Readm Part2

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Table Of Contents
Section 1
The old methods dont work______________9
Section 2
The power of positive expectations!
Here is how to push his secret hot button ________12
Section
The !ormula !or "ettin# Him To
$o %n&thin# 'ou (ant_______________1)
Section *
+lockers , -.id 'our /an of $oubts and
!ears0_____________________21
Section 2
How to tri##er his protector instincts ___________2
Section )
How to #ive him a sur#e of excitement or
3
tri##er positive feelin#s in him on command _______)
Section 1
How to comfort &our man the ri#ht wa&_________9
Section 3
How women unconsciousl& sabota#e
their chan#es of #ettin# a man to do
what the& want him to do______________**
Section 9
How to immensel& intensif& his attraction for &ou _____*3
Section 14
1 bi##est male fears that ever& woman
needs to know__________________2)
Section 11
(hat &ou sa& vs5 what he hears , 6nderstandin#
4
the secret lan#ua#e of men _____________)*
Section 12
% bitter truth about relationships ever& woman
needs to know__________________14
Section 1
% sure fire method to make him follow
throu#h with &our re7uests______________1)
Section 1*
% deadl& mistake most women make which
indirectl& forces a man to #et distant with time______31
Section 12
/a#ic words to stop a breakup 8 make
him #o cra9& for &ou a#ain _____________3*
5
:er& ;mportant , <lease .ead
%eore we !egin part &# ' want to strictly warn yo" Do not read
this section unless you have already finished reading the
first installment of this program.

(o" wo"ld !e doing yo"rsel a h"ge disservice i yo" are trying to
skip the process ) !elieve yo"*d "nderstand all o the core concepts
easily. This section will not make complete sense to yo" "nless yo"
have gone thro"gh the irst installment o this co"rse properly. So# '
sincerely hope that yo"*re reading this ater having gone thro"gh
the preceding co"rse.

The content in part two might !e a !it controversial# as it teaches
women eective ways ) even psychological tricks to get what they
want or desire rom a man. %"t this doesn*t mean that it*s done !y
manip"lating a man to yo"r way o thinking# rather yo" alter yo"r
comm"nication with him in a way# which creates a win+win sit"ation
or the !oth o yo".

The methods shared in this man"al will make yo"r man ecstatically
happy with yo". He*ll give "p $"st a!o"t anything# to do whatever it
is yo" want# while "sing his own reewill.

(o" may !e in a relationship that*s already to the point o "tter
r"stration# in which yo" eel neglected# mis"nderstood# and never
listened to. ,here yo" eel yo"r man co"ld really care less a!o"t
yo"r eelings and needs. -on*t eel !ad# yo"*re ar rom the irst
woman to eel that way# as '*m s"re yo" know.

'n act# ' wo"ld say the ma$ority o women are pretty m"ch in the
same !oat. As m"ch as yo"*re led !y yo"r hearts# entering the tides
o romance can !e perilo"s. '*m going to show yo" $"st how easy it
is to not only traverse those tides# !"t do it in s"ch a way as to
allow yo"r .rince Charming to do all the rowing and swimming or
6
yo".

A lot o it will entail learning new ways to see and "nderstand
yo"rsel# along with learning to "nderstand that h"nk o a man that
yo" ell in love with. This way# yo" don*t end "p eeling yo"r prince
t"rned o"t to !e a warty# old toad.

My goal is to simply lay o"t the steps that will work in getting yo"r
man to give yo" his !est.

't all !egins with a little thing called /emotional comm"nication0. 1h
s"re# ' know yo"*re aware that talking is important to any
relationship and interaction !etween people.

,hat yo" may not reali2e# tho"gh# is that it*s oten a com!ination o
how the person is comm"nicating# as well as the a!ility o the
person on the receiving end to "nderstand what*s !eing said. This
can make all o the dierence.

To give a simple analogy# let*s say yo"*re making a cake. Now# i yo"
add vinegar to the recipe# instead o milk# or s"!stit"te too m"ch
salt or s"gar# the cake isn*t going to t"rn o"t pleasant at all and will
pro!a!ly have to !e scrapped altogether.

't*s m"ch the same way when it comes to getting yo"r man to give
yo" what yo" want and desire. The proper 3ingredients* mi4ed in
$"st the right way# will make the perect or near+perect relationship.

Right now# ' won*t get into what*s !ehind the 3recipe* o !ringing
a!o"t the res"lts yo" want in a relationship5 whether that
relationship is something yo"*re looking orward to# one yo"*re
already in# or may!e yo" $"st want the knowledge o how to
interact with the opposite se4. As everyone knows# it takes a good
cook to make a recipe work.

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,hat yo" want here is a man who*ll not only do everything in his
power to please yo" !"t will keep yo" swept o yo"r eet.

6et*s !egin with the core steps to getting what yo" want. 7irst o#
!y learning these steps and how to implement them# yo"*ll also !e
!ringing o"t the !est in yo" as a woman. Not so m"ch in a craty
way# !"t in the way that allows yo" to "se what*s !est inside o yo"
in order to !ring o"t the !est in a man# to make him want to do
whatever it is yo" want and not only that# !"t in a way that he
thinks it*s all his own idea.

Ater yo" learn these steps and ind o"t how s"ccess"l they are#
and how they really do it into the 3woman* that is tr"ly yo"# yo"*ll
never want to go !ack.

6ater# '*ll !e going over $"st why these steps work# !oth as a nat"ral
means o comm"nication rom yo"# as well as the most invol"ntary
manner or yo"r man to respond to. ' will show yo" how this can !e
done with the a!sence o nagging# !egging# pleading# hinting# or
any o the things yo" might otherwise think wo"ld work.

8
Section 1
The old methods dont work=
6et*s !egin this irst section !y pointing o"t the things which don*t
work anymore. Here are the two most common ro"tes women take
when they want a man to do something or them.

Ro"te 89 +Tr&in# to convince &our man5

,omen have this inner !elie that i they can $"st e4plain their
sit"ation to a man# he will somehow get it:

;"ess what< 't doesn*t really work that way. (o" can never make
him "nderstand yo"r sit"ation when yo" try too hard to drill yo"r
point into his head. 'n act= The harder yo" try# the "rther he will
distance himsel rom yo".

Ro"te 8& +Tr&in# to ar#ue &our wa& into his head5

,hen convincing him doesn*t work# women may take the second
ro"te# which is to arg"e or ight. 7inally# when things get really !ad#
they "se !lame and g"ilt to get their point across.

6et me e4plain this with a good e4ample:
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6et*s say yo"r man is starting to get distant ) yo" ear that may!e
he is planning to leave yo". (o" irst try to "nderstand why he is
getting distant# !"t things aren*t making any sense# as a res"lt yo"
reak o"t.

Ne4t# yo" try to talk to him a!o"t it# yo" say things like
Hone&! ; dont know wh& &ou are avoidin# me like this> what have ; done? %re
&ou plannin# to leave me? Have &ou found someone else? ; need answers5

And yo" still don*t get the answers yo" need:Now yo"r an4iety is
starting to t"rn into rage:(o" eel that yo" deserve answers rom
him:And in the process yo" say things like:

;@m sick 8 tired of not #ettin# answers from &ou5 'ou arent pullin# &our
wei#ht in this relationship= ; feel like ; am doin# all of the work5 %ll &ou care
about is &ourself=

And this is a ma$or mistake# which can literally shake the o"ndation
o a relationship. ,hen yo" "se this approach# a man only eels
attacked# and his irst reaction is to get even more distant to avoid
conrontation.

't*s important to "nderstand that yo" can*t hold a g"n to his head )
make him get it. (o" are ollowing an "tterly hopeless strategy i
yo" think that yo" can.

-on*t lose hope:There is a !etter way + There are things yo" can
do ) say which will nat"rally make a man want to open "p to yo"#
give yo" all the love that yo" need# and !e devoted to yo" or the
rest o his lie.

%eore ' share the psychological tactics# ' need to point o"t that
respect ) appreciation are the two most important motivators or a
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man. 'n act= These are so strong that they can make a man do
"nthinka!le things at times. A man will do almost anything in his
power to get respect ) appreciation rom a woman.

A man "s"ally preers to !e respected rather than loved. ,hen
given a choice !etween respect ) love# men always choose respect.
't*s not something which is within their control. 't is em!edded deep
within their s"!+conscio"s mind# and they act !y dea"lt whenever
their sense o pride is at stake.

This desperate need or respect is so power"l that i yo"r man
doesn*t get it rom yo"# he will start looking or it rom someone
else. This is "s"ally the main reason why men cheat. Most women
eel that men do it or se4# !"t otentimes the reason is m"ch
deeper than a physical need: it*s "s"ally emotional dissatisaction
which pers"ades a man to cheat on his girl.

Now that yo" "nderstand the core driving orce that yo" can "se to
yo"r advantage# let*s p"sh him into action. Now# it*s time or a
tactical approach ) ' will show yo" the ways in which yo" can p"sh
his secret hot button.

11
Section 2
The power of positive expectations!
Here is how to push his secret hot button
-o yo" know that men never do anything when they are told or
orced to do it< 'n act# the >"ickest way to get a man to say 3No* to
anything ?well# and a woman too@# is or him to eel like he*s !eing
orced into something. However# they will act"ally ollow thro"gh i
they are e4pected to do it.

A man will act"ally alter his actions !ased on how he*s e4pected to
perorm. 't*s called acco"nta!ility# and yo" hold the key to the
power that inl"ences him to do more o the things yo" want him to
do. ,hen yo" state things in s"ch a way that he eels acco"nta!le
to yo"# he will rise to the occasion every time.

A man*s !rain is wired to !e the most receptive to appreciation and
praise especially i it*s gen"ine. Thereore# when yo" "se these
two triggers# yo" can make him do a lot o things and inl"ence him
to yo"r way o thinking# witho"t coming across as p"shy. The last
thing yo" want is or him to see yo" as a nagging witch.

So letAs say yo" want him to do something special or yo"r
anniversary.

'nstead o saying + Honey= ,hat do yo" have planned or o"r
anniversary<

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1r worse yet#

Honey= -o yo" have any plans or o"r anniversary this year<

'nstead# say something like this + Honey= ' love how yo" s"rprised
me on o"r anniversary last year. ' !et yo" have something even
more ama2ing planned o"t this year. ' can*t wait to see what it is=

NoteB Cnowing how men sometimes have diic"lty remem!ering
things# yo" might try this a week or so ahead o time# or may!e
even the day !eore. (o" co"ld say:

Sweetheart# ' know yo" want to s"rprise me# !"t co"ld yo" at
least let me know what ' sho"ld wear tomorrow or o"r
anniversary< '*d really like to !e prepared or yo".0

And !am= Dven i he wasnAt planning on doing anything special# now
he will go o"t o his way to make s"re he has something planned.
' nothing else# yo"*ve let him know how happy yo"*ll !e# and he*ll
want yo" to !e over$oyed.

(o"*ve indirectly told him /HOW YO !"#!CT H$% TO
#!R&OR%'. As h"mans# all o "s s"!conscio"sly try to live "p to
the e4pectations others have or "s. ,e don*t want to disappoint
them at any cost and this holds especially tr"e o men.

Thereore# the last thing yo"r man wants is or yo" to eel
disappointed when the anniversary date arrives. He knows yo"*re
looking orward to it and have high e4pectations. Thereore# he will
do everything in his power to live "p to those e4pectations# even i
all he can do is s"rprise yo" with a !o4 o s"shi# a do2en roses# and
chocolates.

This same method can !e "sed or all sorts o e4periences. (o" can
"se this same method to stop yo"r man rom lying to yo"# even i
yo" eel that he has !een lying to yo" or what seems like an
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eternity.

'n order to make this work# try saying this to yo"r man:

Honey= ' was speaking to an old riend today and she was
complaining a!o"t how her !oyriend lies to her all the time. Can
yo" imagine< '*m so glad we aren*t that co"ple. ' love the act that
yo"*re always open ) honest with me# "nlike other men. 't*s one o
yo"r !est >"alities that ' admire a!o"t yo"=

Now# !e s"re to keep a straight and honest ace when yo" say this#
even i yo" know it*s not tr"e. (o" want him to !elieve this is what
yo" e4pect rom him# and really (ould appreciate# witho"t p"tting
him 3"nder the g"n#* so to speak.

Dven i he was lying to yo" all this time# he will stop. The act that
yo" !elieve he is an honest person will keep him rom lying to yo"
ever again. He will (ant to live "p to that e4pectation at all costs.
Can yo" imagine some o the looks on the aces o his riends who
may know a!o"t the times that he lied to yo"# has !ragged a!o"t it#
and then )oom# he stops< .riceless# '*m s"re= No more sneaking
o"t or !eers with the !"ddies and not telling yo". 't*s like magic=

(o" can even "se this method to cheat+proo yo"r relationship= '
yo" worry that yo"r man might cheat on yo"# try saying something
like:

Honey= ' met Amy today# and she was so heart!roken to discover
that her h"s!and cheated on her. ,hile listening to her# ' was
thinking a!o"t yo" and how good and honest yo"*ve !een with me.
' know yo"*re not the kind o a man who wo"ld ever cheat on me. '
love yo" soooo m"ch or making me eel sae like that=

Then give him the !iggest !ear h"g ever= That will seal it# or s"re.
There*s $"st no way he*s a!o"t to !reak yo"r heart like that other
$erk did with Amy. Remem!er# appreciation and respect# are top
priorities or a g"y.
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Dven i someday he eels tempted to sneak !ehind yo"r !ack# he
will remem!er this and stop himsel. The message will !e engraved
in his !rain.

%"t this orm"la only applies to some sit"ations# what a!o"t when
yo" need him to do something or yo"< 'n section three# ' will give
yo" a step+!y+step orm"la which works in $"st a!o"t every
interaction with a man.

15
Section
The !ormula !or "ettin# Him To $o
%n&thin# 'ou (ant=
The se>"ence o the techni>"es !elow is o little importance.
Sometimes "sing only one techni>"e will get yo" the desired
o"tcome. (o" $"st have to pick one or a com!ination o these#
which !est applies to yo"r sit"ation.

*+ $dentify (hat you (ant.
,+ -uggest an action the right (ay.
.+ /s0 him to ma0e a small commitment before a bigger
one.
1+ Re(ard 2 punish theory.
3+ Remind him of ho( he4s supposed to behave.

1 A ;dentif& exactl& what it is &ou want> and keep it simpleA one re7uest at a
time

7or heaven*s sake# don*t overload the poor man. Men# in general#
ind it very diic"lt to oc"s on more than one iss"e at a time. '
they*re in any way predisposed to e4pect any type o overload rom
yo"# well then# the simpler yo" keep it# the !etter.

E"st remem!er= ' he does e4pect a lot o drama# making it simple
may leave him a !it l"!!ed or a !it. And whatever yo" do# don*t
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start with something rivolo"s and "nimportant that has nothing to
do with the 3real* reason yo" want to talk to him.

Men hate that + donAt yo"< ' yo" try to get to the point in an
indirect manner# yo"*ll lose his attention !eore it ever gets there=
Ne4t thing yo" know# yo" might as well !e talking to the !ack o his
head. Here*s a list o some things most women want to talk a!o"tB

Something which is tro"!ling yo" ) yo" wish to talk a!o"t it.

(o" want him to open "p or !e more honest a!o"t a certain
s"!$ect.

(o" want him to i4 something or do things aro"nd the ho"se.

