From Resume Hell:

1. 2. #. (. *. -. 7. Career break in 1999 to renovate my horse 1990 1997: Stewardess Royal ir !or"e $obbies: en%oy "ookin& Chinese and 'talians Servi"e )or old man to "he"k they are still alive or not. Cleanin& skills: blea"hin&+ ,ot washin&+ window "leanin&+ mo,,in&+ e.t." .ob involved/"o0nsellin& "lientele on a""idental ins0ran"e ,oli"ies available 2001 s0mmer 1ol0ntary work )or takin& "are o) the elderly and ve&etable ,eo,le 2. '3m intrested to here more abo0t that. '3m workin& today in a )0rnit0re )a"tory as a drawer 9. ' am abo0t to enrol on a 40siness and !inan"e 5e&ree with the 6,en 7niversity. ' )eel that this 80ali)i"ation will ,rove detrimental to me )or )0t0re s0""ess. 10. 9ime is very val0able and it sho0ld be always 0sed to a"hieve o,tim0m res0lts and ' believe it sho0ld not be ,layed aro0nd with 11. ' belive that weakness is the )irst level o) stren&th+ &iven the ri&ht attit0de and drivin& )or"e. :y s"hool advised me to )i; my ,0n"t0ality/

From Careerbuilder.cas 10 Wackiest Resume Blunders:

1. 2. #. (. Candidate in"l0ded a letter )rom his mother. Candidate stated the ability to ,ers0ade ,eo,le se;0ally 0sin& her words. Candidate wrote r<s0m< as a ,lay "t 1+ "t 2+ et". Candidate in"l0ded naked ,i"t0re o) himsel).

From Amy Joyce on Resume Bloopers:

1. Skills: Stron& =ork >thi"+ ttention to 5etail+ 9eam ?layer+ Sel) :otivated+ ttention to 5etail 2. =oman who sent her r<s0m< and "over letter witho0t deletin& someone else3s editin&+ in"l0din& s0"h "omments as ' don3t think yo0 want to say this abo0t yo0rsel) here

From Ask Annies article about resume blunders:

1. an a,,li"ant &hosted a headshot as the ba"k&ro0nd to her res0me 2. 6ther 'nterests: ?layin& with my two do&s @9hey a"t0ally belon& to my wi)e b0t ' love the do&s more than my wi)eA. #. 6ne a,,li"ant 0sed "olored ,a,er and drew &litter desi&ns aro0nd the border (. $obbies: &ettin& dr0nk everyni&ht down by the water+ ,layin& my &0itar and smokin& ,ot

*. =hy 'nterested in ?osition: to kee, my ,arole o))i"er )rom ,0ttin& ba"k me in %ail -. woman had atta"hed a ,i"t0re o) hersel) in a mini mo0se "ost0me 7. $obbies: 5r0&s and &irls. 2. 7nder %ob related skills )or a web desi&ner "an )0n"tion witho0t additional o;y&en at 2(+000 )eet. 9. :y sisterBinBlaw miss,elled the word ,roo)readin& in her skill set. 10. 9he ob%e"tive on one re"ent res0me ' re"eived stated that the a,,li"ant wished to ,0rs0e a "hallen&in& a""o0nt e;e"0tive ,osition with o0r rival )irm. 11. 6b%e"tive: "areer on the 'n)ormation S0,,er $i&hway 12. >;,erien"e: Stalkin&+ shi,,in& C re"eivin& 1#. ' am &reat with the ,0bi". 1(. "andidate listed her eBmail address as ,ornstardeli&htDEEEEE."om 1*. 9he a,,li"ant listed her name as li"e in the res0me b0t wrote ly"e on the onsite a,,li"ation. 1-. 6ne "andidate3s ele"troni" res0me in"l0ded links to her home,a&e+ where the ,i"t0res were o) her in the n0de. 17. /sent o0t my res0me on the ba"k side o) a dra)t o) a "over letter to another )irm/ 12. :y d0ties in"l0ded "leanin& the restrooms and seatin& the "0stomers. 19. 6ne a,,li"ant )or a n0rsin& ,osition noted that she didn3t like dealin& with blood or needles. 20. "hievements: Fominated )or ,rom 80een 21. ' on"e re"eived a res0me with a head and sho0lders ,i"t0re in the to, le)t o) the )irst ,a&e. 9he ,i"t0re was o) a lion3s head+ wearin& a "oat+ shirt+ and tie. 22. a res0me/ was ,rinted on the ba"k o) the ,erson3s "0rrent em,loyer3s letterhead. 2#. 6ne res0me that "ame a"ross my desk stated how the individ0al had won a "ontest )or b0ildin& tooth,i"k brid&es in middle s"hool. 2(. res0me/ had several &rease stains and a sm0d&e o) "ho"olate on it 2*. $obbies: $avin& a &ood time

