Beginnings of a New Social Circle

Beginnings of a New
Social Circle
Written by

Braddock
(edited by LA2NY)

By LA2NY & Braddock

Love Systems - www.LoveSystems.com

Beginnings of a New Social Circle

The Ultimate Guide to Text and Phone Game

Copyright 2009 Love Systems, Inc.
All Rights Reserved
www.LoveSystems.com

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This work is not to be considered professional, medical, psychological or legal advice. It is
for entertainment purposes only. Love Systems, Inc., or our associates, or affiliates will not
be liable for any direct or indirect consequences that occur from the use of any of the ideas
contained this book.

By LA2NY & Braddock

Love Systems - www.LoveSystems.com

Beginnings of a New Social Circle

Introduction
Moving to a new city or rebuilding your social life in your current city can seem like a
daunting task. Few things are tougher than the prospect of starting from ground zero.
Moreover, depending on where you are, while your new city may be busy and seemingly
bursting with opportunity, it might seem difficult to align yourself into the slipstream of the
social flow.
The aims of this document are to aid you in your endeavor of building or re-building your
social life from ground zero, while incorporating the principles from the Social Circle
Mastery Home Study product. We will explore many of the initial steps you will take if you
are moving to a new city or hitting the restart button in your current city.
You will be provided with 10 tasks, which gradually get more difficult, to help you pave your
way to social circle mastery. Depending on your current social situation, and whether youre
moving to a new city or rebuilding life in your current one, some of these tasks may already
be accomplished. Nonetheless, the tasks serve as a great way to evaluate where you currently
stand.

One Bite at a Time

When tackling a new conquest, people often have the urge to take it all down at once.
However, as the saying goes, the best way to eat an elephant is one bite at a time. Like
anything else, building a social circle takes time. More than anything though, it helps to start
small and work your way up. Essentially, you want to build upon goals, which get bigger in
scope the further you progress.
So while your ultimate goal may be to personally know the owner of every trendy nightclub
and bar in town, work on getting to know the door people first. Its good to have large goals,
but dont let them clout the importance of the smaller tasks at hand. When you take care of
the basics, youd be surprised how many of the big goals accomplish themselves.

Have Fun!
It is important to view the process of building your social circle as a fun process. As we teach
with cold-approach, the second anything seems like a chore, your results will suffer. You
should embrace the idea that you are on your path to bettering your life, and bettering the
lives of those you choose to bring into your social network. If all else fails, keep in mind that
the rewards really are worth it. Few things are more rewarding than having built a life where
you are surrounded by high-caliber people who care about you.
That said, if youre starting from scratch, it will take significant work to get to that point.
Youll find though, that while it might be difficult in the beginning, as you start to gain
momentum, you social life will begin to compound upon itself. Past a point, when all the
foundations are established, new, high-quality people will naturally seem to flow into your
life. That is the goal, so keep your eyes on the prize, and lets get started!
By LA2NY & Braddock

Love Systems - www.LoveSystems.com

Beginnings of a New Social Circle

Task 1: Get to know the Neighborhood
Whether you live in a big city or suburbia, it is a good idea to familiarize yourself with a
group of places near your residence. While you may not necessarily be going out on a Friday
night with Lou from the neighborhood bakery, familiarizing yourself with the local
businesses does a number of things for you.
Social Proof: If you ever take a girl out somewhere, its pretty cool to seemingly know
everyone you come in contact with. So while your relationship with Lou may not seem
to be intrinsically valuable in itself, the fact that you know Lou, and everybody else in
the neighborhood, speaks about the type of person you are and your overall personality.
Cold-Approach Opportunity: If you are at one of your regular spots and happen to see a
cute girl, cold approaching her after receiving recognition for the people that work there
will help your cause significantly. By knowing the workers, much of the creep factor is
removed, and the friendly reactions from the workers (especially if they know you on a
first name basis), will transfer over to her reaction towards your approach.
Building State: When youre going out at night, your night should actually begin in the
afternoon. Going from not interacting with anyone all day to jumping into a social
setting can seem like going from relaxing in a sauna to being thrown in a tub of ice. On
he other hand, if you pepper in interactions throughout your day, by the time the
evening comes around, you will find yourself in more of a social mood and ready to
meet girls you actually care about.
Easy Practice: As we teach in our bootcamps, the ability to build and sustain normal,
organic rapport is essential to becoming better at meeting women (and people in
general). A large majority of this skill set is universal to all interactions, and as they say,
practice makes perfect. By having short conversations with the locals, you develop your
conversational muscle and have the opportunity to work on the fine art of rapport
building and transitioning.
So how do you do it? Its simple: Live your day the way you normally would, but search for
opportunities to meet and interact with others. So when Sam behind the coffee counter asks
you how your day is going, instead of replying with the usual fine, elaborate and try and
build conversation with him. Youll be surprised how many cashiers, workers, store clerks
and waitresses are open to conversation.
Most of these workers will find it refreshing that someone is actually interacting with them
beyond simply replying to boring questions out of social obligation. Treat the ones that are
colder as yellow lights, and make it a challenge for yourself to see if you can convert them to
greens. Itll serve as a great lesson and practice on how to plow through a cold exterior to
open someone up.

