---------------BOOK DETAILS---------------[BOOK NAME]

6 Letters, Two Words. Easy to say, hard to explain, hard

er to do: MOVE ON.
[TOTALPARTS]
15
------------------------------------------[ BOOK DESCRIPTION ]
-------------------------------------------The title says it all :)
------------------------------------------*******************************************
[1] Prologue
*******************************************
How many times do you need to get hurt for you to know it's time to let go?

Ang hirap na tanong ano? Hanggang kelan nga ba? Nasusukat ba ang katangahan ng t
ao? May MARTYRDOMETER ba na pwedeng gamitin para malaman kung hanggang kelan ka
lang dapat magpakasakit before you actually let go?
-In a failed relationship, there are two personas: The one who left and the one t
hat's left behind. The former enjoys a lot while the latter dies slowly. The one
who left rejoices as if he won a case, the other one though not guilty was jail
ed. The first one will find a new love but the last will stick for love to come
back. The one who left brought the memories and the other was left with a scar.
Lastly, the one who left wakes up to a brand new day while the one left behind
wakes up with another day to battle the pain...

--

Ako yung latter. Ako yung iniwan. Ako yung umaasang babalikan...
*******************************************
[2] Start With A Broken Heart
*******************************************
It was a battle of will to wake up in the morning and not cry upon seeing the em
pty space beside you. The space where he used to lie. That space where you used
to see him smiling at you when you wake up in the morning and where he cuddles w
ith you before sleeping at night.

Now it's all gone. What was left was a big space that I can't fill up on my own.

I used to share all my dreams with him here, in my room. But last night was the
last time... I'm afraid that he won't be coming back anymore.

He said he fell out of love. Akala ko nung una, imposible yung ganun. Maybe beca
use we were so in love that I never thought that time will come when we will be

apart.

Hurting... was an understatement of what I'm feeling right now.

I want to kill myself.

Maybe I was about to, I don't know. I guess my head was drained with all the flu
id due to my intense crying that I wasn't really aware of what I was thinking. U
h... I thought I heard my phone ring from somewhere. Now where is it?

I looked behind my pillow. It wasn't there. I looked under the bed. No. Not ther
e. Ipinagpag ko yung kumot. Then I heard a soft thump. My phone fell on the bed.
It was still ringing.

"Hello?" I answered. Hearing my croaky voice put me on the edge of crying once a
gain..

"Thank God you picked up! How are you? Pupuntahan ka namin ni Denise dyan!" I he
ard my friend Ree say on the other line. Hindi na ako nakapagsalita. I just crie
d some more...

"Hello? Mira?"
"Umiiyak na naman ba?"
"Oo weh. Mira? Speak up! Are you okay?"

Of course I'm not okay! How the hell would I be okay? I just came out of a fiveyear relationship for God's sake!

"Don't do anything stupid okay? We're coming over!"

Don't do anything stupid... Huh. Funny. I've been doing that exact same thing fo
r the past five years... I've been trying to make our relationship work for God

knows how long but it was like trying to build a house with two by fours and glu
e.
It was stupid to even think that it will work.

---

They both hugged me tight upon seeing my disarrayed self. Napaiyak na lang ako s
a kanila... I think there's nothing better for me to do that to cry my heart out
.

I think I'm about to cry blood.

"There there... it's okay."

It bloody hell isn't! I just nodded to avoid more sermon.

"It's his loss..."

Yes. HIS. I wish I could believe that...

Ree held up my face. "Ang laki na ng eyebags mo teh! Nakatulog ka ba kagabi?!"

Umiling ako. Iyak nga lang ako ng iyak kagabi eh. Malas pa na insomiac ako. SYA
kase.. sinanay nya 'kong laging nagpupuyat. Palagi kase kaming nagmo-movie marat
hon tapos nagmi-midnight snack. Tapos kulitan galore hanggang sa mag-umaga.

Kaya nung bigla syang umalis, hindi ako nakapag-adjust agad.

"Aish. Halika nga! Naligo ka na ba?" Inamoy-amoy ako ni Denise habang hila-hila
naman ako ni Ree papasok ng condo ko.

Umiling ako ulet.

"Yuck Mira! Ano ka ba naman? Pinapabayaan mo na yang sarili mo eh. Kumain ka man
lang ba?"

Umiling ako for the third time. They sighed in unison. Eh kase naman, all I did
was cry last night. Kasalanan ko bang unli tears ako kagabi? Haay..

Itinulak ako ni Ree papunta sa shower.

"Maligo ka neh. Lalabas tayo." Sabi nya.

"Pano?" Pano maligo? Nakalimutan ko na...

She glared at me. "Luka! Basta maligo ka."

"Okay." Isinara ko yung pintuan. I turned the shower on at tumapat dun. Tumingal
a pa 'ko kaya halos pumasok na sa mata at ilong ko yung tubig.

Pakalunod kaya ako?

Haha...

Biglang nagbukas yung pintuan. Oo nga pala.. hindi ko ni-lock. Pumasok sina Ree
at Denise.

"Don't even think about it." Mariing sabi ni Denise.

"Think about what?" Painosente kong tanong.

"Drowning yourself." Sagot ni Ree.

Haay.. alam na nila agad, iniisip ko pa lang?

"I'm not sure I'll drown though. Ang hina ng tulo eh." Sumahod ako dun sa shower
.

They both glared at me.

"Joke lang guys. Labas na kayo ng makaligo ako." Sabi ko. Medyo hesitant pa sila
nun na iwanan ako kaso pano naman ako makakaligo ng nandun sila, di ba?

They looked at me skeptically; na para bang hindi sila naniniwala na matino ako.

"Guys, I'm fine."

They both sighed saka dahan-dahang isinara ang pintuan.

Joke.

--

AN: Hindi po magkakasnghaba ang chapter. Maisipan ko lang eh.. pinaghati-hati ko

lang ng mas madaling i-digest..haha..
*******************************************
[3] Find A Cure
*******************************************
We went out... or rather.. I was forced to go out with them. Shopping daw muna.
Sino ba namang babae ang ayaw mag-shopping? AKO. Mas gusto kong magmukmok sa con
do ko. Tipid pa sa pera. Hindi pa 'ko pagod. Haaay..

--

Pagkatapos naming mag-shopping, bumalik ulet kami sa condo ko at naglinis sila.

Ako nakatanga lang. Ayokong galawin ang kahit ano dun sa condo ko. HE designed i
t kase. Lahat ng ayos ng furniture, every nook and cranny, sya ang naglagay.

Kaya ayoko sanang galawin ang kahit ano dun kase it feels like I'm letting him g
o when I still can't. Hindi ko pa talaga kaya...

Kaso mapilit sila. Eh di sila na lang. Haaay..

--

After cleaning, pinagtulungan nila akong ayusan. Lalabas daw kami. TO MEET NEW F
RIENDS. Naku, if I didn't know any better... Itatry lang nila akong i-hook up wi
th some guy. Para makalimot. For sure naman hindi ko yun magagawa kase iku-compa
re ko lang yung mga lalaking yun sa kanya.

