tion o" sel" %s%ally is based on his social interactions and conversations )ith
==
others HCla%ser& 1=A4I& and th%s& not s%r(risingly& individ%als )ith high sel"-esteem "eel more
com"ortable and con"ident )ith )hom they interact com(ared to individ%als )ith lo) sel"-
esteem.
2.'. Key Concept ' 1he Bi- 9i)e Persona%ity 9actors
! strong consens%s has emerged since the mid-1=A0s abo%t the n%mber and nat%re o"
(ersonality traits. Dive s%(er-ordinate "actors have emerged& o"ten re"erred to as the R1ig DiveR
or the 7-"actor model. 6he (resence o" these "ive "actors is )ell s%((orted by a )ide variety o"
research.
$arly evidence s%((orting a 7-"actor model )as (%blished by Diske& in 1=4=. D%ring the
1=A0s and 1==0s a vast array o" research combined to s%((ort the "ive "actor model. ot
everyone ho)ever agrees in the naming o" the "ive s%(er-traits. 6he 7-"actor model is
commonly meas%red by the $,!' by -c'rae and 'osta H2003I.
6he 1ig 7 according to the $,!' are e%roticism& $2traversion& ,(enness
to $2(erience& !greeableness and 'onscientio%sness H0emember ,'$!& or $,!'I:
1. e%roticism H$motional *tabilityI
2. $2traversion HIntroversionI
3. ,(enness to e2(erience H'loseness to e2(eriencesI
4. !greeableness HDisagreeablenessI
7. 'onscientio%sness HLack o" conscientio%snessI
$ach *%(er-trait is meas%red by ; "acets Hor s%bordinate traitsI. 6hese describe the
behavioral (attern and are de(icted in one5s comm%nication both e2(licitly and im(licitly:
9euroticism Extra'ersion =penness Agreeableness Conscientiousness
100
!n2iety 4armth Dantasy 6r%st 'om(etence
!ngry hostility Cregario%sness !esthetics *traight"or)ard-ness ,rder
De(ression !ssertiveness Deelings !ltr%ism D%ti"%lness
*el"-
conscio%sness
!ctivity !ctions 'om(liance !chievement striving
Im(%lsiveness $2citement-seeking Ideas -odesty *el" Disci(line
@%lnerability +ositive emotion @al%es 6ender-mindedness Deliberation

2.*. Key Concept * Ho6 Stab%e are Persona%ity 1raits#
'osta& -c'rae and !renberg H1=A0I cond%cted a longit%dinal st%dy o" 4;0 males aged
1?-A7 over a ; to 12 year (eriod. 6hey "o%nd correlations o" .?0X over time "or e2traversion and
high correlations "or ne%roticism. *t%dies generally sho) decline in $ and as (eo(le age. It
has been "o%nd thro%gh e2tensive research that )omen become more dominant& inde(endent&
and sel"-con"ident over time. ,ne m%st give d%e im(ortance to the c%lt%ral variation and their
e""ect on the genders behavioral (atterns. CeneraliNing them )o%ld be risky as it )o%ld lead to
mis(erce(tion& misre(resentation and miscomm%nication.
2.+. Key Concept + Comm"nication 1raits and Persona%ity 1raits
'omm%nication being a mani"est "orm o" behavior& a comm%nication trait may be
de"ined as an individ%al5s consistencies and di""erences in message-sending and -receiving
behaviors HIn"ante > 0ancer& 1==;I. 'omm%nication traits di""er "rom (ersonality traits in that
comm%nication traits "oc%s s(eci"ically on ho) (eo(le %se verbal and nonverbal messages to
stim%late meaning in receivers5 minds HIn"ante& 0ancer& > 4omack& 2003I. In a )ay&
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comm%nication traits can be considered a s%bset o" a (erson5s (ersonality traits.
!ll(ort and ,dbert H1=3;& cited in D%nder& 2001I "o%nd 1?&=73 )ords to describe the
)ay in )hich (eo(le are (sychologically di""erent "rom each other He.g. shy& tr%st)orthy&
laconic& (hlegmatic& kind& conscientio%s& an2io%s& etc.I. !ll these )ords describe (ersonality
traits. 6he trait a((roach tries to synthesiNe and "ormaliNe these traits in order to e2(lain and
(redict behavior.
It is im(ortant to note that the labeling o" traits is s%b3ective. #ence di""erent theorists
label similar or same traits %sing di""erent )ords. ,ne may also look "or the meaning that
%nderlies the trait& rather than sim(ly at the name. *imilar traits have been given di""erent
labels by di""erent theorists He.g.& ne%roticism and emotional stability %s%ally re"er to the same
traitI.
<ee(ing the inherent linkages bet)een (ersonality traits and the comm%nication traits&
the "oc%s has been limited to "o%r comm%nication traits des(ite o" n%mero%s traits kno)n to
in"l%ence ho) gro%( members comm%nicate. 6he "o%r traits are as "ollo)s
1. 'omm%nication a((rehension
2. 'omm%nicator style
3. !rg%mentativeness
4. @erbal aggressiveness
2.,. Key Concept , Comm"nication (pprehension
'omm%nication a((rehension describes 8an individ%al5s level o" "ear or an2iety
associated )ith either real or antici(ated comm%nication )ith another (erson or (ersons9
H-c'roskey& 1=??& (. ?AI. !n individ%al can be ranked high& moderate& or lo) in comm%nication
a((rehension. !n individ%al )ho is high in comm%nication a((rehension almost al)ays "eels
102
a((rehensive abo%t comm%nicating )ith other (eo(le )hereas an individ%al )ho is lo) in
comm%nication a((rehension hardly ever "eels a((rehensive abo%t comm%nicating )ith other
(eo(le. !n individ%al )ho is moderate in comm%nication a((rehension "alls some)here
bet)een being highly "ear"%l and not being "ear"%l at all& and tends to be more "le2ible in
dealing )ith comm%nication a((rehension on a daily basis.
'omm%nicator style describes the )ay an individ%al %ses verbal and nonverbal
'omm%nicative behaviors to indicate ho) literally others sho%ld take a message Horton& 1=?A&
1=A;I. !ccording to comm%nication scholar 0obert orton H1=?A&1=A3I& an individ%al5s
comm%nicator style com(rises any combination o" 10 comm%nicative attrib%tes: "riendly&
im(ression leaving& rela2ed& contentio%s& attentive& (recise& animated& dramatic& o(en& and
dominant. 1ased on orton5s H1=?A& 1=A3I )ork& *cott -yers& -atthe) -artin& and 6imothy
-ottet H2000I o""ered the "ollo)ing de"initions.
1. Friendly (eo(le& generally considered kind and caring& recogniNe others in a (ositive
)ay.
2. 6he impression leaving comm%nicate %sing a memorable style.
3. Relaxed comm%nicators a((ear an2iety-"ree& calm& and at ease )hen engaged in
interactions )ith others.
4. Contentious individ%als like to arg%e and may seem belligerent at times.
7. Attentive comm%nicators& concerned )ith %nderstanding others& listen e""ectively.
;. Precise comm%nicators try to be strictly acc%rate& %sing )ell-de"ined arg%ments and
s(eci"ic (roo" or evidence to clari"y their (ositions.
?. Animated comm%nicators %se eye contact& "acial e2(ressions& gest%res& body
movement& and (ost%re to e2aggerate content.
A. Dramatic comm%nicators %se stylistic devices He.g.& e2aggerations& rhythm& storiesI to
103
%nderscore content.
=. Open comm%nicators are straight"or)ard and do not have (roblems directly
comm%nicating their tho%ghts or emotions.
10. Dominant comm%nicators 8take charge9 o" the sit%ation by talking lo%der& longer& and
more "re/%ently than others.
Cenerally& an individ%al )ill %se several attrib%tes at the same time Horton& 1=A3I&
)hich creates an individ%al5s comm%nicator style& or cluster. Dor e2am(le& a dominant (erson
also may be animated& dramatic& andJor im(ression leaving& and an attentive (erson also may
be "riendly and rela2ed Horton& 1=?AI.
2.:. Key Concept : (r-"mentati)eness
!rg%mentativeness com(rises an individ%al5s ability to de"end his (osition on a
controversial iss%e )hile sim%ltaneo%sly attem(ting to re"%te another (erson5s (osition on the
same iss%e HIn"ante > 0ancer& 1=A2I. Drom this de"inition& an arg%mentative individ%al
rationally disc%sses a to(ic and does not engage in (ersonal attacks against others. +eo(le high
in arg%mentativeness are more likely to initiate an arg%ment and less likely to back a)ay "rom
an arg%ment than (eo(le lo) in arg%mentativeness. #ighly arg%mentative individ%als "eel more
motivated to arg%e H0ancer > In"ante& 1=A7I& have a greater n%mber o" (ositive belie"s abo%t
arg%ing H0ancer& 1a%k%s& > In"ante& 1=A7I& and (erceive an arg%ment as more en3oyable
H0ancer& <osberg& > 1a%k%s& 1==2I than minimally arg%mentative individ%als. #ighly
arg%mentative (eo(le also o"ten gro) more involved in interactions& and those )ith )hom
they interact (erceive them as more credible than minimally arg%mentative (eo(le
H,nyek)ere& 0%bin& > In"ante& 1==1I. 6o determine yo%r level o" arg%mentativeness& com(lete
the !rg%mentativeness *cale Hgiven %nder the activities )ork sheetsI. !ccording to
arg%mentativeness e2(erts& Dominic In"ante and !ndre) 0ancer H1==;I& engaging in
104
arg%mentativeness o""ers many bene"its.
4hen (eo(le arg%e they learn more& become less egocentric& realiNe ho) others think
and )hy& and become a)are o" in"ormation (revio%sly %nkno)n to them. !rg%mentative
individ%als also im(rove their abilities in (ers(ective taking& )hich is im(ortant )hen
individ%als attem(t to in"l%ence others. !dditionally& researchers have "o%nd that (eo(le en3oy
comm%nicating )ith arg%mentative individ%als& incl%ding co)orkers& s%(eriors& and (ro"essors
HIn"ante > Corden& 1=A7& 1=A=K -yers > <no2& 2000I. !rg%mentativeness& ho)ever& s(orts a
do)nside: 4hen e2tremely arg%mentative individ%als invest highly or (%t a (ersonal stake in
the iss%e& comm%nicating )ith them (resents a challenge HDrantN > *eb%rn& 2003I. It is
im(erative that emotions are ke(t o%t o" disc%ssion by an arg%mentative individ%al.
2.;. Key Concept ; >erba% (--ressi)eness
!ltho%gh arg%mentativeness "alls into the category o" constr%ctive comm%nication
traits& verbal aggressiveness "its in )ith destr%ctive comm%nication traits. @erbal
aggressiveness& or the tendency "or an individ%al to attack the sel"-conce(t o" another
individ%al "or the (%r(ose o" in"licting (sychological harm HIn"ante > 4igley& 1=A;I& is a "orm o"
symbolic aggression. Drom this de"inition& a verbally aggressive individ%al does not attack the
to(ic or the iss%eK rather& a verbally aggressive individ%al attacks some attrib%te o" a (erson
HIn"ante& 1=A?K <inney& 1==4I. 6hese attrib%tes are listed belo):
1. -aking derogatory comments abo%t a gro%( member5s character or com(etence
2. -aking derogatory comments abo%t a gro%( member5s backgro%nd or (hysical
a((earance
3. -aking derogatory comments abo%t a gro%( member5s "riends or romantic (artner
4. -aking derogatory comments abo%t a gro%( member5s gro%( membershi(s
107
7. 0idic%ling or making "%n o" ho) a gro%( member comm%nicates
;. *)earing at a gro%( member
?. Msing sarcasm to belittle a gro%( member
A. 6easing a gro%( member
=. 6hreatening to (hysically or (sychologically harm a gro%( member
+eo(le dis(laying high verbal aggressiveness %se these messages more "re/%ently than
(eo(le dis(laying lo) verbal aggressiveness HIn"ante& 0iddle& #orvath& > 6%mlin& 1==2I& and
they believe the %se o" these verbally aggressive messages is 3%sti"ied H-artin& !nderson& >
#orvath& 1==;I.
3$ Teac(ing Tec(ni4ues
6he teaching techni/%es "ollo)ed )o%ld enable the (artici(ants to develo( an %nderstanding
o" (ersonality& link the comm%nication (rocess& and identi"y the critical (arts involved in it. 6he
session )o%ld "ollo) the "ollo)ing teaching techni/%es
lect%ring
gro%( disc%ssion
+anel disc%ssions
,bservations
'ase st%dies
10;
+ersonal contracts
Debates
0ole (laying
*(ecial re(orts
*ym(osi%m
*ession Intervie)s
Acti'it0 2 *tart the session by an o(ening disc%ssion by asking the (artici(ants their
"amiliarity abo%t (ersonality. Lead the disc%ssion to activity 2.
Acti'it0 22 Introd%ce the basic conce(t o" (ersonality by %sing the (o)er (oint slides
Acti'it0 "2 a"ter covering (ersonality introd%ce the (artici(ants to the comm%nication
traits and cond%ct the activities involved
Acti'it0 $2 'irc%late the comm%nication a((rehension /%estionnaire to assess the
(artici(ant5s a((rehension
Acti'it0 %2 'irc%late the 'omm%nication *tyle /%estionnaire to assess the (artici(ant5s
comm%nication style.
10?
