The Best Cor,lntyy,e Fairy Tale

On the island of MaIaiIa thereis an inn. lt has beentherefor manygenerotions. When this story started,it was run by a couplewho took good careof it and made their guests feelat home. Foreign guestswouldcome back year after yeor and sendtheir friends. Thecouple had fivedaughters who wentto school and enjoyed meetingtheguestsof the inn, who told them about foreign londs.On weekends the family would hold o por\r for theguests, wherethefivegirls wouldsing ond dance. When the oldestgirl, Sotu,had finished school shestartedto helpat the inn.A young foreigner,who had stayedwith them severol timeswith hisfamily,feIIin lovewith herand shewith him. lrVhen he comebockto the inn the next year,theymarried, and shefollowed her husbandbackto hiscountry. Bythot timethesecond daughter, Dua,had just completed school, and she tookher sister's placeat the inn. Sometime later sheolsofeII in lovewith ayoung mon who wastheirguest. She married him ond went with him to his counlry. The third gir[ Tigo,took Duo'splace,but Iike her older sisters, she alsofeII in lovewith a foreign guest,and aftera time shetoo went abroadwith her new husband. And so it went with the fourth ond fifth daughters, Ampat and Lima. The innkeeper and his wife were now olone,their fomily spreadaII around the globe. The daughters senttheir friendsto the inn, whichtheir parentscontinued to run. 3o Many years later, when the daughters themselves had adult childrenin their different countries, the old innkeeper died. The doughters aII flewbockwith theirfamiliesfor his funeral and wept over their beloved fother.And after the funeral they sattogether with their mother.It wos decidedthot their motherwould seIIthe inn to a young couple who had presented themselves and would comeond live with oneof her daughters. But with whom?Eachdaughterond son-in-Iaw offeredtheir housefor Grandmato retire to. And Grandma oskedher five eldest grandchildren to describe to her what life in eachof the foreigncountrieswould be like. Satu'sdoughtersoid: "Grandmo, you wiII Ioveour country.We believe in the rights of the individual.Webelieve aII peopleare different,and they haveo right to be different.t canpursuemy own interests, do my ownthing, and nobodywiII stopme.l can hovemy own opinions, and nobodycan preventme from expressing them.l conchoose my own friends, and I can votefor the leaders I like,and nobodycon tell me otherwise." "Buthow canyoube anybody inyourcountry?"asked Aunt Lima."Doesn't whoyou are depend on where you camefrom and on the groupsyou belong to? How canyou expect your peopleto be loyal to you if you are not Ioyal to them?And who wiII take care of Grandmawhen she needshelp?Who takes careofyour fother'sogedrelotives?" And don'tyou get into manyconflicts? said Aunt Ampot. "Doyou really say everything EXPLORING CULTURE

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,,Howian yilng shocked you ::::ypit discipline this woy? HowwiII these Tor:ltom students behove in their*oik *hrn inrr'i"r, Ieftschool? And howdo theynri"rr'|"'tnri, andsisters, titey are rri ti i"'rl,' ?ymert porents of home?,, tr tney wont to make other friends,thev"ra are "Of course we have mosters oko freeto do that.Eochchild ond servants nor'nir1, nn ond bosses ond subordinotes own toys;thot is the way they i, o,r,,ourltry," leorn to be re_ soidDuo's son.,'But o subordinate sponsible for them ir r"t *"rtn selvei.,, I,ess tlon.the boss, and_if "Whot o borboriccountry!,, t airogrr, ;ii,rh" ^y soidAunt Dua, boss, 'b,ut I wiII teIIhim so. As for os"ow lirten b my sonnow,-Grond;,;:;;;"r, hro^i Uf, gr?!): our I tfunk we reallylive in a good likeequats, ondthey .parents ,o"ltr;' .!-,,!!i!t orscuss lhrnqs ,'you with us os soon Duo_'s os son soid, wearebig wlL loveour iountry, enough _ to understond, when*, oi, tl*o'o, Grondma. Our people treot everyioO'r'o, three years old.,'
Tigo lookedshocked. "Our childrenleorn to be themselves,,, said, ,'lf doughter. theywontto play wiih their Jatu's FXPLORTNG cuLTURE
51