We went to this club na sikat daw. Hindi ko alam kase I don't usually go clubbin
g. Simula nung maging kami, I didn't feel the need to go out and mingle. Sa kany
a lang kase umikot ang mundo ko. Tanga eh noh? Buti nga natagalan ako nina Ree k
ahit hindi ko na sila naiintindi.

"Ang baho naman dito." Yun ang una kong napuna. "He wouldn't like it here..." I
said to myself. Hate kase nun ang amoy ng alak at sigarilyo eh. Another reason k
aya hindi kami nagpupunta sa ganitong lugar.

"Eh di mabuti. No chance of running into him.." Toinks. Narinig pala ni Ree yung
sinabi ko? Ganun? Ibig sabihin hindi ko sya makikita dito? Haaay... sana pala s
a Starbucks na lang ako nag-aya. Dun yun lagi eh. Nakiki-wifi.

"Ganun? Uwi na lang ako." Sabi ko. Nawalan ako ng gana.

"Di pwede!" Hinila nila akong dalawa tapos nagpunta kami dun sa bar. Umorder sil
a ng lady's drink. I ordered something harder. Bato. Ipupukpok ko sa ulo ko. Bak
a sakaling makalimot.

--

After a few... err... drinks, I felt drowsy. Hot. Bothered. Nauseated. Lahat na.
NAHIHILO AKO. And with the blaring music and eye-sore LED lights, lalo lang sum
akit ang ulo ko.

Asan ba kase sila?

"Hey.. wanna dance?"

I looked up to see a blurry image of a guy na nakatungo sa 'kin. Nakaupo kase ak

o, eh matangkad sya.

"Uh.. who're you asking?"

He smiled. Wow. Perfect teeth. Naalala ko tuloy yung sungki ni ex na pinabunot n

amin just last month. Amp. Memories.. why can't they just go away and leave my m
ind at peace?

"You, silly." Naiiling nyang sabi. Hindi ko masabi kung gwapo sya kase medyo mad
ilim yung upper side ng mukha nya. All I know is that he has perfect teeth and l
ips that girls would be dying to kiss.

"Me?" I pointed at myself.

He smiled again. "C'mon." He grabbed my hand and led me to the dance floor. Inil
agay nya yung braso ko sa batok nya then he put his arms around my waist. Uh.. a
lam ko hindi slow yung song? Pero bakit ganun kami magsayaw? Parang tanga lang..
.

"What's your name?" He whispered. Shit ang bango nya. Amidst all these horrid sm
ell, sya lang ang mabango. Lalo tuloy akong nahilo...

"Mira. Ikaw?"

"Kent."

"Ah..." Wow. Ka-rhyme ng name ni ex.. Brent. Takteng yan. Alis ka na sa isip ko
ex. Di ka na kailangan eh.. >_<

Kent tugged me closer. "Hey.. wanna go somewhere else?" His smell was intoxicati
ng. Ang sexy pa ng voice nya.. pang-bedroom. Very airy. Shete. Baka mamaya rapis
t 'to weh.

"Where?" Ako naman napahigpit ng kapit. Nahihilo ako kaka-sway. Nakailang inom b

a 'ko kanina? I can't even remember...

"Somewhere quiet." He said. "I'll pleasure you.."

(AN: Ayun yung pic ni Kent sa kanan------------------------------------------------------------------->)

--

Lasing ako.

Kakabreak ko lang.

I'm at my most vulnerable point in life so please don't judge me when I went out
with him for this pleasure that he promised to give.

Screw tomorrow.

--

*The morning of the screwed tomorrow came...

Ugh.

The aftertaste.

The aftermath.

Masakit sa ulo! Kainis! Parang pinukpok ng ilang beses ng bote ang ulo ko! Wait.
.. where the hell am I? Pagmulat kase ng mata ko, I'm pretty sure that I'm not i
n my own room... Iba ang bedsheet. Iba ang kurtina. Iba ang pintura ng wall.

And there's somebody else on the bed. Naked... like me.

OH MY GOD!

I screamed.

Napabalikwas ng bangon yung guy sa tabi ko. Ako naman sa katarantahan, nahila ko
yung kumot. Buti na lang doble doble yun.

"Why?! What's wrong?!" He asked in worry. Una kong napansin yung mukha nya. Ang
gwapo takte. Did I just make out with this guy?

"Ikaw!" I pointed at him. "Sino ka?!"

He frowned. "Don't you remember? I'm Kent."

"Kent?"

I rummaged my brain for some info on Kent. Takteng utak yan, puno kase ng tungko
l kay ex ih...

"What's your name?"

"Mira. Ikaw?"

"Kent."

"Ah..."

"Hey.. wanna go somewhere else?"

"Where?"

"Somewhere quiet." He said. "I'll pleasure you.."

O_O

"Y-You're-"

He nodded.

Naramdaman kong nag-init yung mukha ko. It was all new to me. THIS. I never made
out with a stranger! Sa isang tao ko lang isinuko lahat-lahat. Kay EX.

Tumayo ako, dragging a piece of sheet along the way.

"I'm going." Nakatungo kong sabi. Nagulat ako ng bigla nyang hinawakan yung bras
o ko.

"Wait."

"Bakit?" I asked, rather curtly.

He smiled. At ayun, nabato ako sa kinatatayuan ko. Para tuloy.. ayoko ng umalis.
Parang ganun ako kay Brent eh. When he smiles, natitigilan na lang ako. Ganun k
o sya kamahal...

Haaay.. si Ex na naman.

"Gusto mong mag-breakfast?"

"Hindi na." Mabilis kong sabi.

"Sure?" He was still smiling.

"Y-Yes." I stammered.

"Yes to what?"

"Yes I'm sure."

"Sure to what?"

I sighed. Kakulit din ng isang 'to eh. "I'm going home." I said in finality. His
shoulders slumped and he let me go.

"Okay, if you really want to."

"Uhm.. where are my clothes?" Walang nagkalat na damit sa sahig. Ano yun, inimpi
s nya?

"Nilalabhan."

"HA?!" Jusko! Ibig sabihin may pumasok na dito tapos nakita kami... ako..???

He chuckled. "Don't worry. She swore she'd never tell anyone. And besides, sanay
na yun sa 'kin." He said as if he's read my mind.

Ah... Playboy pala sya. Womanizer. Malandi in all sense of that word. Haynaku. I
n all fairness naman, mukha syang mabait. Hindi nga lang mapakali sa isang babae
. Pang-ilan na kaya ako sa mga nadala nya rito? I shivered at the thought. I hop
e he used some protection. Takte. Nakakahiya kaseng itanong eh...

"Pano yan? Uuwi na 'ko eh.."

He smirked. "Then stay for a while. Tutal naman, nilalabhan pa yung mga damit mo
."

Umiling ako.

Nagulat ako ng lumapit sya. T-Teka... Napapikit ako. Takte ano ba yan!

Narinig ko syang tumawa. "Relax." I felt his hand on my face tapos yung isang ka
may kinabig ako palapit. Napamulat ako. Ang lapit ng mukha nya. Takteng yan. Tam
a na yung kagabi. Ayoko na! Magagalit si ex... Toinks. Asa naman ako.

He tilted his head. Hahalikan nya 'ko for sure. Umurong ako.

"I really have to go." Mariin kong sabi.

