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FIND YOUR

FREEDOM
(An e-introduction to the secrets of NLP)

by Clare Walker

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CONTENTS
STAGE
Introduction
Stage One: What is this, "NLP"?

PAGE
3
12
25

Stage Two: A world of your own


34
Stage Three: Getting what you want in life
Stage Four: Build Rapport

Available in
the full
version

Stage Five: Bring your senses to life


Stage Six: How to feel good
(States, anchoring and strategies)
Stage Seven: Meet your unconscious mind
Stage Eight: Metaphor magic
Stage Nine: Logical levels
Stage Ten: An introduction to beliefs
Stage Eleven: The art of modelling
Stage Twelve: Putting it all Together

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INTRODUCTION
Hi.
Thanks so much for downloading this course, and trusting me as your
teacher.
Before we begin, it might be helpful for you to know how and why I came
to believe so firmly in the power of the material that you're about to
discover. (In the full version of this course, you'll be able to click through
to an audio introduction here).
Five years ago
If you had met me five years ago, you'd probably have got the impression
that I was pretty miserable.
I was stuck in a job that I hatedRespectable and professional, yes, but
slowly killing the, "real me," all the same.
My surroundings were driving me nutsand worst of all, I was the
ultimate, "singleton".
"Us" and "them"?
I read self-help books, and even went on some courses, but nothing
seemed to change. Life, it seemed, was still composed of, "them" (who,
"had it all", apparently without effort) and, "us" (the rest of us, who,
"tried hard," but still felt as if dirty water was being continually splashed
in our faces).
The books were all very, well, but I doubted that I could take the risk of
being an optimist.I had been as a child, and had achieved quite a lot by
the age of 18, but after all, I was an adult now. Surely it was better to,
"play it safe", because after all, if you risk little and expect less, there's
no danger of disappointment.
And anyway, all those damn books that urge you to, "think positively,"
never actually told me how to achieve that worthy goal. So I began to
believe that happiness was not a, "realistic," aim for people like me.
In thinking like this, I was no different, and no worse off than 90% of
the population.
Clare Walker 2003. Email clare.walker@selfworks.co.uk or phone 00 44 (0)20
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But now, five years later, I find myself enjoying every day of my life.
I have a job that I love, (being a teacher and author) Click here to
verify this, and find out how my print book, "Socialising for Success"
can help you boost your confidence.
I like my surroundings.
I am in a wonderful relationship.
And, far from getting worse, life continues to improve.
Being introduced to NLP was the single most important factor that
helped me to bring about those changes for myself. (And most of these
changes, and the foundations of many more, took much less than five
years to happen).
I've also seen and heard this approach work for a wide range of other
people, from all walks of life, having had them as my fiends, colleagues, or
students at London's Mary Ward Centre, where I now teach NLP.
That's why I know that it can help you too, if you allow it to do so.
Above all, please have fun with this material, and know that my primary
concern, and that of the people working with me, is to give you the best,
most fruitful, and most enjoyable learning experience of your life.

All that said, come with me now, and begin to enjoy your life, and live it,
as you've meant to all along.
Very best wishes

Clare

Clare Walker 2003. Email clare.walker@selfworks.co.uk or phone 00 44 (0)20


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AGREEMENTS
Like any product, using, "Find your Freedom," makes you part of a legal
agreement.
But they are designed to fit the unique nature of the course, and in
themselves to help you to begin to take responsibility for change in your
own life. Therefore, we recommend that you read them.

FIND YOUR FREEDOM (FREE VERSION) AGREEMENT


You remain responsible for yourself and your actions
I've made every effort to ensure the accuracy of this work, and its
effectiveness for a wide range of individuals. However, use and practice
of this material remains your responsibility at all times. This includes your
responsibility to seek whatever professional guidance is appropriate to
your unique situation.
In the same way, neither I nor any website controlled by or affiliated to
me can be held responsible for:
- any actions by any third parties referred to in the course of the book,
or involved in the supply of the book to you, nor
- for any mechanical or electronic breakdown or failure of any kind
relating to this book,
however any of these actions, failures or breakdowns may be caused.
E-support
Your download of this book does not entitle you to free coaching as you
work through the material(which you will get if you upgrade to the full
version).
However, if you have any technical difficulties or general queries, we'll do
our best to answer them, although we may not always be able to reply
quickly.
The results you get are up to you
Whilst NLP has transformed many lives, the effect you get from, "Find
Your Freedom, NLP generally, and any coaching or e-support depends upon
you, and your willingness and ability to make changes in your life. If you
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purchase the full version, we vow to give you the very best e-NLP support
we can, but we cannot make promises about your success, as this remains
in your hands.
This course is for general information only
Neither I, Clare Walker, nor anyone else involved with the website can be
in any way responsible for any consequences arising from your reading or
using this book. In particular, its purpose is to provide general
information only, and is not meant to stand in the place of any kind of
therapy or counselling.
The course can be used at the same time as counselling or therapy, but
please tell your counsellor, therapist, doctor or other practitioner about
the course if you are having any kind of therapy, counselling or treatment
whilst taking this course.
This course is designed to be a springboard to greater personal
happiness. Whilst you may wish to share any general insights you gain
from it with friends or family, taking this course without more, in no way
qualifies you to undertake any kind of therapy or developmental work
upon another person. Concentrate instead upon using this course to bring
about improvements in your own life, and lead others by example.
Take an NLP Practitioner Training
What's more, no part of this course is a substitute for the enjoyment
and value you'd gain from actually taking a "live" course and becoming a
qualified NLP Practitioner and/or Master Practitioner. Course details can
be found within the full version of the course itself.
Dispute Resolution
Finally, in the very unlikely event of any disputes arising in relation to this
book, by buying it, you agree:
- That all matters relating to it are governed by the law of England and
Wales, and
- That any disputes be subject first of all to an independent mediation
process.

