What has a face and two hands but no arms or legs?

A clock
What five-letter word becomes shorter when you add two letters to it?
Short
What word begins and ends with an e but only has one letter?
Envelope
What has a neck but no head? A bottle
What type of cheese is made backwards? Edam
What gets wetter as it dries? A towel
Why did the boy bury his flashlight? ecause the batteries died!
Which letter of the alphabet has the most water? "he #
What starts with a $% ends with an E and has thousands of letters?
"he $ost &ffice'
What has to be broken before you can use it? An egg
Why cant a man living in (ew )ork be buried in #hicago? ecause
hes still living'
What begins with "% ends with " and has " in it? A teapot
*ow many letters are there in the English alphabet? "here are +,- . in
the% / in English and , in alphabet!
Which month has 0, days? All of them of course'
What two things can you never eat for breakfast? 1unch and dinner'
$ronounced as one letter but written with three% only two different
letters are used to make me! 23m double% 23m single 23m black% blue% and
gray! 23m read from both ends and the same either way E)E
What word becomes that reads the same when viewed upside down
and backwards? SW24S
What word% when written in capital letters% is the same forwards%
backwards and upside down (&&(
Knock Knock Jokes
Knock, knock.
Whos there?
Canoe.
Canoe who?
Canoe help me with my homework?
Knock, knock
Whos there?
Merry.
Merry who?
Merry Christmas!
Knock, knock.
Whos there?
Anee.
Anee,who?
Anee one you like!
Knock, knock.
Whos there?
Dozen.
Dozen who?
Dozen anyo!y want to let me in?
Knock, knock.
Whos there?
"ee!le.
"ee!le who?
"ee!le little money #or the mo$ies.
Knock, knock.
Whos there?
%arry.
%arry who?
%arry up, its col! out here!
Knock, knock.
Whos there?
A!ore.
A!ore who?
A!ore is etween us. &pen up!
Knock, knock.
Whos there?
Claire.
Claire who?
Claire the way, 'm comin( throu(h!
Knock, knock.
Whos there?
Ar#ur.
Ar#ur who?
Ar#ur (ot!
Knock, knock.
Whos there?
Ay.
Ay who?
Ay irth!ay to you!
Knock, knock.
Whos there?
"ana.
"ana who?
"ana your usiness.
Knock, knock.
Whos there?
)a.
)a who?
Wow. )ou sure are e*cite! to see me!
Knock, knock.
Whos there?
Cows (o
Cows (o who?
Cows !ont (o who, they (o moo!
Knock, knock.
Whos there?
+tch.
+tch who?
,less you!
Knock, knock
Whos there?
,en.
,en who?
,en knockin( -or ./ minutes.
Knock, knock.
Whos there?
' am.
' am who?
)ou mean you !ont know who you are?