He sighed. "You can use my bathroom." Itinuro nya yung naka-ajar na pintuan sa m
ay likuran ko.

"Pano yung damit ko?"

"I'll lend you my sister's."

"Pano yung undies?" Dami kong demands noh? Haha... Syempre, ngayon na lang naman
kami magkikita eh kaya hayaan na.

"May spare sya dyan."

"Okay." I headed to the bathroom, balot pa rin ng kumot.

--

Paglabas ko ng bathroom nya, nakita kong nakalatag yung damit na sinabi nyang ip
apahiram nya sa 'kin. Hindi ko na sya nakita after that. Paglabas ko ng kwarto n
ya eh yung maid na lang yung naabutan ko. Pinapakain pa nga ako weh kaso tumangg
i ako.

--

Pag-uwi ko sa condo ko, nandun sina Ree sa may pintuan, inaantay ako. Galit na g
alit sila sa 'kin for leaving without permission. Walang habas pa ang pambabatok
nila sa 'kin. Hanep. Nakalog ata si ex sa utak ko..

--

*******************************************
[4] Up The Dosage
*******************************************
A few days later, nagpunta ulet ako dito sa fave tambayan ni ex. Sa Starbucks.
Who knows? I might run into him here... Sana...

Nadinig naman agad ang panalangin ko.

Nakita ko si ex, having coffee with some girl. Bumangon agad yung inis sa dibdib
ko. He FELL out of love? O may nang-agaw lang talaga sa attention nya? Kainis!
Masugod nga ah!

"Where do you think you're going?"

Si Kent. Nakaharang sa daan ko.

"Tabi nga dyan!" I pushed him aside... or I tried to anyway. He didn't budge.

"Why are you so angry?"

"I'm PMS-ing! Get the hell out of my way!"

Tumawa sya. "Kakaiba ka talaga. Ikaw lang ata ang babaeng nakilala ko na aminado
ng nagpi-PMS!"

"Tse! Tabi nga!"

"Ayoko." He stepped on his right ng humakbang ako sa kaliwa ko. Asar naman 'to.
Nakuha pang makipagpatintero.

I gave out an exasperated sigh. We're causing a scene na eh ayaw pa rin nyang tu
mabi.

"Kenneth-"

"Uy galing ah! How did you know my real name?"

"Eh?" Hula ko lang yun eh. Kunware nakalimutan ko na yung name nya so I came up
with a name na medyo malapit sa Kent. Tsamba pa. Pangalan nya pala talaga yun.

"Gusto mong mag-coffee?" Nakangiti nyang tanong.

"Ayoko! I want you out of my way!"

"Wrong answer!" Hinila nya 'ko palabas ng Starbucks.

"Akala ko ba magkakape tayo?"

"Ayoko dyan. Ang mahal eh.."

Ganun? Ang yaman yaman nya eh... Oo mayaman sya. Kita ko sa bahay nya. Tatlo pa
kotse nya. Psh. San kaya ako dadalhin nito?

Isinakay nya 'ko sa kotse nya.

At parang sinadya pa talaga nyang ilapit yung mukha nya sa mukha ko nung ibinuck
le nya yung seatbelt ko.. which I didn't ask him to do!

Ngumiti pa sya nung magkatapat yung mga mukha namin.

"Ang gwapo ko noh?" Sabi nya. Tumaas hanggang bubong ng kotse nya yung kilay ko.

"So?"

"Wala lang. I'm just wondering kung bakit ganyan ka sa 'kin. Don't you find me a
ttractive?"

"No." Kay ex lang ako attracted.

"Really? So you won't mind at all if I kiss you?" He challenged.

"Sure." I accepted.

He kissed me.

And I was right. I didn't feel anything. Kilig lang... pero syempre, ikaw ba nam
an ang halikan ng ubod ng gwapo kung hindi ka rin kiligin. But that's that. Wala
ng iba. Wala yung parang floating on air feeling na kay ex ko lang nararamdaman
.

He sensed siguro that I wasn't into it because he ended it so abruptly.

Kunot ang noo nya ng tumingin sya sa 'kin.

"Ouch." Sabi nya.

"Yeah. It burns, doesn't it? Pwede na ba 'kong umalis?" I opened the door pero m
abilis din nya yung naisara.

"No."

"Bakit na naman?"

"You think that you can get away that easily for hurting my ego?"

"Yes? Maybe? Look. I wasn't in a mood for playing your games today, okay? Maghan
ap ka ng ibang makakalaro mo."

Tiningnan nya 'ko ng masama. Nakipagtitigan ako sa kanya. One thing I know for s
ure.. I wasn't afraid of this guy. Kay ex lang ako takot. Leche. Ex na naman Mir
a? Pasagasa kaya ako? Baka sakalaing matauhan?!

Si Ex. Out of the corner of my eye, nakita ko syang palapit sa kotse nya. Ipinag
bukas pa nya ng pintuan yung girl na kasama nya.

"Tabi! Bababa ako!" Pasigaw kong sabi kay Kent. He was looking at them too. Sinu
ndan ata ang tingin ko.

"Who are they?"

"None of your business."

"Who's he? Ex mo?"

Napaiwas ako ng tingin.

"It's none of your business."

"Look at me." He tilted my head so that I have no choice but to look straight at
him.

"What? 'Wag kang maawa sa 'kin."

He sighed saka lang sya naupo ng maayos sa driver's seat.

"I don't pity you."

"Good."

"But... I wanna help you."

"I don't need your help."

"Maybe. But I still want too."

"I don't."

Nakipagsukatan ako ng tingin sa kanya. By that time, nakaalis na ang kotse ni ex

.

"Let's go someplace."

"Ayoko."

"Whatever." He drove off. Gustuhin ko mang bumaba eh nakalock naman yung pintuan
.

--

Naulit pa yung pagkikita namin ni Kent kase pinuntahan nya 'ko sa condo ko. Dere
cho pasok nga eh. Akala mo dun nakatira. May dala syang Chinese takeouts.

"Inimbita ba kita?"

"I don't think so. Why?" He started eating the food he brought.

"Then why are you here?!"

He shrugged. Prente pang itinaas ang dalawang paa nya dun sa coffee table ko.

"Gusto mo?" He offered the box he's holding.

Umiling ako. "Umalis ka na lang pwede?"

He sighed, put down the food and walked towards me. Dere-derecho sya kaya alam k
ong kapag hindi ako umurong eh mabubunggo nya 'ko. Kaya umurong ako ng umurong h
anggang sa magtama na yung pader at likod ko.

"Why are you always rejecting me?" He asked.

"Why are you always chasing after me?" Pabalik kong tanong.

"Because I'm intrigued." He said.

"Why?"

"Because you poured your heart out to a stranger at the bar. I was listening to
you. All you blab about was your ex and your failed relationship. Geez! Why don'
t you just move on and get a life?"

"Why do you care?" Nakakainis. I never asked him to listen to any of that tapos
ngayon susumbatan nya 'ko? Papangaralan? Who does he think he is?!

"I don't know!" He put his hands on each side of my face. "I don't know why... b
ut for some reason, I found myself taking you home and not doing anything to you
.. except na hinubaran kita ng damit kase nasukahan mo yun."

Napamulagat ako.

"You mean to say walang nangyare?"