Acti'it0 (2 'irc%late the !rg%mentativeness /%estionnaire to assess the (artici(ant5s
themselves.
Acti'it0 .2 'irc%late the @erbal aggressiveness /%estionnaire to assess the (artici(ant5s
themselves
6his session disc%sses the comm%nication traits and the (ersonality traits. 6he
comm%nication traits disc%ssed here are 'omm%nication a((rehension& 'omm%nicator style&
!rg%mentativeness and @erbal aggressiveness. 6he (ersonality traits disc%ssed are:
-achiavellianism& *el"-monitoring& *el"-esteem and the 1ig Dive or ,'$!. In kee(ing )ith the
InsideB,%t model o" 'omm%nication this session5s "oc%s has been to delineate the di""erent
(ersonality traits and their in"l%ence or mani"estation in terms o" comm%nication traits.
#%man comm%nication cannot be %nderstood )itho%t kno)ing the %nderlying basic
(rinci(les o" h%man behavior and (sychology. It becomes all the more signi"icant in an
academic setting (rimarily the teacher-st%dent comm%nication and interaction as it has long
term and (ro"o%nd im(act on the "%t%re develo(ment o" st%dents both (ersonally and
(ro"essionally.
+$ Assessment
6he o%tcomes o" the session )o%ld be assessed by %sing the activity sheets c%m
/%estionnaires to ascertain the %nderstanding o" the (artici(ants abo%t
(ersonality traits and comm%nication traits. 6he (artici(ants shall be e2(ected to
%nderstand the in"ormation that the /%estions target to elicit "rom the
10A
(artici(ants. 6he same /%estionnaires shall be %sed in (air )ork and the res%lts
shall be disc%ssed to assess the de(th o" their %nderstanding a"ter the session.
6he /%ality o" the ans)ers shall determine their %nderstanding o" the traits
related %nderstanding.
6he (artici(ants shall identi"y (eo(le "rom )ithin the (artici(ants or recall "rom
their res(ective social environments and categoriNe them according to the
di""erent (ersonality traits.
6he (artici(ants shall enlist& describe and assess their o)n traits both (ersonality
and comm%nication s(eci"ic.
6he (artici(ants shall narrate their e2(eriences "rom the (ast )here they co%ld
have comm%nicated di""erently in a comm%nication sit%ation both academic and
non-academic had they the in"ormation abo%t the traits disc%ssed in this session
6he (artici(ants shall devise their "%t%re res(onses H'omm%nication 6raits and
skillsI in commonly occ%rring s(eci"ic comm%nication sit%ations in the light o"
their %nderstanding o" the (ersonality and comm%nication traits.
10=
Session /I" Communication and 1ersonalit&
5Inter'ersonal Communication and 1ersonalit& T&'e 6 1art %7
1.
Learning Outcomes
!"ter the s%ccess"%l com(letion o" this session the (artici(ants shall be able to:
Identi"y the most commonly %sed categories o" (ersonalities and their res(ective
comm%nication styles.
'lassi"y their (ersonal comm%nication styles.
'ategoriNe Hot stereoty(eI (eo(le as (er their dominant (ersonality dis(ositions.
$2(lain the di""erent (ersonality based comm%nication styles.
!((ly the di""erent comm%nication handling mechanisms as (er the
In session 7 (ersonality ty(es and traits and their con"l%ence )ith some o" the
comm%nication traits )ere disc%ssed to develo( an insight into the iss%es and com(le2ities o"
comm%nication. 6his session shall o""er a %ni/%e (ers(ective on comm%nication by e2(loring
the di""erent )ays and means to handle one5s comm%nication )ith the di""erent ty(es o"
(ersonalities and their comm%nication styles:
110
$2troverted and Introverted 'omm%nication *tyles
*ensing and Int%itive 'omm%nication *tyles
6hinking and Deeling 'omm%nication *tyles
2.1. Key Concept 1 0nf%"ence of Persona%ity 1ype on Comm"nication
It has been determined m%ch earlier in this mod%le that the receiver doesnGt necessarily
%nderstand message Hthe h%man dimensionI as intended by the sender. 6he (rime reason "or
this is that )e all bring baggage to every sit%ation. <no)ing and considering the ty(e o"
(ersonality that one is interacting )ith gives an advantage to handle the mechanics o" a
comm%nication sit%ation.
Inter(retation o" message is determined by attit%dinal (re"erence HintrovertJe2trovertI&
mode o" in"ormation gathering HsensingJint%itionI& the )ay decisions are made
HthinkingJ"eelingI& and orientation H3%dgingJ(erceivingI. 4hat "ollo)s is the mani"estation o"
the di""erent ty(es mentioned above and their t)o sides (ositive and negative viN. the s%nny
side and the shado) side res(ectively. In order to make it convenient "or the (artici(ants&
86i(s9 on ho) to comm%nicate )ith a (artic%lar ty(e o" (ersonality have also been added
o""ering )ell researched (ractices in e""ective comm%nication. Dor the sake o" %nderstanding
the "ormat has been changed. 6he b%lleted "orms have been %sed to give it the look o" a 8to do
list9 that allo) easy gras(ing and to the (oint coverage.
111
2.2. Key Concept 2 $5tro)erted and 0ntro)erted Comm"nication Sty%es
2.2. Communicating *it# extro'erts
A. T#e Sunn0 Side
$2troverts dra) energy e2ternallyK striking %( conversation sho%ld be easy.
$2trovert is enth%siastic to (artici(ate in gro%(.
6hey (re"er "ace to "ace over distant.
6hey en3oy sharing e2(erience Bneed contact.
6y(ically they say )hat they mean and state )hat is on their minds.
B. T#e S#ado* Side
4hen t)o e2troverts comm%nicate both may say )hat is on their minds-di""ic%lty
in getting a )ord inE Listening may not be strength.
6here is tendency to s(eak "irst and think later- so one may h%rt "eelings i" not
conscio%s o" this tendency.
I" they contin%e %nabated they may e2aggerate and an introvert can vie) an
e2trovert as s%(er"icial or insincere.
$2trovert can be /%ite im(osing on a /%iet introvert.
112
2.2.2 Communicating *it# intro'erts
A. T#e Sunn0 side
Introvert energy is "rom )ithinK they avoid the cro)d and like inde(endent
activity.
Do not concl%de that there is something )rong i" they )ant to be alone.
onverbal comm%nications can tell more.
*ched%le a((ointment )ith introvert rather that dro((ing in.
6hey are more di""ic%lt to get to kno) -reserved and share )ith a "e).
6hey have a small gro%( o" "riends.
*ome o" most social comm%nicators can be closet introverts.
B. T#e S#ado* Side
Introversion can be vie)ed as )eakness by dominant gro%(.
Introvert can be vie)ed as antisocial-a lone )ol" )ho needs to be "i2ed.
Introvert can be vie)ed as arrogant& condescending& and %n"riendly.
,thers can (ro3ect their "ears onto /%iet one.
2.2." Tips for intro'erts >communicating *it# extro'erts?
+0!'6I'$ , +0,DM'6I@$ ',@$0*!6I, Bchit chat.
L,,< !LI@$ B/%ick res(onse& lively attit%de.
1$ $T+0$**I@$ Bsho) interest& emotion& involvement.
II6I!6$ ',6!'6 Bstart a conversation.
113
+0,@ID$ D$$D1!'< Bstate ho) yo% "eel.
'#!C$ ,@$01!L ',--MI'!6I,-rela2& smile& establish eye contact
2.2.$ Tips for extro'erts >communicating *it# intro'erts?
0$*+$'6 +0I@!'. BdonGt (ry& do not im(ose& allo) room.
6!<$ 6I-$ 6, LI*6$ Bbe (atient& check yo%r tendency to "ill the silence.
D,*6$0 60M*6 Bg%ard secrets and check yo%r tendency to share too honestly as it
may a((ear b%rles/%e and harsh comment on others in their absence.
D, ,6 ,@$0+,4$0 Btone do)n.
D, ,6 PMDC$ Bacce(t that (eo(le are di""erent.
2.&. Key Concept & Sensin- and 0nt"iti)e Comm"nication Sty%es
2.". Communicating *it# sensors
A. T#e Sunn0 Side
*ensors are do)n to earthK realists base decisions on (ractical and "act%al things.
6hey talk abo%t detail& "easibility& %se"%lness in a detached )ay.
'oncern )ith time& cost& (roced%re Borderly ste(-by-ste(.
*ensors )ill give s(eci"ic e2am(les.
*ensor )ill have sched%leJagenda and )ill "ollo) it.
B. T#e S#ado* Side
*ensor can be overly a)are o" "acts Bnit-(icking d%e to )hich others t%ne o%t.
,verde(endence on (roblems co%ld make them (erceived as (essimist.
114
$2(erience isnGt an absol%te g%arantee.
*ensor co%ld "ind (roblem )ith thinker )ho %ses theory and (ossibility.
2.".2 Communicating *it# intuiti'e
A. T#e Sunn0 Side
Int%itive has less o" need to comm%nicate "acts Bmore global
Int%itive )ill begin )ith conce(t& idea& insight& (ossibilities.
Int%itive relies on h%nch& imagination.
6hey love novel a((roach-conce(t%al level-abstract.
4ill deviate "rom agenda.
Int%itive lang%age is color"%l& meta(horic.
B. T#e S#ado* Side
Int%itive can a((ear vag%e-irritating to (ractical ty(e.
,thers may see comm%nication )ith int%itive a )aste o" time.
-eta(hor can get in )ay o" clarity.
117
2."." Tips for sensors >communicating *it# intuiti'e?
D,G6 ,@$0C$$0!LIU$ ,0 *6!6$ !1*,LM6$* B(ersonal e2(eriences do not
g%arantee tr%th B"acts can be incom(lete.
!LL,4 6I-$ 6, ',*ID$0 +,**I1ILI6I$* BdonGt limit imagination.
10,!D$ +$0*+$'6I@$ Ballo) the conce(t%al.
L,,< D,0 -$!IC* !D 0$L!6I,*#I+*BInt%itive interested in meaning B
Inter(ret "acts.
DID $4 4!.* 6, $T+0$** ID,0-!6I, BInt%itive likes novel
2.".$ Tips for intuiti'e >communicating *it# sensors?
D,'M* , #$0$ !D ,4
1!*$ ID$!* , D!'6M!L ID,0-!6I,
1$ -,0$ DI0$'6 I ',--MI'!6I, Bomit meta(hor
!++$!0 -,0$ L$@$L #$!D$D B be care"%l )ith enth%siasm
0$*+$'6 60!DI6I,!L -$6#,D*
2.'. Key Concept ' 1hinkin- and 9ee%in- Comm"nication Sty%es
2.$. Communicating *it# t#in)ers
A. T#e Sunn0 Side
6hinker en3oys theoretical iss%es Bdebate and disc%ssion.
6hey are ob3ective Bdo)n(lay (ersonal as(ects.
6hey are critical and ob3ective.
11;
6hey are "air& rational& and (recise.
6hey are goal oriented Bdo not like to )aste time
B. T#e S#ado* Side
6hinker can be cold and im(ersonal.
6hey can be tedio%s to others.
6heir ideas can be im(ractical or %seless.
6hey may be too critical.
6heir logical side can be limiting Bsome belie"s not based on logic.
2.$.2 Communicating *it# feelers
A. T#e Sunn0 Side
1. Deeler interaction is (ersonal and s%b3ective.
2. 6hey are "riendly.
3. 6hey consider val%es and e""ect on other.
4. 6hey are em(hatic and emotionally (ers%asive.
7. 6hey are rece(tive to others and inviting.
B. T#e S#ado* Side
1. Deelers can be time )asters and may lack ob3ectivity.
2. 6hey can be over)helmed by enth%siasm or emotion.
3. 6hey can have di""ic%lty e2(ressing negative emotion.
2.$." Tips for t#in)ers >communicating *it# feelers?
11?
-!<$ ',--MI'!6I, +$0*,!L 0$L$@!6 !D -$!ICDML.
1$ -,0$ !++0$'I!6I@$ ,D !,6#$0 ',--$6 Be2(lore the "eeling.
$T+!D ',--MI'!6I, -$**!C$*BD,G6 *,MD LI<$ ',-+M6$0.
-!<$ 0,,- D,0 ,0!6I,!LJ+!0!D,T Bli"e to be lived not solved.
2.$.$ T@PS A=& AEEBE&S >communicating *it# t#in)ers?
C$6 6, +,I6 Bomit "riendly chit chat.
1$ -,0$ ,1P$'6I@$ Btake sel" o%t-s(eak their lang%age.
*$$ 1,6# *ID$* Beval%ate (ros and cons.
D,'M* , ',6$6 Bavoid to%chy "eely.
2.*. Key Concept * D"d-in- and Percei)in- Comm"nication Sty%es
2.%. Communicating *it# Cudgers
A. T#e Sunn0 Side
P%dgers are (re(ared in advance.
6hey are oriented to sched%les& timetables& and (lans.
6hey are str%ct%red and organiNed.
6heir mind set in based on clos%re.
6hey are (%r(ose"%l and task oriented.
6hey limit digressions.
B. T#e S#ado* Side
P%dger can be rigid& in"le2ible& constricting& lacking in s(ontaneity.
11A
6hey may have less "%n Bno room "or s%r(rise.
'an be too serio%s and b%sinesslike.
'an make (remat%re decisions.