(o" want him to give yo" something anything rom more
attention# to that really nice diamond !racelet or yo"r !irthday# or
may!e $"st a kiss ) a c"ddle.

2 A Su##est an action the ri#ht wa& b& usin# respect 8 appreciation5

'n order to eectively motivate him to action# yo" have to s"ggest
what he sho"ld do instead o telling him what to do. As a matter o
act# it may !e even !etter i yo" can ask him to do things !y
oering yo"r respectFappreciation as a reward.

7or e4ample# instead o saying#

Hey hon# the a"cet has !een dripping or a month now. Are yo"
ever going to get it i4ed<0

'nstead# try saying something like this...

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Hon# ' know how good yo" are at i4ing things. This a"cet*s !een
dripping orever# it seems# and ' $"st can*t seem to ig"re it o"t.0

%y saying it that way# yo"*re letting him know that yo" need him to
do something# and that yo"*ll !e so appreciative i he helps yo".
E"st !y ollowing this slightly altered strategy alone# will make him
say yes G times o"t o 9H.

A man really does want to make the woman he loves happy# and
when he does# it makes him happy# too. 't*s a win+win sit"ation or
yo" !oth.

Remem!er we*ve already disc"ssed that respect and appreciation
are some o the most important needs to a man and he wo"ld go
o"t o his way to gain yo"r appreciation at any possi!le cost< This is
where it all comes into action.

Try to come "p with all the possi!le things yo" respect and admire
a!o"t him. ' don*t mean in a orced or g"shy way. ' yo" show
yo"*re appreciation or a man in anything less than a sincere and
real way# he*ll pick "p on that and will eel yo"*re $"st mocking and
trying to play him.

Take yo"r time# i necessary# to think a!o"t the things he*s done
!eore or partic"lar attri!"tes that yo" honestly admire and like
a!o"t him. Men like to know that the woman they*re interested in
really likes them and can clearly see how m"ch he has done or her.

't*s not m"ch dierent# really# than the way yo" eel. (o" want to
know he appreciates yo"# really sees yo"# and likes yo" or who yo"
are and not $"st the physical attri!"tes that trigger an overload o
testosterone. All yo" really have to do is point o"t a >"ality that yo"
a!sol"tely adore in him.

7or e4ample
6et*s say yo" want him to tell yo" that he loves yo" more oten.
18
'nstead o directly saying

Hey= How come yo" never tell me how m"ch yo" love me
anymore<

Try saying Honey= ' wanted to tell yo" that ' eel really good
when yo" tell me that yo" love me. Thank yo" or caring eno"gh !y
letting me know how yo" eel.

And what happens ne4t< No pri2es or g"essing here5 he will say /'
love yo"0 more oten rom this point orward.

Here are more e5amples of pleasing (ords you can use to
trigger him to(ards action6

- ' really admire a man like yo".
- ' love it when yo" h"g me. Having yo" aro"nd and eeling yo"r
to"ch makes me eel so sae and warm.
- ' am so pro"d to have a g"y like yo" in my lie.
- (o" are very important to me. ' am so !lessed to have yo" in my
lie.
- ' know yo" can achieve anything yo" p"t yo"r mind to.
- Thanks or !eing a great !oyriendFh"s!and.
- ' love it when yo" s"rprise me.
- ' really need yo"r help. ' can*t do it witho"t yo".
- ' tr"st yo" with all my heart.
- 't*s ama2ing how good yo" really are at doing IIIIII ?insert
action@

A %sk him to make a small commitment before expectin# a bi##er one5

-o yo" know that# as h"mans# we tend to ollow thro"gh with a
19
!igger commitment when we have already ollowed thro"gh with a
smaller one< 'n other words# o"r nat"ral instinct is to remain
consistent with whatever we do# and it*s very diic"lt to change
mid+stream o what we*re in the middle o.

This can !e "sed very eectively within yo"r relationship. ' yo"
want yo"r man to do something ma$or or yo"# then the !est way to
get him to do it is to irst ask him to do something small.

6et*s say yo" want yo"r man to take yo" o"t to an e4pensive
resta"rant !"t yo" know that he is very likely to say /no0 i yo" ask
him directly. 'nstead o asking him or a !ig commitment# ask him
or a smaller one irst.

7or e4ample# say this

Honey= Can we please go o"t to eat tonight< '*m e4ha"sted and
eeling very stressed ) really don*t eel like cooking.

1nce he agrees and yo" two are getting ready:Say the ollowing

1h= ,hile we*re at it# how a!o"t we go to J(K resta"rant< 't*s !een
a while since we*ve eaten there. '*ve heard they have new special
items on the men".

He is 9H times more likely to say /yes#0 as he has already agreed to
a previo"s commitment. So# do yo" see how power"l this orm"la
is ) how yo" can apply it to other sit"ations with yo"r man<

The key here is to ask him or a smaller commitment ) gently
s"ggest "rther action. This way# even i he eels he has to re"se
?say# the !"dget won*t handle it this time@# yo" haven*t p"t him on
the spot and made him eel like he*s disappointing yo" i he says
3no.* Not only that# it*ll stick in his mind that yo" want to go to that
resta"rant# and he*ll pro!a!ly start making plans to take yo" as
soon as possi!le.
20

Here*s another e4ample# let*s say yo" want yo"r special g"y to take
yo" o"t to a show this weekend. Say the ollowing to him:

(o" know< There*s this really good show this weekend# and '*ve
!een $"st dying to see it. .erhaps we co"ld go together# and then
go o"t to that really nice $a22 !ar yo" took me to a co"ple o weeks
ago. ' know '*d really like that.0

-on*t ask him i he thinks that wo"ld !e a good idea. 'n act# don*t
even ask him what he thinks a!o"t that. (o" might $"st t"rn and
look at something else instead o him# almost as i yo" said it in
passing# and not say another word.

This gives him the opport"nity to consider what yo"*ve said and to
decide i that*s what he wants to do. And s"re eno"gh# "nless he*s
got something that weekend that he $"st can*t avoid doing# there*s a
solid !et that he*ll invite yo" o"t to go to that very show. He*s not
a!o"t to miss o"t on the $oy he*ll give yo" !eca"se he knows that
yo"*ll appreciate it.

*A .eward 8 <unish Theor&5

Now let me show yo" how yo" can train yo"r man properly. The
trick is very simple and is oten overlooked !y most women. -id yo"
know that it*s yo"r $o! to train yo"r man on how yo" wish to !e
treated< He won*t tell yo" this# o co"rse# !eca"se conscio"sly it*s
not something he*d admit even to himsel. Nevertheless# it*s tr"e. '
yo" don*t train him# how will he ever know<

' yo"r man is doing all the things which yo" a!sol"tely hate ) yo"
can*t seem to make him stop# then sometime in the past# yo" let
him get away with s"ch acts !y either ignoring it or letting him
indirectly think that yo"*re okay with it.
21

So# the key is to reward him more when he does things which
please yo" ) p"nish him when he does things that yo" dislike.
NoteB ."nishment doesn*t mean sending him to the dogho"se or
!erating him. That never works= So# don*t get e4cited and r"sh o"t
to !"y red dye to "se on all his whites or do anything in retaliation#
instead "se the ollowing points...

Rewards can !e given in two orms
*+ !motional re(ards These incl"de showing appreciation# love#
respect# and attention. This is what yo" sho"ld oc"s on irst and
oremost. Remem!er# more !ees are ca"ght with honey# and the
same applies to h"mans. ,e all respond !etter to positive
reinorcement.

,+ #hysical re(ards These consist o giving yo"r man a h"g#
kiss# or se4 when he ollows thro"gh with an action. 't co"ld even
!e giving him a oot massage # or a r"!down in the t"!. This way#
yo" can make it "n or the !oth o yo".

7or e4ample ' yo" love the act that yo"r !oyriendFh"s!and
!rings yo" lowers ater work# then yo" sho"ld reg"larly praise this
action !y saying:

Honey= ' love the act that yo" !ring lowers or me daily# it tr"ly
makes my day=

Conse>"ently# in time# he is more likely to contin"e this action
!eca"se he is !eing rewarded or it. 1n the other hand# i yo"r man
leaves his clothes all over the place ) doesn*t organi2e anything#
instead o cleaning "p ater him# try stating the ollowing:

Honey= ' need to let yo" know that it*s really diic"lt or me to
organi2e yo"r clothes every day ater yo" leave. ' wo"ld love to do
it or yo"# !"t ' can*t do it every single day.
22

And then# stop doing it or him. 6et him know that yo" aren*t okay
with his actions ) e4pect him to change.

Altho"gh not a direct p"nishment and spoken with respect# he*ll
nevertheless notice the conse>"ences or this action and will s"!+
conscio"sly try to correct it# as >"ickly as possi!le. ' he doesn*t#
yo" might also try something like having crackers and cheese or
s"pper several nights in a row# while apologi2ing that yo" were so
!"sy picking "p ater him# yo" didn*t have time to i4 a proper meal
like yo" wanted to.

Again# and this !ears repeating# this is not manip"lation or !eing
tricky. 't*s "sing sensi!le means to accomplish what is needed to
instill change in his !ehaviors.

2A .emind him of how hes supposed to behave5

This step is the cherry on top o everything yo"*ve learned so ar.
Lsing this step alone will give yo" an "nparalleled power to n"dge
yo"r man towards an action which pleases yo".

6et*s say yo"r man is starting to take it a !it easy# la2ing a!o"t )
not giving yo" the special treatment he gave yo" in the past.
'nstead o !eing direct a!o"t it# try saying the ollowing

Honey= ' know that yo" care a!o"t me deeply ) have !een so good
to me. ' tr"ly admire that >"ality in yo". However# lately yo" seem
a !it distant5 this isn*t like yo"r "s"al sel. 's there something
wrong<

This way yo"*re not only reminding him o how he "sed to treat
yo"# !"t yo"*re also indirectly letting him know that he needs to
correct his c"rrent !ehavior !y reminding him o how things "sed to
!e. Ceep in mind to say it as stated a!ove. -o not harp a!o"t the
23
past and make him eel !ad. This never works=

1ering "rther appreciation will only enhance yo"r relationship.
S"rely yo"r mother ta"ght yo" to say 3thank yo"* or anything
someone gives to yo" or does or yo"# and this is no e4ception.
The more yo" show yo"r appreciation to a man or the things that
he does that yo" en$oy# the more he*ll !e willing to do or yo". %e
s"re to show appreciation or even the little things s"ch asB opening
a door or yo"# taking yo"r hand when going into the theatre# or
p"lling o"t a chair or yo". This signals yo"r man to keep on doing
these actions that yo" consider to !e positive.

Men love to please the woman they*re with. They love to do it even
more i they can see# hear# and eel that she really appreciates them
or it. Conversely# i a woman is always !eret o praise# !"t all+too+
genero"s with criticism# a man will start to eel re$ected# "nloved#
and "nwanted and ater a while. He will wonder why in the world
she stays with him# i she really eels like he*s a dolt=

So# or every re>"est or s"ggestion that yo"r man ollows thro"gh
with# and even or the things he does witho"t yo"r asking# !e more
than genero"s with yo"r 3thanks*# whether it*s in the orm o words#
a nice meal ?men always love that=@# or whatever activity that yo"
know he en$oys doing. (o"r thanks in ret"rn or that# will !e even
more attention and appreciation reciprocated to yo"=

Now# it*s time to p"t what yo" have learned into action. 6et me
show yo" how yo" can integrate these steps in yo"r daily dealings
with any man ) always come o"t on top:

6et*s say yo"r man has !een ignoring yo" a lot lately and is always
too involved in his work. And yo" want him to spend a ew
moments o his day with yo". Most women wo"ld !e direct a!o"t
this and go a!o"t it in the ollowing way:

24
!5ample

Woman How come yo" never spend time with me anymore<

%an Can*t yo" see '*m !"sy< ' have a lot o work to do.

Woman (o" are always working:'t seems as i ' don*t even e4ist
in yo"r world.

%an Can*t yo" see why ' work so hard<

Woman Seems like yo" don*t really love me anymore:

And this is where "seless arg"ments start and !oth parties end "p
highly r"strated.

Here is a really cool secret 'n order to !e "nderstood# yo" have to
irst "nderstand. 'n other words# yo" have to show yo"r man that
yo" "nderstand his sit"ation irst# !eore yo" e4pect him to
"nderstand yo"rs. ,hen yo" give it# yo" always get it !ack ten+
old.

1nce yo" "nderstand his sit"ation ) show "nconditional love and
respect:He will chill o"t and eel sae eno"gh with yo" and will
crave catering to yo"r needs# witho"t any resistance. (o" will have
him on a short leash# as he*ll eel like he*s the one in control# and
yo" will relish in yo"r secret methods.

Here is an e4ample o how do accomplish this in the correct
mannerB

!5ample

25
Woman (o" know ' am really l"cky to have yo" as my mate.
(o" work so hard to provide me with everything. ' $"st wanted to
let yo" know that ' really appreciate everything yo" have done or
me.

%an Thank yo" very m"ch:' am glad to have yo" in my lie as
well.

Woman ' am really sorry i ' am dist"r!ing yo":%"t ' $"st elt
like spending some time with yo" today:%"t i yo" are !"sy# we
can do this later.

%an 1h honey= ' am glad that yo"*re s"ch an "nderstanding
woman. '*ll tell yo" what:' am almost done with this pro$ect:;ive
me a co"ple o ho"rs and then we will go o"t to eat today. So"nd
good<

Woman So"nds .erect=

-o yo" see how yo" can t"rn a diic"lt sit"ation into an easy one#
$"st !y making a ew ad$"stments with yo"r words<

This sort o comm"nication isn*t manip"lative# yo"*re $"st "sing the
eminine /yo"0 that triggers his a!ility to respond in a way that can
tr"ly please and make yo" happy# which makes him happy too.
Ater all# that*s what he*s wired or. 1nce yo"*ve shown him yo"*re
the one he wants# and he*s committed himsel# he*ll !e o"t to do all
that he can to provide or and make yo" happy. And the ne4t thing
yo" know# all yo"r girlriends will !e $ealo"s and wanting to know
yo"r secret.

26
Section *
+lockers , -.id 'our /an of $oubts and !ears0

No man will ever admit to this# !"t internally most o them are
insec"re ) have a ton o do"!ts and ears. Sometimes these ears
arenAt even conscio"sly known to them. Some o these ears can
keep a man rom oering his greatest sel to yo".

't might !e keeping him st"ck in a 2one o con"sion ) "ncertainty#
which i not resolved# will always keep yo" !egging him or his
attention. To e4plain this "rther# ' wo"ld like to disc"ss the topic o
commitment ) why some men are rel"ctant to commit.

%elieve it or not# men want to commit. They*re act"ally looking or
that love o one woman. ,hat trips them "p is that a lot o them
are dealing with their own insec"rities# ears# and do"!ts. They*re
araid to commit< ,hy# yo" may ask< They don*t want to !e
trapped# to ind themselves locked into a relationship with a shrew
o a woman# one who does nothing more than nag# gripe# and
complain# i they do anything less than what*s wanted. Here is an
e4ample o this con"ndr"m.

!5ample

He wants to come home ater work# kick o his shoes# lay !ack in
the recliner with a cold !eer# and rela4. 'nstead# yo" may !e
wanting some intimate time# or want or eel the need to complain
a!o"t the water heater not working# or may!e the electric !ill is
late. He*s not a!o"t to tell yo" these things# o co"rse.
27

%"t all the while# he*s waiting to !e ass"red that# i he commits# he
won*t !e taking on the !all and chain that keeps him locked away
rom his !"ddies and the things he en$oys doing. S"re# he loves
!eing with yo"# is having "n# or he wo"ldn*t !e there. However#
witho"t reass"rance# he may ind himsel st"ck in a 2one o
con"sion and "ncertainty# holding him !ack and leaving yo"
!egging or his attention.

