The Chalice Lighter

Newsletter for Members & Friends of the South Fraser Unitarian Congregation, Surrey BC

------------------------- September 2012 ------------------------Sunday Services (10:30 am)

Worship Theme for September - Forgiveness

The Committee on Ministry: Developing Our Relationships, Nurturing Our Congregation

By Rev. Amanda Aikman

Sept 9

Flowing Together ~Rev. Amanda Aikman

As we gather again in community to start our church year, please bring some water from your summer journeys to share in our Water Communion. (There will be Magic Water available in case you forgot!) Well share our waters by offering 7 to 10 haiku-like words that convey the essence of the sacred place or moment from which the waters came. (Sunny day, chilly northwoods waterfall, best friend. Ah!) Sept 16 Reflections of an Interfaith Humanist ~David Dalley

The Committee on Ministry exists to nurture and develop the ability of the congregation to minister to one another and to the wider world. Their main functions are: 1. Support good communications between congregation and minister. 2. Support the healthy ministry of the church as a whole and manage conflict. 3. Evaluate the ministry of the church. 4. Act as a sounding board and advisory committee for the minister. If you have praise, a concern, or a great idea about the professional ministry of our church, please address it directly to our minister, Rev. Amanda Aikman. If for some reason you are unable or unwilling to do so, please talk to one of the Committee on Ministry members. Because anonymous and third-party feedback is not helpful, they will not convey such comments, but they will listen, and encourage you to talk directly to Amanda, or even offer to accompany you if you wish. This is one of the ways that healthy, direct communication is nurtured in our congregation. The members of the Committee on Ministry are: Mary Hamilton, Win Searle, Robert Emeny, and Ryan Usenik. Please check in with them and thank them for serving in this way!

As a humanist, I often arrive at interfaith events with some unease. Will my non-theistic worldview will be welcome? Will my sense of spirituality will be included and nurtured? This summer I participated in the annual conference of the North American Interfaith Network in Atlanta, Georgia. Lets explore the role of humanism in the growing interfaith movement. Sept 23 Dont Forgive Too Soon ~Rev. Amanda Aikman

When a covenant - marriage, relationship, congregational - is broken, what are the reasons to forgive and the limits of forgiveness? We will consider the covenant on which our congregation is built, how to strengthen it and how to repair it when necessary. Sept 30 Days of Awe ~ Rev. Meg Roberts

This Sunday falls just after the Jewish holy days referred to as The Days of Awe" (sunset September 16 to nightfall September 26). Their New Year, Rosh Hashanah, to the Days of Atonement, Yom Kippur, are when members of the Jewish community spend time asking forgiveness from people in their lives and from God. How do we as Unitarians put ourselves in right relationship with ourselves, each other, and the cosmos? Rev. Meg Roberts did her ministerial training in Vancouver and has served congregations in Edmonton, Montreal and Calgary. She is happy to be back on the west coast and looks forward to visiting SFUC again.

Calendar of Events for September 12

Sun, Sept 9: First day back at Church! Sept 21-23: 15th Annual UU Womens Retreat (details page 2)

South Frasers Bulletin Board

September Birthday Greetings to: 4th 15th 26th Roxana Klumper Kathleen Zimmerman Keiko Yano ------------------------------------------------------------------PIES, CAKES, PIZZA AND APPETIZER BREAD! Hopefully everyone has had a restorative summer season. Regular summer services will start soon. Once again, the Fundraising Committee will offer frozen baked treats for sale to help fill up our freezers. Please pick up an order form after the first service, September 9th. You will have less than two weeks to decide, then hand in your order form and payment. The items will be made available for pick up the week before Thanksgiving. These delicious sweet and savoury treats have had good reviews. If you have not tried any of the offerings, ask around as many of our congregation members have tried them. If you have any questions, please speak with Regina, Carrie or Win. ------------------------------------------------------------------Luncheons, sailing, house & pet sitting, baking, maintenance jobs, etc. have all been happening since June. If anyone took part in a SERVICE MARKET activity over the summer months and have not yet paid for it, please send your cheque to Mary Hamilton, our depositor, or wait until Sunday Services begin. (Cheques are made to SFUC with tax credit recipient on the memo line.) -------------------------------------------------------------------

------------------------------------------------------------------There is still time to register for the 15TH ANNUAL UU WOMENS RETREAT held at Bethlehem Retreat Centre in Nanaimo from September 21-23. The weekend retreat begins with a Friday evening ingathering at 7:30PM. There is a Saturday morning workshop 9 to noon this year the workshop centers on personal spiritual awakenings and the afternoon craft will be decorating memory boxes and/or making amulet necklaces or bags. There is also free time for all to walk the labyrinth and the lake trail. There is a Quaker style Sunday Service at 9:00 AM. The retreat ends after lunch on Sunday. The full weekend cost is $240.00. If you are interested and would like more information or to register, email tjhocking@shaw.ca. ------------------------------------------------------------------FROM SHIRLEY AND ED TEMPEST: Ed and I had a wonderful celebration on the occasion of our 60th wedding anniversary with friends and family on July 2 at our home in Harrison Landing. Thank you all for the lovely greeting card it was very much appreciated.

