STUDENTS By Thomas Stelzer and Christopher Clark

FIRST DRAFT DECEMBER 2012 THOMAS STELZER AND CHRISTOPHER CLARK, DECEMBER 2012

Thomas Stelzer 1 Cavey St, Marrickville, NSW 2204, Australia Ph: 0423 114 495

INT. UNIVERSITY STUDENT CENTRE. DAY. JAMES, a skinny, tallish 18-year-old student, is waiting distractedly in a long queue. He reaches the front and a middle-aged ADMIN WOMAN wearily calls him over from behind a counter. ADMIN WOMAN Name. JAMES James. ADMIN WOMAN Last name. JAMES Collins. ADMIN WOMAN Spelling. JAMES Just the normal way. She stares blankly at him. JAMES ...C, o, l, l, i, n, s. She types his name deliberately into the computer. ADMIN WOMAN ...Look at the camera. James turns to the webcam on the counter and smiles. ADMIN WOMAN -No smiling. He stops smiling and looks at the camera patiently for a couple of seconds. ADMIN WOMAN ...Youre done. She waits impatiently for Jamess student card to print out and then hands it to him. ADMIN WOMAN Join the line over there... Next!

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WHITE TITLE ON BACKGROUND: STUDENTS INT. LECTURE HALL. DAY. James is sitting by himself towards the back of the hall as students stream into the room. Behind him, BEN, another boyish 18 year old student and EMMA, his girlfriend, also 18, talk distractedly. After a couple of seconds, GREG WOLF, a middle-aged lecturer enters and strides down to the front of the room. He is wearing an ill-fitting Matrix-style leather coat. GREG Quiet everyone... Ok, good. Im Greg Wolf. Welcome to Contemporary Media. Half a dozen students realise theyre in the wrong lecture and quietly stand up and shuffle out of the room. Greg, oblivious, pauses a second for dramatic effect. GREG (cont, looking around) ...Im looking around now, and Ill tell you what Im seeing - beige. Youre all beige. He pauses for impact as James and Ben watch him quizzically. GREG (cont) And sure, the world needs beige. But you know what else it needs? BEN (leaning forward, to James) More leather. James hears him, smirks and turns around. GREG (cont) Red, green, purple... turquoise. And thats what were here to do turn you guys into the... colours of tomorrow. He pauses for effect again.

(CONTINUED)

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GREG (cont, surveying the room) What do you hope to get out of university? BEN (quietly, to James) That jacket. James smiles. Greg points to a random FEMALE STUDENT. GREG (to female student) You. The female student looks at him startled. GREG (cont) What do you hope to get out of university? FEMALE STUDENT ...A degree? GREG Wrong. He points to another STUDENT 2. GREG You? STUDENT 2 Make new friends. GREG -Wrong. He points to another STUDENT 3. STUDENT 3 ...A job. GREG -Wrong... wait, what degree are you studying? STUDENT 3 Arts.

(CONTINUED)

CONTINUED: GREG -Definitely wrong. He looks around the room. GREG (cont) It wasnt that long ago that I was sat where you are having to answer the same question... And Ill tell you what I said... GREG (cont) -Change. I want to make a difference and I have. You want to know how? JAMES (quietly) You chose the red pill?

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Ben and James both smirk. Greg notices this time and looks at James. GREG (to James) What was that? James looks around to avert attention then realises hes being addressed. Ben watches on, amused. JAMES (pointing to himself) Me? GREG Yes, you. JAMES ...Nothing. GREG No, come on, tell us what youve got to say about making a difference. JAMES I dontGREG -Thats right, you dont... Do you have your student card with you?

(CONTINUED)

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JAMES Um, yeah. GREG Give it to me. James reluctantly takes out his student card and hands it to the student in front of him to pass forward. GREG -No, bring it down yourself. James takes the card back, shuffles awkwardly past a couple of students, walks down to the front of the class and hands Greg the card. Greg inspects the card as James returns to his seat. GREG (reading off the card) James Collins. Well, we know who you are. Do you know who I am, Mr Collins? BEN (quietly, to James) Morpheus? Greg catches Bens comment. GREG (to Ben) You. Student Card. James grins and Emma shakes her head. 4 5 INT. UNIVERSITY FOYER. DAY. INT. UNIVERSITY FOYER. DAY. James loiters outside the lecture theatre as students amble past him. Ben and Emma emerge, notice him, and walk over. BEN Well next week should be fun. Im Ben by the way, this is Emma. EMMA (to James) Nice to meet you.

