AMPED

CORNER OF
COOLNESS
A collection of some of the
most random crap found
about the internet this month!
Send in you videos and photos to
Amped@carnage.com!
BITS AND BOBS FROM THE WORLD OF METAL
PICARD GOES RAMBO! Where to start with...
So... Thrash Metal your
thing? Argued endless hours
Search ‘Picard Vs Chunk’ at over whose better out of
Youtube.com Megadeth and Metallica?
Sit back and Travel around at night yelling
watch in amaze- obscenities at emo kids and
ment as Chunk extracting violence upon
from The Goonies them? Well if not then here is
deflects oncoming your ‘thrash metal survival
bullets via Cpt. Pi- guide’ of everything you need
card from Star Trek thanks to his to know about being a fully
‘Truffle Shuffle’. Made even funnier by fledged ‘metal head’ and af-
the inclusion of classic Rammstein
track ‘Feuer Frei. THRASH METAL terwards you can drink with
your buds and rock out to
some Slayyeerrr!!!
PIRACY RULZ! 1. The long hair! back into the metal fashion will protect you’re ever ac-
Type ‘lol limewire’ into Google
and click ‘I’m Feeling Lucky’ It’s the unwritten rule after Rob Halford deemed cused of being a bit ‘emo’.
which has now been writ- it acceptable for all red 4. SLAAAYYERRR!!!!!!
Guaranteed to ten. You must have long blooded males. When you shout this,
have fans from hair. Without long hair you 3. Beer good! No beer everyone in the pits will
both forms of can’t participate in some bad! understand you. It is the
piracy in good old fashioned head- The key to being a metal- mating call of all things
stitches, and banging. Without long hair head: you’ve got to drink thrash and must be
may even have you aren’t metal. beer; lots of it. Whether it’s shouted wisely. Some find
invented a new drunken sing along 2. Correct uniform: sitting about mourning during a Sunday roast to
anthem! Just remember “Do what You will be torn apart un- Dimebag Darrell or even shout it rather uplifting.
you want cuz a pirate is free!” less you get some torn driving to church you’ve 5. The Thrash War:

ZAC CHILD!
denim jeans and a denim
jacket patched to high
Search ‘Ozzy Blizzcore heaven with band patches.
2009’ at Youtube.com Even leather has creeped
got to crack open a cold Metallica Vs Megadeth: Go
one and drink! To other with Megadeth; gets other
metalheads this shows metalheads harder than a
your ‘awesomeness’ and biker’s helmet.

PHOTOS O
Now seriously,
how many kids
can grow up say- YOUR PHOTO F FAME
ing they played
S OF FAMO US PEEPS
OR JUST PICS
Crazy Train live OF EPIC WIN
!
on stage with THE
Ozzy Osbourne? Well 9 year old Yuto
Miyazawa can forever brag to his
mates, after this on stage display dur-
ing Ozzy’s 2009 Blizzcon tour.

PIRACY RULZ!
Type ‘Arnie rave’ into
Youtube.com
Watch good ol’
Governator Arnold
Schwarzenegger 1:
as you’ve never JOHN, 2 GARY, 2
0 ft.
BENCH
seen him before... DEA D ON A STE, 21 ft. BRENT
HINDS
busting out some SERJ TANKIAN
mean shapes using glow sticks!
 ULTIMATE BEAT DOWN...

