Michael ANDREW Carpenter

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Personal Change Final Project

Michael A. Carpenter

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Michael ANDREW Carpenter

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Throughout the semester we were given the task of identifying a bad communication
habit we have and then implement the strategies we learned in the course to try and change these
bad habits. The bad communication habit that I have identified is my inability to speak fully and
comfortably in a larger group setting. The truth is I have never felt comfortable with everyones
attention on me. I have felt it is possible to moderate this feeling and bad habit and throughout
the semester using some of the strategies from the course I feel I have been able to branch out a
little bit and become more open. The strategies I used during the semester were not using any
social comparison. This strategy, I feel, makes you focus on only yourself making it relatively
easy to speak to whomever you want. After acknowledging this strategy I feel it has helped me a
lot with communicating with others. Another strategy I chose to use is visualization. This
strategy involves picturing yourself doing and accomplishing your task. Although I feel this
strategy was unsuccessful with my communication habit, I do feel it could be a useful tool for
other goal oriented tasks. The final strategy I chose to use is self fulfilling prophecy. This is more
of a mental way of thinking. It basically means, I think I am, so I am. This is a good tool to use
for everyday everything. To me it is a great confidence builder for all tasks. There were some
challenges in implementing these strategies, most of which involved overcoming my own
barriers and applying the strategies and some of which created conflict between me and another.
I had to keep the strategies constantly in the fore front throughout the semester to think about
implementation when the time came. Mostly it came with just being more outspoken and voicing
my opinion opposed to keeping them in my head. I do feel the results of this project were overall
successful. I have noticed I speak up a little more and try to voice my opinion in a lot more
situations. In the future I will continue to use these strategies, maybe tweaking them a bit,

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possibly picking up and dropping other strategies and using them to solve other conflicting
problems in my life.
The unwanted pattern that I used to have is just avoiding talking or participating in group
conversation. I would tend to be more quiet with little or no input. When youre quiet people
tend to not notice you or think you dont care about the topic at discussion. You could be left out
of group activities or be the one no one wants to be in a group with because they feel you cant.
When in reality its only because you have self confidence issues that you dont know how to
manage. In the beginning of the project I felt like my problem was not being able to speak in
front of a group, towards the end, I realized it was more of a self confidence issue. This bad habit
is not effective in communication. To be able to express your feelings, thoughts and opinions
effectively is a probably one of the most important factors in life. Being able to define yourself
by your words and actions is important in society because it is how people see you.
I chose three strategies to try to change my bad habit. The first strategy I used was not
using any social comparison (CH 2 pg.44). The point of this strategy is to take away the shame
or embarrassment in comparing what you have versus what others have. I feel that this strategy
sounds really good on paper and if you can use it effectively it can be very successful. I do also
feel it can be a difficult one to actually use. Not using any social comparison is supposed to
disconnect you emotionally from your audience. A had a presentation in my Human factors and
Safety class for aviation and I was able to implement the not using social comparison tool during
this presentation. When I speak in front of a group I get nervous, shaky, I speak really fast, dry
mouthed, forgetful and most importantly I feel my message isnt conveyed the way I would like.
During this particular presentation I tried not to look at anyone and I just stared at the wall to try
and make my content a little more clear. And although its not very personable I feel my message

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was presented a little better because of not using social comparison. The second strategy I used
was visualization (CH 2 pg 48). Visualization is supposed to help you picture yourself beating
the odds, overcoming your fears. When you picture yourself achieving its almost like a trial run.
You can anticipate what the feedback will be or how the audience will react. The issue with this,
at least for me, I also visualize the bad and run with that. I am currently a helicopter pilot, and I
am in training for my advanced ratings. Visualization definitely helps with flying helicopters, I
can visualize the approach or the specific maneuver I am trying to achieve and practice. We
actually call it chair flying where we sit in a chair and practice doing maneuvers. Although I
do not feel that the visualization technique works for me in the instance. I do believe it can be a
successful tool for achieving your goals. The third and final strategy I chose to use was self
fulfilling prophecy (CH 2 pg. 51). This basically says I think I am, so I am. This is a huge
confidence builder; it can also be a bad thing depending on how it is used. If you believe in
yourself and you have the ability and means of accomplishing your specific task then you will
accomplish your task. I actually have used this strategy when taking a stage exam in aviation. If
you go into the exam confident in your knowledge and skills, as long as you actually have the
knowledge and skills, you will succeed. Sometimes even if you have all the information, being
the person I am nervous, anxious, forgetful under pressure, it can still difficult to succeed without
being confident. The reason I chose these three strategies was because I felt they go hand in
hand. Not using social comparison just seems like an obvious one for me, not being able to speak
in groups. If I dont use any social comparison it should be easy to speak to anyone. I chose the
visualization strategy because we use it a lot in helicopter flying and I felt it would be a strategy I
am familiar with and can apply it without really trying. Unfortunately this strategy did not help
me with this specific problem. And I chose self-fulfilling prophecy because confidence is key. I

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felt if I cannot use social comparison and I visualize myself performing well and achieving my
goals, then I would.
Some problems that I had with implementing these strategies were the lack of chances to
enact on them. I did notice that voicing my opinion more led to more conversation, deeper
conversation and conversation with people I had never interacted with. Voicing my opinion led
to some respect but it also arose conflict with some people. Not that conflict is a bad thing, it has
helped me be more comfortable in my skin. I feel overall it was a positive experience and I will
continue to use strategies to improve upon my communication habits. Maybe not all of them but
I will continue researching and exploring new methods of improving my bad communication
habit. Continuing to further my interest in communication habits and the theories associated with
them. I really didnt know what to expect as far as this project goes, but in the end I do feel it is
important to understand communication barriers and the theories associated with them. Everyone
is different and requires an understanding of communication to truly be able to communicate
with everyone properly. I am pleasantly surprised with the outcome of this project and how it has
not only opened up my communication skills but open my eyes to the problems and theories
associated with them. In the future I will continue to apply not using social comparison, and selffulfilling prophecy along with researching other methods. As I come across other communication
barriers, not only with myself but what I see in others. I feel these have helped me the greatest.

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Trenholm, S., & Jensen, A. (2008). CH 2 - Interpersonal Communication and Self. In Interpersonal
communication (6th ed.). New York: Oxford University Press.