Umiling sya.

"Sayang nga eh. Kung alam ko lang na ang sarap mo palang halikan.. di sana sinam
antala ko na." He smirked.

"Why did you lie?"

"I don't know. Hindi ko alam kung bakit I wanted you to stay badly at my house a
t gusto ko pang makipagkwentuhan sa 'yo. Ang weird mo nga eh! But in spite your
weirdness, I felt like I'm being drawn to you."

"Gusto mo 'ko?" Yun na lang ang natanong ko.

He nodded. "I think so.."

"Eh?" Bakit? Bakit nya 'ko gusto? Nakakatuwa naman. Haha.. ewan ko. It feels nic
e to know that someone likes you. After ex, I felt like I did something wrong to
deserve that. Akala ko nasa 'kin ang mali. This.. Kent.. was proving me wrong..

"Really? That's all you can say?" Matabang nyang tanong.

"Kent..." What can I say? Alam ko namang mahal ko pa ang ex ko. Kahit anong gawi
n nya, hindi ko sya magugustuhan.. kahit parang sobrang perfect na nga nya para
sa 'kin...

"I'm willing to help you get over him Mira. Will you let me?"

Do I really have to forget my ex? Can't I live with even just my memories of him
? Kelangan ko na ba talaga syang kallimutan?

Pero...

Napapagod na rin ako sa kahihintay sa pagbalik nya sa 'kin.

"Mira?"

I sighed, looked him in the eye and took a leap of faith.

"Okay..." I finally said.

--

*******************************************
[5] M
*******************************************

Make your heart accept defeat.

He said we'll do this his way. So I had no choice but to follow his "how to move
on" list. Nagtataka lang ako kung bakit dito na naman kami sa Starbucks pumunta
. Akala ko ba kelangan ko ng kalimutan si ex? Eh bakit nandito ako sa favorite p
lace nya?

"What are we doing here?" I asked him.

He shrugged. "Magkakape."

"Bakit dito pa?"

He smirked. "Di ba favorite place nya 'to?" He asked. I nodded. "Then we wait...
"

So we waited.

A few minutes later, nakita naming pumasok si ex kasama yung girl na kasama nya

a few weeks ago. I choked back the tears that were about to fall. Matatanggap ko
sana kung ibang babae na yung kasama nya eh. At least I could say that it was j
ust his fleeting fancy. Pero ilang linggo na ang nakakalipas.. yung babae pa rin
na yun? Di ba may something na?

Gusto ko silang sugurin. Gusto kong magwala... but Kent held my hand... keeping
me in place.

"At least let me look away.." Sabi ko.

Umiling sya at hinawakan pa mula sa likod ang ulo ko para hindi ko ma-divert ang
tingin ko. Sa katititig ko sa kanila... hindi ko na napigilang umiyak...

"It will be okay.." I heard Kent say. Then he kissed the top of my head.

I cried... until all I see in front of me is a blurring image of a guy and a gir
l happily having coffee.

--

As I've said... hindi fair ang partition... haha.. ganan lang talaga yan kaikli.
..
*******************************************
[6] O
*******************************************

Overhaul your future.

"Lahat ng iisipin mo in the future, lahat ng plano mong gawin with him.. imagine
it with someone else..."

"Why?" Hindi ko maimagine. Kapag wala si ex sa future ko... nagiging blur lahat.
Halo-halo na. Walang malinaw...

"Basta... everything you have to dream about... dream it with me."

"Why?"

"Because."

So I tried. I imagined him walking with me on the streets of Rome. I imagined hi

m marrying me and having kids. I imagined us getting older..

Pero sa tuwing naiimagine ko yun.. sumisingit si ex...

--

*******************************************
[7] V
*******************************************
Value your existence.

"Where are we going?"

"Wherever you want to go. San mo ba gusto?"

"I don't know.." Nung kami pa ni ex, laging sya ang pumipili ng lugar na pupunta
han namin. Dakilang tagasunod lang ako. Kaya ngayon.. hindi ako makapag-decide f
or myself...

He sighed. "What do you want to do?"

"I don't know." As I've said.. tagasunod lang ako sa gusto ni ex. Tsk.. antanga
ko pala...

"Wala talaga at the moment?"

"Bungee jumping?" I blurted out.

Napatawa sya. "What?"

I pressed my lips together. "Sa yun ang naisip ko eh. Okay lang naman kung hindi
natin gawin."

He stood up. Nakaupo kase kami nun sa sala ko. As usual, feeling at home sya.

"Let's go?" He offered me his hand. Aba talagang gagawin namin?

--

We were at this bridge kasama yung isang grupo ng mga jumpers. Fully-equipped si
la. They were about to finish preparing me for my jump when I chanced to take a
glimpse on the river below. Sobrang taas ng posisyon namin..

Natakot ako.

"Mira okay ka lang?" worried na tanong ni Kent.

Umiling ako at hinawakan ko yung braso nya.

"Kung tatalon ako, tatalon ka rin." Sabi ko sa kanya. He didn't complain. Nagpal
agay na lang sya nung mga safety things na nilagay nila sa 'kin kanina.

Tapos yumakap sya sa 'kin. Yumakap din ako sa kanya.

We were pushed sideways and then...

We were falling.

--

I'm screaming all the way down.

"STOP SCREAMING!" He yelled.

I screamed some more.

Kaya ang ginawa nya.. hinalikan nya 'ko.

And then I felt the rush of the water in my head. Napatubog na pala yung mga ulo
namin sa ilog. Tapos naramdaman kong ni-release nila yung tali. Dali-dali kong
hinablot si Kent kase hindi ako marunong lumangoy.

He found me and tried to keep my head above the water.

Nakangiti sya.

"Ano'ng feeling?" He asked.

"Masaya." For the first time since ex... feeling ko talaga masaya ako. Maybe it
was the thrill. Maybe it was the water. Maybe it was the jump... or maybe it was
him.

I don't know.. but for some reason.. I AM HAPPY.

--

"Mira? Are you okay?"

"Bakit mo kami tinawagan?"

Both Ree and Denise have frowning faces when they saw me waiting in a restaurant

. Hindi kase nangyayare ito eh. Na ako ang tumatawag. Palaging sila. Sila yung n
ag-eeffort to get in touch with me. Palagi.

I hugged them both.

"I missed you guys!"

"Mira are you okay?" Pag-uulit na tanong ni Ree.

I released them both and smiled. "I'm okay."

"Ano'ng meron?"

"Wala lang." Pinaupo ko sila at umorder na kami ng pagkain. "Iiwan ko lang yung
last will and testament ko." I teased.

They both glared at me.

"Joke lang!"

"You're not funny."

I sighed. "I just wanna... thank YOU guys for sticking with me through all the b
ad times in my life. And sorry for taking you for granted. Lalo na nung kami pa
ni Brent. Kahit nakakalimutan ko na kayo, you didn't treat me like a stranger. I
'm really lucky I have you both.."

They both went "Awwwww..."

"So.. I just want you to know that I appreciate you very much."

They both get up and gave me a hug. Tapos nagkaiyakan pa kami bago dumating yung
order namin. Syempre libre ko. Haha.. first time ko ata silang ilibre..