(CONTINUED)

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JAMES JamesEMMA (smiling) -Yeah, we heard. You Arts as well? JAMES Journalism. BEN People still study that? JAMES I hope so, its what Ive wanted to do since I was a kid. BEN Really? I wanted to be a Jedi. EMMA You still do. BEN Yeah I know, but its a pipe dream now isnt it. JAMES What made you choose Arts then? BEN (shrugging) Couldnt think of anything else to do. And its only three years, so it cant be that bad. EMMA Dont get ahead of yourself Ben, its still three years of study. BEN How hard could it be? Ive been with you for three years. EMMA What are you saying? BEN (panicking) That its easy. -Youre easy. -Were easy.

(CONTINUED)

CONTINUED: EMMA Im easy?JAMES (breaking the tension) -What are you studying Emma? EMMA (looking from Ben to James) Teaching, primary. JAMES Cool. What do you hope to do with that? EMMA Become a vet, hopefully. JAMES Oh. Really? EMMA No. Obviously not. Teaching. (beat) Why, what do you want to do? Ben rummages through his bag. JAMES Well, ideally Id like to work in correspondence. Get a job overseas, Europe maybe. Thats the plan. Emma is distracted by Bens rummaging. EMMA What are you doing? BEN Checking where SAC is... EMMA What? JAMES Society and Culture? Ive got that too. I know where it is. BEN Problem solved, lets go. See ya Ems. He kisses Emma.

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(CONTINUED)

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EMMA Behave yourselves. Nice to meet you James. 6 INT. CLASSROOM. DAY. James and Ben saunter into the classroom along with a dozen other students and sit down. They are having an intense discussion about music. BEN I cant believe you dont like the Nine Inch Nails version. JAMES I do, but Cashs version is better. BEN The video is great, Ill give you that. JOHNNY, another student, throws his bag on the desk next to them. He drops into a chair to Bens right and lounges back nonchalantly. He has longish hair and looks stylishly disheveled, but has obviously put a lot of work into looking that way. He overhears the conversation and leans in. JOHNNY What you guys talking about? Music? BEN Yeah, you know that song Hurt? JOHNNY (dismissively) Yeah yeah, good song. Im actually in a band myself. JAMES What are you called? JOHNNY Johnny and the Homophonics. BEN (quickly) What?

(CONTINUED)

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JAMES (taken aback) Did you say the Homophobics? JOHNNY (correcting) Homophonics. JAMES ...Homophobics? Johnny gestures to James while looking at Ben incredulously. JOHNNY Homophonics. BEN What are you guys like? JOHNNY What are we like? Good question... Id probably describe us as psychedelic electro garage. But with an experimental edge. JAMES (slightly under his breath) Certainly covered all the bases. JOHNNY (to James) Whats that? JAMES (offering his hand) Nothing mate, Im James. They shake hands. JOHNNY Jonathon. Call me Johnny. JAMES Oh, like Johnny Cash! JOHNNY Who? The tutor EURY walks in. She is middle-aged, pleasant and obviously politically liberal with short hair.

(CONTINUED)

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EURY Welcome everyone, find a seat. My name is Eurydice. Its ok, I dont expect you to remember that, you can call me Eury. I know some of you may be a bit nervous, but I want everyone to feel comfortable, so to start, well do a little activity I like to call the getting to know you game. She looks at James, who is caught off guard. EURY You can start. Just say your name, your degree, and a personal hero of yours. James ponders for a second and Johnny leans forward. JOHNNY Miss, Ill get the ball rolling. Names Johnny, studying Arts, and my hero would have to be Ron Jeremy. A couple of students chuckle. Johnny winks at Ben and James and backhands Ben on the shoulder. Eury misses the joke. EURY Sorry, I didnt quite catch that, did you say Rod Jeremy? JOHNNY (correcting) Ron Jeremy. EURY Im not familiar with him. JOHNNY Hes an actor. EURY Oh, has he been in anything Id know? JOHNNY (quickly) Do you know Jenna Jameson?

