MAN WEEK V

The Holy Chronicle of Essential Requirements

To survive and to flourish in any extreme situation, it is essential to prepare the body and
soul for every occasion. To this end we have prepared a list of items it is suggested you
bring. To rely solely on this list would be folly, so use your initiative and use your cunning.
Items in red are highly recommended.
Item Notes Tick
First Aid kit Minimum of plasters, bandage and safety pins.
Can also be used to mend your poncho (see
below).
Tent Ponchos also work as tents, apparently (see video)
Sleeping bag/s For when your poncho is too cold.
Water proof clothing For when your poncho is too wet.
Compass For trying to find the remains of your poncho /
team.
Water container / bottle Better at keeping water in than a poncho is at
keeping it out. Helps you stay hydrated.
Emergency food Kendal mint cake or liquorice shaped to look like
SOS from above so that the spotter plane can find
you and your poncho.
Matches Fire – to keep your poncho warm.
Torch For night-time poncho sabotage.
Candle For old school night-time poncho sabotage.
Petrol Can See Matches (and ponchos).
Basic tool kit For basic manliness and assembling your poncho.
Basic cooking equipment To nourish the body while erecting your poncho.
Camera Evidence and to remember your poncho by.
Condom Works better than a poncho.
Poncho Works better than a condom.
Rope To tie up your poncho and stop it blowing away.
Tent pegs To tie the rope to (see above).
Swimming Equipment For when your poncho leaks.
Hiking Boots To walk to your poncho.
Step Ladder For a two storey poncho.
Beach Attire Poncho.
Hair Straighteners So you look good in your poncho.
Changes of clothes Bring a second poncho.
Screwdriver To put air holes in your poncho for ventilation.
Hacksaw To put bigger air holes in your poncho.
Drill To put air holes into your poncho faster.
Hammer To put air holes into other peoples ponchos.
Nails… To fix any holes in your poncho.
4x4 To transport your poncho.

DON’T GET LEFT BEHInd