tlere no respect in your country?,, reorntopioy;;;;:;":,Ir,io"::;,:#,::"!;:;i said ^

people think that o leader "ln our country, we is not effec_ believethat honest tive anymore, the leoderwitt strp i"ri'""a peoplespeoktheir mind,,, soid Sotu,sdough_ thepeople wiII elect someone ter."Wedon'twaste else.,, timein sociol chitchat for "lt.slunds likeyou hoveweak leaders,,,said harmony's soke. And webelieve ^ i,or'iou orc nunt.Jotu sharply.,,That wlat you make wouldbe tine if all yourself to be. iir'orc no, were good. B.ut whotaboutbaLd people? yloyl1u, tomilyis or what your friends are. lt:49 l..thinkpeopleneedstrong troarrr; rnot otsomeons ott)r*irc thot we do not outomati_ they wiII misbehave.,, callyexpect our fomilyto take *r, oi rr. Uy doyou gducgte-young fother's boysandgirls relotives will notexpect ,^ your .ro* i, ," t""X of_ tn country?,, oskedAunt Tiga. ter them. We will be happyto loii oner "ln our schools, students Grondmo, ondieochers ond of course treat wetakecareof our orh, Ii ke e q u " ols, D ,!!!:i, u o's s o n explo rons i ned. asthey ore :,, : r^ott,ii bythe ?:, tn closs, students moy speok r1ry tn!! "t up whenever oregrown, theywiII hovelearned to they wontto,ondteocheri tooKotter themselves. uprrfir.-'iiuar*, And we do not expect toke os muchinitiative in ,io'-s ir-rJornro themto look ofterus when *, orc old.)' 'But do.' ' do children 'ls.

friends is thefoundoiion of o civiLz;d s;;;Iy? Howcan you worktogether or even aoi"ri_ nels.rlyith otherpeople if you hore noi irst estoblished hormony withlhem?,,

hormony ytyinyining with y6urretoirri ora

that is on your mind? Did you forget that

hos spe.cia_I privileges. Nobody"is ,rryifr, ord vety poor. yo\dSt.is We elect ouriro,arlo, ona the leaders wolkthe streets like *r,yi"ai,,t r. You con go upto them ondtolk*itn liri. r most

equoL AII havethe samerights,nobodv

"Discussing with a childof two?" saidAunt jokLima."Nowcomeon,nephew, oren'tyou ing?ls that parentallove?We loveour children and protectthem and make them feel safe,but we do not discuss adult topicswith them.Butlet'sheorfrom Tiga's daughter about Iife in her country." And Tiga'sdaughter said,"Come live with us,Grandmo.ln our countrypeoplecarefor othersregardless of whetherthey ore friends or strangers. If someone needs help,she wiII get it.lf someone cannotprovidefor himself, thecountry provides for him. Wefeelresponsiblefor everybody." "Doesn'tthot make people lazy?"asked Aunt Dua."Whot'sthe useof doingyour best if the countrywiII takecareofyou anywoy?" "l don'tthink so,"saidTiga's "We daughter. expect peopleto do their bestbut not to try overlyhardto be thebest-orto believe themselves to be betterthan others. Wethink that smoll is beautiful, and we do not like people who make themselves importantand assertive.As childrenwe learn to be modestand unassuming." "Even boys?" Aunt Satusounded verysur"Caringfor the weakand beingmodprised. estis naturolforgirls.Girlsshouldbesoft;we also do the crying,don't we?Shouldn'tboys Iearnto be toughand assertive and to fight?' "Funnyyou would say that," said Tiga's "Wedon't makeso much of a difdaughter. ference in educating boysor girls. We don't Iike any child to fight-girls or boys. And in just asmuchasgirls; our country boys maycry their porentswiII comfortthem in the same wav.llle believe it makeseverybody happier."
32

