Faye Ryland Life Narrative presented at her Memorial Celebration, Cuyahoga Valley National Park, September , !

"#$
%ello Friends of Faye and Cloy&e' (el&ome' )t is ama*ing ho+ memories, +hen linked +ith strong emotion, embed themselves in our hearts and minds permanently, -hey stay +ith us indefinitely' Many of us have memories of Faye of this kind.they may be from out on the trail +itnessing her tena&ity, +orking hard to keep hiking, in, her +arm and sin&ere greeting, &omplete +ith hug or the running private /okes she shared +ith many, Most of us here kne+ Faye during these latter years and sa+ her struggle physi&ally, )t +as painful to +at&h, )t +as painful be&ause +e kne+ ho+ mu&h she missed the simple /oy of /oining in and parti&ipating in the life she had al+ays kno+n, %er friend Lori 0o1 kno+s.2)f Faye had her body ba&k, she3d be hiking, sailing, travelling the +orld, se+ing, +orking, tending to her husband,2 Fe+ of us embra&e the a&tivities of truly living +ith as mu&h appre&iation as Faye, -hrough mu&h of the past #4 years Faye +as in &hroni& pain.and yet +e still heard her laughter, sa+ her smile and +ere engaged by her honest &on&ern for us all,., -here are lessons here for us all to use in our o+n lives, 5ne of Faye3s +ishes might be to have us all kno+ more of the full life she lived before it be&ame dominated by medi&al issues.She kne+ +hat it +as to lead the &heering &ro+d in the fren*ied +orld of -e1as %igh S&hool Football,.She &ould move +ith gra&e on the trape*e of a ra&ing &atamaran,, She felt the +ind and the spray and kne+ she +as &riti&al to the boats performan&e, .and +hen she &ourageously &hallenged the so&ial norms of her time, She earned professional a&&eptan&e in a National CP6 firm 76rthur 6ndersen8 +hen +omen +ere /ust gaining entry to this professional level, -hese are times +hen Faye +ould push right up to the edge.and as Cloy&e +ould say, 9)f you don3t go over the edge on&e in a +hile then you3re not pushing hard enough,2 Faye al+ays pushed more than hard enough, Faye had many adventures and &hallenges in the &ourse of her life but that thing that +as her greatest sour&e of pleasure, inspiration and satisfa&tion +as her relationship +ith others, Faye loved and treasured her friends and
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that in&ludes very many here in this room today, Faye loved us all very mu&h.she +ould say that 9Friends are family +e get to &hoose for ourselves,2 -his is the +ay she felt about us all, her friends, she said 9:ou are my brothers and sisters2 -his narrative +as &ompiled by intervie+ing many of Faye3s family and friends from both ends of her life, )n the &ourse of &ompiling this narrative of Faye3s life a great deal more material +as &olle&ted than &an be reasonably presented in this venue, Conse;uently +hat you +ill hear is the ma/or themes that +ere brought up again and again by almost all +ho kne+ her, 5ne &ommon theme is of appre&iation and admiration for the man +e +itnessed take su&h devoted and loving &are of Faye, Faye, herself, +as the most fre;uent to e1press her gratitude and love for this man.her husband Cloy&e, 9My hus<beyond= husband beyond all husbands'2 she often &alled him, 6nd so this narrative is dedi&ated to Cloy&e, -here is nothing that Cloy&e +ould appre&iate more than for us to remember and &elebrate the +oman he has &alled his 90ride2 for the last >> years, 6nd yet, on Saturday, ?une #, !"#$ Faye Ryland passed a+ay at her home in Chesterland, 5hio in Cloy&e3s arms after a long battle +ith debilitating illnesses, She +as a fighter, -o many of us she +as the most resilient +oman +e3ve ever kno+n.rallying from setba&k after setba&k, (e got so used to her boun&ing ba&k that it is diffi&ult to believe she isn3t here +ith us no+ 6nd +e miss seeing Cloy&e and Faye together, For to +itness the t+o of them together +as to behold a thing of beauty Faye has been endearing people to her +ith her +arm, infe&tious kindness sin&e she +as a little girl, She +as born Faye Claus on September #$ th, #@>A, She +as the third daughter of Bye and Mildred Claus, a hard +orking family in Corpus Christi, -e1as, %er father +as a +elder most of his life, beginning +ith building liberty ships in (orld (ar )), -he family in&ome +as modest yet middle &lass and Faye gre+ up in a neighborhood of small, +ood framed family homes during the s+eet and simple years of the 4"3s, )t +as a s+eet time in the 4"3s in Corpus Christi.a time of inno&en&e and laughter.a simpler time, Childhood friend, Mary 6nn Link des&ribes those times as being very mu&h like the sho+s 9Leave it to 0eaver2 and 9Ri&ky Nelson2, 9-hat3s the +ay our families +ere' Most of our Caddy3s +ere strong figures and made sure our family +as the +ay it should be, -hey mo+ed the