(o"*ve !een with him now# or several weeks# may!e even several
months or a ew years# and yet it*s not going any "rther. (o"*ve
come ar eno"gh along to know that yo"*re in love with him# and
yo" know that he*s in love with yo". He respects yo"# took his time
3chasing* and winning yo" over. (et# he still holds !ack.

' yo" ask how he eels# and i he*s ready to move orward# he
might tell yo" that he*s 3not ready* or that kind o commitment yet.
The worst thing yo" can do is ask him or commitment or marriage.
'nstead# yo" want him to make that step# !eca"se then yo"*ll know
or s"re that it*s real.

.erhaps yo"*ve told him that yo"*re ready to settle down# to have
children# and may!e he*s even agreed that*s what he wants# too.
And yet# he*s still not popped the >"estion. (o" ind yo"rsel
!e"ddled# wondering why.

(o" need him to !e ready# to !e s"re in the act that committing to
yo" isn*t a lie sentence o no "n and games. Not only that# !"t let
him know that yo"*ll !e there or him. (o" will !e the loving# caring
woman he really wants and needs# witho"t !ecoming o those
needy# clingy women that can*t seem to ever give a man some
space.

Remem!er what it was like when yo" !oth met and how interested
he was in yo". .erhaps it was yo"r sel+ass"rance# the way yo"
seemed to have it all together or yo"rsel# the way yo" didn*t seem
to !e desperate to ind someone !eca"se yo" e4"ded this sel+
conidence and happiness in yo"r lie. (o" act"ally had something
28
to give# yo"r company# yo"r interest in him# yo"r own riends and
lie.

,hen yo" started going o"t with him# yo" were "n# yo" shared
times together witho"t any press"re# learning a!o"t each other and
sharing good times# rom the pi22eria and movies# to dinner at the
lake# to watching ireworks on the 7o"rth o E"ly. (o" pro!a!ly
didn*t even think m"ch a!o"t it at the time# and neither did he.

%"t now yo"*re ready or more# and may!e he is# too and $"st
needs a little !it o help getting over those last ears and do"!ts#
whether it*s the ear that he*ll end "p having to !e the sole s"pport
o yo" and him together. 1r# he may !e araid that he*ll have to !e
so involved with yo" that he never gets time to himsel. Dither way#
no matter what the ear# they are gen"ine eelings.

The !est thing yo" can do to help alleviate those ears# while
allowing him to !e what yo" need# !y committing# !y !eing ready to
s"pport yo"# !y contin"ing to want to !e with yo"# is to keep doing
what yo"*ve !een doing. As part o it# here are some speciics to
remem!erB

*. There*s a s"!conscio"s part o his !rain that*s holding him
!ack# and there*s act"ally a secret lang"age yo" speak that
can help alleviate the ears that he deals with.

,. 6isten to him and make it easy or him to conide in yo". .ay
attention= ,hen yo" notice that he may !e getting nervo"s
a!o"t commitment# especially i yo"*ve !ro"ght it "p# calm
down. 'nstead# yo" might say something like5

29
Sweetheart# ' know yo"*re concerned and we*ve already disc"ssed
this !eore. ' know yo" love yo"r /yo"0 time# and ' want yo" to
know ' love yo"# too. '*m not a!o"t tying yo" down and spending
every min"te with yo". ' "nderstand that each o "s wo"ld want to
have the reedom in o"r lives to contin"e o"r own interests apart
rom each other sometimes. That*s healthy or yo" and or me# and
' wo"ldn*t want it any other way.0

Then# give his arm an e4tra h"g# smile# and keep having "n at
whatever yo" were doing. The !est thing in the world is to give him
the space to decide and not p"t any press"re on him. At the same
time# it*s perectly normal to let him know how yo" eel.

.. The smartest thing to do is to show yo" are not completely
e4cl"sive to him. 1 co"rse# yo" are relationship+wise# !"t
show him that yo" have other interests. Act as i yo" still
en$oy his company# s"re# !"t act as i yo"*re not
3girlriendF!oyriend.* (o"*re not even considering
engagement or marriage. 'n other words# act like it*s not a
!ig deal. Take the press"re o o him.

-on*t !e at his !eck and call# go o"t with riends. '*m not saying to
!e disrespect"l at all $"st take yo"r lie !ack# and let him have
his. There*s a solid chance that i he really does want commitment
and really does want yo"# that*ll !e all he needs. 't*s not making
him $ealo"s# it*s not playing games# it*s letting him win yo"# and he
knows what that means. (o"*ve set yo"r !o"ndaries and yo"*re not
tying him down.

' he starts earing that he might have to provide or yo" inancially
!eca"se o this new commitment# yo" can say...

30
Honey= ' donAt !elieve that a man is responsi!le or providing
everything. ' $"st want yo" to know that# whether it*s inancially or
otherwise# we wo"ld !e in this together# and that it takes two to
tango.

Taking the time to "nderstand where he*s coming rom# and to
change how yo" approach that# will help him change his perception
and !e more open to commitment and less resistant.

The same applies in other sit"ations as well. The secret is to say the
e4act opposite o whatever it is that he*s araid o# in s"ch a way
that it doesn*t come across as trying to placate or play a game to
get what yo" want. 1nce he sees how gen"ine and real yo" are#
he*ll >"ickly let go o his do"!ts# no matter how !ig or small the
iss"e.

31
Section 2
How to tri##er his protector instincts
A man is genetically wired to !e a provider and protector o his
loved ones. 't*s a act and the sooner yo" reali2e this# the easier it
will !e or yo" to help him tr"st yo" eno"gh to want to provide and
protect yo". ,hat do ' mean !y tr"st< ,ell# there*s a lot that goes
into that# so let me contin"e.

'n prehistoric times# it was the man who wo"ld h"nt and provide
ood and shelter or his amily# as well as protect them rom
predators.

'n one orm or another# it*s always !een that way whether it*s the
man going o"t and inding a $o! to provide shelter and ood# instead
o h"nting# or protecting his woman rom any type o h"rt or harm
in other ways. (o" want him to eel this way toward yo"# to eel
that yo" want him to provide and protect. 't*s all part o the
encoding o !eing a man.

,hat works against that is the act that women nowadays are araid
to let a man take care o them# and ' don*t mean $"st inancially
either# !"t in other ways.

This is something that can prevent a man rom eeling close to yo"#
and it act"ally h"rts yo"# too. 7or instance# i he*s providing and
protecting# and he knows yo" appreciate and love him or it# he*ll !e
happier and will want to please yo" even more. 6et*s go over a ew
key points a!o"t the way when work.

32

*+ %en are natural leaders7 so let him lead...
This goes or men in general# especially when it comes to his amily
whether or not he*s president o a company# or in some other
high+ranking s"pervisory position at work. A man*s home is his
castle# and he needs to !e Cing. So# let him lead.

6et him pay or dates# decide where to take yo"# and let him drive.
Ask him or his opinion and advice# and when he gives it# don*t
critici2e or demean him or it. 't means a lot or him to know that
yo" respect his opinion and even want it. Most women are attracted
to strong men who e4"de strength and sel+control. Contin"e to
give him that respect and let him know yo" want him to lead and
that yo" look "p to him. Hence# his provider and protective mode
will remain strong.

't*s not that he can*t !e emotional and have eelings5 o co"rse he
can. -on*t yo"< As a woman# yo"*re strong# too. E"st remem!er
that yo"r strength is dierent than his. To help him !e the !est he
can or yo"# means letting him !e what he*s nat"rally meant to !e.
That doesn*t mean yo"*re any less# only that yo" are what yo" are
a !ea"ti"lly# reined woman who can tr"st him. 'n knowing this# it
will help !ring o"t the protector that he needs to !e or yo".

,+ /s0 for his advice8directions...
't makes him eel strong and worthy# and that yo" really do respect
him. He will eel that yo" e4pect him to know these things. 't gives
him a sense o inner satisaction that he is tr"sted and loved !y
yo". 6isten to his advice care"lly# and even i yo" don*t take it at
times# do so in s"ch a way that it never "ndermines him.

Seek o"t his eed!ack as one yo" honestly respect# $"st as '*m s"re
yo" did rom the !eginning. As partners in lie# it*s important that
yo" incl"de him and let him take the lead on matters o importance
to yo"# and especially to yo" !oth. So# don*t r"n o"t there to !"y a
new car witho"t asking him his tho"ghts irst.
33

.+ 9et him do favors for you...
(o" need to give him every opport"nity to make yo" happy# which
in t"rn it makes him happy in the process. He*ll eel more like a man
when he knows something he*s done has pleased yo". Never mind
that he doesn*t wash the dishes $"st right# or old the towels 3$"st
so*# i he oers# let him= And always show yo"*re appreciation#
whether it*s a smile# an e4tra h"g# or i4ing him something nice to
eat.

' he oers to open a door or yo"# let him. 'n act# when yo"*re in a
car# wait or him to come aro"nd and open the door or yo". 't*s $"st
one o those little things that help !oost his ego and make him eel
he has worth to yo".

May!e yo"*re one o these women who can change a tire all !y
hersel# or change o"t the car!"retor. 6et him= The happiness alone#
!y doing these tasks# will go a long way and will ena!le yo" to see
$"st how m"ch yo"*re loved.

1+ #rovide consistent verbal 2 emotional appreciation...
,hatever yo" do# even i yo"*re in a !ad mood don*t orget to
show him yo"r appreciation. Compliment him on his strength and
a!ility to provide or yo" and the amily. Tell him how sae yo" eel
in his arms. Tell him how his care and "nderstanding are some o
the things yo" really val"e in him.

' he oers to take care o the children to let yo" have an evening#
o"t with riends# don*t orget to give him a little time o his own
sometime# too. ,hen he takes the time to listen to yo"r concerns
and complaints# let him know yo" appreciate that as well. %e s"re
yo" take the time to listen to him as well. His eelings matter# and
sometimes he needs to vent too. Sometimes a man needs someone
to listen to the woes o his day. %e there or him i he eels like
"nloading. Lnless he asks# tho"gh# don*t oer advice $"st listen.
34
He*ll really appreciate yo" or it.

(o" don*t have to !e g"shy or p"t on a ront# mind yo". Ater all# i
yo"*re with him# then yo" o!vio"sly appreciate him or something.
The more yo" look or things to show appreciation or# whether it*s a
simple 3thank yo" or taking o"t the trash* or 3' really appreciate the
way yo"*re so care"l to pay the !ills on time*# the easier it will
!ecome. 't will event"ally evolve into his second nat"re and will
!ecome $"st a amiliar part o yo"r relationship# in which he can
rela4 in the "nderstanding o yo"r s"pport.

35
Section )
How to #ive him a sur#e of excitement
or tri##er positive feelin#s in him on command5
Now# we will get into some intense psychological concepts. ' want
to show yo" how yo" can easily em!ed yo"r image into his s"!+
conscio"s mind. This will !e accomplished in s"ch a way that
whenever he thinks a!o"t yo"# he will e4perience positive eelings.

7irst o# yo" want him to oc"s on good memories o yo"# rather
than negative emotions like the time yo" $"mped all over him or
!reaking yo"r !est holiday serving platter# or accidentally denting
the car on a post when he !acked "p. 'n act# yo" want to erase
those memories rom yo"r mind. The !est way to accomplish this is
to oc"s on the good times# which elicit positive eelings in very
tangi!le ways.

'n order to achieve this yo" have to say something along the lines
o +

' remem!er the irst time we met. Altho"gh it was only at a
meeting# '*ll never orget when yo" walked into the room# and '
co"ldn*t keep my p"lse rom racing. And when we shook hands5 it
was so electriying.

' co"ld tell !y yo"r smile and the light in yo"r eyes# that yo" elt
something# too. ,hen we talked# ' co"ldn*t help noticing how
handsome yo" were# and the way yo"r closeness seemed to ill my
36
senses# rom yo"r smell to yo"r intense energy. ' still get !"tterlies
in my stomach $"st thinking a!o"t it. ' was so e4cited when yo"
asked me o"t5 ' co"ld !arely stand. ' elt warm and tingly inside.

To this day# ' get warm and "22y eelings aro"nd yo". ' love yo"r
kisses# ' love how yo" smell# and ' love how yo" hold me. ' $"st eel
so !lessed to have a man like yo" in my lie. The min"te yo" walk
into the room# '*m always so happy to see yo".

Now# let me e4plain why this works really well and directly appeals
to his s"!+conscio"s mind. ,hen yo" walk him thro"gh a past
e4perience# it ills his mind with images and sensations where he
remem!ers the e4perience# the time# the smells# the environment
and $"st how very special it was and that he e4perienced all o this
with yo".

't co"ld !e anything rom going to a movie and sharing popcorn
and sodas# while yo" leaned yo"r head on his sho"lder. May!e it
was the time that yo" shared yo"r irst kiss. ,herever it was# ' am
s"re it was a magical moment or yo" !oth.

' yo" tell him a!o"t how yo" remem!er those times# it ad$"sts the
e4periences in his mind. 1nly now it !rings it even closer and
stronger as a memory !eca"se o yo"r own appreciative comments.
The longer yo"*re together# the more e4periences yo" !"ild# rom
anniversaries to special dates o"t# even times when he*s done
something or yo" like mowing the lawn.

His s"!+conscio"s mind will start associating all these positive
eelings with yo". 'n act= (o" will !e a!le to trigger these eelings
on command !y saying or doing a ew things.

7or e4ample try this E"st go "p to him# o"t o nowhere# and h"g
him tightly and donAt let go. He will pro!a!ly wonder what made
yo" h"g him all o a s"dden. Ne4t# gently whisper into his ear '
$"st wanted to eel yo"r warmth5 it makes me eel so good. 1r
may!e don*t say anything at all and $"st hold him.
37

'*m s"re he*ll eel all yo"r warmth and love in that tight h"g. Then
contin"e h"gging him or a while. 'n this way# he starts eeling yo"r
warmth# !oth thro"gh yo"r to"ch# as well as yo"r words. 't lights
"p a wonder"l# e4citing eeling inside o him. Another method is to
walk "p !ehind him while he*s in the recliner and give him a sot
kiss on the cheek or orehead.

These are the little things that let him eel yo"r love and aection
and !"ild "p that positive !ase so that when things don*t go so well#
he has those eelings# irst and oremost# to keep his spirits "p.

(o"Ad !e s"rprised to see how >"ickly yo"r relationship starts to
transorm and will see yo"r man going o"t o his way to do pleasing
things or yo". ' yo" can evoke positive eelings in a man# yo" can
do literally anything.

38
Section 1
How to comfort &our man the ri#ht wa&

(o" may not reali2e it# !"t there are times in any relationship#
especially !etween a man and woman# where how yo" react#
respond# and interact with him can either strengthen yo"r !ond# or
ract"re it. Thereore# it*s critically important or yo" to know what it
is a man that a man may !e going thro"gh and !e prepared or all
sit"ations.

1ne ma$or area is how yo" deal with yo"r man*s mood swings. ,e
all know women have their mood swings# a lot o them !eing !ased
on hormonal changes. ,hat yo" may not know is that men go
thro"gh mood swings# too. ,hat yo" do need to reali2e is that how
yo" "nderstand and deal with these moods can either deepen his
love or yo"# or p"sh him away.