(CONTINUED)

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EURY No. JOHNNY Nevermind, he mainly does independent films, but hes got a pretty huge... following. EURY He sounds interesting. JOHNNY He is. EURY Well thank you Johnny. Eury turns to the rest of the class. EURY Who wants to go next? JILL, a 45-year-old mature-age student raises her hand. JILL Just to clarify something, does it have to be only one hero, or can you have more than one? EURY I suppose it can be more than one, sure. JILL Ok, my name is Jill, Jill Matthews, Im studying a Bachelors degree in Communications, majoring in Public Communication, although I havent really made my mind up yet, Ive still got plenty of time to decide... Not as much as you guys, ha ha ha. As for my hero, or our hero I should probably say... Jesus. EURY (puzzled) And someone else? JILL No.

(CONTINUED)

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EURY ...Ok. Whos next? (to Ben) How about you? BEN Hi everyone, Im Benjamin Gregory Harrison, Im studying Arts, and I think Im going to have to go for Dumbledore. JILL (interrupting) Ooh, hang on, arent we meant to be choosing real people? BEN (facetiously) Are we? Theres an awkward silence. EURY (to James) And what about you? JAMES (playing along) Ok, Im James and Im studying Communications too. I was going to say John McClane, but if were doing real people, Ill choose L. Ron Hubbard. BEN (quietly) Good writer. JOHNNY (interrupting) Whos that? JILL Hes a fraud, an absolute con artist. BEN Who would have thought one man could brainwash millions of people using only a couple of silly books?

(CONTINUED)

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JILL I know, frightening. Another 18-year-old student, GLEN, interjects. GLEN (chiming in) Nothing silly about Battlefield Earth. EURY Its an interesting point actually, the way "silly books" can influence society and culture. Can anyone think of any other examples? BEN -Twilight. The class murmurs in agreement. JAMES (smirking) Harry Potter. Ben looks at him disapprovingly. JOHNNY (ruining the joke) ...What about the Bible? Ben and James shake their heads in slight exasperation. 7 INT. OUTSIDE CLASSROOM. DAY. James and Ben have finished class and are walking to the foyer to meet Emma. They are slightly disillusioned by their first class. BEN I dont know if I can take much more of that. JAMES Its like having the aunty no one talks about come to uni with you. BEN And all that Jesus talk. I cant stand God-botherers.

(CONTINUED)

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JAMES Im Christian. BEN Oh, fuck, sorry, I didnt mean... you know. JAMES Nah, Im just joking. BEN Hilarious. Glen nonchalantly catches up to Ben and James as they walk. GLEN That was a waste of time then. JAMES (taken aback) Sorry? GLEN (pointing back) That in there. Talking about Harry Potter and L Ron Hubbard. If I wanted a course on popular fantasy I would have taken one. BEN I think theyre just trying to get us settled in, get to know one another. GLEN Didnt say that in the subject outline. It said, week one introduction to cultural types. JAMES Yeah, but it also said wed be covering emergency fire procedures. GLEN (matter-of-factly) You wanna joke about fire evacuations. I knew a guy, didnt pay attention during emergency procedures. There was a fire. He took the lift. Cables snapped. Never found his head.

(CONTINUED)

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BEN Was it not in the elevator? GLEN (slightly shaking his head) Never found it. BEN Was his body in the elevator? GLEN (moving on) Point is, subject outline said; introduction to cultural typesJAMES (quickly) -and fire procedures. GLEN Right. And all we talked about in there was wizards and religion. JAMES And now a mans lost his head. Glen nods in agreement. GLEN What are you doing now? JAMES Ah. nothing. GLEN Wanna see a movie then? BEN Now? They stop walking. GLEN Yeah. You said you werent doing anything. JAMES (stalling) ...What movie? Today? JAMES BEN Just walking.

(CONTINUED)

CONTINUED: GLEN Thor 2: The Dark World. JAMES (feigning disappointment) Aah, Ive already seen it. GLEN Me too. BEN So why do you want to see it again then? GLEN (looking at James) If youd seen it, you wouldnt need to ask. JAMES (quickly) Yep. GLEN (to James) The original. Better or worse? JAMES Ooooh. Worse? GLEN Correct. BEN (chipping in) I really liked the first one. GLEN (to James, ignoring Ben) -Obviously very true to the graphic novels. BEN I havent read the comic books. Glen stares blankly at Ben then looks back to James. GLEN The ending. Thoughts? JAMES Pretty good?... left it open for the third.