Copyright notices
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Please help us to continue to provide low-cost personal development to


more people, by respecting the copyright in this work.
If you want to distribute or sell it to others, in any form, or use the
contents in a training programme, please email me, and enquire about our
value-for-money deals for trainers and entrepreneurs, and the ways in
which you will be able to help others, and earn money, as a reseller. Many
thanks.
"Find Your Freedom" is Clare Walker 2002, 2003 Most artwork
provided under licence by www.arttoday.com, the rest is Clare Walker
2002, unless otherwise stated. All sounds in the full version by
www.partnersinrhyme.com, save the verbal soundtracks, which are is
Clare Walker 2002.

PRACTICALITIES
Just before we begin, here's some practical ideas to bear in mind about
how to get the very most from this course.

***********************

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USING
THIS E-BOOK
Visit
http://www.onlinenlp.com/nlp_course.html
to upgrade to the full version
(If you're already familiar with e-books made using Adobe,
please feel free to skip this text box).

If you're reading this, it means that you've actually done the


most difficult task relating to this e-book, and have downloaded it successfully.
In essence, the book works like a conventional web-page and
word processing document in one. The key points are:
The cursor, which is the, "hand", you'll see on the screen,
but otherwise operates like a normal cursor (the, "arrow" in
a word-processing document)
The arrows at the bottom of each page, which enable you to
move forwards and backwards through the book, and
The links. If words are underlined in red, clicking on the link
will take you to another part of the book. If they are
underlined in blue, clicking on that link will take you to a
resource somewhere on the Web.

****
****
****
****
****
***

THE STRUCTURE OF THE COURSE


This section is the Introduction.
After it, the full course is divided into 12 sections, the last of which will
allow you to put together all that you'll have learnt from the course.
This version of the course gives you access to the text of the first three
stages.
In each of the main sections you'll find:

A brief "overview" of the topic.


A more detailed explanation, including any relevant links.
Practical activities that you can carry out by yourself.
Suggested NLP activities involving observing or listening to other
people. (If your circumstances make these difficult then you'll still
pick up all the NLP you need without them, they just make learning a
bit quicker. Alternatives involving TV, radio and films are also given.

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Audio clips. In the full version only .(These are specifically designed
to run on virtually any kind of playback software. In all likelihood,
you've already got the software you need, but just in case you need
it, Windows MediaPlayer is available for free, by clicking here.)
An example of how the points being explained might play out in real
life for a , "real" person, "Bloggs," (who is mysteriously the same as
John or Jane Doe, if you're reading this in the US).
"What if"discussions. (Remember that if you purchase the full
version, you can also join the discussion list to take these further).
Suggested activities to help you integrate NLP into your everyday life,
in-between completion of each stage.
Suggested points at which you might like to keep a journal, as it'll
really help you to track your own progress (remember that a journal
can be pictorial or speech-based, and needn't involve a lot of work).
Links to further resources. (Keep calmif you just stick with this
course, you will learn all the key points you need to. It's just that I'm
so often asked how people can take things even further, that it helps
us both if I increase your options by mentioning extra resources in
context).
"Discussion Points" to help you track your own understanding.
In addition, you'll find that:
1) Certain terms within the text are emboldened. These words are
specific pieces of NLP jargon. They have been kept to a minimum, and
are all explained in the text as they occur and in the glossary.
Remember, it isn't the jargon which matters, it's the practical
application of techniques that counts.
2) Certain points have been placed in boxes, like this one. That means
that it's a key concept in the NLP, "model of the world," or in relation
to this course in particular.

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6) Occasionally, you will also find a phrase in italics. These are NLP
Presuppositions, (ie phrases which, when acted upon allow you to
incorporate the positive, curious spirit into your life). An example would
be that "You cannot not communicate" (the idea that our every action
conveys a message to others, whether we are conscious of this or not).

***********************
FINALLY

You can also repeat sections as much as you like-that's the great thing
about an e-course.
There are no time-limits and no obligation to carry out any part of the
course which does not appeal to you.
On the other hand, the more you put into the course, the more you will
get out of it.
There's certainly no obligation at all to get in touch with me, unless you
want to, (or unless you have completed the full version of the course need
or want a certificate to say that you've completed this introductory
course.)
At the end of the day, my only suggested ground rules are that:
You approach each of the main sections in separate chunks, with some
time to practise the ideas between each chunk. It isn't my job to tell
you how long those chunks, or the interval between them, should be,
as you know yourself best, but you WILL get more from this course if
you make a pact with yourself actually to DO some or all of the
activities suggested.
That you allow yourself to approach this course with an attitude of
curiosity, light-heartedness, and funthe true hallmarks of NLPers.

If you would like a certificate confirming that you have completed an


introduction to NLP, please e-mail me at the end of the full version of
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the courseand in return for my receiving your own assessment of


your progress, you'll get a certificate by e-mail saying that you
completed this course. (It does not qualify you in any way as an NLP
Practitioner or Master Practitioner, but I know that some people like
or need certificates).
One of the ultimate goals of NLP is to be the best and happiest that
you personally can and want to be. Therefore, if something feels
uncomfortable for you, at any time, stop doing it. Equally, if you like
something and it makes you feel more whole (or, in NLP-speak,
congruent) do more of it.
Get comfortable with confusion. Confusion is a really encouraging
state to be inIt's the gateway to all learning, so if you feel confused,
it means you've already started learning.
If you learn well by writing things down, one option is to keep a journal
of your progress. However, a journal doesn't have to be written. You
could choose to keep it via pasted pictures, creative art or craft-work,
collage, music, or on tape. And of course, you can choose NOT to keep
one.
Have a notebook or open word-processing document with you as you
work through the course, so that you can jot down any points that
occur to you as you're going along.
Allow yourself to have fun as you learnRemember one of the most
important NLP Presuppositions is "There is no such thing as failure,
only feedback". Given that this course will be unlike any other you have
ever attended, it makes sense to try out a different and more lighthearted learning approach to match, doesn't it?

So let's get started on the, "real course"!

***********************

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STAGE ONE: WHAT IS THIS, "NLP?"


[Link to an audio introduction available here in full version]

OVERVIEW
NLP is an umbrella term for a collection of ideas often known as, "the
psychology of excellence".
NLP helps us to understand and map our own individual state of mind
at any given time, and those of other people.
A key NLP skill is to home in on "Yes," rather than, "No".