"Do fathersalso comfortchildrenif they cry?"asked Aunt Lima. "lsn't that for you to do, Tiga?" "Theycometo whoeverl'sclosesf by,"said "What Aunt Tiga,somewhat upset. is wrong with that?Whenthechildrenwerebobies their just fatherplayedwith them as muchas I did. No,we do not mokesucha big thing abouta person beingo monor a womon.lfmy daughter wantsto learn corpentry, she is freeto do so.lf my son wantsto play with dolls, we wiII notstophim.Men and women wearthesame clothes, go to the someplaces, and havethe samerightsand duties. Many of our leoders just os are women,and they are respected muchos the men are." "Whot o decadent country!" Aunt Ampot criedout. "My son wiII teIIyou whot a good countryI londedin, Grandma." "ln our countrywe And Ampat's sonbegan, believe in orderand self-discipline. There are clearrulesthat everybody hasto respect. Some of the stories you told aboutyour countries make me verynervous. What if our children won't learnhow to behave?" "lsn't the woyyou educote your children rigid and dogmatic, then?" saidAunt Dua. "lsn't the waJ/ educate your children )/ou wishy-washy?" countered Ampat'sson."Ours is a principledcountry,that is true. We like to know the Truthand to teachit to thechildren. Wedo not likepeople who do otherwise. Those who do not think or behave like wedo posea threotto our way of life." "Youseemto forgetthatyou are different yourself;yourmothercamein os o foreigner. How did that go? How couldo strangerever EXPLORING CULTURE

beaccepted inyourcountry?",4unt Tig a Iooked ing for o future that movesawoy forever, you verysurprised. will neverenjoyyourself. Is that what life is 'Jiue,thot was not eosyi'confessed Auit about?Workingfor tomorrowis fine,but not AmpaL"l hadto leama lot of ruIes ondto be if you forgettoday." very carefuIto behave likeeverybody else. But "Workingcan be fun," soid Lima'sdaughmy husbond helped me." ter."Wealso haveholidays,and we celebrate Andyou,children-how were you accepted weddings, but we don't spendmore than we your mother being foreign?" osked Aunt Tigo. con afford. We like to lend to our friends,not "No, wewerent automatically occepted, thot to borrowfrom them.Wedont buy things just is so"saidAmpat's son,visibly uneasy.,'Every to keepup with the neighbors." nowondthen somebody emborrasses "Yourpeople must be'stingy, calculating, meand my sister forbeing differentButthenwemai<e and cold,"saidAuntAmpat disapprovingly. "t an extra effotrt to berealchildren of thecoun- wouldn't feel comfortablein a country like try." that." 'Thisis oIIvery confusing," Grondma said. Therewas a long silence, ond the five sis"Yourcountries are eachso different. But t terslookedat their motherand their families haven'theardfrom Lima'sdaughter yet. and eochotherand felt veryuneasy. Theyhad Moyb, hersis a country that I will feelcom- reallygrown apaft. Noneof the five countries fortoble livingin." would pleasethe other sisters. Lima's doughter said,"Deor you Grondmq Grandma shookherhead and said she did will reallylikeour country. At homet never not know whom to choose. She didn't likeany sawanybody worynng oboutTruthwitha big of the countries-not Satu's do-vour-ownT.Wevolue people for whattheydo.lrVhat we thing country, Dua'sequalcountry,Tiga,s carIearned as children wasta workhard,to be ing country,Ampot's principled country, or enterprising, tosave, andto never giveup.We Lima'senterprisingcountry.tn the following set oursights onthefuture. lf thatmeans thot yeart she movedfrom one daughter to the wehave tosubordinate ourselves to others for other, enjoying all her offspring-and even o time,weseenothingwrongwith that.,, their countries. 'Do your people alwayswo*_gnd never have fun?" asked "lfyou keep AuntDua. work-

/ E X P L O R I N GC U L T U R E

Gert JanHofstede PaulB. Pedersen GeertHofstede

onn LU YE Exercises, Stor ories and Synthetic Cultures

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