The Old Ball & Chain

By: Monica Evans

Prince charming slays the dragon and sweeps the damsel in distress off of her feet; the
happy couple proceed to get married in a beautiful ceremony and they live happily ever
after.
This is the fairytale. But, marriage is not a fairytale. Although is happily ever after
status for marriage truly unobtainable?

The Numbers
Currently, United States marriage rates have declined to record lows. According to the
Pew Research Center, in 2010 only 51 percent of all American adults are married. In
addition, Bowling Green State University's National Center for Marriage and Family
Research established the 2013 U.S marriage rate as 31.1 percent. So, there are 31
marriages per 1,000 unmarried women. Meanwhile, the Center for Disease Control found
the divorce rate to be 3.6 percent.
With numbers like that it seems hard to believe in marriage anymore. Yet, couples still
get married everyday. Some even stay married for the long haul. After all, as these
experts can attest: marriage can last.

The Veterans
Who says work romances are doomed? Williene Barlow Evans, 55, and Traywood Tray
Evans, 61, have been married for 27 years. The couple met in 1983 at Duke University
Medical Center, where they both still work today.
Tray and I didnt really get to know each other until
a few years after we met, said Williene. One day,
Williene ran into Tray at the movies. Coincidentally
there were seeing the same movie. After the movie,
he told Williene: Ill call you sometime.
Well, he called and the two have been together ever
since. I knew she was the one because every time I
was around her, I felt happier than I did before, said
Tray.
Though the couple has been together over a quarter
of a century and have two adult daughters, they still
go on dates. We love getting dressed up and going

out, said Tray. The couple loves going to see plays or movies and going out to eat. We
actually went on a date yesterday, said Williene.
Marriage...Its a continual thing. Its give and take, said Tray. He and Williene attribute
the success of their marriage to understanding each other. Tray is my husband and my
best friend, said Williene.
The couple offered the advice that the everyday gestures matter most. Its a smile every
time I see her. I believe she is the best thing in the world, said Tray.

The Steadfast
First love may not be as fleeting as the masses once imagined. High school sweethearts,
Elroy Allen, 38, and Colette Blair Allen, 35, have been married for 11 years. But, the
couple has been together for a total of 20 years now and has two young sons.
The couple grew up in the British Virgin Islands where a mutual friend introduced them.
I thought he was your typical good guy,
said Colette. While Elroy thought that
Colette was a sweet shy girl.
Yet, good first impressions do not make a
relationship last. You have to go beyond
yourself, be unselfish and flexible because
marriage is constantly changing, said
Colette.
The couple enjoys the simplicity of trying
new things together and traveling to new
places. Elroy believes that you have to be constant in your relationship everyday.
I love to be with my wife. No matter what changes she is always there, said Elroy.
In addition, the couple recommends for all couples hold realistic expectations of their
spouses. We can go from butterflies lovey dovey to I swear I hate you, said Colette.
But, the couple agrees that not only is that normal it is healthy. After all, they are human.

The Newlyweds
A vision in white seemingly floats down a rose petal covered aisle on the arm of her
father. This day has finally come. I am marrying my love, thought Sharica Kearney
Cozart, 28, as she walked down the aisle. Wow, shes beautiful, thought Quentin
Cozart, 26, as Sharica walked towards him.
The young couple got married a little over 4 months ago in a small ceremony of family
and friends. But, the newlyweds story started over 14 years ago when they both attended

a gospel program in Durham, NC. Quentin was initially shy and had his cousin approach
Sharica for him. He was so very nervous, said Sharica.
Yet, the two teenagers eventually met face to
face and exchanged numbers; although Quentin
thought Sharica gave him a fake number. So, it
came as quite a shock when Sharica called him
the very next day. I knew from the moment I
saw her that one day she was going to be my
wife, said Quentin.
But, the newlyweds understand that marriage is
not just about the wedding or the honeymoon.
Its all about communication and compromise;
being married is a team effort, said Sharica. Marriage should be a give and take. Mostly
take on the guys side, laughed Quentin.
However, for the newlyweds, marriage comes with plenty of good times. The couple
enjoys playing bass guitar, going out to eat and shop, and lounging at home
together. Were old people, joked Sharica. The couple is currently expecting their first
child in February.

The Expert Opinion

Former marriage counselor, Phil Miller, is used to working with marriages in crisis.
Miller worked as a marriage counselor for 13 years and has degrees in psychology and
social work. Miller currently works at Elon University where he teaches courses on
marriage.
In his work, Miller found one of the main reasons of marriage failure to be lack of effort.
Understanding and maintaining your friendship with your partner on a daily basis is key.
But, both parties have to be invested in the relationship, said Miller.

The Bottom Line

Marriage is not a trap and it can actually withstand the test of time. Though some married
couples may be considered stuck in the honeymoon stage, sometimes the honeymoon
stage never fades.