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(CONTINUED)

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GLEN Of course. Youve seen who theyve cast for the next film. JAMES (dodging the question) Anyway, Ben, werent we meant to be meeting Emma? BEN What? Oh yeah. JAMES (quickly) -Sorry, Glen, we actually gotta head off. GLEN (disappointed) What about Thor? JAMES Sorry man, maybe another time. He hastily leaves with Ben in tow. 8 INT. CAFETERIA. DAY. James and Ben are eating sushi in a quiet cafeteria. In the background, an Asian sushi employee clears plates of sushi from adjacent tables. Johnny saunters over and sits down. JOHNNY Look at all this. What happened to real Aussie food? Like fish and chips. Kebabs. JAMES Have you ever tried it? JOHNNY Nah, all this Chinese shit, full of MSG. JAMES What, sushi? The Asian guy reaches their table. JOHNNY Sushi, crab, dog, cat, theyll eat anything.

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Ben and James look on horrified. 9 INT. UNIVERSITY FOYER. DAY. The foyer is packed with various stalls promoting university clubs and sports teams. Dozens of students mill about and collect promotional freebies. Ben and James notice Emma waiting by herself. They exchange pleasantries and walk aimlessly around to peruse the various stalls. They pass a stall titled Socialist Alternative and the MALE STUDENT behind the counter tries to engage them in conversation. MALE STUDENT Hey, you there. Do you know that the worlds elite hide more than $20 trillion dollars in tax havens? Which is enough to give everyone in the world $2000 or pay off third world debt... And its the result of our consumerist, materialistic society, which has culminated in a bigger gap between rich and poor than any other time in human history... His iPad vibrates and he stops talking to read the notification. He takes his time and holds up a finger to the others to stop them interrupting. EMMA (feigning curiosity) Is that the new iPad? MALE STUDENT (finishing the message) Yeah, it is, its great. 12 Megapixel camera, live video, voice commands. Here, watch this. (to his iPad) Find um, video, locate video for Chinese labour, ah, rally, find rally film... Ill just do it manually, its quicker. He fiddles with the iPad for a second then shows them a video.

(CONTINUED)

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MALE STUDENT You guys got a TV yeah? Flat screen, LCD, all that? Where do you think theyre made? Australia, right? BEN NoMALE STUDENT -No, theyre not, all made in China by factory workers earning only 3 yuan an hour, you know how much that is in dollars? Ill tell you how much it is. He slowly calculates it on his iPad. MALE STUDENT $15 an hour. JAMES $15 an hour? Thats pretty good. EMMA Is that before tax? MALE STUDENT (to himself) Hang on, that cant be right. He recalculates it. MALE STUDENT $35 dollars- cents... 35 cents. Would you work for 35 cents? BEN Probably not. MALE STUDENT (making quotation marks with his hands) So next time youre buying a "cappuccino" or picking up a copy of "Mx"JAMES -But Mx is free. MALE STUDENT Exactly.

(CONTINUED)

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BEN Ok, well, thanks man. They turn to leave. MALE STUDENT Wait, before you go. He offers them a promotional pen. JAMES (taking the pen) Cheers. They walk away, James looking closely at the pen as they leave. JAMES Hmm, made in China. A 19-year-old student, RACHEL, carrying a handful of leaflets, strides purposefully up to them. RACHEL (interrupting) -Hi, guys, Im Rachel, (pointing to her name badge) Im on the student union, and were having this totally awesome party for O-week tonight. Are you guys first years? JAMES Yeah. RACHEL Great, and what are you guys studying? JAMES Im doing Communications, hes doing Arts, and shesRACHEL (interrupting) -Arts? Youll certainly be free then. She looks condescendingly at Ben and turns to Emma. RACHEL What about you?

(CONTINUED)

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EMMA Primary school teaching. RACHEL Oh, thats nice. (pointing to herself) Business law... As if you needed any more convincing... (beat) Heres the flyer, and Im sure Ill see you all there. She hands out flyers to each of them. She smiles fakely and leaves. EMMA She seems lovely. BEN (mock indignation) Ill tell you what, Im getting sick of people not taking Arts seriously. Emma rolls her eyes at him. JAMES (reading the flyer) Toga Party. Free shots for everyone who dresses up. BEN Yeah but no one actually dresses up for these things. JAMES What? Of course they do. BEN Were not in primary school anymore. JAMES Fine, dont dress up, well see whos laughing when youre the only one not wearing a toga. CUT TO:

22. 10 INT. NIGHT CLUB QUEUE. NIGHT. James, wearing an impressive home-made toga waits dejectedly in a busy queue, surrounded by dozens of students in normal clothing. Ben stands next to him, also dressed normally. JAMES This isnt happening. BEN What did you expect? JAMES People in togas. Obviously. They arrive at the front of the queue and the BOUNCER stops them. BOUNCER IDs boys. Ben and James take out their IDs. Ben hands his to the bouncer who scrutinises it closely. He looks up at Ben, who waits nervously. BOUNCER Date of birth. BEN 2nd April 1996. BOUNCER Address? BEN 16 Wilson St. BOUNCER (handing back the license) How many you had? BEN Just the one. Ive lived there my whole life. The bouncer looks at Ben incredulously. James stares at Ben in slight disbelief and quickly hands the bouncer his own license. JAMES (quickly) 4 October 1993. 6 Bell Place. The bouncer looks at James suspiciously. (CONTINUED)

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BOUNCER What star sign? JAMES Um, Libra. He looks at James impassively for a second and then calls over another bouncer, BILL, who is checking other IDs. BOUNCER (gesturing to James) Oi, Bill, what do you think? Bill slowly looks James up and down. BILL (to Bouncer) ...Aries? BOUNCER Libra. BILL No way. BOUNCER I had him down for a Leo myself. James and Ben react. 11 INT. CLUB ENTRANCE. NIGHT. James and Ben enter the club and approach the DOOR GIRL. DOOR GIRL (to James) Oh, another toga. James looks at Ben as if to say I told you so. JAMES So theres others in there then? DOOR GIRL Yep, there was a guy just a couple of minutes ago. Went home to get changed though. You got your student cards? Ben and James look at each other.

(CONTINUED)

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JAMES We lost them. DOOR GIRL You lost them? Its week one. Emma arrives and kisses Ben. DOOR GIRL How do I know youre students? EMMA (gesturing to Ben) Its ok, hes with me. She stamps Bens arm. DOOR GIRL (pointing to James) What about him? Emma looks at James mischieviously for a second. EMMA (shaking her head) No. James stares witheringly at Emma as she accompanies Ben inside. DOOR GIRL (to James) I can still let you in. JAMES Great. DOOR GIRL Youll have to pay though. JAMES (resignedly) How much. DOOR GIRL $15. James, annoyed, hands over the money and gets a stamp. He walks over to Ben and Emma who are talking to Rachel. RACHEL Hello! Im so glad you guys made it. (CONTINUED)

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She notices Jamess outfit and smirks. JAMES Why arent you dressed up? RACHEL You didnt take the toga thing too seriously, did you? JAMES No, of course not, I always dress like this when Im going to a party. (beat) Where are the shots? RACHEL Sorry, theyre all gone. JAMES To who? RACHEL The guests. JAMES But none of the guests are wearing togas. The invite said, free shots for those who dress up. RACHEL Yes, butJAMES (simply) -Im going home. BEN Not by chariot, I hope. JAMES Fuck off. They stand around awkwardly for a moment. Rachel turns and swans off to the next group of people. RACHEL (in background) Hello! Im so glad you guys made it.

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EXT. OUTSIDE AREA. NIGHT. Ben and James are milling around in a crowded outside area. Emma walks out and hands Ben a drink. JAMES I thought uni was going to be different, you know. A new start. EMMA Dont worry, people will have forgotten about it by tomorrow. A GUY walks passed and sees James. GUY (laughing) Nice dress bro. James looks despairingly at Emma. Ben is looking distractedly off into the crowd. BEN Hey, isnt that the guy from the sushi place? JAMES What, where? BEN (pointing) Over there, look. Thats him, right? JAMES I dont know, it could be. BEN No, its definitely him. We should apologise. Dont you think we should apologise? JAMES I dunno... its pretty awkward. BEN Yeah, but I feel bad about it. Come on, lets just do it. Ben walks over to the guy with James following unenthusiastically. The guy is talking to his friends and Ben interrupts.

(CONTINUED)

CONTINUED: BEN (to Japanese guy) Hey man, hows it going? JAPANESE GUY (taken aback) Im good, how are you? BEN Listen, I just wanted to apologise about today. JAPANESE GUY Apologise for what? BEN You know, this afternoon, the things our friend was sayingJAPANESE GUY -Im not sureBEN (cutting him off) -You were working. At the sushi place. And our friend was making some generalisations, we just want to clear the air, let you know thatJAPANESE GUY -I dont work at-

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James, realising they have the wrong guy, inhales sharply and cautiously tries to interject as Ben rattles on. BEN -we know you dont just eat anything - dog, cat... horse. I mean, you might, and thats fine too. JAPANESE GUY Look, Im sorry, but I think youve got the wrong guy. BEN But(dawning comprehension) -ooh... ooooohh. (turning to James) He looks just like him. Same face and everything.

