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In this session, I am going to talk about Cooperation because your ability to get along with others will determine your success in life more than any other single factor. Shwa said,” I will pay more for the ability to get along with others than for any other skill in the American industry.” Some diagnostics in America” about who let go of their positions over seven years; found that 95% of people who are let go from their Companies were let go because of their inability to work well with others. 85% of all the problems you have in your life will involve other people. That means also 85% of happiness came from other people.As a Fact in life almost all our problems are seen to talk back. To win cooperation with others, the very best way is to practise the golden rule. To do with others as you want have to do with you. Practise the law of “Sowing and reaping” :what ever you sow in your relationships you will reap in your relationships. If you want people to co operate with you, you must be co operative with them. Treat everybody with courtesy, kindness and patience. Remember every person you meet is carrying a heavy load. Psychologists tell us that you have a healthy personality to the degree to which you get along with the greatest number of other people and the more you like yourself the more you like others and the more they will like you. If you practise self discipline and have a clear sense of purpose, if you are good at what you do and accept complete responsibility for actions, if you strive to serve others with what they want and concentrate on the highest pay of your activity,you tend to be positive self-confident
individual and you have no troubles in getting on with other people. However, there are some key ideas that can help you to be more effective with others; for instance: 1- To build a pace of power and influence, the safest way is to build a network of dependencies. Your power in business or industry or politics, the whole will be determined by who you can call upon for help and assistance. 2- You build your power pace by seeking every opportunity to assist others, with no immediate expectation of return. If you remember the movie “ the God father” in which he become the Godfather by doing favours for other people and he would say upon for fulfilling a favour for someone, (perhaps), I will be able to call upon you for a kindness some day and what he did he built up a network of dependencies of people that he had helped and who are in favours and he was able to call upon them. Of course this strategy, pre-supposes that you are good at your work and let me make this point very clear: You can only build power within an organization of value to the degree to which you are excellent at what you do. If you attempt to build a power pace to compensate for a lack of excellent what will happen is to what just perceived has being cheap politics and that will send them to work out. 3-To assure greater success in negotiations and meetings, the key is preparation; you will always do better with the plan than without. So prepare, prepare, prepare. The power is always on the side of a person with the most knowledge and the best notes and the most thorough preparation. In interacting with others A key to co operative relationships is to be a good listener and here some keys to effective listening: by the way, most people are poor listeners and if
they become a little bit better you’ll be amazed by the difference it will make in your interaction with others: 1-Listen attentively: Face the speaker directly. 2-Listen without interruption: listen without thinking at the same time what are you going to say as soon as the speaker takes a breath. Listen quietly and patiently and calmly without interrupting or attempting to interrupt. 3-Pause before you replying. Pausing is classy. If you allow 3-5 seconds to pass before you respond, you will be convenient to other person very clearly that you are carefully considering the other person's remarks and you are avoiding the risk of interrupting of one others. An advantage to pausing is that psychologists tell us that you hear better when you pause before you plan , because the words of the other person is said are so keen .If you behave like that and you get better understanding of what the other individual actually mean. 4-Feed it back in your own words. A very powerful too, and very effective in the world of sales is when a person make a comment on an observation feed it back in your own words to make it clear and fully understand if you are been listening carefully. 5-Question for clarification : remember in conversation, the person who asks questions has control. One of my favourite question for clarification is simply this: How do you mean exactly? Remember if there is any question in your mind about what the other person means, you have probably not understood. Ask open-ended questions to control the conversation openended questions can’t be answered yes or no. Examples are What ,When, Who, Why and How. Such these questions encourage the person to expand on the subject.