't*s all "p to how yo" !ehave whenever he is going thro"gh one o
these moods. As a woman# and especially the one he*s closest to#
yo" hold the power to lit "p his spirits# or !"rden him down even
"rther. ,hat yo" want to do is oc"s on yo"r reactions to see i it
makes him eel !etter or is it $"st adding "el to the ire<

(o" don*t want to get yo"r wires crossed. ,hat yo" think sho"ld !e
helping and pleasing him# may otherwise $"st !"rrow "rther and
deeper into his skin and not in a good way. ' yo" !"rden him
with !ad eelings# he will s"!+conscio"sly eel like distancing himsel
39
rom yo".

As we have already disc"ssed in the irst section o this program#
men aren*t "s"ally very vocal a!o"t their eelings or what*s going on
in their mind. Sometimes# they*ll say they*re ine when they*re
act"ally !"rning "p a!o"t something deep inside.

This is when it*s imperative that he has someone who will
"nconditionally s"pport him. 'n order to do this s"ccess"lly# it*s
important to "nderstand those mood swings# the daily ones# as well
as those that $"st pop "p rom whatever partic"lar stress or
occ"rrence happened that day.

1k# now down to the nitty+gritty o those times when something
$"st isn*t right and yo" know it. (o"*ve noticed that little glower and
rown that "rrows his !row and makes yo" eel like a small storm is
!rewing. 1r# perhaps yo" were in the middle o a c"ddle+session on
the co"ch# and he $"st "ps and walks away# no e4planation or
anything# c"tting yo"r c"ddle time short. (o" will pro!a!ly ass"me
that it*s something yo" did or said. That*s h"man nat"re to !lame
onesel.

7irst and oremost# let him !e. ;ive him some time and space. -on*t
take it personally. Dven i it is something that yo" said or did# most
o the time# it*s pro!a!ly not that important# and he may $"st need
time to deal with it !eore he shares with yo" what*s !"gging him.

Dven i he doesn*t tell yo"# chances are i yo" $"st give him the
space# he*ll deal with it and come !ack !etter than ever. -on*t p"sh
him to tell yo" what*s "p# as yo" already know that# as a woman#
yo" don*t want to oer sol"tions or advice anyway.

He*s a !ig !oy and knows he can work it o"t# and yo" need to let
40
him. (o"r goal is to show him yo"*re okay and have aith in him# to
!e his comort. 'n doing so# yo"*ll increase his love or yo" ten times
over. Here are a ew e4amples o the aorementioned conditions:

(o"r man comes home rom work# o!vio"sly stressed o"t rom the
day or whatever sit"ation he*s had to deal with co"ld !e traic#
co"ld !e a coworker# may!e the AFC stopped working and it*s one o
those ra22ling# smothering heat+wave type days. Here*s a good
e4ample o what not to doB

Woman ,hat*s !othering yo"=<=
%an Nothing= '*m ine.
Woman No# ' can tell something*s !othering yo"# $"st tell me=

As yo" might well imagine# this will only do"!le his stress# !y
adding yo"r stress to his# and he*ll eel that he*s !eing p"shed into
something he*s not ready to disc"ss. Now# consider the ollowingB

Woman Honey= 's something wrong<
%an No= '*m alright.
Woman 1h okay. ' $"st wanted to let yo" know that '*m here i
there*s anything yo" eel like sharing.

%y saying this m"ch# yo" let him know yo" noticed he*s !ent o"t o
shape# !"t witho"t p"tting any press"re on him to satisy yo"r
c"riosity a!o"t it# or oer a sol"tion.

This is e4actly the comort that he needs# which allows him to have
the space he needs to cope with the sit"ation. At the same time# he
can rela4 in knowing yo"*re not going to go o on him# demanding
answers he can*t really give or doesn*t want to.
41

Here are another ew e4amples o what to say and not to say:

%an '*m having a diic"lt time at work. That !oss o mine is
really a $erk=

What not to say ' always told yo" that*s a crappy $o!= (o"
sho"ld ind another=

What you should say '*m so sorry to hear that. '*m s"re yo"*ll
ig"re o"t a sol"tion soon.

%an :'*m tired and don*t eel like talking a!o"t it.

What not to say %"t how will ' help yo" i yo" won*t tell me<

What you should say ' completely "nderstand. ' hope yo" ind a
sol"tion to it soon# and '*m here i yo" need me.

Moving along# let*s now disc"ss the power o a woman*s to"ch. Are
yo" aware that men respond more to actions than words< This goes
way !ack to the comort his mom wo"ld provide him when he*d skin
his knee# while riding his irst !ike and past events o that nat"re.
Not >"ite the same as a kiss on a !oo!oo# !"t it works.

,henever yo" notice he*s stressed o"t# one o the !est things yo"
can do to comort him is to go "p to him# give him a gentle h"g and
kiss. Sometimes# even a nice warm evening at home with a sotly lit
meal and c"ddling se4 aterwards will do wonders to ease his
an4iety. He may not thank yo" or it# e4actly# !"t yo"*ll deinitely
42
strengthen that !ond with him# and also provide him with memories
he can take in the imagery o his mind# anywhere that he may !e.

Try this ne4t time that yo" notice that he seems an4io"s# stressed#
or angry a!o"t something. Ask him what*s wrong# then h"g him and
gently whisper into his ear ' know yo"*ll ig"re it o"t. '*m here or
yo" as always and love yo"= Then give him some space# may!e i4
him a hot coee# or his avorite chilled !rew. (o"*ll !e ama2ed at
how >"ickly he recovers and how his attraction or yo" will contin"e
to grow and grow.
Disclaimer:
' yo" go to approach him and yo" notice !y his !ody lang"age that
it might not !e a good time or even a h"g# then $"st >"ietly !ack
o and leave him !e. (o" deinitely don*t want to p"sh him "rther.
43
Section 3
How women unconsciousl& sabota#e their chan#es of #ettin# a man
to do what the& want
Several things can sa!otage a woman*s a!ility to get a man to do
what she*d like him to do# or !e. 7irst o# how she sees hersel and
her 3role* in a relationship. Secondly# how she perceives his what
she e4pects rom him. '*ll start with who women see themselves as
in a relationship. Ls"ally there are two types o women when it
comes to thisB

9. The needy# 3'*ll+do+anything* to please type woman# who thinks
she knows what it takes to make a man happy and wants to make
hersel happy. 6et*s $"st call this the As"!missive womanA.

&. The strong+minded woman# who*s not a!o"t to let some man tell
her what to do and is going to make damn s"re he knows what she
wants and is willing to do it.

1 co"rse# there can !e any n"m!er o com!inations o the two
together as well. %"t the act is# neither o these will work in getting
a man to !e happy with a woman# to want to commit to a woman#
in order to want to make her happy.

'n the case o the s"!missive# the willing to do anything to please
woman# will get her "sed literally i not a!"sed. ,omen like
this# "s"ally don*t have m"ch sel+esteem in the irst place. They*ve
!ased their whole worth and identity on 3having a man*# and
pleasing that man.
44

They co"ld have !ased this !elie on how their own mothers were#
perhaps# or may!e what they*ve seen on television# read in certain
!ooks or articles# seen in advertisements# may!e even in their
riendships with other women.

At worst# these women get p"nched aro"nd# literally# !y men whose
sole p"rpose is to do that !eca"se their women are never pleasing
eno"gh or them. At !est ?which still isn*t anything positive@# this
type o woman will end "p d"mped over and over again# ater the
man gets !ored and tired o her. She really has no identity o her
own or i she does# she chooses to >"ell it in avor o 3pleasing her
man.*

Dven i she isn*t d"mped or a!"sed# ater a while# she can*t !e
happy in that sort o sit"ation. There are even cases where a man
will allow 3his woman#* to totally take care o him "p to and incl"ding
s"pporting him while he sits aro"nd# scratching his !"tt# drinking
!eer# watching television and all the while complaining that he can*t
ind work# or whatever. No woman wants a loser like that=

Then# there*s the -trong+minded emale# who knows who she is# at
least when it comes to her desires# her s"ccess in the workplace#
and her a!ility to take care o hersel. She*s o"t to !e 3$"st as good*
as any man# and is willing to !ench+press to prove it.

So# rom the get+go# may!e even while dating# she str"ts her st"
as good as any man# to"ting her accomplishments and a!ilities# and
never really letting her g"ard down# so the g"y can*t do anything
or her. 'ronically# this type o woman can end "p with a leech m"ch
like the other woman who $"st wants to do everything or her man#
as mentioned a!ove.

Ater all# as the man sees it# she*s perectly capa!le o s"pporting
hersel and him. ,hy !other< Chances are# even i he does
anything# it will never !e 3as good* as her. ' it*s really a decent man#
tho"gh# chances are# he*ll walk away rom her.

45
Think a!o"t it# why spend the rest o his lie with 3another man<* '
he wanted that# he co"ld $"st room with a good !"ddy# and they
!oth co"ld spend their lives scratching each other*s !ack and not
picking "p ater each other.

That*s what g"ys do when they*re together5 it*s called male
!onding. He wo"ldn*t !e seeing a woman i that*s all he wanted. '
yo"*re already married and doing the alpha+po"nding+chest thing#
then '*m pretty s"re yo"*re happy how things are going:

,hether or not yo"r man is actively ighting with yo" a!o"t how
yo" want things done and chances are he isn*t# since he hates
conlict ?more a!o"t that later@# at the very least he*s not really
paying attention to yo"# either. 'n act# he*s as misera!le as yo" are#
and is pro!a!ly spending a lot o time late ater work# sh"t "p in the
garage# o with the g"ys# or whatever other thing he can do not to
avoid yo".

So# the irst thing yo" want to do is get a grip on yo" g"essed it
yo"rsel. Clear yo"r mind o any preconceived idea o trying to it
into some mold set "p to make yo" into something yo" don*t like5
the same goes or g"ys.

(o" don*t want to !e someone he can walk all over or a woman
who is nothing more than a maid and mother to his children.
Someone who has nothing to look orward to in lie !eyond darning
his socks and mending his shirts# or sweating over a stove night and
day to i4 him whatever it is he likes to eat# and receive little# i any#
appreciation or it.

(o" also don*t want to have to !e the one who*s 3in control* o
everything all o the time5 the one who makes all the decisions. 't*s
hard to !e perect &MFN# even as wonder"l as '*m s"re yo" are. And
really# do yo" want a man who*s a slave to everything yo" think yo"
want< ,ho has no real personality or character o his own<
.ersonally# ' don*t think so. And yo"*re more than that# so m"ch
more. So# here are some things to considerB

46
*. (es# yo" can !e all+power"l= (o" can have the 3' can do
anything* attit"de in the workplace or other areas# while at the
same time !eing a eminine woman or yo"r man.

,. (es# it*s okay to have limits and e4pectations within reason# o
co"rse. (o" deinitely don*t want to !e s"!missive. So# it*s great to
have yo"r own interests# riends and activities# apart rom a man#
which is also good or him. (o" $"st need to know yo"rsel and what
those e4pectations and limitations are# witho"t having to !e in
control o him to have them.

.. (o"# and '*ll stress this# -1N*T have to do anything and
everything he wants# or even let him decide everything or yo" and
yo"r lie# in order to please him or to make him want to please yo".

So# to concl"de this section# decide what it is yo" want and who yo"
are# and !e happy with that. That*s the irst step in heading toward
a wonder"l relationship with a man.

'n this way# yo" give him the antastic git that is yo"# while at the
same time# witho"t allowing yo"rsel to !e a!"sed or "sed in any
way at all. (o"*ll !e a!le to learn to respect and accept him or who
he is# as a man who can tr"ly en$oy the "ll# wonder"l# intelligent#
!ea"ti"l woman yo" are# witho"t giving "p an inch o his manhood.

47
Section 9
How to intensif& his attraction for &ou

7irst# let me de!"nk some myths that women have regarding
relationships...They !elieve that in order to get his "nconditional
love they sho"ld do the ollowingB
+ Agree with him more and disagree less.
No!ody likes a 3yes* man ?or woman in this case@# not even men.
(o" know the type# the person who will agree with yo"# even i they
don*t. This is the irstsign o a needy woman. ' g"arantee men
want someone who gives tit or tat# in a respect"l way and has her
own opinions.

+ Tries e4tra hard to please him.
't*s not as i yo" sho"ldn*t want to do things to please him and
make him happy. That*s completely normal. Here*s the thing#
tho"gh# when it comes to this and yo" ind yo"rsel 3giving in* $"st
to please him every single time# even when it makes yo" misera!le
than it*s time to stop. A decent man doesn*t want a doormat# and
he*ll respect yo" or having !o"ndaries o yo"r own.

+ Always agree with his views even when yo" !elieve they*re wrong.
Not only will this not attract him to yo"# it*ll act"ally ca"se him to
lose respect or yo".. 't won*t take long or yo"r special g"y to
reali2e the s"pport that yo" think yo"*re showing is nothing more
than a show. He wants a woman who has her own !elies and
48
knows how to comm"nicate them in a conident and respect"l way.

+ -oing special things or him all o the time.
S"re# he*ll appreciate it when yo" p"t orth that e4tra eort# cooking
"p a special S"nday platter or him and his !"ddies# while they
watch their aternoon oot!all game. That*s deinitely a !on"s=
However# i yo"*re always doing st" or him# and never give him a
chance to reciprocate "# yo" act"ally "ndermine his need to take
care o yo". As .l"s# it*s healthier or yo"# and him# i yo" oc"s on
and take care o some o yo"r own needs independently rom him..

+ Telling him how m"ch yo" love him over and over again.
Can yo" say# /!roken record<0 A man can only stand hearing this so
m"ch !eore he !egins to !r"sh it o and not even hear the words
anymore. A man deinitely loves to know his woman loves him.
,hat he doesn*t want is someone clinging to him like that*s all there
is in lie.
Ater a while# he*ll !egin to eel smothered# and s"ch a woman will
eel like poison to him. So m"ch that he*ll have to get away rom
her. Not e4actly what yo" had in mind# was it< 'n addition# the
event"al re$ection can !e devastating to yo"# especially when
yo"*ve p"t so m"ch oc"s on making him the core o yo"r e4istence.

These things won*t get him to ret"rn the avor. 'nstead it*ll make
him eel s"ocated and yo" will !ecome a !"rden to him in time. .
Remem!er# yo"*re his mate# not his mom.
Chances are i yo" do e4tra nice things or him all the time# it*s a
sign that yo"*re overcompensating in an attempt to ass"age yo"r
own ear that he*ll a!andon yo" some day. (o" don*t eel worthy o
him. ,hat yo" want to do is not only eel worthy o him# !"t also
make him reali2e how l"cky he is to have yo" in his lie## and to
49
remind him o that in a loving way# o co"rse.