By LA2NY & Braddock

Love Systems - www.LoveSystems.com

Beginnings of a New Social Circle

Task 2: Develop a Social Routine
Get involved in your community in terms of living an active lifestyle and seeking out things
to do. It still surprises me how many people spend a majority of their free time at home.
When youre starting out, your home should primarily be a place of rest, not where you
lounge around all day relaxing. With a little effort, youd be surprised at how much you
can discover to do in your hometown (even if you live in suburbia).
Fill Your Days: If youre spending a majority of your free time at home on the
computer, youre not filling your days. Realize that life is too short, and we already
spend 25% of it sleeping, so when were not, focus on living it. While we all need
alone time and time to relax, dont use relaxing as an excuse for laziness and
inactivity. A good gauge to measuring the productivity of your day is by how tired
you are come bedtime. If you are collapsing into your sheets as opposed to going to
bed as force of habit, you probably arent doing enough with your day.
Create an Active Routine: Fuse your personal activities to social settings. For
instance, if cardio workouts are an important part of your life, consider trading daily
outdoor running with a few cardio classes at your local gym. Instead of sitting in
front of the TV all evenings of the week after work, sign-up for improv classes, salsa
lessons etc And while youre attending these programs, start looking for
opportunities to build a social network.
Do not treat the people you meet in these classes as cold-approach targets. The
beauty of a string of classes is that you know you will see the same people over and
over again. Instead, cultivate a good relationship, and focus more on the friends and
social circle aspect of the people you meet. And if you find a girl youre really
attracted to, still remember to play it slow. In this case, time is on your side.
One-Off Opportunities: Explore as many one-off opportunities as you can. In most
metropolitan cities, there is an endless supply of music festivals, carnivals, food
festivals, parades etc that come through. It is much easier to meet people in these
environments, as everyone tends to be in a festive and happy mood. If you choose to
day game at these activities, thats fine, but keep yourself open to the possibility of
fostering relationships for your social circle mastery purposes.
Become a Master of Your Domain: Many people live blindly in the cities they reside
in. Wherever you are, there is bound to be a weekly local publication detailing the
events and things to do in your city (in the US, some of these publications include
The Metro, L.A. Weekly, The New Yorker, etc). The point is to get familiar with
things you can do in your city. As you explore, youll begin to cultivate locations to
take girls on dates as well.
As you begin to build an active routine, and if you make an effort to be social whenever
possible, youd be surprised how friends start to naturally seep into your life. Remember to
be proactive though, no amount of activities in the world will help you if you keep to
yourself everywhere you go.
By LA2NY & Braddock