2.%.2 Communicating *it# percei'ers
A. T#e Sunn0 Side
+erceivers are "le2ible& accommodating.
'a%tio%s abo%t stating concl%sion.
,riented to o(tions and contingencies.
0es(onsive and ada(tive.
B. T#e S#ado* Side
+erceivers can have slo) res(onse time Blateness.
6hey can be disorganiNed and ill-(re(ared.
6hey can be indecisive B(rocrastinate.
6hey can be ine""ective.
6hey may %ndermine their o)n con"idence.
2.%." Tips for Cudgers >communicating *it# percei'ers?
,+$ M+ 6, M$T+$'6$D Bdisr%(tions )ill occ%r.
1MILD DL$TI1ILI6. Bmake do)ntimeK go )ith "lo).
D,G6 PM-+ 6, ','LM*I,* Beval%ate
11=
LI*6$ 6, ,6#$0 *ID$
#!0$** $$D D,0 ',60,L
2.%.$ Tips for percei'ers >communicating *it# Cudgers?
1$ L$** @!CM$ Btell )hat is being considered and e2(lain
1$ -,0$ D$'I*I@$ Ba timely decision
4!6'# M*$ ,D R.$!#& 1M6 R
$*M0$ ',--MI'!6I,* !0$ , 6I-$
3.
Teac(ing A''roac(es
6he "ollo)ing teaching techni/%es )o%ld be %sed d%ring this session:
lect%ring
gro%( disc%ssion
+anel disc%ssions
,bservations
'ase st%dies
120
+ersonal contracts
Debates
0ole (laying
*(ecial re(orts
*ym(osi%m
*ession Intervie)s
,%t-o"-class assignments
4orksho(s
4.
Learning Acti!ities
Identi"y the most commonly %sed categories o" (ersonalities and their res(ective
'lassi"y their (ersonal comm%nication styles.
'ategoriNe Hot stereoty(eI (eo(le as (er their dominant (ersonality dis(ositions.
$2(lain the di""erent (ersonality based comm%nication styles.
!((ly the di""erent comm%nication handling mechanisms as (er the
121
Acti'it0 2 1egin the session )ith the (revio%s session5s revision o" the (ersonality traits
and comm%nication traits.
Acti'it0 22 Introd%ce the (artici(ants to the "o%r (ersonality ty(es.
Acti'it0 "2 Introd%ce the di""erent (ersonality based comm%nication styles to the
(artici(ants.
Acti'it0 $2 !sk the (artici(ants i" they can identi"y themselves )ith any one or more
ty(es o" the (ersonality ty(es by enlisting their traits.
Acti'it0 %2 Dorm gro%(s consisting o" (artici(ants "rom the same category and ask them
to enlist their traits as agreed to collectively.
Acti'it0 (2 -ake ne) gro%(s )ith individ%als "rom all the categories and ask them to
disc%ss a to(ic %sing role (lay HCive them a to(ic or conte2t i" controlled disc%ssion is (re"erred
according to the (artici(antsI )hile %sing the comm%nication ti(s given to handle
comm%nication )ith each category.
Acti'it0 .2 !sk the (artici(ants to share their e2(erience o" %sing the changed
comm%nication style )ith the di""erent (ersonality ty(es.
In this session )hich is a contin%ation o" session 7 'omm%nication and (ersonality&
disc%sses vario%s (ersonality ty(es and their in"l%ence on comm%nication. 6he comm%nications
re"lected by vario%s (ersonality ty(es identi"ied are attit%dinal (re"erence HintrovertJe2trovertIK
mode o" in"ormation gathering HsensingJint%itionIK the )ay decisions are made
122
HthinkingJ"eelingIK and ho) )e orient H3%dgingJ(erceivingI
6his session is "ollo)ed by comm%nication and body Lang%age in )hich body lang%age a
non verbal "orm o" comm%nication is disc%ssed in detail.
+$ Assessment
+artici(ants )o%ld be assessed thro%gh identi"ying the (ersonality ty(es o"
characters in a case st%dy de(icting a comm%nication sit%ation.
!n identi"ied gro%( o" (artici(ants )o%ld %se role (laying )here as another gro%(
o" (artici(ants )o%ld observe and note the comm%nication style and re(ort on
the ty(e o" (ersonalities they )o%ld have concl%ded on the basis o"
comm%nication style.
6he (artici(ants )o%ld enlist their o)n styles giving e2am(les "rom their ro%tine
comm%nication sit%ation.

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Session /II" Communication and ,od& Language 6 1art#
#$ Learning Outcomes
!"ter s%ccess"%lly %nderstanding the in"ormation given in this session the (artici(ants
shall be able to:
'onte2t%aliNe onB@erbal 'omm%nication in their comm%nication settings both
academic and non-academic.
$nlist a n%mber o" gest%res they %se in comm%nicating and signaling di""erent
meaning
,bserve and identi"y di""erent gest%res o" other (artici(ants and sharing their
inter(retation.
Mse in an observable manner the hand gest%res and eyes gest%res "or e""ective
comm%nication.
'omm%nication com(rises o" t)o "orms viN.& verbal and non verbal. @erbal
comm%nication is the "orm in )hich an e2change takes (lace in "orm o" symbols or )ords and
sentences.
on-verbal comm%nication is a ty(e o" comm%nication that em(loys gest%res and body
lang%age. In order to develo( %nderstanding some content has been derived "rom H.am 1=A2I.
In )hich he disc%sses non verbal comm%nication im(ortant to re"lect in an ed%cational
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environment. ,%t o" many the "ollo)ing have been selected "or disc%ssion in this session:
1. !((ro(riate %se o" gest%res and body movements.
2. 0elevant %se o" eye contact.
2.1. Key Concept 1 2on3>erba% 0nterpersona% Comm"nication
!n inter(ersonal comm%nication is a comm%nication that takes (lace bet)een t)o or
more than t)o (eo(le. 6his can be a dialog%e e2change or lect%ring in an academic session. 6he
n%mber o" (eo(le in a comm%nication sit%ation a""ects the %se o" non-verbal comm%nication.
6he more the (ersons involved& the more com(le2 the %se and %nderstanding o" the non-verbal
comm%nication becomes. #o)ever& to deci(her the non-verbal comm%nication it is im(ortant
to see& inter(ret and %nderstand them holistically and in a conte2t& )hile identi"ying the
di""erent ty(es o" (ersonalities involved. It also hel(s a great deal i" the roles are %nderstood in
a gro%( comm%nication sit%ation.
2.2. Key Concept 2 Body .an-"a-e
.o%Gve (robably come across this Gr%leG that I )o%ld mention belo)& d%ring a
comm%nication seminar or co%rse some)here. 6his r%le is commonly /%oted o%t o" conte2t
leading to )rong inter(retations and concl%sions that lead to miscomm%nications.
6he original research to )hich everyone re"ers )as %ndertaken in 1=?1 by !lbert
-ehrabian H+ro"essor $merit%s o" +sychology& M'L!I. #e had reached t)o concl%sions:
1 - 6here are basically three elements in any "ace-to-"ace comm%nication:
4ords
6one o" voice and
1ody lang%age.
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2 - 6hese three elements acco%nt di""erently "or the meaning o" the message:
4ords acco%nt "or ?Y
6one o" voice acco%nts "or 3AY and
1ody lang%age acco%nts "or 77Y o" the message.
It seems that many (eo(le )ho /%ote -ehrabianGs research seem %na)are that this
second concl%sion )as ,6 a general observation relevant to all comm%nications.
-ehrabian reached this second concl%sion in the conte2t o" e2(eriments dealing )ith
comm%nications o" "eelings and attit%des Hi.e.& like-dislikeI. 6h%s the o"ten /%oted
dis(ro(ortionate in"l%ence o" tone o" voice and body lang%age is only really tr%e )hen
someone says they likeJdislike somethingJsomeone b%t their tone o" voice or body lang%age
im(lies the o((osite. 'ommonly this )ill mean that t)o or more o" the three elements are
ambig%o%s. *%ch ambig%ity a((ears mostly )hen the )ords s(oken are inconsistent )ith the
tone o" voice or body lang%age o" the s(eaker.
6his )o%ld be the case "or e2am(le )hen someone says RI do not have a (roblem )ith
yo%ER )hilst at the same time their closed body lang%age says the o((osite and they avoid eye-
contact and so%nd an2io%s. In s%ch sit%ations& -ehrabianGs research sho)ed that the receiver
o" the comm%nication )ill acce(t the (redominant "orm o" comm%nication& the non-verbal
H3AY X 77YI& rather than the literal meaning o" the )ords H?YI.
-ehrabian s(eci"ically states: ;<lease note that this and other e=uations regarding relative
importance of verbal and nonverbal messages were derived from experiments dealing with
communications of feelings and attitudes (i.e., like-dislike). >nless a communicator is talking about their
feelings or attitudes, these e=uations are not applicable.;
H))).kaa3.comJ(sychJsmorder.htmlI
1esides the above clari"ication& congr%ence is the essence o" e""ective comm%nication.
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6hat is& o%r body lang%age and tone o" voice sho%ld be consistent )ith the )ords )e %se. 6his is
only (ossible )hen )e say )hat )e mean to say and say it rightly. ,ther)ise )e can con"%se
(eo(le and red%ce the (ros(ect o" getting o%r message across to be %nderstood. 4e have to
take res(onsibility o%rselves "or any "ail%re to comm%nicate e""ectively. It is o%r "a%lt and not
the "a%lt o" o%r listeners.
6he )ords )e choose to %se are generally more im(ortant than is o"ten ass%med.
'ertainly& )hen making a (resentation )e need to (ay 3%st as m%ch attention to the )ords )e
say as )e do to the )ay in )hich )e )ill (resent them - ho) )e )ill move and the variations in
o%r tone o" voice.
6his is good ne)s as most (eo(le )ill s(end "ar more time )orking o%t 4#!6 they are
going to say than rehearsing #,4 they are going to say it and #,4 they )ill move )hen they
are talking. +artic%larly in o%r comm%nications )ith 8signi"icant others&9 the #,4 "actor also
becomes im(ortant as it involves more than the 4#!6.
+erha(s one reason )hy -ehrabianGs research is /%oted so o"ten tho%gh is that body
lang%age and tone o" voice are evidently im(ortant as(ects o" comm%nication. !nd in the
absence o" any other validated research )e have to /%ote -ehrabian to make the (oint - even
i" )e do so o%t o" conte2t. *%ch /%otes are generally e""ective tho%gh - maybe beca%se o" the
tone o" voice the s(eaker %ses and their body lang%age )hen they tell %s abo%t the R?Y-3AY-
77Y 0%leR.
#ere& the term Rbody lang%ageR is %sed to denote non-verbal comm%nications. 4e
s(eak t)o Flang%ages5: one %ses )ords& )hich is generally re"erred to as verbal and the other
one %ses o%r body& non-verbal comm%nication. R1ody Lang%ageR is the comm%nication o"
(ersonal "eelings& emotions& attit%des& and tho%ghts thro%gh body-movements s%ch as
gest%res& (ost%res& "acial e2(ressions& )alking styles and (ositions. 6hese movements can be
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done either conscio%sly or invol%ntarilyK more o"ten they Fha((en5 s%bconscio%sly& and are
accom(anied& or not accom(anied& by )ords.
4ithin the last "e) years a ne) and e2citing science has been %ncovered and e2(lored.
It is called body lang%age. 1oth its )ritten "orm and the scienti"ic st%dy o" it have been labeled
kinesics. 1ody lang%age and kinesics are based on the behavioral (atterns o" non-verbal
comm%nication& b%t they can be co%nted on the "ingers o" the hand.
'linical st%dies have revealed the e2tent to )hich body lang%age can act%ally contradict
verbal comm%nications. Imagine a sit%ation )here a teacher may 3%st be )ondering that )hy a
st%dent or a colleag%e is not res(onding to hisJher verbal comm%nication the )ay that sJhe
)as e2(ecting. 6he chances are that hisJher body lang%age )as comm%nicating something
contrary to )hat sJhe )as saying verbally and it )as the body lang%age that )as getting
registered rather than the (lanned and conscio%s verbal comm%nication. 6he body lang%age
reveals o%r inner "eelings abo%t any (artic%lar (erson or to(ic and the same )o%ld get revealed
and most (robably get noticed also.
6he )ay in )hich yo% "old yo%r arms& cross yo%r legs& sit& stand& )alk& move yo%r head&
eyes& li(s reveal )hat yo% may be thinking or "eeling. Dor instance& yo% may be sitting and
conversing )ith a (ersonK s%ddenly& he leans "or)ard and )ith both arms gri(s the chair or
both his knees. 6hereby& he non-verbally comm%nicates to yo% his desire to end the meeting.
1ody lang%age has shed ne) light on the dynamics o" relationshi(s. ! class room
sit%ation& "or e2am(le& can give a revealing (ict%re o" itsel" sim(ly by the )ay its members Hi.e.
st%dents and the teacherI move their arms and legs. I" the teacher& )hile sitting& crosses her
legs "irst& "ollo)ed by the same (ost%re by the st%dents& tho%gh she& as )ell as the rest o" the
class& may not be a)are o" )hat she is doing it. 4hile her )ords may deny her leadershi( as
she asks her st%dents "or advice& the %ns(oken& "ollo)-the-leader cl%e in her action gives the
12A
class room set-%( a)ay to someone kno)ledgeable in kinesics.
