From One Parent to Another

Printed with permission. An extract from the STEAA (NSW) Inc. publication TE!P"#.
Elizabeth Robinson, A Suzuki violin teacher and mother of three school-age children, understands
the challenge of daily music ractice! "ere, she shares her #lo ten tis$ for getting the most out of
your child#s ractice time!
Encoura$in$ m% own children throu$h their music practice is definitel% the hardest thin$ I do all da%.
I#&e $ot ' children( one )* doin$ piano( one )+ doin$ &iolin and one , doin$ piano. The eldest has
been at it for )- %ears now and I ha&e to admit that there are fleet In$ moments when I thin. that m%
life would be simple if it weren#t for music. /ut this time spent one on one with each of them has
also been some of the most rewardin$ and worthwhile times we ha&e had.
I .now that as we perse&ere and $raduall% ma.e pro$ress that the% are learnin$ priceless life
lessons. The% are learnin$ that nothIn0 worthwhile comes instantl% or without considerable effort.
Their brains are bein$ trained to function 0uic.l%( memor% is de&el opin$( co1ordination is refined and
abilit% $rowin$.
"&er the holida%s I ha&e had the chance to re1read a few old fa&ourites from the boo. shelf and I
would li.e to share a few thou$hts which I hope will encoura$e %ou as %ou face a new %ear of bein$
the 2home1teacher2.
Whene&er we si$n up for Su3u.i music lessons( we as the parent( ta.e on the role of bein$ the
2home1teacher2. Shinichi Su3u.i set up this model of the teacher( parent and child trian$le. This was
inspired b% the simple obser&ation that he was onl% with the teacher for
)
45 hour per wee.( but the
parent was with the child all wee.. It is clear who has the $reater influence. So as %ou $o alon$ to
the lessons( turn off those mobile phones and watch and listen. In the lesson the teacher is
modellin$ how %ou should practise at home. 6ou and I( the parent( ha&e such cluttered brains as we
tr% to 7u$$le the dail% lo$istical details of who#s where when( that we are unli.el% to remember what
the teacher does and sa%s unless we write it down8 So( rule 9) is $et writin$8
:ere are m% Top Ten Tips for better practice;
). Simplify, simplify, simplify. In our attempt to brin$ up well1rounded chil dren( we ha&e
sacrificed proficienc% and excellence in one area for a taste or fleetin$ ac0uaintance with
man% areas. "ur children ha&e therefore not perse&ered in an% one discipline lon$ enou$h to
understand #how to train# nor #how to persist# throu$h tou$h situations. The% are experts in
dabblin$ in a bit of this and that( and $reat at 0uittin$ when the $oin$ $ets tou$h. <an I ur$e
%ou to unload some of those extracurricular acti&ities and pursue depth in one or two. =oes
this lead to a 2narrow2 indi&idual> Not a bit of it. This child is able to de&elop hi$h abilit% in
one field( learnin$ precious lessons for life about how to learn? In later life( these s.ills will be
transferable to an% pursuit he desires.
5. Turn off the TV. =o %ou find %ourself callin$ %our children six times to dinner because the%
are $lued to the tele> The% ha&en#t practised because the% are surfin$ the net( pla%in$
$amebo% or a computer $ame> !% ad&ice is( $et rid of the competi tion. !onda% to @rida%(
ban all technolo$% that is not strictl% school related. No chattin$( no #!essen$er# and a time
limit on those phone calls. "n the wee.ends the% can indul$e( once all the essentials are
done. Aids will compl% with these limits if %ou administer them consistentl%. And %ou won#t feel
li.e a na$$in$ banshee.
'. If at all possible, get the practice done before school. This is eas% when %our child is at
the local preschool or school. /ut it $ets tric.ier when the% lea&e &er% earl% to tra&el lon$er
distances to hi$h school. When m% older two started to lea&e at ,.5- am( I put it to them 1
would the% $et up earl% and fit it in( or would the% lea&e it until B.'-( ,.'-( C.'- in the
e&enin$> The% opted to $et up earlier and %ears down the trac. the% are happ% with that
choice. The% had both tried the late option once or twice and .new how painful it was. At the
same time( I had once tried to do a ma.e1up practice with m% %oun$est child when she was +
or B. It was so excruciatin$ and we $ot so little done( that I &owed I would ne&er do it a$ain. I
am not particularl% a mornin$ person( but I can#t bear to $et little milea$e for m% time. I want
to $et the $reatest benefit out of m% input. <an I put it to %ou to tr% the mornin$ 1 e&en if it is
&er% earl%. I thin. it will re&olutionise %our child#s compliance and concentrationD %ou are fresh
and so is the child. The whole exercise is less stressful. Then whate&er happens in the after1
noon( the child is in&ited to pla% etc.( the practice is done( the child is free to $o and no $uilt8
+. Go with you child to practice. It#s not much use tellin$ a small child to 2$o and practise2.
We are so bus% runnin$ around that %our child will notice that %ou bother to sit with him. It will
tell him how important %ou thin. their &iolin4piano lessons are. <on&ersel%( if %ou don#t ma.e it
a priorit% and $o with them the% will .now that %ou don#t reall% ta.e practice seri ousl% at all.
