Conversation with an Older Adult

By Cindy Kluz
Social Services for Older Adults Final
November 18, 2014

Joe Bohr
The interview that I had with an older
adult was with my dad. I learned so
much about him that I never knew.
Even though I have been fortunate to
have interviewed him for other social
work assignments, I was able to find
out even more interesting information
and facts about him. What I am most
thankful for is having several
keepsakes in these assignments to
remember him by when his time
comes to leave this life and move on
to a better one.

Description
Looks: My dad is 72 years old, 6 feet tall and weighs approximately 150 lbs. He has
brown hair and has been fortunate enough to keep a full head of it even into his 70s. (:
He has blue eyes, a slight build and usually a serious look on his face. He can usually
be found in comfortable clothes such as jeans, a tee shirt or polo and tennis shoes.
Presentation of Self: My dad does not have difficulty with speech, but I noticed when I
interviewed him that he now wears a hearing aid. This is the first time Ive seen this, but
I have to admit that I really havent looked for it before. He is alert to person, place, and
time and has good eye contact during a conversation.
Functioning Level: My dad is still very active and plays golf several times each week.
He enjoys riding his bike around the neighborhood and does not need any help with his
ADLs. One aspect he did mention is that he sometimes has difficulty remembering how
to get to places when he drives. Instead of just going on automatic pilot like we all do
when we are going to familiar places, he now finds himself having to ask his wife to help.
Living Environment: This will be talked about in my summary of conversation.

Summary of Conversation
Major Themes:
-- History
-- Family
-- Lifestyle and Living Arrangements
-- Health
Yet much as a family inhabits a house, memories
Inhabit our stores, make them breath, give them life.
Steve Luxenburg, Annies Ghosts:
A Journey Into a Family Secret

Summary of Conversation
History: My dad was born in Pennsylvania and spent his younger years
there. He moved to Michigan when early in his life and spent most of his
life in Michigan. He attended high school at St. Marys Catholic High
School in Mt. Clemens, where he was a star basketball player. He met
my mom in high school, and they wed just 1 year after my mom
graduated. They had 3 children in 4 years. When we were younger, he
moved us out to the country because of what was known as bussing.
This was when they were trying to desegregate the public schools by
bussing some students to Detroit while some Detroit students were
bussed out to the suburbs. He and my mom stayed married until my
mom died in 1986. My dad wed his second wife 2 years later and they
have been together every since. They live in Macomb, Michigan half of
the year and Phoenix, Arizona the other half of the year.

Summary of Conversation
Family: Family is very important to my dad and although we have had
our issues, we are pretty close. We dont get together much, usually just
on holidays and an occasional dinner, but when we do we can talk for
hours. As my dad gets older, he stated that spending time with family is
much more important to him. The fact that he has more free time and is
not working gives him more time to devote time to what is important to
him. Even though he does not see his children much, he makes it a
point to touch base with them via phone calls to stay in touch.

Family Relations: Family ties or bonds which have

Traditionally described connections between people.
Judith Phillips, Key Concepts in Social Gerontology

Summary of Conversation
Lifestyle and Living Arrangements: Since my dad still gets up and around
well, he stays very active. He goes golfing, rides his bike, loves doing
crossword puzzles, watches a lot of television, and gets together with friends for
dinner. He is very social and has made it a point to stay that way throughout his
older years. This is very comforting because social relations are important as
people get older. He also has the best of both worlds when it comes to living
arrangements. By choice, he lives in a house in Michigan from April through
October and then goes to Arizona to spend November through March at his
home there.
Social Relations: A considerable amount of research
have examined the significance of social relations for
quality of life among older adults.
Judith Phillips, Key Concepts in Social
Gerontology

Summary of Conversation
Thoughts on Aging: My dad is not the kind of
person to dwell on the negative. He does not
look at aging as something negative. Although
he makes many old jokes about himself, he is
enjoying his retirement years and doing what he
wants to do, when he wants to do it. He is
fortunate to be in pretty good health and this has
contributed to his positivity on getting older.

Summary of Conversation
Health: This is the one negative area in life that has affected my
dad quite a bit. My dad was diagnosed with lung cancer about 8
years ago. He received treatment and has been in remission
since then. Although there was a time when the doctors thought
he did not have much time to live, my dad never believed that. He
knew, possibly though spirituality, that it was not his time. Even
after hearing of his diagnosis and prognosis, he still lived life like
he always did and didnt change a thing. He still does not have
the best lifestyle habits, but his way of thinking is for as old as he
is, he just wants to enjoy his time here on Earth, even if others
arent happy about the way his lives his life.