!s a st%dent o" non-verbal comm%nication& I remember being ta%ght to observe my o)n
body lang%age "irst thro%gh a techni/%e called %helicoptering) )hich is in "act 8hovering9 as a
helico(ter and vie)ing yo%r o)n sel" "rom above. It s%rely needs (ractice and (atience and
strong vis%aliNation. It is like (lacing yo%rsel" on the ceiling and describing yo%rsel" as seen "rom
above. I )o%ld sit "or long ho%rs "oc%sing on mysel" and observing my body lang%age be"ore I
)as ta%ght to observe others5 body lang%age. I have trained over years to %se it and o" co%rse
inter(ret it. D%ring seminars and trainings many (artici(ants have asked me re(eatedly abo%t
the best )ay to learn and %se body lang%age. 6here cannot be a better res(onse than this:
%?earning is ac=uired by reading books, but the much more necessary learning, the knowledge of the
world, is only to be ac=uired by reading men, and studying all the various editions of them.; @ ?ord
Chesterfield, ;letters to his !on;.
2.3.
Key Concept & Hands /est"res
#ands and arms are %sed by most o" %s to comm%nicate o%r tho%ghts. +eo(le r%b arms
together& kee( their arms closed& and clinch the "ists. !ll these tell )hat the (erson has in his
mind invol%ntary.
6his lady r%bs the (alms together. It is a )ay that (eo(le non-verbally comm%nicate
(ositive e2(ectations. 6he dice thro)er r%bs the dice bet)een his (alms as a sign o" his (ositive
e2(ectancy o" )inning.
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#ands clenched together. !t "irst this seems to be a con"ident gest%re as some (eo(le
)ho %se it are o"ten smiling and so%nd ha((y. #o)ever& i" the hands are clenched too tightly& it
is indicative o" "r%stration and may %s%ally be seen in sales men )ho lost their sales call. 6his is
there"ore a gest%re sho)ing a "r%strated or hostile attit%de. 6he gest%re has three main
(ositionsK hands clenched in "ront o" the "ace& hands resting on the desk or on the la( )hen
seated and (laced "ront o" the crotch )hen standing.
2.'. Key Concept ' Pa%m -est"res
6he o(en (alm has been associated )ith tr%th& honesty& allegiance& and s%bmission.
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-any oaths are taken )ith the (alm o" the hand over the heart. In day to day enco%nters&
(eo(le %se t)o basic (alm (ositions. 6he "irst has the (alm "acing %()ards and so
characteristics o" the beggar asking "or money or "ood. 6he second has (alm "acing do)n as i" it
is holding do)n or restraining.
Dominant +alm Cest%re
*%bmissive +alm Cest%re
2.*. Key Concept * ("thoritati)e Pa%m /est"re
,ne o" the most val%able )ays to discover )hether someone is being o(en and honest
or not is to look "or (alm dis(lays. 4hen someone begins to o(en %( or be tr%th"%l& she or he
)ill e2(ose all or (art o" his (alms to another (erson. Like most body lang%age& this is a
com(letely %nconscio%s gest%re& one that gives yo% a "elling or h%nch that the other (erson is
telling the tr%th. Like most body lang%age& this is a com(letely %nconscio%s gest%re& one that
gives yo% a "elling or h%nch that the other (erson is telling the tr%th. 4hen a child is lying or
concealing something& his (alms are hidden behind his (ockets or in an arm "old (osition )hen
he tries to e2(lain )here he )as. 6h%s& the hidden (alms may give his mother a h%nch that he
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is holding back the tr%th.
!%thoritative +alm Cest%re
2.+. Key Concept + Handshake
2.(. 9ormal #ands#a)e
*haking hands is a relic o" the caveman era. 4henever cavemen met& their (alms )o%ld
be e2(osed to sho) that no )ea(ons )ere held or concealed. 6his (alm-in-air gest%re became
modi"ied over the cent%ries and s%ch gest%res as the (alm raised in the air& the (alm over the
heart& and n%mero%s other variations develo(ed. 6he modern "orm o" this greeting rit%al is the
interlocking and shaking o" the (alms )hich& in most co%ntries& is (er"ormed both on initial
greeting and on de(art%re. 6he hands are normally (%m(ed "ive to seven times. #o)ever&
(%m(ing varies "rom c%lt%re to c%lt%re as slight variation e2ists. *ome act%ally shake hand s%ch
as 'hinese (eo(le )hile (%m(ing it.
2.(.2 Dominant #ands#a)e
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'onsidering )hat has already been said abo%t the im(act o" a command given in both
the (alm-%( and (alm-do)n (ositions& Let %s e2(lore the relevance o" these t)o (alm (ositions
in hand shaking. 6%rning yo%r hand so that yo%r (alm "aces do)n in the handshake transmits
dominance. .o%r (alm need not be "acing the "loor directly& b%t )o%ld be "acing do)n)ards in
relation to the other (ersonGs (alm and this indicates yo%r dominance or e""ort to dominate the
other (erson. *t%dies o" s%ccess"%l senior management (eo(le have revealed that not only did
"orty-t)o initiate the handshake& b%t they also %sed dominant handshake control.
Dominant #andshake
2.(." Submissi'e #ands#a)e
P%st as the dog sho)s s%bmission by rolling on its back and e2(osing its throat to the
victor& so the h%man %ses the (alm-%( gest%re to sho) s%bmission to others. 6he reverse o" the
dominant handshake is to o""er yo%r hand )ith yo%r (alm "acing %()ards. 6his is (artic%larly
e""ective )hen yo% )ant to give the other (erson control or allo) him to "eel that he is in
command o" the sit%ation.
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*%bmissive #andshake
2.,. Key Concept , $ye /est"res
$asily the least controversial o" all the areas o" nonverbal comm%nication is "acial
e2(ression& as this o""ers the most readily observable gro%( o" gest%res. 4e "oc%s o%r eyes on
the "ace more o"ten than on any other (art o" the body& and the e2(ressions )e see there have
)idely acce(ted meanings. !lmost everyone has enco%ntered Ra look that co%ld kill&R Ra "ish
eye&R a Rcome-hither look&R or an RIGm availableR glance.
In a given conte2t i" a (ros(ectGs eyes are do)ncast and "ace t%rned a)ay& yo%Gre being
sh%t o%t& ho)ever& i" the mo%th )ard& he is (robably considering yo%r (resentation. I" his eyes
engage yo%rs "or several seconds at a time )ith a slight& one-sided smile e2tending at least to
nose level& he is )eighing yo%r (ro(osal. 6hen i" he is rela2ed and a((ears enth%siastic& the sale
is virt%ally made.
It is only )hen yo% see Geye to eyeG )ith another (erson that a real basis "or
comm%nication can be established. 4hile some (eo(le can make %s "eel /%ite com"ortable
)hen they converse )ith %sK others can make %s "eel ill-at ease and some seem %ntr%st)orthy.
6his has to do (rimarily )ith the length o" time that they look at %s or hold gaNe as they s(eak.
4hen a (erson is being dishonest or holding back in"ormation& his eyes meet o%rs less than
one-third o" the time. I" more than t)o third sJhe "inds interesting and i" a bit longer than sJhe
may act%ally be challenging non-verbally.
2... T#e business gaDe
4hen having disc%ssions on a b%siness level& yo% create a serio%s atmos(here by
kee(ing yo%r gaNe above the other (ersonGs eye. 6he distance matters tho%gh. 6he triangle
134
bet)een the eyes and the "orehead "orms the area "or the b%siness gaNe. It is im(ortant to
kno) that d%ring the b%siness conversation one may be dealing )ith (eo(le sJhe already is
"amiliar )ith and has a certain com"ort level there"ore it may also occasionally incl%de the
social gaNe. In case it is strictly b%siness& the social gaNe m%st be avoided.
2...2 T#e social gaDe
4hen the gaNe dro(s belo) the other (ersonGs eye level& a social atmos(here develo(s.
6he eye level is bet)een the eye and the mo%th. 6his is normally %niversally acce(ted.
#o)ever& social gaNe is %sed )hen there is lesser degree o" "ormality. #%man beings are social
beings and nat%rally socialiNe there"ore this is most commonly %sed gaNe.
2..." T#e intimate gaDe
6he gaNe is across the eyes and belo) the chin to other (arts o" the (ersonGs body. In
close enco%nters& it is the triang%lar area bet)een the eyes and the chest or breast and "or
137
distant gaNing "rom the eye to the crotch. -en and )omen %se this gaNe in an intimate
relationshi( as it is indicative o" sho)ing interest in each other and those )ho are interested
)ill ret%rn the gaNe. It is im(erative to kno) that this co%ld be inter(reted as a very threatening
signal i" contin%ed a"ter re(%lsive signal or the sh%tting o%t gest%re "rom the other (erson. It
m%st there"ore be %sed )ith e2treme care and ca%tion.
2...$ T#e s#ut ot#ers gestures
$yes are %sed in many )ays as )hen a (erson sh%ts his eyes "or a "e) seconds
combined )ith avoiding eye contact that means that the (erson doesn5t )ant to listen anything
more. 6hese gest%res are %sed in daily %se conte2t. In a gro%( a (erson may indicate his or her
%n)illingness to converse )ith one (artic%lar individ%al by sh%tting the eyes or avoiding eye
contact& )hile being very attentive to the other (erson. 6his )o%ld also be com(limented )ith
the (ost%re o" the body and the direction o" the toe. 6he body and the toe )o%ld be in the
direction o" the (erson )ith )hom conversation is being so%ght.
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3$
Teac(ing A''roac(es
lect%ring
gro%( disc%ssion
+anel disc%ssions
,bservations
'ase st%dies
+ersonal contracts
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Debates
0ole (laying
*(ecial re(orts
*ym(osi%m
*ession Intervie)s
4orksho(s
)$
Learning Acti!ities
Acti'it0 2 !sk the (artici(ants abo%t their %nderstanding o" non-verbal lang%age.
Acti'it0 22 Introd%ce the (artici(ants to the di""erent "orms o" comm%nication )hile
"oc%sing on the non-verbal comm%nication.
Acti'it0 "2 Introd%ce the three as(ects o" comm%nication and the role they (lay in
comm%nication e""ectiveness.
Acti'it0 $2 !sk the (artici(ants i" they can identi"y some o" the gest%res they %se
increasingly d%ring their co%rse o" conversation.
Acti'it0 %2 $2(lain the di""erent hand and eyes gest%res and their %se.
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Acti'it0 (2 Dorm ne) gro%(s or carry on )ith the same ones as made d%ring the
(revio%s consisting o" (artici(ants "rom the same category o" (ersonality and ask them to "ind
o%t i" there is any commonality in their %se o" gest%res.
Acti'it0 .2 !sk the (artici(ants to share their e2(erience o" %sing body lang%age and
ho) this kno)ledge has in"l%enced their comm%nication.
on-verbal comm%nication is in tr%e essence the de(iction o" the inside-o%t
comm%nication. It is a neglected as(ect o" comm%nication d%e to the o%tside-in "orm o"
comm%nication that )e teach at o%r academic instit%tions. 6he "oc%s o" this (aradigm is on
)ords and its %sage. 6his obvio%sly is very limiting and does not (rovide "or com(lete
%nderstanding o" comm%nication.
It is im(erative "or teachers to e""ectively %se non-verbal comm%nication and it is
e/%ally im(ortant to be able to inter(ret body lang%age thro%gh the di""erent gest%res covered
in the session. 6hese gest%res as %sed by the st%dents )o%ld "acilitate the teachers in
%nderstanding them and their comm%nication styles as mani"est thro%gh body lang%age
allo)ing e""ective learning thro%gh enhanced comm%nication.
6his session is "ollo)ed by that o" gest%res related to leg (ositioning and head
(ositioning. It shall also cover the s%bconscio%s as(ects o" the non-verbal comm%nication.
+$ Assessment
+artici(ants )o%ld be assessed thro%gh identi"ying the di""erent gest%res %sed
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d%ring comm%nication
+artici(ants )o%ld also be e2(ected to inter(ret the di""erent gest%res and
e2(lain them d%ring the session.
+artici(ants )o%ld be given )orksheets )ith di""erent body gest%res and asked to
inter(ret them.
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Session /III" Communication and ,od& Language21art %
#$ Learning Outcomes
!"ter s%ccess"%lly %nderstanding the in"ormation given in this session the (artici(ants
shall be able to:
'onte2t%aliNe their %se o" leg and head gest%res in their comm%nication settings.
$nlist a n%mber o" leg and head (ositioning gest%res they %se in comm%nicating
and signaling di""erent meaning
,bserve and identi"y di""erent gest%res o" other (artici(ants and sharing their
inter(retation.
Mse in an observable manner the leg and head gest%res "or e""ective
comm%nication.
*ome o" the most common and yet most neglected gest%res are the leg gest%res and
the head (ositioning. 6hese are a bit less observable and can be discreet. 6hey need conscio%s
e""orts to be observed and then inter(reted in a s(eci"ic conte2t. 6he sim(le reason being that
leg gest%res do not "all )ithin the nat%ral (%rvie) o" o%r eyes "oc%s and identically noting head
(ositioning gets dominated by the "acial e2(ressions.
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2.1. Key Concept 1 .e- -est"res
2.. Cross-leg gestures.
