Aggressive

Passive

Assertive
Stands up for own rights but also
recognises rights of others.
Expresses own needs and
feelings.
Listens to others.

Behaviour

Stands up for own rights, but

ignores others.
Does not listen to others.

Ignores own rights and allows

others to dominate.
Does not state own feelings or
needs.

Implication

My feelings and needs are

important.
Your feelings and needs are not
important.

Your feelings and needs are

important.
My feelings and needs are not
important.

My feelings and needs are

important, but so are yours, so
perhaps we can come to a
solution where we are both
happy.

Reasons why
someone may act
this way

To manipulate others.
To demonstrate power.
Lack of confidence.
Afraid they will not get what they
want.
To get attention.

To avoid conflict.
Lack of confidence.
Fear of others reaction.
Think it is being polite.
Issue is not important.
Feel no personal risk.

Mutual respect.
Feel in control.
Positive self-esteem.
Honest to self and others.
Help achieve goals.

Low self-esteem.
Allows others in a relationship to
take control.
Feel hurt or frustrated.
Happy to allow another person to
make the decision.

Not liked for expressing own

feelings.
Changes to relationships.
Feel in control, although it does
not mean you will always get
what you want.
Positive relationships.
Positive self-esteem.

Risks / costs

Conflict.
Loss of respect of others.
Loss of self-respect.
Possible violence.
Stress.

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