BOY GIRL RELATIONSHIP

Dr Vinu A Thomas

What is this about?

Most common cause of distraction among young believers.. One main reason why many backslide. Many get trapped with wrong relationships Church and parents don't have time to give answers Youngsters do not know where to get the answers

Common questions asked..

As a child of God, is it wrong to fall in love? Is it wrong to have friendship between boys and girls? Is it wrong to go out on dates? Or chat over the phone or internet? Is it wrong to touch an opposite sex? How far can I go? What does the Bible say about all this?

Getting to the basics.

When God made man, he made them male and female. It is normal and physiological to be attracted to the opposite sex - part of the age related body change..not a sin! But God has set guidelines and boundaries Why???? To be safe and enjoy to the fullness. What ever beautiful thing God makes is always twisted and made perverse by the enemy.

Lust is projected as lovelooks so

How do youngsters fall??

A special abnormal affinity/interest for one person. A desire to spend more time with a single person.. That person tends to occupy more of my thoughts and imaginations. A desire to communicate more than normal with that person- emails, mobile, sms etc. Starting to talk to friends about that individual . Soon gets stuck in a relationship

Who are my helpers??

Media almost every movie promotes this Unfortunately senseless stupid movies are a great hit. Songs romantic songs gets me in a different emotional level Friends enjoy being made fun linked to the person, new ideas come up - like calling, writing letters, writing poems etc Magazines Seniors

Where does it all start???

All sins originate in the thoughts so guarding the thought life is important .. 2 Corinthians 15 : 5 My actions depend on what I store in my mind.. e.g. romantic books, revealing pictures, movies, pornography etc The eye is the lamp of the body.(Mathew 6 : 23) Job 31 : 1 My heart is desperately wicked.Jeremiah 17 : 16

Basic guidelines for boys and girls

Any form of physical contact leads on to more intense involvement ..so do not take or allow such liberties. What should I do? Good principle- keep women/men at an arms distance! Any physical relationship outside of marriage may be temporarily exciting.. BUT can have severe consequences..like what???? Guilt, trauma, bitterness, depression, hurts, scars Proverbs 6:27 & 28 and 7: 23. It leaves deep scars, sometimes life-long

What does God want??

God wants me to be holy sanctified Our God is a Holy God and His goal is to make us saints- He is not a blessing machine! (1 Peter 1:16) It is wrong to lust after a person of the opposite sex.

What is lust????
Lust-A strong/intense physical desire to have sex with someone without associated feelings of love or affection (Matt 5:28) loving the body of a person rather than the person There is no sanction in scripture for any physical relationship pre-marriage or extra-marriage.. Heb 13:4 Keep the marriage bed pure

Warning..

Be very careful- Lust caused the downfall of many giants- David, Solomon, Samson .. Flee! like Joseph1 Cor 10:12 Why are all these written ??? 1 Corinthians 10 : 11 Warning & Examples I need not be in a hurry- God will provide all my needs including the right person at the right time- Matt 6:32, Luke 12:30, Phil 4:19

What should I do???

Avoid being in the prolonged company of a single person of the opposite sex. e.g. committee meetings, opp. sex counselling. Avoid prolonged conversations on the phone, email chat with one person consistently , frequent smses Avoid making statements like .. I love you! or I feel God is leading me to consider you in marriage! chemistry and emotions Avoid any form of physical contactrelationship to be kept pure.

Infatuation vs. Love

Infatuation all at once- disappears when another appears.. Jealousy, mistrusting and uncertainty. Always in a hurry- for love, to go steady, for sex, marriage.. Always pleasure centered physical and what I can get? Otherwise dull, boring.. Leads to do things that are not right or makes you think that wrong is right ..

Infatuation

Other relationships suffer- at home, friends, college-want to be together Ride on an emotional roller-coaster- day is made whether sms or phone rings.. Always need a mirror- look or act the way the other person likes Makes you feel trapped- missing out on other people and things of life Your inner peace goes.

When to consider marriage?

Not as a student. Must be in a position of supporting a family. ( 1 Timothy 5:8) Proper age. Wait for Gods time.

Reasons for not falling in love during student period

Student period primarily to study.. Stewardship of parents money. Cuts us away from the wider group- affects our time, development.. Unnecessary emotional upsets.. Affects future relationships..

Responsibility to study

Where do we get trapped?

Unilateral revelation? God showed you to me.etc No. Both praying together for guidance? No! Praying after getting emotionally involved? No.

What is the root cause?

From Adam and Eve first SIN Man is separated from God There is an emptiness in all of us. Because of this emptiness all of us go through 3 basic problems... Inferiority / Insecurity / Loneliness This is present in all of us..

What happens to me..

Our understanding of love is If you love me , I will love you We try to fill this emptiness with things which we understand as love or things which give it.. We look to each other to fill this vacuum.. This emptiness can be filled only by

What the Bible says ..

1 John 2 : 15 Do not love the world or anything in it. WHY??? 1 John 2 : 16 Everything James 4 : 4 John 15 : 19 Ephesians 2 : 3 What is this World??? Any system or order under the

Start applying scriptural truths

Ephesians 4 : 22 Put off your old nature.. verse 24 Put on the new nature Colossians 3 : 5 Put to death 2 Timothy 2 : 22 Flee Ephesians 5 : 8 - You were once darkness but. Romans 6 : 11 Consider yourself dead to sin.. Galatians 5 : 24

Renewing my mind.

My thought pattern has to be replaced by Gods word (Luke 11:26) Romans 12 : 2 & Ephesians 4 : 23
Renewing my mind

1 Timothy 5 : 1 & 2

Practical

Run away from all unwanted relationships Do not give a foothold to the devil Intentionally occupy mind with wholesome things Be alert-watch and pray

Concluding..

Student period is NOT the time for you to fall in love. If you are involved please come to your right senses..cut it off Dating and unwanted relationships between boys and girls should best be avoided.. God desires Holiness and inner purity in his children. Study your scriptures diligently.it has all the best answers.

What can you do?

Take firm resolutions. Start praying for the person God has kept for you. Confess to God your weakness and temptations Because majority is doing it, you dont have to do it. What is the best gift that you can give to your future life partner???

The best gift that you can offer to your partner is an undefiled and pure body!! May God enable each of us to guard our minds and have the power to reject what is unwholesome and evil