Like arm barrier gest%res& crossed legs are a signal that a negative or de"ensive attit%de
may e2ist. 6he (%r(ose o" crossing the arms on the chest )as originally to de"end the heart and
%((er body region and crossing the legs is an attem(t to shield the genital area. 'rossed arms
also indicate a more negative attit%de than do crossed legs and the arms gest%res is more
obvio%s. 'are sho%ld be taken )hen inter(reting crossed leg gest%res )ith )omen as many
have been ta%ght that this is ho) to Gsit like a ladyG. Mn"ort%nately "or them& ho)ever& the
gest%re can make them a((ear de"ensive.
2..2 T#e Standard leg-cross position.
,ne leg is crossed neatly over the other %s%ally the right over the le"t. 6his is the normal
crossed-leg (osition %sed by $%ro(ean& 1ritish& !%stralian and e) Uealand c%lt%res and may
be %sed to sho) a nervo%s& reserved or de"ensive attit%de. #o)ever& this is %s%ally a s%((ortive
gest%re that occ%rs )ith other negative gest%res and sho%ld not be inter(reted in isolation or
o%t o" conte2t. Dor e2am(le& (eo(le o"ten sit like this d%ring lect%res or i" they are on
142
%ncom"ortable chairs "or long (eriods. It is also common to see this gest%re in cold )eather.
4hen the crossed legs gest%re is combined )ith crossed arms& the (erson has )ithdra)n "rom
the conversation.
2.." T#e figure $ leg-loc) position.
6his leg cross indicates that an arg%mentative or com(etitive attit%de e2ists. It is the
sitting (osition %sed by many !merican males as )ell as +akistani 8'ha%dhrys9& 84adiras9& i.e.&
in"l%ential land lords )ith a%thoritative (ositions )ithin their o)n "ie"doms. 6his being the case&
it is di""ic%lt to inter(ret the attit%de o" an !merican d%ring a conversation. !n %rban +akistani
)o%ld "ind it rather r%de and identically it )o%ld be /%ite obvio%s )hen a 1ritish citiNen %ses
this gest%re. 6his gest%re is not observable in "emale generally %nless one is mentally a male B a
tom boy.
143
2..$ Beg clamp
! (erson )ho has a hard and "ast attit%de in an arg%ment or debate )ill o"ten lock the
"ig%re 4 into (lace )ith one or both hands& %sing them as a clam(. 6his is a sign o" the to%gh-
minded& st%bborn individ%al )ho may need a s(ecial a((roach to break thro%gh his resistance.
*tanding leg cross gest%res. 6he ne2t time yo% attend a meeting or "%nction& yo% )ill
notice small gro%(s o" (eo(le all standing )ith their arms and legs crossed. ,bservation )ill
also reveal that they are standing at a greater distance "rom each other than the c%stomary
one& and that& i" they are )earing coats or 3ackets& they are %s%ally b%ttoned. I" yo% )ere to
/%estion these (eo(le& yo% )o%ld "ind that one or all o" them are strangers to the others in the
gro%(. 6his is ho) most (eo(le stand )hen they are among (eo(le )hom they do not kno)
)ell.
144
2..% T#e an)le-loc) gesture
'rossing or "olding the arms or legs s%ggests that a negative or de"ensive attit%de e2ists&
and this is also the case )ith the ankle lock& )hich is o"ten combined )ith clenched "ists resting
on the arms o" the chair. 6he "emale version varies slightlyK the knees are held together& the
"eet may be to one side and the hands rest side by side or one on to( o" the other resting on
the %((er legs.
2..( T#e foot loc)
4omen almost e2cl%sively %se the gest%re. 6he to( o" one "oot locks aro%nd the other
leg to rein"orce a de"ensive attit%de and& )hen this gest%re a((ears& yo% can be s%re that the
)oman has become a mental recl%se or has retreated like a tortoise into her shell. ! )arm&
"riendly lo)-key a((roach is needed i" yo% event%ally ho(e to o(en this clam(. 6his (osition is
common to shy or timid )omen.
147
2.2. Key Concept 2 Pickin- 0ma-inary .int
4hen a (erson disa((roves o" the o(inion or attit%des o" others b%t "eels constrained in
the giving his (oint o" vie)& his non-verbal gest%res that occ%r are kno)n as dis(lacement
gest%res& that is& they res%lt "rom a )ithheld o(inion. +icking imaginary (ieces o" lint "rom
clothing is one s%ch gest%re. 6he lint (icker %s%ally looks a)ay "rom the other (eo(le to)ards
the "loor )hile (er"orming this minor& irrelevant action. 6his is the most common signal o"
disa((roval.
+icking Imaginary Lint
2.3.
Key Concept & Head /est"res
#ead is very im(ortant in body lang%age. +eo(le tell a lot )ith their head (osition.
4hen (eo(le kee( their head straight tilted and head do)n looking thro%gh belo) o"
eyebro)s. 6hese gest%res tell the mood o" ackno)ledgement& a((roval& do%bt and interest in a
(erson.
14;
e%tral #ead +osition
Disa((roval +osition
2.'. Key Concept ' $)eryone Eses Body .an-"a-e
+eo(le cannot live )itho%t each other& )e are social beings. !s soon as )e are in
contact )ith others )e are comm%nicating. Dor this& in o%r general %nderstanding )e only
make %se o" s(oken and )ritten lang%age. In these )ays )e make the content o" a message
clear to each other. #o)ever )e also comm%nicate )itho%t )ords. 6his kind o" comm%nication
tells %s something abo%t the relationshi( bet)een (eo(le. ,"ten& this is more im(ortant than
getting the content o" the message across. 6he comm%nication abo%t this non s(oken
comm%nication& )hich tells %s something abo%t the relationshi( bet)een (eo(le& is called
-eta-'omm%nication: 'omm%nicating abo%t comm%nicationE
2.*. Key Concept * !ords (re 0nadeq"ate
4hen )e connect )ith a (erson& )e also have to make it clear to each other ho) the
content o" a s(oken message needs to be inter(reted. #o) )e do this says something abo%t
the relationshi( )e have )ith the other (erson& or think )e have any)ay. ,"ten )ords are
inade/%ate "or this (%r(ose. Dor instance& )e do not tell each other that easily ho) )e "eel
abo%t each other& or ho) the )ords o" a message need to be inter(reted. 6o make the meaning
o" o%r )ords clear& )e %se body lang%age. 1ody lang%age is a lang%age )itho%t s(oken )ords
14?
and is there"ore called non-verbal comm%nication. 4e %se body lang%age all the time& "or
instance looking someone in the eyes means something di""erent than not looking someone in
the eyes. 4hen )e are in contact )ith others& it is 3%st not (ossible to be not comm%nicating
something.
2.+. Key Concept + Comm"nication of the S"bconscio"s
Ms%ally body lang%age occ%rs %nconscio%sly. .et& the body lang%age )e %se decides to a
large e2tent the /%ality o" o%r comm%nication. It "ollo)s that there"ore it )o%ld be good to
become conscio%s o" o%r o)n and othersG body lang%age. 4e can learn to %se o%r body
lang%age "or a (%r(ose. !s )ell as learn to %nderstand and inter(ret body lang%age o" others. It
is im(ortant to note that body lang%age has di""erent meanings in di""erent c%lt%res. #o) )e
can inter(ret body lang%age de(ends on the sit%ation& the c%lt%re& the relationshi( )e have
)ith the (erson as )ell as the gender o" the other. 6his means that there is not one signal that
has the same meaning all over the )orld. I" yo% do not take this into acco%nt& yo% may get
yo%rsel" in some serio%s tro%bleE 1ody lang%age is also interlinked )ith s(oken lang%age and a
)hole (attern o" behavior "rom a (erson. !s )ell as that& vario%s body lang%age signs can
com(lement each other to make a (artic%lar meaning crystal clear or strengthen the meaning
o" )hat )e comm%nicate. *ome gro%(s have develo(ed a )hole s(eci"ic body lang%age )hich
can be very e2(licit in its meaning and is %sed to comm%nicate )here the %se o" )ords may
other)ise be di""ic%lt or dangero%s. $2am(les o" this are mostly gro%(s& s%ch as combat
(latoons& (eo(le in slavery& (risoners& etc.
14A
2.,. Key Concept , Esed 1o $5press 9ee%in-s
1ody lang%age is %sed es(ecially to e2(ress "eelings. Dor instance& i" )e do not like
someone& it is o"ten di""ic%lt to say that directly to the (erson. #o)ever& )e can make it clear
either intentionally or %nintentionally thro%gh body lang%age. 6he o((osite is also tr%e. 4e
may say that )e !0$ angry thro%gh )ords yet o%r body lang%age may be saying lo%d and clear
that )e are ,6. 6his can be very con"%sing "or the receiver. 6his is %s%ally described as giving
o%t do%ble messages - one message in )ords and the other one in body lang%age. It is also
di""ic%lt to lie or cover %( o%r "eelings thro%gh body lang%age. +eo(le may give their tr%e
"eelings a)ay by not being a)are o" their body lang%age. 0esearch has sho)n that most (eo(le
(ay more attention to& and believe more readily& their im(ression o" ho) a (erson acts thro%gh
body lang%age than )hat is said thro%gh )ords. !s a conse/%ence& )e tend to do%bt& or (%t a
/%estion mark behind the s(oken )ords i" they do not corres(ond )ith the lang%age o" the
body.
2.:. Key Concept : 1he 0mportance of Kno6in- Ho6 !e
Comm"nicate
#o) )e come across to someone is decided only by a small (art by the )ords )e s(eak.
6o leave a good im(ression behind& say at a 3ob intervie)& it is im(ortant that )e kno)& and to
a certain e2tent can control& o%r body lang%age. 6he (erson on the receiving end o" o%r body
lang%age )ill have a "eeling or im(ression that is o"ten di""ic%lt to describe - di""ic%lt to (%t into
)ords or di""ic%lt to (rove )hat act%ally )as comm%nicated. #avenGt )e all said at times: GI
have a "eeling heJshe likes meG& or something like: GI do%bt i" )hat heJshe is saying is really the
tr%thG. 6his ty(e o" "eeling is called int%ition. 1ody lang%age (lays a big role in int%ition as it
gives %s messages abo%t the other (erson that )e can inter(ret at an int%itive level. It is
there"ore necessary to get to kno) o%r o)n body lang%age "irst. 4e sho%ld learn abo%t it so
14=
that )e can recogniNe it in others as )ell as in o%rselves. Dor this (%r(ose& all the di""erent
as(ects o" body lang%age that )e can learn something "rom are essential.
3.
Teac(ing A''roac(es
lect%ring
gro%( disc%ssion
+anel disc%ssions
,bservations
'ase st%dies
+ersonal contracts
Debates
0ole (laying
*(ecial re(orts
170
*ym(osi%m
*ession Intervie)s
4orksho(s
4.
Learning Acti!ities
Acti'it0 2 !sk the (artici(ants abo%t their %se o" gest%res related to (ositioning o" legs
and head.
Acti'it0 22 Introd%ce the (artici(ants to the di""erent gest%res and conte2t%aliNe them in
their o)n comm%nication sit%ation.
Acti'it0 "2 $laborate the link )ith the s%b conscio%s and the body lang%age.
Acti'it0 $2 !sk the (artici(ants i" they can identi"y some o" the gest%res they %se
(artic%larly that embodies their emotions.
Acti'it0 %2 !sk the (artici(ants abo%t other s%ch gest%res that are c%lt%re s(eci"ic or
gender s(eci"ic.
4e sometimes %se lang%age to conceal rather than reveal and in the d%e (rocess
171
comm%nication is lost. 1ody Lang%age as +art o" 'omm%nication is integral to e""ective
comm%nication. 1ody lang%age is de"initely revealing& b%t at the same time sho%ld not be seen
se(arately "rom all other "orms o" comm%nication.
It is also very im(ortant ,6 to see body lang%age in isolation or inter(ret 3%st "e)
gest%res and dra) concl%sions. 1ody lang%age "acilitates o%r %nderstanding accom(anied )ith
the verbal lang%age. 6he gest%res disc%ssed d%ring the session are 3%st some o" the signs that
)e %se. 6here are so many o" gest%res and other signs that indicate and tell %s a lot abo%t a
(erson. 6he sessions on non-verbal comm%nication %sed here serve the (%r(ose o" sensitiNing
the (artici(ants to the need to %nderstand the role o" non-verbal comm%nication and th%s
enable them to learn "rom their daily interactions. 6his is a li"e long (rocess as the more )e
interact )ith a variety o" h%man beings the more )e learn abo%t their %se o" body lang%age in
comm%nication.
+$ Assessment
+artici(ants )o%ld be assessed thro%gh identi"ying the di""erent gest%res %sed
d%ring comm%nication
+artici(ants )o%ld also be e2(ected to inter(ret the di""erent gest%res and
e2(lain them d%ring the session.
+artici(ants )o%ld be given )orksheets )ith di""erent body gest%res and asked to
inter(ret them.
6he (artici(ants )o%ld enlist their o)n gest%res that they conscio%sly %se to
comm%nicate
172
6he (artici(ants )o%ld also share the ne) gest%res that they have come to kno)
o" a"ter attending this session by giving (ersonal e2am(les or by re"erring to
earlier comm%nication sit%ations that they can inter(ret better no).
173
D. Material
D. Session -Acti'it0 2
,#at is Communication<
Complete t#e follo*ing sentences2
1. !n activity& e2change& or set o" behaviors is considered a ______________.
2. ! shared %nderstanding o" the message is the de"inition o" _____________.
3. 'omm%nication is a (rocess o" __________ and ___________.