' wo"ld like to show yo" how to keep yo"r man attracted to yo"
and how to make that attraction even stronger# to the point o no
resistance. 1nce yo" reach that point# he will never want anyone
else# !eca"se no!ody else will ever meas"re "p. And yo" can do it
>"icker than yo" think.
There*s an old adage /Men p"rs"e while women get p"rs"ed.0
,hether yo"*ve $"st met a man# or yo"*ve !een in a long+term
relationship or years# yo" need to keep that in mind. ' yo" don*t#
event"ally he*ll start taking yo" or granted. A man*s s"!+conscio"s
only works on pleasing a woman as long as it knows she*s never
completely his.
The possi!ility e4ists that there is always the chance someone
might win her away# or that she $"st might walk away on her own.
-on*t get me wrong. No relationship is in good+standing i there*s so
m"ch insec"rity that yo" do"!t the man yo" love is going to walk
away rom yo"# or vice versa.
(o" don*t want to trigger any sort o do"!t in his mind that yo"*re
deinitely his# and the ne4t !est thing to heaven or him. He needs
that constant challenge and the !est thing yo" can do or yo"rsel
and him# is to keep $"st a hint o that 3edge#* that mystery that
keeps him wanting and needing yo". He needs to always !e
protecting and providing or yo"# and to know yo" need that to
contin"e to want him.
The trick is to tease him in a way that triggers this genetic need to
p"rs"e and stim"late his eager yearning or yo"# on occasion. Make
it a game# witho"t poking "n at him. 'n this way# yo"*ll !e doing
him a avor shoring "p his appreciation or the val"a!le asset that
50
yo" are.. .l"s# it gives yo" a chance to hone yo"r eminine skills
and keep yo"r own mind sharp# so yo" don*t !ecome !ored and
take things or granted too.
The more enhanced yo" keep yo"rsel# the stronger yo" are as a
person and a woman. 'n ret"rn# he*ll appreciate yo" more and want
to do anything and everything to make s"re he keeps yo".
't*s important to catch his attention and provoke his mind now and
again# in order to remind him that he*s the one who*s s"pposed to
please and chase yo"# not the other way aro"nd. The min"te yo"
see he*s settling and seeming to take yo" or granted# is the same
time to consider that things may !e getting !oring in yo"r
relationship.
Men thrive when it comes to a challenge. 'n order to keep him
interested# yo" have to awaken him# especially d"ring these times.
'*m not talking a!o"t the hands+on+hips# /Hey= Notice me or else=0
type challenge that*ll make him r"n or the nearest e4it and hide o"t
or at least a month or two# !"t something more s"!tle# more
!ea"ti"l.
1nce yo" start doing this# yo"*ll have it down to a ine+art# in no
time and all# and it*ll soon !e second+nat"re to yo"# while !eing $"st
another thing that he*ll appreciate yo" or.
The ollowing e4amples are ways to accomplish the aorementioned
adviceB
9+ .resent yo"rsel as a pri2e to !e won -on*t orget that no
matter how long yo" and yo"r man have !een together. (o"*re $"st
as m"ch a pri2e and treas"re# i not more so# then when yo" irst
met.

51
S"re= (o"*re in a relationship with him already so he*s done the
winning part !eore and tho"ght it*s inished. (o" $"st need to
remind him o yo"r val"e# remind him that the 3winning* contin"es#
and is always worth it. (o" can do this !y ollowing the Connect+
-isconnect Theory.
Start !y s"rprising him. -o something o"t o yo"r normal ro"tine.
This will not only catch his attention# !"t it will also !righten "p
yo"r m"ndane world as well. 6et*s say yo" reg"larly go o"t on
weekends to a special place with each other. Shake it "p every now
and then#now !y adding a little spice and e4citement. Try saying
something s"ch asB
Honey= '*ve made plans with my girlriends or this weekend. May!e
we can go o"t ne4t weekend<
Then dress to the nines# while p"tting on yo"r !est attire and
make"p. ,ear those special strapped heels yo" haven*t worn in
months. ;et yo"r hair done and a manic"re. He*ll !e wondering
She*s going o"t like this to meet her girlriends<=<
,hy is she dressed so well< Dven i he gets all nosey and asks what
yo"r plans are e4actly# $"st smile enigmatically# while p"tting on the
inishing to"ches o yo"r lipstick: wait "ntil yo"*re headed o"t the
door# give him a kiss and say
1h# ' don*t know. ,e tho"ght we wo"ld $"st play it !y ear and
decide ater we meet "p. See yo" soon# and love yo"=
,alk o"t to the car# conident and sel+ass"red# and t"rn o yo"r
cell phone. .sst: yo" can check or voice mail or messages now
and then thro"gh the evening# !"t "nless it*s a dire emergency#
don*t call him !ack. 6et him wonder.
52
This will throw him o+!alance and e4cite his c"riosity# and he*ll !e
on pins and needles and waiting "p or yo" ?!e s"re to come home
3ashiona!ly late*@# wondering what made yo" dress "p to go o"t on
a simple o"ting with the girls. -on*t even think that this is
manip"lative. 't really isn*t= 't*s a perectly so"nd way to give yo"
some "n time on yo"r own and keep him attracted to yo". This is
$"st something that works# plain and simple.
&+ -elay gratiication sometimes This involves not giving into his
desires right away. 't*s not a direct# emphatic /No# '*m not in the
mood tonight#0 !"t an indirect challenge that will trigger his need to
work harder to get yo"r attention.
7or e4ample 6et*s say he wants to have se4 while yo"*re doing the
dishes ater a meal# or inishing "p the la"ndry. Heck# yo" co"ld !e
in the middle o yo"r avorite TO show or a movie.
'nstead o giving in# give him a little kiss# and then gently p"sh him
away and say
Alright= That*s all yo" get or now. 6et me inish this irst. Then
teasingly walk away or ret"rn to whatever yo" were doing or
watching.
The key here is to !e play"l and teasing# not serio"s. This triggers
his /' need to p"rs"e her0 craving in his mind ) he will want yo"
more and more. As h"mans we all want the things that we can*t
easily have# "s"ally the most.
;ive him access to a room# not the whole ho"se# i yo" will: a part
o yo"# !"t not the totality o yo" in a way that he eels there*s
53
never a challenge or "n to it.
That way his interest will always !e keen. (o"*ll !e s"rprised how
m"ch the passion and chemistry intensiies# and >"ickly at that. 't*s
a s"re+ire way to keep his oc"s on yo".
(o" have to stay val"a!le in his eyes# otherwise he will grow tired o
yo". This is a critical actor which will determine how /lively0 yo"r
relationship remains over the years. His intensity o attraction or
yo" will correlate with the val"e he places on yo" in his head. ' he
doesn*t val"e yo" or yo"r time eno"gh# event"ally yo" will see it in
his actions.
He will start ignoring yo"# taking yo" or granted# treating yo"
!adly# and stop listening to yo"r re>"ests. S"!se>"ently# yo"*ll eel
"nloved# disrespected# and "nappreciated. 't*s imperative that he
contin"es to see yo" as a val"a!le entity in his lie5 something that
he not only can*t do witho"t# !"t has to have. (o" have to !ecome
the healthy addiction that he can*t live witho"t.
Note The strategies mentioned a!ove work really well# !"t only
when done in moderation and at the right time. ' he*s stressed and
tired rom work# or ill# or oc"sed on something he needs to cope
with# that*s not a good time to "se these strategies. Lse yo"r
common sense when applying these methods.
.l"s# i yo" start playing hard to get all the time# he*ll not only !!e
annoyed with yo"# !"t will eel yo"*re trying to manip"late him. Men
don*t like 3games* like that anymore than women do. 't won*t take
long !eore he sees right thro"gh it5 so again# keep it in moderation
and always in a "n# yet teasing way.
Never stress him o"t thro"gh yo"r actions# and i yo" notice that
54
what yo"*re doing is ca"sing that reaction in him# change yo"r
strategy at once. Ceep in t"ne with his moods. E"st don*t orget
a!o"t yo"rsel and don*t !ecome $"st a 3toy* to him that he can play
with and then toss away whenever he wants. (o"*re worth so m"ch
more than that.

55
Section 14
1 bi##est male fears that ever& woman needs to know
'*m going to reveal the secret ears that no man will ever tell a
woman. To do so# ' have to give yo" an internal view o the male
mind so that yo"*ll inally !e a!le to "nderstand why men appear to
all o"t o love and s"ddenly !ecome so distant# or no apparent
reason.
,hat yo"*ll ind o"t is that nothing happens in the male world that
doesn*t have a reason !ehind it. ' he*s alling o"t o love and
planning to leave yo"# then it*s !eca"se something in yo"r words or
actions has triggered one o these secret ears. Cnowing this# yo"
can !e prepared and know what to do to prevent that.
%ale &ear ;* : &ear of being trapped6
N1 man will ever admit to this !"t the act is +he secretly ears that
i he makes the wrong choice in a potential mate# then he might
completely lose his reedom. 't*s the same scenario as trying to
cage an animal.
The animal will pace and pace and ight and ight the !ars and
gates !eca"se all he*s oc"sed on is trying to escape as >"ickly as
he can. Similarly# i a man thinks he*s st"ck with the wrong woman#
he*ll do the same thing.
His worst nightmare is !eing st"ck with a woman who takes over
56
his lie and constantly nags him i he*s not doing things she wants
him to do# e4actly as she wants him to do it. His mind $"st isn*t
wired to to deal with a woman*s potential dramatic episodes.
S"!se>"ently# he inds himsel overloaded# overwhelmed# and
needing to ind the nearest e4it ramp.
Things women do "nknowingly which triggers this ear in a man:
Trying to lead him or direct him in how he sho"ld do certain
things. Speciically# !ecoming either another orm o his mother or
his !oss. He doesn*t need the love o his lie or that. There are
ways to get him to do what yo" want !"t that*s already !een
covered.
Asking him to spend most o his ree time with yo". E"st as
yo"# as a woman# need her 3alone* time# a man needs ree time#
too. ,hether it*s stepping o"t with the g"ys to go h"nting# or to a
sports event# or whatever. He $"st needs that time. Accept it and
allow or it. 't*ll help yo" !oth.
Arg"ing andFor nagging to get what they want. Again# with a
man that*s $"st not going to work. 'n act# it*s the a!sol"te worst
thing possi!le or getting accomplishing anything. He*s not a child
and even children hate that= So# learn the strategies it takes to get
what yo" want in a way that he*s happy to give it.
%ale &ear ;, : )urden to solve her problems6
(o" might not have tho"ght o this one# !"t when yo" disc"ss yo"r
pro!lems or iss"es with a man# yo" p"t him in a position o eeling
like he has to do something. 't p"ts him in a 3i4+it* mode. Men are
nat"ral i4ers. 't*s what they do=
,omen# on the other hand# share their pro!lems to vent# whether
it*s $"st releasing steam or voicing them in a way that helps them
ig"re it o"t on their own. ' know it doesn*t make sense !"t a man#
when aced with any pro!lem# starts looking or sol"tions.
Sometimes# women only share their pro!lems to !e heard. This is
57
where yo"r own !"ddy system works. (o"r girlriends "nderstand.
A woman can !"rden a man !y disc"ssing her pro!lems and not
looking or sol"tions. The more a woman tells a man a!o"t her
pro!lems and iss"es and how m"ch she*s str"ggling with it# the
more !"rdened he*ll eels. Aren*t yo" the same way<
' yo" have a girlriend who always goes on and on a!o"t her
diic"lties# the drama in her lie# her man not picking "p his clothes#
or the kids never minding5 i that*s all she does# yo" get tired o it
too. ,hat do yo" do< (o" start trying to avoid that riend. .eople
can only stand so m"ch negativity.
A man is like that !"t even moreso.. Thereore# it*s really important
to let him know !eorehand that yo" don*t need a sol"tion rom
him# and yo" can handle it. 6et him know that yo" $"st want him to
listen to yo". A man is very sensitive to how emotionally dependent
yo" are on him. ' yo"*re too dependent# then he*ll start to eel
over!"rdened and search or ways to avoid or escape these
emotions.
Always complaining a!o"t one thing or another. The !est
thing yo" can do or yo"rsel# and him# is stop complaining. 't
doesn*t i4 or solve anything anyway. 't keeps yo" depressed# and
makes him depressed to !e aro"nd yo". Negativity pl"s Negativity
e>"als a whole lot o Negativity.
6etting an iss"e get rom !ad to worse instead o working on
solving it. ' yo" need help with coming "p with a sol"tion# !y all
means# ask him his opinion or advice. -one in the right way# he*ll
act"ally get an ego !oost and eel closer to yo" or it. Then go on
and solve the iss"e# so it doesn*t contin"e to !e something that*s
!ringing yo" down.
%eing in a negative mood most o the time. This its with the
irst one. .l"s# i yo" ind yo"rsel in a negative mood all o the
58
time# there*s a good chance yo" may need co"nseling or medical
help. .ay attention to yo"r moods and i yo" ind this to !e the
case# do whatever is needed to resolve it. That way# he*ll !e a!le to
!e there or yo" thro"gh it# witho"t it dragging him down# too.
%laming him or not listening to yo"r pro!lems or avoiding
yo". Dven i yo" notice him doing this# don*t !lame him. 'nstead#
oc"s on yo"rsel and what yo" need to do to make yo"rsel eel
!etter# or come across in a way that will not trigger this ear# and
keep him close and comorta!le with yo".

%ale &ear ;. : &ear that she might not ta0e care of herself
physically6
(es# ' know what yo"*re thinking= This one so"nds a !it selish=(o"*ll
discover ears which men never ever disc"ss with anyone and men
are vis"al creat"res# as yo" already know. They ear !eing st"ck
with a woman who won*t take care o her looks and health as she
ages.. No# yo" don*t have to doll "p all the time or work o"t like
cra2y# or even !e model slender.
A simple eort towards maintaining yo"rsel will keep a man
pleased. This isn*t only limited to physical looks5 it*s also inl"enced
!y how yo" carry yo"rsel and how yo" !ehave.
-on*t do things which co"ld disg"st him like leaving emale items
o"t in the open. Men act"ally love a vol"pt"o"s woman as m"ch as
a slender one# $"st as long as she*s healthy and takes care o
hersel. 't*s all in the attit"de# and making s"re yo" dress
appropriately or yo"r ig"re and keep yo"rsel resh and clean.
Not paying attention to how they look ) their sense o
dressing. %e s"re yo" keep yo"rsel clean and resh# and go thro"gh
yo"r wardro!e now and then to do some spring cleaning and get rid
o some o those old r"mpy o"tits or newer ones. -etails do
59
matter.
Telling their man that he sho"ld accept them the way they
are. This is tr"e in many ways# $"st as it is or yo" to !e a!le to
accept him or who he is. %"t# hey# yo" don*t have to accept that
he*s a slo! who never !athes ?or seldom@# leaves shaved whiskers in
the sink# and sits aro"nd in old# r"mpy clothes "ll o holes# as he
!"rps# arts and watches TO. %e the !est 3yo"* or him# too.
%ale &ear ;1 : &ear of losing financial freedom6
Again= This is one o those all+so+common+!"t+never+talked+a!o"t+
ma$or ears that every man e4periences when he*s in a relationship
or considering commitmentFmarriage. 'n order to properly e4plain
this# '*ll have to !e a !it !l"nt. As yo" pro!a!ly know# laws are
designed to contin"e providing or a man*s amily in case o a
separationFdivorce.
So !eore or d"ring a relationship# this ear or do"!t remains a
pressing iss"e in the !ack o a man*s mind that he has to contin"e
providing or yo" and the amily. He can*t help !"t think what might
happen in case there*s a divorce or separation5 hal o his assets
might !e taken away.
(o"*d !e s"rprised to know that this is one o the !iggest ears that
may prevent a man rom marrying a woman. So# it*s no wonder so
many men want their partner to sign a pren"ptial agreement !eore
the marriage. The !est thing yo" can do to ass"age those ears is
show that tho"gh yo" do depend on him or s"pport# yo"*re also
>"ite capa!le o taking care o yo"rsel when p"sh comes to shove#
and that yo" don*t mind doing that.
Asking him to !"y things or them. 't*s ok to ask him to do
those things. Ater all# a man who loves a woman will want to. E"st
don*t overdo it# and !e aware o his !"dgetary concerns.
Not having an active so"rce o income to provide or yo"rsel.
60
There are times yo" can*t always do that# especially i yo"*re !"sy
maintaining the home and raising and caring or several children.
E"st make s"re# !eore yo" marry# that he*s ok with that kind o
arrangement. And even then# it*s a good idea to have some sort o
small income o yo"r own to "se or those little e4tra e4penses.
(o"*d !e s"rprised at what yo" can do sometimes# with yo"r
creativity and skill set.