Love Systems - www.LoveSystems.com

Beginnings of a New Social Circle

Task 3: Strength in Numbers
While your journey to building your social circle may start solo, you will invariably need to
find a core group of friends, or a social tree, that you can call your own. Essentially, your
social tree should include you and a few other like-minded individuals with similar goals and
social aspirations.
Depending on your situation, it might be easier to start a new social tree fresh instead of
attempting to merge your way into an existing one. The benefits of starting your own social
circle is that you have the opportunity to lay ground rules from the start, and each person in
it is viewed as an equal. On the other hand, the benefit of joining a pre-existing social circle
is that if its good, all the groundwork is done and you instantly link yourself to an entire
network of people.
A core social tree of 4-5 people is ideal. Keep in mind it is not necessary for everyone to be
studied in game. In fact, if everyone does know about game, youll likely have to set up
ground rules so that your social circle doesnt turn into a game den. That is, instead of
viewing your social tree as an assault team whose sole purpose is to pick-up women, you
want to have the mentality that youre all friends that are just focused on making the most
out of life and on having a good time.

Creating a Circle from Ground Zero

If youre starting from ground zero, your best bet is to find others who have also recently
moved into the city, or others that are in transitionary periods in their lives. Youll invariably
meet people like this if you build an active routine (Task 2), but other options you have
include finding wingmen through bootcamps and/or the forums.
Note that just having an interest in game is not necessarily enough to determine
compatibility for someone youre considering bringing into your social circle. Game aside,
youll want to build your social tree with people you can see yourself meshing with outside of
a pick-up environment. Now if youre able to find guys that are into game, and who also
mesh well with your personality, then all the better.

Joining a Pre-Existing Circle

Joining a pre-existing circle is generally tougher, and typically requires you to develop a
relationship with a gatekeeper, or someone who will ingratiate you into the group. From
that point, it is in your best interest to start befriending others within the social circle one by
one, and slowly ingratiating yourself within the group as a whole.
When joining a social circle, definitely do not treat any of the girls the way you would in a
cold-approach setting. In fact, it might be a good idea to go a couple months without
actively hitting on any particular person in the circle. Your goal is to be a cool, fun guy that
they enjoy hanging out with. Once you start getting regular calls from various people in the
social circle to come hang out, you know youre in.

By LA2NY & Braddock

Love Systems - www.LoveSystems.com

Beginnings of a New Social Circle

Task 4: Setting Ground Rules
One of the biggest benefits from starting a social tree from ground zero, besides being on
equal footing with everyone in it, is having the opportunity to develop a set of ground rules.
The ground rules and pre-framing that is setup from the start will go a long way in ensuring
the sustainability and longevity of your social tree. The most common way for a social tree to
implode is when small pet peeves and annoyances build up over time and reach a boiling
point.
Additionally, setting ground rules also provides a great opportunity to highlight the things
you like about the people in your new social tree. Each person will invariably have their
strengths that benefit the group, and positive reinforcement is the best way to keep everyone
doing what they do best.
Here are a few ground rules to consider during your meeting. Others might apply, but these
are some concepts to help get the ball rolling:
Winging: If your social tree includes guys that have not studied game, it is particularly
important to go over wing rules (you dont have to use game terminology to get the
points across). Essentially, explain the idea that he who goes up to the girls gets his
first pick, and explain the general concept of how to wing in a set, and how not to
steal the spotlight upon entering the group.
Off-Limits: Have a discussion on which girls are completely off limits. If you all live
in an apartment building together, it might not be the best idea to get in relationships
with the girls living down the hall, especially if they can serve as social connectors to
a whole another network of hot girls. In your discussion, include friends, sisters, exs
and whoever else you would not particularly want your friends hooking up with.
Boundaries: Its a good idea to quickly go over the things that each of you cant
stand, as well as other small things that annoy you. Many times, the things that annoy
you may not be an issue for someone else and vice verse. By having a clear
understanding of everyones likes and dislikes, itll help tremendously in navigating
through your interactions amongst each other.
Non-Judgment: No one likes to be judged. Setup a frame so that future
conversations within your social tree regarding the quality of girls you guys interact
with are lighthearted. While it may be the dream to pull 10s on a nightly basis, it is
inevitable that not every girl you go after will be the hottest on the planet. That said,
there should be a collective effort to push each other outside of your respective
comfort zones, and to push the boundaries on the quality of girls you all typically go
after.
Game: If you and all your friends are aware of game, it could easily become the only
subject you guys talk about. Instead, make some sort of loose rule, which limits the
amount of game talk you and your friends partake in. The last thing you want is for
game to be the one and only discussion point within you social tree. While game may
be a big part of your life, it should not be your life.
By LA2NY & Braddock

Love Systems - www.LoveSystems.com

Beginnings of a New Social Circle

Task 5: Fall into the LJBF Zone a Few Times
When youre starting out, you should realize the importance and opportunity that comes
with falling into the lets just be friends (LJBF) zone. While it might be irritating if you have
been pursuing a particular girl for a period of time, or if youre out on a cold-approach
crusade, but falling into the LJBF zone is not always a bad thing.