Among Ourselves
By Pearle Glen

Welcome home everyone! Here we are again ready to begin a new season. In early July a short service, led by Mike Sand, was held at Mona Milnes home. The topic in which several members participated was on humor. Oh we are a cosmic joke! Laughter, says Norman Cousins, is an inner jogging. A tasty pot luck lunch with more jokes followed. Congratulations to the following members who celebrated anniversaries: Shirley and Ed Tempest reached their 65th. Trevor and Carrie Phillips were looking forward to spending their 55th on Haida Gwaii, and to Steve and Christy Faraher-Amidon who spent their 40th in the US visiting her parents. In traveling news, Jane and Geoff Parker Sutton spent time at their cabin at Green Lake after a month in Britain. Meanwhile, two of my nieces motored out from Alberta to visit with me. That was a real joy. Please send your loving healing energy to Joan Russell, Ed Tempest and any others who will benefit. Please wear your name tags and Ill see in church. Love & Peace, Pearle

New Adult Religious Education Class: Faith Like a River

By Rev. Amanda Aikman

Starting on September 14, and continuing on fourth Sundays through the church year, I will offer a class based on the Unitarian Universalist curriculum, Faith Like a River. Faith Like a River explores the dynamic course of Unitarian, Universalist, and Unitarian Universalist historythe people, ideas, and movements that have shaped our faith heritage. It invites participants to place themselves into our history and consider its legacies. What lessons do the stories of our history teach that can help us live more faithfully in the present? What lessons do they offer to be lived into the future? The class will run for about an hour and a quarter from about noon to 1:15. Some of its goals are to: *Introduce the rich history of Unitarian Universalism from the beginning of our theological heritage to contemporary times *Demonstrate connections between historical events, people, stories and current Unitarian Universalist values, symbols, structures, and traditions *Encourage participants to explore the history of their own congregations

*Give participants the tools and inspiration to research more deeply topics of particular interest *Offer participants a way to enter into the story of Unitarian Universalism that is personally relevant. There is no charge for this class, but an offering will be taken to defray the cost of materials. If youd like to look over the materials, they can be found online at http://www.uua.org/re/tapestry/adults/river/index.shtml. We will not do all the sessions, and I hope to bring in more Canadian material to balance the U.S. stories. It is not necessary to sign up for the class, but there is a maximum number of participants for each session, and it would help me immensely to have a head-count so I can make enough copies of the handouts. If you wish to guarantee yourself a space, please register by sending a quick please sign me up email to me at minister@sfuc.bc.ca. Also, if you would like to be a teachers assistant, helping me set up the room and a few other joyful tasks, Id love to hear from you. You will be guaranteed teachers-pet status!

Sharing of Joys and Sorrows Update

By Rev. Amanda Aikman

Thanks so much to all of you who attended and participated in the conversation we had in June concerning the sharing of Joys and Sorrows. It was a difficult and emotional meeting at times, and I salute you for hanging in there and listening so well to each other. The passionate feelings associated with this issue clearly indicate a great need in our congregation for people to have a space to speak and be heard. Indeed, in our lonely and fragmented society, this is one of the primary purposes of a church to provide a safe haven and sanctuary for people to receive deep and caring listening, to be known, to be cared for. Other feelings that were shared in that conversation revealed another great need: the desire of many for a worship experience that is integrated, soulful, emotionally safe, and not disruptive to a worshipful mood. As I look back over my notes from this conversation, it is very clear that there is no one approach to Joys and Sorrows that will please everyone. In consultation with several people, especially members of the Worship Committee, the following plans have been made. For the two or three lay-led services every month, the Worship Leader will choose whichever method of sharing joys and sorrows fits best with the theme and mood of that service. For the two services that I lead every month, I will greet people in the lobby before the service and offer everyone a chance to fill out a card with their joy or sorrow, which I will incorporate into a prayer. This will give me a chance to have a short pastoral encounter with anyone who wishes this, and ensure that even the shyest people will have a chance to share their joy or sorrow. The joys and sorrows will be presented for all in a prayerful and peaceful manner. And the cards will be available for pastoral followup by me and the Caring Committee. As you will see from other articles in this newsletter, there will be many other opportunities at church for people to talk and listen deeply to one another in ways that I feel confident have the potential to be more satisfying, meaningful and transformative than a brief sharing during the worship service. As always, your input and feedback are most welcome but lets give this a fair chance and see how it goes.