D4pecting him to take care o yo" inancially. There*s a
dierence !etween e4pectation and relying. A man wants yo" to
rely on him# that*s tr"e# and depend on him# in a healthy way. E"st
don*t "se that to p"t "nd"e press"re on him. ' he*s the one making
the sole income# let him eel ree to decide how it*s spent# with yo"r
inp"t certainly !"t make s"re it*s a $oint vent"re.
%ale &ear ;3 : &ear of being abandoned6
(o" m"st !e thinking ,hat< ,omen "s"ally ear !eing
a!andoned. 'n reality# men have this ear too and when they*re
a!andoned it can take them a long time to recover rom the pain.
't*s really diic"lt or a man to open himsel "p emotionally to
someone ) then have that same person leave.
1ten men# who have !een thro"gh a !reak"p where they were
d"mped# str"ggle with the a!ility to ever emotionally open "p to
another woman. They don*t want to go thro"gh that ever again.
The pain is even worse when kids are involved and they were
oicially married. Now# they not only lose emotionally rom the
!reak"p rom their woman# !"t inancially as well. Added to that#
the emotional !reak"p rom the kids adds even more to their h"rt.
%eing openly lirty with other men. There*s nothing wrong
with primping or yo"r man# and noticing that other men see it too.
%"t to openly lirt is every !it as wrong or yo" to do# as it wo"ld !e
or him to do with other women.
61
Not re+airming that yo"*ll never leave him. 6ive in s"ch a
way that he never has to do"!t that yo"*ll always !e there with him
and that yo"*re happy with him. (o" don*t have to pretend things
are perect no sit"ation ever is. %"t there are ways to deal with
those imperections that doesn*t have to trigger this ear or yo"r
man.
Comparing him to other men. ' there*s any comparison at all
to !e done# it sho"ld !e in a positive way never a negative one.
He sho"ld always !e aware that he*s the one yo" want to !e with.

%ale &ear ;< : &ear of losing control6
This is another ma$or male ear# reali2ing someday that he*s lost all
sense o control over himsel and the relationship. Things are really
!ad when he has to ask yo" or the things that meet his needs.
A good e4ample o this is when a man eels like he has to ask or
se4. Nothing can !e more demorali2ing. ' he has to ask# his worst
nightmare has come tr"e.
Another concern isthat yo" might not let them make decisions or
themselves and even sometimes or the relationship. Men like to
lead and are most comorta!le in the leader position. The last thing
they need is this very sense o control taken away rom them.
Avoiding se4 ) making him convince yo" to have se4 most o
the time. E"st as yo" want to eel yo"*re desira!le# so does he. ' he
eels like he has to always convince yo" or intimacy# event"ally he*ll
stop asking
Not letting him lead ) orcing yo"r opinions on him. 't*s ok to
share yo"r opinions# and sometimes even make yo"r own decisions.
%"t let the man do his own thinking and decision making# i nothing
else# with yo".
62
Trying to change him. This is a really !ig no+no. ' yo" eel
the need to change him# then yo" pro!a!ly sho"ldn*t !e with him in
the irst place. Remem!er# yo" love him or who he is. This r"le
applies to all working relationships.
%ale &ear ;= : &ear of not living up to your e5pectations 2
having his (ea0nesses e5posed6
' !et yo" didn*t think o this one did yo"< Dvery man has a deep
down desire to !e his woman*s hero. This is why it*s important to
constantly appreciate him ) show yo"r praise in words and actions
when he does something that pleases yo".
Men also ear that they aren*t good eno"gh or they aren*t living "p
to yo"r e4pectations. 'n s"ch a case# men will start leaning toward
their ight or light response. They will either work harder to please
yo" or completely give "p and sh"t down.
' yo"r man doesn*t seem to care# is distant# and all wrapped "p in
his own little world# there*s a chance he*s eeling "nappreciated and
"nloved. .lease reer to the part one o this program or more
details on this topic.
Not showing him yo"r appreciation o him. E"st as yo" don*t
like to !e taken or granted# don*t make that same mistake with
him. He needs to eel yo" respect and appreciate him.
.ointing o"t his mistakes. ,ow= 1k# it is one thing to indicate
something yo"*d like or him to do or not do in a loving way. %"t
!eing a constant nitpicker a!o"t every little thing he does or doesn*t
do# is not a good way to live and deinitely not good or him.
Telling him that he isn*t doing eno"gh in the relationship.
'nstead o telling him that yo"*re eeling alone or ignored# do those
little things it takes to get him to notice yo" again# which# in t"rn#
will instinctively make him want to do things with yo"
63
Section 11
(hat &ou sa& vs5 what he hears , 6nderstandin# the secret
lan#ua#e of men
'*m s"re yo"*ve !een in a sit"ation where yo"*ve said one thing to a
man# only to discover either !y his response# or later# that it was as
i he didn*t hear yo" at all. (o" were s"rprised# i not shocked#
thinking# /,here did he get that< That*s not what ' said=0 even as
yo" wonder what sort o planet he*s rom# or may!e he has a
hearing pro!lem.
%"t it*s really not that comple4. He*s honestly not an alien rom The
%ody Snatchers that*s taken over his !ody. So what*s really
happening here< ,ell# it*s not "ncommon or all people# men and
women alike5 to have diic"lty when another person doesn*t see
the world as they personally see it# !ased on any n"m!er o
elements.
't can !e anything rom c"lt"ral dierences# ed"cational dierences#
amily dierences# dierences in lie e4periences. And o co"rse#
men and women have their own dierences as it is# $"st !ased on
their genders and !rains. That*s where all the con"sion !egins.
Remem!er we*ve already disc"ssed that men are very insec"re )
need constant re+ass"rance rom a emale that they*re on the right
track and doing everything 3$"st right.* A man will either !e a
perectionist in trying to please his woman# or he*ll give "p
altogether and not care.
64
This can oten depend on whether or not a woman says something
in s"ch a way that makes him eel like he*s less o a man. ,hen
that happens# he*s most lia!le to sh"t down# leaving the woman
wondering what happened5 what went wrong.
To show yo" e4actly how a man*s insec"rity aects him# $"st
remem!er that at any given moment# and especially when
comm"nicating with a woman# a man is thinking +
/m $ good enough>
/m $ man enough>
/m $ pleasing you>
/m $ living up to your e5pectations>
/m $ reliable>
' know this so"nds strange# especially i yo" think a!o"t it. Most
times# yo"r e4perience teaches yo" that it*s women who s"er a lot
rom low sel+esteem and do"!ts d"e to their intense hormonal
shits and other sit"ational !ackgro"nds.
Now yo" know5men do too= 't all goes !ack to the act that every
man wants to !e a hero# whether it*s $"st in the respect and
recognition o what he does on a day to day !asis or his woman
and amily# or even at the oice where he grinds o"t the money
that s"pports them# or even with his !"ddies# showing o his
h"nting prowess and how well he can get thro"gh r"sh+ho"r traic
with the !est o them.
Now that yo" can "nderstand that# '*ll show yo" how it is that
whatever yo"*re saying to him may not !e what he*s act"ally
hearing. %y the time he*s iltered yo"r words thro"gh his constant
inner !arrage o sel+>"etions# it may !e a completely new and
65
dierent message altogether.
7or e4ample
What you say Honey= ,e*ve !een driving in circles orever.,hy
don*t yo" p"ll over and ask someone or directions<
What he hears 'diot= ,hy don*t yo" know the directions< Now
we*ll have to ask someone else. (o"*re "nrelia!le.
No wonder so many men str"ggle to ask or help or accept
g"idance rom someone else. 't*s !eca"se they secretly ear that it
will make them look weak or not good eno"gh.
Now let me give yo" some more e4amples:
What you say .lease stop it= ' don*t eel like having se4 today.
What he hears(o" don*t t"rn me on anymore.

What you say :.lease do it this way.
What he hears : (o" aren*t doing it right# yo" aren*t good
eno"gh. (o" need g"idance.

What you say ,hy don*t yo" listen to me anymore<
What he hears :(o" have ailed me as a man )aren*t good
eno"gh anymore.

What you say Nothing is ever clean aro"nd the ho"se. ,hy don*t
yo" help me o"t instead o $"st sitting there in ront o the TO when
yo" get home<
What he hears 't*s yo"r a"lt that everything is so messy.

66
What you say ' am so tired o my $o!# ' eel like >"itting.
What he hears 't*s yo"r a"lt that ' have to work.' yo" had a
higher paying $o!# ' wo"ldn*t have to work.
What you say : (o" orgot to take the trash cans o"t to the c"r!
this morning. ,o"ld yo" mind taking them down to the trash !in
down the street on yo"r way to work in the morning so they won*t
!e over"ll<
What he hears : St"pid# yo" orgot to take the trash o"t again.
Can*t yo" do anything right<
What you say : '*m s"re ' asked yo" to !ring some milk home
rom the store. ,o"ld yo" please go get it now< The !a!y*s really
h"ngry and needs it.
What he hears : (o" never listen to me.
What you say : The lawn*s really overgrown. -o yo" think yo"
co"ld please mow it this weekend<
What he hears : (o" la2y good+or+nothing. ,hy haven*t yo"
mowed the yard yet<
What you say : ' really wo"ld like to go shopping# !eca"se we
need some new things aro"nd the ho"se.
What he hears ' don*t care what yo" think# '*m going to go
shopping and spend as m"ch as ' can# !eca"se that*s what yo"r
money is or.
What you say : '*m going to go o"t with my girlriends this
weekend !eca"se we haven*t seen each other in orever.
What he hears : ' don*t want to !e with yo"# yo" $erk# so '*m
going o"t on my own to have "n.
67
See how dierent men really are# and how they can get a wholly
dierent meaning rom something yo" say< This is why it*s so
important PhowP yo" say something so that he can*t ass"me it*s an
attack on his manhood.
As "nrealistic as it so"nds# yo" really do need to somehow soten
the !low a !it more. A man is $"st a little !oy in a grown"p !ody#
and i yo" can somehow see that and still see the man# it*ll go a
long way toward helping yo" know how to deal with this.
7or e4ample
'nstead o saying .lease stop it= ' don*t eel like having se4
today:Say this
Honey= ' wo"ld love to have se4 with yo" !"t '*m $"st so
e4ha"sted. '*ve had a really to"gh day today. .lease don*t take this
as a re$ection in anyway# !eca"se !elieve me# that*s not what '
mean at all. '*m s"re i yo"*ll let me rest# '*ll !e ready and willing in
the morning. So# co"ld ' please have a rain check "ntil then< '*d
really appreciate it and '*m s"re yo"*d en$oy it way more then# too.
'nstead o saying + Honey= ,e*ve !een driving in circles orever.
,hy don*t yo" p"ll over and ask someone or directions:< Try this

Sweetheart# '*m $"st as con"sed as yo" are here# and can tell
yo"*re starting to eel as r"strated as ' am. 't*s hard when it*s an
"namiliar place# isn*t it< Tell yo" what# why don*t we stop here at
this station and see i anyone can help "s o"t<
'nstead o + ' am so tired o my $o!# ' eel like >"itting. Add this
Hon# '*m so tired o this $o! that ' eel like $"st "p and >"itting. '
think what '*ll do is starting looking or a new $o! right now. That
way# it*ll give me time to ind something that will it me !etter and
give notice.
68
Rather than + (o" orgot to take the trash cans o"t to the c"r! this
morning. ,o"ld yo" mind taking them down to the trash !in down
the street on yo"r way to work in the morning so they won*t !e
over"ll< Say this
,ow# hon# yo" m"st have had a lot on yo"r mind and !een in a
h"rry this morning to orget taking the trash o"t to the c"r!. ' tell
yo" what# do yo" think yo" co"ld take them to the !in down the
street# or wo"ld yo" rather ' do it< ' don*t mind at all. ?said with a
little smile# and giving him a warm kiss@
The act is# all o these !its o added "nderstanding will help
c"shion the words in s"ch a way that they won*t come across as a
personal attack against him. They are more likely to so"nd like
words o "nderstanding than criticism.
S"re# it takes a !it more o yo"r time and eort to think a!o"t what
yo" say !eore yo" say it# !"t consider that everyone needs to do
that most o the time# incl"ding yo"r man. (o"*ll improve yo"r way
o getting a point across# not only to the man yo" love# !"t to
anyone# and yo"*ll reap the !eneits o a m"ch more sec"re man.
,ho knows<
't may even c"re him o all those insec"re tho"ghts to the point
that even i yo" slip "p now and then in saying something# he*ll
act"ally "nderstand what yo" mean# and !e m"ch more receptive to
yo"r s"ggestions. Then yo" can score one more point on yo"r
$o"rney to the relationship o yo"r dreams.
69
Section 12
% bitter truth about relationships
' want to e4pose an old wives* tale a!o"t men and relationships
that has ca"sed a world o pain to millions o women worldwide.
That myth is this You get (hat you give. / favor is al(ays
returned.
So many women go into a relationship thinking that i they give "p
their all in every way possi!le# the man will do the same thing.
Somehow# they think that they m"st alter themselves to it his
world.
This may !e tr"e to some small e4tent# !"t the act is5 it*s this very
mindset that can ca"se a woman to s"er months and even years
o mental ang"ish and emotional pain in a relationship. And she
won*t even know it. She doesn*t "nderstand what she*s doing
wrong.
Tho"sands o women write to me all the time# saying ' give him
"nconditional love. ' do everything to please him. %"t he doesn*t
seem to care a!o"t me at all= ,hat am ' doing wrong<
How do ' make him love me !ack< ,ell# irst and oremost# as '*ve
said !eore# no!ody can make someone love them. (o" can*t make
a man love and want yo". He has to want to o his own ree will.
70
These women commit the classic 89 relationship error o the &9
st