7-Ask closed-ended questions to get commitment. A closeended questions that must be answered yes or no. they usually begin with verbs like: Are you going to be making a decision today? Is this what you are looking for? Does that make sense to you ? And so on. In Building co-operative relationships, practise the law of indirect effort. The law in indirect effort says the inner relationships with others, We almost invariably get what we want, more rapidly by indirect means rather than by the direct means. For Example, If you want to impress someone else , the direct way is to try to impress him which we all try from one time to another usually with humiliating results. However in the indirect way of impressing another person is to be impressed by them. There is nothing that so impress others and for you to be impressed by them. Because any other person can be interested in who you are and will respect your judgment and opinions. Another example of the law of indirect effect is: If you want others to be interest in you, be interested in them. If want to like you, like them. If you want other people respect you, respect them. If you want other people to believe in you, believe them. If you want to have a friend, be a friend. The law of indirect effect is the key to effective relationships with other people. And here is an extinction . here is some of The keys of co-operative human relations: A – Acceptance:- Accepting other person unconditionally for exactly who they are without judgment and without reservation . Acceptance and rejection is something that takes place with every interaction and we are attuned from childhood to be very alert to whether or not be accepted or rejected by others, in social interaction . And the finest and the simplest way to express acceptance of others in
a conversation is simply to smile. Simply to smile that requires twelve muscles to smile and a hundred and three muscles to frown . And when ever we smile with anther person it is not only puts them in ease, raises their self – esteem. But when you smile , it releases and undorthens in the brain and gives you a feeling of well being and contentment . B- Appreciation : I think the most two beautiful words in my language are “please and thank you “ will get you to anywhere you want to go. The more you say thank you to people, the more they will want to do things for you in order to hear you say thank you again. And one of the best things you can do to build self – esteem in your children is to say thank you to them for everything they do for you. And one of the best things you can do, to build a happy home is to say thank you to your spouse for everything they do small or large around the house. Another key to build a human relation is. C-Approval and praise: which is to acknowledge and recognize when people do things well. And here are some of keys to approval and giving approval : 1-Be sincere: never expresses approval unless you believe it , unless you actually feel that the person has done something that is praise worthy . 2- To be immediate: that means if some body does something, give him a praise immediately after words. Praise delayed is usually praise that has no effect at all. 3- Be specific: when you praise. If a person has done a good job say on a specific item say: “you have done an excellent job on this item.” Always praise specifically what would you like to see repeated. 4- If you would like to develop a habit in another person, praise continuously until the habit is developed. If you like to
maintain the habit then praise intermittently after words. In other words, praise the person every second or third time they do it to maintain the habit and place. D- Admiration: Every body likes a compliment, and the two things that you can quite safely compliment people on are their traits or their positions. ” You certainly are punctual ” or “that’s very generous of you ” or “you are certainly are working hard today ” is a compliment in a person on their traits. people are very proud of their personal traits or compliment people on their position. People place a lot of emotional significance on the position they surround them selves with. If you praise a person's car, you can never go wrong. Praise a person’s children , praise a person’s house, or a person’s furniture in their house or in their office. It raises the other person’s self-esteem and makes them far more receptive to working co-operatively with you. E- Agreeability: Be agreeble . Be an a agreeable person .Be the sort of person that people like to have around because, you are not argumentative or difficult. And even if you disagree ask your self always: “ How important is this? ” and if it is not important, let it pass. One of the characteristics of people we always enjoy is that they smile, say thank you. They praise and approve our behaviors and our actions. They admire our positions and they are agreeable and easy get along with. To encourage teamwork remember this: in business or in industry or in all organizations in our society today; All work is done by teams. And you ability to work well on a team ,an your ability to build an effective team, to get the job done is going to determine your success as much as any other single factor. So here is some keys to encourage team work:
Keys to Encourage teamwork
1- Make sure every one knows what you are trying to accomplish. Make clear that every body on the team knows what the goals, or the objectives of the team are. Make sure that every body knows why you are trying to accomplish it. What is the reason? What is the purpose? Who will be affected? And how much? People will go along way to help you achieve the “ what” if they know the “why”. I find in running my offices, I always explained my secretaries why a letter is to be typed. By asking a person to make a call I tell him why… etc. when a person knows why something is to be done, they have the opportunity to exercise their imagination to find different and even better ways to do it. 2- Make sure every one exactly what they are expected to contribute individually. It’s very important when you build a team; each team member knows exactly what part they are to play and each other team member knows each other team member's part, and they also know the standard of performance that is expected of each job. 3- Make each team member especially responsible for at least one complete part of the job . Each person on the team has to have one hundred percent responsibility for at least one part of the endeavor. When a person has a responsibility for one complete part \ one discreet unit, to gives him a feeling of control and personal responsibility on the job. Whereas if they do not have a discreet of the job to do , it is very easy for them to say that they did their share and if something is not done properly, it’s not their fault. 4- Give ample praise and recognition for performance. The basic rule with regard to team building is to give lots of praise and recognition in public, give criticism and constructive feed back in private. Remember there ‘s always enough praise to give away. Remember, there’s always credit to go around. The very best team leaders and the very best
team builders are those who give all the credit to their members and take account ability on their shoulders. 5- Personaly accept 100% responsibility for any thing that goes wrong . take blame and share the glory. That exceptional are always those who if the person does not do the job except that it’s their responsibility of having put the person in the job in the first place. Remember people makes mistakes and it often happens that you put a person in a job for which they are not suited. If that is the case, it’s not the person fault, it’s the fault of the executive who put him in this position and it is the responsibility of the executive to remove them. 6- Never criticizes, condemn or complain. It lowers morel and peoples self-esteem. The very best team leaders are those who never criticize or complain about the performance of the players. They give constructive feedback. They give their players advice and how to do better next time. But they never criticize or run them down. 7- Remember everything that you do that makes other people feel good about themselves and boost own self-esteem and make sure more dynamic, successful person. The real key to co-operative human relations is to treat every one as though they were the most important person in the world; a million dollar customer. And as I said earlier: your ability to get on with others, your ability to function well on teams, your ability to work well in meetings and co-operative affectively with other human beings will more than anything else determine the height to which you will raise in your field of industry. Prepared by: Mr. Jehad Ghazala Revised by: Mr. Ibrahim Al-Ebeid. Typing: Mr. Mohammed Nur.(a student). Kuwait 23/11/2002