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Hectic pace trumps manners

04:45 AM Jul 06, 2011

Letter from Tan Jie Wei

I REFER to your report "Singaporeans 'could be more gracious'" (July 5). As much as we would like to see ourselves as a gracious lot, the truth is that the majority of Singaporeans are just too concerned with their own survival to take heed of something as trivial as letting an elderly or pregnant woman have a seat on the train. Granted, certain civic-minded individuals still practise this dying act, and they are usually the younglings not yet exposed to the harsh cruelties of Singapore's fast-paced way of life. Singaporeans are faced with a plethora of problems each day, swamped with issues that occupy attention and processing power, leaving little to no room to be gracious. We may think we are compassionate but this delusion may well be just an offshoot of our "kiasu" culture: We must seem gracious because other people are, or else we will lose out. It is also by and large a matter of subjective perspective: An apparently gracious act like allowing someone else to sit at your table during crowded lunch hour might come across as unnecessary and even excessive to some people. It is quite sad to see working adults on the trains feigning sleep on a seat whenever a needier passenger looks in his/her direction. And on our congested roads, drivers weave in and out of lanes, with little regard for safety and the other road users. Singaporean life is simply too hectic, so much so that we forget to slow down and treat other fellow human beings with the respect and dignity they deserve. It does not make sense to introduce fines and penalties for flouting social graciousness. The effort must stem from within the individual Singaporean but, sadly, it seems this task is at once insurmountable and thankless. Until the blazing pace of life takes a dip, graciousness will always take a back seat - if it is even allowed onto the vehicle of progress in the first place.
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