Cold-Approaching to Make Friends

While it may suck to lose girls to the friend zone (typically a symptom of not enough
physical/verbal escalation and sexualization), when youre in the process of building your
social circle, it may not actually be a bad idea. In fact, it is a good idea to go out a few nights
a week with the primary goal of cold-approaching to make new friends.
Believe it or not, most girls do not typically go out with as strong of an agenda as most guys,
and are open to the idea of meeting new friends. Hence, if you and the core group of guys
you hang out with come off as cool, funny and interesting, there is definitely a possibility
that the girls would want to hang out with you all in the future.

Making Friends vs. Getting Laid

When youre cold-approaching to make friends, your standards are slightly different than
they might be if you were cold-approaching to get laid.
Social Connectors: Social connectors, or individuals who are connected to networks
of many others, are the best type of people you can meet throughout the night. Keep
in mind that social connectors do not necessarily have to be attractive, since it is
many times the case where less attractive guys and girls oftentimes have many hot
friends. It is important to note that the social connectors do not necessarily have to
be girls either.
Group Theory: In this context, youre going to want to spend more time ingratiating
the group, instead of focusing on just picking out one target. More importantly,
when you open the group, instead of narrowing down and isolating your
conversation to the girl youre most attracted to, refocus your attention on the
person in the group (guy or girl), that seems to be either the leader or the most
social.
Framing: If you do get isolated with a social connector, make an effort to frame
yourself into the friend zone so there is no confusion as to your intentions.
Examples of doing this include telling her about you great friend John who would
be a perfect match for her.
Meet-ups: When you go for the meet up in the future, send invites under the frame
that you and your friends are going out, and that she and her friends should come meet
you guys. If youre actively spending a few nights a week cold-approaching to make
friends, you can easily send out such an invite to at least a couple groups a week.
By LA2NY & Braddock

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Beginnings of a New Social Circle

Task 6: Create a Prized Venue
As you start going out more, youll want to take time to invest in building a couple prized
venues. A prized venue is a place where you have been to regularly and know a majority of
the working staff. Prized venues serve a number of purposes, and in a social circle mastery
context, have the capability of making it much easier to meet new people. Ideally, you will
want to setup two types of prized venues; one where you go to meet new people, and
another where you bring girls to for dates.

Prized Venues to Meet New People

Your first focus should be setting up a prized venue at a bar or club where you can regularly
meet new people. In general, you and the friends in your social tree should scope out a place
that regularly serves the types of people you are interested in dating and becoming friends
with. For the most part, these venues will typically include larger bars and clubs, some of
which may have a meatmarket feel. Regardless of your preference, aim to find a place that
caters to a large volume of people, as your goal is to expand your social circle and meet new
friends.

Prized Venues for Dates

The second type of prized venue is one you would use for dates. Unlike the prized venue
you use to meet people, the place you use for dates should be much more laid-back and
typically smaller in size. It definitely does not need to be somewhere that is trendy and
difficult to get into, and you will generally want to pick a place that is near your home (for
obvious reasons). The prized venue you use for dates can also be the place where you and
the people in your social tree go out to just relax and decompress.

