Indian English

By Irma Walter

Whenever one is talking about English-

speaking countries, England, the USA,
Australia come to mind, Scotland,
Ireland and Wales are included and a
few others. But not many mention India
among the English-speaking countries.
Yet without the English language, the
many Indian peoples are not able to
communicate, perhaps not even form a
nation. While I am not entirely aware of
the statistics and the detailed history
and don't feel in any way entitled to make any general statements, let me tell you a bit
about the aspects of everyday encounters with the English-speaking nation India.

Crossed the Line © Irma Walter 1999 1

First Impressions Are the Right Ones
On my first flight there, I happened sit next to an Englishman around 45. He turned out
to be a photographer, who in his 20-year stay in India had acquired a reputation in his
field. (Later I did find a number of photos in various magazines credited to his name.)
Apprehensive about my initial confrontation with the country, I needled him with 101
questions, which must have sounded funny to him, or so I gathered from his amused
answers.
But the gentleman had the surprising habit
of falling into a melodic intonation and a
strange pronunciation, which must have
produced a concerned look on my face.
Was he alright??? At the sight of my
incredulous face, he snapped out of it
instantly and spoke beautiful British
English, only to return to his singsong a
few moments later. At the time I couldn't
believe that an intelligent person, (and
intelligent he was) could use this odd way of speaking to another intelligent person
(me, in that case) and although in his right mind, be so helpless against this
overpowering habit. I was to understand in the very first few days on the sub-
continent.

Crossed the Line © Irma Walter 1999 2

Do You Speak English?
Although English is used on most every sign, in papers and menus it is a fatal error to
assume that English is understood. Try ordering a dish in an ordinary restaurant,
outside of 5-star-hotels and you will find that vegetable is pronounced veggie-table
and when you want to make a call from a telephone, labelled as such T-E-L-E-P-H-O-N-
E (I can read, darn ya!) you must ask for the TALLIE-FOAN. The mind-block against
properly pronounced English is part of the Indian
nature, the reason being that the many English words in
their everyday language are usually written in Hindi
letters and syllables and have a tendency to produce
terms with a life of their own. If you are American, you
are doomed to be the most misunderstood person. You’ll
have to come up with all imaginable variations of a
word, producing sounds alien to your throat and
offensive to your mind in the hopes that something you
are saying will ring a bell somewhere. You are trying to
speak English, - - to no avail.

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India speaks beautiful English
The Indians themselves are convinced that they speak English the right way. An Italian
friend of mine wanted to extend his visa for another three months. He went down to
the office, stating his request and filling out the required application forms. Now, every
Indian official has a deep need to feel
"appreciated" and this need is often
expressed in various hindrances he puts into
the official path of politics, only to give you
his valuable advice of how to get around
them – value, which must be paid for, of
course.
My friend, Paolo, was short of funds and
couldn't afford to pay baksheesh so he used
his wit. The official asked him what he
wanted to stay another three months for;
perhaps starting a business, or smoking hashish or what? (In either case he would have
to have money on him.) Paolo replied, why, of course,he wanted to study the English
language, for wasn't it known all over the world that the best English is spoken in
India? Such gracious surrender to Indian superiority fully satisfied the Keralite's need
for appreciation and he gave the extension without taking a single rupiah.

Crossed the Line © Irma Walter 1999 4

The Indian Mind
After a short while in India I learned to use the same sing-sang the photographer had
acquired. The Hindi way of pronouncing English is easily achieved by Germans, as I am.
Everywhere I went, people commended me for my "excellent" English and I grinned
politely.
Only once have I encountered a mind-
block even more persistent: when I
went out with an American friend,
Steve. He had mastered Hindi to the
point where he couldn’t remember
which language the street signs he had
read were in: English or in Hindi.

Crossed the Line © Irma Walter 1999 5

He used to get annoyed with the dirty
little beggars approaching the vehicles
at the stoplights. Sitting in an open auto-
rickshaw you have no protection against
entreating little hands and miserable
eyes that come along with snotty noses,
rotting teeth and hungry bellies. So he
had set out to reform them. He picked a
one-rupee-coin from his pocket and held
it out to the child or the grown-up, but
insisted on a "thank-you" in return.
"Shukria bolo" he said, "say thank
you"and he proceeded to lecture in
Hindi on courtesy, until the lights turned green again and off we went. His efforts were
futile. Many a stunned beggar was left without a coin, simply because he did not
comprehend what my friend wanted. There was nothing wrong with Steve's Hindi, as
many educated Indians attested, but the fact of an American speaking Hindi did not
compute with simple minds. They could not fathom such a thing.

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Hinglish
I came out of India using such phrases as: "I am wanting to make a tallie-foan call." or:
"Using too much of sugar is not healt-hy." The "th" is pronounced exactly as that: "t-h"
and a "fully satisfied customer" may as well be written as "p-h-ully satisfied". I
remember the surprise when "kwality" produced a wiggly red line on the screen, (I
must have had too much kwality ice cream there in India) and my hands used to fly to
underline the emphasis of my intonation using motions like those of an Indian dancer.
By now I have come to think that it's a lovely way of expressing oneself, heart-felt and
highly skilled. So don't make fun of my English. It's not English, you say? -- Who
knows? -- After all, isn't the best English spoken in India?

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Crossed the Line © Irma Walter 1999 8