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If you have trouble turning a conversation sexual, and taking it to the next
level with the girls youre talking to
If you come across as too nice safe or friendly and arent getting a sexual
response out of the girls youre interacting with
If you dont know to flirt in a way that keeps a girl interested and instead find
that girls continually slip away before you can close the deal
The reason theyre doing this is because without them even knowing it, your new
way of communicating will be stirring up sexual feelings in them. What youre
going to discover is that when women start having these feelings, its like a switch
goes off and she cant help herself.
Ok. So can we all agree right now that its better to go sexual right from the
beginning? Now that you know this, when are you going to start doing it?
Now if youre thinking that its not your personality, its outside of your comfort zone,
feels unnatural to you, dont worry. The 3 step system Im going to be going over
makes it super simple.
Candice. So they leave. And now, its me and Candice, completely alone in my
apartment, and were talking and laughing, and remembering funny stories that
happened throughout the night.
And the entire time in my mind Im thinking how can I just change the subject or
get her to stop talking long enough to kiss her. I was sitting on the couch just
wanting to touch her, letting my hand rub up against hers, but all the while, I just
couldnt steer the conversation away from talking about our co-workers and getting
it focused on the two of us.
And soon 2am turned into 3am turned into 4am. Until finally she said she Well, I
should be leaving.
Well, the next time I hung out with Candice it was more of the same thing, talking,
laughing, and really strong rapport. Yet, every time we hung out it ended with me
talking myself into believing next time I would make my move.
Things went on like for close for a few months until I couldnt take it any longer and
sent her a text message saying I think Im attracted to you.
The next day I got the Lets just be friends speech.
And the reason I tell you this story is because, at that point in my life I had a couple
of girlfriends, and I was good enough at flirting that people assumed I was good
with women, but I held this deep dark secret; I COULD NOT CLOSE THE DEAL.
A few years later after figuring all of this out, a bunch of my friends went on a ski
trip together and Candice came.I used the 3 step system Im going to be going
over, and we spent the whole weekend hooking up. But by then it was just too late
for anything to really come of it.
But it just sort of reinforced how all those years back,she didnt put me in the friend
zone. I put myself in the friend zone by the way I acted.
I want you to think back about a girl where you wound up in the friend zone; did
she really put you there? Or did you put yourself there by the way you acted?
Dont beat yourself about it; you didnt know any better back then.
And what Im about to teach you will prevent this from happening to you again.
to your bedroom so that you dont make the same mistake I made.
This is also going to help you avoid awkward silences and running out of things to
say, as its going to give you a clear blueprint for moving forward to make sure that
youre able to close the deal and set up to dates. And make sure that the girls
show up, and that the date ends with you hooking up with her, and not with a hug
or a handshake.
And the reason youre going to notice all these girls sort of changing their opinion
on you is because of the first thing Im about to teach you right now.
This is the idea of creating a Sexualized Persona.
The major idea you want to really keep in your mind is that women want to have
sex, but they dont want the responsibility for making it happen.
So women seek out guys they believe can make it happen. I repeat: Women seek
out guys they believe can make it happen.
This is why the same guys continue to get laid over and over and again. This is
why that guy you cant figure out he gets chicks continues to have sex week after
week, and will probably continue stealing all the girls you want, unless you figure
this out.
Women need to believe that youre capable of closing the deal, and not letting
things get awkward along the way. This means not putting any of the
responsibilityon her. It means showing her that youre comfortable with sex, and
youre not all of the sudden going to get weird about it.
Women pick up on all these things within a few minutes of talking to you.
So you want to ask yourself is right now; am I that guy?
Or are their changes I need to make?
The good news is that these changes arent nearly as hard as you think.
Downshifting to Sex
I call this system Downshifting to Sex because what I noticed is that you there are
actually different gears you can be in with a woman.
And its very similar to being in different gears when driving a car.
If youve ever driven stick shift you know that you cant jump from 1st to the 4th
gear without going through 2nd and 3rd; youll stall out, because you never created
If youre losing girls chances are its because she doesnt feel a sexual connection
to you, she doesnt feel sexual around you, and shes looking for a guy who brings
this side out of her, who gets her aroused and makes her horny.
The Rated R Switch.
This is how you let her know its okay to let a little of her wild side out. Unleashing
this wild side is the first step to closing the deal, and getting her back to your
bedroom.
You need to take the conversation to a Rated R territory.
You need to be having the sort of conversation that a parent wouldnt feel
comfortable if their child was listening. There is just something more edgy, real, and
exciting about Rated
Yet, most of us turn into the poster boy for rated PG once we get around a woman.
