Kaylee Dowbenko

Dr. Hobart
Comm 405
We all have relationships that grow, and even relationships that eventually dissolve.
Knapp explains this in Knapps staircase model of relationships. He describes that relationships
grow in five stages: initiation, experimenting, intensifying, integrating, and bonding. He then
describes that they also dissolve in five stages: differentiating, circumscribing, stagnating,
avoiding, terminating.
An example that reminds me of Knapps staircase model of relationships would be Tom
and Summers relationship in the movie 500 Days of Summer. The first five stages in Knapps
staircase model are the way in which the relationship grows. The first stage is initiation which is
when we first meet someone, and in the movie this would be when Tom and Summer have their
first conversation in the elevator. The next stage is experimenting which is when the unknown
becomes known, this would be when Tom and Summer go to the bar, and they end up talking
and singing karaoke together. The next stage is the intensifying which is when the couple
becomes closer; we also see the term we used more often. In 500 Days of Summer, we see this
when Tom and Summer start saying we when they hang out together. The next stage is the
integrating stage this is when the two bond closer, and for me, I saw this when Tom and Summer
go to Ikea, and pretend they are a married couple. The final stage in the relationship growing
stage is bonding, which is when the two in a way fuse their interests and personalities together.
I saw this in the movie when Tom and Summer begin hang out often, and share inside jokes with
one another.
Unfortunately, this relationship also goes through the five dissolving stages of the
relationship. The first stage is differentiating, which is when the two people realize that they
have different outlooks on their life. I saw this in the movie when Tom and Summer have a

disagreement, in what I believe was a restaurant. The next stage is circumscribing, and this is
when couples avoid talking about things. An example in the movie is toward the end of Tom and
Summers relationship. We see that they do not talk as much as they did when they first started
spending time together. Next is the stagnating stage is which is when the relationship does not
really go anywhere, it just stands still. It is noticeable toward the end of Tom and Summers
relationship that their relationship is falling apart, but they never do anything about it, they are at
a standstill. The next stage is avoiding, which is when the couple avoids interaction all together.
This is seen in the scene where Tom and Summer go to Ikea for the second time, and Tom
pretends like they are a married couple again, but Summer looks annoyed and does not involve
in the interaction. The final stage is the terminating stage, which is when the relationship ends.
This stage is in the movie when we see Tom and Summer officially break up.
Overall, Knapps staircase model of relationships shows the five stages in which
relationships grow which are: initiating, experimenting, intensifying, integrating, and bonding.
Knapp also states the five stages of relationships dissolving which are: differentiating,
circumscribing, stagnating, avoiding, and terminating. An example to best show how these steps
are played out in relationships is the movie 500 Days of Summer. These steps really show how
relationships grow, and eventually dissolve.