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Chelsea Molato
John Kubler
English 115
9 December 2014
Toddlers in Bikinis
Fast-forward about 20 years, you are walking around the mall and you see your
13-year-old daughter walking with her friends. They are all dressed in crop tops and short
shorts. She doesnt see you, but you see her. You see the way people are looking at her.
Now in this scenario, you either feel the need to cover her in a blanket or leave her be.
Question is: is your daughters hypersexualized dress and behavior empowering her as a
young woman or degrading her, turning her into a mere sexual object for titillation? This
is all based on your perception. Our perceptions are highly influenced by our cultural
environments and most importantly, media. As media becomes more hyper-sexualized,
we see a generation arising that thrives with this hyper-sexualization, which is leading in
a negative direction because it is affecting our views of one another, our selfempowerment, and our intimate relationships.
In our society, too often we acclaim the player and demean the slut. With
these two words we already assume their gender, even though I did not denote which one
is the male and which one is the female. One quote that I heard frequently growing up
was, One would rather have a key that opens many locks than a lock that can be opened
by many keys. This quote means that men are acclaimed if they have sex with multiple
partners, but women are looked down upon if they do the same. This is a double standard
issue. What does this say about our society? It baffles me how we look at gender this way

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and we wonder why the upcoming generation is going down a downward spiral. This
separation of gender begins when we are toddlers learning how to create interpersonal
relationships. In an article called Sex, Lies and Conversation; Why is it so Hard for Men
and Women to Talk to Each Other? by Deborah Tannen, she says, Boys and girls tend to
play with children of their own gender, and their sex-separate groups have different
organizational structures and interactive norms (Tannen 1). This sex-segregated
interaction leads us to believe that men and women are different. We have different
standards and expectations of one another. Yet, in reality, both genders are capable of
achieving the same things. In addition, men tend to create bonds through doing things,
while women create bonds by talking. This may be one of the many reasons why women
are always being criticized. Women criticize each other! From experience, I have heard a
woman calling another woman a slut, rather than a male saying so. In another article
called Beyond 'Empowerment'? Sexuality in a Sexist World written by Nicola Gavey, she
says "Many young women we interviewed expressed dissatisfaction or discomfort with
various features of the gendered order of their lives and sexism they tentatively observed"
(Gavey, 722). In a sense, women feel that they are unable to achieve the standards of
what a woman should be. They end up being unsatisfied with themselves. This affects a
pre-teen substantially when they are constantly told to be skinny, pretty, and sexual to
gain a males attention. As a result of all this, hyper-sexualization has a more negative
connotation on women compared to men.
This leads to my next topic of a womens self-empowerment in our sexually
overrun society. Go out and look at a newspaper or magazine after a big award show. The
headline will talk about a raunchy performance of a pop female artist. The article will talk

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about how she is barely clothed and dancing in a provocative way. Not one word will be
said about her talent or her voice, but instead the focus will be on the way she presented
herself. While reading the previous sentences, a certain performance will pop into your
head whether it is Miley Cyrus twerking in 2013 or Madonna kissing Britney Spears and
Christina Aguilera in 2003. Although this is a performance, you may be wondering how
it relates to women and their self-empowerment today. Through my ethnography
assignment, I learned that these performances are seen and talked about by everyone. All
the couples that I talked to had seen the performances of Miley Cyrus and Nicki Minaj.
Although their views about whether these performers were self-empowering or objecting
during their performances were mixed, a majority of the couples believed it was
acceptable for young women to go out in short micro-skirts if they were going to a club
or party. To reiterate, they believed it was okay for a woman to go out in revealing
clothing copying the same provocative dance moves in a club. Whether we accept it or
not, these performances reflect our culture. If culture did not have such a great reaction to
these hyper-sexualized performances, then they would fade away. Today, unfortunately,
popularity trumps talent.
But the question arises, are these women truly self-empowered? The artists
themselves believe that they are, but who are we to say they are not. In an article by
Sharon Lamb called Porn as a Pathway to Empowerment? A Response to Petersons
Commentary, Lamb says, Rather than asking girls to look within to find authentic
feelings of empowerment, we might instead give girls skills with which to critically
examine the culture that is shaping them so that they can make choices that might truly be
empowering (Lamb 315). This means that we cannot tell a girl that she is empowered or