Pero nakahinga na 'ko ng maluwag. Kase nasabi ko na yun sa kanila. Ayoko kaseng
mawala na yung chance eh.

And I'm truly grateful for them.. kung wala sila baka... ewan. Hindi ko alam kun
g saan ako mapupunta kung wala silang dalawa..

-*******************************************
[8] E
*******************************************

Erase his existence in your life.

Nandito na naman si Kent sa condo ko. Ano'ng ginagawa nya? Nililimas ang buong b
ahay ko with ex's things. Lahat ng ituro kong bagay na kay Brent or palaging hin
ahawakan ni Brent o galing sa kanya... nilalagay ni Kent sa isang malaking trash
bag.

"Wala na?" He asked.

I looked around the unit. Oo nga. Wala na. Halos wala ng natira! Lahat ng pictur
es namin ni ex, yung mga naiwan nyang damit, yung mug nya, toothbrush, socks and
eveything... ready to be thrown na.

Mabuti na nga lang hindi kasya yung couch dun sa trash bag eh...

"Wala na." Sabi ko. Pati bed sheets itinapon nya. Ibibili na lang daw nya 'ko ng
bago...

Lumapit sya sa 'kin tapos itinaas yung kamay ko.

"Eh ano 'to?"

I saw what he's looking at. The promise ring ex gave me. Binawi ko agad ang kama
y ko.

"Wag na 'to." Sabi ko.

He heaved a sigh. "It's from him, isn't it?"

Nag-iwas ako ng tingin.

"Give me that."

Lumayo ako. Nagpaikot-ikot pa kami sa unit. Hanggang sa ma-corner nya 'ko at big
laang hinablot yung singsing. Muntik pang madala yung kamay ko!

Tapos itinapon nya yun sa bintana.

Wala na..

Wala na yung promise ni ex..

Haaay..

-*******************************************
[9] O
*******************************************

Open you heart to somebody else.

"Open naman ang heart ko for everybody else eh..." Reklamo ko sa kanya.

He sighed. "Totoo ba? O yang ex mo pa rin ang may pinakamalaking chunk ng puso m
o?"

"Eh normal naman yun.."

"Ilang buwan ka na bang ganyan ha? Don't you think it's time na to move on?"

"It's easy for you to say... hindi mo pa kase nararanasan 'tong nararanasan ko n
gayon eh.."

He slumped back on the couch. Naupo ako sa tabi nya.

Then he spoke..

"Two years ago.. I was left at the altar.." He said. Napatingin ako sa kanya. Se
ryosong-seryoso sya. And when he spoke again.. he was on the very edge of crying
...

"She was my everything.. so when she left, I was left with nothing... I tried to
kill myself after apologizing to everyone who went to the church. First I jumpe
d off a bridge. Pero tubig lang yung binagsakan ko. Hindi pa nga ako nalunod eh.
Second, I overdosed myself with sleeping pills. Hindi rin effective. Nabilaukan
lang ako. Then I decided to hang myself... but the funny thing is.. when the ro
pe was finally choking my neck and I was about to kick the chair off... saka nam
an ako natakot mamatay."

It was like seeing him for the first time... I don't know what has gotten into m
e but I found myself wanting to hug him. Kaya niyakap ko sya... He put his arm o
n my shoulder and pulled me closer.

"I'm sorry Kent. I didn't know.."

"It's okay. Naka-move on na 'ko..."

Tumingin ako sa kanya. "How did you do it?" Ako sa sarili ko, alam kong hirap na
hirap ako. Sa lahat ng bagay na ginagawa ko... naaalala ko si ex. I thought I'v
e had it worse. Dahil nagli-live in na kami ni ex pero... mas masakit pala yung
sa kanya. He was about to get married when... she decided to just leave him.

Aray... parang mas hindi ko kaya yun.

He shrugged. "Ewan ko kung pano. Basta inom lang ako ng inom noon, sleeping with
any gorgeous girl I came across with.. wasting my money.. wasting my life... ha
nggang sa magsawa na rin ako. Nakakasawa eh."

Tama.. nakakasawa nga.

"Iniisip ko noon kung ano ba'ng mali sa 'kin. Bakit nya 'ko iniwan? Pero nareali
ze ko din na... baka naman sya ang may mali... baka hindi lang talaga sya para s
a 'kin. Maybe I deserved someone better.." He looked at me.

For some reason, I found myself growing warmer towards him. Ewan ko.. baka kase
nakakarelate ako sa kanya?

"Nakikita mo pa rin ba ang ex mo?" Tanong ko sa kanya.

"I did see her.. nung ikakasal na sya."

"Waaah? Ano'ng ginawa mo?"

He shrugged. "Nothing. I just sat there sa pinakang-dulo and watched her get mar
ried to some guy. Nanghihinayang ako syempre.. but that's that. When I let go of
all the bitterness I feel inside... naging magaan ng tanggapin lahat. That nigh
t, umalis ako ng reception to celebrate on my own. Finally, sabi ko sa sarili ko
, I truly have moved on. That's the night when I saw you."

Ah.. kaya pala bihis na bihis sya nun?

"So ano'ng kelangan kong gawin ngayon?"

He smiled. "Entertain suitors."

"San naman ako hahanap ng suitor? Rarampa ako sa mall ganun?"

Tinapik nya ang noo ko. "Baliw. Hindi pa ba 'ko qualified?"

Napamaang ako sa kanya.

"Manliligaw ka?"

He rolled his eyes. "Ang slow mo. Tingin mo ba gagawin ko lahat ng 'to kung hind
i ako interested sa 'yo?"

"Sorry naman. Akala ko kase matulungin ka lang talaga.." nakangiti kong sabi.

"Matulungin talaga ako. But I don't go to this extent sa taong hindi ko naman gu
sto." Sabi nya. Then he kissed my forehead. "Open your heart to me Mira. Panahon
na para sipain mo palabas sa puso mo yang ex mo."

*******************************************
[10] N
*******************************************

"What's next?" I asked him a few days later. Tinotoo nga nya. Nanliligaw sya. Ad
ik eh. Kung makaasta naman parang sinagot ko na sya.. Tsk tsk. Pinakilala ko rin
sya kina Ree at Denise. Nakakatuwa nga sya eh. Hindi sya tulad ni ex na gusto l
aging kaming dalawa lang. Sya pinipilit pa nyang sumama sina Ree sa mga lakad na
min.

Kaya naman tuwang-tuwa yung dalawa sa kanya kase tanggap nya yung mga kaibigan k
o tapos tanggap din sya nila...

"New boyfriend." He said with a smile.

"Weh? Patingin nga?" Inagaw ko yung list nya.

KENT'S 6 WAYS OF MOVING ON:

M- Make your heart accept defeat.

O- Overhaul your future.
V- Verify your existence.
E- Erase his existence in your life.

O- Open you heart to somebody else.

N- (New Life) New BOYFRIEND

Ang adik. Pinaltan lang? Haha... Tumingin ako sa kanya na kunwari eh inis ako. P
ero ngiting-ngiti lang syang parang bata na nagpapakita ng good grades sa mommy
nya. Nakakatuwa syang tingnan...

"So.. para ma-complete mo yung list... sagutin mo na 'ko." He said while grinnin
g from ear to ear.