The Food Chain

Once youve scoped out locations to develop as your prized venues, most of your legwork
will be in getting to know the various levels of staff. You generally want to work your way up
the food chain:
Door Staff: The door staff is generally the first set of people youll get to know.
When you are in line for the venue, take the opportunity to practice building rapport
and transitioning with the door staff. At a high-end location, getting to know the
people who work the door can be vital towards getting into the venue on a regular
basis. Plus, people notice when youre able to cut the line.
Bartenders: You generally want to get to know the bartenders on a first name basis.
A good way of doing this is to tip very well for your first drink every time you go.
Having the bartenders provide you special attention can make all your isolations for
shots more impactful, especially if the bartenders are hired guns.
Promoters: Depending on the city you live in, promoters may be the controlling
factor in your citys mainstream nightlife (such is the case in Los Angeles). In these
cities, getting friendly with the promoters can mean easy entrance into the best
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Beginnings of a New Social Circle

venues, free access to tables and a consistent entourage of pretty girls to party with.
However, since promoters are constantly meeting new people (their livelihood
depends on their ability to bring the party), they tend to be very flaky, and in many
cases, extremely difficult to get sticky with.
Manager: Once youre able to start introducing others to the bar manager (especially
at a high-end place), your perceived value in the venue begins to skyrocket. It will
suddenly become easier to meet others within the venue, and you will notice girls
eyeing you and your friends more consistently.
Owner: The highest level of staff youre able to befriend is the owner himself.
Knowing the owner provides access too all of the perks above, as well as the general
prestige of knowing the guy who runs the show.

Developing Prized Venues to Meet New People

At the lower levels of the food chain (doorstaff, bartenders), the key to building relationships
is being able to build interesting rapport. Most of this level of staff are generally neglected
and used only for their services. As such, its refreshing when someone remembers them by
their first name and can bring a few moments of good conversation.
Even if you have a great memory, take notes of the things you talked about with the various
staff members, and focus on covering as many unique topics as possible. Then the next time
you go to the venue, review your notes, and when you see a particular staff member,
reference something you two spoke about the last time you met. This is probably to fastest
way to forge a connection with members of the staff.
The higher up the chain you go (and depending on how trendy the venue is), you will
typically need to bring more value in order to develop a sticky relationship. In most cases,
especially for promoters, bringing attractive girls from your extended social network to the
venue is enough to get you going. You will find that having these girls as part of your
extended social tree tends to make all levels of social circle mastery significantly easier.
Initially attending the venue as regularly as possible will also build a significant amount of
goodwill with all levels of the food chain. The various levels of staff, from the door person
all the way up to the owner appreciates steady clientele, and even the hottest bars and night
clubs have their pool of regulars. Being slated as a regular can also make getting into the
venue on a consistent basis much easier.

Developing Prized Venues for Dates

Developing a prized venue for dates is much less cumbersome. Since there usually isnt the
concern about getting in, it is typically much easier to get to know all levels of the staff. All
you really need to focus on is initially attending the venue on a somewhat consistent basis,
and striking up interesting conversation with as many members of the staff as possible. By
doing this, you are bound to meet and develop friendships with most of the workers.
By LA2NY & Braddock