The child will learn more about %our attitude to the practice than about notes on the
instrument.
B. Start with tonalisation. This is a $reat warm1up but the tric. is to $et the child not 7ust to $o
throu$h the motions of pla%in$ the notes( but actuall% to listen to the sound the% are ma.in$
and ma.e it more beautiful.
*. Before you start, go over the notes you made in the lesson. Precisel% what did the
teacher want %ou to focus on this wee.> What words did she use 1 if %ou use these same
e&ocati&e words( %ou will 7o$ the child#s memor% of what was said and done. Which
notes4fin$erin$4bowin$4 phrasin$ etc. needed fixin$> Eet it clear in %our head and .eep
remindin$ the child.
,. Get stuck into the new piece while the child is fresh. =on#t necessaril% start at the
be$innin$ 1 start with the tric.% bit and $et it out of the wa%. <hoose a bar or two (we call this
spot# practice) and ma.e sure that the child repeats it perfectl% man% times. It is no $ood
doin$ it o&er and o&er when no two times are the same. "therwise the child 7ust $ets &er%
$ood at pla%in$ the wron$ thin$8 When %ou as. the brain to reproduce it( it will not .now
which of these different &ersions %ou re0uire. The brain must $et exactl% the same input(
man% times o&er( before a perfect reprint is possible.
F. Praise, praise, praise <atch the child doin$ somethin$ ri$ht and praise them. Praise
must be constant( specific and la&ish. An% little thin$ %ou see done well( tell the child how
deli$hted %ou are to see that beha&iour. <hances are %ou will see it a$ain. There is no need
to point out e&er% error that %ou saw. <hoose one point to wor. on and reward with praise
an% effort made in that direction e&en if it is not perfect %et. Gemember bac. to when %our
child was learnin$ to wal.. We all $oo and $aa at an% effort made b% an infant in their 7ourne%
toward wal.in$. We did not $row wear% in praisin$ e&er% effort. It ne&er crossed our mind(
e&en after the child had fallen for the B--th time( that perhaps this child had no talent for
wal.in$. We did not conclude that this child lac.ed a special $ene for wal.in$8 No. We were
patient. We had absolute confidence that the child would wal.. Somewhere between about )-1
5+ months( all normal infants succeed at wal.in$. Wal.in$ is the most wonderfull% complex feat
of balance and coordination. None of us .nows at exactl% what a$e each child will achie&e it(
but we wait patientl% and $asp with deli$ht at e&er% phase of the process. This is how we
should approach our children as the% learn an instrument. It matters not( when the% $et past
each hurdle( but that the% perse&ere until the% succeed. We must ha&e the same confidence
that the% ha&e the abilit% to learn to pla% &iolin( as we had re$ardin$ wal.in$. If we belie&e( the%
will achie&e. There are no special $enes nor special endowments of talent. The onl% difference
is that some parents belie&e that success is possible and others do not. What .ind of parent will
%ou be>
C. !ake practice non"negotiable. 6ou expect then to clean their teeth e&er% da% don#t %ou
whether the% feel li.e it or not. @eelin$ li.e it is not a prere0uisite for practiceD Su3u.i made the
concession that if a child could not eat( the% were not re0uired to practise.
)-. #on$t even consider %uitting. 2Huitters ne&er win and winners ne&er 0uit2. In m% experience(
it is not alwa%s the bri$htest or 0uic.est that $o on and succeed in music. Some exceptional
indi&iduals $i&e up because the% ha&e ne&er stru$$led with an%thin$ in life before and when
faced with a lon$( steep learnin$ cur&e( wear% alon$ the wa%. "ften the #plodders# .eep $oin$
because the% are used to life bein$ difficult and the% habituall% perse&ere. 6our child ma% rant
and ra&e and tal. about 0uittin$. In m% opinion( the% are mostl% tr%in$ to tell %ou that the% are
stru$$lin$ and findin$ it tou$h. =on#t listen to their precise words( but the messa$e behind the
words. The% need %our support at this moment( not permission to 0uit. I firml% belie&e that we
ha&e to be a safet% net# for our child. Iet them blow off steam( listen to them. It is tou$h. Empa1
thise with them. Thin. of some endea&our in %our life with which %ou stru$$le( e.$. 0uittin$
smo.in$( losin$ wei$ht( exercisin$ re$ularl%( etc. These disciplines are incredibl% tou$h.
Support %our child( but don#t $i&e in. "ne of m% children used to test me re$ularl% in m% resol&e
about 0uittin$. !% heart would pound but I didn#t $i&e in. !onths later( he would hear of a pupil
of mine that had 0uit and would sa% 2%ou#re .iddin$ 1 wh% did his mother let him 0uit>2 :e felt let
down that the parent had lac.ed the stren$th to stand up to the child. I don#t pretend this is
eas%. It ta.es loads of emotional ener$%. /ut I belie&e our children are cr%in$ out to us to ha&e
the $uts to stand up to them.
Su3u.i News
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Term '( 5--+