BLURT IT OUT
YOUR MOANS, GRIPES, DEBATES
AND EVEN SOME COMICAL STORIES!
THE POSIBILLITY OF REASON
A few years ago me an my mate were skating around
Liverpool University and saw a tour bus parked around
the back. We decided to go over to it an find out who
was playing. As we got there we saw Jim LaMarca,
the bassist of Chimaira getting out of the tour bus. As
we didn't have tickets and were sure it would be sold
out we went over to speak to him. My mate said, "Hey
man, really sorry but is there any way you could get us
on the guest list, some knob head stole our tickets."
Jim then said, "If you can show me a good place to get
some food then definatly." We then walked down to
MacDonalds by central station. Later on we watched
Chimaira sound check, met the rest of the band and
got into the gig for free. Stampin Ground were sup-
portin and it was fuckin boss!
Mike Gallagher, 22
Via Facebook
HOORAY FOR BOOBIES
I went to see Steel Panther on their sold out
tour in Manchester and managed to get to the
barriers with a big gang of my mates, partic-
ualarly my best mate Mel. Prior to the gig be-
tween us we had Asian Hooker written on our
chests. The gig was absolutely amazing and
we got a shout out about half way through and
my other friends managed to get them to play
the YMCA! it was an epic night and by way of
an encore, they played a few Van Halen covers
and were shouting for girls to come up front
during ‘Jump’. All of a sudden a few of my
mates launched me over the barrier and I
somehow ended up on stage, where Jack
Daniels told me the best thing to do at that mo-
ment in time would be to get my boobs out! for-
getting momentarily just how many people
were stood infront of me. Good times and a
RNAGE
I remember this year I went to see Dragonforce play
in the Liverpool Academy when they played Through
The Fire and Flames and were joined on stage by all
of the support bands. Oddly enough one of the
bands were wearin just a sumo wrestling outfit but
the lead singers costume fell off and he was there on
stage naked in front of everyone! The stage smelt
like eggs later on after that...
Felix Leyland, 20
Via Email
THE END OF THONG-ACHE...
In December I went to the Taste Of Chaos tour with Killswitch Engage
and In Flames, before the show I got to meet KSE and they were
awesome! During the gig I wrote Adam D's (guitarist) on my chest
and during the 1st song he noticed and blew a kiss to me! Then later I
threw thongs on stage and Adam D put them on the end of his guitar.
P.s. They were NOT used!
Marissa Lowe, 19
Via Facebook
MISERY BUSINESS...
Me and a mate travelled from liverpool over to Manchester in 2008 to
go to the Apollo Theatre to see Paramore, and for no reason at all I
just started throwing up constantly for like an hour beforehand, having
to visit every other shop on the street to puke. We ended up getting
the wrong tram to the Apollo due to my confusion and ended up smack
bang in the middle of nowhere. We ended up getting a weirdo taxi I felt
like i was going to die. Unfortunately enough when we got there the
gig wasnt until the day after...
Nikki Ainsworth, 21
Via Facebook
ONE VERY RANDY FAN...
I went to see Lamb of God and met them all, and I nearly died. High-
light had to be getting someone to take a photo of me air humping
Randy Blythe before the gig. I managed to get to the barrier and as
soon as Lamb of God came on my sign saying 'Fly Randy Fly!' was in
the air. After a while he noticed it, and I threw my fairy wings at him
and he put them on whilst singing Hourglass. A while after that he
pointed at me and personally handed me a drumstick and blew me a
kiss! As well as Mark Morton remembering who I was whilst at barrier
and told me he brushed his teeth. Most amazing gig, EVER
Lesley Jaggar, 17
Via Email
Hi Carnage. I consider myself to be a hardcore music fan,
going to gigs whenever the oppurtunity rises. It is that

truly epic gig! A

C ROVED!
extreme that I happily wait outside venues as early as
the morning so that I have a good chance of getting to
Lisa Wood, 21
Via Email
APP the front, as well as meeting the bands beforehand. At
many of these gigs I have participated in numerous
shenanigans with my friends to pass the time. Two incidents
particularly stick out in my mind, as they happened the same
day. While waiting to see Devildriver in the Manchester Academy 2 in Novem-
ber 2009 to pass the time I decided to take photos of an action figure that I
had in my bag in several different locations such as bins, windows and even
on random people! It was then that me and a friend decided to sneak into a
church and attempt to take photos of the figure. Unfortunately after being
watched for several seconds after entering we made a hasty exit through the
revolving doors, which we broke and jammed after trying to exit at the same
time from both sides! We rejoined the Devildriver queue and within 10 min-
utes a police car mounted the curb and inspected the crowd before taking off
down the road. I also attempted to do a jumping ballet pose by a bus that had
a ‘Fame’ advert on the side only to hit the bus and do a diving roll. The looks
P.S. Here’s a photo of our ‘Asian Hooker’ on the passengers faces was priceless!
glory! Hunter G.N.C, 20
Got anything to say or any stories you’d
Via Facebook
love to share? Email blurtit@carnage.com!