(CONTINUED)

CONTINUED: JAPANESE GUY Same face? What does that mean? BEN (gesturing to his own face) No, no, you really do look like him. Im so sorry. JAMES -Honest mistake. JAPANESE GUY Forget about it. James and Ben hover in awkward silence for a couple of seconds. BEN ... Anyone want a drink? 13 INT. CLUB BAR. NIGHT.

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James has ordered a couple of drinks and aggressively finishes one. An indieish girl, NATALIE, notices him and walks over. NATALIE Whoa, slow down Caligula. JAMES Very good. NATALIE Nice shoes, are they period? JAMES (feigning disappointment) Ooh, the first one was better. NATALIE Im joking, you look nice. Or at least you would, if it was 41 AD... and not 2012JAMES -Theyre getting worse. NATALIE Whats wrong? (beat) Trouble with the Gauls again? James shakes his head in slight amusement.

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EXT. OUTSIDE AREA. NIGHT. Ben and Emma are talking casually. Johnny recognizes Ben and swaggers over with a shot in each hand. Johnny extends his hand to shake Bens, realizes he is holding a shot, so drinks it and tosses it away to shake Bens hand. BEN (shaking hands, gesturing to Emma) Hey man. This is Emma. Johnny looks at Emma and does a slight double-take. JOHNNY Emma? BEN Emma my girlfriend. JOHNNY (impressed) ...Her? Johnny looks back and forth between Ben and Emma in slight disbelief, before throwing up his hand eagerly to high five Ben, who does not share the same enthusiasm. EMMA Who are you? JOHNNY (pointing to Ben) He hasnt told you? Im Johnny... the one in the band. EMMA What band? JOHNNY The Homophonics. EMMA Sorry?

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INT. BAR. NIGHT. James and Natalie are flirting. Glen sidles up from behind James, and addresses him while looking off into the distance. GLEN Looks like were the only two that can read. Invite clearly said Toga Party. He exhales loudly and sips his beer. James looks at him blankly. GLEN (cont, beat) ... and the beers shit.

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INT. MENS BATHROOM. NIGHT. James is waiting in line for a cubicle in a crowded bathroom. Ben walks in, lines up for the urinal and then notices James. BEN (loudly) Its a real sausage fest in here. James looks at him bemusedly as a couple of others look at him strangely. BEN (to James) Why are you lining up over there? The lines shorter here. JAMES (quietly) I want a cubicle. BEN Why? You doing a shit? JAMES NoBEN -Cause if youre just taking a piss Ill wait, but if youre doing a shit Ill just head back.

(CONTINUED)

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The guys around them react as James stews in embarrassment. The MAN in line behind James leans forward and taps him on the shoulder. MAN (to James) If youre not, can I go in front? I really need one. James reacts. JAMES Why not. GUY 2 passes James on his way out. GUY 2 Wrong bathroom mate. JAMES Cheers. GUY 2 Should be in the ladies mate. JAMES Yep. GUY 2 Cause of the dress. JAMES Got it. 17 EXT. OUTSIDE AREA. NIGHT. Ben, Emma and Johnny are talking. EMMA -Out of the frying pan, into the fire. JOHNNY (confused) What? EMMA Sorry? JOHNNY Frying pan? What are you talking about?

(CONTINUED)

CONTINUED: EMMA Its a phrase. You know, for when a bad situation gets worse. JOHNNY Why not just say that then? EMMA Its just a more descriptive way of... describing something. BEN (chiming in) Say you came home and your house has been robbed, which is bad, and then it catches on fire and burns down. That would be out of the frying pan, into the fire. A bad situation gets worse. Get it? JOHNNY (missing the point) Does it always involve fire? BEN No, that was just an example. It works for any situation that goes even more pear-shapedJOHNNY (confused) -Pear-shap-? BEN -Gets even worse. JOHNNY Ok. (beat) I still dont really get it. Why is going from a sauce paEMMA (correcting) -Frying pan. JOHNNY Right, frying pan. Why is going from that to a fire worse? A frying pan, yeah its hot, but youd burn really slowly. The fire - in there, dead, over and done with. Ben and Emma react.