Love Systems - www.LoveSystems.com

10

Beginnings of a New Social Circle

Task 7: Setting up your Pad
As you develop your social circle, you will inevitably start having friends over. Your home,
whether you like it or not, is an extension and reflection of who you are. And while it may
not be absolutely necessary to have a decked out home in order to get laid, it sure doesnt
hurt. Moreover, if youre serious about building your social circle to its maximum potential,
you will eventually want to have your home serve as one of the hubs for your social tree. If
your place is the usual pre-party or after-party spot, you will definitely meet more people.
Having an awesome home also has spillover effects into your game itself. For instance, girls
you bring home will feel more comfortable in a well kept home, and the thinslice you get
from girls you take on dates is better (side note: whenever you take a girl on a date, you
should have her come up to your place for at least a few minutes so she can visualize where
shell be going when you go for the pull).
Having a nice home does not mean you have to be living in a mansion or in a gated
community. Rather, it means the interior of your home is well kept, and that it doesnt look
like a dirty frat house (unless of course, youre in college and live in a frat house). Most girls
would agree that a modest but cool apartment is more appealing than a mansion with a
sloppy or empty interior.
There are four key elements that go into having a home that is guest-friendly:
Seating: Make sure there is enough seating. You dont necessarily need one seat for
everyone person thats coming over, but as long as at least half of the people over
arent forced to stand, youre alright. While chairs work, consider couches, which are
more laid-back, along with futons and possibly even beanbags.
Music: Youll want to have an updated playlist with party music and laid-back music.
You dont necessarily need a 12-speaker sound system; and iPod player or a set of
decent computer speakers will work just fine. To find up to date music, visit the
website of your local Top 40s radio station, and there should be a section with songs
that the station regularly plays. From there, procure the music however you see fit ;).
Drinks: For pre-parties, the bare minimum you want to have is beer, hard alcohol
and chasers (i.e. orange juice, soda, Redbull). Ideally though, its best to make a fun
drink for the evening. Invest in a blender and for your hard alcohol and chasers, opt
for tequila/rum and margarita/pina-colada mixers (with ice cubes and coconut
shavings), and youre in for a fun night. Alternatively, you could create jugs of party
drinks such as jungle juice or scorpion bowls. The idea is to do something slightly
different from the norm, which will go a surprisingly long way.
Clean Bathrooms: You want to make sure your bathroom is immaculate. Few things
will gross a girl out more than a disgusting bathroom. Make sure your toilet is clean
and unstained, and that you have a full stock of toilet paper. Also make sure the
bathtub/shower is clean, with no noticeable mold of gunk growing anywhere girls
look!
By LA2NY & Braddock

Love Systems - www.LoveSystems.com

11

Beginnings of a New Social Circle

Task 8: Host Events
Once you get the ball rolling on laying the foundations for your social tree, its a good idea to
start integrating yourself as a focal point in your developing social circle. The best way to do
this is through hosting events either by using your place as a hub, or by initiating outings
amongst your friends.

Using your Place as a Hub

The easier of the two is to use your place as a hub. Essentially, your aim is to have your
home be a regular location for certain events. For instance, your apartment could be a preparty meeting point, a place for after-parties, or where you and the guys meet up to watch
Monday night football.
Another option is to host one-off events at your house. This could range from a laid-back
Fourth of July barbeque to a full-blown Friday night pool party. In this case, youre looking
to associate yourself with fun times, while having the opportunity to be in the spotlight, and
to showcase the cool sides of your personality. Remember, time + shared experiences =
relationships.
Regardless of the event, turning your home into a central meeting point amongst your social
tree will significantly increase the stickiness you have amongst your friends, and will further
root you in with the tree itself. This holds particularly true if you are joining a pre-existing
tree instead of starting a new one from ground zero.

Initiating Outings
If you choose to follow the path of initiating outings amongst your social circle, you are
essentially taking on the role of a social connector. As such, you will be responsible for
figuring out where the good places to go on which nights are, and then subsequently
working to get your friends out.
The most challenging element of initiating outings is managing everyones schedule and
motivating everyone to go out. If youre starting your social tree from fresh, this should be
an easier job (as youre all bound to be more fired up about going out), than it would be if
youve joined a pre-existing tree. Moreover, the social repercussions of a failed or bad outing
in a pre-existing tree are greater.

Prerequisite Stickiness
In each of the above cases, you will need to make sure that you have the prerequisite
stickiness to serve as host. That is, you have to be close enough to enough people in the
social tree to ensure success. Again, this holds especially true if you are joining a pre-existing
social tree. Without the prerequisite stickiness, the probability of flakes increases
significantly. For instance, if someone you and your friends met a week ago tried to get you
all to come out to a certain venue on Friday night, there is a good chance meeting up with
him wouldnt be too high on anyones priority list.
By LA2NY & Braddock