***********************
MAIN DESCRIPTION
NLP stands for Neuro-Linguistic Programming. It is ironic that a subject
which is all about ease should have ended up with a name that is such a
mouthful. However, an understanding of the context in which it came to
be discovered will make the term easier to understand.
NLP was devised in the early 1970's in California. It is an umbrella term,
covering all kinds of thinking pattern (or "models"). The common link
between each of these patterns is that, when used in a particular way,
they help people to increase their happiness, communication skills,
effectiveness, productivity and sense of personal freedom many, many
times over.
Whilst many different people stumbled across one or more of these
patterns before the 1970s, Richard Bandler and John Grinder were the
first people to realise that isolating and using these patterns of
excellence was a study in its own right. They were also the first people to
use the term, NLP.

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How did they discover these patterns?


Bandler and Grinder attended lectures and demonstrations by many who
were eminent in their fields, particularly the anthropologist Gregory
Bateson, hypnotherapist Milton Erickson, and the originator of family
therapy, Virginia Satir.
Key differences
What Bandler and Grinder noticed was that these people exhibited
certain common patterns in their speech and way of thinking. When they
studied others who had not yet achieved that degree of fame or skill,
they recorded that these patterns were either not present, or distorted
in some way.
When this second group of people were taught the techniques observed in
the highest achievers, they too became high achievers in their own right.
Bandler and Grinder realised that they had discovered something
important, and set about coining a name for the collection of techniques
which they had isolated.
Bandler and Grinder are still key figures in NLP and related fields today.
Their websites include:
http://www.richardbandler.com/ and
http://www.quantum-leap.com/

***********************
THE ORIGINAL DEFINITION OF NLP
As Bandler and Grinder's work was a collection of strategies and ideas,
(sometimes called, "models") naming them proved a challenge. The name
which they chose reflected their original backgrounds in linguistics and
science and accurately described the issues at the heart of their
techniques
NEURO meaning "of the brain and nervous system";
LINGUISTIC meaning "related to language"; and
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PROGRAMMING to emphasise the fact that the sequencing of


behaviour and techniques was as important as the techniques
themselves.

However, different and more user-friendly definitions have developed


since then, including:

The Psychology of Excellence


The Psychology of Achievement
"If it works, its NLP"
An attitude of curiosity, positivity and excitement.
The study of subjective experience (ie the internal world of each
individual).

It's the last three definitions that we will be referring to most often on
this course.

***********************

FURTHER DEVELOPMENTS IN NLP


Since Grinder and Bandler developed the field, many others have added
to the list of, "patterns of excellence", including Robert Dilts, Judith
Delozier, Steve and Connirae Andreas, Tim Hallbom, Suzy Smith, Tad
James, Michael Hall, all the members of NLP Comprehensive, John
Overdurf, Julie Silverthorn, and many, many more.
Even more exciting are the areas in which NLP has been applied, from
education to health, business, banking and diplomacy, and many more
besides.
One of the most famous early discoveries was the, "spelling strategy",
which enabled previously poor spellers to achieve top marks, just by
adopting the strategies of their colleagues who were naturally, "good
spellers."

***********************
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GLOSSARY
Like any field, NLP has developed some jargon terms along the way, so
being aware of them is part of your overall NLP experience.
But please concentrate on DOING, NLP rather than knowing fancy
wordsit's much more important to be able to create effective changes
than to reel off lists of terms!
Having said that, this basic glossary will be useful to refer to occasionally
throughout the course.
Term

Definition

Anchors

Specific sights, sounds, smells,


tastes, sensations or combinations
of these, which trigger a particular
emotion or other state;

Auditory

Relating to hearing and sound,


whether internal or external;

Baseline state

The internal emotional and


physiological condition or state to
which you naturally return if you
make no conscious effort to change

Behavioural flexibility

Being happy or comfortable to act


in a different way to your habitual
pattern;

Congruence

Acting from a state of wholeness,


free from internal conflict;

Kinaesthetic or "K"

Of touch, feeling or sensation, both


internal and external;

Logical levels

One of the NLP frameworks for

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analysing entities in-depth;


Meta-mirror

A technique allowing you to


experience a situation from three
or more different perceptual
positions;

Modality

Any one of the five senses;

Modelling ("Modeling" in the US)

The process of discerning and


replicating a strategy or behaviour
displayed by someone else;

NLP

Neuro-Linguistic Programming;

NLP Presuppositions

Phrases which, when acted upon


allow you to incorporate the
positive, curious spirit into your
life;

Olfactory, (or, "O")

Relating to smell;

Reframing

Repeating back a person's


perceived meaning, but with a
slightly different, expanded and
more positive emphasis;

Representational Systems, or
"Rep. Systems"

Modes of thinking and perception


linked to the five senses;

State

Any emotional feeling, including its


effects upon your senses,
perception and physiology;

Subjective experience

The internal world of each


individual;

Timeline

An individual's personal

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arrangement and perception of


time;
Well-formed outcome

A famous NLP goal-setting process.

YOUR FIRST NLP PATTERN


But the easiest way to understand NLP, and therefore to freeing your
mind. is to dive straight in.
ACTIVITY
Whatever you do next, please do NOT think of a blue circle.
Now click through to the next page

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Chances are that the first thing you thought of was

a blue circle.

And thats OK, because your brain is naturally wired to focus on what
exists, rather than what doesn't.
To put it another way, in the sentence:
"Don't think of a blue circle,"
your brain must conjure up some thought relating to a blue circle before
it clears it away, even though it may manage to clear away the circle very
quickly.
(If by any chance you were thinking something different, then that's
positive too, as you've clearly already got a habit of deliberately
independent thinking that's a great starting point in NLP).

***********************
What's the impact of all this?

As well as being your natural way of thinking(yes, honestlywatch small


children if you need proof of this) concentrating on things that you want,
or which definitely exist, brings those factors closer, by making them
clearer. (If I say, "I'm thinking about a fruit, but it's not a banana, an
apple or a peach, " this is much less efficient than saying "I'm thinking
about an orange.")
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In short, use words like "Yes," "Can," "Do" and, "Is" rather than,"No",
"Can't," "Don't" and,"Isn't" to be at your most effective.
And so, all those self-help books that ask you to, "Think Positively!" Are
on the right trackbut it all makes more sense, and seems more
believable, once you know why.