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(CONTINUED)

CONTINUED: BEN (after a few seconds, to Johnny) So whens your next gi-

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Johnny spots an attractive girl across the crowd and holds up a silencing finger. JOHNNY (interrupting) -Whoa whoa whoa. Ben looks confused. JOHNNY (beckoning to Ben) Oi Ben, Im gonna need you on this one. BEN What one? JOHNNY That girl over there. Youre gonna tell her, lets say... (looking away) Hey, its that sushi guy. (beat) Anyway, we were at the beach the other day, drowning kid, Ive spotted him, you say Ill go get help, I say, theres no time, paddle out, rescue him, mum crying. Ben looks at him confused. JOHNNY (cont) Then just say youre going to get a drink and leave me alone with her. Right? Easy. Johnny walks off, pulling a reluctant Ben along by the shoulder. BEN (breaking free) How we going to bring it up? JOHNNY Just play it cool. Ben looks slightly panicked. They reach the GIRL.

(CONTINUED)

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JOHNNY (to girl) Hows it going? GIRL Im good, how are you? JOHNNY Good, good. Youre a first-year as welBEN (interrupting) -Do you like the beach? Johnny and the girl looked at him strangely. GIRL Um, I guess, yeah. BEN Well we were there the other day, and Johnnys spotted a kid drowning, and before I could even do anything, Johnnys said... JOHNNY -Ill go get help! Johnny realises his mistake. Ben looks on speechless. GIRL (to Ben) So what did you do? Ben looks at Johnny helplessly. BEN (beat) Um...I said, theres no time for help... GIRL What happened? Did you save him? BEN ...Yep. The girl looks at him in admiration. BEN Anyway, Im going to get a drink.

(CONTINUED)

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GIRL Ill come! BEN (taken aback) ...Alright. He glances at Johnny who looks at him darkly. The girl leads Ben to the bar and Johnny walks back to Emma. Ben turns back and looks helplessly at Emma. EMMA (to Johnny) What happened? Wheres he going? JOHNNY Your boyfriend fucked it up. 18 INT. CLUB BAR. NIGHT. James and Natalie are talking at the bar. James spots Ben with the other girl waiting at the other end of the bar. James looks at him confused and Ben looks back at him helplessly. NATALIE (to James) So are you going to make a move? JAMES Sorry? NATALIE Us, here, are you going to make a move? He looks at her indecisively for a second then leans in awkwardly and she grabs him by the collar and kisses him vigourously. 19 EXT. OUTSIDE AREA. NIGHT. Ben walks sheepishly over to Johnny and Emma who are standing in awkward silence. EMMA Wheres your new girlfriend? BEN I came clean. Told her the truth.

(CONTINUED)

CONTINUED:

36.

EMMA Really? BEN Yep. Told her I had a girlfriend, it was all a misunderstanding. The girl breezes over and touches Ben on the arm. GIRL (to Ben) So youll call me? BEN ...Yep. The girl saunters away. Emma looks at Ben scornfully. EMMA Youre not calling her. BEN No, of course Im not. EMMA ...So youre just going to lead her on and never talk to her again? BEN (confused) What? No... Wait. Emma storms off and Johnny shakes his head disapprovingly at Ben. 20 INT. CLUB. NIGHT. James and Natalie are kissing passionately in a busy corner of the club. Natalie breaks off, takes Jamess hand and leans in to his ear. NATALIE Follow me. She leads him by the hand.

37. 21 INT. CLUB. NIGHT. Natalie is leading James to the disabled bathroom. They reach the door, open it, and enter. Another MAN 2 grabs the door as its closing and they turn around. JAMES What are you doing? MAN 2 Nothing mate, just checking everythings ok in here. JAMES (closing the door) Yeah, were fine. MAN 2 (blocking the door) Its just, its a disabled toilet. JAMES Do you need to use it? MAN 2 Nah mate, but someone else might. JAMES So whats it to you then? MAN 2 Nothing, just wouldnt want you getting in any trouble. JAMES Just fuck off. MAN 2 Hey Im just looking out for ya mate. JAMES How are you helping me out? Natalie sighs in frustration and pushes past the others and out the door. MAN (smugly) Just trying to do the right thing. He lets go of the door and leaves. James, annoyed, sits down on the toilet seat. His toga drops off his shoulder and sighs in resignation.