"Tse! Inuuto mo na 'ko nan eh!" Natatawa kong sabi.

Magsasalita na sana sya ng biglang tumunog yung telephone. Since malapit sya, sy
a na ang sumagot..

"Hello?"

He listened intently. Tapos nag-iba yung expression ng mukha nya. He looked at m

e with his blank expression saka iniabot sa 'kin yung phone.

"For you..."

"Sino daw?"

He shrugged saka lumayo.

"Hello?"

"Hello Mira?"

"B-Brent?"

I heard him sigh on the other line. Habang padabog naman na naupo si Kent sa cou
ch. I looked at him and he wasn't very happy.

"Akala ko nakalimutan mo na 'ko.." I'm starting to actually...

"Bakit ka tumawag?"

"Pwede ka bang makausap?"

"Nag-uusap na tayo." I said, rather coldly.

He chuckled. "I mean, in person? Sheila broke up with me...I want to talk to som
eone and I thought it best be you so.. please? I need you Mira..."

Napalunok ako.

"O-Okay."

"Thanks! Be there at Starbucks after 30 minutes okay? Bye."

He hung up.

Huh... ganun lang yun?

Ibinaba ko na yung phone at nilapitan ko si Kent. Umirap sya nung naupo ako sa t
abi nya.

"Brent wants to talk to me." I said. Saka lang sya tumingin sa 'kin. Inis lang y
ung nababasa ko sa mukha nya.

"Don't tell me na pupunta ka?"

Tumango ako.

He slapped his thigh angrily saka tumingin sa bintana.

"You're being stupid again." Sabi nya.

"Don't hate me please..." Hinawakan ko yung braso nya. Pero pinalis nya yung kam
ay ko tapos bigla syang tumayo.

He sighed. "I guess you won't need me anymore."

"Teka Kent-"

"Uuwi na 'ko. Good luck with your ex." Pagkasabi nya'y pabalibag nyang isinara y
ung pinto.

-*******************************************
[11] Step One Backwards
*******************************************

5 minutes before my meeting with ex.. tinawagan ko si Kent. I don't know... kahi
t hindi naman kami.. I still feel guilty about the whole thing. Feeling ko pinap
aasa ko sya. At the same time, hindi ko alam kung bakit nagalit sya sa 'kin.

Makikipag-usap lang naman ako kay ex eh...

Pero naka-off ang phone ni Kent. Tumawag din ako sa landline nya pero sabi nung

maid hindi pa daw sya umuuwi..

Haaay...

--

Sa Starbucks, nakita kong naglalaptop si ex. Naka-reading glasses sya at mukhang

tutok na tutok sa netbook nya.

Huminga muna ako ng malalim then I debated with myself if this is the right thin
g to do.

My stupid self insisted that this would make me happy. I guess there's no sense
of right and wrong left in me anymore...

Basta masaya ako. Okay na yun sa 'kin..

Nilapitan ko sya.

"Brent?"

He looked up... and smiled. Namiss ko 'yang ngiti mo, gusto ko sanang sabihin ka
so pinigilan ko ang sarili ko. Tiniklop nya yung laptop nya saka sya tumayo.

Medyo nagulat ako ng hinawakan nya yung tigkabila kong balikat tapos hinila nya
'ko palapit at hinalikan yung pisngi ko.

"Akala ko hindi ka darating eh." Ipinaghila nya 'ko ng upuan saka ako pinaupo.

"Ano'ng pag-uusapan natin?"

Hinawakan nya yung kamay ko.

"Mira pwede bang tayo ulet?"

"H-Ha?" Hanep.. direct to the point? Di man lang nya pinaligoy-ligoy..

Eto na yung matagal ko ng inaantay.. Finally! You're being stupid again, his voi
ce seemed to echo in my mind. Am I being stupid again?

Pero eto naman yung gusto kong mangyare di ba?

"Mahal mo pa naman ako di ba?"

Oo naman. Di ba? Kaya nga mas pinili kong pumunta dito at kausapin sya eh. Mas p
inili ko sya kesa kay Kent kase mahal ko pa rin sya hanggang ngayon... hindi pa
rin talaga ako nakakamove-on...

I nodded.

He smiled and kissed my hand.

--

Kent calling...

I blinked.

Brent caling..

Namali lang pala ako ng basa. Naalimpungatan kase ako at may tumatawag. Nakapiki
t ako when I picked up my phone from under my pillow. Akala ko naman si Kent na
ang tumatawag... Isang buwan na rin pala mula nung huli kaming magkita.

Haay..

I sort of miss him.

"Hello?"

"Hey.. nagising ba kita? Sorry..."

"No.. gising pa 'ko." Pagsisinungaling ko.

"Ah.. tamang-tama. Papunta 'ko dyan ah..."

"Ha? Bakit?" I glanced at the clock. 12:45 a.m.

"Nagugutom kase ako weh. I brought some food... nood tayong movie?"

"Okay."

"Okay. I'll see you later. Bye. Love you."

"Bye.." I hung up, saka sumubsob ulet sa unan ko. Hmmm... I'm still very very sl
eepy... Dati kase sapilitan akong pinapatulog ng maaga ni Kent eh. Hindi daw kas
e maganda sa kalusugan ko yung masyadong nagpupuyat. Tama rin naman sya eh. Low
blood kase ako.

Haaay... pero kelangan ng bumangon. -_-

--

Burger. Burger ang dala ni ex-este.. bf.

"Walang Chinese?" Tanong ko.

He looked at me, amused and surprised.

"Chinese? Kelan ka pa nahilig sa Chinese?" Natatawa nyang tanong.

Oo nga pala... burger usually ang kinakain namin tuwing gabi. Minsan pizza, misa
n naman junk food lang. Eh kelan ba kase ako nahilig sa Chinese takeouts?

"Ah.. nevermind. Tara nuod na tayo?"

--

Pero hindi rin kami nakanuod. Bakit? Remember.. itinapon ni Kent lahat ng bagay
na kay Brent? Eh lahat ng movies na yun kay Brent eh. Pili nya at bili na. Nagta
taka nga si Brent kung bakit wala na yung mga gamit nya dun eh.

So we ended up eating na lang tapos konting kulitan bago ako tuluyang nakatulog
sa lap nya. Hindi ko kase kaya ang antok eh.

-*******************************************
[12] Queen of the Stupids
*******************************************

Two months...

Two months na 'kong walang balita kay Kent. I've been trying to call him pero pa
laging unattended. Parang nasaktan ako. Nawalan ako ng isang importanteng tao sa
buhay ko...

Mali pala.

Tatlo sila.

Sina Ree at Denise umiiwas na rin sa 'kin mula nung maging kami ni ex-este-bf. P
alagi kase akong kasama ni Brent eh. Wala na akong time kina Ree. Kagaya ulet ng
dati. Pahirapan na naman kaseng makahanap ng time para sa kanila.

Demanding kase si Brent. Gusto sa kanya lagi ang attention ko. Haaay... minsan n
ga nakakapagod na eh. Ewan ko ba...

Parang.. unti-unti akong nagsasawa.

--

Starbucks na naman? Kape na nga ata ang dumadaloy sa katawan ko eh. Haaay..