EXTENSION:
If you want to take all these ideas even further, positive phrasing can go
a whole lot further than merely removing negative words. If you're aiming
for maximum impact, challenge yourself to remove, "wishy-washy" words
such as:
"Quite"
"Rather," and
"Try to"
as well as any others that you feel weaken the strength of your words.
(Although of course, if you are unsure about anything, keep them
infinding freedom is about dealing with things as they are, rather than
some , "perfect," cloud-cuckoo land!)

*************

THOUGHTS ATTRACT THOUGHTS

ACTIVITY
Think for just a few moments about something you enjoy.
Then click through to the next page.

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Did you notice how, by concentrating upon the thought, it became bigger
and bigger?
The strength of any thought increases the more attention you place upon
it. So you have a choice as to whether you create upward spirals

Or downward ones.

If upward spirals are already second nature to you greatgo straight


down to the activities.
But if actually doing this is a newer idea for you, take heart.

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Concentrating upon thoughts that are positive for you becomes second
nature once you've done it for a very short timethen you'll wonder how
you ever managed without it.

******************

BLOGGS' EXAMPLE
Bloggs desperately wants to try out these new ideas, but is put off by the
thought that other people might think him/her too idealistic.
Firstly, what would your response be to his concerns?

I'd invite him to consider these points:


1) The contents of your head are your business, and yours alone.
2) You've already tried it the other wayand you want to be happy this
time, don't you?
3) Just because, "the majority" of people think depressing thoughts, or
watch depressing TV doesn't mean you have to do the same, or that they
are, "right"or, "wrong,"(But it may well mean that they are preventing
themselves from being as positive as might otherwise be the case).
4) Your only direct responsibility, and the only place where you can ensure
change, is your own mind.

********************************
MAKING IT HAPPEN IN YOUR EVERYDAY LIFE
The purpose of these, "Making it Happen," sections is to enable you to put
the ideas you learn at each stage into practice in, "real life".
Each of these sections includes discussion points. These will help you to
understand how NLP might be applied in typical situations to help people
free their mind.
No part of this course, whether a discussion section or not, can possibly
give you definite answersNLP is about your own thoughts, which are
unique to you.

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Having said all this, here are some guidelines to help you start to get
more out of life, every day.
1.

Be aware of how many times in the day you say (either to yourself,
or another person) something which is negatively rather than
positively phrased. Eg. "I don't want another boring day!," rather
than, "I want an interesting day!"

2.

Once you're used to being aware of your phrasing, practise


phrasing your words so that the real intention shines through,
rather than being hidden by more negative words.

3.

Before going to sleep each night, think of 5 GOOD things that


happened to you during the day. They can be tiny (eg."The sun was
shining,") but they must be positive for you, and there must be at
least 5 of them. Doing this before you go to sleep will also help you
to, "program," yourself towards having an uplifting day when you
wake up.

4.

Become aware of the things you're dwelling upon. If you find that
they depress you, consciously move your thoughts to a happier
topic, and be aware of the difference in how you feel.

5.

Start to keep a journal or other record of your experiences. Short


entries are fine-the important thing is to make yourself more
aware of how you're thinking, rather than what you think.

6.

If you need some practice in approaching life from this new


perspective, get the film, "It's a Wonderful Life," definitely the
oldest recommendation in this course, but a classic, and enjoyable
way of learning a lighter approach.

7.

The full version of this course will introduce you thoroughly to NLP.
But if you're one of those people that just loves the feeling of
reading an actual book as well, click here for details about Joseph
O'Connor's "NLP Workbook"

DISCUSSION POINT
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You find that you are always saying, "I feel awfulI can't stop thinking
about".
How might your knowledge from this stage of the course help you?
Click to the next page for some ideas.

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SOME IDEAS
Change your thoughts
As thoughts attract thoughts, your first and most obvious course of
action is to think about something else.
Many people resist this: it seems too simple.
But in fact, at first, you may need to change the direction of your
thoughts several times in a day, or even an hour.
If you start to do this, be aware of the times when it works, and let
everything else go. In other words, if you must resist something, resist
the temptation to beat yourself up for any time at which you are lessthan-perfect. This is a new idea, it'll take a little time to get used to it!
Head in the sand?
Some people feel that to take this approach is like burying their head in
the sand, or running away from the problem.
In fact, by doing this, you are more likely to resolve any difficulties
because:
1)
Thinking about something else ensures that the thought stops
growing, and therefore is more manageable.
2)
It takes the pressure off your mind, and helps the more creative
parts of it to be free to come up with new ideas and solutions.
However, if you still feel that extra worry is your, "early warning
system," then, at the first sign of it, acknowledge it, thank the feeling
for alerting you, and then set your mind to finding a solution that you
want.

*******************************

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STAGE TWO: "IN A WORLD OF YOUR OWN"


Q. How many Worlds are there in our solar system?
A. Arguably, six billion (or, one for every person on the planet).

NLP is far more concerned with how people think rather than what they
think.
This stage's activities will help you begin to explore your internal world,
and that of other people.
NLP concentrates on the idea that we build our impression of the world
using our five senses. These impressions are also created to give us our
own version, or memory of past events, and our projections about that
which might happen in the future.
So, by being aware of the way in which you are using your senses to,
"build", your world, you can, if you choose, change your perception of,
"reality".
Many people these days are already in touch with their internal world as
never before, through such processes as meditation and psychotherapy.
Why then, can an understanding of how the internal world is constructed
rather than that which it contains, be of any use? Here are just some of
the reasons:
The "internal world" metaphor provides another central reference
point, via which the whole of the original NLP strategy collection can
be understood.
If you know how rather than just what you think, you will be better
able to control your thoughts so that they serve you well, rather than
being, "your own worst enemy".

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If you are aware of your own thought structures, it is easier to


become aware of those of others and thereby to promote harmony.

Collectively, our thought processes form a mental map through which we


orientate ourselves in the world, but which do not necessarily reflect
either the true "lie of the land", or the experience of any other person.