4. Mnderstanding means (erceiving& inter(reting& and ____________ the __________
o" verbal and nonverbal behavior o" others.
meaning
(rocess
com(rehendingJmeaning
%nderstandingJsharing meaning
174
D2. Session -Acti'it0 "
Communication C#allenge-Acti'it02 @ncreasing Eour Self-A*areness
Pose(h De@ito& in 6he 'omm%nication #andbook H1=A;&(.2?4I& s%ggests some )ays o"
increasing sel"-a)areness. 6hey incl%de the "ollo)ing:
Complete t#e Sentence *it# *#at comes to mind first2
1. I am _______________________________________________________
2. I am _______________________________________________________
3. I am _______________________________________________________
4. I am _______________________________________________________
7. I am _______________________________________________________
;. I am _______________________________________________________
?. I am _______________________________________________________
A. I am_______________________________________________________
=. I am _______________________________________________________
10. I am _______________________________________________________
177
D". Session 2-Acti'it0 (
Case in Point 8Ps0c#ological Bloc)s2 Acti'it0
.o% are called %(on in a sta"" meeting to give a (resentation on yo%r organiNation5s ne)
health (olicy "or its em(loyees. 6he (rogram has c%t do)n the amo%nt o" ,%t-door +atient Day
H,+DI treatment by hal". !ltho%gh the ne) (olicy incl%des e2(anded coverage o" eye and
dental care& b%t also a ten (ercent decrease in the total amo%nt that yo%r organiNation )ill (ay
"or hos(italiNation and lab tests. .o% kno) the changes in the (olicy )ill not be )ell receivedK it
is also yo%r "irst (resentation to the "%ll sta"". 4hat (sychological blocks may yo% e2(ect to
con"ront both in yo%r sel" and in yo%r a%dienceL #o) might yo% try to overcome themL
FFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFF
17;
D$. Session $-Acti'it0 "
17?
D%. Section $-Acti'it0 (
Using attribution to understand class performance and resol'e t#roug# communication
4ahab& a 2
nd
semester b%siness st%dent& scored average marks in the 1st semester and
cleared it )ith least semester (romotion C+!. $arlier he had done D*' )ith minimal marks and
managed to seek admission in a %niversity located in 04+JI*L.
+ast record o" the 1st semester indicated that on average he mostly a((eared late in
class. #e did not meet his assignment s%bmission deadlines in most o" the s%b3ects& )hile rest
o" the class "ollo)ed the instr%ction.
In a gro%( assignment his colleag%es com(leted the task on their o)n and 4ahab5s (art
o" the )ork remained incom(lete bringing embarrassment to the )hole gro%( in "ront o" the
teacher. #is gro%( members also noted that he )as not creative in solving assignments and )as
di""ic%lt to )ork )ith.
6his )as the sit%ation in"ormed by the st%dents )here as the teachers also "aced similar
(roblems. D%ring the lect%res the teachers observed that he (aid little attention in the class
and )as "o%nd staring o%tside the )indo) most o" the time& )hich irritated and ca%sed
distraction d%ring the lect%re. ,ther than that (assing ridic%lo%s comments to teachers )as a
habit. #e also never came (re(ared to the class and kne) very little abo%t the co%rse ta%ght in
the (revio%s lect%res.
6o hel( %s %nderstand the case the st%dent belonged to a noble "amily )here all his
necessities )ere taken care o".
17A
Causes of class performance
@ery little @ery m%ch
a. #igh ability 1 2 3 4 7
b. Lo) ability 1 2 3 4 7
c. Lo) e""ort 1 2 3 4 7
d. Di""ic%lt 3ob 1 2 3 4 7
e. Mn(rod%ctive colleag%es 1 2 3 4 7
". 1ad l%ck 1 2 3 4 7
Internal attrib%tion Htotal score "or ca%ses a& b and cI
$2ternal attrib%tion Htotal score "or ca%ses d& e and "I
Guestions
1. #o) )o%ld yo% eval%ate 4ahab5s class (er"ormance in terms o"
a. consens%s
b. distinctiveness
c. consistency
2. Is 4ahab5s (er"ormance d%e to internal or e2ternal
3. #o) comm%nication skills can be %sed to develo( a (ositive attit%de o" the case.
17=
D(. Personal &eport of Communication Appre#ension
6his /%estionnaire contains statements abo%t comm%nicating )ith other (eo(le.
Indicate the e2tent to )hich each statement a((lies to yo% (ersonally according to the
"ollo)ing scale.
I" yo% strongly agree )ith the statement& )rite 1 in the blank.
I" yo% agree )ith the statement& )rite 2 in the blank.
I" yo% are %ndecided abo%t the statement& )rite 3 in the blank.
I" yo% disagree )ith the statement& )rite 4 in the blank.
I" yo% strongly disagree )ith the statement& )rite 7 in the blank
_______1. I dislike (artici(ating in gro%( disc%ssions.
_______2. Cenerally& I am com"ortable )hile (artici(ating in gro%( disc%ssions.
_______3. I am tense and nervo%s )hile (artici(ating in gro%( disc%ssions.
_______4. I like to get involved in gro%( disc%ssions.
_______7. $ngaging in a gro%( disc%ssion )ith ne) (eo(le makes me tense and nervo%s.
_______;. I am calm and rela2ed )hile (artici(ating in gro%( disc%ssions.
_______?. Cenerally& I am nervo%s )hen I have to (artici(ate in a meeting.
_______A. Ms%ally& I am calm and rela2ed )hile (artici(ating in meetings.
_______=. I am very calm and rela2ed )hen called on to e2(ress an o(inion at a meeting.
_______10. I am a"raid to e2(ress mysel" at meetings.
1;0
_______11. 'omm%nicating at meetings %s%ally makes me %ncom"ortable.
_______12. I am very rela2ed )hen ans)ering /%estions at a meeting.
_______13. 4hile (artici(ating in a conversation )ith a ne) ac/%aintance& I "eel very nervo%s.
_______14. I have no "ear o" s(eaking %( in conversations.
_______17. ,rdinarily I am very tense and nervo%s in conversations.
_______1;. 4hile conversing )ith a ne) ac/%aintance& I "eel very rela2ed.
_______1?. ,rdinarily I am very calm and rela2ed in conversations.
_______1A. I am a"raid to s(eak %( in conversations.
_______1=. I have no "ear o" giving a s(eech.
_______20. 'ertain (arts o" my body "eel very tense and rigid )hile I am giving a s(eech.
_______21. I "eel rela2ed )hile giving a s(eech.
_______22. -y tho%ghts become con"%sed and 3%mble )hen I am giving a s(eech.
_______23. I "ace the (ros(ect o" giving a s(eech )ith con"idence.
_______24. 4hile giving a s(eech& I get so nervo%s I "orget "acts I really kno).
1;1
D.. Communication St0le :easure
6his /%estionnaire contains statements abo%t yo%r comm%nicative behaviors. Indicate
ho) o"ten each statement is tr%e "or yo% (ersonally according to the "ollo)ing scale.
I" the statement is almost al)ays tr%e& )rite 7 in the blank.
I" the statement is o"ten tr%e& )rite 4 in the blank.
I" the statement is occasionally tr%e& )rite 3 in the blank.
I" the statement is rarely tr%e& )rite 2 in the blank.
I" the statement is almost never tr%e& )rite 1 in the blank.
_____1. I am com"ortable )ith all varieties o" (eo(le.
_____2. I la%gh easily.
_____3. I readily e2(ress admiration "or others.
_____4. 4hat I say %s%ally leaves an im(ression on (eo(le.
_____7. I leave (eo(le )ith an im(ression o" me that they de"initely tend to remember.
_____;. 6o be "riendly& I verbally ackno)ledge others5 contrib%tions.
_____?. I am a very good comm%nicator.
_____A. I have some nervo%s mannerisms in my s(eech.
_____=. I am a very rela2ed comm%nicator.
_____10. 4hen I disagree )ith others& I am very /%ick to challenge them.
1;2
_____11. I can al)ays re(eat back to a (erson e2actly )hat he or she meant.
_____12. 6he so%nd o" my voice is very easy to recogniNe.
_____13. I am a very (recise comm%nicator.
_____14. I leave a de"inite im(ression on (eo(le.
_____17. 6he rhythm or "lo) o" my s(eech is sometimes a""ected by nervo%sness.
_____1;. Mnder (ress%re& I come across as a rela2ed s(eaker.
_____1?. -y eyes re"lect e2actly )hat I am "eeling )hen I comm%nicate.
_____1A. I dramatiNe a lot.
_____1=. I al)ays "ind it very easy to comm%nicate on a one-to-one basis )ith (eo(le I
do not kno) very )ell.
_____20. Ms%ally& I deliberately react in s%ch a )ay that (eo(le kno) I am listening to
them.
_____21. Ms%ally& I do not tell (eo(le m%ch abo%t mysel" %ntil I get to kno) them )ell.
_____22. I tell 3okes& anecdotes& and stories& )hen I comm%nicate.
_____23. I tend to constantly gest%re )hen I comm%nicate.
_____24. I am an e2tremely o(en comm%nicator.
_____27. I am a vocally lo%d comm%nicator.
_____2;. In a small gro%( o" (eo(le I do not kno) very )ell& I am a very good
comm%nicator.
_____2?. In arg%ments or di""erences o" o(inion& I insist %(on very (recise de"initions.
_____2A. In most sit%ations& I s(eak very "re/%ently.
_____2=. I "ind it e2tremely& easy to maintain a conversation )ith a member o" the
1;3
o((osite se2.
_____30. I like to be strictly acc%rate )hen I comm%nicate.
_____31. 1eca%se I have a lo%d voice& I can easily break into a conversation.
_____32. ,"ten I (hysically and vocally act o%t )hen I comm%nicate.
_____33. I have an assertive voice.
_____34. I readily reveal (ersonal things abo%t mysel".
_____37. I am dominant in conversations.
_____3;. I am very arg%mentative.
_____3?. ,nce I get )o%nd %( in a heated disc%ssion& I have a hard time sto((ing
mysel".
_____3A. I am an e2tremely "riendly comm%nicator.
_____3=. I really like to listen very care"%lly to (eo(le.
_____40. I insist that other (eo(le doc%ment or (resent some kind o" (roo" "or )hat
they are arg%ing.
_____41. I try to take charge o" things )hen I am )ith (eo(le.
_____42. it bothers me to dro( an arg%ment that is not resolved.
_____43. In most sit%ations I tend to come on strong.
_____44. I am very e2(ressive nonverbally.
_____47. 6he )ay I say something %s%ally leaves an im(ression on (eo(le.
_____4;. 4henever I comm%nicate& I tend to be very enco%raging to (eo(le.
_____4?. I actively %se a lot o" "acial e2(ressions )hen I comm%nicate.
_____4A. I verbally e2aggerate to em(hasiNe a (oint.
1;4
_____4=. I am an e2tremely attentive comm%nicate.
_____70. !s a r%le& I o(enly e2(ress my "eelings and emotions.
1;7
D1. Argumentati'eness Scale
6his /%estionnaire contains statements abo%t controversial iss%es. Indicate ho) o"ten
each statement is tr%e "or yo% (ersonally according to the "ollo)ing scale.
I" the statement is almost never tr%e& )rite 1 in the blank
_____1. 4hile in an arg%ment& I )orry that the (erson I am arg%ing )ith )ill "orm a
negative im(ression o" me.
_____2. !rg%ing over controversial iss%es im(roves my intelligence.
_____3. I en3oy avoiding arg%ments.
_____4. I am energetic and enth%siastic )hen I arg%e.
_____7. ,nce I "inish an arg%ment& I (romise mysel" that I )ill not get into another
arg%ment.
_____;. !rg%ing )ith a (erson creates more (roblems than it solves.
_____?. I have a (leasant& good "eeling )hen I )in a (oint in an arg%ment.
_____A. 4hen I "inish arg%ing )ith someone& I "eel nervo%s and %(set.
_____=. I en3oy a good arg%ment over a controversial iss%e.
1;;
_____10. I get an %n(leasant "eeling )hen I realiNe I am abo%t to get into an arg%ment.
_____11. I en3oy de"ending my (oint o" vie) on an iss%e.
_____12. I am ha((y )hen I kee( an arg%ment "rom ha((ening.
_____13. I do not like to miss the o((ort%nity to arg%e over a controversial iss%e.
_____14. I (re"er being )ith (eo(le )ho rarely disagree )ith me.
_____17. I consider an arg%ment to be an e2citing intellect%al challenge.
_____1;. I "ind mysel" %nable to think o" e""ective (oints d%ring an arg%ment.
_____1?. I "eel re"reshed and satis"ied a"ter an arg%ment on a controversial iss%e.
_____1A. I have the ability to do )ell in an arg%ment.
_____1=. I try to avoid getting into arg%ments.
_____20. I "eel e2citement )hen I e2(ect that a conversation I am in is leading to an
arg%ment.
1;?
D5. Herbal Aggressi'eness Scale
6his /%estionnaire is concerned )ith ho) )e try to get (eo(le to com(ly )ith o%r
)ishes. Dor each statement& (lease indicate the e2tent to )hich yo% "eel it is tr%e "or yo% in
yo%r attem(ts to in"l%ence others.
I" the statement is almost never tr%e& )rite 1 in the blank.
_____1. I am e2tremely care"%l to avoid attacking individ%als5 intelligence )hen I attack
their ideas.