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grass on Saturdays and made sure the boys treated us +ell, 6ll the boys +ere afraid of our Caddy3s.literally'2 )t +as during these days that Faye made some +onderful friendships that she +ould &herish through the years and +ould in later years travel ba&k to en/oy at many reunions' Randy Martin, Sally Roberts and Faye +ere great friends.Randy remembers the three of them +ould +alk to the drugstore in the shopping &enter, -hey +ould sit at the &ounter and talk, drinking Vanilla and Cherry Cokes and play the /ukebo1.songs by Dlvis, 0uddy %olly and Frankie 6valon, 0y the +ay, Faye liked to put PD6NE-S in her &okes' 0oth Randy and Sally are ;ui&k to point out +ith a &hu&kle that 9+e +ere Fgood girls3, (e lived by the rules.if you +ent past the rules you +ere one of the Fbad girls3, Childhood lasted a L5NG time in those days, None of us girls smoked, drank or +ere se1ually a&tive, (e /ust didnFt do that,2 Faye +as very, very popular a&&ording all +ho kno+ her still from those times, She +as in most s&hool a&tivities, President of Student Coun&il and a &heerleader in both ?r, %igh and %igh S&hool, -o be a &heerleader in the great football state of -e1as means everyone kno+s +ho you are and ho+ high you &an /ump, 0ut more than that she +as genuinely kind and friendly to everyone, Faye3s brother<in<la+, Randy -urner, +as like a brother to Faye during this time having begun dating her older sister, ?ean, %e des&ribes the football s&ene like this, 9)f you have seen Friday Night Lights you may have an idea of %igh S&hool Football games in the Football state of -e1as' Girls +ould +ear their ne+ &lothes and everybody dressed up' Faye +as usually on the field leading the team &heers,2 Finan&es +ere tight in the Claus home, Faye3s mother +as very frugal be&ause she had to be, -his frugality +as not lost on Faye +ho learned the ethi&s of hard +ork and of saving +hile a young +oman, 6fter high s&hool, Faye attended Cel Mar College, the lo&al ?r, College, She +as very serious about her studies and +orked as a se&retary, 5ne day, one of the girls in the offi&e +here Faye +as +orking, &onvin&ed Faye to go on a blind date +ith a friend, Darly that day Faye +as temped to &an&el the date, 6 0ea&h Party in Corpus Christi is not a novelty and it had been a parti&ularly diffi&ult +eek, 0ut she +ent and the friend of that
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friend +as Cloy&e Ryland, )t turned out that they both en/oyed their time together but Faye thought she +ould never see Cloy&e after this first date, Cloy&e remembers, 9She thought ) +ould think she +as too mu&h of a B)C, She +as #@ and ) +as !$, /ust out of the Navy and had been out in the +orld, )t +as not love at first sight, 0ut as they learned more of one another they found mu&h to admire, Faye sa+ Cloy&e as +orldly, &onfident and &ompetent, Cloy&e &ame to kno+ Faye as a bright, beautiful, dedi&ated young +oman mature for her age, 5ver time they &ame to see that ea&h had the ;ualities that they +ould +ant in a life mate, Faye &ame to see Cloy&e as a mentor and hero and he sa+ her as his +ife +ho needed only his support to reali*e her professional ambitions and he +anted to help her to a&hieve them, 0ut marriage +ould have to +ait, -heirs +as not to be a &ollege marriage so it +as three years later after a long distan&e relationship they married 6ugust !4 #@A , /ust before Cloy&e3s last semester at the Eniversity of %ouston, -hey +ere married on a Sunday in Corpus Christi and they +ent ba&k to %ouston that day so that he &ould be ba&k at +ork on Monday, , 9) &alled Faye my bride for the first time that day, and ) have &alled her my 0ride all of our married life,2 9Some may laugh or think it silly, or &ute, that ) still &alled her my bride in later years,2 