A SUBJECTIVE EXPERIENCE
You might find it easier to work through the next activity by listening to
the audio version, (which is available in the full version of the course).
ACTIVITY
Close your eyes.
1. Think of an everyday experience, such as travelling to work, or going
shopping. Bring the experience to mind as vividly as you can. If you are
doing this exercise in a pair, choose similar experiences to recollect.
2. Now, remove each of your five senses from the memory, one by one.
So, please remove any element of the memory relating to:
sight,
touch (including both internal and external sensations)
hearing-including any internal conversations you may be having with
yourself smell and;
taste)
3. Be aware of what, if anything, remains.
4. Restore your internal world to its former glory, sense by sense. Note
whether the restoration of a particular sense does more to
reconstruct the memory than the others.
5. Congratulations! You've just become consciously aware of your inner
experience.
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6. If you're working through this course with anyone else, compare notes
on the experience with your partner, and be aware of the differences.
If you're doing the activity by yourself, check out whether the same
senses are key for you as you take apart and put back together a
different experience or memory.

********************************
EXTENSION:
1. Bring the experience from the last exercise back into your mind. Be
aware of whether you are:
A) actually in the experience, or
B) looking at the experience as an outside observer.
2. If you are looking at the event, try experiencing it. What difference
does this make to the way you feel about the event?
3. If you were experiencing the event, what is it like to be an observer?
What difference does it make to your feelings?
In NLP, you are said to be associated if you feel that you are
experiencing an event directly as you recall or project it.
If you are remote from it as it plays through your mind, you are said to
be dissociated.

**************
And all of this is relevant because
Our feelings about the world around us change according to the way in
which we represent that world to ourselves in our minds.
Now that we know how those thoughts are put together, it's much easier
to know how to change them, in order to get an effect which leaves you
feeling more positive.

BLOGGS' EXAMPLE
Let's look at a practical example of this with our friend, Bloggs, who is
thinking about meeting the new boss. (In the full version, you'll be able to
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click here to download a Flash demo that'll give you a peep into Bloggs'
mind).
(If by any chance this isn't working on your machine, you'll need to
download the free Flash player here. If you have difficulty accessing the
clip for any other reason, please click to the next page, for a written
summary.)

BLOGGS' REACTIONS
As you'll probably have noticed from the clip, it wasn't the idea of the
new boss that Bloggs found scary, but Bloggs' own interpretation of the
boss as looming and laughing at him that put him off.
If he'd thought of the boss as a cute gingerbread person, whatever the
truth of the matter, he'd have spent the weeks prior to meeting the boss
in a much happier state.

ACTIVITY
1. Think back to an experience that causes you some mild discomfort, say
embarrassment.
2. Consciously alter the sights, sounds, feelings, sensations, tastes and
smells that make up the memory. For instance, you might want to:
Put more colour, or light into the picture, or remove any overbrightness.
Add an uplifting soundtrack, or take away any, "nagging voices" in an
existing one.
Change any tense or tight sensations in your body into warm, relaxed
ones, or even
Be aware of the incident from a distance (dissociation) instead of
feeling directly involved in it.
3. Be aware of the changes you need to make in order to live with the
memory more comfortable, then notice how your whole take on the
incident changes.
4. Finally, whizz forward ion your mind to a point in the future where the
memory might have been a problem for you. Be aware of how you think
you'll tackle that event now. (And know that you can repeat this
activity as often as you need to in order to feel as good as possible.)
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(An audio version of this activity is available in the full course)

A MORE CONCRETE EXAMPLE


Our personal, "map of the world," can be shaped by our external
circumstances, as well as our thoughts, hopes and fears.
If you click here, you'll see a map of the London Underground system, as
it's normally used and perceived. (Be patient, as the graphics take a little
while to load.)
As you study this map, please marvel at the complexity of the system, the
amount of choice it offers passengers, and the sheer number of stations
it serves.
Now, click here. (And again, please be patient).
This map shows the Underground as it is experienced by people with
disabilities. Be especially aware of how few stations are wheelchairaccessible.
By contrasting the different maps held by the ordinary passenger and
wheelchair users, you can actually feel for yourself how different
people's ideas about the same situation can differ in a big way.

GOING GLOBAL
Of course, not all, "maps" are as physical as that of the London
Underground!
Most, "maps" can't be seen, touched or felt, and are instead a collection
of powerful ideas, attitudes and beliefs.
What's more, a single , "map", can be shared by more than one person.

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That's how mass movements, religions and political alliances beginA set
of shared ideas (the map) provides a common bond. This is absolutely
natural, but problems can occur when other parties (or countries)
disagree with those ideas (ie, they have a different, "map").

"THE MAP IS NOT THE TERRITORY"


The Flash clip, the Underground maps, and the differing ideas of political
and other leaders, are examples of the NLP Presupposition that "The
map is not the territory".
Put another way, this means that we don't act upon things as they
actually are, but rather, the way in which they present themselves to us
personally. The trick is to distinguish between our own ideas of, "reality,"
other people's contrasting ones.
"Just the way it is?"
Once we have established our very own internal world, it's tempting to
assume that "That's just the way it is" for everyone.
For instance, if you grow up in a household where everyone is particularly
careful with money, you may well decide that such care applies
everywhere, and so be perplexed in later life by a partner who spends
more. That partner meanwhile, may simply consider themselves "generous"
and you "tight with money".
In each case, the actual "territory" (ie. money) remains the same, but the
two "maps" are on a collision course.
Have a go at as many of the activities below as you can, as they'll all help
you to get used to thinking about how your internal world works, and how
it differs from the, "worlds", of those around you.

MAKING IT HAPPEN IN YOUR EVERYDAY LIFE


1. At various points during the week, take a few seconds to "check in"
with yourself. Assess not only what you are feeling, but how you are
feeling it, sense by sense. Be as specific as you can in relation to each

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sense. Eg instead of just saying, "I feel relaxed", you might "have a
warm feeling in my stomach."
2. A crucial question in NLP is "What do you want?" Start thinking this
week about a specific issue which you'd like to resolve, or move
towards resolving, during the course. Don't worry if it seems farfetched. Just think about what you'd really, really, like to achieve, if
you could. This will prepare you for the next stage.
3. As in the last stage, keep listing in your mind at least 5 GOOD things
that happened to you during that day (remember, they needn't be big,
but they must be positive).
4. The NLP Presupposition for this stage is, "The map is not the
territory". As you apply this in your life over the next few days, (a
week is ideal) be aware of how it changes your attitude to the world
around you.
5. Go back over as many memories as you can, and be aware of how they
are put together for you, sense by sense.
6. Who said that activities on a course had to be dull? For a mindexpanding take on, "different worlds", watch or re-watch any episode
of Ally McBealwhich specialises in showing the characters' internal
worlds on film, instead.