_____2. 4hen individ%als are very st%bborn& I %se ins%lts to so"ten the st%bbornness.
_____3. I try very hard to avoid having other (eo(le "eel bad abo%t themselves )hen I
try to in"l%ence them.
_____4. 4hen (eo(le re"%se to do task I kno) is im(ortant& )itho%t good reason& I tell
them that they are %nreasonable.
_____7. 4hen other (eo(le do things I regard as st%(id& I try to be e2tremely gentle
)ith them.
_____;. I" individ%als I am trying to in"l%ence really deserve it& I attack their character.
_____?. 4hen (eo(le behave in )ays that are in very (oor taste& I ins%lt them in order
1;A
to shock them into (ro(er behavior.
_____A. I try to make (eo(le "eel good abo%t them even )hen their ideas are st%(id.
_____=. 4hen (eo(le sim(ly )ill not b%dge on a matter o" im(ortance& I lose my
tem(er and say rather strong things to them.
_____10. 4hen (eo(le criticiNe my shortcomings& I take it in good h%mor and do not try
to get back at them.
_____11. 4hen individ%als ins%lt me& I get a lot o" (leas%re o%t o" really telling them o"".
_____12. 4hen I dislike individ%als greatly& I try not to sho) it in )hat I say or ho) I say
it.
_____13. I like (oking "%n at (eo(le )ho do things that are very st%(id in order to
stim%late their intelligence.
_____14. 4hen I attack others5 ideas& I try not to damage their sel"-conce(t.
_____17. 4hen I try to in"l%ence (eo(le& I make a great e""ort not to o""end them.
_____1;. 4hen (eo(le do things that are mean or cr%el& I attack their character in order
to hel( correct their behavior.
_____1?. I re"%se to (artici(ate in arg%ments )hen they involve (ersonal attacks.
_____1A. 4hen nothing seems to )ork in trying to in"l%ence others& I yell and scream in
order to get some movement "rom them.
_____1=. 4hen I am not able to re"%te others5 (ositions& I try to make them "eel
de"ensive in order to )eaken their (ositions.
_____20. 4hen an arg%ment shi"ts to (ersonal attacks& I try hard to change the s%b3ect.
1;=
D6. @ssues in Communication- -roup Acti'it02 T#e @mportance
of Self-Concept
D%ring the last (art o" the nineteenth cent%ry& a (restigio%s ,hio banker raised his
da%ghter Dlorence& as i" she )ere the son he )o%ld never have. #e trained her in the )ays o"
b%siness& and instilled in her a sense o" inde(endence and a s(irit o" sel"-reliance. 6his
%(bringing (roved e""ective )hen she gravitated to)ards male dominated co%rses in school. !
talented m%sician as )ell& she enrolled in the 'incinnati 'onservatory at 1? to st%dy (iano.
#er ambitio%s (lans "or a career in the arts ended abr%(tly )hen her mother5s illness
"orced her to ret%rn home. $mbittered& disdain"%l o" ho%se)ork& and (lag%ed by /%arrels )ith
her dominating "ather& Dlorence didn5t remain home long. !t 1=& she )as rebellio%s and even
m%ch later %n)illing to get into any relationshi(. It )as not %ntil she )as thirty that she "o%nd
her ideal h%sband. #e )as a good-looking editor o" the local (a(er& and "ive years her 3%niorK he
shared her many interests.
Dlorence& al)ays an inde(endent so%l& re"%sed to )ear a )edding band Hshe
)o%ld never 8belong9 to anyoneI and at the )edding rece(tion anno%nced her goal to make
her h%sband the +resident o" the Mnited *tates. !((ro(riately he gave her the nick names9
1oss9 and 8D%chess9. Dlorence o(inionated "ather co%ld not hel( b%t broadcast his vie) that
his son- in-la) 4arren& )o%ld not amo%nt too m%ch. 4arren lived %( to his )ell kno)n
re(%tation o" being a (hilanderer. 6he (ro(hecy o" his "ail%re might have come tr%e b%t "or
Dlorence5s (ersistence.
,verlooking his indiscretions& she %sed her (osition as his )i"e to advance the ca%se o"
1?0
)omen& kee( racists o%t o" a((ointed o""ices. !nd to re"orm (risons. 4hen 4arren C. #arding
died in o""ice& Dlorence )as at his side not 3%st as his )i"e b%t as the Dirst Lady )ho re-o(ened
the 4hite #o%se to the (%blic& became the master o" (residential (%blic relations& and )ho )as
the architect o" her h%sband5s short-lived (residency.
1ased on *ylvia P%kes -orris& 8*tanding by #er -an9 H a revie) o" 'arl *. !nthony5s
Dlorence #arding: 6he "irst Lady& the 3aNN !ge &and the death o" !merica5s -ost *candalo%s
+resident& e) .ork: -orro)I.6he 4ashington +ost 1ook 4orld& P%ly 7&1==A&((.3&11.
!((ly )hat yo% have learned abo%t sel"-a)areness and sel"-conce(t as yo% (onder and
disc%ss the "ollo)ing /%estions:
1. #o) did the "eedback Dlorence received "rom her "ather a((ear to a""ect hersel"
conce(tL
2. Do yo% think she )as conscio%s o" hersel" conce(t& )hy or )hy notL
3. 4hat ty(e o" scri(t do yo% think she co%ld have given hersel" and )hyL
4. #o) do yo% think Dlorence )o%ld describe her sel"-conce(tL
7. #o) has yo%r "amily in"l%enced yo%r sel"-conce(tL
1?1
D. Communication C#allenge-Acti'it02 @ncreasing Eour Self-
A*areness
Pose(h De@ito&in 6he 'omm%nication #andbookH1=A;&(.2?4I& s%ggests some )ays o"
increasing sel"-a)areness. 6hey incl%de the "ollo)ing:
Complete t#e Sentence *it# *#at comes to mind first2
1. I am _______________________________________________________
2. I am _______________________________________________________
3. I am _______________________________________________________
4. I am _______________________________________________________
7. I am _______________________________________________________
;. I am _______________________________________________________
?. I am _______________________________________________________
A. I am_______________________________________________________
=. I am _______________________________________________________
10. I am _______________________________________________________
1?2
E. 0e.erences and ,ibliogra'(&
!nderson& 'hristo(her +. 6he ame Came. e) .ork: Pove& 1=?=.
!nderson& '. -.& > -artin& -. -. H1==7I. 6he e""ects o" comm%nication motives& interaction
involvement& and loneliness on satis"action: ! model o" small gro%(s. *mall Cro%(
0esearch& 2;& 11AB13?.
!nderson& '. -.& > -artin& -. -. H1===I. #o) arg%mentativeness and verbal aggressiveness
a""ect cohesion& consens%s& and satis"action in small gro%(s. 'omm%nication 0e(orts&
12& 21B31.
!nderson& L. 0. H1=?AI. Cro%(s )o%ld do better )itho%t h%mans. +ersonality and *ocial
+sychology 1%lletin& 4& 77?B77A.
1lickle& C.& #abasch& !.& > *en"t& 4. H1==AI. @erbal aggressiveness: 'once(t%aliNation and
meas%rement a decade later. +sychological 0e(orts& A2& 2A?B2=A.
1ochner& !. +.& > 1ochner& 1. H1=?2I. ! m%ltivariate investigation o" -achiavellianism and task
str%ct%re in "o%r-man gro%(s. *(eech -onogra(hs& 3=& 2??B2A7.
1ochner& !. +.& Di*alvo&@.& > Ponas&@. H1=?7I. ! com(%ter-assisted analysis o" small gro%(
(rocess: !n Investigation o" t)o -achiavellian gro%(s. *mall Cro%( 1ehavior& ;& 1=?B
203.
1%rgoon& P. <. H1=??I. Mn)illingness to comm%nicate as a (redictor o" small gro%( disc%ssion
behaviors and eval%ations. 'entral *tates *(eech Po%rnal& 2A& 122B133.
'arver& '. *.& > *cheier& -. D. H2000I. +ers(ectives on +ersonality H4th ed.I eedham #eights&
1?3
-!: *imon > *ch%ster
'hristie& 0.& > Ceis& D. L. H1=?0I. *t%dies in -achiavellianism. e) .ork: !cademic +ress.
'ohen& +. !.& > *he(osh& P. +. H1=??I. !%dience and level o" esteem as determinants o" risk
taking. +ersonality and *ocial +sychology 1%lletin& 3& 11=B122.
'rocker& P.& > *ch)artN& I. H1=A7I. +re3%dice and ingro%( "avoritism in a minimal intergro%(
sit%ation: $""ects o" sel"-esteem. +ersonality and *ocial +sychology 1%lletin& 11& 3?=B
3A;.
Dabbs& P. -.& Pr.& $vans& -. *.& #o((er& '. #.& > +%rvis& P. !. H1=A0I. *el"-monitors in
conversation: 4hat do they monitorL Po%rnal o" +ersonality and *ocial +sychology& 3=&
2?AB2A4.
Daly& P. !. H2002I. +ersonality and inter(ersonal comm%nication. In -. L. <na(( > P. !. Daly
H$ds.I& #andbook o" inter(ersonal comm%nication H3rd ed.& ((. 133B1A0I. 6ho%sand
,aks& '!: *age.
Davies& -. D. H1==4I. +ersonality and social characteristics. In !. +.#are&#.#. 1l%mberg& -. D.
Davies& > -. @. <ent H$ds.I& *mall gro%( research: ! handbook H((. 41B?AI. or)ood&
P: !ble2.
$llis& 0. P.& !damson& 0. *.& DesNca& C.& > 'a)sey& 6. D. H1=AAI. *el"-monitoring and leadershi(
emergence. *mall Cro%( 1ehavior& 1=& 312B324.
$llis& 0. P.& > 'ronsha)& *. D. H1==2I. *el"-monitoring and leadershi( emergence: ! test o"
moderator e""ects. *mall Cro%( 0esearch& 23& 113B131.
$llis& !. and -. 1eechley. R$motional Distr%bance in 'hildren )ith +ec%liar Civen ames.R
1?4
Po%rnal o" Cenetic +sychology A7 H1=74I: 33?-33=.
Deldman& #arold. R6he +roblem o" +ersonal ames as a Mniversal $lement in '%lt%re.R
!merican Imago 1; H1=7=I: 23?-270.
Dlynn& D. P.& 0eagans& 0. $.& !manat%llah& $. 6.& > !mes& D. 0. H200;I.#el(ing one5s )ay to the
to(: *el" monitors achieve stat%s by hel(ing others and kno)ing )ho hel(s )hom.
Po%rnal o" +ersonality and *ocial +sychology& =1& 1123B113?.
DrantN& '. -.& > *eb%rn& -. H2003I. !re arg%mentative (eo(le better or )orse at seeing both
sidesL Po%rnal o" *ocial and +ersonal 0elationshi(s& 20& 7;7B7?3.
Drey& L. 0. H1==?I. Individ%als in gro%(s. In L. 0. Drey > P. <. 1arge H$ds.I& -anaging gro%( li"e:
'omm%nicating in decision-making gro%(s H((. 72B?=I. 1oston: #o%ghton -i""lin.
D%nder& D. '. H2001I. 6he +ersonality +%NNle H2nd ed.I. e) .ork: 4. 4. orton.
Car)ood& *. Cary. RDirst-name *tereoty(es as a Dactor in *el"-conce(t and *chool !chievement.
Po%rnal o" $d%cational +sychology ;A H1=?;I: 4A2-4A?.
#artman& !. !rth%r& 0obert '. icolay& and Pesse #%rley. RMni/%e +ersonal ames as a *ocial
!d3%stment Dactor.R Po%rnal o" *ocial +sychology ?7 H1=;AI: 10?-110.
#o%ston& 6. P. and D. '. *%mner. R-eas%rement o" e%rotic 6endency in 4omen )ith
Mncommon Civen ames.R Po%rnal o" Ceneral +sychology 3= H1=4AI: 2A=-2=2.
#IC#$0 *$LDK 1ach& $d)ard& #eal 6hysel": !n $2(lanation o" the 0eal 'a%se and '%re o"
Disease& 1=31&6he '. 4. Daniel 'om(any Limited& 1 'h%rch +ath& *a""ron 4alden& $sse2&
$ngland& 7; (ages.
-c'rae& 0. 0.& 'osta& +. 6. H2003I. +ersonality in ad%lthood& a "ive-"actor theory (ers(ective H2nd
1?7
ed.I. e) .ork: C%il"ord +ress
-%r(hy& 4illiam D. R! ote on the *igni"icance o" ames.R +sychoanalytical Q%arterly 2;
H1=7?I: =1-10;.
*avage& 1. -. and D. L. 4ells. Rote on *ing%larity in Civen ames.R Po%rnal o" *ocial +sychology
2? H1=4AI: 2?1-2?2.
*mith& $lsdon '. 6reas%ry o" ame Lore. e) .ork: #ar(er and 0o)& 1=;?.
*tr%m("er& D. P. 4. R6he 0elationshi( 1et)een !ttit%des 6o)ard ,neGs ame and *el"-esteem.R
+sychological 0e(orts 43 H1=?AI: ;==-?02.
*tr%nk& ,rlo& Pr. R!ttit%des 6o)ard ,neGs ame and ,neGs *el".R Po%rnal o" Individ%al +sychology
14 H1=7AI: ;4-;?.
6he D%ndamentals o" *mall Cro%( 'omm%nication by *cott !. -yers H!%thorI& 'arolyn -.