Its like were afraid of saying anything that might remotely offend her, or worse, let
Now what I like to dois then quickly throw a little fishing line to test the water, and
say something like, Now that I think about it you kind of give off that swanky
swinger vibe too. And then Ill laugh and quickly change the subject and see if she
attempts to bring it back up. If she does, maybe Ill begin to tease her a bit about
being a swinger, or get into how its always the seemingly innocent ones that wind
up being the kinkiest. And imply that I think she has a kinky side.
If she doesnt bite Ill wait a few minutes, and then downshift again using one of my
other techniques.
Every girl Ive ever dated, even the shy innocent ones, when you let them open up
a little bit, guess what they love talking about; locker room talk.
Not only do girls love talking about it, but when you take the conversation to rated
R, you immediately distinguish and differentiate yourself from the hundreds of other
guys who spend the entire time talking to her in safe mode. And she finds it
refreshing to talk to you, and will want to keep talking to you.
You show her that youre comfortable with sex, which helps her view you as the
kind of guy who can make it happen without things getting weird or awkward.
And most importantly; you set up an atmosphere where a seduction can take
place, where she starts thinking about sex, and you can get the kiss and get her
back to your place.
So how else do you turn the conversation to Rated R? Rated R is about the subject
matter and the way you flirt with them. And it can be something as simple as
changing your vocabulary and the words you use.
Shes not being bad; shes being naughty
Youre not gonna hit her; youre gonna spank her
If shes teasing you, dont make me take the belt off.
Its not a basement its a dungeon.
Even certain words, and the way you describe things can flip the Rated R switch.
This is particularly effective when teasing her or making observations about her.
She has Lusty eyes.
She looks Hot and bothered.
Here are some other words with sexual undertones:
Urges
Thongs
G strings
Stilettos
Panties
Fetish
Vibrator (not Dildo, thats x-rated)
Swingers
Gag reflex
KY
Wet
Sloppy seconds
Cougar
Whips and chains
Kinky
Spooning
Cyber sex
These are all rated R words. Its these sorts of words with sexual connotations you
want to use in this stage. Youre not using any of the X rated words. Those are for
later.
And the fun thing to do is since most of these words are double Rated R, is about
the subject matter and the way you flirt with them
Its these sorts of words with sexual connotations you want to use in this stage
Youre not using any of the X rated words
This is the sort of conversation you want to establish in first gear. Now this doesnt
mean you dwell on these things the entire time like a horny 13 year old. You just
establish that these are the rules of the conversation, and that its ok to go there, so
that later when you begin to escalate the flirtation it wont come as surprise.
Once you have taken the conversation to Rated R you must move on to the next
step.
displayed obvious nice guy tendencies like complimenting women and telegraphing
interest. But since I was in a bit of a dry spell recently with women, instead of critiquing
his nice guy behavior, I decided to really pay attention and try to see if I could figure
out why it was working for him.
As it turned out, while one minute I was watching Steve shamefully admit to a woman
that she was turning him on, the next minute Steve was flirting with one of her friends
and all but ignoring her. This seemed to have the womans attention glued on Steve.
As I continued to watch Steve I noticed how he would verbally express strong desire
towards the woman, but at the same time gave off an impression that if she walked
away his night would not be the slightest bit ruined. In fact, hed probably have
another girl within minutes.
At one point, Steve actually began telling the girl what he was going to do to her later
in the bedroom. Yet, a few seconds after saying this to her he turned to me and
asked me if I wanted to play a game of billiards with him. As we shot pool, the woman
basically sat in the corner and stared at him the entire time. As I started to put the
pieces of the puzzle together I realized that its NOT about completely hiding your
desire and pretending to be indifferent to her. Its about expressing your desire for
her, but really being indifferent towards the outcome.
What I mean by this is that the woman Steve was flirting with that night in the bar
knew that he found her sexually attractive, but she also got the impression that Steve
was so used to be getting with women he found sexually attractive, that if she
disappeared he would hardly notice she was gone. In the past I had always been so
focused on expressing disinterest that I completely failed to get her interested in me
in the first place. There could be no chase if the woman isnt chasing you. You are
not a challenge if the woman isnt intent on getting you.
In fact, it is your initial interest that makes a woman notice you. But its how YOU
RESPOND when she reciprocates that interest that either ignites the chase or makes
her think: I guess I was wrong about him and he is hungry for my approval.
said it. In fact, if her friends are around begin chatting and flirting a bit with them.