********************
DISCUSSION POINTS:
How could the things you've learnt in this stage be used:
To help you to get on with a, "difficult" relative?
To assist politicians and leaders in building a more peaceful world?
To help someone who is nervous about presentations or exams, which
they say they always, "mess up"?
As ever, there are no, "right," answers to these questions.

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You'll find personal ideas about some NLP-based approaches on the next
page.

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SOME IDEAS
In many ways, the concept of, "maps," and internal worlds can be applied
identically whether you're talking about a, "difficult", relative or a
disagreement between nationsthe only difference is the number of
people involved.
In both cases, the person seeking to forge a resolution needs to accept
the other person (or country's) world-view, completely without
judgement.
This is not at all the same thing as agreeing with it! It's just that by
respecting the other person's right to have a different, "internal world",
you will automatically build bridges, because that person will sense that
you are honouring their right to have their own stancewhether he or she
is one of your in-laws, or a world leader!

*****************************

If someone is nervous about exams or presentations (or anything else,


for that matter), a useful trick is to find out how they are representing
the thought of the event to themselves in their mind. Eg. the audience or
examiner may appear to, "loom", over them, or be hostile. If the person
can represent them in a less threatening way, they may then enjoy the
event more.

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STAGE THREE: GETTING WHAT YOU WANT IN


LIFE
"What do you want?" is such a simple question. Yet it rarely gets asked.
Often, people are afraid to ask for what they really, want, thinking that
they are somehow "tempting fate" and would be better off doing what
someone else wants instead.
Often too, we can spend large chunks of our lives thinking that we are
doing what we want to doonly to discover that we're really carrying out
something that isn't really our heart's desire, but something which our
partner, boss or family wants instead.
Yet living the life that you want to is a key part of freeing your mind.

BUT WHAT IF YOU HAVE RESPONSIBILITIES TO OTHERS?


Now you may be thinking, "This is all very well. But what if I want to go
off canoeing for six weeks? Do I just up sticks and leave my family?"
Please rest assured: this stage is not a prescription for making your life
fall apart. Of course we all have responsibilities and commitments that
need to be honoured.
However, thinking about this example, someone who wanted to go canoeing
but had a family might still, for example, be able to organise an outwardbound family holiday.
The purpose of this stage is simply to help you get clear about what you
want. Once you know this, it'll be easier to move forward and find more
creative ways to satisfy everyone's aims and desires.

********************

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CREATE YOUR OWN WELL-FORMED OUTCOME

The Well-Formed outcome is a famous NLP process.


It's role is to help you check that you really want are the things for
which you are aiming, and to help you weed out goals which have been
foisted onto you by family, friends or colleagues.
It can also be done by groups of people, so is ideal for business and
organisational goal-setting as well.
The easiest way to learn this is by applying the process step-by-step,
with explanations at each stage. As ever though, making it a part of your
life, rather than thinking of it as, "just a process," tends to yield the
best results.
First of all, for those of you who like an overview, here's the whole wellformed outcome process.
1. Think about the outcome that you want in relation to a particular
issue.
2. Then, check that your outcome is stated in the positive. The
example given above is stated in the positive. For if you had said I
don't want to procrastinate", this would not be an outcome stated in
the positive, but "I want to begin all tasks easily and confidently"
would.
3. Assess how you will know when you have achieved the outcome, ie
What will you see yourself or others doing?
What will people be saying/what else might you be hearing (eg
laughter)?
What will you/the people around be feeling when the outcome is
achieved?
What would an outside observer see and hear once you have achieved
this outcome?
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4. Can you start and maintain this outcome?


5. Ask yourself, what do you gain at present from not achieving this
outcome? (This is the crux of the whole technique, and reflects the
NLP presupposition the "Every behaviour has a positive intention").
6. Think of all the ways in which you can make these current gains a part
of the new outcome too. Eg, sometimes people find that one of the
"pay-offs" of being unwell is that they are nurtured by others for the
first time. Their challenge is then to set the goal of becoming healthy,
yet still receiving appropriate nurturing.

7. NB. Remember, if you get stuck at any point in the exercise, that's
positiveit means that you are making sure that the goal REALLY is
right for you. If at any stage you find that the outcome won't work as
it is, go back to an earlier stage in the processeven to the beginning
if necessary. This process is designed to leave you only with the
outcomes you really want.

Now let's also go through the process step-by-step.

1. Stating what it is that you want.


At this stage, let your imagination run riotany concern about that which
is realistic, (whatever that actually means in your, "map of the world-see
Step Two-) will automatically be covered in later parts of the process.
BLOGGS' EXAMPLE
Ms Bloggs and Mr Bloggs have opposite issues here:
Ms Bloggs has so many options from which she can choose that she cannot
pick which one to tackle first.
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The solution for her is to go through her outcomes one by one, starting
with the outcome which feels right for her. (She can then repeat the
process as many times as she needs to do so.)
Mr Bloggs' entire problem, he feels, is that he can, "never decide what it
is that I even might want."
In this case, his outcome might be," To know what it is that I want[to do]
next in my life".
If these examples apply to you to, take heart, as nearly all of us tend to
veer towards one or other of these positions.
2. Phrase it in a way that's positive for you
You've already had some practice at phrasing that feels positive for you,
in Step One. So draw upon this and give what you want the most powerful
expression that you can.
Eg. Instead of saying, "I want to try to get a new job,"
Why not say, "I want to get a new job"
And just to recap, the reason for this positive phrasing isYep, as in
Stage One, that your brain is designed to think most efficiently about
what it wants, rather than that which it doesn't want.
Having said that, different people still have individual preferences about
what they consider to feel most positive.
For instance, I like to put "want" in my phrases, because it feels powerful,
and works for me.
Other people associate, "want" with, "lack" and therefore it has the
opposite effect for them.
3. Assess how you will know when you have achieved the outcome, ie
What will you see yourself or others doing?
What will people be saying/what else might you be hearing (eg
laughter)?
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What will you/the people around be feeling when the outcome is


