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Comment Writing - 2008 - $1208523615261
Comment Writing - 2008 - $1208523615261
COMMENT GUIDELINES
Objectives of the To provide guidance to Assessment Team Members on how to write high-
Comment Guidelines quality comments that are clear and informative during Site Visit assessment,
ultimately providing a meaningful feedback report to the command/staff.
To provide commands/staffs clear, concise feedback they can apply to
improve processes, practices, and results.
To provide directions, suggestions, and examples to assist Assessment Team
Members in writing high-quality feedback comments.
Note: Examples provided are not specifically related to the training case study.
COMMENT DEFINITIONS
Strength & Comments fall into two groups: “Strength” and “Opportunity for Improvement”.
Opportunity for Strength comments identify approaches, deployment, learning, integration, and/or
Improvement (OFI) levels, trends, and linkage factors that are important to the applicant’s success.
OFI comments identify missing approaches, deployment, learning, and/or
integration of processes; results OFIs identify missing and/or unfavorable levels,
trends, comparisons, and/or linkages.
Process Item & Process Item comments address the methods, approaches, and practices in
Results Item Categories 1-6; comments are written based on findings and conclusions made
during the Site Visit.
Comments
Results Item comments address the results presented in response to Category 7
Criteria requirements; comments are first drafted and finalized during Site Visit.
Preliminary & Our process uses two comment types: “Preliminary” and “Feedback Quality”.
Feedback Quality Preliminary comments are used for both Process and Results Items as a first step
Comments and job aid toward developing final Feedback Quality comments.
Feedback Quality comments are used for both Process and Results Items.
Feedback Quality comments use complete, grammatical sentences, in the same basic
order as Preliminary comments, but without the job aid labels. The Program office
converts the Site Visit Scorebook into a Feedback Report and delivers it to the
command/staff within 30 days of the Site Visit Executive Out Brief.
Commands/Staffs use this feedback to improve processes, practices, and results.
Process Item Preliminary comments are brief statements that are not complete sentences; they
Preliminary are structured into three distinct content elements (follow Guidelines on page 3):
Comments o Criteria: reference and highlight specific Criteria language that your comment
addresses; include only the relevant part(s) of the Criteria.
o Examples: specific examples that show what the command/staff is or is not
doing relative to the Criteria and/or its Key Factors.
o Importance: select the Key Factor that illustrates why this is a Strength or OFI.
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Feedback Quality Feedback Quality comments for both Process and Results Items are complete
Comments sentences written in paragraph format.
Process Item Feedback Quality comments are complete, grammatical sentences
developed using the preliminary comment elements—combined and expanded—to
provide actionable feedback to the organization. For strength comments, only add a
key factor-based Importance statement in the case of ++ comments. For OFI
comments, the Importance must be written as a key factor-based “so-what”, which
states the potential impact on the command/staff.
Comments include:
• Criteria language (highlighted) with the short “how” or “what” answer
• Examples
• Importance/So-what
Results Item Feedback Quality comments are complete, grammatical sentences
developed from the Results Analysis Worksheet information—do not include
importance/so-what statement. Comments include:
• Criteria language (highlighted)
• Examples from the results/charts/graphs
Follow the Guidelines starting on page 3.
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Example
Senior leaders set and deploy through the leadership system. Leaders use an annual Strategic
organizational values, Planning Process and numerous communication methods, such
short- and longer-term as, newsletters, meetings, and stakeholder sessions to
directions, and communicate to all command employees and key stakeholders
performance and partners. The leadership system involves many
expectations participants and decision-making levels: the Sector Leadership
Team, the Sector Subordinate Commands Leadership Team,
Chiefs Mess, and Unit Improvement Councils.
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Specifics related to
Scoring Factors Importance
Subject from the Criteria Verb Analysis and Citations (Le-T-C-Li-G) (so-what)
Customer satisfaction results show favorable/improving/consistent Performance levels, Not required
Work system performance results demonstrate ♦ Timeframe (in, from/to, during) trends, relevant for Results
comparisons, Item
Organizational strategy and action ♦ Levels/Numbers (at #; from # to #)
segmentation, linkage comments
plan results ♦ Figure Title Italicized (Figure 7.#-X) to organizational
Regulatory and legal compliance importance.
results
Example
Results for accomplishment of demonstrate favorable performance for the 5-year period A refined strategic planning process
strategy and action plans from 2003 to 2007. Strategic Planning purposely and favorably reduced the
Results (Figure 7.6.1) show the percentage number of objectives and action steps in
of completed Objectives and Action Steps 2007, 96% of short-term action steps
steadily increase from 2003 through 2006. were completed—the 83% value is for
Action Steps completed annually favorably all action steps, including longer-term
increase from 71.1% in 2003 to 91% in action steps that were not intended to be
2006. complete.
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OFIs — Gaps
Example(s) from the Importance
Introductory Statement Subject from the Criteria Transition Application and Criteria (so-what)
There are no results reported for product and service such as, Identify/List specific results Not required
key indicators of outcomes, expected based on the Org. for Results
There are gaps in results customer-focused outcomes important to the command, Profile consult your Results Items
reported for such as, Analysis Worksheet.
See Criteria Notes to help
Some indicators of workforce learning and important to the command
identify appropriate/potential
development are not provided, such as,
expected results.
Example
Some indicators of the operational performance important to the command are support process cycle times; cost controls,
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of key work processes not provided, such as, and quarterly department leader audits.
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