!nderson H!%thorI *o%rce: -astering #%man 0elations 3rd $dition& ! Daliko)ski& 2002
Cla%ser& -. P. H1=A4I. *el"-esteem and comm%nication tendencies: !n analysis o" "o%r sel"-
esteemJverbal dominance (ersonality ty(es. +sychological 0ecord& 34& 117B131.
#acker& *. L.& > CaitN& '. -. H1=?0I. Interaction and (er"ormance correlates o" -achiavellianism.
*ociological Q%arterly& 11& =4B102.
#aslett& 1. 1.& > 0%eb%sh& P. H1===I. 4hat di""erences do individ%al di""erences in gro%(s makeL
6he e""ects o" individ%als& c%lt%re& and gro%( com(osition. In L. 0. Drey H$d.I& D. *.
Co%ran& > -. *.
+oole H!ssoc. $ds.I& 6he handbook o" gro%( comm%nication theory > research H((. 117B13AI.
6ho%sand ,aks& '!: *age.
1?;
#a)kins& <.& > *te)art& 0. !. H1==1I. $""ects o" comm%nication a((rehension on (erce(tions o"
leadershi( and intra gro%( attraction in small task-oriented gro%(s. *o%thern
'omm%nication Po%rnal& 7?& 1B10.
#olladay& *. P.& > 'oombs& 4. 6. H1==3I. 'omm%nicating visions: !n e2(loration o" the role o"
delivery in the creation o" leader charisma. -anagement 'omm%nication Q%arterly& ;&
407B42?.
#olladay& *. P.& > 'oombs&4. 6. H1==4I. *(eaking o" visions and visions being s(oken: !n
e2(loration o" the e""ects o" content and delivery on (erce(tions o" leader charisma.
-anagement 'omm%nication Q%arterly& A& 1;7B1A=.
In"ante& D. !. H1=A?I. !ggressiveness. In P. '.-c'roskey > P. !. Daly H$ds.I& +ersonality and
inter(ersonal comm%nication H((. 17?B1=2I. e)b%ry +ark& '!: *age.
In"ante& D. !. H1=AAI. !rg%ing constr%ctively. +ros(ect #eights& IL:4aveland +ress.
In"ante& D. !.& > Corden& 4. I. H1=A7I. *%(eriors5 arg%mentativeness and verbal aggressiveness
as (redictors o" s%bordinates5 satis"action. #%man 'omm%nication 0esearch& 12& 11?B
127.
In"ante& D. !.& > Corden&4. I. H1=A=I. !rg%mentativeness and a""irming comm%nicator style as
(redictors o" satis"actionJdissatis"action )ith s%bordinates. 'omm%nication Q%arterly&
3?& A1B=0.
In"ante& D. !.& > Corden& 4. I. H1==1I. #o) em(loyees see the boss: 6est o" an arg%mentative
and a""irming model o" s%(ervisors5 comm%nicative behavior. 4estern Po%rnal o"
*(eech 'omm%nication& 77& 2=4B304.
1??
In"ante& D. !.& > 0ancer& !. *. H1=A2I. ! conce(t%aliNation and meas%re o" arg%mentativeness.
Po%rnal o" +ersonality !ssessment& 4;& ?2BA0.
In"ante& D. !.& > 0ancer& !. *. H1==;I. !rg%mentativeness and verbal aggressiveness: ! revie) o"
recent theory and research. In 1. 0. 1%rleson H$d.I& 'omm%nication yearbook H@ol. 1=&
((. 31=B371I.6ho%sand ,aks& '!: *age.
In"ante&D. !.& 0ancer&!. *.& > 4omack&D. D. H2003I. 1%ilding comm%nication theory H4th ed.I.
+ros(ect #eights& IL:4aveland +ress.
In"ante& D. !.& 0iddle& 1. L.& #orvath& '. 4.& > 6%mlin& *. !. H1==2I. @erbal aggressiveness:
-essages and reasons. 'omm%nication Q%arterly& 40& 11;B12;.
In"ante& D. !.& > 4igley& '. P.& III. H1=A;I. @erbal aggressiveness: !n inter(ersonal model and
meas%re. 'omm%nication -onogra(hs& 73& ;1B;=.
<ent& 0. L.& > -oss& *. $. H1==0I. *el"-monitoring as a (redictor o" leader emergence.
+sychological 0e(orts& ;;& A?7BAA1.
<eyton& P.& > Drey& L. 0. H2002I. 6he state o" traits: +redis(ositions and gro%( comm%nication. In
L. 0. Drey H$d.I& e) directions in gro%( comm%nication H((. ==B120I. 6ho%sand ,aks&
'!: *age.
<inney& 6. !. H1==4I. !n ind%ctively derived ty(ology o" verbal aggression and its association to
distress. #%man 'omm%nication 0esearch& 21& 1A3B222.
<)al& 6.& > Dleshler& #. H1=?7I. 6he in"l%ence o" sel"-esteem on emergent leadershi( (atterns.
*(eech 6eacher& 22& 100B10;.
Limon& -. *.& > LaDrance& 1. #. H2007I. 'omm%nication traits and leader emergence: $2amining
1?A
the im(act o" arg%mentativeness& comm%nication a((rehension& and verbal
aggressiveness in )ork gro%(s. *o%thern 'omm%nication Po%rnal& ?0& 123B133.
-artin& -. -.& !nderson& '. -.& 1%rant& +. !.& > 4eber& <. H1==?I. @erbal aggression in sibling
relationshi(s. 'omm%nication Q%arterly& 47& 304B31?.
-artin& -. -.& !nderson& '. -.& > #orvath& '. 4. H1==;I. Deelings abo%t verbal aggression:
P%sti"ications "or sending and h%rt "rom receiving verbally aggressive messages.
'omm%nication 0esearch 0e(orts& 13& 1=B2;.
-c'roskey& P. '. H1=??I. ,ral comm%nication a((rehension: ! s%mmary o" recent theory and
research. #%man 'omm%nication 0esearch& 4& ?AB=;.
-c'roskey& P. '. H1=A4I. 6he comm%nication a((rehension (ers(ective. In P. !. Daly > P. '.
-c'roskey H$ds.I& !voiding comm%nication: *hyness& reticence& and comm%nication
a((rehension H((. 13B3AI. 1everly #ills& '!: *age.
-c'roskey& P. '.& > 1eatty& -. P. H1==AI. 'omm%nication a((rehension. In P. '.-c'roskey& P. !.
Daly&
-. -. -artin& > -. P. 1eatty H$ds.I& 'omm%nication and (ersonality: 6rait (ers(ectives H((.
217B232I. 'resskill& P: #am(ton +ress.
-c'roskey& P. '.& Daly& P. !.& > *orensen& C. H1=?;I. +ersonality correlates o" comm%nication
a((rehension: ! research note. #%man 'omm%nication 0esearch& 2& 3?;B3A0.
-c'roskey& P. '.& > 0ichmond& @. +. H1==2I. 'omm%nication a((rehension and small gro%(
comm%nication. In 0. *. 'athcart > L. !. *amovar H$ds.I& *mall gro%( comm%nication: !
reader H;th ed.& ((. 3;1B3?4I. D%b%/%e& I!:4illiam '. 1ro)n.
1?=
-%drack& +. $.& > -ason& $. *. H1==7I. $2tending the -achiavellianism constr%ct: ! brie"
meas%re and some %ne2(lored relationshi(s. Po%rnal o" *ocial 1ehavior and +ersonality&
10& 1A?B200.
-yers& *. !.& > Pohnson& !. D. H2003I. @erbal aggression and liking in inter(ersonal relationshi(s.
'omm%nication 0esearch 0e(orts& 20& =0B=;.
-yers& *. !.& > <no2& 0. L. H2000I. +erceived instr%ctor arg%mentativeness and verbal
aggressiveness and st%dent o%tcomes. 'omm%nication 0esearch 0e(orts& 1?& 2==B30=.
-yers& *. !.& -artin& -. -.& > -ottet& 6. +. H2000I. 6he relationshi( bet)een st%dent
comm%nication motives and (erceived instr%ctor comm%nicator style. 'omm%nication
0esearch 0e(orts& 1?& 1;1B1?0.
orton& 0. 4. H1=?AI. Do%ndations o" a comm%nicator style constr%ct. #%man 'omm%nication
0esearch& 4& ==B112.
orton& 0 4. H1=A3I. 'omm%nicator style: 6heory& a((lications& and meas%res. 1everly #ills& '!:
*age.
orton& 0.4. H1=A;I. 'omm%nicator style in teaching: Civing good "orm to content. In P. -.
'ivikly H$d.I& e) directions "or teaching and learning& no. 2;: 'omm%nicating in college
classrooms H((. 33B40I. *an Drancisco: Possey-1ass.
%ssba%m& P. D. H1==2I. 'omm%nicator style and teacher in"l%ence. In @. +. 0ichmond > P. '.
-c'roskey H$ds.I& +o)er in the classroom: 'omm%nication& control& and concern H((. 147B17AI.
#illsdale& P: $rlba%m.
1A0
A. A''endi8
. Teac#ing :et#ods-9ote for Trainers
Teaching method, teaching approach, and teaching style are terms o"ten %sed
interchangeably to denote the (roced%re teachers em(loy to hel( st%dents learn. 6eaching
method re"ers to a (roced%re chosen to meet certain conditions and o%tcomes. -ethods
sho%ld not be con"%sed )ith teaching techni/%es or aids. 6eaching techni/%e re"ers to details
o" (roced%res %sed to enhance e2ec%tion o" chosen methods. 6eaching aids increase the de(th&
s(eed& and (ermanence o" learning. *(eci"ic e2am(les o" teaching methods& techni/%es& and
aids have been incl%ded here to "acilitate the trainer.

-ore than one teaching method may be %tiliNed )ithin a single lesson. 6he trainer is
e2(ected to decide the a((ro(riateness o" the method. !s sho)n belo)& there are a n%mber o"
"actors that m%st be considered be"ore a method is selected:
Z learning goals Hteacher andJor st%dent determinedI
Z st%dents5 best learning style
Z st%dents5 readiness
Z tasks
Z teachers5 ability and kno)ledge
Z st%dents5 and teachers5 (ersonalities
1asically& there are t)o general teaching method categories& teacher-centered and
1A1
st%dent-centered, )ith varying degrees in bet)een. 6he diagram that "ollo)s sho)s the
contin%%m o" teaching methods bet)een the e2tremes o" teacher centered and st%dent
centered. ,ne a((roach is not more desirable than the other& since a((ro(riateness o" method
de(ends %(on many variables. 6eachers teaching motor skills& and organiNing large n%mbers o"
st%dents and (resenting in"ormation that are not cognitive in nat%re may rely heavily on the
teacher-centered a((roach by %sing the command method. 6his is not to s%ggest that the
command method sho%ld never be %sed. It may be a((ro(riate i" yo% m%st lect%re& ask s(eci"ic
/%estions to s(eci"ic individ%als& or "ollo) a lect%re )ith small gro%( disc%ssion. *ometimes
lect%ring is the most e""icient means o" transmitting in"ormation beca%se o" the amo%nt o"
in"ormation to be covered in a short (eriod o" time and the n%mber o" st%dents involved.
#o)ever& it is not necessarily the most e""ective. Civen belo) is a contin%%m to hel( trainers
decided the best method or a combination o" it:

6eacher 'entered *t%dent 'entered
'ommand 6ask +roblem *olving C%ided $2(loration Dree $2(loration
2. Teac#ing Tec#niIues
6eaching techni/%e re"ers to (roced%res %sed to enhance the chosen teaching method.
6here are many combinations o" methods and techni/%es that may be created "or each
teaching sit%ation.
6)o teachers in similar sit%ations do not have to essentially %se the same instr%ctional
1A2
techni/%es to (rod%ce the same res%lts. 6he "ollo)ing is a list o" di""erent teaching techni/%es.
ot all techni/%es )o%ld be a((licable so the -od%le leaders and 6rainers may decide
themselves as to )hich ones to em(loy d%ring the delivery o" this mod%le. 6he ones
recommended )o%ld be (resented by a tick marked bo2 as sho)n belo):
'ase st%dies
+anel disc%ssions
'lass disc%ssions
+ersonal contracts
Debates
0ole (laying
*(ecial re(orts
*ym(osi%m
Intervie)s
,bservations
1A3
". Teac#ing Aids
6here are many di""erent kinds o" teaching aids. 4hen %sed (ro(erly& s%ch aids can
increase the de(th& (ermanence& and s(eed o" learning. 6he "ollo)ing is a list o" some o"
the best ones:
1. 1%lletin boards
2. +hotogra(hs
3. 'halkboards +osters
4. 'ollections *lides
7. $2hibits 6elevision
;. Dilms
?. 6e2tbooks
A. Po%rnals
=. 4riting (ads
10. -agaNines 4orkbooks
11. -odels
12. 4orld 4ide 4eb
13. e)s(a(ers
14. @ideota(es
17. ,verhead (ro3ector
It is said that teaching is both an art and a science. 4itho%t good comm%nication& it is neither.
6rainers and mod%le leaders are e2(ected to %se a variety o" teaching methods& techni/%es&
and aid to ca(t%re (artici(ants5 attention. ! list o" s%ggested teaching methods has been
1A4
incl%ded at the end o" every session to g%ide the trainer select the most a((ro(riate ones.

1A7

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