achieved?
What would an outside observer see and hear once you have achieved
this outcome?
What's the logic behind this section?
There are two main reasons for it:
First of all, you'll know when you've actually achieved this outcome.
Because you may have a goal such as , "To be more confident".
That's great-and very positive.
The trouble is, confidence means different things to different people. So
at some point in the future, you might be displaying all sorts of signs
which might indicate confidence, but not realise it, because you hadn't
specified them.
Taking the goal of confidence as an example, you might decide that when
you:
Are smiling at new people,
Have a warm relaxed feeling in your body, and
Hear friends complimenting you on your new relaxed manner at
parties,
you'll know that you're, "confident".
Secondly the principles of cybernetics (that is, using our internal wiring
for success) suggest that if we can see, hear and feel ourselves
experiencing a particular outcome as if it were actually happening to us,
we're much more likely to achieve it.
(In the full version, you'll be able to click here for an audio guide to
seeing hearing and feeling yourself experiencing your outcomewhich will
allow you just to close your eyes and concentrate even better.)
4. Can you start and maintain this outcome?
This is self-explanatory, but vital, as many of us either have issues
around beginning projects, or keeping them going to the finish.

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If you find you can answer, "Yes!," enthusiastically here, the chances are
that you have so much thirst to fulfil your outcome that it'll help you to
maintain your desire for it, even when facing challenges along the way.
If you feel lukewarm at this stage, that's fine tooIt's just a sign that
you should either repeat parts one and two of this process again, or if
that still doesn't make the idea appeal enough, just choose another
outcome!

5. Ask yourself, what do you gain at present from not achieving this
outcome? (This is the crux of the whole technique, and reflects
the NLP presupposition the "Every behaviour has a positive
intention").
This step is crucial, unusual and boosts your sense of self-worth too.
It's a boost for you because it assumes that your already doing the best
you can with the information and attitudes you have. Allow yourself to
give yourself the benefit of the doubt about this, and enjoy the sense of
freedom that this brings you.
It's unusual, because as far as I know, this question, and the assumption
behind it, is unique to NLP.
And it's crucial because working with it will enable you to change your
current patterns quickly and easily.
As a quick tip, it's best to do this section of the process with a pen and
paper, giving yourself about 15 minutes of quiet time in which to list every
advantage to your current position that you can think of.
(By the way, if this information should come out in "fits and starts",
that's fineit's just the way your mind's workingbe easy on yourself,
and avid looking in detail at anything on that list until you've finished this
section of the task).
Click through to page 45 for more thoughts about how, "Every behaviour,"
can, "have a positive intention."
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Or see below for the next part of the process.


6.Think of all the ways in which you can make these current gains a
part of the new outcome too.
This is the natural extension of finding all those positive aspects of your
current situation: it means that you can take all the benefits you already
have into a new setting.
Or, you may decide that you have so many benefits already that you
don't actually want to go forward with this plan after all.
And if that should be your decisionguess whatThat's fine, and the
Well-Formed Outcome Process has still worked brilliantly.
Its purpose is just as much to weed out unsatisfying goals from your life
as it is to help you choose your heart's desire.

Eg, sometimes people find that one of the "pay-offs" of being unwell is
that they are nurtured by others for the first time. Their challenge is
then to set the goal of becoming healthy, yet still receiving appropriate
nurturing.
8. What is the context of the outcome, ie:
When do you want the outcome?
Where do you want the outcome to occur?
With/for whom do you want the outcome?
Is there any person, place or time in relation to which the
outcome would not be appropriate?
For how long do you/others need the outcome to last?

If you're the kind of person who prefers to think about life in general
terms, ("The big picture") you might be especially tempted to skip
through this part of the process. If so, here are two good reasons to
think about it especially carefully.
First of all, thinking through all the details (or even better, writing them
all down) helps you to translate your thoughts from dreams in your mind
into a positive action plan. (For more about putting your ideas into action
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see any of Anthony Robbins books or tapes, eg. "Awaken the Giant
Within", or, "Unleash the Power Within").
Secondly, have you ever heard the phrase, "Be careful of what you ask
for, because you might just get!" This part of the process helps you to be
absolutely sure that you really do want exactly that for which you're
asking.

A cautionary tale
When I did this process for the very first time, I was very successful in
my working life, but had been single and unhappy about it for two years.
So I decided that my outcome should be to:
"Transfer the confidence and resources I already have in my working life,
into my love life"

Sure enough, a new relationship did soon begintwo hours after I lost my
job.
So I had indeed managed to "transfer", the relevant confidence and
resources, just as I'd stated in my outcome.
If I'd put proper thought and planning into this stage of the process, I
might well have thought more about context, and decided that I wanted a
relationship, "alongside my current job", for example.
So spend some time crafting the details of that which you want hereit's
well worth it!
9. A) Is the outcome worth the cost to you (or to another person, if
their goal is being set)?
B) If this is unclear, make a list of the costs of achieving the
outcome, then a list of the costs of NOT achieving it, in the longterm, and compare the two.
(Remember that cost can be measured in terms of time, energy
goodwill, physical help and any other resource that means
something to you, as well as actual money).
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This stage of the process says it all really, and again, it's worth spending
some time over.
Depending on the outcome you have in mind (because remember, this
process can be used in any situation, at home, at work, or socially) it
might even be appropriate to ask others for data (eg, enquiring about the
cost of new equipment).
10. Finally, ask yourself, "Do I feel comfortable with this
outcome?"
This question is actually a good point to include in any personal
development workand it's one which only you can answer.
If you (or anyone else trying out the process) can give a resounding,
"Yes!" with all your heart and soul at this point, then the process is
finished.
If not, keep recycling through this process until you can , "sign-up," to an
outcome wholeheartedly.