From Careerbuilder.coms op 1! Wackiest Resume Blunders:

1. Candidate e;,lained a &a, in em,loyment by sayin& it was be"a0se he was &ettin& over the death o) his "at )or three months. 2. Candidate3s hobbies in"l0ded sittin& on the levee at ni&ht wat"hin& alli&ators. #. Candidate e;,lained an arrest by statin&+ =e stole a ,i&+ b0t it was a really small ,i&. (. Candidate in"l0ded )amily medi"al history.

From "aine#obs.coms A$oid %ese Resume Bloopers:

1. nineB,a&e "over letter a""om,anied by a )o0rB,a&e r<s0m<

2. 6ne a,,li"ant tried to make an im,ression by 0sin& )o0r di))erent )onts+ three ink "olors and a variety o) hi&hli&htin& o,tions on her r<s0m<

From Resume&o'er.coms en Classic Resume Bloopers:

1. 2. #. (. Revolved "0stomer ,roblems and in80iries. Consistently tanked as to, sales ,rod0"er )or new a""o0nts. ?lanned new "or,orate )a"ility at G# million over b0d&et. Seekin& a ,artyBtime ,osition with ,otential )or advan"ement.

From HotJobs Real(li)e Resume Blunders to A$oid:

1. ' o)ten 0se a la,ta,. 2. ble to say the 4Cs ba"kward in 0nder )ive se"onds. #. ' am a wed&e with a s,on&e ta,ed to it. :y ,0r,ose is to wed&e mysel) into someone3s door to absorb as m0"h as ,ossible.

From Fortune "a*a+ine $ia Humor"atters.com:

1. !inished ei&hth in my "lass o) ten. 2. Re"eived a ,la&0e )or Sales,erson o) the Hear. #. Reason )or leavin& last %ob: mat0rity leave. (. !ailed bar e;am with relatively hi&h &rades. *. m a ,er)e"tionist and rarely i) i) ever )or&et details. -. 't3s best )or em,loyers that ' not work with ,eo,le. 7. Iet3s meet+ so yo0 "an Jooh3 and Jaah3 over my e;,erien"e. 2. ' have an e;"ellent tra"k re"ord+ altho0&h ' am not a horse. 9. Ho0 will want me to be $ead $on"ho in no time. 10. ' have be"ome "om,letely ,aranoid+ tr0stin& "om,letely no one and absol0tely nothin&. 11. ?ersonal interests: donatin& blood. !o0rteen &allons so )ar. 12. :arital stat0s: o)ten. Children: vario0s. 1#. ' am loyal to my em,loyer at all "osts..?lease )eel )ree to res,ond to my res0me on my o))i"e voi"e mail. 1(. 'nstr0mental in r0inin& entire o,eration )or a :idwest "hain store.

From Resumanias Arc%i$e:

1. .ob 50ties: nswer ,hones+ )ile ,a,ers+ res,ond to "0stomer eBmails+ take odors. 2. 'nterests: Kossi,in&. #. !avorite "tivities: ?layin& trivia &ames. ' am a re,ository o) worthless knowled&e.