cent"ry# and many other cent"ries !eore# even !eore women
!ecame emancipated thro"gh laws that gave them the right to vote#
the right to property# and so on.
%elieve it or not# thro"gho"t history# the most power"l women in
the world have !een those who "nderstood this one tr"th:
The person (ho cares the least controls the relationship. $n
other (ords7 the partner (ho is not scared of (al0ing a(ay
actually has the most control of the relationship.
'*m not saying that loving yo"r man is !ad or giving him
"nconditional love is !ad. All ' am saying is that i yo"*re st"ck in
the ha!it o giving all yo" have all the time and not getting anything
in ret"rn then yo"*ve t"rned things topsy+t"rvy.
(o"*ve p"t yo"r partner so high on a pedestal that yo"*ve trained
him to e4pect that rom yo" and that he doesn*t have to lit a inger
to get it. 'magine# i yo" can# a at slo! o a man reclining in ront
o the TO set# with the 3little woman* etching his !eer and chips#
and slaving over a hot stove to cook "p an appropriately hot meal
or him that he speciically likes# while at the same time keeping
hersel trim and in shape and ready or se4 at the drop o a hat.
He*s got it all=
Not only that# !"t he doesn*t have to do anything to have it# either=
A man*s paradise# right< Not really. 'n act# there*s a good chance i
yo"*re giving him all that# he may $"st !e 3stepping o"t* with
someone more challenging !ehind yo"r !ack.There are women all
over the world who have e4perienced that# m"ch to their total
chagrin and con"sion.
71
Men are very >"ick to pick "p on this weakness in a woman and to
take "ll advantage o it when it s"its them. A woman like this is
m"ch like a washrag5 yo" "se it while it serves and when it*s worn
o"t or yo" want another# yo" get rid o it.
That*s a hard and sad act# ladies. Darly on in the relationship a man
will test yo" o"t to see how ar yo"*re willing to go to please him.
How ar yo" go will "ltimately determine the val"e he places on
yo".
That*s the time when it*s imperative to draw yo"r !o"ndaries# and
to do so means yo" have to know who yo" are and what yo"*re
willing to accept and not accept. ' yo" don*t# then trying to
!acktrack and change things aro"nd later can !e very diic"lt# i not
impossi!le.
A relationship isn*t a inancial transaction5 it*s not a !"siness deal.
So# don*t cheapen yo"rsel !y making it that way. -on*t 3sell* yo"r
wares like some hooker on the street. ' yo" do# yo"*ll get e4actly
what he*s willing to give and no more and that won*t !e m"ch. %y
allowing yo" to serve him# in his mind# he*s already given yo" what
yo"*ve asked or.
Rather# it sho"ld !e a partnership !etween two individ"als who are
e>"als5 !oth strong and a!le to stand on their own two eet#
holding their own and having their own set o e4pectations and
desires. Anytime one partner gets more control than the other# it
dist"r!s the !alance o the relationship# and leads to someone
getting "sed and h"rt.
' yo"*re "ns"re a!o"t how yo"r man*s responding to yo" and eel
yo"*re the one doing all the work in the relationship# then yo"*ve
deinitely given that control away and yo"r man is the one r"nning
72
everything. As s"ch# whether yo" reali2e it or not# he*s at a point
where he*s already given yo" what yo" want the ideal sit"ation
that allows yo" to serve him and make him happy. He doesn*t have
to do anything else.
Now that yo" "nderstand what yo"*ve pro!a!ly done in error# how
can yo" change the sit"ation< 't starts !y changing yo"rsel. (o"
have to stop doing things that make yo" misera!le# that prevent
him rom !eing the man he*s s"pposed to !e# or himsel and or
yo":. ,hether yo" know it or not# !y doing everything or him# yo"
act"ally cheat him.
+ Stop doing special things or him all the time. 'nstead do
something special or yo"= ,hether it*s taking a day trip with yo"r
girlriends to a movie and dinner# or spending ho"r at a spa# the
!ea"ty salon# and getting yo"r nails done.
+ Stop trying to please him all the time. He*s not going to die i yo"
prepare something yo" want or dinner once in a while# or i yo"*re
not eeling like !eing intimate now and then.
+ Stop trying to look "pto him or total emotional "lillment. (o"*ve
lived yo"r lie witho"t a man !eore# right< ,hat did yo" do then< '
s"re hope it wasn*t $"st waiting to ind a man. S"rely yo" had yo"r
own interests and activities and riends that yo" en$oyed.
+ Stop letting him have his way all the time. Again# saying 3no* can
!e a good thing sometimes. 't makes him want yo" even more=
(es# he*s s"pposed to !e an integral and important part o yo"r lie#
!"t he*s never !een intended to !e the Alpha and 1mega o it. Most
importantly o allB start loving yo"rsel.
73
' he*s going to !e on a pedestal# yo" !elong right "p there with
him. Teach yo"rsel the dierence !etween loving someone and
!eing heavily dependent on them to make yo" eel good a!o"t
yo"rsel.
't*s important that yo" get !ack all the control yo"*ve lost# or may!e
never even really had in the irst place. ' that*s the case# a good
healthy dose o co"nseling co"ld do yo" a world o good. 1therwise
yo"*ll only ind yo"rsel massively depressed one day ) completely
con"sed# and yes# i worse comes to worst# o"t and alone again.
'*m not saying yo" sho"ld manip"late him or try to control him in
order to /gain the "pper hand.0 That wo"ldn*t work anyway. 'n act#
he wo"ld see right thro"gh that and pro!a!ly leave yo" on the spot#
i not act"ally toss yo" o"t. That*s not what we*re looking at here.
,hat '*m saying is this %ring yo"rsel to a position where yo"
have the same amo"nt o control over the relationship as he does.
1r !etter yet# get control o yo"r lie !ack. 1nly then will yo" ind
yo"rsel !eing completely "lilled and happy# and a!le to really love
him and accept the love he has within himsel to give to yo".
How can &ou do this?
Start paying attention to everything yo" do and say. -iscover who
yo" are# apart rom having a relationship to deine that. Stop doing
anything that ca"ses yo" to relin>"ish power over yo"rsel.
This may take a while# i yo"*re not "sed to doing that# !"t !elieve
me# it*s well worth it. Secondly# start training him to do the things
he sho"ld nat"rally want to !e doing or yo" !y "tili2ing all the
74
strategies yo"*ve !een learning in this man"al.
Remem!er# a relationship isn*t a ight over who gets the most
control. 'nstead# it*s a partnership where !oth partners deserve
e>"al control within the sphere o who they are.
1nce he sees this new sel+conidence in yo" that gives rom a
position o yo"r own power# rather than a position o weakness
seeking desperately or love and attention# it will totally change his
viewpoint o yo" and yo"*ll !ecome a tr"e treas"re to him5 one he*s
willing to give his very lie or in every possi!le way. He will respect
yo"# !eca"se yo" respect yo"rsel. He will love yo"# !eca"se yo"
love yo"rsel.
The old saying that one can only give what they already have is as
tr"e now as it*s ever !een. (o" can*t love rom a position o
"nhealthy dependency# !"t only rom a position o honest sel+
acceptance# sel+respect and sel+love.
75
Section 1
% sure fire method to make him follow throu#h with
&our re7uests
Dver had a sit"ation where yo"*ve asked yo"r man or something
and he responds with all kinds o e4c"ses why he can*t do it and
stating inn"mera!le reasons why<
This "s"ally triggers the all+too+amiliar# !"t wrong# response in
most women. They will either give "p in r"stration and $"st accept
his answer as an emphatic and inal 3No* or they gather their own
3weapons* and engage in a ight to convince a man he sho"ld do
what they ask.
Dither way# the woman*s not let a happy person# and in the case o
the second scenario# neither is the man# oten leaving them !oth to
n"rse their own wo"nds.
Neither o these strategies works. 'n the case o the irst# where the
woman $"t ac>"iesces to the 3No*# she*s let !eing "n"lilled and the
man is let thinking to himselB /%oy# that was easy=0 even tho"gh
what may happen is he gets the 3cold treatment* or a while.
'n the case where a woman ights against what he wants# yo"r man
will end "p resenting yo" even more than he did or yo"r asking.
Here are some o the things women say when they*re angry and
r"strated in this time o scenarioB
76
(o" never do anything or me anyway.
(o" always say no to my re>"ests.
,hen was the last time yo" said yes to my re>"est anyway<
,hy do yo" always have so many e4c"ses<
This comes across as attacking him# and will only make a man
distance himsel rom yo" and starting p"tting "p those invisi!le
emotional walls and !arriers. Lltimately# it will make him more likely
to say no to anything yo" ask as a reactionary# deensive
meas"re.
Remem!er how we disc"ssed how yo" can train yo"r man to treat
yo"< ,ell# sometimes# witho"t meaning to# yo" can train him to
keep saying 3No* to yo"r re>"ests to s"ch a point where he $"st says
3No* every single time# $"st o"t o ha!it.
'*m here to show yo" a very eective strategy yo" can "se with any
and every sit"ation aro"nd a man so that he*s trained to give more
3(es* responses than 3No.*
?ently 2 indirectly ta0e a(ay the option of saying @no'6
1kay# so how will he say 3No* i yo" don*t even give him that option
in the irst place< -on*t get the wrong idea. This doesn*t mean yo"*ll
!e p"shing him so hard to give in to yo"r re>"est that he "ltimately
gives in. 'nstead# yo"*ll gently say something that will s"!+
conscio"sly make him want to say 3(es.*
Here are the magic words
$t4s o0ay if you don4t (ant to do it6
That*s all there is to it. (es# ' know it so"nds very odd !"t when yo"
apply the a!ove statement !eore any re>"est# he will say yes a lot
77
more oten than no. Here*s an e4ample:
Honey= '*d really appreciate it i yo" can mow the lawn today as '
have a lot o oice work ' have to inish. Altho"gh ' "nderstand
that yo" have a lot o work too# so it*s okay i yo" don*t want to do
it.
,hy does this work so well< To !e honest# it*s !eca"se men are 9H
times more likely to say yes when they have the option to say no. '
yo" think a!o"t it# aren*t yo" the same way<
,omen don*t like to !e cornered into thinking o eeling they /have
to0 do what they*re asked to do# any more than a man does. ' don*t
know why this works !"t ' g"ess that*s $"st how h"man psychology
"nctions.
Also# this gives him !reathing space to think. He*s not eeling like he
has to accept it# !eca"se yo" haven*t made it so"nd that way.
'nstead# he* thinking + 1h she*s so nice or looking o"t or me !y
giving me the option o saying no. ' know mowing the lawn
wo"ldn*t !e easy or her# so ' sho"ld do it or her.
'n order to make the impact o this statement even more power"l#
give him the reason why yo" can*t do it: Say something like this
' wo"ld love to do it !"t ' have so m"ch work:or ' am eeling very
tired:or ' have another important task to cater to etc.
-o the formula is simple :
Tell him that it*s okay i he doesn*t eel like doing it Q ;ive him a
reason why yo" can*t do it R He will ollow thro"gh with yo"r
re>"est.
78
All o this its into his very logical thinking mind. (o"*re giving him
an 3o"t*# while at the same time telling him valid reasons why yo"
can*t do it yo"rsel.
Here are some more e4amplesB
Hon> ;m so rushed toda& because of havin# to clean up the kitchen before
leavin# for work5 'ou dont have to do this if &ou dont feel like it> but ; would
reall& appreciate it if &ou could take the trash cans to the curb5
;f &oure too bus& or tired> please dont feel like &ou have to do this> but ;d
reall& appreciate it if &ou could pick up the dr& cleanin# after work this
afternoon5 That wa& ; can #et home in time to start supper and have it read&
for when &ou #et home5
Hon> if &oure up to it> do &ou think &ou could clean out the #ara#e this
weekend? 'oure so much better at that than ; am> and ;m #oin# to be so
bus& doin# the laundr& and cleanin# the house5 ;ll even pick up some more
trash ba#s or an&thin# else &ou think &ou mi#ht need5
;ve been workin# on this proBect for a lon# time as &ou know> and ;m reall&
exhausted and could use some private time to finish it out5 'ou dont have to
do this> but do &ou think &ou mi#ht consider keepin# the kids while ; #et awa&
this weekend to a hotel room Bust so ; can work in complete 7uiet? ;d reall&
appreciate it5
79
Sweetheart> ;ve wanted to do somethin# reall& special for &ou for some time
now> but have a hard time> between work and ever&thin#> doin# it5 (ould &ou
mind cleanin# up the kitchen after supper toni#ht so ; could have some time
to prepare what it is ; was wantin# to for &ou?
Hon> &ou know how ; cant tolerate hi#h heat> and the back&ard reall& needs
weedin#5 ;m not sa&in# &ou have to do this> mind &ou> because ; reali9e its
hard on &ou too5 +ut ;d reall& appreciate it if &ou would> and then ; could
spend time #ettin# some thin#s done ; need to do to where both of us can
relax toni#ht5
As yo" can see# there are many ways to state things in s"ch a way#
that yo"*ll leave him eeling a 3hero* and give him a reward# too# or
doing what yo" ask whether it*s $"st helping yo" o"t# letting yo"
eel rested# or giving yo" time to do something special or him.
80
Section 1*
% deadl& mistake most women make which indirectl&
forces a man to #et distant with time
So what is this deadly mistake< ,itho"t keeping any "nnecessary
s"spense...Here it is )eing overly in love (ith a man.
Some women "nknowingly love a man to the point where it literally
chokes him. (et they are completely o!livio"s to how their actions
are aecting him.
's there s"ch a thing as !eing overly 3in love* with someone< 1h
yes# it*s not or no reason that there are movies and stories a!o"t
women who literally stalk men to the point they*re dangero"s=
That*s a worst case scenario# tho"gh. Ls"ally what happens when a
woman isn*t sec"re a!o"t hersel and the man she*s with is that
she*ll start tort"ring hersel with tho"ghts likeB

/,here is he<0

/,hy hasn*t he called0 ?or emailed# or te4ted@

't doesn*t matter i yo"*re in a new relationship# or !een married or
years. ' yo"*ve placed a lot o yo"r eeling o worth on yo"r man*s
availa!ility or yo"# this is going to happen. Again# what needs to
happen are a co"ple o things to help yo" "nderstand and deal with
this sort o thing.
81
' yo"*ve !"ilt "p yo"rsel as disc"ssed already# yo" know yo" have
worth# and i yo" know how a man works# the two can go together
to help yo" "nderstand that $"st !eca"se yo" don*t know where he
is at every moment# or doesn*t call every single day# it*s okay.
That doesn*t mean he doesn*t love yo". And i he doesn*t# do yo"
really want him< ;ive yo"rsel a !reak here. 1nce yo" reali2e this#
yo" can rela4# and g"ess what<
(o"*ll no only !e !etter or yo"rsel# !"t yo"*ll also !e !etter or him.
A man doesn*t want a clinging vine# no matter how 3c"te* that might
have !een at one time. 't*s okay in their little girls# not in their
girlriends or wives. So# here are the monsters that can sa!otage
any relationship yo" might have# with anyone reallyB

*. /n5iety...
,hat are yo" an4io"s a!o"t< That he*s o"t with someone else<
That he doesn*t want to !e with yo"< ' yo" think a!o"t it# what i
he is< -on*t yo" want to have a man who can*t wait to !e with yo"<
1 co"rse yo" do= And the !est way to do that is to rid yo"rsel o
the an4io"s ants. 1ne o the ways yo" can do this is to get !"sy
doing something yo" en$oy take yo"r mind o him. ,orrying isn*t
going to change anything.

,. #ossessiveness...
,hat have yo" got to !e possessive o< -o yo" own him< 1 co"rse
not# and i yo" eel yo" do# something is deinitely wrong again.
He sho"ld !e with yo" !eca"se there*s nowhere else he*d rather !e#
not !eca"se yo"*ve got a ring on yo"r inger# are engaged# or
anything else.
' there*s something tying him to yo" that isn*t his own heartelt
desire that he simply can*t deny# then there*s a good chance it*s not
going to last anyway. And all the 3yo"*re mine=* arg"ments in the
world aren*t going to make it so.