90ut ) do it be&ause ) hope it reminds her of ho+ she felt as a bride and it reminds me of ho+ ) felt then as +ell,2 6s the years +ould pass, Cloy&e, like many men +ho have loved a +oman for years sin&e her youth, did not see Faye as a AA year old +oman +ith physi&al limitations, 9(hen ) sa+ Faye, ) +as seeing over >" years of Faye.there are al+ays some elements of the young +oman in her serious business suit, or a young tan +oman s&uba diving, 6 man does not see his +ife the +ay she appears is in a photograph, Faye +as al+ays vital and beautiful,2 Darly in their marriage, Cloy&e en&ouraged Faye to &ontinue in s&hool and get her degree in a&&ounting, 95ur relationship +as su&h that ) +as her greatest supporter says Cloy&e, 9and ) +anted to do everything so that she +as su&&essful and happy,2 (e &ollaborated on her +riting assignments, planned and rehearsed /ob intervie+s, -his +as a great help to Faye +ho +as getting started in her &areer by breaking into a +orld previously dominated by men, -he t+o shared a lot of together<ness and +ere mutually supportive of ea&h
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other, Cloy&e had a &lear idea of +hat the kind of support he +anted to provide for his young +ife looked like, %e des&ribed it this +ay, 9)f you ever +at&h figure skating +ho do you seeH2 %e asked, 9-he girl'2 +as the response, 9(ho lifts her upH2 he asked, 9-he man'2 +as the reply, -hen Cloy&e elaborated, 9(hen you make /ust a little effort 7as a man8 you &an &hange the +ay a +oman sees herself, (hen dan&ing you +ant to make her feel she is the prettiest and most gra&eful +oman there, 6ll my life, Faye has been my dan&e partner,2 Faye returned the same devotion to Cloy&e, Cloy&e re&alls +hile in -e1as, 9(hen ) +as +orking outside Faye +ould &ome out +ith &old lemonade and i&e tea, F:ou3re not drinking enough +ater3 she +ould say, -his is typi&al of the +ay +e +ere +ith ea&h other, (e +ere al+ays a+are of the other and attentive to ea&h other3s needs, (e +ere very intimate, Faye +ould often say +e had a Freal love story3, 6s a young married &ouple they lived first in %ouston, -e1as, Faye loved their first modest house they bought +hen Cloy&e graduated from the Eniversity of %ouston, 9(e al+ays lived belo+ our means,2 Cloy&e stated, -his +as a &ommon value they shared, )n %ouston they began sailing their &atamaran and +hite +ater &anoeing, -hey also began their summer tradition of ba&kpa&king and hiking, first in Colorado and then in (yoming and (estern Canada, %ouston is a head;uarters for many multinational &ompanies, Faye delighted in meeting all the many ne+ people from all over the +orld and learning about their &ultures, (hen Cloy&e3s /ob +ith D11on Chemi&al took them to Mi&higan for appro1imately $ years, Faye mourned leaving her very a&tive life in %ouston, 0ut she soon adapted, She added skiing, ra&ket ball and s&uba diving to her life a&tivities, -hey took full advantage of all Mi&higan had to offer and she +as sad to leave, (hen they got ba&k in %ouston, Faye +ent to +ork for D11on as part of a start<up team on a massive pro/e&t to &onvert the &ompany to an integrated &omputer a&&ounting system, She be&ame great friends +ith &o<+orker Lynn Grey, Lynn re&alls, 9(e used to laugh about the fa&t that +e had +ay too mu&h authority for our e1perien&e' (e shared a lot,2 9She had a big smile, +as ready to laugh, and she +ould look adversity in the fa&e and /ust F)GERD )- 5E-'2 Faye and Cloy&e moved again in #@ A .this time to north east 5hio, 95h, look
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at all the trees'2 Faye e1&laimed +hen they arrived, and re&ogni*ed +hat a treasure they had right at their ba&k door, Faye and Cloy&e immediately set about dis&overing and adapting to the region, -hey &ontinued their skiing, sailing and traveling and built their 9tree house in the +oods2, Faye found /obs +ith several regional a&&ounting firms, Enfortunately, soon after this is also +hen some of Faye3s health problems began to be&ome more apparent, )n #@@@ Faye dis&overed +hat +as to be&ome the (hyNot 6dventures +here many of us here met, -his group has been des&ribed as a loving family by many of you.a pla&e of genuine belonging and a&&eptan&e not based on the usual trappings of status, )n this group