My Analysis
His Personality
His Love of Life
His Strengths and Weaknesses

We born dyin'...But you ask a man an

he talk like he gonna live forevah.
Walter Mosley, The Last Days of Ptolemy Grey

My Analysis
His Personality: Its obviously
when you meet my dad that he is a
very care-free, fun-loving guy. He
loves to be around people but is also
okay being alone without being
lonely. He loves to talk and
reminisce about when we were
younger and is always starting
stories with Remember when?
There is never a dull moment when
my dad is around because he very
rarely censors what he has to say. I
guess at his age he doesnt have to
worry about what people think of
him.

My Analysis
His Love of Life: Even when going though chemo after having a
lung removed, my dad always kept his love of life strong. He is
never one to dwell on the past or what he doesnt have. He is
almost always in a good mood and has never lived his life
focusing on what other people thought of him. When having a
conversation with him, he is always totally honest, sometimes
brutally honest. However, he would never purposely hurt anyone
and he has an explanation and justification for everything he
does. He wont apologize for hurting someones feelings if he
feels it is the truth, but he is also very loyal and wants to see the
best in everyone. The older he gets, the more life becomes a
party and he is going to live life only one way, his way.

My Analysis
His Strengths and Weaknesses: My dad is a very strong person
and has been through a lot the death of his wife,
unemployment, and most recently, cancer. He is very optimistic,
very family-oriented, and very social. However, he is also very
opinionated, sometimes self-centered, and can disregard the
feelings of others very easily. Many people feel these are all
weaknesses, but sometimes I think that these traits have all
proven to come in handy in my dads life. When he was telling me
about his bad health habits after just having a near-death
experience with cancer, he will admit that he did not care what
anyone else thought about them. If he was going to die soon, he
was going to die happy. I really cant blame him for that.

Analysis of Me
My Involvement with the Interview
Spending Time with an Older Adult
My Feelings Toward the Interview
What I Learned
How This Class Helped
"Sometimes I wish they'd ask
for my wisdom more often-there
are so many things I could tell them.
Lois Lowry, The Giver

Analysis of Me
My Involvement in the Interview: My involvement in the
interview was mostly listening, not because it is the way the
interview went, but because it was how I chose to have it go. I
know that there is a time that my dad is not going to be around.
Without times like this where I spent an uninterrupted amount of
time with my dad, I would not know near as much as I do about
him. These are the memories that I think will help me accept
when he is not around anymore. Although I hope that time
doesnt come anytime soon, I know I have many great memories
of my dad and assignments like these only add to those
memories.

Analysis of Me
Spending Time with an Older Adult: I have to say that I really enjoy
spending time with older adults, not only my dad but even with people I
just met. When I first started the social work program, there was one
population that I knew that I did not want to work with: older adults.
Four years later, I am working toward my Graduate Certificate in
Gerontology and interning at a hospice agency. I think so much can be
learned from the older population. Lifelong learning is not only
something that the older population experiences, it is also learning that
the older population can pass on to people like me.
Lifelong Learning: A commitment to promoting
education and learning opportunities over the life course.
Judith Phillips, Key Concepts in Social Gerontology

Analysis of Me
How This Class Helped: This class has helped me become
more aware of what it is like to become an older adult and what is
important to older adults. I never really took the time to think
about how aging affects my dad. By learning more about
successful aging and knowing that social relationships play a big
part in that, I have devoted more time to staying in touch with my
dad and not letting too much time go by without talking with him,
even if it is not in person.
Successful Aging: Signifies a time of potential health and
well-being, and is measured by active social engagement.
Judith Phillips, Key Concepts in Social Gerontology

References
Lowry, L. (1993). The giver. Boston: Houghton Mifflin.
Luxenburg, S. (2009). Annie's Ghosts: A Journey Into a Family
Secret. Hyperion.
Mosley, W. (2010). The last days of Ptolemy Grey. New York: Riverhead
Books.

Phillips, J., Ajrouch, K., & Hillcoat-Nalletamby, S. (2013). Key

concepts in social gerontology (2nd ed.). Los Angeles: SAGE.