Contreras1

Vanessa Contreras
George McCollum
English 150
04 May 2016
Re-vision of Assignment Three Reflection
There were many changes made for the re-vision of assignment three. I started with the
introduction. The primary thing I focused on was the thesis statement. I changed the thesis from
It is important to know the history of Iowa State, how the Study Abroad Center connects with
Iowa States mission, and why one should make an effort to study abroad to As a student at
Iowa State, it is important to know its history including how it became a land-grant institution,
how the Study Abroad Centers vision and mission connects with Iowa States mission, and why
one should make an effort to study abroad to enhance their job opportunities in the future.
Adding detail to my thesis benefits allows for my audience to be more knowledgeable of the
subject and making the key points I will address more descriptive.
Next, I focused on including more information regarding the study abroad program at
Iowa State including its mission and vision and the mission of Iowa State University as a whole.
Inclusively, instead of quoting the Universitys vision and the mission of the Study Abroad
Center through text, I decided to simply incorporate images as a convenience for the audience
(Figures 1 and 2). Since they are both quite long pieces to read, I decided it would be easier to
analyze them if they were separate from my writing. Inclusively, I added more background
information on the school itself and the land-grant mission. I made sure to include as much detail
in my writing to ensure that the audience has a clear understanding of the purpose of my writing,
which is centered on studying abroad and the Study Abroad Center.

Contreras2
There were some deletions made from my writing as well. They were mostly of things
being reiterated too many times. I also moved around a lot of my sentences to form better
paragraphs. I even took some sentences from one paragraph to complete another or if I felt it
would sound better in a certain paragraph. Deleting and reorganizing some of the sentences
helped improve my writing by making it flow better and easier to understand.
As far as for the rest of my writing, which is mostly the background information for the
key points, I decided it did not require changes. I felt it was necessary to keep these parts since
they added important information for my audience. The text that I decided to keep is in black text
and all other changes made are in red text. For most of the re-vision of assignment three, there
were many changes made and various other ideas were incorporated.