Faye +as often the first to +el&ome a ne+&omer, 0ea Say+ell remembers ho+ nervous she +as meeting everyone for the first time at %o&king %ills, 9Faye +ent out of her +ay to made me feel right at home,2 -ony Iakr*e+ski also re&alls the first time he sho+ed up for the hiking group and ho+ great the people +ere, 9:ou +ere family unless you +ere an asshole,2 %e flatly states, %e refle&ts on having many deep dis&ussions +ith Faye and Cloy&e, 90oth of them +ere /ust so easy to talk to,2 %e adds, 9) am a physi&al therapist and +hen ) started hiking +ith Faye, she +as already hiking +ith +alking sti&ks, 6s ) +as bolstering her &onfiden&e, she supported me in M: +oes +ith +hatever bad<ne+s<girls ) +as pining a+ay over at the time,2 Lori 0o1, a hiking friend, loved talking +ith Faye,,, 9-hose &onversations are very near and dear to my heart, -hey are an intimate part of you and you /ust &an3t give that a+ay,2 F-his kind of &loseness /ust doesn3t happen +ith normal groups3 &ontinues Lori, 9(e +ent every Sunday be&ause +e really loved one other. Lois Ni&holson, a registered nurse +as on of the earliest friends of Faye and Cloy&e in this group, Lois understood many of the medi&al &hallenges Faye endured, Lois re&alls the sheer tena&ity Faye had, 9Faye had been in the hospital for most of one summer and had almost died'2 6nd ne1t thing ) kno+ she is still /aundi&ed and yet she +as +hite+ater rafting in Virginia' Bristy +as Faye3s o&&upational therapist fre;uently in the last 4 years, Bristy remembers the last time in parti&ular +hen Faye had fra&tured vertebrae and ribs and had to +ear a ba&k bra&e, 9%er pain had to be !" out of #"' ) 7Bristy8 asked her to sit on the edge of the bed and then stand +ith me but she didn3t think she &ould.still she tried and despite the pain did it'
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She +as so elated and proud of herself'2 Bristy kne+ some of Faye3s history and she +ould &oa&h Faye and say, 9Remember ho+ you used to lay<it<all<out in +hat ever you +ere doing at a younger ageHHH (ell THATS +hat you need to do NOW,,,2 6nd Faye responded, (hat tou&hed Bristy +as that /ust as often Faye +ould be %DR &heerleader in her o+n endeavors' Faye +as genuinely interested in others and it +as part of +hat made her so loveable' Marilyn Stonum and her husband Gary +ere also dear friends and part of this surrogate family of hikers, -he t+o +omen also shared a history of making it in professions typi&ally dominated by men and these shared stories initially bonded them, Marilyn refle&ts, 90oth of us kne+ +hat it +as like to be the Fne+ gender on the blo&k3, Gradually Faye started to open up about her medi&al situation and Marilyn got to see ho+ important Cloy&e +as in the managing of Faye3s health, Marilyn shared, 9Cloy&e didn3t /ust kno+ her heart, he understood her mind and body,2 %e +as her primary &aregiver= there +as no ;uestion about it, Chris Mit&hell Faye3s Physi&ian3s 6ssistant administered Faye3s gamma globulin infusion for her failing immune system, every three +eeks, -hey &ould talk during the several hours it took for her infusion, 9:ou &ould see she +as sad inside, She missed a&tivity +ith people she &ared for, She +as bummed,2 %e goes on to say, 9She +as probably one of the biggest hearted people )3ve ever meet.as ill as she +as and as miserable as she felt, she genuinely &ared about everybody else, 9 %e laughs +hen he shares this memory= Faye said she +ould be dating me if she +as young again' She3d say this right in front of Cloy&e to bust my &hops'. Chris said he +ould tell someone ne+ 9even though this is one of your most diffi&ult &ases, it &ould not be more re+arding be&ause they are t+o of the most &aring people,2 6&ross the board, the love and respe&t that Cloy&e and Faye shared for one another= the absolute &ommitment in his &are of her and through her often e1pressed gratitude have left indelible marks in our minds and hearts, Dveryone intervie+ed brought it up, Dveryone intervie+ed insisted even that the &ouple +ere so united that it +as impossible to see them in their minds +ithout in&luding the other, Lori 0o1 e1plained, 9:ou never think of Faye and Cloy&e as separate people and that is ho+ Faye +ould +ant it, 9 -his is +hat their friends said about Cloy&e and Faye as a &ouple.