*******************************

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EXTENSION: MAKING GOALS MOVE NEARER

I___________I____________I___________I___________I
2

The horizontal line represents time, punctuated by different markers.


The letters represent stages involved in reaching a goal. So, for
example, E is your ultimate goal, A is the point at which you are now in
relation to the goal
The numbers tell you the order in which to decide upon the various
portions of your goal.
You decide first of all upon your ultimate goal, then assess where you
are now (many of the previous exercises will help you with this).
Then, you decide on the "halfway" point.
Next, you decide how much you need to have achieved between the
half-way point and getting to your ultimate goal. Only as a last step do
you need to decide upon your next move.
NB. Stages A-E are often given dates in time, eg, you might want to
get to E by "Dec 2004" or whatever.
Another advantage of this way of proceeding is that each step towards
the goal can itself be divided into 5 mini-stages. (So if necessary, the
steps can be made so small that the next stage could be just finishing
this course!)

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But no matter how small, this method always gives you a manageable next
step-helping you to start the task more quickly.

INDIVIDUAL ACTIVITY
Using the diagram on the last page, map out manageable steps towards a
goal that you really, really, wants to achieve.
NOTES:

MAKING IT HAPPEN IN YOUR EVERYDAY LIFE


1. The NLP pre-supposition of the week is that "every behaviour has a
positive intention" How does this alter your daily life as you apply it:
A) To yourself and your habits now?
B) To your past actions?
C) To other people?
2. Continue to ask for what you want, concentrating particularly on how
clearly and positively you can ask others for what you want.
3. Continue to think about your "5 Good Things" each evening, and at the
same time, set a well-formed outcome for the next day, too.
4. Watch the film "Chicken Run" for light-hearted inspiration about
goal-setting, AND/OR read Paul Coelho's "The Alchemist" (a short
book, but a great fable about the power of goals AND patience).

**************************

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DISCUSSION POINTS: PRACTICAL APPLICATIONS

What might the practical applications of well-formed outcomes, and


asking for what you want be:
In dealing with your boss or colleagues?
In personal relationships?
With children or teenagers?
In making a career or life change?

Click through to the next page for some thoughts.

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WHEN TO USE WELL-FORMED OUTCOMES


There are probably as many applications of this process as there are
people on the planet, but here are just a few ideas:
At work: when planning strategies for the next day, week, month, year or
longer, or when assessing how to deal with competition, launch a new
product, or form an alliance with another organisation. It's also great for
helping everyone in a team have a real input into policy-making and
direction.
At home: When planning house moves, renovation, or re-modelling,
deciding how to deal with an emotionally difficult situation, when helping
the family reach a communal decision, helping children or teenagers make
decisions affecting exam and life choices.
With friends/socially: Helping that one friend who never seems to know
quite what to do next, party, wedding, or event planning, deciding where
or whether to go out in the evening, helping anyone (including, most
importantly) yourself, to find their heart's desire.
However, describing possibilities may mislead you into thinking this
process has artificial limits.
In fact, it can be used with most people, in most places, at most levels of
decision makingso please take the next step to freeing your mind, and be
creative with it.

**************************

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STAGE THREE: EXTRAS


DOES EVERY BEHAVIOUR REALLYHAVE, "A POSITIVE
INTENTION"?
Of all the points on an NLP introduction course, this is the suggestion
that is most often a, "flashpoint" for many people.
The key point to remember is that you do not need to accept that it is
true.
Instead, if you behave as if it is true, you will achieve the greatest
freedom-of-mind.
You may have to hunt for positive intentions carefully!
The positive intention is not always the same as that which happens on
the surface. For example, think back to the last time you shouted at
someone, or felt angry, or, "ruffled".
If you ask yourself the question, "What did that do for me?", and keep
asking that question in expectation of a positive response.
For example, if someone said, "I shouted at my neighbours last week,"
the process might go as follows, with the questions in ordinary typeface
being the ones they posed to themselves, and the emboldened ones, the
internal answers.
"I shouted at our neighbours last week".
"What did that do for me?"
"I couldn't hold back from complaining about all the noise they make,"
"What did, "not holding back", do for me?"
"I was able to tell them what I really felt".
"And what did that do for me?"
"I was honest."
"And what did that do for me?"
"It felt good."
"And what did that do for me?"
"I was able to be true to myself."
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So, in this example, the person shouting at their neighbours was


motivated by their desire to be true to themselves.
But surely you can't just go round feeling good yourself?
It's true that what made this person feel as if they were being, "true to
themselves", probably made their neighbours feel less than positive.
Here again, it's time to stress that a positive intention is not at all the
same as a positive result. As the saying goes, "The road to hell is paved
with good intentions".
What is the use of the, "positive intention," idea?
You may find your own answer to this question, but from that which I've
experienced and known, it does two things:
It helps individuals to stop beating themselves up about everything
they think is, "imperfect," (try it for yourself and you'll see what I
mean) and,
It also makes it easier for our first response to others to be one of
understanding, compassion and respect.
What about the people who do terrible things in the world?
Someone once said to me, "I know it's wrong to do drugsbut to me, it
feels like the only way to get some peace and be free."
Here was a classic instance of someone's intentions being positive (peace
and freedom) but their process and results causing trauma , grief and
difficulty for themselves and others.
Without asking the right questions, many people might have assumed that
that person, "couldn't possibly have had a positive intention". Which just
goes to show that it may always be wise to assume that positive intentions
are there, because they can lurk in the most unexpected places.

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Your task
In general, the quickest way to find your freedom, will be to concentrate
on keeping this assumption steady in relation to yourself and those around
youwhilst keeping an open mind about others in the wider world.
After all, if everyone in the world did this, the net results would be
astonishing.
And in the meantime, just give the assumption of positive intentions a go.
I promise you, you'll be pleasantly surprised at how the world around you
appears to change as you do so.

**************************

So, here you are having already learnt a lot about managing and
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And whether or not you've got the full course yet, remember to visit
www.selfworks.co.uk often for updates on NLP and personal development
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In the meantime, keep enjoying NLP, and your life, and let me know how
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In the meantime, v. best wishes and thanks for downloading from
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Clare
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