"Can't we go somewhere else?"

Napakunot ang noo nya. Kakapasok lang kami ng Starbucks nun. As in kakalampas la
ng ng pintuan.

"May gusto ka bang puntahan?" Tanong nya.

I shrugged. San ko ba gustong pumunta?

"Sky diving?" That's what I thought at the moment.

Tumaas ang kilay nya. "You're kidding, right?"

Napasimangot ako. Kung si Kent yun for sure papayag yun agad. KJ kase 'tong si B
rent eh.

He sighed saka hinawakan yung kamay ko.

"Tell you what? Let's go someplace else..."

I'll pleasure you.

O_O

Kent! Alis ka nga sa utak ko! >_<

"S-San?"

He smiled. "Sa park."

--

So ayun, bumalik kami sa kotse nya na nasa parking lot. Ipinagbukas naman nya 'k
o ng pinto pero pagkaupo ko hindi ko ginagalaw yung seatbelt. Inaantay kong sya
ang mag-buckle.

"Oh? Mag-seatbelt ka na." Sabi nya.

Napabuntong-hininga na lang ako at inilagay mag-isa ang seatbelt.

--

Third month. Naghahallucinate na 'ko. Palagi ko syang napapagkamalan na si Kent.

Tapos nabibingi pa 'ko kase kapag may kakilala sya na tumatawag sa pangalan nya
.. pakirinig ko lagi-KENT.

Hindi na nga ata ordinaryong pagka-miss 'to weh.

Parang iba na.

Gusto ko na ata si Kent.

--

Three and a half months ng maramdaman kong hindi ko na talaga kaya. Hindi ko na
kayang mag-pretend... Sa lahat ng ginagawa, si Kent lang ang pumapasok sa isip k
o. Even when Brent and I kiss, si Kent ang naiimagine kong humahalik sa 'kin.

At habang pinipilit kong mahalin ulet si Brent, mas lalo akong nahihirapan...

--

"Brent..."

"Hmm?"

"May sasabihin ako." Kakatapos lang nyang mag-toothbrush. Opo. Dito na naman sya
nakatira sa condo ko. Haay... minsan nga feeling ko naso-suffocate na 'ko sa pr
esensya nya eh. Minsan, pagmulat ng mata ko, mas gusto kong wala akong nagigisna
ng katabi kesa sya ang nakikita ko sa umaga.

Weird noh?

Kaya gabi-gabi iniimagine ko na lang na si Kent ang nakayakap sa 'kin at si Kent

ang nagigisnan kong nakangiti pag-gising ko sa umaga. Kaso medyo lumalabo na ri
n yung memorya ko sa kanya.. Lapit na kaseng mag-four months eh...

Ni ha, ni ho... wala man lang akong naririnig mula sa kanya.

"Pwede bang mamaya na? Malilate na kase ako weh."

"This can't wait Brent."

Tumingin sya sa 'kin na kunot ang noo. Tapos sumandal sya sa pintuan ng bathroom
at pinag-cross yung mga braso nya.

"Okay. Ano ba yun?"

"You need to move out..."

Nagulat sya. "HA?"

Napalunok ako. "I-I said.. you need to move out."

Napairap sya tapos bumalik ulet ang tingin sa 'kin. "Why? Ayaw mo na ba 'kong ka
sama? Hindi ka na sanay na nandito ako?"

Umiling ako.

"Okay. If that's what you want..."

"That's not what I want."

He gave out an exasperated sigh. Yun yung buntong-hininga nya na nagsasabing nag
sasawa na sya sa pakikipagtalo sa 'kin.

"Eh ano ba?" Iritado nyang tanong.

"I want you out of my life Brent."

-*******************************************
[13] Stuck. LAG. Hang ako.
*******************************************

Brent moved out. Nag-away pa kami. Nagsira pa sya ng gamit. Parang nung una lang
. But this time, baliktad na. Ako na yung umayaw...

Hindi matanggap ng ego nya na ako ang nakipag-break sa kanya. Pero hindi ko hina
yaan ang sarili ko na maawa sa kanya at bawiin yung sinabi ko.

Hindi rin ako umiyak.

I guess I was relieved to let him go... finally.

--

Pero si Kent? Wala pa rin akong balita. Nga pala.. friends na ulet kami nina Ree
. Mas naging close pa nga kaming tatlo nung nawala si Brent sa buhay ko eh. Para
ng sya lang yung panggulo sa buhay ko.. ngayon ko lang narealize. Ang tanga ko p
ala talaga...

Ngayon nga pala, gagala daw kaming tatlo. Halos araw-araw na nga kaming gumagala
eh. Intayan daw dito sa park sa may fountain. Kanina pa nga ako dito weh.. ang
tagal naman nila..

"Hey.. wanna dance?"

I heard a familiar voice say.

May shadow na humarang sa 'kin mula sa sikat ng araw. At may kamay din na nakala
had..

I looked up.

He has perfect teeth and lips that girls would be dying to kiss.

Eyes that you could drown into.

Face that you would love to see every morning beside you.

And smile that would truly melt your heart.

My vision became a blur... and I realized that it's just my tears that are causi
ng that effect. Umiiyak na pala ako...

He pulled me up into his arms in a tight embrace.

I missed this...

His arms.

His warm hug.

His smell.

His heartbeat.

Namiss ko yung taong tumulong sa 'king makausad. Namiss ko yung taong nagmahal s
a 'kin ng walang hinihinging ano mang kapalit.

"Namiss kita..." I said in a croaky voice. Talagang umiiyak na naman ako...

He kissed the top of my head.

"Miss na miss na miss na rin kita..." Sabi nya. My heart beated faster... almost
to the point na parang sasabog na sya sa sobrang saya.

"Bakit ngayon ka lang nagpakita?" I asked in a muffled tone. Nakasubsob kase ako
sa dibdib nya.

"Ngayon ka lang kase natauhan eh.." Natatawa nyang sabi.

I looked up to his smiling face. "Adik ka."

"Mas adik ka. Binalikan mo pa talaga sya eh..."

I pouted. "Ikaw kase!"

He kissed me.

"May sinasabi ka?" Nakangiti nyang tanong.

Napangiti ako. "Wala.. sabi ko isa pa."

He obliged and kissed me again...

Haaay... I feel like I'm floating on air...

Naputol lang ang pangangarap ko ng biglang tumunog ang phone ko. Wala palang Ken
t na dumating. Taeng yan... nananaginip na 'ko ng gising.. Haaay..

"Hello?"

"Mira? San ka?"

Nagpahid ako ng luha. "Nandito sa may fountain. Ikaw?"

"Malapit na. Nadyan na ba si Ree?"

"Wala pa eh-wait." Tiningnan ko yung phone ko. May incoming call. Si Ree naman.
"Tumatawag si Ree. Wait. Sagutin ko lang."

Ini-on-hold ko si Denise. Saka ko sinagot yung tawag ni Ree.

"Hello Ree? Asan ka na?"

"Nandito na. San ka?"

"Sa may fountain." Tamo 'tong mga 'to. Usapan namin di alam?

"Ah.. sige kita na kita. Bye."

Pinatay ko na yung phone ko. I sighed. Akala ko talaga totoo na yung kanina.. Sa
yang...