82
.. Aealousy...
,hat are yo" $ealo"s o< %oy# this is part o that insec"rity at its
worse# and there*s a good reason they call it the 3green+eyed
monster.* 't can literally eat yo" "p# and yo"r relationship with yo"r
man# >"icker than most anything.
's he going to sometimes notice other women< S"re# what man
wo"ldn*t "nless he*s literally !lind. ' he*s with yo"# even i he
looks# that doesn*t mean he wants. 't*s sort o like when yo" women
awn over someone like %rad .itt# or Eohnny -epp going on and
on to yo"r girlriends.
Shoot# yo" pro!a!ly even antasi2e a!o"t him in yo"r dreams= Still#
he*s not the one yo"*re with yo"r man is. The same can go or
yo"r man he can look# may!e even antasi2e a little# !"t i yo"*re
doing what yo" need to do to get him to oc"s on yo"# it*s not going
to mean anything more than a passing appreciation o something
pretty.

So# now that yo" "nderstand more a!o"t what makes yo" tick and
how to help yo"rsel get those clockworks in good working
condition so they don*t g"m "p yo"r sit"ation with yo"r man in a
way that $"st r"ns him o# let*s move orward to the ne4t section.

83
Section 12
/a#ic words to stop a breakup 8 make him #o cra9& for &ou
a#ain
' !et yo"*ve !een in a sit"ation where yo"r man was p"shing yo"
"rther and "rther away yet yo" had no idea what was !"gging
him. He ignored yo"5 !arely spoke to yo"# i at all. (o" co"ld tell he
was deep in tho"ght# o in a world o his own.
(o" wanted to get thro"gh to him and talk a!o"t it# !"t that
st"!!orn !rick wall was irmly set and locked and he showed no
sign o any interest in talking to yo".
'nstead# he spent all his time watching TO# s"ring the internet#
coming home late rom work# going o"t with !"ddies5anything other
than !eing alone than with yo". ' yo" asked him anything# yo"
were l"cky to get some sort o m"m!le or one word answer.
(o" co"ldn*t remem!er the last time he h"gged or kissed yo"# let
alone showed a se4"al interest. The sight o his !ack was !ecoming
more amiliar to yo" than his ace. (o" sensed it deep in yo"r g"t.
't was coming and yo" co"ldn*t stop it.
He was planning on leaving yo" or letting yo" go5 $"st taking his
time to work o"t the details. 1ne day# he*d tell yo" "p ront# or
yo"*d come home and ind him and all his things gone. ' yo" were
l"cky# yo" might get some sort o 3-ear Eane* letter !"t rom a
84
man# not likely.

,orst o all# yo" co"ldn*t ig"re o"t anything he*d done that wo"ld
make him !ehave like that. He didn*t seem e4actly "nhappy with
yo"# wasn*t sick# wasn*t stressed at work that yo" co"ld tell. He
wasn*t seeing anyone else that yo" knew o# hadn*t !een mean or
angry with yo". 'n act# there wasn*t anything yo" co"ld gra! hold
o to ig"re it o"t.
,hen aced with this sit"ation# there are several mistakes women
can make:

%ista0e * : Trying to convince him to love you or stay (ith
you...
,e*ve already disc"ssed that yo" can*t convince a man to love yo"
or like yo". Dven so# most women ass"me that i they can $"st
present a good eno"gh reason# or list o reasons# he*ll !ecome
convinced and starting loving them again.
(o"*re !ack at s>"are oneB needy and desperate. ' he wo"ldn*t
have liked yo" like that when he met yo"# he*ll like it even less now.
This partic"lar strategy only worsens things and makes him want to
clear o"t >"icker than ever. The sight o yo"r pain makes his worse
and $"st cements the certainty that he has to get away.
%ista0e , : Doing special things for him li0e : dressing
se5y7 ma0ing nice meals or doing his (or0 for him to earn
his affection...
A man can clearly see the dierence !etween when yo"*re doing
things !eca"se yo" want to and are comorta!le doing it# and when
yo"*re doing them in a last ditch eort to win his love and aection.
Again this is a "seless strategy.
85
Relationships aren*t e4actly give and take transactions. (o" don*t
always get an e>"al ret"rn or what yo" invest. Not only that# !"t
yo"*ll end "p cheapening yo"rsel !y yo"r eorts and eeling even
worse when he does leave.
Remem!er# yo" have to have val"e to him or him to want to stay.
This sort o action doesn*t do that. So giving a lot e4pecting to win
his aection isn*t going to work.
%ista0e . :)laming him for it all :
This is something women do when they*ve lost hope and think that
making a man reali2e that it was his entire mistake and eel g"ilty
may magically make him change his mind. Not only does this not
work !"t it will make him a!sol"tely hate yo" to the point that he*ll
think leaving yo" is the !est option or him.
1nce again# yo"*ve $"st shown him that he was right to think he
needed to get away. Again# he doesn*t want a needy !eggar or a
partner# either# and all these strategies p"t yo" in that position with
him.
Now that we know none o these strategies work# ' wo"ld like to
give yo" something that does work and in some cases works
e4tremely well. Since yo" already know that yo" can*t logically
convince a man to stay with yo" and none o the a!ove strategies
show any logic# !elieve me + ' will show yo" how to "tili2e that
eective secret lang"age that appeals directly to his s"!+conscio"s
mind.
He will not only get those old lovey+dovey eelings or yo" once
again !"t he*ll want to stay with yo"# too. Alright# so let*s get
started:
86
All h"mans have a tendency to take things or granted# and this
goes or relationships as well. 1nce a man has won yo" and has
yo"# he has a tendency to !ecome complacent and take yo" or
grantedB he has what he wanted.
Lnless yo" keep him interested and trigger ongoing eelings o
appreciation and desire or yo"# there*s a good chance yo"*ll lose
him# even in the !est o circ"mstances.
,e donAt really val"e the air we !reathe# in act we don*t even
notice it# "ntil something happens to somehow make "s aware
like a day o high poll"tion# or e4ample# or !eing in the middle o a
smoke+illed room that yo" $"st have to get away rom and get a
!reath o resh air.
Similarly yo"r partner doesnAt really val"e yo" when yo" chase him
aro"nd or attention in an attempt to win him over. That*s not how
yo" got him to win yo" in the irst place# and it*s not going to work
now. All he can sees when yo"*re doing the a!ove is someone who
is desperate# and that*s not an all"ring pict"re. That $"st reminds
him o that 3!all and chain* aect he wants to avoid.
What to do to (in him bac06
7or most h"mans# the pain and ear o loss o"tweighs the pleas"re
o gain to a point that a person will do anything to save what he or
she already has instead o gaining something new and !etter.
' donAt why it*s this way !"t that*s how h"man psychology works. 'n
a worst case scenario e4ample# it*s why some a!"sed women stay
with their a!"sers# to the point o even e4posing themselves to
!eing killed.
Thereore# what yo" want to do now is create a sense o loss in
yo"r man*s mind where he !egins to eel constant emptiness ) a
sense o an4iety5 pretty m"ch like where he has yo" right now with
what he*s doing.
87
'n order to achieve that# here are some e4amples o things yo" can
say
Honey= ' think we*ve grown distant lately ) need some space. ' can
see that yo" aren*t comorta!le with me like yo" "sed to !e# and
'*ve decided we need some time apart rom each other. May!e it*s
!est or !oth o "s.
And $"st leave it at that. %etter yet# do this over te4t or email. That
way yo" don*t have to deal with any immediate response or reaction
rom him. Now let me tell yo" why this works e4tremely well:
&irst you disarmed him completely :He was e4pecting yo" to
show strong disagreement# to cry and !eg and plea# to ask what
yo" co"ld do to make things right again. 'n other words# create a
scene. %y agreeing that !reaking "p is the right thing to do# yo"
took the wind o"t o his sails. He wasn*t e4pecting that. Now he*s
ca"ght o g"ard and let wondering -id she want to !reak "p
with me# too< ,hat have ' don*t to make her eel that way<
Be5t7 you sho(ed no desperation or neediness :(o"*ve
shown him that yo" are willing to walk away and aren*t going to
chase him aro"nd or his attention. (o"*re ok with it. 'n act# yo"
can !e happy witho"t him. ' he wishes to !e with yo"# then he*ll
have to do all the work. (o"*re !ack to s>"are one where yo"*ve
$"st triggered his need to !e hero# protector and provider all over
again and why< ,ell# somehow he*s ailed or yo" wo"ldn*t !e so
willing to leave# right<
You have indirectly told him that you don4t (ant him
anymoreC either:Some reverse psychology comes into play here.
%y easily agreeing with the !reak"p and even s"ggesting that yo"
two need some time o# he starts to eel a !it re$ected. Dven when
he might pretend it doesn*t !other him# it will !other him
immensely. And he*ll start wondering what it is he*s done that made
yo" eel like that.
Ater yo"*ve said the a!ove statement# yo"r ne4t move sho"ld !e to
completely avoid him or a ew days. No calls# no emails# no doing
88
anything special or him# 2ilch. Move o"t o the !edroom# i not o"t
o the ho"se. 't*s !etter i it*s o"t o the ho"se# tho"gh. 6eave him
completely alone.
(o"*d !e s"rprised that he*ll start making attempts to get in to"ch
with yo" ) will want to know what yo"*ve !een "p to. He*ll ask how
yo"*re doing5 want to talk to yo" or ho"rs to get any and every
little detail.
(o"*ve incited his c"riosity. ,hen yo" do answer his calls# or emails#
etc.# keep it short and !rie. Remem!er# yo"*re !"sy= ,hat yo" can
say or write# is something like this
'*ve !een having a !last and wo"ld love to tell yo" all a!o"t it.
Things have !een going great or me. ,e deinitely needed time
apart. ' g"ess when things happen they happen or a good reason#
right< Anyway# ' am in a r"sh# '*ll speak to yo" or write later0.
This very statement will t"rn his c"riosity into a !"rning desire to
know what*s tr"ly going on in yo"r lie. %y saying a lot o great
things are going on in yo"r lie he*ll think two things
*+ Ho( is she having so much fun (ithout me> -oes it mean
she never wanted to !e with me anyway< Has she o"nd someone
else<How can she get over me that easily< ,hat is it a!o"t me that
made this so easy or her<

,+ Has she completely moved on or is she still interested>
He will !e st"ck in a 2one o "ncertainty as he doesn*t know i
yo"*ve completely moved on or not. And the act that yo"*re having
so m"ch "n witho"t him will start p"mping "p his attraction or yo"
once again.
1nce that happens# yo"*ve triggered that interest in yo" again# and
rom then on# it*s no+holds+!arred. 't*s as i yo" $"st met and yo"
hold all the keys. (o"*re sel+conident and sel+reliant and he has to
win yo" all over.
89
This is good or yo"# too. (o" have to remem!er what yo"*re worth#
that yo" have val"e so that yo" don*t let what yo" e4pect rom him
tear yo" down when yo" don*t get that.
This act"ally gives yo" a chance to reassess yo"rsel and have some
"n time# with girlriends# getting o"t# going to that movie yo"*ve
!een dying to see or a while# !"ying that new o"tit# may!e even
visit amily yo" haven*t seen in a while.
Dither way# it tr"ly does give yo" !reathing space and him# too.
And !eore yo" know it# with that incitement o old aections and
interests# everything will not only !e !ack where yo" want it# !"t
even !etter.
Again# s"re this might so"nd like a game to some olks !"t this
strategy "s"ally gets the !est res"lts in even the most desperate o
sit"ations. E"st !e prepared. 't may take moving apart or a while#
and it may also take some restr"ct"ring o yo"r own mindset.
The thing is# yo" don*t have to settle any more than he does. And
yo" want a g"y who adores and loves yo". 't*s a resh start or the
!oth o yo" that ends "p in something good or each o yo".

90
;mportant <oints To .emember
Respect ) appreciation are the two most important
motivators or a man. A man will do almost anything in his
power to get respect ) appreciation rom a woman.
A man "s"ally preers to !e respected rather than loved.
,hen given a choice !etween respect ) love# men always
choose respect.
A man will alter his actions !ased on how yo" e4pect him to
perorm. (o" act"ally hold the power to inl"ence him to do
more o the things yo" want him to do.
Men# in general# ind it very diic"lt to oc"s on more than
one thing at a time.
'n order to eectively motivate a man to action# yo" have to
s"ggest what he sho"ld do instead o demanding it.
' yo" want yo"r man to do something ma$or or yo" then
the !est way is to irst ask him to do something small irst.
That way he is more likely to ollow thro"gh with a !igger
commitment.
The key is to reward him more when he does things which
please yo" ) p"nish him when he does things that yo" hate.
'n order to !e "nderstood# yo" have to irst "nderstand.
Dvery man wants to commit !"t only to the right woman.
Make it a ha!it to listen to him# make it easy or him to
91
conide in yo"# and pay attention.
Taking the time to "nderstand where he*s coming rom# and
to change how yo" approach that# will help him change his
perception and !e more open to commitment and less
resistance.
A man is genetically wired to !e a provider and protector o
his loved ones. He has a nat"ral desire to please ) protect
yo".
A man*s home is his castle# and he needs to !e Cing. So# let
him lead.
6isten to his advice care"lly# and even i yo" don*t take it
sometimes# do so in s"ch a way that it never "ndermines
him.
(o" need to give him every opport"nity to make yo" happy
!eca"se it makes him happy in the process.
7rom time to time tell him how sae yo" eel with him# and
how his care and "nderstanding are some o the things yo"
really val"e in him.
.lant a very positive image o yo"rsel in his mind !y making
him oc"s on good memories o yo"# and not the negative
ones.
As a woman# yo" hold the power to lit "p his spirits# or
!"rden him down even "rther. 6earn to give him the git o
good eelings instead o !"rdening him with !ad eelings.
Clear yo"r mind o any preconceived idea o trying to it into
some mold set "p to make yo" into something yo" don*t like
92
or a man.
A man*s s"!+conscio"s only works on pleasing a woman as
long as it knows she*s never >"ite his.
The trick is to tease him in a way that occasionally triggers
this genetic need to p"rs"e yo". That way heAll remain
attracted to yo".
The more enhanced yo" keep yo"rsel# the stronger yo" are
as a person and a woman# and the more he*ll appreciate yo"
and want to do anything and everything to make s"re he
keeps yo".
His intensity o attraction or yo" will correlate with the val"e
he places on yo" in his head. ' he doesn*t val"e yo" or yo"r
time eno"gh# event"ally yo" will see it in his actions.
A woman can !"rden a man !y disc"ssing her pro!lems and
not looking or sol"tions. So let him know !eore+hand that
yo" only wish to !e heard ) can deal with the iss"e yo"rsel.
Men are vis"al creat"res. A simple eort towards maintaining
yo"rsel will keep a man pleased. This isn*t only limited to
physical looks5 it*s also inl"enced !y how yo" carry yo"rsel
and how yo" !ehave.
Dvery man has a deep down desire to !e his woman*s hero.
This is why it*s important to constantly appreciate him )
show yo"r praise in words and actions when he does
something that pleases yo".
93
All h"mans have a tendency to take things or granted# and
this goes or relationships as well. 1nce a man has won yo"
and has yo"# he has a tendency to !ecome complacent and
take yo" or grantedB he has what he wanted.
The person who cares the least controls the relationship.
Darly on in the relationship a man will test yo" o"t to see
how ar yo"*re willing to go to please him. How ar yo" go
will "ltimately determine the val"e he places on yo".
Teach yo"rsel the dierence !etween loving someone and
!eing heavily dependent on them to make yo" eel good
a!o"t yo"rsel.
Remem!er# a relationship isn*t a ight over who gets the most
control. 'nstead# it*s a partnership where !oth partners
deserve e>"al control within the sphere o who they are.
Men are 9H times more likely to say yes to a re>"est when
they have the option to say no.
94
95

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