Dont ignore her completely, but just enough to ignite the chase. What youre going
to find is that by putting that statement of desire out there, it greatly increases the
amount of natural tension between you. And tension is known to amplify attraction.
And thats why expressing your sexual aim is so important.
Youre letting her know that you intend to make it happen, and that youre not going
to be satisfied with a hug or a handshake, and youre certainly not looking to be
just be friends.And youre preparing her that youre going to make your move so
that it doesnt come as a shock later on. One of the added benefits is that when
women see you as the kind of guy who can
make it happen, they begin to do things
that make it easier for you. Its like once
its out in the open, then she doesnt have
to play Miss Prude later, and you dont
have that trouble getting the kiss and
closing the deal.
Now it is important that you express your
sexual aim after youve created some
attraction. And youve got to make sure
you do it before you build too much
rapport, or get stuck in a conversation
that doesnt allow it.
If you walk up to a woman and start the
conversation by telling her that she has
an amazing ass; you probably wont get
very far because you havent created any
attraction yet.
She is going to make it impossible for you not to close the deal, and get her back to
your bedroom.
She will beg you to bang her.
Lets go back to the idea of changing gears.
Earlier I talked about how if you try to change gears too quickly you will stall out.
Well, if youve driven a stick shift car, you know there is an even more dangerous
problem; staying in the same gear too long.
Just like you can ruin a cars transmission if you continue driving in first gear the
whole time, if the attraction revs up too high in one gear and you dont shift you can
blow it up.
This is why you probably noticed at time a girl seemed really into you, and then her
interest quickly faded. Maybe it was a girl at a bar who you were really vibing with,
butthen she just sort of went back to her friends and forgot about you. Or worse,
maybe it was a girl you went on a date with, thought things were going well, and
then she starts becoming unavailable to hang out, until finally she just stops
answering your calls at all.
You need to be continually taking the interaction to the next level, never letting
it plateau.
And how do you do this?
Sexualized Flirting
With a new way of communicating with women I call Sexualized Flirting.
And the word seuxalized is very important. Because what I learned over the
years is that without adding a strong dose of sexuality to your flirting- you can
actually get caught in the trap of becoming that flirty guy that girls dont take
seriously. It will be like they laugh, but in the back of their mind youre still just a
safe, nice guy they could never imagine sleeping with.
So there are some big differences with sexualized flirting.
And with this specific type of flirting you begin to:
Introduce sexual themes into the conversation
You use stories as a way to innocently transition to talking about sex, and
getting her thinking about sex
You use playful games to get her opening up her desires and her fantasies,
and you get her feeling comfortable experiencing these emotions around
you
You tease her in a specific sort of way that has sexual undercurrents, and
even though she knows youre only teasing her, there is an element of
danger and excitement to the conversation that unconsciously begins to turn
her on.
You are very aware of sexual tension, and you are able to control it and
manipulate it, leading to quicker intimacy
Even if youre goal isnt to try to sleep with a woman the first night, this type of
flirting ensures that you get the kiss, and that you position yourself in her mind as a
guy she is going to sleep with, and not a guy that she wants to be friends with.
Here is an example of a conversation shifting gears:
(The both of you have been lightly flirting and everything is being said playfully)
You: I cant believe you like Lady Gaga. Shes so weird.
Her: Shut up. Youre probably a closet Lady Gaga fan. I can imagine you
sitting home alone,with your Ipod, listening to Lady Gaga singing out
loud. hahaha
You: You better watch out or youre going to get spanked little girl.
Her: Oh, did I embarrass youhaha?
You: We are totally having a pillow fight later And Im not gonna go light
on you just because youre a girl.
Her: Ill totally beat you in a pillow fight.
You: Im like the world champion of pillow fighting. I have to warn you Im
also known to be merciless at tickle wars. So if you start to get naughty
youll feel my wrath.
Ok. Did you notice how I shifted gears into a more sexual
frame? The conversation started with Lady Gaga, but by the end of it we were
talking about rolling around her bed tickling each other and acting
naughty. (Something friends dont do)
So that would be like shifting from second to third gear.
Now let me give you an example of how you can shift from third gear into fourth
gear. Remember, you need to keep shifting gears, because if the attraction revs
up too high in one gear and you dont shift gears you can blow it up.
Her: Dont even think about it. I hate being tickled.
You: (holding out your pinky) I pinky swear that unless youre acting really
really naughty, I promise not to tickle you
(As soon as you let go off her pinky tickle her)
Her: (smiling and laughing) I hate you. That was so mean.
You: You know what? I didnt notice it before but youve got a really sexy
smile.