Covenant of Right Relations

By Rev. Amanda Aikman

These are words you are going to be hearing a lot in the next few months. What, exactly, is a covenant of right relations? It is a sacred promise regarding the ways in which a community aspires and intends to behave towards one another and to the wider world. Many Unitarian churches have found it very helpful to develop a Covenant of Right Relations. Such a covenant helps create a safe place for creative conflict, sets norms for respectful behaviour, and assists a congregation in presenting an authentically welcoming face to the world. Your Board has requested me to help the congregation develop such a Covenant this year. The Committee on Ministry will shepherd this process. All members and friends of the congregation will be invited to stay after church on Sunday, October 14 for a two-hour workshop to share ideas. In this workshop, attendees will develop basic guidelines to answer questions such as: How do we wish to treat other members? How shall I be in right relationship with myself as a member of this congregation? The Committee on Ministry will write a draft Covenant based on these ideas, and will present it to the congregation for feedback before it is finally voted on by the whole congregation. Covenants have been proven to be tremendously helpful in resolving conflicts, creating harmony, and making a church healthier. Im happy that the Board has asked me to get this process rolling, and I will be asking for your active participation and involvement as you create a Covenant that truly fits your congregation and will be a useful, inspiring and peacemaking tool for many years to come.

Spiritual Themes to Deepen our Life Together

By Rev. Amanda Aikman

Your Worship Committee has chosen a theme for each month of our church year. It is hoped that these themes will enable us to delve more deeply into our faith. On the second Sunday of every month I will share a story related to the months theme, and offer some related questions for meditation. After church that day, I will facilitate an hour-long, in-depth, structured workshop about the theme. Working in small groups, everyone will get a chance to speak without interruption, and to receive that rarest of gifts the attentive, heartfelt listening of others. Ideas, stories, and revelations that come forth from these conversations will be incorporated into my sermon on the theme, two weeks later. I will also be delighted to use any thoughts you send to me by e-mail. Our hope is that our worship experience will become much more of a dialogue and a conversation where we all learn from each other. Here are the year's themes, so you can start thinking about them, if you like: September: October: November: December: January: February: March: April: May: June: Forgiveness Gratitude Courage Hope Change Quest Transformation Brokenness Justice Abundance

Ideas? Comments? Send em along! minister@sfuc.bc.ca; Mona Milne, Chair of Worship Committee: monami@shaw.ca

A Note from Amanda:

Dear Friends, As always, the summer has not lasted long enough. I hope that you have had a really good one, and that you will share the memory of your most sacred summer moment in our Water Communion on September 9. The Water Communion is one of our most popular Unitarian rituals. It symbolizes the mingling of our lives as we rejoin in community at the beginning of the new church year. The water is saved, purified, and later used to bless children who are dedicated in our congregation. If you did not remember to collect a few drops of water, fear not! We will have some "magic water" available, which amazingly assumes the character of water from anywhere on the globe. So that the Water Communion does not inadvertently turn into a travelogue, you will be invited to share your waters by offering seven to ten haiku-like words that convey the essence of the sacred place or moment from which the waters came. (Sunny day, chilly Ontario waterfall, best friend. Ah!) I am just back from an exceedingly excellent and cheery Board Retreat with your leadership, and am so thrilled to be starting this year as your half-time minister. From September through June, I will be in Surrey for a total of six days a month: the second Sunday of the month, plus the next Monday and Tuesday; and the same for the fourth Sunday-through-Tuesday. One of the best things about this new arrangement is that I will be able to be much more present for you. Please don't hesitate to call me or e-mail me with a request for pastoral counseling or spiritual direction. Or for just a conversation, for that matter whatever is on your mind and heart is of great interest to me, as your minister. I also thoroughly enjoy meals, laughter, walks, and visits to your workplace or volunteer site. We can talk on the phone, Skype, or make an appointment for a private, face-to-face conversation the next time I'm in Surrey. I look forward to a deepening, enriching year with all of you!

LATEST NEWS FROM SZEGED

By Mona Milne

Already at the beginning of summer, I received a letter from Tnde and Mihly. They first congratulated us to our new minster. They have had a busy season. After Easter, they had a 3-day visit by 30 Unitarian ministers from Transylvania. In June Mihly interpreted for a group from Szeged on a trip to Romania. Later that month they expected the group led by John Dale travelling from North America to arrive, closely followed by a 35-year class reunion. The Kiss family is close knit and there are many visits of relatives of all ages in their home. At the end of June there was an important union of the congregations in Romania and Hungary into one organization with one bishop. There were a lot of celebrations at the meeting in Kolozsvr. When I first visited Budapest, I happened to attend a service led by the Hungarian Bishop at the time. The temperature in southern Hungary has been 37 40 centigrades, so the yearly gathering of children and parents in the garden of the church in Hodmvsrhely was postponed till August. One of the activities at these events is the baking of the krtsklacs, the pastries made on cone shaped tin cans, which we served at the Partner Church service in March. The contributions from South Fraser goes to help organize these gatherings as well as getting adults together outside the Sunday service time in Szeged. The Second International Convocation of UU Women will take place in Marosvsrhely on Oct. 4 7 . The city is located along the river Mures, south-east of Kolozsvr, surrounded by partner churches of Victoria, Bellingham, Olympia, Kelowna, Blaine and Beacon. The organizing committee has members from U.S., Romania, Hungary, Netherlands, England and Japan. The temperature should be very enjoyable at that time and you would be visiting a beautiful old city. The cost for hotel and conference is $350. Find out more from icuuw.com.