Shopping at Wal-Mart

By Elton Camp

Worse economic woes could be in store

So I watch what I spend as never before
And that is now the principal reason why
That our Wal-Mart is where I usually buy

At that place, I find very little I can praise,

Except that it’s true, “Low Prices Always”
And I can even understand the reasons why
Their own store brands they urge me to buy

But if saving money wasn’t any object at all

At a much nicer store I would prefer to call
One that would help me get out to my car
And closer parking so I don’t walk so far

At an establishment where the clerk tries

To help me find what’s in my own size
Where checkout lines don’t reach the wall
And my money is taken without any stall

Where the employees don’t give a blank stare

And about giving good service, show they care
A place where they carry the quality brands
Rather than having mainly the unknown cans

And in a building where I don’t walk a mile

From the entrance to the milk and bread aisle
To a pharmacy where they don’t close for lunch
So they can eat together—the whole bunch

To a business that doesn’t look for a cheater

With a person in the guise of a store greeter
One that beggars at the entrance won’t allow
Who try to milk me like I am some cash cow

As soon as I approach the door, they begin

And when I am trying to leave, do it again
“Please give to the cause near to my heart.
So that doing our new project we can start.”
If I could afford extra money to give away
It sure wouldn’t be costs like that I’d defray
As I drive out of the enormous parking lot
I wish I could afford a better shopping spot

What a worthy cause—Not!