(. Skills: ' "an ty,e witho0t lookin& at thekeyboard. *. >m,loyer: :ysel)L re"eived ,ay raise )or hi&h sales. -. 6b%e"tive: ' want to ,lay a ma%or ,art in wat"hin& a "om,any advan"e. 7. >;,erien"e: Cha,ter ,resident+ 1227B1992. 2. >;,erien"e: 5emonstrated ability in m0ltiBtastin&. 9. >;,erien"e: '3m a hard worker+ et". 10. Ian&0a&es: S,eak >n&lish and S,ina"h. 11. Reason )or leavin&: ' tho0&ht the world was "omin& to an end. 12. dditional skills: ' am a Fotary Re,0bli". 1#. 6b%e"tive: So one o) the main thin&s )or me is+ as the movie J.erry :"K0ire3 ,0ts it+ JShow me the moneyM3 1(. Skills: ' have inte&rity so ' will not steal o))i"e s0,,lies and take them home. 1*. 6b%e"tive: 9o ho,e)0lly asso"iate with a millionaire one day. 1-. Skills: ' have te"hni"al skills that will take yo0r breath away. 17. N0ali)i"ations: ' have &0ts+ drive+ ambition and heart+ whi"h is ,robably more than a lot o) the drones that yo0 have workin& )or yo0. 12. 6b%e"tive: ' need money be"a0se ' have bills to ,ay and ' wo0ld like to have a li)e+ &o o0t ,artyin&+ ,lease my yo0n& wi)e with &i)ts+ and have a men0 entr<e "onsistin& o) more than so0,. 19. N0ali)i"ations: 9win sister has a""o0ntin& de&ree. 20. >;,erien"e: $ave not yet been abd0"ted by aliens. 21. Skills: =ritten "omm0ni"ation O # yearsL verbal "omm0ni"ation O * years. 22. 6b%e"tive: ' wo0ld like to work )or a "om,any that is very la; when it "omes to tardiness. 2#. >d0"ation: ' ,ossess a moderate ed0"atin b0t willin& to learn more. 2(. >d0"ation: $ave re,eated "o0rses re,eatedly. 2*. Salary re80irements: 9he hi&her the better. 2-. Salary desired: Startin& over d0e to re"ent bankr0,t"ies. Feed lar&e bon0s when startin& %ob. 27. 4ad traits: ' am very bad abo0t time and don3t mind admittin& it. $avin& to arrive at a "ertain ho0r doesn3t make sense to me. =hat does make sense is that ' do the %ob. ny "om,any that insists 0,on ri&id time s"hed0les will )ind me a ni&htmare. 22. Re)eren"es: 4ill+ 9om+ >ri". 40t ' don3t know their ,hone n0mbers. 29. =ork e;,erien"e: 9wo years as a bla"k%a"k and ba""arat dealer. Stron& em,hasis on "0stomer relations a "onstant "hallen&e "onsiderin& how m0"h money ,eo,le lose and how an&ry they "an &et. #0. ?ersonal: ' limit im,ortant relationshi,s to ,eo,le who want to do what ' want them to do. #1. 6b%e"tive: St0dent today. 1i"e ,resident tomarrow. #2. ""om,lishments: 4ro0&ht in a balloon artist to entertain the team. ##. ,,li"ation: =hy sho0ld an em,loyer hire yo0P ' brin& do0&hn0ts on !riday. #(. "hievements: !irst r0nnerB0, )or :iss !ort =orth+ 1922. #*. Reason )or leavin&: ?0shed aside so the vi"e ,resident3s &irl)riend "o0ld steal my %ob. #-. S,e"ial skills: '3ve &ot a ?h.5. in h0man )eelin&s.