Ok, did you see how you once again shifted gears? You went from joking around
about tickling to actually getting a little physical and first getting her hand in yours
for a pinky swear and then tickling her.
But more importantly, at the end you said Youve got a really sexy smile.
What is so important about that last line is that it leaves no room for
misinterpretations. It just totally lets her know that the two of you have just been
first night out with Candice I didnt get the kiss, and it took me almost four years
later to finally shake the friend vibe and get it.
The first step to getting that kiss is taking the conversation to rated R level. If you
paid attention than I think you see how by using the right words, topics, stories, it is
actually pretty easy to take the conversation sexual.
And if youre not already using this stuff, youre missing out big time, and probably
losing girls interest to guys who are.
You should also be convinced that you need to be constantly shifting gears with
women and using sexualized flirting to keep the sexual tension alive. Like I said
earlier if there ever was a girl you went on a date with, thought things were going
well, and then she starts becoming unavailable to hang out and she stops
answering your calls you didnt do a good job of keeping the sexual tension alive.
Because the fact is, once you get a woman thinking about having sex with you, and
get her imaging it.and letting that tension linger, Its gonna happen.
Valerie spread herself out on a pool table, with her parents sleeping in the other
room like 20 feet away. My friend Jake, who I learned a lot of this from, hes got an
IPhone full of pictures of naked girls. These are just ordinary girls that he meets
out, or works with, but he does such a good job of setting himself up as a sexual
guy that these girls are sending him naked pictures of themselves and telling him
how they cant wait to see him. And luckily I spent enough time watching him that I
was able to drill down on what he was doing
1. Slow Down:
Once you sense that you have a good vibe you need to slow everything down. Speak
slower, make slower movements, just take a breath and slow the back and forth
banter down a bit.
2. Allow Tension to Build:
What youre doing is you are allowing some sexual tension to build up. Whenever
a man and woman are close by each other and silence occurs- some tension
develops. Most of us, are always trying to diffuse that tension with more jokes,
more flirting, or more stories. You need to learn to enjoy the tension and use it to
your benefit.
3. Lingering Hi Five:
One way I personally do this is after a woman says something that I like; I put my
hand up to give her a high five. When she slaps my hand high five, I sort of grip
her hand a bit, and let our hands linger together. This will amplify the sexual
tension.
4. Create Physical Connection:
Next you need to create some sort of physical connection. Once again, the best
way to do this is through your hands. Take her by the hand and lead her
somewhere.
5. Get closer to her.
Allow the sexual tension to build up by getting closer to her, whether its by sitting
closer to her, standing closer to her, or
leaning in closer as you talk.
6. Be neutral through all of this.
Drop the jokes, the flirting, and sort of
become a little more vague. Look her in
the eyes. Exude your sexual power. Let
her know that you know full well that
youre the more dominant sexual
creature.
7. Kiss her.
8. Progress towards sex.
NEVER make up her mind for
her. NEVER assume she
doesnt want sex or further
intimacy. Always respect her if
she tells you no. But always
keep trying until you get the
no.
Ok, here is the thing. You
are responsible for creating
that sexual desire in her. AND
YES, it can be created.
Everything I just suggested up there- triggers sexual attraction. This is why, maybe
at some point youve become sexually attracted to a girl you didnt really like or find
physically attractive. Its because the two of you moved unknowingly into
seduction mode.
Remember, attraction isnt a choice. If you do what I suggested above (assuming
that you are doing a good job of being flirtatious then the woman wont be able to
help but feel sexually attracted to you.Moving Forward
What youre going to find a few months after learning this is that youre going to
feel really relaxed talking to women and any anxiety you used to feel to approach
them is going to be gone, because the anxiety really comes from fear of not
knowing what to do or how to keep her from getting bored. That wont be a
problem anymore, so youre going to be naturally opening more women and feel in
total control, in fact, youll probably be the one turning girls down. You will also
notice that some girls who used to blow you off or flake on you suddenly begin
making themselves available, messaging you on Facebook, or even sending you
random texts.
***
Additional Resources
1. Magnetic Messaging
In this video youll learn how you can use three simple text messages to turn a
woman on and get her out on a date.
The video teaches something called The Key Lock Sequence
Watch the video here: http://www.magneticmessaging.com
2. Teasing and Banter Cheat Sheet:
Over at my Facebook Page Im giving away a free Teasing and Banter Cheat
Sheet. This cheat sheet will give you exact lines you can use to begin flirting with a
girl, and get her working to win you over.
Just hit like here to get your free copy:
http://www.facebook.com/TSBMagazine?sk=app_4949752878