VERBAL MESSAGES

(Ch 6,7)

Summarized from Joseph DeVito The
Interpersonal Communication Book. 11th
Relation between Verbal and Non-verbal
Accent
Complement
Contradict
Control
Repeat
Substitute
Messages Principles
Messages are Packaged
Messages are Rule-Governed
Messages vary in Abstraction
Messages vary in Politeness (culture, gender,
personality ) ->netiquette
Messages vary in Inclusion Messages vary in
directness
Messages vary in assertiveness (assertive, non
assertive, aggresive)
Communicate Assertively

Describe the Problem
State How it Affects You
Propose Solutions
Confirm Understanding
Language Symbolizes Reality
Intensional Orientation
Labels First, Actual Second
Extensional Orientation
Actual First, Label Second
Cultural Identifiers
Boy, Girl, Gay, Lesbian, African American, White,
Hispanic, Chicano, Etc.
Allness
Six Blind Men and the Elephant

Language Expresses Both Facts
and Inferences

Facts
Made Only After Observation
Limited to What Has Been Observed
Made Only by Observer
About Past or Present
Approach Certainty
Subject to Verifiable Standards


Facts and Inferences
Inferences
Made At Any Time
Go Beyond What is Observed
Made by Anyone
May Be About Past, Present, or Future
Vary in Probability
Not Subject to Verifiable Standards

Language Expresses Both
Denotation and Connotation
Denotation
Connotation
Snarl Words
Purr Words
Language Can Criticize and Praise
Providing Honest Appraisal
Tell the Truth
Consider How You Phrase Negative Appraisal
Offering Criticism
Focus on Event not Personality
State Criticism Positively
Own Your Thoughts and Feelings
Be Clear
Avoid Ordering Change
Consider the Context

Giving Praise
Use I-Messages
Make Sure Affect Communicates Feelings
Name the Behavior Youre Praising
Take Culture Into Consideration
Language Can Obscure Distinctions
Indiscrimination
Ethnocentrism
Polarization
Static Evaluation
Sexism
Heterosexism
Racism
Ageism


Language Can Confirm/Disconfirm
Confirmation
Disconfirmation
Talking with the Grief Stricken