"Mira!" Nakangiting bati ni Ree.

I smiled a little. Saka tumayo para yakapin sya.

"Kanina ka pa?" Tanong nya.

I rolled my eyes. "Aba oo. As usual late na naman kayo. Haynaku.."

"Bumabawi lang kami noh! Dati nga nung inaaya ka namin, hindi ka sumasama eh..."

"Sus. Nanisi pa!"

"Mira! Ree!"

"Denise!"

Nag-group hug kaming tatlo. Sweet namin noh? Hehe.. parang hindi madalas magkita
eh.

"Umiyak ka ba?" Kunot-noong tanong ni Ree habang ini-examine ang mukha ko.

"Huh? Oo nga noh.." Sabi naman ni Denise na para bang saka lang napansin yung mu
kha ko.

Umiling ako.

"Weh.. eh ba't ang pula ng mata mo?"

"Napuwing ako." Pagdadahilan ko. Mahangin naman eh. Understood na kung mapuwing.
Kaso hindi naman talaga ako napuwing eh. Nagising lang ako sa isang magandang p
anaginip.

"Si Brent na naman ba?" Concerned na tanong ni Denise. "Nanghihinayang ka na nam

an at nakipag-break ka?"

Umiling ako. Hindi si Brent...

"Eh sino?" Ree asked.

Tinaasan ko sila ng kilay. "Ba't ba ayaw nyong maniwalang napuwing ako?"

"Sus.. isa lang namang tao ang iniiyakan mo eh."

Isa lang ba talaga?

Aba bago 'to ah... isa nga lang tao ang iniyakan ko pero ibang tao na. Hindi na
si Brent, si Kent na. Kakayanin pa kaya ng puso kong magmove on na naman? Parang
kaka-repair pa lang, nasira na naman... haay.. durog na ata eh.. -_-

"Mira?"

"H-Ha?"

Dumadami na ang worry lines ng mga kaibigan ko dahil sa 'kin. Haay...

"Are you okay?"

"Yeah... sa'n tayo?"

"Sure ka?"

"Oo nga. Ano ba naman kayo? Tara na!"

Umuna na 'kong maglakad. Asar kase.. umaalpas na naman yung mga luha ko...

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[14] Moving On?
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MOVING ON?

If you would ask me how... I have no idea. May isang taong nagsabi sa 'kin na ka
ilangan mong pakawalan lahat ng bitterness sa puso mo towards that person para m
as madaling bumitaw... Pero minsan kailangan mo ring humanap ng taong tutulong s
a 'yo para mapalitan ng saya ang pait sa puso mo.

Ang swerte ko at nakatagpo ako ng mga taong tumulong sa 'kin.

Kaso....

Nakamove-on nga ako...

Ngayon naman.. mukhang na-stuck na naman ulet ako. Kay Kent. Six months, 2 weeks
and 4 days na since the last time that I saw him.

Akala ko mas madali ko syang makakalimutan kase maikling panahon ko lang sya nak
asama tapos nawala rin sya agad. Pero wala pala sa tagal yun. Wala sa dalas na m
agkasama kayo. Basta maramdaman mo yung love na sinasabi nila... kahit pa wala n
a sya sa buhay mo... mahirap pa rin syang makalimutan.

Nasa 'kin pa nga yung number nya eh.

I still order Chinese takeouts.

Hindi ako nagkakape sa Starbucks.

Maaga na rin akong matulog.

And I do things without even thinking...

Nasa akin pa rin yung lista nya ng ways to move on pero hindi ko ginagawa. Ayaw
ko syang kalimutan. Ayaw kong magmove on sa kanya. Kung mangyayare man yun... I'
ll let it happen naturally. Ayokong pwersahin ang sarili ko. Nakaya ko nung una
kase nandyan sya para tumulong pero ngayon.. wala ng tutulong sa 'kin para kalim
utan sya..

Six months..

Six months na Kent...

I dialled his old number.

Wala lang... paminsan-minsan tinatry ko pa rin syang tawagan.. malay ko ba kung

may sumagot... kahit parang ang labo na nung mangyare...

O_O

It's ringing...

My palm became sweaty at biglang lumakas yung tibok ng puso ko. Ramdam ko yung k
aba. I almost wished nga na sana hindi na lang nag-ring eh. Sana narinig ko na l
ang yung same old unattended message na palagi kong naririnig..

After the third ring...

"Hello?"

Boses ng babae.

"Hello? Who's this?"

Araaay....

Tinakpan ko yung bibig ko to baffle the sound of my cry. I guess nauna na syang
maka-move on. Sino kaya yun? An occassional fling? O yung babaeng talagang kapal
it ko na?

"Hello! Sino ba 'to?"

Pinutol ko na yung tawag.

This is the end. It's over...

I guess I really need to move on.. again...

It hurts when you realize that you love that person after he has gone.

Tama.. what hurts more is not having the chance to make things right. I guess I'
ll be forever stuck here. Lilipas din ang panahon at alam kong mawawala rin 'ton

g sakit na nararamdaman ko..

SANA.
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[15] Epilogue
*******************************************
Oh di ba epilogue na? Bilis nuh? ^^

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*********************

"Kuya, may tumawag kanina sa old number mo."

Napatingin ako sa kapatid ko. Nandito na naman sya sa bahay ko. Tsk. Kaya pala a
ng kalat eh..

"Nakialam ka na naman ng gamit ko? How many times do I have to tell you na off-l
imits ang mga gamit ko ha?"

She pouted saka kumawit sa braso ko. "Pakalat-kalat lang kaya yung sim mo! Iniin
sert ko lang nga kanina eh. Bakit ba hindi mo pa itapon yun?"

Bakit nga ba Kent?

"Sino daw yung tumawag?"

Sya kaya?

My sister shrugged. "Ewan. Hindi nagsasalita eh. Pinagbabaan pa nga ako ng phone
! Baka naman ex mo?"

"Hmm.. ewan." Sino naman kaya sa mga ex ko ang tatawag sa 'kin? Sa dami ng ex-fl
ings ko, hindi ko na alam. -_-

"Kuya order tayo ng pizza!"

"Ayoko. Gusto ko ng noodles."

"Amp ka. Nagmumukha ka ng Chinese kaka-noodles eh!"

"Pampahaba ng buhay yun."

"Tsk. Fine. Mag-Chinese ka. Basta i-order mo 'ko ng pizza ha? Ha? Ha? Ha?"

"Tss. Oo na. Kulet."

She finally smiled at me then tiptoed to kiss me on the cheek.

"Thanks! Kaya mahal kita eh..."

After saying that, she ran off somewhere.

Huh... buti pa ang kapatid ko mahal ako. Haaay...

Six months ago.. I did the craziest thing..

I let the girl I love go for no sane reason. Pinakawalan ko sya and I let her cr
awl back to her ex kahit alam ko na masasaktan lang kami pareho...

I didn't even fight for her.

That was the biggest mistake I ever made. I just wish na merong paraan para mait
ama ko yung mali na yun.

********************************************************************************
********************

Ayan! Thanks sa pagbasa! ^^ Umaga na pala. Whaha..

Sequel or not? Hmmm...

What'cha think?
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STORY END
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