Love Systems - www.LoveSystems.com

12

Beginnings of a New Social Circle

Task 9: Filling your Social Parking Lot
In Social Circle Mastery, there is the concept of a social parking lot. A social parking lot is
the metaphorical space where friends whom you no longer contact as frequently are
parked. If you think through your past, you undoubtedly have friends you have parked in
your social parking lot over the course of your life. Many of the reasons for parking a friend
are oftentimes natural, and may typically include:
Geography: A major transitioning point for social circles takes place when you move
away; be it for college, a new job, or just to try something new. When you change
geography, you will most likely lose contact, or have significantly less contact, with
your friends back home, which you might have otherwise seen on a daily basis.
Interests: As you continue to grow and mature, your tastes and preferences continue
to evolve. Friends you may have shared everything in common with in the past may
have few similarities with you at this point in time. Nonetheless, you may still be
close with them, even if your tastes and preferences have changed, but you might not
be hanging out with them as much as you used to.
Family: If you for whatever reason need to spend more time at home or with family,
this can certainly limit the amount of free time you have to hang with certain friends.
This can be for a variety of reasons, be it an upcoming wedding, helping your sister
with her new baby, or an illness in the family.
Work/School: Depending on where you are in your professional trajectory, work or
school may take away time from being with friends that you might have seen more
regularly when you had more free time. Again, this is not necessarily unhealthy, and
is a natural by-product of being a productive person.
As you begin to rebuild your social circle, you will want to start taking a more active role in
managing your social parking lot. That is, you will want to reduce the amount of time around
friends who are bad influences on you. In other words, if someone is not conducive to
your becoming the social person you want to be, it is not the best idea to spend a majority of
your time with that person.
Moreover, you will find that as you start accomplishing your social goals, some of your
friends may not like the new person you are becoming. Perhaps they are uncomfortable with
the fact that you now actively seek out interactions with girls, or perhaps they liked it more
when they could square you away as the guy who wasnt a sexual threat. In some cases, the
idea of misery loves company comes into play, and your friends may not like you breaking
the silently agreed mold of collective unhappiness.
In any case, you have to be honest with yourself and identify who is helping your cause, and
who is serving as a detriment to your growth. While you may park these friends into your
social parking lot, it does not mean that they are no longer your friends; nor does it mean that
you are no longer close with them. It simply means that at this point in your life, because of
your new interests and the things you are pursuing, you just dont have as much time to be
around them as you once did.
By LA2NY & Braddock

Love Systems - www.LoveSystems.com

13

Beginnings of a New Social Circle

Task 10: Explore Merger Possibilities
Once you have made decent headway in establishing your core social tree, you should begin
looking into branching out and making connections with other social trees. You will find
that once you have a core group of cool friends, other trees, which may have been
inaccessible in the past, have suddenly become merger possibilities.

Types of Mergers
A merger does not necessarily have to be a complete fusion of two social trees. In fact, in
most cases, a merger is simply friendships between both trees on a multi-dimensional scale.
That is, various people in each of your trees develop friendships with various people in the
other trees.
Loose: A loose merger is typically defined as two social trees, which hang out when
the opportunity presents itself. For instance, if you and another group of friends
frequent the same venue every Tuesday, over time, you will develop a loose
affiliation with members within the group. And while you may not call upon the
group at any given moment to come hang out on a Sunday, these trees present
opportunities for expansions in the future.
Medium: A medium merger is typically either a conversion of a loose merger, or a
group where at least two people in your core social tree have become close with two
people in their social tree. Conversions from loose mergers typically happen if you
invite the group to a one-off event you may be hosting at your house (i.e. a birthday
bash, a pool party, etc), where there is still a party environment, but also
opportunity to develop stronger bonds.
Rooted: A rooted merger is when there are close relationships between three or
more core members within each of the social trees. Oftentimes, there will also be
one couple between the tress that has been dating beyond a casual period. At this
level, the two trees start to blend, and it becomes a very normal thing for both
groups to regularly hang out.

Solidifying Mergers
A majority of the loose mergers tend to happen naturally as a byproduct of living a social,
outgoing lifestyle. If youre going out with your social tree on a regular basis and focusing on
having fun (and not just on cold-approaching to get laid), you are bound to start meeting
various groups of people on a regular basis.
Thus, most of the work you and your social tree will take part in is in converting the loose
mergers to medium ones. As mentioned above, this is primarily done through inviting a
loose merger somewhere else, such as a one-off event you and your friends are hosting.
Make sure the invites are very causal (i.e. a mass text, you guys should come by, etc) as
opposed to setting firm times and dates. As with most conversions of loose affiliations, you
should manage expectations and be prepared for flakes.
By LA2NY & Braddock

Love Systems - www.LoveSystems.com

14