#7. Reason )or leavin& last %ob: 4o0nty h0ntin& was o0tlawed in my state. #2. >;,erien"e: ny interr0,tion in em,loyment is d0e to bein& 0nem,loyed. #9. 6b%e"tive: 9o be"ome 6verlord o) the Kala;yM (0. 6b%e"tive: =hat '3m lookin& )or in a %ob: Q1A :oney Q2A :oney Q#A :oney. (1. $obbies: :0shroom h0ntin&. (2. >;,erien"e: Child "are ,rovider: 6r&aniRed a"tivitiesL ,re,ared l0n"hes and snakes. (#. 6b%e"tive: :y dream %ob wo0ld be as a ,ro)essional baseball ,layer+ b0t sin"e ' "an3t do that+ '3ll settle on bein& an a""o0ntant. ((. wards: Fational re"ord )or eatin& (* e&&s in two min0tes. (*. $eadin& on stationery: '3d 4reak :om3s $eart to =ork !or Ho0M (-. ' am a Jneat n0t3 with a re,0tation )or bein& hardnosed. ' have no ,atien"e )or slo,,ywork+ "arelessmistakes and the)t o) "om,anytime. (7. >;,erien"e: ?rovide C0ster Servi"e. (2. >;,erien"e: ' was bro0&ht in as a t0rnaro0nd "ons0ltant to hel, t0rn the "om,any aro0nd. (9. Stren&ths: bility to meet deadlines while maintainin& "om,oser. *0. =ork e;,erien"e: Res,onsibilities in"l0ded "he"kin& "0stomers o0t. *1. =ork e;,erien"e: :aintained )iles and re,orts+ did data ,ro"essin&+ "ashed em,loyees3 ,ay"he"ks. *2. >d0"ational ba"k&ro0nd: $i&hs"hool was a in"redible e;,erien"e. *#. Res0me: &reat mana&ement team that has ,atents with its workers. *(. Cover letter: >;,erien"ed in all )a0"ets o) a""o0ntin&. **. 6b%e"tive: ' am an;io0s to 0se my e;itin& skills. *-. ?ersonal: ' am loyal and know when to kee, my bi& mo0th sh0t. *7. .ob d0ties: !ilin&+ billin&+ ,rintin& and "o,in&. *2. ,,li"ation: N: 'n what lo"al areas do yo0 ,re)er to workP : Smokin&. *9. Reason )or leavin&: 9erminated a)ter sayin&+ J't wo0ld be a blessin& to be )ired.3 -0. ?ersonal: :y )amily is willin& to relo"ate. $owever not to Few >n&land @too "oldA and not to So0thern Cali)ornia @earth80akesA. 'ndiana,olis or Chi"a&o wo0ld be )ine. :y yo0n&est ,re)ers 6rlando3s ,ro;imity to 5isney =orld. -1. Res0me: ' have a li)etime3s worth o) te"hni"al e;,ertise @' wasn3t born my mother sim,ly "hose Je%e"t "hild3 )rom the s,e"ial men0. -2. Res0me: S,ent several years in the 7nited States Favel Reserve. -#. N0ali)i"ations: ' have e;tensive e;,erien"e with )orei&n a""ents. -(. ' am )0lly aware o) the kin& o) attention this ,osition re80ires. -*. Re)eren"es: ?lease do not "onta"t my immediate s0,ervisor at the "om,any. :y "ollea&0es will &ive me a better re)eren"e. --. =orked in a "ons0ltin& o))i"e where ' "arried o0t my own a""o0ntant. -7. ""om,lishments: :y "ontrib0tions on ,rod0"t la0n"hes were based on dreams that ' had. -2. Career: ' have worked with restraints )or the ,ast two years. -9. >;,erien"e: :y )ather is a "om,0ter ,ro&rammer+ so ' have 1* years o) "om,0ter e;,erien"e. 70. >d0"ation: ' have a ba"helorette de&ree in "om,0ters.

Job"ob op 10
1. ,,li"ation: $ow lar&e was the de,artment yo0 worked in with yo0r last "om,anyP : # stories. @Res0maniaA 2. res0me listed a skill as bein& biBlin&0al in three lan&0a&es @ sk nnie3sA #. 4a"k&ro0nd: 22 do& years o) e;,erien"e in sales @)o0r h0manA. @Res0maniaA (. 'n the se"tion that read >mer&en"y Conta"t F0mber she wrote 911. @ sk nnie3sA *. Candidate drew a ,i"t0re o) a "ar on the o0tside o) the envelo,e and said it was the hirin& mana&er3s &i)t. @Careerb0ilder."omA -. Ian&0a&es: !l0ent in >n&lish. lso ' have been heard m0tterin& Kibberish in my slee,. @Res0maniaA 7. 5ire"ted G2* million anal shi,,in& and re"eivin& o,erations. @Res0me?ower."omA 2. 6n one o) o0r a,,li"ations+ a &irl wrote '3m 1-+ '3m ,re&nant and ' "an do anythin&. t the same time she t0rned in her a,,li"ation+ her boy)riend handed in his. 6n his: !elony )or breakin& and enterin&. @ sk nnie3sA 9. 6ne "andidate in"l0ded "li,art on their res0me o) two "artoons shakin& hands. @ sk nnie3sA 10. ,,li"ation: 6n the line that asked what se; he was+ he wrote o""assionally. @ sk nnie3sA

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