BEING ASSERTIVE

Having the confidence to say

what you want or what you feel.
 Session objectives
By the end of this session you will be able
to:
• differentiate between aggressive, passive,
assertive behaviours
• Give examples and find ways to
demonstrate assertive behaviour
 If you are assertive you can,
•Express negative feelings appropriately
•Express positive feelings
•Make a request politely
•Say NO when you are being pressurised
 The Power of Communication
• Verbal elements 7%

• Vocal elements 38%

• Visual elements 55%

 Competition in behaviour

• I win - you lose

• I lose - you win

• I win - you win

 Have you got that?
• Shuffle the cards
• Deal out amongst the people on your
table
• In turn, read out the situation on the
card. Is this:
– Aggressive behaviour
– Assertive behaviour
– Submissive behaviour (passive)
Recognising behaviours
1 Assertive
2 Submissive
3 Aggressive
4 Assertive
5 Submissive
6 Aggressive
Five steps to assertive
behaviour
• Listen
• Show you
understand
• Say what you think
and feel
• Say exactly what
you want to happen
• Work out a joint
solution
 Now, over to you…
• Pick a case study
• PREPARE – work out
what you think and feel,
and what you want to
happen
• Play it out with a
colleague – have
someone else watch to
give some feedback
• Someone else have a
go
• Do it all over again
How was that?
 Every Person’s Bill of Rights
• The right to be treated with respect
• The right to have and express your own feelings
• The right to express your opinions and values
• The right to be listened to and taken seriously
• The right to set your own priorities
• The right to say ‘no’ without feeling guilty
• The right to ask for what you want
• The right to ask for information from professionals
• The right to make mistakes
• The right to change your mind
• The right to decline responsibility for other people’s problems
• The right to choose not to assert yourself
 Summary
• Assertiveness is a learned behaviour,
not an instinctive one
• The objective is to achieve a win:win
outcome
• Use the five steps for basic assertion
• Practice, practice, practice
• Remember your rights and the rights of
the other person