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0ea Say+ell re&alls Faye saying, 9%e3s al+ays been by my side, ) &ouldn3t do it +ithout him,2 -ony Iakr*e+ski says of Cloy&e and Faye, 9-hey +ere ea&h other3s air, )t +as an ama*ing relationship they had,2 Marilyn Stonum re&alls a very fun almost parody they performed +hen they spoke to ea&h other, 9(ell Mrs, Ryland,2 Cloy&e +ould say and then, 9(ell Mr, Ryland,2 Faye +ould reply, Marilyn shared, 9%e +as in the best sense of the +ord, her enabler, %e +as al+ays by her side= arm around her.and at the end he +as standing by her bed, stroking her &heek telling her ho+ beautiful she +as,2 Bristy &alled Cloy&e 9the most loving partner )3ve seen in a therapy &lini& in a long time'2 9Chris Mit&hell sa+ +hat Faye and Cloy&e shared as a gift to others, 9Sitting there and being able to +itness their relationship +as enough,2 Chris elaborates, 9)t gives me a true idea of +hat love is about and +hat ) should be looking for, -hey brought something to this earth you don3t see very often.-RED L5VD,2 (hen Faye made the de&ision to dis&ontinue her medi&al therapies and enter hospi&e Marilyn Stonum remembers Faye saying, 9)3m s&ared in some +ays but it3s the right thing to do,2 Marilyn refle&ts that 9)t +as a de&ision )3ve never seen anyone make, )t +as heroi&,,2

She told Cloy&e 9) +ant to give your life ba&k to you,2 -here are things in this life, some very pre&ious things, +e &an never retrieve, +e &an never get ba&k, and on&e they are gone.there are only ND( e1perien&es and ND( adventures to be had and ND( memories to be made, -oday +e are &elebrating Faye' (e are remembering her as a soda sipping young girl, and a friend to many of us, +ho listened to us through her pain +ith delight to our many stories, (e &an pi&ture her as a &heerleader at
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-e1as %igh s&hool football games on Friday nights= +e &an pi&ture her in a po+er suit as a &ompetent a&&ountant professional, (e are remembering her as a fully vibrant and healthy thrill seeker, an adventurer, and a deeply &aring +oman and friend, (e are honoring and saying good<bye to Cloy&e3s life<long dan&e partner, his 0ride, his Mrs, Ryland, 6nd +e are grateful to be here +ith Cloy&e, her lifelong %ero. %er Mr, Ryland, (e are grateful that Faye brought both she and Cloy&e into our lives' (e3ve loved them together' -hank you for being here.your presen&e here, sharing this s+eet time of &elebration, is truly a gift, 6gain, thank you' 6nd from FayeJ -%6NB :5E FR)DNCS.(%5 G6VD MD S5 MEC%,

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Faye Ryland Life Narrative presented at her Memorial Celebration, Cuyahoga Valley National Park, September , !"#$

For Marilyn Shea Stonum

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