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not, but instead we should help her to figure out if she is. If Miley Cyrus feels
empowered dancing provocatively on a male, then let her be. Although she may feel selfempowered, the general population of women may feel objectified by her actions. Again,
empowerment is all based on perception. Someones idea of self-empowerment is
different from another persons idea of self-empowerment. Based on observation, females
feel empowerment solely from their sexuality and I think this is why it is negatively
affecting our society.
The dynamic of relationships has dramatically changed the past decade due to this
increased sexualization. I remember over the summer I was reading an article that
described my generation as the hook-up generation that forgot how to date. For
example, during our grandparents generation, in college, you date someone and get
married and have children after you graduate from college. Nowadays, college is based
on hook-ups and when you graduate, this habit continues until you realize that you should
start settling down. This is even evident in the book Persepolis by Marjane Satrapi when
Marji experiences her first western party. Her friend Julie throws a party and everyone is
lying down, smoking, and showing public displays of affection. Julie is a product of the
hypersexualized westernized society. Marji had never experienced such a party and that
night she really understood the meaning of the sexual revolution (Satrapi188). Julie
had slept with numerous guys, but she did not feel any embarrassment and even openly
talked about her sex life. This describes our generation well when we advertise shows
like Jersey Shore where 20-something year olds go out all the time, get drunk, and bring
people home to have sex.

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Not only is this seen in television shows, but it is also seen in movies such as
Crazy, Stupid Love. In this movie, one of the main characters, Jacob, is the epitome of
womanizer. He knows how to pick up women and even goes on to show Cal, a middle
aged man who is sad because his wife divorced him. We can assume Jacob has had
numerous one-night stands and Cal too. Meanwhile, Cals ex-wife is also sleeping with
other men. This hyper-sexualization is even affecting the younger generation when
Jessica, the teenage girl that is in love with Cal, takes a nude photograph to send to him.
What I found most interesting about the movie was how we perceived it. We have
become so numb to sexuality that it does not affect us. One-night stands and nude
photographs have become a norm in our society. This movie was rated PG-13, which
means that children 13 and over can watch this. Imagine the effect this could have on a
13 year-old childs idea of what relationships are supposed to look like. They might start
to believe that they will find love at a bar and that one-night stands and nude photographs
are acceptable. As we mature, we realize that these movies are not reality, but to these
kids, they dont know any better. Pre-teens and teenagers are constantly being exposed to
hyper-sexualization and this is affecting their development.
Sex will always be present. There will always be the birds and the bees talk and
sex scenes in the movies. It is inevitable in our society. But when will we reach our limit?
Will it take a toddler in a bikini posing provocatively to make us realize that this hypersexualization is affecting us in a negative way? If we do not properly educate the
upcoming generation where they feel safe and comfortable with themselves, then they
will continue on the downward spiral we pushed them on.

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Works Cited
Crazy, Stupid, Love. Warner Bros., 2011.
Gavey, Nicola. Beyond 'Empowerment'? Sexuality in a Sexist World. Spring Science+
Business Media, 25 Sept. 2011. Print.
Lamb, Sharon. Porn as a Pathway to Empowerment? A Response to Petersons
Commentary. Spring Science+ Business Media, 10 March 2010. Print.
Satrapi, Marjane. The Complete Persepolis. New York: Pantheon, 2004. Print.
Tannen, Deborah. Sex Lies and Conversation; Why is it so Hard for Men and Women to
Talk to Each Other?. The Washington Post, 24 June 1990. Print.